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tv   The Daily Show With Trevor Noah  Comedy Central  September 27, 2022 1:15am-2:00am PDT

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to be listening to them? ( laughter ) and i know a lot of people are doubtful about this, but i think it's going to be a huge hit. the c.i.a. says they'll use the same tactic they used when they launched crack so this podcast is going everywhere. ( laughter ) italy elected it's first female prime minister! ( cheers and applause ) who is also a right-wing politician who loves mussolini. ( cheering ) you can't take your cheers back, you love her already. bittersweet for italian liberals, a woman broke the glass ceiling but by throwing an illegal immigrant through it. ( laughter ) today, starting with "star wars," the sci-fi movie that made incest cool. for almost 50 years, james earl jones has been the voice behind darth vader, the mother famous
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villain and asthmatic in history. ( laughter ) but on friday, disney announced that the force is going to be moving on. >> james earl jones is reportedly retiring from voicing darth vader. but "star wars" fans may not notice. "vanity fair" says the 91-year-old actor has signed off on a plan to use artificial intelligence to craft new dialogue from his old voice recordings. >> trevor: you see the little mermaid becomes black and they take away james earl jones! i told you there would be backlash! i told you! >> i'm joking. the legendary actor retired from doing the voice, that's all that happened. instead of trying to find someone else to voice the part, disney said they will use artificial intelligence to replicate darth vader's voice. i don't know, people, this makes me a little nervous. ( laughter ) yeah, we think a.i. is going to take over the world, and now we're going to teach it to use the dark side of the force?
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no one thinks this is a bad idea? i get it. that voice is iconic. it belongs in darth vader's body, or announcing cnn promos. but that's it. ( laughter ) and that's the last thing we need. the last thing we need is them opening the role up to other famous people. you know when they to that with roles and it becomes weird? can you imagine darth vader being voiced by someone else? ( darth breathing ) luke, i am your father! but until your momma shows me the paternity test, you can just call me uncle darth. ( laughter ) ( breathing ) and for our main story tonight, i am your father. that's right, luke, i am your daddy and yes that upsets me as much as it upsets you, luke! ( laughter ) ( breathing ) a lot of people are saying i'm your father, luke. they're saying they've never seen a better father. and they're right.
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i love all my children. it's you. it's ivanka and that's it. ( cheers and applause ) it would have never worked. all right. enough of that. let's move on from "star wars" to another ongoing battle, the midterm elections in the next installment of votedemic 2022. ♪♪ we're not just six weeks away from election day, which means each party is making closing pitches to voters. democrats are promising if they win they will secure abortion rights and share nancy pelosi's stock tips. friday, to counter that pledges, republicans revealed their new policy idea. >> house republicans run veiling their plan to win back the majority in november. on friday, house minority leader kevin mccarthy, who is eyeing the speak wanker's gavel, announced his new g.o.p. agenda,
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called "the commitment to america." >> on that very first day that we're sworn in, you will see that it all changes because on our very first bill, we're going to repeal 87,000 i.r.s. agents. ( cheers and applause ) our job is to work for you, not go after you. >> trevor: goddam -- 87,000 i.r.s. agents fired. yeah. but i just sweep the floors! sweep them at home because your ass is gone, hashtag republicans. i also like the language they use when they're being tactical. when they're complaining about jobs going away, they're, like, you're losing jobs, you're fired. then we're going to repeal those jobs. ( laughter ) the 87,000 is the exact number of i.r.s. employees hired by the biden administration a couple of months ago. the deal behind this was the government could get more money if the i.r.s. was better able to crack down on all the tax cheats
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like billionaires and corporations, which makes sense. although another way to get more money in taxes is to make tax not like doing a formula to solve the time-space continuum. ( laughter ) that could make it easier. ( cheers and applause ) spend all weekend combining line 15c with 38b. i would have been an accountant if i had wanted to be an accountant! you have less of a chance of getting audit, which means you don't have to worry as much about paying your taxes. you know who it is, basically that g.o.p. is that kid who ran for class president in ninth grade on the platform of making homework illegal. and you're saying this doesn't seem responsible or possible, but, yeah, he has my vote, yeah, he has my vote. but, look, this bill has a good chance of happening because the republicans are expected to take control of the house for many
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reasons -- joe biden's unpopularity, the way congressional districts are drawn, people are hearing republicans are giving away free flights to martha's vineyard. ( laughter ) but it's not a sure thing. they might win but it's not a sure thing and part of the reason it's not as sure as it should be is because the republicans keep putting up candidates like this. >> republican house candidate j.r. majewski is struggling in his campaign in northwest ohio. the 42-year-old first launched into fame by painting donald trump into his lawn and raised eyebrows last year with a wrap video attacking on joe biden. ♪♪ ♪♪ majewski is in hot water again facing allegations he was the documents proving he saw combat are top secret, he says. >> in fact, the orders and the military records that i have
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been able to obtain from my personal files shows that all of my deployments are listed as classified. >> trevor: that's right, people, he cannot prove that he was in combat because all of the records are classified, and i believe him. man, i've been there. i've been there. in middle school, my girlfriend was classified, too. she was so hot. i wish you could have seen her, man. she was so classified. ( applause ) well, for real. if you were in active combat, you can't just say you were in active combat. especially to get elected. at a dinner party, we gelt id -- i killed bin laden, oooh! but lying about combat isn't cruel to those actually in combat but misleading to the voters. if you're saying you're doing top secret in afghanistan you
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should have to prove it. you should have to do seal team six in front of us. the guy standing next to you, snap his neck on stage, then i'll believe you. did you see that? then the guy i'm talking to, his head slides off his body, aaahhh! but looks like this guy wasn't in active combat and he didn't kill anything other than that rap music video. rap did not survive that video, rest in peace, hip-hop, we'll remember yu. moving on the international news because america isn't the only country in the world. there's ten others. three weeks ago the u.k. was introduce to its new prime minister, liz truss, who announced she was going to get britain back on track. she just didn't mention which way the track would be going. >> this morning the british pound plunged 5% to a record low against the u.s. dollar. levels like this not seen since the '80s, this amid growing fears of instability in the u.k.
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officials announced the largest tax cuts in 50 years while also boosting government borrowing and spending. worries this will be inflationary. >> this seems to be a vote of no support for the new government here and its big ambitious plans announced late last week. >> trevor: here's what happened, liz truss introduced a round of tax cuts to have the wealthy and in response the british cornsy has collapsed, which is not what they wanted. and at some point, can we admit even lifetime politicians don't actually know what they're doing? ( applause ) can we admit that? we just assume they have some idea of the way things work, but they just run things the way we used to mortal combat. hit all the buttons and hope for fatality. come on, luke, come on! i feel bad for liz because this is the first bill she proposed and it tanked the economy.
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can you imagine? you blew it you wanker! all about money. it's worthless now. thanks, liz! the first thing she did was kill the queen, right? this was the second thing. that's what i was it was. all right, that's it for the headlines. that's it for the headlines. before we go to the quick break. checking in on the stock market with our financial expert michael kosta, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) michael, what is happening in the markets today? >> i am crushing the market, trevor. tranassistant exponegligencele growth and i have a hot tip for you and you and you. >> trevor: what do you invest in? >> i'm glad you asked and i would love to tell you but it's classified and it's hard to be constantly crushing it, especially now, world markets are down. look at this, in response, governments around the world are
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raising their rates and here's what people don't realize, here's why i'm an expert, if you raise prices, things get more expensive. a lot of people don't know that. but, look, you know who's not crushing it? the british, okay? the british pound is way down. look at this chart. this looks bad. this looks like my face when i made my own face serum from tiktok. but, by the way, doesn't it kind of piss you off they added a last name to their money? you know, how far up your own ass are you when you give your money a last name? i mean, pound sterling? the dollar should do that, right? dollar, first name. dollar, middle name. bills, last name. y'all, suffix, right?
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>> hello, i'm pam sterling, dollar, dollar bills, you know? i think it's funny they had to make a crown right there. you know? we get it. people are blaming the tax cuts and liz truss. but, no, here's what happened with the pound, the queen, rest in power, she passed away. you can see right here, this moment right here is where the brits realize charles is going to be on their money, all right? having a 70-year-old man in your pants is never exciting. okay? ( cheers and applause ) look at this -- and it's definitely not going to stimulate your economy. now, if you're an american tourist, this can be used to your advantage because now is the best time to buy british goods, like swords stuck in stones or scotland or extra use for random words. british things.
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these governments are trying to do too much. raising interest rates, conversion rates, inflation, monetization, consideration. i have a solution. in order to stimulate the economy, had hot people to our cash, not charles! okay? way more people are likely to take out money and spend it if there's pictures of sexy people on the money. imagine pulling out a dollar and it's got paul rudd on it or sophia ro garra or paul rudd, you know? ( laughter ) imagine taking out a 20 and you look and it's that guy from "i love you man" but it isn't jason segel. paul rudd, right? >> michael, can you just give us the hot tip. >> this is the hot tip, if we do get sexy people on the money, like i'm suggesting, you can rub them together, that's like two sexy people kissing. on one bill you get a hot leading lady and on the other build you could get someone from
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the 40 or ant man, you know. like a paul rudd, right, and that's hot. back to you, trevor. ( applause ) >> trevor: thank you so much for that, michael kosta, when we come back, chatting to christiane amanpour about the fight for freedom in iran. so don't go away. ( cheers and applause ) descrncht at chipotle, our garlic guajillo recipe brings a whole new dimension to steak. our most tender cuts, hand-seasoned and grilled fresh. mixed with garlic and guajillo peppers, finished with fresh lime and cilantro. all-new garlic guajillo steak. it's a whole new dimension of flavor. why is everything so stressful when you're leaving for the airport? it's as if everything that could go wrong... goes wrong. [cat coughs]
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>> trevor: welcome back to the daily show. everyone has been talking about the situation in iran, and if you haven't heard, about ten days ago a young woman named mahsa amini was arrested by the morality police for not properly covering her hair and she died in their custody. ever since then, iranians have been pouring into the streets demanding justice for her death and freedom for iran's women. so far iran's government has answered the protesters with brutal violence, and it's shown no signs of reconsidering the law that requires women to cover their hair. in fact, last week the president of iran was scheduled to be interviewed by cnn's christiane amanpour in new york, and at the last minute he demanded that she wear a headscarf for the interview, even though the interview was in new york, and when she refused, he straight-up canceled the interview.
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yeah, he just left her looking like she was giving therapy to a ghost. joining me now to talk about that interview and the situation in iran, is christiane amanpour. christiane, welcome to "the daily show." let's jump straight into it. you have interviewed many iranian presidents. you have never been in a situation like this before where they demanded of you that you wear the headscarf not in iran. walk me through the situation and also why you chose to not do what the president of iran requested. >> well, very briefly, like, you know with my team, we wanted to do this interview and we were going to get the iranian president's first and exclusive interview on american soil. as you know because new yorkers know, it's gridlock at the u.n., this is u.n. week, and one of the things we like to do is get
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voices from all over the world including the iranian president. i've done this many years and i've always had the first interview with the latest iranian president and it's never been an issue. there is no law in the united states that requires a journalist to wear a scarf for any interview, and it was never an issue and, by the way, i find out that this guy, he had a breakfast, a press conference and didn't require anybody to wear a scarf. so, you know, come to the evening and it's now 8:00 and they say he's praying and he's resting and, you know, we're going to do it a little bit later and, suddenly, an aide came and said, um, we would like the -- the president would like you to wear a scarf. i'm, like, why? no, i don't have to wear a scarf. anyway, cut to the chase, it is not law, and as a journalist, i made instantaneously a journalistic decision based on the principle it isn't law and,
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b, you don't get strong armed by a foreign government or any government when you're trying to sit and conduct a previously arranged interview. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: seems like, and i can't help thinking -- that this was most probably i guess in some way, shape or form, motivated by the timing. you know, you are of iranian descent. do you think there's an el elemt of not wanting to appear on camera with you for fear of a message to a country that is very quickly turning against this dictator? >> i think you're right. i don't know that for sure, but i think he did mott want to be seen with a woman whose head was uncovered right at the same time that, in his own country, there was an uprising on the streets and, in fact, a woman had died -- a young woman had died because of this while in the custody of the morality police. and i will just say that this morality police has been around
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since 40-plus years of the islamic revolution, but under some presidents it'sless obvious and less strict and under some more. this particular president is of the hard line variety, and he basically came to power by making the crackdown on all sorts of social norms including on women's dress and their activity. that was the central theme of his campaign and, you know, clearly, it's all gone, as we say, pear shaped because i don't think he expected that something like this would cause the worst uprising in iran since 2009. it's really interesting, and, you know, your audience should know and your viewers that some 80% of the iranian people are under the age of 21. off0% of iranian students and university graduates are women. women have a lot of power and they want their full right.
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( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: i think they have every right to want that, and, across the world, you know, i think there may be some misconception. some see this as these women completely going up against islam, when, in fact, it's not that. what they're saying is they have nothing against anybody practicing religion or anyone dressing the way their religion requires. their qualm seems to be about the government forcing people to do it should they not wish to. is that correct? >> look, that's correct. the fact of the matter is it is the law, at least a social law. joint if it's written in the legal books, but it is the social religious law and has been since the beginning of the revolution which happened in 1979. but interestingly, trevor, you know, the women came out in the streets back then, 40-plus years ago, to also call for a change of regime. but they were not wearing
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headscarves and there was no question at that time wearing of headscarves being compulsory. i knew women who went into is it streets at the including members of my family, who wanted to get rid of a monarchy they thought was going to be democracy. then shortly after ayatollah co-meny -- khomeini ced, no, you need to be veiled. i asked a woman on my show with a graphic novel about her childhood. she basically said, you know, the people of iran want a democracy. the minute you take off the veil, you know, their dictatorship will go. so the regime is not going to allow that. but, she said -- she put it this way -- it's only to keep menas eyes off women, so if they're so horny, she said, and they're so unable to control themselves, well, maybe they should take a cold shower or look somewhere
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else. that's the bottom line. ( cheers and applause ) i'm sorry to at a, even if your country -- even in your country, trevor, even in the united states with this law that has banned the about of women to make choices about their own bodies, it's something incredibly important we have to keep an eye on and at that moment i was not as a journalist or woman going to put a headscarf on and somehow bind myself in some kind of, you kno- ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: as always, i appreciate you taking the time to join us on the show. i appreciate you. i've grown up watching you cover all these stories and as always, i appreciate the work that you do out there. thank you so much for joining us on the "the daily show" once again. >> thank you. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: be sure to watch christiane amanpour's show on cnn i which airs weekdays on pbs in the united states. we'll take a quick break and be right back after this. ( cheers and applause )
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♪ da-da-da-da-dah ♪ ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show"! my guest tonight is a writer, he o ease a director, he's an actor and he's a produce wanker who has built an entertainment empire. he's here to talk about his latest film a jazz man's blues which is now streaming on netflix. ♪ it don't mean a thing ♪ ♪ everybody got to sing ♪ ♪ doo-wop do doo-wop doowa ♪ ♪ >> trevor: please welcome tyler perry! ( cheers and applause )
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>> how are you? >> trevor: tyler perry. >> how are you? >> trevor: i played that clip and i said please welcome tyler perry, and i know some people are watching that going, is that tyler perry? you say tyler perry, what is happening here? >> yeah. >> trevor: this is a very different movie. people say, tyler perry, we think there will be a type of movie that comes out and this is it. tell me about the movie. >> madea is not in this. it's set in the '40s and she doesn't pop out from mind a tree and say hell-er. ( laughter ) i couldn't take a chance on doing a period pieces special ten, 15 years ago. so i made everything work and solidify myself so i can do all of the things i wanted to do and this is one of them. ( cheers and applause )
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>> trevor: wow. but, okay, so let's go back to the inception of this. tyler perry 26 years ago goes i want to make a story about jazz but more importantly a period piece in the 1940s about forbidden love. what attracted you to that time period. what made you want to seek it? >> i couldn't afford to go to a theater and i was sneaking in, in intermission. there was an august wilson play in atlanta called two trains running. the second half blew me away. there was an after-party and i got a chance to talk to them. i said, i'm doing this play, people aren't saying it's working well, chitlin' circuit, and i was feeling bad, and he was so encouraging. he said let me tell you about the power of the chitterling
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circle and what it did for black people, write what's on your heart and don't be limited. i went home and started writing jazz man, from august wilson. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: you're one of the most fascinating human beings in entertainment because you occupy so many zeitgeists. people have ideas about what you create. >> yeah. >> trevor: seems like you exist in spite of it. it's almost like you know. you even said to me, i want to make you watch a madea movie. >> i won't force you to watch a madea movie but i want you to watch this. >> trevor: yes. you know what i find interesting about that is how have you been able to operate or work in a world where so many people have an idea of what you create and why it should or shouldn't be created, and you haven't pigeon holed yourself. you've gone i create whatever i would like to create in spite of what people say about what i create. >> well, listen, number one, i'm very familiar with my audience.
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the audience that i grew up with, the people i know, i know what they love and like, i am them, they are me. when i'm telling those kind of stories, again, it's intentionality. the madeas of them all, why i got married. the stories helped me build a multi-billion-dollar brand in this studio so i knew that was the lane i had to walk in and i won't ever leave it because i love seeing it. >> trevor: i love that. >> but there are other sides to me. while i was getting panned by critics for madea, i always had jazz man in my back pocket, so to be in this moment it feels good to see people understand just because you come from one place and do one thing doesn't mean you have to stay there. >> trevor: i like it. i like it a lot. i also love how you have this connection with not just madea but the idea of madea, what the character has done for you, what the audience has done for you, what you built with them. i like you say i'm not just
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going to leave it now because it's a part of myself. >> yeah. >> trevor: i wondered, on a personal level seeing you as a human being, there was this moment where tyler perry blew up, is the best way to put it, all of a sudden all of the film was in atlanta and people were coming to your studio and marvel needed tyler perry's phone number and you became large wanker than life in the industry, you cede a new level of respect for black creators and studios, et cetera. ( applause ) it seemed like you were super confident as ma kiir and as tyler perry, you were, like, behinding yourself in this -- finding yourself in this journey. was i just seeing that or was i just projecting that on to you. >> you can't be more confident than madea. she is what she is. to be that size and have those breasts, you have to be super confident. i'm an introvert, i pose as an
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extrovert. i pose in those situations but i'm awkward. >> trevor: there was tyler perry with a six-pack and tyler perry started living this life. it's been amazing to watch, genuinely. i'll tell you why. it was something that oprah said to me that changed her life, she said, it was tyler perry who finally helped me realize that i made it, made money and rich. i said you're oprah. but she said, yes, i had grown up so poor and struggled so long that i never allowed myself to enjoy the fruits of my labor and tyler perry called me up and said, oprah, you're rich, relax. ( laughter ) who instilled that in you? >> nobody. i'm still waiting for it. ( laughter ) no, oprah left out a part of
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that. she gets off her private jet and she has garbage bag, mix-maxed luggage and i called her up and said oprah, buy luggage that matches, you're getting off a private plane. that's the part it seems to me left out of the story. she had already been that for me. even though she's a very wealthy woman and she has a lot, oprah is not, i got money, money, money. that's not who she is. the genuineness of her shows through and she showed me how to be graceful inside all of it. also sidney poitier, just the man with the class and grace and the way he held and carried himself, he was within of the first black men that i saw that had that kind of presence and i wanted to be like that and i never heard him talk about money. ( applause ) >> trevor: that is really mazing. you are a pioneer. oftentimes in life, they say it's easier to chase a goal other people set because you know where you're trying to get
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and once it becomes difficult there's no place else to go. you're at that place. what does tyler perry dream of? you can make the movies and write your own character. what do you dream about? >> i finished jazz man and shot it and i was coming out tomorrow or on netflix, the level of grief i felt was shocking to me because i had been holding on to it so long, it was like a kid going off to college and now you've got an empty nest. i was, like, what do i want to do next? >> trevor: this project was that important to you? >> yeah, and to hold it all the tile -- time it was really tough. but to get it go and be out there, it's a sense of grief. there's no other reason for me to do this other than come to the studio and work work alongse the people who have never had a chance in this business.
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i have people working in grip and electric who were form wanker
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( cheers and applause ) that's our show for tonight. before we go, please consider supporting world central kitchen on the front lines providing meals in response to humanitarian, climate crises. most recently in the dominican run rick and pakistan. this is an mazing story you can help if you have any means. stay safe and remember, the pound is now worthless.
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( laughter ) >> so just send them to me and i'll figure out what to do with them. here it is, your moment of zen. >> what you think you see is all kind of tracks here over florida and fewer over here. >> that's a penis! ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna have myself a time ♪ ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪ ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪ ♪ going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna leave my woes behind ♪ ♪ ample parking day or night ♪ ♪ people spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪ ♪ headin' on up to south park ♪ ♪ gonna see if i can't unwind ♪ (♪ mumbling ♪) ♪ come on down to south park ♪ ♪ and meet some friends of mine ♪ sgt. stanley marsh is trapped behind enemy lines. his only chance of survival
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is to sneak past the bosnian guard who stands watch. sgt. marsh knows it's now or never. he must make a run for it. the american base is only a few feet away... marsh assist, halt! (imitating gunfire) it will take more than your weak american weapons to destroy me. cartman, we shot your bosnian fat ass! yeah, you're dead! i have class-4 armor on that, uh... no, you don't! special armor that's impenetrable to american bullets. dude, every time we play americans vs. bosnians, you cheat! yeah cartman, you suck. if you want to play americans vs. bosnians anymore, you can just play with yourself. that's fine, i like playing with myself. i'll play with myself all day long. ha, ha, ha... what? well, now what are we gonna do? i don't know. hi, stan. hi, wendy. kyle, doesn't bebe look pretty today? i don't know. she does, she looks very pretty. okay. stan, can i talk to you for a second?
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stan, wouldn't it be fun if we fixed kyle up with bebe? no. if bebe and kyle were a couple, then we could invite them over to your clubhouse for dinner and play parlor games and have meaningful conversations and sip cognac by the fireplace. we could? yes, stan. but, dude, i don't have a clubhouse. you don't? i thought all guys had clubhouses. just how many guys' clubhouses have you been in? eh, cartman von cartman has ways of making you talk. (farting) aah! stan, you have to build a clubhouse. then all four of us could sit in it and play "truth or dare." truth or dare, wow! come on, kyle we've got work to do. we do? we've gonna build a clubhouse. i have to ask my dad for help. did it work? i think it did, bebe. if all goes as planned, kyle will be your new boyfriend! i hope so, wendy. he's got such a hot ass! hey, phillip, pull my finger. all right, terrence. ugh! oh, wait, wait, wait. pull harder. well, all right. ugh!
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ha, ha ha, ha, ha. damn it! pull really hard, phillip. okay. wait, wait, wait, wait. ugh, ugh... oh, boy! ugh, ugh... wait, wait... ugh... (farts) ha, ha, got you there. uh-oh, ha, ha, ha. oh, you got me, terrence. yes, i surely did. whoa, dude, your dad is watching terrence and phillip. no, i was just flipping through the channels. hey, dad, we need to build a clubhouse. okay. how do we do it? you just get a hammer and some wood. what, do some girls want to play truth or dare or something? yeah, dude, how'd you know? how do you think i met your mother? randy, my wedding ring. i lost it down the garbage disposal! oh, brother. ha, ha, ha. stanley, i thought i told you not to watch this horrible cartoon. yeah, stanley, you should know better. dude! here, stanley, you watch nice cartoons like "fat abbot." aw. randy, will you please come get my wedding ring out of sink! okay, okay. hey, hey, hey, what's going on, rudy?
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man, fat abbot, you need to lose weight. i'll lose weight when i feel like it, bitch! shut your bitch-ass mouth, ho! bitch? i'll kick your ass! whoa, dude! sweet! you think you're slick, you punk-ass, blasphemous, dope-fiend bitch. i had my jimmy wacked seven times last week. i'll bust a cap in your (bleep). wow, cartoons are getting really dirty. did you find it? give me a second, would you? don't snap at me! i didn't snap at you. you snapped at me! whatever. whatever? in 15 years, you've never said "whatever" to me. i don't want fight. i'm sorry. i'm sorry, too. well, i think i found it. that's not it, you idiot! hey, back off, bitch! (gasping) you just said the "c" word! did i? this is a sweet spot for a clubhouse. yeah. hey, stan, what did your dad mean when he said we're gonna play truth or dare? oh, just that maybe when we're finished, wendy and bebe can come over and play. dude, what kind of sick joke is that? girls suck ass. well, of course, they do, but, uh, wouldn't it be sweet to play truth or dare with them? what, why? because, dude, we could make them do really gross stuff


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