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tv   The Daily Show With Jon Stewart  Comedy Central  January 19, 2012 9:00am-9:30am PST

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from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show with jon stewart." captioning sponsored by comedy central [theme music playing] [cheering and applause]
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>> jon: welcome to "the daily show." my name is jon stewartment we've got a good one for you tonight. thank you. our guest tonight, oh, you're going to like, this our gust tonight, you're going to like, this new new york "the time of s column nest joe nocera. we're going to yell and throw things. i've been hearing about this sopa, sopa. sopa this, sopa that. i'm like, i don't know what you're talking about. then it hit me. there's an easy way to find out, the old laptop. [laughter] so i'll just look it up. >> wikipedia, of course, one of the most popular sites online. it's blacked out today for 24 hours. wikipedia and others are going dark. [laughter] [cheering and applause]
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>> jon: mahurin. mama. >> wikipedia's gone dark. what do they expect us to do, go to the library? like a common masturbator. what is this, 2009? but i had to find out about sopa. and with wikipedia down, i had no choice but to turn to a notoriously unreliable source... sorry. the news. >> texas representative lamar smith introduced a bill in the house called the stop online piracy act. it's called sopa. the bill is designed to keep web sites from posting copyrighted material illegally. and it would allow the american government to actually shut down web sites that do this.
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>> jon: what? shut 'em down? that's a little draconian, although to be fair, according to lawyers that have contacted us frequently all day, it doesn't shut down your web site and remove it from the internet. it just makes it so that people cannot in any way access the web site. so it's sort of like coming up with plan to prevent teen pregnancy that includes filling penises with cement. [laughter] they're still there. your penis is still there. just nobody can get at it. now, of course, as of now, everybody is thinking that was a ridiculous rule that. provision has been scaled back. there are still a couple of somewhat troubling issues, though. >> individuals who stream copyrighted material could face criminal prosecution and prison time. >> if you run an internet site, five years in prison for posting say ten pieces of copyrighted music.
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>> whoa. that's rough. you know what, how can i express that? let me see if i can put this in more dramatic terms. if you stream copyrighted music, you could go to jail for five years. [dramatic music playing] [cheering and applause] dramatic chipmunk is right. rest easy. the people who wrote it and are supporting it are experts. you can stop worrying, right? bill supporter representative mel watts. >> from my perspective just as an old country boy, and, you know, this is the only way i can understand this complex stuff, we need parallels on the virtual... in the virtual world to what we have in the real world world, and i think this bill draws the appropriate balance. >> jon: you have no [bleeped] idea what they're talking about.
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you said you don't understand. he said. [cheering and applause] that's okay. don't worry about it. you're only... i wouldn't worry about it. you don't have to think about it too much. you're only the ranking member of the intellectual property subcommittee. hey, does anyone on these committees charge with regulating the internet understand how any of this internet stuff works? >> i'm not a nerd. >> i am not a nerd. >> i'm just not enough of a nerd. >> maybe we ought to ask some nerds what this thing really does. >> let's have a hearing, bring in the nerds. [laughter] >> jon: really? nerds? i think actually the word you're looking for is "experts." to enlighten you so your laws don't backfire and break the internet. [cheering and applause] and by the way, when did congress turn into ogre. by the way, i'm being told that the use of that clip is an
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intellectual property issue. now, let me address for a little bit not the lawmakers, but the people out there who are stealing copyrighted material, because that is a real issue, especially for struggling artists trying to make a living. these people who pirate clips of copyrighted material for their own financial gain are parasites. feeding on the work of others so they may thrive, and i know everyone is rightly concerned about the artists who created the material. but not enough is said about the damage this does to the artists parents, company, owners, masters, the viacoms or the times warner or the newscorps or disney. who besides their legal divisions have no one to speak for them. you know, when i see a greedy, free-loading stooge who lacks the capacity to create his own original content and steals from
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others and rationalizes it by claiming fair use, it makes me [bleeped] sick. one could only speculate what basing your success around such a shady business practice could do to a person over a period of say 13 years. my guess is it would somehow accelerate the aging process, rendering the person... [laughter] [applause] my god. and that's when i smoked. makes you long for a world where people respected the works of others. i can only imagine what that world would be like. ♪ imagine all the people wait, no, no, no, no, no! even as a joke we don't have john lennon copyright money. by the way, if you post any of
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this on youtube, you will be hunted down and sued. it makes no sense. for more on this sopa bill, we go to our newest and youngest correspondent, jessica williams. jessica, thank you for joining us. [cheering and applause] >> i can't talk, jon, i'm scouting the next freight train to anywhere-town, just trying the keep one step ahead of johnny law. >> jon: jessica, why are you in trouble with the law? >> sopa, jon. i'm an infringer, a song smuglier, a copy-rat, a red-handed video lifter. i uploaded a video. i'm young john, it's what we do. we upload thing. ♪ all the single ladies all the single ladies ♪ all the single ladies all the single ladies ♪ man, that was a mistake. i mean, i look good, but that was a mistake. >> jon: i don't understand. they would arrest you for singing beyonce in your pajamas?
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>> oh, no, it's not that. didn't you see the tv in this t background. it was tuned into an episode of "newhart." dammit, you have [bleeped] me for the last time, bob newhart. >> jon: is that really a copyright violation? >> of course, why would anyone buy a "newhart" d.v.d. when they can see my video of "newhart" blurry with no volume for free. >> jon: jessica, don't go. this is only your second assignment. we have lawyers here who can help you. >> i sure do appreciate that, jon, but there's no room in this rotten world for a bum palooka like me. besides, jon, you have wyatt and aasif and the twins to take care of. you know they're growing up so fast. hey, give 'em a hug for me, would ya? and on clear night, tell them to stair up at the big yellow moon, because i'll be looking up at it, too.
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hey, jon, i left something in your pocket for do you remember me by. >> jon: half a locket. >> uh-huh. [laughter] >> jon: i'll wear it forever. you'll wear the other half. >> what other half? [laughter] >> jon:, the half you wear so when we find each other again and put the two pieces back together again... >> oh, no, jon, there's no other half. >> jon: we each get one, it symbolizes no matter how far apart we are... >> oh, no, i only brought one half. see ya. >> jon: bye. wheeeeeeeeeeee!
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we know, mitt romney's strength is his brilliant, detail-oriented business mind >> anyone making under $200,000 a year, we'll eliminate all taxation on interest dividends and take the corporate rate from 35 to 29. the plan i put together is 59 different action steps. >> jon: 59 action steps! because 60 would be like how many [bleeped] steps do you need? and 58 would be, where's your plan, man? all these numbers right at the top of his head. it's like there's no question about money that can stump mitt romney. >> governor, will you release your income plan record.
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>> i hadn't planned on releasing tax records. the law requires us to release all of our assets, if that's been the tradition, i'm not opposed to doing that. time will tell. but i anticipate that most likely i'm going to get asked to do that around the april time period and i'll keep that open. >> jon:, i mean, you know, certainly i don't intend in any way to be holding up the process. i certainly would when i'm asked and the question -- oh, my god, batman. [laughter] [cheering and applause] all right. sorry. just give us the big picture. what percentage of your income do you pay in taxes. the top rate is 39%. man of your means, your accountant is probably high 20s and maybe 30%. while you're telling me, i'll have a sip of this hot cup of coins. >> it's closer to the 15% rate than anything. [laughter]
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>> jon: i think i pulled a tongue muscle. that's not an easy spit take. so mitt romney pays the same tax rate as the guy who drives that [bleeped] bus behind him. how's romney pull that off. >> my last ten years, i've... my income comes overwhelmingly from investments made in the past rather than ordinary income or rather than earned annual income. and then i get speakers fees from time to time, but not very much. >> jon: [laughing] of course not, who would pay mitt romney to speak. even when he practices speaking in front of the mirror, his reflection falls asleep. it's probably not very much money. >> romney earned nearly $275,000 in speaking fees in 2010. [audience reacts] [laughter] [cheering and applause]
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>> jon: don't worry, these were licked by mario batali before i put them in my mouth. $375,000, thousand, in speaking fees in one 12-month period. most americans would think that is a lot of money. i bet. i wonder how much money i'd bet. >> 10,000 bucks. a 10,000 dollar bet. >> jon: who are you? i was thinking like $20. a hyundai at best. you know what, mitt, you're a rich man. we all know it. cut the crap. >> the great middle class, the 80% to 90% of us. >> i know what it's like to worry whether or not you'll get fired. there were a couple times whether i wondered whether i would get a pink slip. i'm also unemployed. [laughter] >> jon: that's not you.
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this is you, front and center in the yearbook photo of thai beta jackoff at douche university. you're very, very rich. stop pretending, stop running from it. and just own it. just come out of your obscenely large mahogany paneled closet. america, i've got something to tell you. i am flamingly wealthy. letting us see who you truly are can be scary. but it gets better. we'll be right back. [cheering and applause]
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>> jon: welcome back my guest tonight. he's a business columnist for the any "the new york times" and he's the coauthor of the best selling book "all the devils are here." please welcome back joe nocera. nice to see you again. >> nice to see you. [cheering and applause] >> how are you? >> i'm good. i'm good. >> you are here on a fine night. as it turns out, we're here to discuss this mitt romney issue. it's come to light that his tax
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rate is around 15% not including a little bit, a trifle that he makes from speaking fees. >> i saw that. >> it speaks to the distinction in our economy between capital and investment and work. >> that it does. >> and i maintain that work is not as valued somehow. somehow investment in capital has taken the lead in our economy from work. is that correct? >> yes, in a word. >> thank you, you can go. >> i pass. financial engineering is at the heart of what wall street now does, what it has become, and private equity firms of which mr. romney ran for quite a while are at the heart of that. you know, they buy up companies. that's the investment. they fiddle around with them. they borrow against them. they lay off workers quite
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often. they pull out money for their fees, and then they bring them back to the public market and, if everything goes well, they make a fortune, if everything doesn't go well, they still make a fortune because they've taken out all the fees. and because the money they invested is investment capital, what they pay themes is a capital gain. >> jon: capital gain is taxed at... >> 15%. >> jon: no matter how many millions it gets to? >> yeah, that's, that's... yes. that is why, you know, everybody who is in private equity is really mad at mitt romney right now. they're furious. >> jon: because he's shining a light? >> this had been an issue early in the obama administration, should these guys be taxed like everybody else, like warren buffett's secretary. the issue then faded, kind of went away. and now, hey, it's back on the front page again. and it's, gosh, it's such a political issue that newt romney
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thinks... jon newt romney? newt romney is something that's been made in a lab. >> a product of private equity. imagining the next horror movie series. >> jon: here's what makes me upset, and i'm not quite sure to, question whether or not these growth and capital gains have metastasized and got out of balance with their value to the economy, because there is a value to capital and investment and risk and the economy. but to question that is somehow conflated with to question the basic underpinnings of capitalism. to suggest that what they're doing is just very fair, laissez faire, it's just simple rules of the road as they gosh, it doesn't seem correct that that is the case, but to question that, you're suddenly called a socialist for even bringing it up. >> well, that's what's so great about this republican primary and these fights. i mean, that used to be
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completely right. the question that was to be said, oh, well, you don't understand how capitalism works, you don't understand how wall street works. you don't understand how we feed the economy with our capital. now you have a situation where it's not the obama administration that's saying, hey, mitt romney destroys companies, it's his brethren in the republican party. >> jon: right. >> and so the question of whether you can question this anymore i think has changed. >> jon: it seems like it's all fair until the system is gamed on you, and then suddenly... that's the problem i have with a lot of political theories. i don't like gay marriage until suddenly you have a gay child. oh, well i guess they are people. just because they have personal experience, yeah, this is unfair, what's going on around here. it brings us to the second point, which is something you wrote about, regulation. to suggest you want regulation suddenly means you want to strangle and choke off capitalism.
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complex regulation is actually a problem. it needs to be simple. can the governmentñr simply regulate these businesses or are they just outclassed? >> well, they are outclassed today. the analogy i always make is to the 1930s. is there any simpler regulation than going to j.p.m. morgan as we did in the 1930s and said, fellas, i know how to fix your problem. we'll cut you in two. commercial west bank goes over here, investment bank, which we don't care if you go out of business, that's only regulation, one regulation, boom, solved. >> >> jon: that would be your glass beagle. >> that would be your basic. >> jon: and we said let's stop doing this. >> today we have financial crisis, three years ago, but heaven forbid anyone say anything as radical or drastic as hey, let's cut them in two. that will solve the problem. >> the more complex it is, the more people you need to figure it out and the more easily you can fit into nooks and crannies,
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and isn't it complex because the businesses themselves create an almost purposeful complexity. >> yes, that's true. there's at's spect. you said nooks and crannies which is being way too nice. >> jon: i like the you the thomases english muffin thing when i can. >> it allows them to gain the system. they hire smart people and pay them a lot of money and run rings around the regulators. that's the whole deal. that's how it works. of course, you know that. i know you know that. >> jon: i am aware of that. i live right near there. can you stick around for a little bit? i want to talk about bain capital before we go on the thing. more with joe nocera on the webby web. if it's still up. i don't know if we'll be able to see this or porn or anything. we'll be right back. joe no
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