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tv   The Nightly Show With Larry Wilmore  Comedy Central  June 11, 2015 1:40am-2:14am PDT

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pepper cheeseburger. taste it before it's gone. >> that's our show. join us tomorrow at 11:00. but before we go a quick note -- we get a lot of questions here about the show. like how do you find all those clips? are you really that short? or what's that smell? we'll take the time to answer questions on the show here on the air, the ones you've always wanted to know about it. tweet it with
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#jonstewartsaskhole. really? that's what we're doing? they are leaving me with very little dignity. here it is. >> you got to say this is a tough day for rick santorum, campaigning in hamlin, iowa, population 300, and one person shows up at the event for rick santorum. he moves on to dennison doubling his crowd as he goes two people showed up fortioned by media access group at wgbh >> larry: tonightly, the head of the nypd says hiring black cops is tough because so many have criminal records. another reason it's tough? blacks don't want to brutally assault themselves. it makes sense, right? a 15-year-old girl is attacked by the cops and fox news blames the victim. the most shocking part of the
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story? fox news isn't blaming obama. i wonder how that happened. and it is called female viagra approved by the fda the recommended dosage is four times a week at 11:30 p.m. >> ladies and gentlemen, it is boner time, this is the nightly show! captioning sponsored by comedy central [ cheers and applause ] >> larry: yeah. who, yeah, i can feel it, i can feel it man. thank you very much. welcome to the nightly show. oh yeah. that is looking good. larry! larry! larry! thank
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you. i am larry wilmore. man, you know i have tell you guys, i in will never forget how lucky i am to have this show. we have only been on a few months and it's already our 69th episode. oh, yeah! >> larry:. >> larry: what was that? all i said was that it was our 69th episode. >> oh, yeah! >> larry: very mature guys, just because i said 69 -- >> oh, yeah! >> larry: okay. stop that. we have a show to do. >> sorry about that, larry. that was me. >> larry: oh that's our director tremendous, everybody. hey, tremendous. so don't clap for him. that only encourages him. don't worry about it, tremendous. just don't do dre, don't do it anymore. >> i won't, larry you are the boss. >> by the way while we are here we have a bet going on in the control room. what year was the moon landing? i say it was 1970. >> larry: oh come on, man.
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>> space is my thing. are you going to try to stump me in space. it was 1969. >> oh, yes. >> larry: come on. come on! >> >> larry: on to our top story lady viagra, that's right, so you know what the fda is trying to assure a lot more of in the future. 69ing. >> what? nothing? no, oh, yeah. >> you are trying to hard now boss. >> larry: oh, go to hell. go to hell. >> just roll the stupid clip. >> an fda panel on thursday finally recommended the first medication for female sexual dysfunction. >> the ones a day fill dubbed female viagra will help treat women with a sexual desire disorder known to affect roughly one in ten women. >> yeah, get your lady boners primed and female viagra time! >> yeah!
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>> hey hold on. did i just say get your lady boners primed with, it is female viagra time? >> we have a new title holder for the ickiest sentence i have ever said on the show. >> sorry, take me to catheter town, chazz palmintieri your day is done. i still can't believe, i still can't believe my splish splash brian dennehy taking you to brown town is so far down the list. >> get that off get that off. so how is so-called female viagra different from dude viagra? >> viagra 0 works on a erectile dysfunction improving the blood flow to the competent miss, this works on the brain on working on the neural transmitters. >> zoe saldana it doesn't stimulate here but stimulates here? >> me can't relate. me just need here. why me talking like this.
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>> look this is a big deal, currently there are zero drugs on the market that treat sexual dysfunction in women, you know how many there are for men? 26. >> oh, yeah. >> larry: oh come on guys. >> what does that even mean? it doesn't even mean anything. >> all right. look here to help us understand the complexities of this issues are new nightly show special commentary susie essman. >> welcome, suze. >> thanks, larry. >> larry:. >> thanks, larry. i mean i have got one major rob with this new libido drug. why would a woman of my age in god's name would i want my libido back? every dumb thing i ever did in my youth was because i was listening to the deranged little voice in my head telling me i needed to get laid. every hangover every fake orgasm, every time i broke into bill pullman's house so i could hide in his closet while he slept -- >> and this was the nineties, so
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just to be clear, one thing i don't need is my cooter doing jedi mind tricks on me like obi-vaj kenobi. >> larry: uhm you just said obi-vaj kenobi, right? >> yes, i did. >> larry: okay. i just wanted to be clear. i just wanted to be cheer. now there are women who have low libido and miss having sex. that is definitely a thing. >> maybe. check out this quote from a woman in "the new york times" no less. replacing the dread i have for intimacy with desire would be life changing. >> i would think so. all i am saying is if you are literally dreading intimacy maybe there is something else going on. the thing that gets me is this assumption just because you don't want to have sex you have a mental disorder. hey, fellows maybe your wife is not crazy. maybe she just doesn't want to (bleep) you.
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>> larry: good point. >> i am just saying. >> larry: good point. >> have you tried hitting the gym? buying her flowers? having sex that is not just 45 seconds of jackhammering followed by pa sweaty apology? the fda rejected this thing twice before and they might have been right. listen to these side effects. >> this is a drug you take every day and then go out and have your daily routine. so if you pass out while driving a car, if you pass out while you are taking your kids to school and hit your head i mean this can be serious and unexpected. >> a sex pill that might make you pass out? >> which doctor is endorsing this besides dr. huxtable? >> larry: wow. solid cosby burn. that's right (bleep). even our commentaries haven't forgotten about you. >> #02: you betcha and finally i just want to say, i know people think this is a feminist issue like you said, larry sex pills have been out there for
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men. men have 26 and women have zero which is also the orgasm ratio. one of the groups fighting for approval fda approval of this wonder drug is called even the score. all right. they have done a great job of framing this in terms of orgasm equality. but because i had free time on my hands because of all the banging i do i found out that even the core is just a pr campaign funded by the drug company that makes this pill! it is like if your meth dealer tries to tell you you needed to buy his meth because you suffered from having too too many teeth. >> the whole thing is just spin. >> larry: that is fascinating. so it sounds like this was about win for science or feminism but just for branding? >> and for women who love to fall asleep while they are driving. >> larry: oh. that makes sense. that makes sense. >> look maybe there is a great female sex pill out there but i don't know if this is it. and besides, i don't want a pill that increases desire. i want a pill that increases
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satisfaction. >> larry: that makes sense. >> okay? >> larry: that makes sense. >> i mean, hello. >> larry: that makes sense. >> for once i could be the one orgasming after 45 seconds and fall asleep and then he could be the one possiblying me because i am snoring so loud. >> larry: seuss situate essman, everyone! we will be right back! >> [ electronic dance music playing ] feel like a kid again with dunkin's new oreo and chips ahoy! flavored iced coffees. classic cookie flavor in every sip. america runs on dunkin'.
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>> larry: welcome back. okay, so i want to update you on a story we covered on monday. it involved this guy. >> yeah. >> yeah. that's my boy. that is -- can i just see that one more time? that barrel roll. go back. oh oh. very nice. i like the -- i didn't know barrel guy could do that. that's -- remember this guy is a
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cop who barrel rolled his way to early retirement after -- right? that's what he did. after pen pinning a girl on the ground for way too long after a pool party. now that the dust has settled it is time for the media to blame the victim. all aboard the victim blaming train. >> whoo whoo. >> next stop she might have deserved it. ladies and gentlemen, i give you megyn kelly. >> the girl was no saint either. he told her to leave and she continued to linger. >> larry: she was no saint? >> he told her to leave and she -- listen. if that's how you should treat people who over stay their welcome my thanksgiving dinner guests would leave a lot less happy. we finished dessert, out gosh darn it. why are you people still here? ah. now unfortunately this kind of thing is not new. i mean people love to paint
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black people of violence at not saint, trayvon martin, michael brown, this young girl in texas. here is talk more about this phenomenon. our own mike. mike. welcome, mike. so what are your thoughts on, this mike? >> i decided to become a saint larry. >> i am going to do it. >> larry: okay. that's kind of drastic, mike. i mean -- well, first of all you are not even catholic., no but i am black. and the way things are going, man it's only a matter of time until a cop shoots me or whoops my ass. >> larry: true. good point, good point. >> but by then i will be the first victim of police brutality who was literally a saint. >> larry: okay. it's a bit of an extreme plan. but i mean you know saints have to perform miracles, right? what are yours? >> what come on, larry. >> miracles? please.
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i got mad miracles. first of all i am a black man in my 40s and i haven't been shot by the cops once. >> miracle. >> larry: come on, man. that's impressive but it is not amir cal. >> not for you maybe. if you are mariah carey's color. it's not the same. a little bit different. i am dark, i am dark larry. i am deep africa dark. >> larry: i get it, i get it. but that actually sounds like a coffee i had this morning. deep africa dark. it was very tasty. >> delicious isn't it. >> okay. that's partly amir cal, what else? >> on monday i invite add bunch of my black friends over to watch the hockey game and they all showed up. >> miracle. >> larry: wait, wait wait. >> that samir cal. >> larry: no. it is very impressive, we are getting warmer. okay? anymore?
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>> well this one is incredible right? yesterday i stepped out of the studio right and i went to hail a cab da. >> larry: oh wait, wait, no way you hailed a cab and they stopped for you? you are right that samir cal. i will give you credit for that one. >> of course they didn't stop, dollar tri. i am trying to be a saint, not black jesus. come on. >> larry: you know black jesus is redundant, don't you? >> of course. >> larry: light skin brother can get it too, man. >> true story. >> larry: i know, it is a true story. >> so all the cabs passed me by. >> larry: all the cabs. >> all of them gone but then a brother pulled up in a greyhound bus and felt sorry for me and took me home. >> true story. >> larry: no way. >> miracle. >> larry: okay. that one actually samir cal. okay. all right. granted you have one miracle. i will give you that but i don't know if you factored this in. you know saints have to be dead right? >> well, i know but it will be great. i will be in heaven with saint
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biggy and saint tupac. we will be watching some white person on fox say, well you know that mike yard, he was no saint. and some other white person will have to say, well, actually -- >> larry: nice. i like how you did that. saint mike, everybody. we will be right back. >>
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comedian kerry coddett. [ cheers and applause ] >> larry: also associate professor of medicine at nyu langone medical center, dr. roshini raj. >> and comedian and host of quake's house on wbls radio earthquake. [ cheers and applause ] >> larry: okay. now last week an fda panel we talked about this earlier finally recommended the first medication for female sexual dysfunction. and there are like 26 male enhancement drugs on the market. this is the first one for females. why do you think we are so obsessed with male boners over female desire? >> i think people are more obsessed with boners because you need a boner to have sex but you need that to make a party happen. you don't need me to be involved to happen but if you bought me the link dwi any weeny that is not going to happen so the dude have to take care of your part so it a happens. >> she raises a great point because for men, sex is really about, and the drugs are about getting drug flow to that area,
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exactly. >> larry: we can have sex doing anything, it doesn't matter. >> you can be mad, sad. >> for women it is much more of a mental thing and that's why the drug targets brain activity. >> larry: does it trick women? >> yes. >> larry: what does it do? i don't understand it. >> i wouldn't call it tricking but alters some brain chemicals and neurotransmitters like antidepressants do. >> that is beautiful, cook me breakfast and get in bed and just get naked and wait. he will be there any minute. oh that is the drug, just cook them breakfast. >> no, no. put it in the breakfast. >> oh my gosh. >> and we should be clear it takes four weeks to kick in. >> larry: four weeks? >> wow. >> you need to take it for four -- >> that is the slowest acting drug ever. >> i need four minutes. >> the slowest date rape drug
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ever. >> >> they could do a whole series. >> in terms of inappropriateness. okay. there is something inherently wrong about not wanting to have sex. asking for a friend. >> yes. >> really? >> i think so. i think sex is a basic physiological need. >> like is is there something wrong if you don't feel like eating today? >> sure. >> i think you should want to have sex. you should want to. >> especially if i am married to you. >> right. >> i am married to you and -- >> we are not married. the way you looked at me i was very concerned about that. >> i am just telling you. i think it is important to point out not every woman who doesn't want to have sex necessarily has a disorder that needs a drug. >> larry: that's what i am saying. >> it is for women whose lack of desire is causing them to stress and they are not happy about it. >> larry: and what does it actually do? does it create desire or does it -- is it just like a serotonin? >> it changes dope dopamine levels
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and affects search to nine levels and well and found people who take it have more sexual desire but it wasn't very dramaticness the way viagra may be. they had basically on average .. one extra sexual satisfying event per month. >> larry: just one? >> one. >> larry: you have to take this all the time? >> yeah -- >> and you might get one thing out of it? >> just take them shopping. that works. take them shopping, man. >> what i am saying it is not a magic bullet but it opens up the conversation. >> larry: don't say magic bullet. okay. while we are talking about relationships, i don't know if you saw this she recently got married her husband took her last name and social media just went nuts over this. anybody -- you think what do you think of a man take a ago woman's name? >> if you take oprah winfrey's last name. i would be mr. winfrey. >> larry: that name is okay.
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>> i love mr. winfrey. there ain't nothing wrong with that name. >> >> do you ladies see any issues with the name thing? >> i have been married for ten years. >> do you have your husband's name. >> i do not have my husband's name. i never really honestly ever considered it seriously. i mean he will bring it up now and then in a fight. and you didn't take my name. a little bit. you know, i had my own identity. i had a medical career a media career, i was like -- >> you are not hear are rid. >> i am not married but whoever covers the checks that's the last name. and okay. she has money and that's fine. >> larry: okay. let's do. this let's play a little game. these are actually names here.
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we didn't make these names up. these are actual names, okay? and you tell me who should take whose name. mr. don worth or ms. shuffle bottom. >> shuflt bottom. dumb worth is a better last name. >> yes. so go from shuffle bottom to dumb worth? >> yes. >> i could be ms. dumb worth. >> these are real names. >> larry: ms. hog wood or mr. heartbeat. >> heartbeat! >> hardwood. >> i think she should become hardwood. >> larry: okay. mr. clutterbuck or ms. bottom. >> bottom. >> larry:. >> ms. bottom. bottom is pretty good. >> yeah. >> yeah. >> that could be a good thing, actually. >> clutterbuck can take bottom. >> just take her name. >> larry: all right. mr. bone set or ms. nutters.
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>> ms. nutters. >> sorry, mr. bone set. >> larry: okay. we have time for one more. this is a good one. let me go to this one. okay. ms. -- this is a true name. ms. dorkoff or mr. hofacker. >> >> audience? >> hofacker! >> larry: it has to be hofacker. sorry ms. dorkoff! we will be right back! >> if you live in the new york city area or are planning to visit, grab some free tickets to upcoming taping of the nightly show. showshowcased monday through thursday. for complete details go to the
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