tv The Daily Show Comedy Central October 11, 2017 1:35am-2:05am PDT
not that one would miraculously just fall from the sky. - i knew this all too good to be true. - we're associating with these heathens for no reason! - small penis? - the party's over. muslims, jews, and christians are back at each other's throats and israel is once again a place of conflict and turmoil. - please, you have to listen to me! the prophecy actually did come true! - no, it didn't. - yes, it did! - the prophecy was a fat boy with a small penis would one day decorate a cow to look ginger. we should have known a prophecy like this was too impossible to ever come to be. - but that is what happened. it is! tell them, cartman. - no, kyle, you were right. i see now that little lies can cause huge problems. - but it's the truth! - no, it's not, kyle. i have a huge dick. - sorry, boys, but we gotta get to a fight. there's a rumble at the wailing wall. - so it was all for nothing.
the whole time i was eating farts for nothing. - cheer up, kyle, i'm sure this isn't the first time someone who thought they were suffering for humanity was actually just sucking farts. hey, how about we get a little dessert, help cheer you up? [farts] >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. (cheers and applause). >> trevor: welcome to the daily show. thank you so much for tuning in, i'm trevor noah. tonight's guest from the nbc show "superstore" america
ferrara is is here everybody, going to be a fun conversation. but first let's not waste time, the most important story of the day. >> looks like a big change is coming for social media users after years of limiting tweets to 140 characters, twitter is testing out 280 characters. double the current limit. so if you are on twitter and you always seem to run out of room to finish your thought or add that extra emoji, you may be in luck. >> trevor: 280 characters. let me ask you a question, who looks at twitter and thinks, i need more of this? yeah, right now my haters can only make fun of my mom. what about pie dad? what about pie dad? honestly, these days we don't need any characters, let's be honest. there should be fewer characters on twitter. everything is pictures now anyway, you can say anything we want with two emojis. well, not anything but the most important things that we can say. (laughter) that's right, people. that's right. that's right.
(applause). >> trevor: thank you, that's right. vegan diet. very important. but let's get to our big story tonight. the race that has been dominating alabama. no, not white people, i mean the senate race. (laughter) there has been an open seat since former senator jeff sessions had to vacate historyhouse to move to the white house. so yesterday alabama republicans want to the polls to choose between two candidates. roy mooree, former alabama chief justice and luthor strange, 6 foot 9 former attorney general. now the reason a republican primary race became national news is the same reason everything becomes national news, mango unchained got involved. >> we need each an every one of you to get a friend, go out, get a family member, get the whole family and bring them out to vote for big luthor. do people call you big luthor before you met trump. you know, i brand people. i just saw him, i said he's big
luthor. and that's cool. >> trevor: wow. what a genius. he's-- he saw the big guy and he's like he's big, oh, man, you got to hand it to trump, he knows nicknames, wow. big luthor, lil marco, crooked hillary, you know sometimes i wish he would give me a nickname. although i know it will probably be black trevor, no, i mean think about it, think about it. he never gives a nickname to black people because you know it is the first thing that comes to his mind. these are my dear friends, black omarosa, sorry, and black ben carson. if only there was something else that defined you guys, i would use it. i would use it, i don't-- urban, how about that. urban. now trump liked luthor not just because he is big but because luthor told trump he would vote with him on health care. and loyalty is the most important thing to trump. well, loyalty and pretend driving trucks on the white house lawn. (laughter) and now you would think that an
alabama republican race with donald trump endorsing one of the candidates isn't even a race, right? because that guy is just going to plow over everyone else. what makes the story different is that everyone on trump's team was supporting the other guy. >> moore had a constellation of anti-establishment conservative stars behind him. including sara palin, chuck norris and the president's former chief strategist steve bannon. >> you can go on huckabee, sebastian gork. >> niejel ferage dr. ben carson, a member of president trump's cabinet offering his support of moore. >> i'm here as a private citizen knowed today, not as c.e.o. of the campaign. i haven't worn this jacket since we were on the campaign. i came to you unshaven, unkempt, in this old bomber jacket, exactly as i was on the campaign. >> trevor: unshafen and unkempt? i love that, bannon treats one campaign rally as an excuse to totally let himself go.
i'm here to campaign which is why my thighs are covered in untreated bed sores, yai, yeah. by the way steve bannon is the only person who looks like he is wearing a leather jacket even when he isn't. he just has that look. this is a crazy twist. president trump endorsed one candidate. and then the human hagis steve bannon and deplorables endorsed the other. and last night alabama republicans chose which endorsement they preferred. >> roy moore has won the alabama senate republican primary over senator luthor strange. >> trevor: wow. trump's man, luthor strange lost. yeah, and he lost big, it was a big loss. you see what i like to do is brand losses, that's what i did. give them nicknames. big loss. (applause) sort so yeah, unfortunately for done all trump his supporters didn't vote for the
guy he wanted them to. and he handled this defeat as graciously as he handles everything in life. >> breaking news about just how upset the president is at one of his biggest political feats to date, sources tell cnn the president went to bed embarrassed and pissed. their words. >> trevor: this is what i love about the english language. you can hear the same thing two completely different ways. because what i heard was done ald trump went to bed embarrassed. and pissed. ah within sshh, aah, sshh. oh, and this is not a joke. donald trump was so humiliated, he even deleted a bunch of his tweets where he told people to vote for luthor strange. i know this is a small thing, but in a weird way it say big thing. like i would want the president smart enough to know that just because you delete the tweets doesn't mean that they are gone,
right? if someone went up to trump and went got your nose, i am afraid he would be like my nose, my nose, my nose. so roy moore won the alabama republican race which means he will almost certainly be the next senator from alabama. and that would mean that his decisions could affect the entire country. so we may as well get to know america's potentially newest senator. >> former alabama chief justice roy moore is a hero to the religious right. >> the chief justice of the alabama supreme court moore defied a court order to remove a monument to the ten commandment inside the supreme courted building. >> this is someone who referred to islam as a state religion. >> in 2006 he opposed keith elison taking the oath of office in congress on the koran. >> i'm sorry but this i c was not founded on mohammed. >> trevor: that's right t was founded on rock 'n' roll.
♪ wow! (applause) actually, actually sorry, it was founded on a bunch of indian grave yards. and rock 'n' roll. ♪ oh, and of course racism. >> just this week was accused of racially insensitive remarks. >> he also said in the past that president obama, he doesn't think was born in this country. >> now we is blacks and whites fietding, rich and young fighting. >> trevor: i mean i guess saying we've got blacks and whites fighting, but reds and yellows, is he running some kind of fight club for m eminem. what is going on here, man. so roy moore has some interesting views on religion and race. but that's only the beginning. you see getting to know this man is like peeling an onion.
the deeper you go the more you want to cry. >> i want to work our military strong again. i want-- free from political correctness and socials experimentation, like transjeste troops in our bathroom. >> do you think that homosexual-- homosexuality or homosexual conduct should be illegal today? that is a yes or no question. >> home sexual-- homosexual conduct should be illegal. >> do you know that bestiality, the relationship between man and beast is prohebted in every state? do you know that? >> are did i ask you about having sex with a cow. >> no, you didn't. >> or a horse or a dog. >> it's the same thing. >> trevor: okay, if you ever have to bring up bestiality to win an argument, you have already lost. the only thing you are proving is that you shouldn't be left alone on a farm. that's it. i also bet that that reporter never thought he would ever have to ask the question, did i ask you about having sex with a cow?
is that what i asked you about? but yes, that's roy moore. and you might be thinking trevor, didn't trump win either way? even if his guy didn't win, roy moore sounds exactly like a trump kind of guy, you know, defying the law. unrefined views on race, uses religion to just fie his bigotry which is true. but one of the most important things that happened during this race, and the reason trump is so humiliated is that he asked his supporters to vote for someone. and instead, they voted for his opponent. which is weird. and what was weird is they said that they did it in trump's name. >> when you walked in that voting booth tomorrow, a vote for judge roy moore is a vote for donald j. trump. >> trevor: now i don't know if you see what just happened there. but this is like what happened to bern ye sanders last year. remember, he said to his voters, vote for hillary. and then a lot of them went no. we're with bernie.
and he said yeah, i'm bernie. i'm telling you to vote for hillary. and they were like that's not what bernie would do. sit down old man. we're with bernie! yeah! it's it's weird. and thanks to the race in alabama for the first time we're seeing that trumpism can exist without trump, which is terrifying. because now it means that even once trump is out of the picture, his ideology, like his tweets, won't be so easy to delete. we'll be right back.
♪ hey grandpa. hey, kid. really good to see you. you too. you tell grandma you were going fishing again? maybe. (vo) the best things in life keep going. that's why i got a subaru, too. introducing the all-new crosstrek. love is out there. find it in a subaru crosstrek. score bigour plans start at only $30/month. we've got more 4g lte coverage than t-mobile or sprint. and if you switch now, you can get a brand new smartphone for free. cricket wireless. something to smile about. for us, it's rocky mountain water...n.
...or nothing. coors banquet. that's how it's done. posting hashtag yeehaw. hashtag i have no signal and i still can't post out here. woah! look out, coming through. hey thomas. howdy there joy. see joy's got the new iphone with verizon unlimited. you bet i do. best phone, best network. america's largest, most reliable 4g lte network. she can post out here like she does in the city. hey twelve likes. what?
likes won't get you didly around these parts. yaaw! (vo) when you really, really want the best, get the new iphone on the best unlimited with plans starting at $40 per line for four lines. throughout history, the one meal when we come together, break bread, share our day and connect as a family. [ bloop, clicking ] and connect, as a family. just, uh one second voice guy. [ bloop ] huh? hey?
i paused it. bam, family time. so how is everyone? find your awesome with xfinity xfi and change the way you wifi. (applause). >> trevor: welcome back to the daily show. lately, when you think of the fbi you probably think of the beef between trump and comey. but the bureau is working on other cases too. and yesterday we found out that in the ncaa some cultures are going from basketball court to the law-judgey place, dammity, i forgot the world, roll the clip. >> a massive scandal rocking college basketball. today the fbi announcing fraud and corruption charges against ten people. college coaches taking cash
bribes, up to $100,000 in exchange for steering nba-bound athletes towards specific financial advisors and sports agents. a top adidas executive was named in the federal complaint. he is accused of exiering to funel six-figure payments to families of three high school recruits to attend universities sponsored by adidas. >> trevor: for more on this college basketball scandal we turn to our own college athlete michelle wolf, everybody. (applause) michelle, big question here, what can the ncaa do to stop fraud, bribery and corruption in college sports. >> easy, pay the athletes. done. problem solved. yeah. what else you got? world hunger? feed them. climate change, cool it. we got two and a half minutes here and i am solution lady. >> trevor: well, that doesn't help anyone, michelle. i mean this ncaa scandal is a little more complicated than
that. >> no, it's not. there are two things i think when i watch college sports. one, athletes should get paid. two, michelle, stop fantasizing about these players, some of them are teenagers. >> trevor: well, actually, i never thought about that. >> i think about it all of the time. >> trevor: now, michelle, one of the main arguments against paying college athletes is that they're students and they are doing it for the love 6 the game. people envoy that purity. >> the purity, for who? you? i they are supposed to foat not get paid for you, the same guy without petes pasta with his ball-scratching hand? he wants purity. and i would buy the whole purity thing if everyone around them was doing it for the love the the game. why is it just the athletes 6789 everyone else getting paid. coaches, athletic directors tv channel, arenas. the ncaa is pure the same way carrot cake is healthy, it's not. >> trevor: but it's not like there is no compensation. many of the athletes get to go
to school for free. >> right, yeah, they're getting a free education. they barely have time for. i ran track in college. and the schedule is packed. morning practice, afternoon practice, weightlifting, ice bath, trainer visits, travel days, forget homework. i didn't even have time for my laundry. i just flipped my underwear inside out. >> trevor: isn't it still dirty hen? >> only for my pants. (laughter). >> trevor: so yes, okay, michelle, let's say i'm with you on this, and i agree with paying the athletes. how would it work. because remember the money schools earn from big sports they use to subsidize the little sports. let's say they earned a million dollars for basketball, how much would the players get. >> all of it. >> trevor: but what about the volleyball team. >> i don't know, $30, it's not like they have a place to put it. >> trevor: do you see the con undrum. >> okay, fine, it is complicated but guess what, solution lady.
if paying athletes doesn't work, then stop paying everyone else who makes money off of college sports. everyone should do it for the love the the game. make coaches work for free, no more commercials, the whole thing should be like my divorce friends mad wree jewelry business. no one makes money and everyone's sad. >> trevor: but if no one is paid, the whole thing falls apart. >> exactly. just like maddie. but i'm tired of seeing cleng athletes exploited for money like i was. >> trevor: yait wait, you were exploited. >> yeah, ea made a video game about me as a college athlete and i never got paid. >> trevor: and that game was called michelle wolf's track and field. >> yes, and everyone loved playing it. me, michelle, here we go. yay.
>> o-w. >> trevor: mitchell wolf, everybody. we'll be right back. discover card. i'm not a customer, but i'm calling about that credit scorecard. give it. sure! it's free for everyone. oh! well that's nice! and checking your score won't hurt your credit. oh! i'm so proud of you. well thank you. free at at discover.com/creditscorecard, even if you're not a customer. then he tried tostitos scoopsl foand salsa.... ...and started following them in real life. hey, mike. 'sup? oh... tostitos. bring the party. guys...i'm trapped, my boss wants me here. raz, where are you? we are not leaving without you. just go downstairs now. ♪ rapunzel?! ♪ look for my c-hr. ♪
reminds me of how geico hasd been saving people money for over 75 years. hey, big guy! come on in! let me guess your weight! win a prize! sure, why not. 12 ounces! sorry, mate. four ounces. i've been taking the stairs lately. you win, big guy. sorry, 'scuse me! oh, he looks so much more real on tv. yeah... over 75 years of savings and service. get your rate quote today.
♪ it's a good, good, good ♪ time to be alive. ♪ oh yeah. pizza with pepsi. delicious. ahhh. score bigour plans start at only $30/month. we've got more 4g lte coverage than t-mobile or sprint. and if you switch now, you can get a brand new smartphone for free. cricket wireless. something to smile about.
(applause). >> trevor: welcome back to the daily show. my guest tonight is an emmy-award-winning actor, producer and activist who stars in the nbc series superstore. please welcome america ferrara. (applause) >> hi. >> trevor: welcome to the show. >> thank you for having me. >> trevor: i have been a fan of yours for soing lo. this is such an honor. thank you for being here. >> my pleasure. >> trevor: congratulations on all of your success, especially with superstore returning for its third season. >> third season. >> trevor: exciting. (applause) you know what i think is most impresessive about the slow is it is one of the few shows on tv that is about people with like real life jobs. which is not a normal thing these days, right? >> it's not. and it's really the main thing that really drew me to the project because these days everyone is the best cia agent
or the best fbi agent or the best cop or the best whatever. but you know, i grew up watching cheers and rosanne and all in the family and shows that centered regular, average, working families and people and show showed that there was humor and laughter and value and validity to those lives. and so i was really, really excited to get to do a show that did that. and what's special about our show is it is quite diverse. and unlike maybe the shows that i just mentioned, we have, we have real diversity in our show and it allows us to really tackle so many, you know, conversations that you couldn't do if you didn't have those characters present and on screen. >> trevor: when you look at the story, it's not just about diversity but the people experiencing many of the issues that touch on what is happening in real life. >> absolutely. >> trevor: is that something that is consciencely done in the slow, it is not just a comedy about nothing, it's also a
comedy about what is happening in the real world? >> absolutely. i think that all good comedy is truth, you know. and what is really i guess an opportunity in this moment, i don't know, i think we would trade the opportunity for a better time. >> trevor: right, right, right. >> but i think the opportunity in this moment is to try and reflect the world as it actually is. so on television, we have this opportunity to change the narrative and to bring people into the center of their own stories and say, you know, people are sometimes on television, it is the first time they're meeting someone like such and such, and i know people love to say it is just tv, it is just entertainment. but there is such a huge country. and we're so ice lated from one another. that sometimes the only way people know a gay person or a muslim person or a black person is the person they're seeing on television. and so we have a responsibility to try and reflect the world as it is. >> trevor: wow, that's powerful. (applause)
>> also made me realize for some americans, i'm the only south african they know. you are moving into positions where you have the ability to create for others. i mean you are a producer on the show. you are also directing now, which is really exciting. is acting still your passion or do you see a world where you could only go into directing or producing? >> he you foa, i done think of it that way, i think my passion is story telling and secretariarily my passion is creating opportunity for more authentic representation. so as a producer, it brings me as much joy to find a young latino black asian writer and give them an opportunity to tell a story about them that they have never seen told before. and that they are the only ones uniquely qualified to tell that story. >> trevor: right. >> and so i don't necessarily see it as a choice. i see it as i get to do all of these amazing things with the
same goal of creating more authenticity in storytelling and hopefully opening doors so that people behind us, the next generation can have a little bit easier of a job doing it. (applause). >> trevor: before i let you go, you don't just talk the talk, you walk the walk as well. you started an organization, one of the cofounders called harness, what is harness about? >> yeah, so i founded, cofounded harness with my husband and my friend who is also an actor, a producer. and the kruks of the organization is to amplify the voices of the people who are most impacted by the issues that we're talking about every day. so so often we're talking about people and not with people. and we can't learn about the reality of these issues until we start hearing about the life stories of those who are either most impacted or the ones who are working every day on the ground to change things. so harness is another