tv The Daily Show With Trevor Noah Comedy Central July 22, 2022 1:14am-2:00am PDT
>> trevor: what's going on, everybody, welcome to "the daily show," i'm trevor noah. thank you so much for tuning in. thank you for coming out in person. love it look at, this take a seat, everybody. let's do it we've got a jam-packed show for you tonight. donald trump is running from the law, well, not running but you know, bore is johnson gives the greatest farewell speech of all times and you will never guess which u.s. president got covid. so let's do this, people, let's jump straight into today's headlines. all right. let's kick things off with the big news of the day, president biden has had a rough time recently. he couldn't get climate change action. he couldn't get free community college. he couldn't get tax hikes on the rich. but it turns out there is one thing he could get.
>> we begin this hour with its breaking news from the white house where president joe biden is in isolation after he tested positive for covid. >> the white house press secretary saying that the president is fully vaccinated. he's been twice boosted, he's experiencing what they say are very mild symptoms at this point. so he will be isolating but he will be able to continue in his role. he won't need to turn over any duties it appears to the vice president at this folks. >> hey folks, guess you heard, we tested positive for covid but have i been double vaccinated, double boosted, symptoms are mild and i really appreciate your inquiry and concern. but i'm doing well, getting a lot of work done, going to continue to get it done and in the meantime, thanks for your concern. and it is going to be okay. >> trevor: great, okay. first things first, i'm sure all of our thoughts are with president biden for a speedy recover. get well soon, sir, you played it through the spanish flu, with you can get through. this i know you can do it. and also it does look like he's
going to be fine, right. he even got swagcin that video, hey, you probably heard, i got covid, ha, ha. but i get why he has got swag. he has been vaxxed, he's been boosted, double boosted and he's taking antiviral drugs and just to be safe he is sipping some bleech on the side, you know, that shit seems ridiculous unless you get covid and then i'll try anything. another reason the spt going to be fine because let's be honest. there is not much covid can do to him. think about it. what is going to happen, the virus will get in his body and be like let's see what can i do here, time to get some brain fog, fatigue, wait, wait, have iler already been here, what's going on now in the meantime biden says will not be taking any sick days. which is what sucks about being president, right, you have to put on a strong face and he has a job. he will be milking that shit, oh, covid really got me. i think i'm going to be sick for
the rest of the summer. if you see pictures of me by the pool, my phone was hacked. but let's move on from the big news out of plaryked to the big news out of the united kingdom, the queen has covid. no. i'm joking, i'm joking, that would be crazy, right, no, i'm joking, doesn't have covid, she has been dead for years. anyway, back in 2019, prime minister bore is johnson and his conservative party won a landslide election victory it was huge. they won everywhere, in southern england, in manchester n sherlock upon watson and east narnia, all the places. basically between bore is and ed sheeran 2019 was a good year. emly for british people who look like they're from the year 1326 it was a good time. and it was such a commands victory that people thought bore is johnson might become the prime minister who is up there for a decade. you know, which would be amazing for britsan's first human broom. but then bore is started getting
caught up in scandal. he botched the covid response then he got caught throwing a bunch of parties while the rest of britan had to be in lockdown and then he hired people who he knew were alleged sex offenders and of course there was the time he showed up to particle am wearing a t-shirt that says the carpet matches the drape swiss totally inappropriates because it doesn't. he combs the carpet. so finally last month he was forced to resign in disgrace and yesterday he gave the greatest farewell speech of all time. >> bore is johnson facing carlment-- parliament for one last time as british prime minister as only he would. he defends his record in his farewell remarks and gave words of advice to his successor. >> stay close to the american, speak up for the americans, stick up for freedom and americans everywhere, cut taxes and deregulate wherever you can to make this the greatest place to live and that which is it is, focus on the road ahead, focus on the road ahead but always
remember to check the rearview mirror. and remember, remember above all it's not twitter that counts. it is the people. >> mr. speaker, i want to thank everybody here. and hast a la vista, baby. thank you. >> trevor: hast a la vista, baby? there is the last of shakespeares and jane austen and the quote bore is chose was from the terminator? i mean i guess that shows you pot we are of american culture. even the prime minister of the united kingdom is like farewell and god speed orksz-kurrrr. the most ridiculous thing ever. and i don't know if you saw t the speech was weird, the whole thing. in the middle i started giving random advice about driving, focus on the road ahead, always check the rearview mirror and
remember it is not a hit and run if you drive away slowly, all right? you know, it is also like normally when are you giving a speech, especially about resigning or being fired like surely you want to make people regret, like when you give the speech i want people to go oh, man, we made the wrong choice, they are leaving, remember with obama, when he gave his farewell speech, even racists in america were like maybe he was one of the good ones. but this guy, this guy gives a speech he's like yo, how did he get the job. did he win a contest or something? who is this person? anyway let's move on to some news about america's most powerful institution, am glofnlt i know from the get-go people have mixed feelings about amazon. >> they exploit their workers, they ruin local economy, quit bitching, i love them. you know why, if i need more charmin i get it on amazon and
boom it is at my house in six hours and maybe it is not exactly charmin, maybe it say chinese knockoff and maybe it is mostly made out of lead, but am i going to get brean poisoning from wiping with lead, no, and i certainly am not going to get brain poisoning from wiping with lead, so anyway the fact is amazon is a part of life in america and i'm not going to get brain poisoning from wiping with lead. and now amazon is going to be expanding even more. >> we have breaking news out of seattle this morning, home to amazon, the company announcing it is diving further into the health-care industy with plans to buy health-care provider one medical for about 3.9 billion dollars. amazon says health care is high on its list of things that need reinventing. >> yeah, finally a win for jeff bezzous. oh man. i could not be more excited. yeah cuz with amazon prediction algorithm health care will never be the same, they always know you what want, what you need
before you answer know it. imagine them with health care, you are buy a pack of double a batteries and just before you check out they will be like you might also need chemotherapy. chemotherapy, i don't have-- oh shit, shouldn't have used that lead toilet paper. now, now i know, i know some people are a little uncomfortable with the idea of amazon getting into every industry. you know cuz they're buying medicine now. they run the cloud, they own tv studios, they have grocery stores. and you know so what. also what is the worst that could happen, huh? what at some point jeff bezos owns everything, yeah so what, and then he has all of our money so now we are slaves working crazy hours in the warehouse, he, peeing in boats, that doesn't sound so bad, at least i know where my packages are. the one thing that does suck about this is if amazon also
owns your medicine it realize it means they know your medical secrets, will you be hanging out at home with your friends and will be like your hemorrhoid cream is arriving this afternoon, cancel, cancel. >> you would like me to cancel your giant tub of hemorrhoid cream, no, no, cancel, that is it for the headlines but before we go to break it is time to check the weather headlines with desi lydic, everybody. (cheers and applause) desi, it is absolutely insane, just help us out. what is the weather looking like. >> trevor, it is hot out there. so let's make it quick cuz i got a kid in my car. >> trevor: what? >> relax, it's not my kid, it's some actor i hired so i could use the carpool lane. anyway t is scorching all across this country as you can see. tand is really important that we take precaution.
so i am just going to give everyone a huge tip to stay safe out there. safe and cool. now this let is dangerous especially for pets and the elderly. basically any one who eats out of a bowl. it is considered high risk. so do your elderly neighbors a favor. pop by, see how they are doing. check in because if they die, god rest their soul. you get first dibs on that real estate. and this real estate market is a beast, you got to be competitive. i actually checked in on my neighbor this morning, unfortunately she was fine. >> what do you do, what do you do, second tip t is cooler at night, so you are going to want to leave those windows open before bed. and i know what you are thinking, trevor, what about robbers, right? crime rates are up. so this is why i home alone my house every single night. marbles on the floor,
blowtorches up above, the whole deal, you just takes care of everything. the one thing you will want to do is remind anyone that you live with about that. because my husband has not been the same since the paint can incident. >> trevor: oh wow. >> a little bit rough. next tip, wear loose clothing, okay, especially if you sweat a lot like me and i mean a lot. trevor t is like a slip and slide, there is a whole situation, i'm talking violently moist. you do not want to know what's happening all-- . >> trevor: yeah, yeah. yes, do i not, i don't want to know. >> the sheer volume of it. sometime there is a grit to it, you know what i am talking about, like gritty-- have you ever opened up a dishwasher mid cycle, that is what it is like, it's like that. >> trevor: well, i'm glad you didn't tell me, desi, thank you.
>> anyway t is a medical condition. which is why i so appreciate you being such an ally, leaving out those towels for me, beautiful clean towels in your bathroom for me to use three, four, five times a day sometimes. i just really appreciate that. and to show you that is why i always fold it up neatly and put it exactly how you left it. thank you. >> trevor: i use those towels on my face. >> of course the most effective way to beat the hee is to stay hydrated, okay. but please, please, be careful, watch out for products that claim to be more hydrating than water. that is a cash grab. there is only one thing that can hydrate you more than water and that is darrell's hard brown lemonade. what makes it brown. after one or two no one cares. in it ain't brown it's not going
down. (applause) so good, so good. you know who could use darrell's hard brown, president biden. you know why cuz it also cures covid. the only hard brown lemonade that also cures covid. hmmmm. that is why i love this stuff. it is sick thick. anyway, those are the big tips to carry you through this heat. oh, one more thing. actually. if a guy named darrell offers you $50,000 no strings attached, there are strings attached. oh shit, this kid is calling me again. ugh, yeah, no you can't put the
windows down, someone could steal something. well, did you home alone the car? >> trevor: is she going to leave the kid, desi lydic, everybody. (applause) i think that's illegal. all right, when we come back we'll find out if donald trump is going to be president or prisoner. you don't want to miss it.
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>> welcome back to the daily show, tonight was the season finale of the january 6th hearing. the tv event that investigates the day a mob of maga maniacs tried to help mike pence heat his hero. so with phase one of the herings coming to a close, let's catch up on the latest developments of our ongoing coverage of january 6th. after weeks of televised hearings, we're learning a lot about what happened on january 6th and the day that lead up to it. we learned that done all trump was told by his closest advisors that the election wasn't toll en, he set up a fake election defense fund that took millions of dollars from his supportsers. we learned he knew his-- crowd was armed and sent them to the capitol anyway and after all of this, guys, i don't know about you, but i'm starting to think
this donald trump guy might be bad news. i am seeing one or two red flags here. and i am not the only one. because remember how we learned in those hearings about how trump tried to get mike pence to single handedly toss out the election results, remember that part. well, a bipartisan group of senators has decided that shit should never happen again. >> here in washington a bipartisan group of senators have cut a deal that would make it much tougher to pull off a repeat of what former president trump tried to do that effort to pressure his vice president into overturning the election. one measure would reform the electoral count act to make it clear that the vp's job is quote solely minister yal and that he or she does not have any power solely to determine, accept, reject or otherwise dispute over electors. >> trevor: wow, this is big. (applause). >> trevor: this is big. senators from both parties have agreed to amend the electoral count act of 1887 to make it
clear once and for all that the vp cannot just toss out the election results. which yes, it is something everyone in america already new except for one guy. you know, kind of like when in kindergarten the teacher makes an announcement to the class but clearly directed at one kid, okay, class, remember we don't poop on the toilet, we poop in the toilet, that is for everyone to understand, okay donald? (applause). >> trevor: it was obvious to everyone else but the vice president can't just throw out the election results. that would make no sense. why would you give so much power to someone who is otherwise totally powerless. huh? it would be like handing over control of america's drones to whichever kid wins the national spelling bee t is what the founders wanted. but either way this is a big deal. and it is also a good reminder for america that if an old ass law doesn't make sense any more, you can just change that shit.
(applause) right in and don't get me wrong, don't get me wrong. i'm not saying it is because people if the day were stupid, no people back in the day were smart as hell, they studied the classics, they knew how to write in cursive, they year top hats all the time. but they wrote the laws that made sense for their time. huh? they didn't need to spell this out because they didn't have a donald trump. so that law changed. the vice president can't just overturn the election. and knowing america, whoever write this story is going to happen and donald trump will get all of these people to become the electors electors in each s, ignore the voters go these are the votes and it will come to cam la harris, flip the thing, she's like-- but it looks like overturning the next election might be the least of donald trump's worries because after all the fact the committee exposed about his last overturning the justice department might be paying
donald a visit. >> the spotlight on the justice department's investigate is growing. attorney general merrick garland making it clear he will hold accountable every person who was criminally responsible. >> no person is above the law in this country. >> nothing stops us. >> no person. >> let me say that again, no person is above the law in this country. i can't say it more than that. >> trevor: damn. i have never seen that side of merrick garland, looked like he was about to cut a bitch, did you see what he did. there he turned into samuel l. jackson for a second. no person is above the-- what about the-- what part of no person don't you understand, mother [bleep] i said no person. now what is interesting about the story, is that some democrats actually are mad at merrick garland because they think he doesn't really want to
prosecute trump. right? they say is he slow rolling, trying to hide behind thingsk i will be honest, i get it i think the man is in a tough spot here. think about it. even if trump is definitely guilty, can you imagine what would happen if he gets sent to prison? the country would explode. you thought january 6th was bad? huh? trump supporters would be storming everything he got arrested for capital, the white house, the supreme court, the only place that would be safe from them is libraries. be like don't go in there they got history books. (applause) but it turns out merrick garland isn't even trump's only problem because right now he's being investigated by everyone, right. congress, the state of new york, a district attorney in georgia, the men in black and i get it. no, human beings don't just look like this, it doesn't make sense, that is not a human thing. so trump looks like he's in a tough spot but it is one thing we know about donald trump, that getting out of tough spots is his specialty. he can get out of anything, criminal case, lawsuit,
marriages, marriages, other marriages and apparently, apparently trump thinks he found an ingenuous way to get out of his current trouble. >> it is sounding more likely an announcement from former president trump about a 2024 election bid is more of a matter of when and not an if. but it is not just about avenging a law. four people with knowledge of the situation tell "rolling stone" magazine that mounting legal issues are a motivating actor for trump's desire to retake the oval office. >> according to the justice department's office of legal counsel, a sitting president cannot be charged with a federal crime. >> yeah. so it turned out some people are above the law. and it's clazy that trump might run for president so that he doesn't go to jail. yeah, it is always wild that donald trump is the only person to run for president but has no interest in being president. you know the first time he did it to try to drum uprating ares for at present is and now is he going to run just to stay out of jail.
like his campaign slogan is probably going to be trump 2024, i can't do time. i actually think it would make the campaign more fun. can you imagine if trump is running for president while he is running from the law? like no child ud should ever learn pronouns oh shit, the cops are here, rudy, open the sewer gate, you'll never get me pow pow pow. so that is the end of the first season of the january 6th committee. and it ends with the possibility of trump going to prison. and i'm sure right now wherever he is the man is probably terrified. is he like what do i do? melania, i can't go to prison. how am i going to survive? >> don't worry donald. i have been a prisoner for 20 years, i will give you tips. >> trevor: stay tuned, when we come back, blitz bazawule will be joining me on the show, don't go away.
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>> welcome back to the daily show, my guest tonight is a musician, an artist, film maker who has collaborated with the likes of beyonce and oprah winfrey here to talk about his debut novel the scent of burnt flowers. please welcome blitz bazawule. >> how are you, sir. >> how are you doing, sir. >> i'm fantastic. >> there is so good to have you here because there are few people in the world who can say that they have people like oprah winfrey and beyonce as their fans, do you. >> none, maybe you, maybe you.
>> let's starts with this idea. i mean people have seen your work even if they don't know you, don't know your name, you do so many different things. nominated for a grammy for codirecting black is king, right. >> yeah. >> creating the musical adaptation of the color purple. >> absolutely. >> an all of this and your journey begins in ghana, i'm always fascinated in african, how does that journey begin, to get you to this point here. >> first no african has-- you got to do them all, do it all. and i have always-- for me it is a beginning. i grew up with a grand moth thary told story, they were incredible. they were always visual. i call it the hbo showtime netflix of its time and the beauty of that was they were imaginative. so i grew understanding that stories could be nonlinear, they
could be very powerful tools. for the imagination. so over time for me that's just t chasing this idea of storytelling. understanding that stories bring us together, especially as a couldn't nent where stories are so few and far between and so few people know about our stories i found that having to do it in multiple media allows us to tell more of the same story. >> i love that you have done that across multiple media because you don't just direct. you don't just produce and create movies. you also are a rapper. you have like four self-released albums, right. >> i do. >> and now a novel, to throw into the mix. >> absolutely. >> what is happening. you are just win sog hard, you get bored and-- like not many people would think that they can write the book and not many people would write a book that is getsing the reviews your book is getting. >> indeed. i mean i really, look, it was
covid. it was covid. >> trevor: okay, i will take it. everyone was baking bread and were you writing a book t say fantastic book and the premise to your point of story is beautiful. i won't give away off the details but essentially a store eye of a black couple in the '60s living in america who escaped to africa and you know, a whole journey unfolds. now what i love is that it is set in the '60s and we know the civil rights movement, the stories in and around that time. but it feels strangely like it could be set today as well. >> absolutely. >> people are going like america, i'm not sure, i need to go to africa. >> absolutely. and it has been an ongoing thing. and for me what it is, it is also about compensations, you know, i've a lot of friends that say they want to go to africa and they go and they go oh, this is the real africa. and it's real. it's very real to them. and i find that ultimately i have friends who want to come to america. and there are homeless, there
are a lot of attempt of coup de tayes and things like, that and aw rife and say wait, that happens here too. so the expectations back and forth for me has been one of the most interesting juxtapositions of this become and whether it is now, whether it is then, i think the stories is still the same, we are all longing for a home that we hope will be better than the one we are in. >> trevor: i love that. wow. i really love that. i also enjoy how real you made the story. if i'm in the mistaken, this has already been thought to be turned into a series, correct. >> absolutely. >> this is wild because-- most of the time the book has to be out. >> yes. >> an people are like oh, we need to make this into a movior tv series and then you wrote the book and there was a bidding and people are like we want the book. how did they even know what was in the book did they know or just know you and they are like we'll take it, we'll take it. >> i would love that.
>> okay. >> they had to-- okay, so now here is the question have i. everyone says the same thing about everything. oh the book is better, how are you going to make sure the book isn't just better. how do you make sure that the series holds a candle to the book. >> absolutely. i mean i think first shout out to yahya who will be starring in the show. i mean it is really going to be fantastic exploration because one thing i found about writing is that you can create these multiple layers and back stories in way that you probably couldn't in television. but in television, and all film, you've got to visually tell nonverbal stories so you can show people as opposed to tell them. so i feel like i have the best of both worlds so i can go in here whenever i need it and have the visual to tell the story. >> i love that. >> so you're going to be working on the adaptation, the musical is-- what is the process with
that right now. because the color purpose sell one of those stories that is really held in high esteem, such an important story t is multigenerational. are you going to be redoing it as a musical which is particularly interesting. how do you capture the essence of something while sort of bringing in elements of the new and then making sure that the world's merge together? >> how did you do it. >> trevor: huh? >> how did you do it. >> trevor: i didn't make the color purple. i think you are confusing me with stephen spielberg. a lot of people tell me that on the side, steven spielberg, story. >> i mean "the daily show," you, that is what you did. and i have to be honest, it is such an inspiration. >> trevor: thank you, thank you. >> seriously. when i got this job, when i got this job you were one of the first people i thought about. how you take something that is classic, how do you take something that people love, and
make it your own. and you did that. and so in going into its color purple which we just wrapped, by the way. yes. (applause) >> shout out to steven spielberg and oprah for the support and love and the warner procedure brothers family for the love but they really allowed me to make this my own and they allowed me to experiments. they allowed me to give ceely an imagination, they allowed me to do things that i think elevate the story and make it something that is modern and something that still holds its foundations together. and also the original inspiration for all of this, very lucky. >> trevor: we are lucky because we will be the ones to experience how you put the work together. i find myself intrigued with a lot of the work you create because you can tell that ghana and africa as a whole have an indelible impression on how you think and how you apply your mind to the projects are you
working on. you see this in the book and i love how did you it. you tell a story about people who are connected by so many things and yet have so many things that actually make them different. particularly an african-american couple going to africa going this is our home and realizing it is not but it is. and there are things that are different. how do you tackle that sensitively because what i felts reading the book was wow, we are the people but we can also celebrate that new cultures have emerged and new ideas spread across from generation to generation, how do you capture them and did do you it on purpose or just in a. >> it's on purpose. the fact that i grew up in ghana, i went to a secondary school which was a fantastic school, produced president, i'm lucky to be from that school. >> trevor: okay, okay. >> and but the beauty there was that i have been able to really never let go of, you know, that
eferlee-- those early years of my life. which then you know spending as much time as have i now in the u.s., it's kind of found a way to-- that is one thing. which now, which now is kind of the mirror through which i am or the vessel through which have i made music it is the same. it was like taking public enemy and mixing it with-- now you've got afro beat its and everybody knows it, but ten years ago. >> that idea was wilder. >> it was very few people who were attempting to do this, and i think it is all about this double consciousness where you kind of zig zag through these worlds where you know that are you never quite either because they both become one thing and that is mow these characters find themselves. they find themselves constantly wrestling with identify, who am i, where am i going, and what world do i belong ultimately.
is it where you are, is it where you were born. is it where you are going next. and that is kind of, i find i personally wrestled with that myself. and many immigrantses do. and so that is kind of how i filter that through into this book. >> you have done an amazing job. it will be an amazing joe and thank you so much for joining me. i appreciate you. >> the scent of burnt flowers is available now. blitz bazawule everybody. we'll take a quick break and be back after this. thank you.
that's our show for tonight but before we go, before we go, please come to the supporting team, there have keerch, free fitness and recreation for youth with disability, if you want to help offer equal opportunities for recreation, and friendship donate at the link below, until next time stay safe. and remember if you can't do the time, don't do the crime or just run for president, now here st, your moment of zen. i don't want any bad-- i think when are you pretending to have cancer one day and covid the
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you guys, you guys ! chef is going away. going away ? for how long ? forever. i'm sorry, boys. ( stan ) chef said he's been bored, so he's joining a group called "the super adventure club." wow ! chef, what kind of questions do you think adventuring around the world is gonna answer ?! "what's the meaning of life ?" "why are we here ?" i hope you're making the right choice. i'm gonna miss him... i'm gonna miss chef, and i don't know how to tell him ! dude, how are we gonna go on ? chef was our f-f-friend. and we will all miss you, chef.
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