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tv   The Daily Show  Comedy Central  April 28, 2017 1:40am-2:11am PDT

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i'll keep my eyes open. - the cough medicine problem used to also run rampant in neighboring middle park elementary. but they took action, ridded their entire town of cough medicine, and what we see now is a happier school 100% cough medicine free. [all hacking and coughing] - boys, i want to congratulate you on what is perhaps the finest piece of student television i have ever seen. not only did you get all the students and myself off of cough medicine, but you got a 22 in the ratings! - 22 people? all right! - you wanted to see me, mr. meryl? - oh, yes, craig. it appears that the ratings for your show are down significantly. - gee, what a coincidence. - i wonder w-w-why. - you need to know how important ratings are, craig, so i'm going to suspend you from school and request that you have your testicles removed surgically. - ha-ha, in your face, craig! - you boys are approved for 27 new shows. i want you to come up with an even better idea
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than the cough medicine story. get to it! - nobody...has any ideas? - this sucks. i don't want to keep having to come up with ideas for shows all the time. it hurts my head. - dude...bail? - i think bail. - bail. - yep, b-b-b-bail. captioning by captionmax
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>> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show"! thank you so much for tuning in! i'm trevor noah! my guest tonight cover donald trump's presidential run for ncb news and msnbc. katy tur is going to be here, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) so let's get the show started. obama's back and so are the haters. >> former president barack obama is getting a little heat tonight. the former president agreed to give a lucrative speech to wretch firm cantor fitzgerald. mr. obama will be paid about $400,000 but many people are calling the former president's
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move hypocritical because in the past he has been very critical of wall street and the financial industry -- >> trevor: paperboi, paperboi, all about the paperboi! ( laughter ) obama's getting $400,000 to be a keynote speaker. we'll probably give a very important policy speech entitled "the four boats i'm gonna buy." ( laughter ) i know people say it weakens public trust when politicians cash in immediately after leaving office. at least obama waited until he left office, unlike this guy who's using the white house like an a.t.m. machine. i agree the system must change, but it doesn't change with obama, all right? people are, like, why doesn't he not accept the money? that (bleep). that (bleep). no. no. ( cheers and applause ) i'm sorry. the first black president must
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be the first one to not take money off us? no, no, no, my friend. he can't be the first of everything. (bleep) that and (bleep) you. yeah, i said it. ( cheers and applause ) no! make that money, obama. make that money. but obama should know better! what about the clintons? yeah, well, the clintons, it's already done. well let him already done it as well and you guys can start (bleep) the first white president to not take the money. (bleep) you. obama make that money. make that money. ( applause ) instead of focusing on how obama can make so much on wall street for a speech, maybe we should be asking why wall street has so much money to give people for a speech. the loose regulations, intensive lobbying and favorable -- the truth is we can't get into this. there is too much going on we have to talk about today. unfortunately, whenever that happens we have a perfect
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segment on the show called "ain't nobody got time for that." ( applause ) all right, let's get straight into it. recently berkeley has been in the middle of a fiewj free speech controversy. if you think obama made people mad with his planned speech, ann coulter is like hold my beer. >> ann coulter furious at uc berkeley for rescheduling her speech scheduled for tonight. >> the university forced to sacrifice the schedule for the free speech movement. >> american citizens have constitutional rights. >> trevor: why won't they let me say i'm a nazi? why? why? look, man, she's right about the free speech thing. even though ann coulter is clearly trolling and doing this for the publicity of not letting her speak, they should just let
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her speak because you realize she doesn't actually want to speak. she wants to be stopped from speaking. yeah, it's like your friend in a fight who's like, hold many me back! hold me back! no, seriously, hold me back, i don't want to get my ass kicked. hold me back! the truth is a side effect of free speech is there will always be hate speech. if you ban one, you risk banning the other. you might call ann coulter hate speech but what's to stop jeff sessions from calling believe believe hate speech? if there is one thing america has given to the world it's the idea of absolute free speech. which is why, be respectful, people, ann coulter is joining us now via satellite because, ann, we want to hear from you about your thoughts on freedom of speech but i'm sorry we do not have the time because kim jong un has nukes! ( cheers and applause )
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kim jong un has nukes and donald trump has a bus. >> today mr. trump summoned all 100 u.s. senators to the white house to hear the latest on the threat posed by north korea's nuclear program. >> a field trip to the white house, one by one, nearly every senator on capitol hill loading up on buses headed to that classified briefing on north korea and it's nuclear threat. ( laughter ) >> trevor: i'm sorry, i can't believe donald trump made 100 senators take a bus to his place. instead of one person just going to their place. like, i'm actually disappointed trump used a regular bus. it would have been such a power move if he had used the pussy-grabbing bus. remember that one? that would have been amazing. just had them all there, like, you remember how you all thought this was going to break me? who's the winner now? pussies on the bus get grabbed
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grabbed grabbed, grabbed grabbed grabbed, grabbed grabbed grabbed! ( laughter ) by the way, we have actual footage to have the riding the bus to see trump and it is really sad to see ted cruz still hasn't made friends. >> this seat's taken. >> you can't sit here. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: that poor guy. by the way, turns out apparently this whole thing was just a publicity stunt that, according to senators of both parties, had no real information in it. yeah. donald trump just called them there. i wouldn't be surprised that he just brought them to go, like, did you guys know there are two koreas? it's a lot more complicated than we thought, folks. a lot more complicated, a lot
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more. ( laughter ) now, we could spend all day on how dumb the senators looked riding on that bus but, honestly, there is no time because there is one story that will affect all americans whether they like it or not, trump's new tax plan. >> the trump administration unveiled what it's calling the biggest tax overall in u.s. history. >> it contains big tax cuts for corporations. >> this tax plan helps those who are wealthy and those who are running corporations or corporations themselves. >> trevor: paperboi paperboi, all about that paperboi! that's right, donald trump cutting taxes for the rich, even though he said this -- >> do you believe in raising taxes on the wealthy? >> i do. i do, including myself. i do. i don't mind paying for tax, i'll be honest with you, i don't mind paying more tax. >> trevor: you know whenever donald trump says "i'll be honest with you," he's lying, or when he doesn't s.a.t., either one of those two. ( laughter ) look, there's a lot of stuff in
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this tax plan that will benefit corporations and the super wealthy including donald trump. in fact, almost specifically donald trump. just to take one example, in the current tax code, there is something called "the alternative minimum tax" or a.m.t., and, thanks to the a.m.t., donald trump had to pay the federal government $31 million in 2005. that's the one and only year that we know about his federal taxes. so without a.m.t., trump would have been $31 million richer. well, guess what he's planning to get rid of? yeah. you know, donald trump, like, he doesn't even try to hide his shadiness. it's just blatantly out there in the open. i always used to wonder which criminals got caught because of fingerprints, right? because we all know gloves. it's not some high-tech device only super criminals have access to. i thought, why kind of person gets caught because of
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fingerprints? now i know. at this point, he's not even trying to hide how being president is making him bank. honestly, i'm surprised the plan didn't include a deduction for unflattering golf pants. we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause ) to its roots.
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( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." we come to the end of "the daily
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show"'s alabama week where we begin to understand why the deep southern state is the place in america that likes "the daily show" least, which is a nice way to say they hate us the most. for our final night of alabama week we turn to our born and raised alabama correspondent, roy wood, jr., everybody! ( cheers and applause ) >> i'm not dabbing you, man, you spent the whole date dissing my state, man. >> trevor: we haven't been disk your state. we have been trying to learn and understand why alabamians don't watch our show. >> trevor, it's a red state! they wouldn't mess with a black president. do you think they want to (bleep) with an african host? >> trevor: that's a fair point. >> easy to stereotype but alabama is more complex than you think which is why i wanted to go to alabama to show people a sight they've never seen before and also pick up mail from my momma's house. here's my report. ♪
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♪ it's no secret i'm from alabama. i've seen everything the state has to offer. north birmingham, west birmingham, even way down south birmingham. but to help me find another side of alabama, i connected with my old friend ruben who's a fan of every major league baseball team and i think he's been on a tv show or two. yeah, he's kind of famous around these parts. >> i want to tell you how big a fan i am of yours! >> "the daily show" roy not so much. i'm down here trying to find a heart of alabama. >> the heart of alabama is much bigger than birmingham, but i've got to get out of the city, give you a little taste of real alabama. >> ain't going to the country. >> look at me, man, you will be
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fine in the country. >> you got people in the country? >> i got folk in the country. up in the national forest. a guy up there. >> you got a dude in the far est? >> an environmentalist. >> a real environmentalist? >> he can debunk some of the ideas people have about alabama. >> am i wrong for being nervous as a black man in the country. do you know who was at that party? a cell phone signal. ruben was paying for the ribs, so i guess i had the to go. let me go get the banana pudding. i'm fixing to get shot in the woods. might as well enjoy my last meal. alabama as beaches, lakes, forest. wild add (bleep). i spent the day with environmental activist jim smith. >> we're in an alabama hardwood forest. i would like for my grandchildren to be where they
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could see what a hardwood forest looks like. >> paper companies decimated alabama's forests and jim's spent the last 46 years trying to preserve them. >> i understand paper companies have to make money cutting the forest but limit the acreage cut. >> so you're trying to conserve alabama forests because of nature and wildlife? >> i'm just out here because big foot's out here. because this is his home and his habitat. >> i'm on a dirt road. >> mm-hmm. >> in the middle of nowhere. >> mm-hmm. >> because you want to look for big foot? >> yep, mm-hmm. >> great, let's do it. >> okay. >> so this champion of science is doing it to protect big foot, but not just one big foot. >> i actually believe that there's about two species. there's a white one -- >> there's a white one? >> oh, yeah. >> when did he start coming
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around? >> ah, back around thanksgiving of last year. >> after the election. >> right after the the election. >> after the election, probably want to make the forest great again, don't he? okay, i can suspend disbelief for a minute. i think big foot is made up but this time last year i thought trump was a joke, too. >> everybody that's into big foot's heard the rock tapping. i believe he left these for me to learn his code. sometimes you will hear a tap back. >> panda, panda! ahhh! spent all day in the forest but didn't see a thing even though i was using big foot's favorite snacks. he likes jack links. i saw the commercials. one or two pieces. >> two. >> it was getting cold. i was running out of jerky. i wasn't sure how much longer i could pretend to believe in big foot. maybe i was missing the bigger picture. maybe this guy had ideas how industry and conservation could
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work together without chopping down every tree. >> once you thin a forest as this forest seems to be then the trees left actually grow larger and when you cut it the second time you actually make more off your timber than what you would if you cut it while it's all small. >> that's actually more of a solution than most environmentalists would give you and that's when i realized this dude is a genius, using fake news to save the environment. we could do this everywhere! we could protect the waterways to save the loch ness monster. >> mm-hmm. >> or protect a woman's right to abortion because she's pregnant with the bat boy. >> could do that. >> i guess i did learn something out here in the forests of alabama. forests are beautiful, man and deserves to be preserved and god bless you for fighting for it. >> well, thank you. >> even if it is for something that probably don't exist. >> yeah. >> do you think big foot's an alabama or auburn fan? >> i hope alabama. can you imagine what type of football team we would have if
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we had all big foot on it? ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: roy wood, jr., everybody. we'll be right back. busch. as crisp and cold as a mountain stream. it has the same great taste it's always had. even the same sound. [sfx: buschhhhh] [sfx: buschhhhh]
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( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight is an ncb news correspondent and msnbc anchor, please welcome katy tur! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> trevor: welcome to the show, katy. >> thanks for having me. >> trevor: first and foremost, congratulations on being awarded the cronkite award for reporting on the trump campaign. congratulations. ( cheers and applause ) >> thank you. >> trevor: when you look back on your reporting during the trump campaign, do you think we're in an age where information in and around what trump is doing disswads voters from making a decision that would positively impact donald trump? >> i think that donald trump voters are not going to the dissuaded be by somebody in the very fake news media.
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>> trevor: wow. wow. >> no, well, listen, i think that -- it's just a hard question because i would talk to supporters on the campaign trail and lay out some of the inconsistencies of his rhetoric and promises and ask them about some of the most controversial things he said and either they wouldn't hear about the controversiys, would brush him off or just gave him so much more credit than another politician, and they believed in him in a way that they didn't believe in anyone else and the policies. so when you said he's inconsistent, they would just tell me they were okay with it because at a figured, when he got there, he would make the best decision possible for that moment in time, and they would allow him to do whatever he wanted. >> trevor: that is such a strange concept to me. you got to see it firsthand because a lot of people were watching the campaign from the outside. when you were watching it from the inside, did you get an, inc. lynn and go, oh, i think this
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guy could win? >> yes, all the time. the first moment i thought he could win is his poll numbers didn't tank and he was fine after going after john mccain. >> trevor: right. >> usually it's a sacred thing american military services special being a p.o.w. you don't denigrate somebody in the american service. he did and his poll numbers went up. and i thought this guy defies the laws of gravity. people would wait for hours in the polls and there are stories i don't think are proper or appropriate to tell on tv but you can read about them in my book. ( laughter ) terrible. terrible. >> trevor: let's talk about the intimate relationship we've had with the presidency because i remember watching rallies and he used to point you out from the crowd. >> yeah. >> trevor: he would be like, the fake news -- katy -- that
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must have been strange to have president trump saying that and calling you out. >> i think i got used to it because the very first time i went to a trump rally or any sort of trump i vent, i didn't know him at all. i never met him in my life, he called me out, so he started the whole campaign by calling me out. so it wasn't so unusual by the end. >> that's a really interesting place to be in. let's move forward to the 100 days rapidly approaching. by your argument and by your logic which makes a lot of sense, 100 days doesn't mean anything in the normal way that it does. trump supporters are at, what, 90-odd percent? >> yes, the later fbz "wall street journal" poll says 90% of the voters who voted for him are happy with the way things are going. >> trevor: does the 100 days mean anything to him? >> no, it's an artificial construct and donald trump will point that out but they say he's
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done more than anybody else. his supporters are going to grade him on 1 tow days, not 100 days, on as long as it takes for him to deliver on his promise of jobs jobs jobs. there's one thing that may actually matter is whether or not he creates jobs, and i'm hesitant to say even that matters because he can create the illusion of creating jobs, which is kind of how he's operated so far with his executive orders. >> trevor: in what way? >> he rolled back regulations on the coal industry. will that create thousands of coal industry jobs? probably not. coal industry is not doing well because of automation and new alternate sources of energy, not necessarily because the industry was overregulated. so he is able to go out and signs his executive orders, you've all seen it because you watch msnbc in the middle of the day when he does that exact thing, and it makes it look like he is doing quite a bit.
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>> trevor: yes. >> it's a flurry of activity at the white house and in the oval office every day. >> trevor: if you said to a democrat, hey, this is how you going to try to tackle donald trump in the upcoming election, if his fans won't sway, then what is anything that will affect trump? >> i think the way that you differentiate yourself and the way that you gain support is the way anybody should gain support which is here are my ideas, here is what i think we should do, here is how i will bring back jobs, not this is why this other guy is awful. >> trevor: so don't hate the player, hate the game? >> sure. >> trevor: katy, hope you join us again. >> thank you so much. >> trevor: be sure to watch katy the 2:00 p.m. hour of middl"msnbc live" weekdays. katy tur, we'll be right back


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