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tv   The Daily Show With Trevor Noah  Comedy Central  November 9, 2022 11:00pm-11:45pm PST

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trudy! holy crap. trudy, trudy! - frank. - oh, thank god you're not dead. how you-- - what? - oh. [sniffs] whoa. oh, there's a lot of gas fumes in here, trudy. - [groans] - i don't think we should be in here. - he had some teeth in a jar, but he told me i could sell them on the internet to make some money. - you know what? i'm just gonna lay down for a second. - yeah, no, it's really fumey. - i'm just gonna lay down for a second. oh, my god. - it's fumey, right? but doesn't it feel good to just-- - it does feel just-- - oh, it feels good. 'cause i'm just tired. i just want to take another nap. sometimes... i used to find bones... under the sink. ♪ ♪ >> announcer: coming to you from new york city, the only city in america, it's "the daily show." tonight... election day is finally over! slavery is also over. and mark leibovich! this is "the daily show
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with trevor noah." ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> trevor: what's going on, everybody? welcome to "the daily show." i'm trevor noah. thank you so much for tuning in. thank you coming out in person. it's good to be here right now! [cheers and applause] we are going to have so much fun. take a seat, everybody. we've got a great show. all the big postelection day news, republicans won but somehow also lost. donald trump is throwing melania under the bus and and slavery is now illegal almost everywhere. so let's do this, people. let's jump straight into all the results in another edition of "votedemic 2022." ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] so, going into last night's midterms, almost everyone was expecting a huge night for republicans, a "red wave" that
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would wash away the democrats in congress and yank off joe biden's swim trunks so everyone could see his old man butt. but now, the votes are in, and already, people are realizing that although there's still a lot left to count, it's already clear that the red wave did not show up. >> this morning, control of congress up in the air with both the house and senate still hanging in the balance. republicans acknowledging the expected red wave never materialized. >> with five races still to call, it's unclear who will control the senate. control of the house is leaning republican but only barely. democrats overall are doing much better than expected. >> that predicted red wave only appears to be a splash, if you will. >> the word "wave" has no application yet to what we are seeing. this might feel like more the edge of a lake. >> this really looks much more like a red whisper, if that. >> this was not even a red wave. it's not even a red ripple in a pond.
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>> i've heard it called the red sprinkler, heard it called the red splash, the red puddle. >> trevor: red drizzle, it's a red spritz. you know when you're peeing but then a little bit comes out after you're done? it's a red one of those. should probably get that checked out, by the way. some of these didn't even make sense. i'm sorry, but what is a red whisper? is that like asmr for conservatives? [whispering, crumpling paper] >> "now i'm crumpling up the voting rights act. oh, yeah." but yes, last night was not the red wave that many people expected it to be. and to be clear, republicans are still in good shape to take control of the house, and they may even take control of the senate when it's all said and done. it's too early to tell because america counts votes the way as slowly as george r.r. martin writes books.
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but it's definitely not the huge win they were expecting, so it feels like a loss. which is really strange to me about politics. the only place you can technically won but still lose because people thought you were going to win more. basically, republicans got the handjob version of winning. yeah, it got the job done but no one's really happy about it. you know? could have done that to myself. and again, lots of races are still undecided. arizona and nevada won't be done counting votes for a few more days, we won't know who won alaska's races until the dog sled arrives. and the big senate race in georgia looks like it's headed to a run-off in december, which will really screw up herschel walker's brain anymore. "another election? has it been six years already? that means i've got 35 children now. oh, wow." but one big race that was
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decided last night was in pennsylvania, where john fetterman defeated dr. oz. [cheers and applause] which, you've got to admit is exciting for the capital because nobody in the senate to look like this guy. have you seen this? he's massive. he's got the bald head, the hoodie, which is dope. senators normally look like your dad's boss from work. john fetterman looks like he can physically raise the debt ceiling. "$37 trillion!" and one of the reasons so many people were surprised by last night's result is that for weeks, pundits have been saying that there were only a few issues that really matter to americans right now. like inflation, crime, and whatever the hell is going on with twitter checkmarks. and in particular, the experts were saying that voter concerns about abortion had faded since the summer. i guess all those experts have
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been fired and will never be allowed back on television, because it turns out they were just a little bit wrong. >> the issue of abortion turned out to be a massive factor yesterday, with the supreme court's decision in the dobbs case to overturn roe v. wade playing a much bigger role than polls before the election suggested. >> voters in michigan, vermont, and california, voters chose to enshrine reproductive rights into their constitution. the biggest surprise were in kentucky were voters rejected an antiabortion constitutional amendment. >> it was a huge night for abortion rights across the country. i mean, women voted in droves. yes, but people said a few weeks ago -- "didn't matter, it's fading," -- turns out that wasn't right. >> trevor: yeah! it turns out abortion rights did not fade away as a concern. it's a little crazy that people ever thought it would. like what woman out there would be like, "you know, it really bothered me over the summer that my state government wanted to take control of my reproductive system but i don't know, maybe
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my body is their choice." looks like abortion rights were the big winner last night and looks like the big loser was none other than donald "jump the shark" trump. because so far, it looks like many of the candidates he endorsed ended up being unendorsed by the voters. >> here's what we know for sure this morning. it was a disappointing night for former president trump. >> the biggest loser last night was donald trump. in state after state, candidates that he brought to the race, candidates that he endorsed, did not win or are losing right now. >> but perhaps the worst result for trump is that his biggest republican rival had the best night of anybody. >> florida governor ron desantis might have moved closer to a possible 2024 presidential bid with a commanding victory over former governor charlie crist. >> trevor: that's right, it was bad night for trump and a great night for his rival
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ron desanctimonious. absolutely crushed it in florida, like bath salts crushed at. looks like trump is not taking it well. "shouldn't it be said that in 2020, i got o 1.1 million votes, just asking." [cheers and applause] oh, wow. you see what you have done, ron desantis? you see what you have done? you have made trump so mad, he has done math! "4.6 times 5.7" -- sounding like shakespeare. "shouldn't it be said?" sounding like shakespeare. here is the thing that is exciting about this, desantis success combined with trump's failures is already causing chaos in the republican party. because no republican's are asking themselves, what do we
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do? do we stick with trump who had screwed up two elections now but still controls all of the hard-core republicans? it is also completely toxic with everybody else? or do we go with ron desantis? clearly the upgrade of trump but then you risk losing trump and then he burns down the entire g.o.p. what do you do? it is so funny to watch because all of these conservatives, they don't know what to do. they are like "do i go with trump? do i go with desantis? if i had principals, i would follow them but i just want to be on the winning side. which one do i pick?" you know, right now, conservatives in america are like kids who can see a bad divorce coming and they want to pick sides but they are not sure which parent is going to keep the house. but it is true. trump had a tough night, the poor guy was sitting at home watching his top election deniers lose and crying into a box of classified documents. "nuclear."
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but because this is donald trump come he is not taking responsibility. in fact, it's being reported that he is blaming melania for pushing him to endorse dr. oz in the first place, saying it was "not her best decision." i'm sure in response, melania was like "yes, it is very true, i am bad at picking men." but not everything about the election was about democrats or republicans. so let's take a moment to appreciate all the historic moments from last night. >> we want to tell you about several historic firsts across the country. in alabama, cbs news is projecting republican katie britt, the winner in the race for u.s. senate. she is the first woman ever elected to the senate in alabama. in maryland, democrat wes moore will be the stat'es first black governor. in massachusetts, history was made on two fronts. democratic attorney general maura healey will become the first female governor in the
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state history and she will also be the first openly lesbian governor. election history was also made in florida. 25-year-old democrat maxwell frost is set to be the first member of generation z to win a seat in congress. >> trevor: wow, a 25-year-old congressman! that's going to be great to have a young person in congress. and by young, i mean "under 85." i mean, it will be tough, though, being that young around that many old people. half his time is going to be spent helping them with their phones. he'll be in the middle of the speech, like, "and that's why my district and the people deserve -- what, chuck? no, just swipe up to close the app. swipe up. no, don't click that! there aren't really hot singles in your area, it's a trick! it's a trick!" and there are a lot of other cool firsts, too.
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women firsts, lgbtq firsts, immigrant firsts. honestly, i almost feel bad for anyone who won and it wasn't a historic first. there was probably some straight white guy last night giving his speech like, "it's an honor to be the first governor in state history who, uh, can do this? pretty sick, right? yeah, yeah, no? just me." all right, that's it for the headlines. but before we go to a break, it's time to check in on the weather forecast with our very own desi lydic, everybody! [cheers and applause] good to see you again, desi. [cheers and applause] you know, it's getting cold in the east, there is a storm's everywhere. what is the weather looking like? >> the weather is great. look outside. what i wanted to talk about is how people came out and voted for abortion rights all over this country. [cheers and applause] big deal. big deal. included my home state of kentucky! [cheers and applause] yeah! >> trevor: that was shocking.
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>> huge, kentucky, trevor, the state where women have fewer rights than most horses. it is true. i mean come and college, i had to get my birth control for my horse vet. >> trevor: wow them a veterinarian, that is terrible, desi. >> yeah, right, they also had ketamine so it wasn't all bad. that year i went on to win the belmont. also, new york and massachusetts elected female governors for the first time! [cheers and applause] yeah! which is a win. it is a win. but if we are being honest, like, how is this only happening now? in new york and massachusetts? these two states have been state since the beginning of states. you know how long women have been around? like, at least that long, may be more. oh, and how about that ron desantis victory last night? oh, my god. i almost feel bad for
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donald trump, you know? he had to smile and clap for desantis on the outside when he was fuming with jealousy on the inside. trump finally felt like one of his beauty pageant contestants. >> trevor: [laughs] [cheers and applause] >> and perhaps, the best news is that the massive red wave only had florida! oh, man. and i think all women can agree, it is always a good thing when you're red wave is lighter than expected. [cheers and applause] i just want to say, i get how republicans are feeling. sometimes, you expect your red wave to arrive and it doesn't. and then you start to panic. you consider your options, which are suddenly very limited.
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plus... [cheers and applause] plus, with this runoff in georgia, you might not know if you're red wave is coming for another few weeks, and by then it might be too late. the next thing you know, herschel walker is sending you a get well card with a check and it. anyway, i just want to say, to all of those republicans who are feeling this way, don't stress. trust me. i've got a great veterinarian in kentucky you can call. [cheers and applause] >> trevor: desi lydic, everybody! thank you so much. when we come back, we'll talk about a surprising result from last night that most people don't know about, so don't go away. [cheers and applause]
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[cheers and applause] >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." yesterday's election wasn't just about politicians; people also voted on ballot issues.
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for instance, connecticut voted to implement an early voting system, california voted against legalizing mobile gaming, and maryland voted to legalize marijuana. so finally, you can buy drugs in baltimore. all right? but a big ballot measure in several states involved slavery. and i'm not talking about teaching about slavery, i'm talking about actual slavery. >> five states were voting on constitutional amendments to ban slavery, and not all of them passed those bans. in all, five states were voting on removing slavery from their constitutions. vermont, alabama, tennessee all voted to ban slavery as punishment for a crime. louisiana, a former slave state, rejected that amendment. >> trevor: all right, america, 4 out of 5 states said no to slavery in the year 2022! that is what i'm talking about! now we just need to invent electricity and we are living in the future, baby! oh, i can't wait!
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yet, as you heard, louisiana, unlike those other woke states, voted against ending slavery. yeah. for more on that, we go live now to roy wood jr., everybody! [cheers and applause] >> hello. what's going on? >> trevor: the reason we are coming to is because you are in louisiana right now. i would love to know -- >> no, no, no. i am not in louisiana, i am on the mississippi side of the border, and that is as far as i'm going, but i am definitely not going in. you can't tell me a place just voted yes on slavery and asked me to go there, i am to old, too tired, i don't see good, i can't be a slave. >> trevor: this is bad, this is bad, yes, but it doesn't apply to you. this is about forcing prisoners to perform labor for free.
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>> all, is that right? i didn't realize that, my bad, man, you are right. let me just mosey on into louisiana -- boom, next thing you know, i walk around and they got me for jaywalking, now i am "12 years a slave," i got to wait for brad pitt to save my ass. no, thank you, i am safer here in mississippi, which is something no black man has ever said. mississippi -- >> trevor: fair enough, fair enough, roy. at least your home state of alabama voted last night to ban slavery and at one rock the vote by 75%! that's amazing. >> yeah, but that means 25% voted to keep slavery! that's a lot of people. now every time up at the grocery store, i am looking around looking to see who voted to enslave my ass. i think mrs. patterson is the one. she's always saying to "oh, baby, you grew up so strong," get your hands off of me,
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squeezing my muscles, sizing me up, this is terrible for black people. >> trevor: technically come under these laws, everyone, even my people can be enslaved. -- even white people. >> no bullshit. why didn't they lead with that, they can make white people slaves, that is the most progressive thing i've ever heard. >> trevor: no, i think you misunderstand. they are not going to make white people. >> i know you can't make them. you got to catch them on your own. you know what, i think i might head to louisiana, get me a white slave, i will see you later. >> freeze, you are under arrest for jaywalking! >> no, no, no! they are trying to get me, trevor! >> trevor: oh, shit, good luck with that, roy. roy wood jr., everybody. all right, stay tuned because when we come back, mark leibovich will be joining me on the show. so don't go away. [cheers and applause]
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[cheers and applause] >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight is a staff writer at "the atlantic" who's
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here to discuss the midterm results and his latest number one "new york times" best-seller: "thank you for your servitude: donald trump's washington and the price of submission." please welcome mark leibovich! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ mark leibovich, welcome back to "the daily show." >> trevor, thank you for having me. >> trevor: congratulations on another "new york times" number one book. this is great, you are one of the best writers out there, not just because of how you write about because of how you capture the world that you observe. and it is politics. talking about trump, talking about the republicans, the democrats and how they respond with this book is really interesting because it is about the hold that donald trump pass on the republican party. and you talk about it in a way that i think few people
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understand. tell me why it is servitude and not just him being the head honcho. >> because the republican party has surrendered to donald trump -- i lost my voice last night. >> trevor: i understand. >> they have surrendered, and this is not another book about donald trump. this is a book about the party that enabled him, a book about the people who bow down to him, who could have stopped him, and yet continued to underperform in elections, like they did last night. the reason is, trump is sort of an anchor around their necks. and no one is standing up to them. i want to give readers a sense of what this looks like. >> trevor: you have given us more than just a sense because we saw a glimpse of this when the primaries were still taking place. you had all these republicans who were like "trump is not the republican party," marco rubio, ted cruz, lindsey graham, on the show saying donald trump will never be the face, i would never support come all these things. trump wins at almost overnight, everyone falls into line.
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everybody becomes pro trump, but because of the interviews, some people are anonymous, some people on the record saying, no, we hate this guy but we care about winning more than anything else, so we are going to work to keep him in power. it is such a weird dynamic. >> i was stunned by what they said to me, both on the record and obviously their dirty little secret inside washington is that most republicans who absolutely bow down to him in public trash him in private. and there are a lot of people last night and the republican party who were saying, don't jump into this, that is another election he coughed up to us. the first president in 100 years to lose the white house, the house, and the senate, and then underperformed it another election last night. but they are always saying it privately. i will think that this bell has been broken when i see some people actually speaking publicly about what he has been. [applause]
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>> trevor: it's interesting that you say that, because as we read through these conversations in the book -- i love how the book sort of starts with the trump hotel and what represents a moment in time, a moment where he's at his peak and how people literally, and physically almost bow to his shrine and at the end where it is now, you know, almost like a vacated version of its former self. but the party seems different in that republicans are murmuring but nobody is saying things. you see what people are saying, it wasn't ideal that trump did this -- they are scared of him, though. they have given him the party or he has taken it but they seem scared of him. >> it has been depressing to watch it play out over the years. what i was scared about was yesterday's election being the red wave that so many people anticipated, which would have indicated all of this. it would have vindicated the character flaws, the weakness, the pathetic mess that so many of them who could stop it, and if there were ten liz cheneys, but there is only one.
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>> trevor: i think it is also illuminating something that is actually -- i don't even know how to say this correctly -- but it's weird because trump is almost more honorable than they are. because he says what he is saying, he does what he is doing. they say what they are saying in private but when they do what he is doing in public, and so you know what i mean? where does that leave a country where lawmakers don't believe what they are voting for, don't believe what they are kowtowing to, where does that leave america and how did they feel about the position they are putting the country and? >> what does it say about the party when donald trump is the honorable one, right? [cheers and applause] also, given how vulnerable democrats were last night, how unpopular biden is, how bad inflation is, all of those issues, to still underperform to the degree they did is an indication of how voters are saying that we don't like this either. we like this worse. so i think it is all relative.
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>> trevor: where do you think this goes now? not just as somebody who talks to them, somebody who analyzes it, someone who has been in many of the rooms where these discussions are being held, it feels like you watch fox news now, you can see people being a little more vocal saying that desantis is the future, desantis is a guy we should go with, desantis, desantis, but there are still at "but trump, but trump come about trump." unless trump stands down, you have one of the craziest quotes i have ever seen from somebody who is a lawmaker who says, what is your plan for 2024? and the person says, dead serious, "our plan is to hope that he's dead by then." no, this is a quote. >> it's a quote. >> trevor: they are saying this. we don't have another way, we don't know what to do. >> it is crass, it is depressing, but it also goes to the passivity of what these folks are doing. someone else will take care of the problem. even now, no one has spoke up. all of the dash like i said, all
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of the criticisms of trump in private. so i just don't think -- and these are weak people. these are people who have sold whatever they have sold. they have given up for the price of submission. as lindsey graham says, if you don't want to be real, you are in the wrong business. at a certain point, you start to ask yourself, is it worth it? >> trevor: yeah, it really illuminates i think many of the things that are wrong with american politics and that it has become more about staying in the job as opposed to doing the job that somebody has put you in. [applause] >> absolutely. >> trevor: and it leaves the country in a place where everything is for show, everything is for an idea, and so when you look at it now, just hearing the whispers, hearing everyone -- even the people speaking publicly to you, is this the moment where the party says, okay, ed is going to be ron desantis? or are they still just waiting to see what trump decide to do with the republican party? >> you know, i have had a lot of moments where i thought the
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fever was going to break. if january 6th didn't do it, if him losing to joe biden didn't do it, i don't think this is going to do it. >> trevor: wow. wow. so as somebody then who talks to these politicians, i would love to know where you see it all going from here. because on the one hand, you have the democrats who have joe biden -- and i remember, you wrote an article about joe biden, which really blew up over the summer. it was about him being too old to run in 2024. you said, hey, joe, you've done what you said you want to do. >> i broke the story he is old. full credit. >> trevor: [laughs] but you came out and you said something that got you a lot of flack but also made people say, yeah, i didn't want to say it, but it's true. i don't people remember but joe biden said i only want to run to beat donald trump and that is all i am doing and now it seems like he may want to run again. but you are one of the first people to say, don't run again.
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my question becomes, what do the democrats do? because on the one hand, yes, joe biden's old. yes come on the one hand, he may have been the person to beat trump, et cetera, but on the other hand, and incumbent has the feeling of it's the status quo, people don't like presidents changing all the time, that is why trump losing was such an anomaly. what you think the option is for the democrats? is there a risk that if they put someone up, that person is a toss-up in the election? >> the thing about trump, he is not only made the republicans scared, he's made the democrats risk averse. they are afraid of trying someone new or exciting or different. i mean, joe biden is the most important contribution to the democratic party arguably the country who is beating donald trump on november 3rd, 2020, whatever election day was. the problem is, governing is a bit of a bitch as we learned. he might be called upon to do it again. but the democrats have an
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obvious and deep bench, but i did believe that if some of the people, like tim ryan were to somehow win last night, they would immediately emerge. may be john fetterman, maybe pete buttigieg, maybe a few others. >> trevor: to your point about being risk-averse, the history of the democratic party has shown that they have often had the fresh off the bench person. barack obama was the young senator. you look at all of these -- bill clinton was the young upstart and people do not expect it, so maybe that is where the path lies isn't taking a risk. but from your book, it seems like nobody wants to take the risk and it seems like because of that, the country is in a really scary place because it feels like it is risk-averse and yet heading to the riskiest place of all. >> indeed. on that note, it is a really fun beach read. >> trevor: it is an amazing book. i will tell you that. thank you so much for being on the show. we will see you again. "thank you for your servitude" is available now or ever you
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your books. we will take a quick break. we'll be right after this. [cheers
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[cheers and applause] >> trevor: well, that's our show for tonight, thank you so much for tuning in but before we go, i want to tell you real quick about our newest "the daily show" pasta podcast, "jordan klepper figure the conspiracy." in this limited series, jordan will step off the trump trail and dig into some of the wildest conspiracy theories he has heard and trace their origins with journalists, experts, and anyone who might know when jfk junior is coming back from the dead. now new episodes are going to be
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available wednesdays on apple podcast, iheartradio app, wherever you get your podcasts. you can also watch and listen at daily now here it is, your "moment of zen." >> flashback. >> on election night, to ask from right, there will be a red wave. >> there is a red wave coming and it will be a tsunami. >> the red wave, read tsunami. >> we are not just going to see a red wave. we will see a red tsunami. >> a red hurricane. >> my mom think there is going to be a red way. >> red wave, tsunami. >> red by. >> to be a massive red way. >> many on my comparable hours later... speak of the state ♪ campbell soup, on a mission to rehabilitate the word chunky. tonight on "tooning out the news" special coverage of the


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