tv The Colbert Report Comedy Central August 30, 2011 11:30pm-12:00am PDT
>> stephen: thank you very much. thank you, ladies and gentlemen. welcome to the report. thank you for joining us. (cheers and applause) very kind. thank you so much. thank you. welcome, please, you're too kind, ladies and gentlemen, please. folks, i want to thank you, in here, i want to welcome you out there. we've already had a very intimate evening here in the studio. (laughter) >> stephen: nation-- (laughter) >> stephen: i shared a few things. (laughter) nation, this is a very big week for republican presidential candidates. tonight there is the debate in iowa that will feature all the major players andtism pawlenty. (laughter) >> stephen: then saturday, of course, is the straw poll in ames, a crucial test to see if candidates can get
midwesterners to put down a food plate long enough to mark a ballot but the big news today came from the iowa state fair in des moines where in an attempt to peel to more voters ron paul had himself batter dipped and deep fat fried. that was good. more chipotle sauce. meanwhile, mitt romney was at the state fair in his every man dungarees when he was ambushed by liberal activists with a gotcha question about social security. and with his answer, romney proved he didn't just dress like the average joe, he understands the average joe. >> we have to make sure that the promises we make in social security, medicaid and medicare are promises we can keep. and there are various ways of doing that. one is we could raise taxes on people. >> corporations. >> corporations. >> corporations are people, my friend. >> stephen: yes. >> aw. >> stephen: corporations are people, my friend. they're like members of your family.
your brother, fax machine. your uncle zen, your auntannie, your mama celeste, your go daddy. folks, i have been fighting this good fight for years. >> corporations are legally people in the united states. >> corporations are people. >> corporations are people. >> corporations are people too. >> stephen: would you let your daughter date a corporation, sir? >> no, i would not. >> stephen: wow. in this day and age that kind of bigot ree, it is time to remake guess who's coming to dinner. this time with an oil rig. (laughter)ñi and you know, you know it is going to drive experience ear tracy crazy to think about his daughter getting drilled. (laughter) now with romney's historic statement of corporate personhood he has become
this generations civil rights champion. a dr. martin luther inc., if you will. so folks, i want to salute this brave man for his courageous new campaign slogan. i am confident that it is one that voters will remember come election time. of course, with all of this happening, folks, -- >> you can applaud me. you can applaud me. believe me, i understand the instinct. folks, with all of this happening the national news media is descending on iowa this weekend which can mean only one thing. >> sarah palin is heading back to eye wap. the former alaska governor is announcing she's taking her bus tour to the state fair this week, just 30 miles south from where the republican presidential debate will be held tonight. >> well, that's a happy coincidence. after a brief two-month pit stop sarah palin is bringing her bus tour of american's historic places to the
historic iowa state fair where thomas edison invented the funnel cake. (laughter) >> stephen: this is the same-- this is the same-- stop it. this is the same kind of coincidence that took her bus tour to new hampshire the day mitt romney declared his candidacy. apparently sarah palin's version of the bat signal is anyone else's spotlight. so folks, don't be surprised if during tonight's debate you see this. now of course as a conservative i love sarah palin but frankly she is stealing focus away from the real story. >> the first thing the colbert superpac has done is create an ad for rick perry. >> americans for a better tomorrow tomorrow has released its first ad. >> a one minute campaign ad that is now airing across iowa. >> he is endorsing rick
perry. >> supporting rick perry for president. >> that's right. colbert superpac, not affiliated with this show, has made their first ad and has changed the game in iowa, folks. i have been saying for weeks rick perry is the guy. the problem is according to the tenacious ken vogel at "politico" there are six other superpacs already swiping at one another to be the perry superpac and rake in cash from perry's billionaire buddy. so last night we launched our air power to prove that we're 9 only superpac rick perry really needs. jim? >> a storm is gathering over iowa. a money storm. out of state groups like grow pack and jobs for iowa pac are flooding the iowa airwaves telling you to vote rick perry at the ames straw poll.
we they think they can buy your vote with their unlimited superpac money. >> but americans for a better tomorrow tomorrow ask what about our unlimited superpac money. we want you to vote for rick perry too. but not their rick perry, our rick perry. on august 13th write in rick perry, that's perry with an as q as for america, with an "a" for iowa,-- that's right. (cheers and applause) i'll join you. i'll join you. folks, i want every one in the iowa nation to go to the ames straw poll this saturday, going to be a beautiful day. there's food, there's booze. and write in rick perry with
an "a" why "a" because there's no "e" in team. and this evening-- (laughter) >> and this evening at 1700 hours we struck again with our second ad in the greater des moines metropolitan area. jimmy? >> iowa, a land of good people who can make up their own minds. but outside groups like jobs for iowa superpac are trying to pander to iowans with pro perry ads featuring cheap cornography. >> just so you will vote for rick perry at the ames straw poll. >> but americans for a better tomorrow tomorrow believe that iowans deserve better. and we're going to give it to you. >> oh way.
on august 13th. write in rick perry. that's perry with an a for america, with an a for iowa, americans for a better tomorrow tomorrow is responsible for the content of this advertising. oh. >> stephen: wow. (cheers and applause) >> stephen: wow. my goodness. i do declare. that is some ear sizzling hot buttered below the corn belt action that is bound to appeal to iowa's basest colonel instincts. i better togo to commercial before i jiffy pop. we'll be right back. (cheers and applause)
>> controversy seems to follow me wrefer i seek it because while these ads appeared on two stations in des moines it was originally supposed to air on three. but one our before the first ad was to air last night i received this actual e-mail from woi des moines's news leader, quote, our general manager has reviewed both of the spots that your group wants to run tonight and tomorrow and we are going to decline to air them. >> oooohh! >> stephen: oohh indeed. (laughter) folks, the midwestern media elite are trying to silence us. they don't want your voice to be heard, folks. the fat casses in des moines think they can sit in their ivory corn sigh lows and play puppet master with our national politics. and guess what we're not invited. are you going to take it? >> no! >> stephen: good because i was afraid you were going to take it and i don't want to.
(laughter) just listen why they want to silence us. they say the ads quote are confusing to voters as we get closer to the straw poll on saturday and the debate on thursday. >> confusing to iowa voters? really? we're not talking about the [bleep] over-- dip [bleep] over in nebraska this is iowa. (applause) and unlike-- excuse me, cus me. but unlike woi, i believe that iowa voters can understand even a complex message like go to the am ercks straw poll, write in perry, spell it with an "a" or did i lose you woi? should i have the boys from who news channel 13 explain it to you? and listen to how they end. >> please let me know if you have any more questions. >> yeah, just one more. what the [bleep]?
with an "a" i'm mad! (applause) i am hopping mad. but of course i am not mad at the news team. amanda, and rachel, top-notch. of course john walters giving you the latest on sports and brad edwards manning the weather center, no. i'm talking about woi management. you had our ad for two days, gentlemen. hell, you had my monies fo six days. (laughter) and one hour, one hour before taping you suddenly said hey, it might be too confusing for your viewers, really? both of them? i happen to know you haven't won a local emmy in ten years. want to touch mine? (cheers and applause) i know what happened here, folks. you clearly saved a phone
call ordering you to shut colbert down from one of the other six shadowy superpacs that are trying to muss nell on our rightful place as the official unconnected pro perry superpac. well, i don't know who you normally deal with, but woi-abc 5, you are [bleep] with the wrong people. (cheers and applause) >> stephen: you hear that? you hear that? (cheers and applause) yes, you can hear that now. colbert superpac is not some small potatoes business that will just sit there and take it we're not curley's furniture on army post road where prices have been great since 1948. by the way, if you are going to sit there and just take t you cannot do any better than curlly's selection of leather recliners. colbert superpac is 155,000 strong, baby. hear us roar. (cheers and applause)
besides-- besides, you say my ad was confusing. but you know what i find confusing, you wouldn't take our money to run our ad during a 5:00 news commercial break but on the 10:00 news you reported on it for free. >> stephen colbert has purchased ad space in iowa to promote a write-in campaign for perry. but spelled with an "a" instead of an "e" >> a storm is gathering over iowa. >> colbert won approval from the federal election committee to set up a superpac in his name. which means can raise unlimited amounts of money and funnel it into campaign ads. >> stephen: thanks, amanda, great report. now over to brad with the weather-- no, wait! stay mad! clearly someone needs to get to the bottom of this corruption. someone on the inside. like the intrepid woi reporter katie eastman who has the courage to tackle the tough issues.
my guest tonight is a feminist icon and the subject of a new hbo documentary. and it's only 75% as long as documentaries about men. please welcome gloria steinham. (cheers and applause) gloria, good to see you again. how are you doing. >> very good. >> stephen: i don't have to introduce you, you are a feminist icon. >> no, no, no,. >> stephen: no, you are, you are a feminist icon. there are people that wear pictures of you around their neck. >> but icon is really dangerous because then you get an iconoclast. it's not a good idea wz. >> stephen: people attack you for being an icon and here we go. >> okay, okay i'm ready. >> stephen: this documentary is gloria in her own words. why do you need to express yourself in your own words? are you misinterpreted by other people? >> probably. and probably that will go right on because it is in my
own words. but it's just more intimate, i think. because you-- well, here's what happens. they ask me questions and i tried to answer as honestly as i could. and then they created a documentary around it. so it's kind of like jumping off a cliff, you know. and it turned out amazingly well. >> it's a great documentary. >> it really is a window into a time when sexism existed. (laughter) but now everything's equal. there's spanks for men now. >> there are, i didn't know that. >> there r there are spanks for men, trust me. >> stephen: where do you see the feminist movement existing now? >> well, actually, the thing that concerns me about the documentary is that people look at it and see where we have been for 20 or 30 or 40
years and how much we have done. we've done a lot. because now we know that say women can do what men can do, most folk was agree with that. >> absolutely. >> stephen: but we don't -- >> but we don't know that men can do what women can do. >> stephen: we cannot have the babies. >> no. and therefore-- . >> stephen: we can to the have the babiment i have talked to a lot of doctors. >> thansd's why it would be great if men spent that much more than half the time caring for the children because women have spent a year or whatever, you know-- . >> stephen: nine months. i don't know what species are you from but nine months where i come from. >> oh, so, nobody nursed you? >> stephen: no, no, no. i was-- i had formula. (laughter) >> stephen: i'm a child of the '60s. >> that explains. >> stephen: so men should share half the duty plus nine months that would even things out. >> yeah, a lot of that is logic.
lodgea lodge sick in the eye of the lodgician but it is really important, that kids grow up knowing that men can be as loving and nurturing as women can. >> stephen: i thought the role of the father was to take his emotion and stuff it down as much as can so it comes out inappropriately at thanksgiving dinner. (laughter) >> what we are talking about is a revolution and not a reform. >> gloria steinham is the most visible symbol of the women's movement. >> you understand it is not a role exchange. we're not trying to do to men what men have done to us. we're trying to humanize both roles. >> every generation has its own name. >> more than a third of this is women under 25 years old. >> people who empower other people. >> susan b. anthony said our job is not to make young women grate, it's to make them ungrateful so they keep going.
we're to the going to stop. >> stephen: if there was one thing that you could tell to younger women today who it not experience the feminist movement of the '60s and the '70s, one exam pev-- example of what happened then that doesn't happen any more that changed because of the feminist movement, what would it be, what would you shock them with. >> there are a lot of things in the movie that will you see. >> stephen: we don't have time for the whole movie right now. >> but there were restaurants in which women could not be seated or could not go at lunchtime. when we got married we lost most of our civil rights, our names, our credit ratings, our legal domicile and basically we thought that our position was due to nature or you know, fraud or god. i don't know-- freud. >> stephen: -- envy, nothing to be envious by the way. it's really a burden. i have heard you say-- it
is. (applause) >> stephen: i have heard you say that you were uncomfortable being perceived of as pretty, like the pretty feminist, why? >> well, it has to do with being identified by your outsides not your insides. so women who were pretty, people said oh they just succeeded because they were pretty. women who were not pretty whatever that means, they said oh, she is succeeding because she couldn't get a man so we all basically had the same problem of being identified by our outsides instead of our hearts and minds and so on. >> stephen: but the fact is -- >> that still goes on. >> stephen: but the fact is you're pretty. >> well, you're pretty too. >> stephen: i've been waiting the whom interview for that. (laughter) i can't believe i had to wait six minutes. gloria, thank you so much. >> thank you. >> stephen: gloria steinham. the documentary, gloria, in her own words premiers monday night on hbo. we'll be right back. (cheers and applause)
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