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tv   The Daily Show With Trevor Noah  Comedy Central  November 4, 2022 1:30am-2:00am PDT

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- out of scts? - timmy. - what? hey, wait a minut this is crazy. you can't do this. - wow, i never knew jimmy was gay. - me neither. - no, no! - tiy! captioning by aptionmax >> all right, next point wins. >> i got next. ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪
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♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> i think you knocked him out. >> what the hell is wrong with you? >> it was his fault. >> he gave me a head nod. >> he give you a head nod hello, not a head nod to shoot the ball from half-court. >> how am i supposed to know that? >> so i can't had not it people? >> both of you need to stick around so we can get your info for liability purposes. >> liability? ♪ ♪
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>> announcer: coming to you from atlanta, the last cool place to stop before you get to florida. it's "the daily show." tonight... the final stretch of the campaign trail. georgia voting obstacles. and dominique wilkins! this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> trevor: what's going on, atlanta? welcome to the show, everybody! thank you so much for coming out! good to see you! good to see you! thank you so much for being here! this is it! our final night in atlanta! we made it!
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we made it! thank you so much for tuning in! thank you for coming, take a seat. take a seat, everybody. oh, this has been fun. welcome to the final night of "the daily show" in atlanta, georgia, everybody! in atlanta! [cheers and applause] oh! i can feel the city starting to seep into my bones, i can feel it, you know? it feels good. i'm starting to become more and more atlanta, even the way i say it. when i first got here, i was saying "atlanta." "i'm in atlanta, i am in atlanta." then i started noticing, all of a sudden, it was like, "atlanna." "atlanna." the t was gone. the t started fading away. by the time i leave, i'm just going to be like, 'lanna. 'lanna. now i get how mumble rap was invented. i get it. just try to shrink all the words. [mumble raps] i get it now. oh, we have had so much fun. it has been so much fun, eaten the food, gone out, seeing the sights and sounds. yesterday, we went out as a
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whole group, we went to magic city, you know? [cheers and applause] oh, yeah. i will say, worst magicians ever. the only thing that disappeared was my money. and i got to say, we came to atlanta to have a good time, and i have not been disappointed, we have not been disappointed. we've been lucky that we came when we came because this has been a really momentous week in that freedom has been achieved in atlanta. i think you know what i'm talking about. as of this week, the atlanta zoo has announced that people are once again allowed to bring their guns when they visit. and i was like, wow. you really don't mess around with the second amendment in this town. the whole south. even at the zoo, people are strapped. just packing their lunch, being like, "and bring the glock, you never know." walking in, yeah, let's see
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that parrot say something. say something! "say something?" "say something." "say something?" "that's right." "that's right." "that's right." "you are pretty cool, parrot." if you ignore all the terrible reasons, having guns at the zoo is a pretty cool idea. you get to the zoo and what happens? the animals are sleeping when you get there. not anymore. you just walk up to them in the enclosure and go, bam, bam, oh, the panda is awake now! look at him! look at him running for cover! you know, the only way it can get more exciting if they said it's not just the people, you go all the way, they should give the animals guns too. i think that is what we should do. they are the ones that have to be there, it is only fair, give them guns as well, see what happens. it is going to be exciting. every single exhibit is going to turn into a mexican standoff. everyone walking in like, "honey, honey, keep the kids
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behind me, keep the kids behind me, stay cool. stay cool. penguins, stay cool. hey, sloths, no sudden moves, no sudden moves. snakes, let me see those hands. all right, nobody needs to go extinct today." [cheers and applause] atlanta! now look, obviously, other than the armed animals, the reason we're here, the reason we are excited to be here is because the midterms are around the corner. right? [cheers and applause] everybody focusing on georgia, five days away, and your races are coming down to the wire, can i tell you? herschel walker and raphael warnock, neck and neck! which is wild! herschel walker could be elected senator next week! [boos] i mean, i also hope it doesn't happen. that would be crazy. herschel walker as a senator?
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can you imagine how that would mess with the whole capitol? take your child to work today is going to feel like another insurrection. they are going to be like "they are storming the capitol, it's herschel walker's kids, all of his kids." he would be like, "allegedly my kids." this whole midterm campaign has gotten so extreme, it almost feels like republicans are running a political science experiment just to see how crazy a candidate can be and still get people to vote for them. it almost feels like that. what can they do before people say, no, i wouldn't vote for that? it's almost like mitch mcconnell is in the lab working away like, "all right, they voted for herschel walker, let's try a bag of wet spaghetti next. see if they go for that." and i don't know if you have seen this, but herschel walker has gone from beefing with
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reality to beefing with barack obama, i don't know if you have seen this. they have a thing going back because obviously, obama roasted him in georgia over the weekend and then walker shot back that he could "put his resume up against obama's anytime." and first of all, it wouldn't even matter if walker's resume was more impressive than obama because obama's has a line in his resume that says "not crazy." that carries a lot of weight in a job interview. but also, obama was president! people, he was president for 2 terms! herschel walker can't even carry any of his pregnancies to 2 terms! what are you talking about? are you serious right now? i am kidding. his resume is impressive. i mean, any resume is impressive when you can make it up. "i was a cop, a fbi agent, a ballerina, i discovered
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nitrogen, i also am nitrogen. the list goes on and on." but yeah, barack obama is back on the campaign trail, back out there trying to get people whipped up, trying to get the people voting, hitting the swing states around the country. last night, both obama and president biden made big speeches about how there is a lot more at stake in this election than which party gets to use the good bathroom at the senate. >> folks can win if we don't do our part. and if you've got election deniers serving as your governor, as your senator, as your secretary of state, as your attorney general, then democracy as we know it may not survive in arizona. that's not an exaggeration. that is a fact! >> this year, i hope you'll make the future of our democracy an important part of your decision to vote and how you vote. in our bones, we know democracy is at risk.
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>> trevor: what? what? i heard what he said, though. he said, "in our bones, we know democracy," that means we are screwed. whenever an old person feels something in their bones. that means a storm's a-coming. "i feel it in my bones." either that or osteoporosis but i think it is a storm." by the way, i love seeing biden and obama both doing speeches back-to-back. because sometimes you think that you are imagining it, you are like, obama had more energy and then when you see it, they have a very different "energies" that they bring. almost like seeing a before and after of a nyquil commercial, you know? i am not saying that one is better or worse, it's like the level of excitement.
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basically, obama is the beyonce concert, and biden is the traffic on the way home. do you know what i mean? that's what it feels like. actually, obama is like me before every dinner i've had in atlanta this week and biden is like me after every dinner i've had in atlanta this week. yeah, i would walk into busy bee like, "let's do this! i'm going to dominate this fried chicken plate!" and after, i'm like, "i do not feel confident about the future of my stomach." "i can feel it in my bones." but however they're saying it, obama and biden are making the same point, and it's a salient one. this election is about whether america wants to continue being a democracy. and that's actually a tough sell. believe it or not, it really is. because ironically, democracy isn't what's on people's minds right now. they're paying more for groceries, they're paying more for gas.
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and democrats are going, yeah, we know that sucks, but democracy. and voters are like, "can i eat democracy? can i fill my tank with democracy?" it's a challenge. it really is. it's a challenge because if you think about it, we didn't evolve like this. humans didn't evolve to think long-term. if you think about it, we aren't designed to put long-term problems over immediate problems, that is just how we are. the caveman who was worried about the saber-tooth tiger was worried about surviving, he survived. the caveman who was sitting in the cave like, "i wonder how we could make our hunting practices more sustainable," that guy died. he was right, but he died. and this is one of the flaws of democracy. it is a weird flaw when you consider it. it is not just the fact that it can fall at any time, it is also the fact that the people who are anti-democracy can use democracy to get into power and then end
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democracy. and if you want to see a silly example of how unpredictable voting can become a look at what happened when people got to vote on what their election sticker should look like. >> a sticker design contest that went viral this year is making good on its promise to an ulster county teen. >> a few months ago, the county's "i voted" sticker contest made headlines. all great designs. but one just happened to get some national attention. >> hudson rowan's design, you can see it right there, came away with more than 90% of the vote. man, that is crazy looking. officially becoming the county's new "i voted" sticker for the 2022 november election. >> trevor: see? see? that is what can happen. i do love this, don't get me wrong. i've always wanted to see rudy giuliani's baby pictures! but this is what can happen. and you know what they said,
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this sticker got 90% of the v vote. you realize there is no politician who gets that kind of support. but this competition got me thinking, people got so crazy over the stickers, in fact, i think we should use that. what we should do is we should use that energy. there's so many people who only vote for the sticker. i know some people who are like "i can't wait to vote until i get the sticker." "what about the election?" "i just want the sticker." maybe we should use the enthusiasm to save democracy. in addition to an "i voted" trigger, we should have a result that says "i accept the results of the election" sticker, that way, the day after the election when somebody is like, "the boat was stolen by robot" -- you want the sticker? "mike pence is lucky more t i le stickers more than his neck." when we come back, we will take a sneak peek at america's
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hottest voting competition. you don't want to miss it. we are in atlanta! the final night! thank you, everybody! thank you so much! thank you! [cheers and applause]
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whatever the morning brings, sip your sunshine! with 100% vitamin c, tropicana. [cheers and applause] >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." georgia's state republicans have passed several voting restrictions in the past year,
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which is both bad news and good news. the bad news is that the restrictions make voting in georgia much harder. the good news is that it's led to america's hottest new competition show. ♪ ♪ >> hello to you at home, i am roy wood jr., she is desi lydic and we welcome you to the most electrifying challenge and all of democracy. >> that's right, roy, we are live at the fulton county but a school where ballot casting warriors are ready to vote their hearts out but only if they can overcome the grueling and somehow legal obstacles placed before them. >> this is "georgia ninja boater." >> i'm sorry, i thought i was going to take that line. >> take it. >> this is george i -- ♪ ♪ >> all right, desi, let's meet today voters. >> this is trey johnson, this guy's abuse with the ballot. speak of the thing about his
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first vote was for obama. next, you know she never misses a vote, her elections are the only thing on the calendar. >> not even her grandkids birthdays? >> no, she has those memorized, all 12. >> that is way too many children. >> rookie voter event, this georgia tech sophomore has entered the arena. this meticulous biochemistry major has checked her registration four times. will it be enough? roy, as you know, voting is a cornerstone of democracy but that doesn't mean it is easy. >> no, it isn't, desi. georgia has close hundreds of poll locations in the past decade, so your first obstacle is getting to yours before it shuts down. [buzzer] >> that is why i mail in. >> and by some miracle their polling place is still open, the voters need to endure the unnecessary brutality of... the line.
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>> oh! painful! >> oh. >> calling jesus but jesus eight home. >> these motors are some of the most well trained in the entire country but that might not be enough to overcome some new rules like the aqua disqualifier. [siren wailing] >> sorry, water handouts are now illegal. it almost sounds made up but it's real. [laughs] now remember, you don't have to vote on election day. >> that's true, desi. you can always use a drop box but first, you have to find one. >> got to find one. c, roy, georgia got rid of so many drop boxes since 2020 but i'm sure the ones they kept are good enough, right? >> and she's down. oh, but a second effort by the contestant! >> so close. >> she was not close at all. >> this course really shows no mercy, roy. >> yes, unless you are voting in
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the suburbs and it's actually pretty easy. ♪ ♪ >> let's go! ♪ ♪ whoo! >> so good luck to all of our voters this year. >> good luck. i am desi lydic, this is where is roy wood jr., and remember to go to the bathroom first. >> i was in the line so long last election, i peed my pants. ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ >> trevor: roy wood jr. and desi lydic, everybody. thank you to all the contestants! all right, stay tuned because when we come back, atlanta legend dominique wilkins will be joining me on the show. you don't want to miss it. [cheers and applause]
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♪biggest, biggest, biggest♪ ♪this is the biggest bounce of the summer♪ ♪ay, ay, ay, ay, if you coming in,♪ ♪come, don't play play♪ [camera clicks] ♪if you feel too shy then watch pon me,♪ ♪watch pon me, watch, watch pon me♪ ♪shake your♪ ♪this the biggest bounce of the summer♪ ♪if you ain't coming that's a bummer♪ ♪freeze♪ ♪watch pon me♪ [car zooms] ♪ ♪bounce oi oi, biggest, oi oi, biggest oi oi, biggest♪ ♪this is the biggest bounce of the summer♪ [cheers and applause] >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight is an nba hall of famer known as
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"the human highlight film." he's currently vice president of basketball operations for th%-ún of the organization kulture city. please welcome dominique wilkins! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] the man, the myth, the large end. welcome to "the daily show." >> thank you, glad to be here, man. >> trevor: it is such a pleasure to have you on the phone. i told my brother, we are having dominique wilkins on the show, he said that's amazing, that's a legend, he loves basketball then he said, his nickname is the human highlight film. he said, you should change it to the human tiktok or human
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youtube because no one watches film anymore. the kids don't know what that is, but they still know your dunks, though. how does it feel to do something so well that regardless of the generation, people still recognize you as one of the greats, one of the greatest to ever do it? [cheers and applause] y>> you know, i always believed if you play, you play for the people, because the people make you who you are. i have been that way ever since i was in high school. i have played as hard as i could. i don't even know how to play at once. come and that is all out. it was a way that we looked at each other, the way we competed back in those days. we had no nights off. if you had to bring your a game everything a light. >> trevor: the game has completely changed because players now have an outsized influence as opposed to what your generation had. you see the news, even just recently, the brooklyn nets saying, okay, steve nash, it's time for you to go and people saying, wow, are we really living in an era where players
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have more power than the team/coach and not even commenting on that story, it seems like sports has changed, the nba has changed in terms of where the power lies. do you think it is good for the game? >> i think it is good things and bad things. i really admire these guys kind of, you know, having their own best, creating their own destiny to do something great for themselves. they do have a lot more power than we had because we didn't go to different teams. we played in one organization most of our career and i got to say, i was proud to play in atlanta for most of my career. [cheers and applause] because i could have went to other teams and play but i wanted to win here. it didn't happen, but when i look back on it, i don't have any regrets. i love the fact that they have their own power now. now back in our day, there's things i loved more from a competition standpoint, when you've got to play against magic johnson one night, jordan
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one night, doctor jay one night, this is every single night. it was tough every night out. and so i had to make sure that i was focused, had to make sure our team was focused to compete on the level that the organization expected. and so for me, atlanta really -- the people in atlanta, you guys made me who i am. [cheers and applause] i feel like they are made of sun here. i have never left. even though i played for other teams, i've never really left atlanta, atlanta is my home even though i'm not from here. >> trevor: i love that. you made it your home and you have created so much in that new home. i would love to talk about what you do outside of basketball even though it ties into sport as a whole, and in particular, talking about the kulture city, you are part of an organization that really is tasked with more inclusivity, finding people who have venues or areas of their world and lives that don't cater
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to them, you know, it feels like this becomes the second competition for you to engage in. what is your end goal? what do you hope society as a whole will get to? >> you know, health care is kind of my calling now. i didn't realize how much it meant to me until my daughter was affected by a special needs and kulture city had been an organization for so many people, we have over 1200 venues around the world that we have trained people how to deal with people dealing with special needs and most of the people, the majority of people have hidden disabilities. so it's a lot of hidden disabilities, visible disabilities, ptsd, all of these different things that we deal with every day. but we take those problems head on and we help people change their lives. it's all about helping out. [cheers and applause] >> trevor: thank you so much for being on the show. i really appreciate it. dominique wilkins, everybody! [cheers and applause] we got to take a quick break.
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we will be right back after this. thank you so much. [cheers and applause] ♪ whatever the morning brings, sip your sunshine!
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with 100% vitamin c, tropicana. >> trevor: that's our shofar tonight and that's us for atlanta for the week! thank you for tuning in! thank you to the tabernacle theater and the city of atlanta for having us as your guest! we had an incredible time and we can't wait to come back! now here it is, your "moment of zen." [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna have myself a time ♪ both: ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪ ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪ - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna leave my woes behind ♪
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- ♪ ample parking day or night ♪ ♪ people spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪ - ♪ headin' on up to south park ♪ ♪ gonna see if i can't unwind ♪ - ♪ [muffled] ♪ - ♪ come on down to south park ♪ ♪ and meet some friends of mine ♪ - and so, in her career filled with lies, back-stabbing and whoring herself for money, she learned that the price of fame can be pleasing 65 men at once in a dark, dirty alley. and so ends punky brewster: behind the blow. - whoa, bummer, dude. - okay, dude, it's 3:30. - it's time for the terrance and phillip show. all: yay! - excuse me, buddy. - why, did you fart? - oh, no! - oh, man, this is another rerun. - are you sure? i haven't seen it. - yeah, fatass, this is their famous mechanic sketch. - i'm looking for a mechanic. can you tell me how to get to the auto garage? - sure, buddy, all you need to do is go down to the-- [farts] and that's how you-- [together] "get to the auto garage." - could you tell me how to get to the auto garage without farting? - sure, you go the same way-- - "except stick your finger up your ass."


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