tv In the Country We Love CSPAN November 5, 2016 1:00pm-1:51pm EDT
segregated today than they were before the civil rights movement. you can watch this and other programs on linux booktv.org. here's a look at some authors recently featured on "after words," our weekly author interview program. columbia university professor tim wu explains advertising and former goldman sachs vice president described her experience as an undocumented immigrant. professor sarah explained possible solutions to the rising college tuition costs into the coming weeks, harvard university economist will talk about his research on the impact of immigration on the u.s. economy. gary young editor in large for the guardian will discuss his investigation of gun violence in
america. .. i think we have the option of distributing more in the short run but slow down growth and look at the difference between the growth rate of the united states and europe, the difference between income levels of the united states and japan. they get bigger and bigger and differences get bigger and ÷÷÷÷÷ bigger in the ability of those countries to catch up now that they have fallen behind it is unlikely they can catch up unless we have a major shift in technology or something else, we are heading towards
consciousness with computers and the internet. we have a big advantage we can't sustain forever but we have a big competitive advantage today. >> afterward there is on booktv every saturday at 10:00 pm and sunday at 9:00 pm eastern would you can watch all previous our wards programs on÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷ website booktv.org. [inaudible conversations] >> beginning now on booktv on c-span2 here is actress diane guerrero. her book is "in the country we love". this is booktv on c-span2 live from the texas book festival.
to the c-span tend. we love the rain, don't week? we love our guest author who is here. let me tell you briefly about her if you don't already know. must because you are filling this tense.÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷ she is an actress currently featured in a recurring role in the successful hit show orange is the new black now in its fourth season, fifth season. i need to do more binge watching. she is also in jane is a virgin. isn't that a great show? she is busy as a volunteer with immigrant legal resource center and she has also been named and ambassador for citizenship by the white house, she lives in ÷÷ new york city and she is among our featured authors here at the
texas book festival. she joined us now to discuss her book in "in the country we love". give a big texas welcome to diane guerrero. [applause] >> i'm so happy to be here, my first time in texas and austin is wonderful. i like it. she was at the gala last night. >> i am deaf from last night. is this good. we want to get to the heart of the book, if you have read it raise your hand. you will know where i am when i ask these questions. all the tent people who are going to buy it and go to the
this.igning after÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷ the book opens -- we already got kleenexes out because it is that emotional. the book opens the day you come home and your life is forever changed, your parents are gone. there were some stark memories from that day. share with us what you remember and what you ÷÷÷÷÷÷÷ regret. >> i had just started my first year in high school. it was a special time for me because i struggled in school in the past and also the schools that were available to me were tough, they were very tough
schools and very tough neighborhoods. i was little and when the. i couldn't defend myself. that is a joke. i really couldn't but that is not why i was so scared. i was scared because i felt i would be lost in the crowd and get the education i ÷÷÷ needed especially for someone with difficulty learning and thinking things up and i really liked the arts. i felt i needed a creati way to understand things like history and english and math. i needed a creative space. i was afraid to go to a regular public school because a lot of kids didn't pay attention. hard for teachers to control classes.
because i do more÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷ had a vision of being something more than was offered to me. a counselor suggested that i audition for a performance arts type school. i got in the music program and it was a special time, my life was looking up around that time. i lived in fear with my parents since they were undocumented. that was a reality for a long time. did you file this paper correctly? who is down the street? this person said they got their papers. why are we still in this position, that was the trauma i heard for a long time. today in particular my mother breakfast and ve÷÷
i was late to school but i didn't like to be late to school, it was a school i really loved and we had a huge fight that morning so when i got home, the whole day i thought about this fight with my mother, she was just trying to feed me. why what i have this petty fight? i was so angry but i don't want to share the happiness with my mother and father because 15-year-olds often do. so when i got home i was ready to tell them about the great day i had and how sorry i was, stopped by, went -- my dad gave me 50 bucks, he won -- not a lot of money but it was a sign that
things were looking up for us because we were always so worried about money. he gave me $50 so i stopped by o get new sneakers and stopped÷ by and bought some adidas, and east coast thing. >> host: not an endorsement. >> guest: i was worried about the fight i had with my mother and stopped by a pay phone. some kids had cell phones but i sure as hell didn't so i stopped by a cell phone, tried to call my parents. only a block away i was desperate to tell my mother i am sorry and i loved her and didn't want to fight with her and i was am a block soon, i÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷ away and feeling all sorts of emotions as i walk in and they are gone and the neighbor came
and told me that, they had been taken away by immigration, had taken them away. that was hard for me as a 14-year-old and seeing that my started, inner was÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷ rice and beans and they were gone and it was really sad. >> host: that day, you regret the fight, everything that led up to that day, it was a turning point, not just for you, your family or your future. following that, tell us a little bit about the struggles, the in and out, meetings with lawyers,
how that affected your feelings about leaving the house, leaving your neighborhood. living under a shadow, living in shadow. scary to face s÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷ people. i kept this a secret for so long and now my folks are gone and i was there by myself and felt -- i didn't know what to do. >> host: nobody came to check on you. >> guest: i waited. i cried and it was upsetting. my dad had mentally prepared me for a long time. he would say the day comes, why are you saying that? stop saying i might walk in one but nd you won't be there÷÷÷÷÷÷ dad was a realist, this is our ÷
reality what we are living with. mentally prepared me and told me what to do. right after that i said okay, diane, you need to think, what are you going to do. i picked myself up, got the phone and called close friends and they came over right away and we waited there to see if any government official would come. no one came. i saw no option but to go with them and be with them until i got a call. >> host: here you are, 14, the boston academy of arts thriving as a young adult with this heavy burden you are facing.
how does your life move forward? where you able to maintain your creative outlets? >> i made the decision to stay. i could have gone why don't you go with your family? why do we care about this? why not go with your family and it is not our problem anymore but i am an american citizen, born in new jersey and the us is all i know. i didn't see any other option. my parents didn't have a lot of money. it is hard to do anything without money and status so i was going to go to the unknown and i needed this school.
i saw my parents as my ticket out so i decided to stay and further my education and fight ÷ good fight on my own so i could make my parents proud, make something of myself and maybe bring them back one day. >> host: one thing that touched me with your involvement in a car accident. share with us what happened that influenced because of the deportation. >> guest: i didn't like to rock the boat, i couldn't watch anything, didn't feel i deserved anything and if something happened to me or i got sick, i would be scared to tell anybody about it.
i went to the store and got hit÷ by a car. i didn't tell anybody about it. i had -- later on i found out i broke my wrist and had internal bruising but nothing else. i didn't want to tell my friends because i was afraid they would make me leave or that i wouldn't have a place to stay because they were nervous about keeping me. a lot of us go through that when you are alone without your parents and trying to survive. later on i told them because my wrist hurts so bad. >> the fact you didn't want to seek medical attention for fear of the consequences. >> guest: not the smartest
thing. >> host: speaks volumes, the hesitancy that rules your ÷÷÷÷÷÷ actions, you wonder how many youngsters that are left behind do the same thing. what are they missing out on the q are they fearful? tell us about visiting your mother when she was being held to the deportation process for a an easy , not÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷ experience to face. >> host: >> guest: i was hard what ranking, going to see her was difficult and didn't know as much about prison as i do now.
weird how it worked. really? i am really grateful for the work. so i was scary to see her at such a low point. all she wanted to do -- all i wanted was to be with her and i was really angry. >> host: that anger led to some alienation. that is not easy because as a mom of twin daughters, they fight you when you are around at 14 but they want you there and you have somebody else in this
between hting a battle÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷ you and your mom is right there in your map, your living room. let's talk about moving beyond that because there were so many years that transpired from when they were deported to your continued education, schooling, living with other friends, how was that always present in your life? >> guest: i did what i always do, buried it. i suppressed a lot of my anger and sadness, wasn't taking any phone calls and blamed them for
everything. i was angry. i was voted most happy-go-lucky in school. seriously. so no one knew that i was going through all this. i was very quiet about it. when i got to college i decided to be crazy and let it all ÷÷÷÷÷ affect me in negative ways. that is another chapter. when politicians don't tell you about what happens to the family, what happens to the children, that hurt, that pain doesn't end that day your parents or family is taken away. it lasts for years. i still see someone, mental health is something we don't talk about especially in communities i grew up in which you are not allowed to be upset or sad.
okay?÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷ go clean something. not allowed to be sad. like a first world thing. even if you are living in one, it is not for you. it is for people with money, people who have cozier lives. you are not allowed to be upset. but i learned a lot about myself and therapy allowed me to be here right now. >> host: we would like to take a reading from your book. the passage we are going to listen to present a clear vision of how she saw herself. >> host: the >> guest: the five people that read it know that i have -- >> host: so far.
how i let myself down. usually she let me vent fully before she spoke. on this day she interrupted me. you want to know something? you are not your mistakes. lorraine stared at me for the longest time, tongue in the air, look up at her again. your failures -- i want to say do not and i said -- your failures -- not about what you do. i dropped my eyes to the floor and let that sink in.÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷ i spent my childhood trying to be the good catholic girl. trying to show everyone i wasn't
going to be that child, daughter of immigrants, completely worn out, didn't have it in me to keep pressing forward. had thrown my hands up, making me in my own eyes a total ÷÷÷÷÷÷ screwup but making me a human being who deserved to be here. pick yourself up and try again. what a revelation. through our gut instinct, circumstances, and in my case, sent to me at the right juncture, lorraine showed up in i needed a friend.÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷ it was all she could do because
i reached that place we all get to where no amount of compassion or love can change things. as i had done on the rooftop i had to close my eyes and make a choice to make it better for myself. in november 2009 i made a couple moves. i made a conclusion of a career in law. and enrolled in an acting course. if one thing doesn't work -- >> host: a revelation -- you expressed it for key people tha÷ and along in your life÷÷÷÷
reach within your self, get rid of the binge drinking, binge partying, forget that. >> guest: when someone is telling you you don't belong, sitting in and being loved, i didn't feel any of those things which i felt i was nothing, like i wasn't enough because my parents were gone, because i had these obstacles, because i felt so deeply that i wanted more and could have more but didn't know how to quite do that. finally, finding lorraine was really great and she said everything i was feeling was totally normal. it helped me see that i was a
human being and i belonged in ÷÷ this world because i am a human being and i deserve love and a good education and healthcare and all these wonderful things everyone else gets to have it i picked myself up and tried again. >> host: that journey took you to spain where it your mother was living and there is the time you spend with her those few days, there was another revelation because i think this clears the path but it starts with your relationship with your mother and that was an obstacle. >> guest: we didn't get along. you heard me say we had a fight the day she was taken away. anyway, here we go.÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷ i had not expected the trip to
be a hallmark reunion, but it was more difficult than i thought it would be. as my mother had changed, so hat i had that meant we clashed quite a bit. when you haven't seen someone in years you have to relearn, what makes him or her angry, and as we made those adjustments, diane, your food is getting cold. sounds a little bit russian. so early for me. i am a rock star. diane, your food is getting cold. can you not tell me what to do? i am not a kid anymore. as the days went on she wanted to reminisce about my childhood. you remember how you used to play in the backyard when i was cooking? course i do.
that was a long time ago. in her mind's eye those experiences were as vivid as they had been the day before. and held them closer and tightly but the recollections were like old faded photos, long since replaced with all the moments that came after. she knew little of that life and her mention of the previous one brought up so much anguish for me. some of our moments together might have been tough but many others -- during her time ogether i made her laugh by÷÷÷÷ taking on a spanish accent and imitating people around us, took selfys around the city, just make up little sketches on the
street where i would pretend to be a spanish reporter interviewing her about whatever monument we were in front of. my memory of the great times we shared began to come back. even when i was little, would let me play with her for hours. i remembered i loved you and you loved me, i was you a little girl and you were my favorite, filled our evenings with conversation, too painful for me to confront. i was not ready to discuss anything. it was too raw for me.÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷ before nged four nights÷÷ the end of my trip. the two of us sat near each other on the couch, first time i ever shared a drink with my mother. mother, a little tipsy, started
talking about the 4 tatian. that whole time was so horrible for me, the prison was dirty, couldn't communicate with your father. as she spoke my blood pressure rose. i sat up and cut her off. you know what, mom, i shouted, i don't want to hear another thing about how hard things were for you. what are you talking about you you don't know how hard things were for me, i shouted. it is always about you. tears were pouring out. you abandoned me, i held. hold on. it is my time.÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷ hold up. wonderful. i am so rude. i don't care. i wrote the book.
[laughter] >> i am kidding. we will talk about volunteer work. i am a terrible human being. all this to learn i was a terrible human being. take fat, america. where where we? i was yelling at my mom. more beautiful things about me. you abandoned me, point my finger, where they never uttered aloud, and unknown place that the ised me, you destroyed÷÷÷÷ family, i hate you. she wiped her eyes and began to cry. she tried to pull me in her arms and i resisted but i couldn't
keep my body stiff which finally gave into her pool and buried my face in her bosom. i never wanted to leave you, did everything i could to stay with you, never meant to hurt you. she embraced me rubbing my back and swaying side to side as if i was again her baby. i am so sorry, please forgive me. i spent a decade blaming her for deserting me, taking chances that put her at greater risk for my rtation, vanishing from÷÷ life at a moment i most craved her love and care. on that afternoon when i watched her wave goodbye, the back bars of the paddy wagon, i made a choice the one i wasn't conscious of. i decided no -- no explanation would be enough for me to let go of the deep bitterness i carried
in my belly. i felt the barrier, a petition so thick and so high no one could appear around it. my mother left that attention center in 2001 but for years after i held her prisoner, the person responsible for my heart ache. and in her unforgivable÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷ doing so also locked away myself. a part of my soul. any hope she and i whatever lives at peace. that night in the dim light i made a choice to free us both. on that last day mommy drove me to the farm. when she turned on the radio a familiar ballad, don't know if you know about this. came on and after we saying it a half minute i ÷ stopped.
what is the matter? nothing, i said. what is it? that song takes me back, i told her, for the last time, mommy would spruce up my bedroom to make things nice for me. i would come home from school finding candles flickering and even a present. one afternoon, propped up on my pillow i fell in love with that album and listen to it so often i almost broke it. when we heard the song on the radio i nearly forgot, i carefully buried away the memory along with countless others. i miss you so much, i told her. too, she said.÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷ i cried the whole flight home, the woman sitting next to me kept handing me tissues. it is okay, she repeatedly everything will be fine. they were not tears of sadness,
they were tears of relief, the freedom of recognition my mother had dealt a can of wildcards in life, played them as well as she could and managed something greater than i ever attempted at her age which i had not yet learned fully to accept my reality as she had been forced to. even still, my mother has never been a bitter person. i am amazed at her ability to soldier on in any challenge life presents her. with a heart -- a great place to stop. my reading skills are dwindling. >> host: we are going to take her to the present. we will leave time for q and a but what is so exciting about shared in your ÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷ book.
your activism now. here we are four days, two days from an election, can't wait till it's over but you have a chance to be involved in such an important issue that we here in the political back and forth. your last chapter is call to action. what would you share with this audience? where is your challenge? >> my fellow texans, my call to action. here is the thing. before any of this, before all my pain, came from a lack of knowing anything. i was so scared of the word immigration i forgot to educate so difficult was÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷ for my parents to find citizenship, why they couldn't get their lives together, why
the lawyers we hired scammed us. i asked these questions but never wanted to answer them so when i started my acting career and asked these questions, what is your favorite ballistics? also came this burning inside me because i wasn't being honest about who i was and my life and what i wanted to change and the deep fear other families were the same thing i ÷÷÷÷÷ was so i decided to share my story and become politically active. as anyone living anywhere, you have a responsibility to take care of your family and your future and your community and the people around you.
misunderstood as you are, as much as people don't understand your side with you and your political views or if you should even be here, you have a responsibility for your self, to bring your story out and make people understand and bring people together. my call to action. was determined to be part of this movement, never see a family go through what i went through because my parents are getting old and i still here and i have been living without them for a long time and missed out on so much and i am part of this movement and i went immigration reform not just -- for all of us. it is outdated, it is inadequate and i made a vow to join the fight and i am excited and i
hope -- i hope things are okay november 8th and the right woman is in office. [cheers and applause] >> i have who i care about and office but my ÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷ focus has in to help those communities that feel they don't have a voice and what am i going to do? my vote doesn't matter. get this community to participate, you are part of this process and it is on you to join us, that is my journey and getting people out to vote and participate, be involved because
it is fun and great to live with purpose, figure out you are ctually pretty smart and÷÷÷÷÷÷÷ empathetic and love will and you love human beings and wants to make the world a better place and there is nothing wrong with that. >> host: thank you for that call to action. you have some volunteers here. you want to come to the microphone, you have two, you will take them now and while you are gathering your thoughts, this is not diane's only opportunity here, she will be at the book signing test and after this afternoon she will be here at the grand exit panel talking about success in her career. questions thank you for being here today.
i know you read the book, you read the book. you read it in spanish. >> all my students are the children of immigrants, i am not a child of immigrants but what advice do you give me? >> ru? >> eventually. i don't experience the same. what would you say to me to empower them? >> share this book with them. i would say make sure you are teaching them about history and what really is going on. woman who picked ÷÷÷ me up has a great book, i don't
know what i am referencing, talked about the lies my teacher told me, educating your kids on what history really looks like, knowing your history is so empowering, knowing where they come from an knowing they are enough but if they are child of immigrants teaching them the immigration system and what our struggles are and different movements and west obstructionists look like and what 1996 laws look like, things like that. >> host: big round of applause for diane guerrero. [applause] ÷÷÷÷÷÷ >> thank you all for being here. enjoy the rest of the book festival.
>> ready for the book signing. [inaudible conversations] >> you are watching tv on c-span2 come alive coverage of the texas book festival in downtown austin. the former secret service officer next talking about his book and his career serving under 5 presidents. for complete schedule of our coverage go to booktv.org.÷÷÷÷÷÷
make the world a better place in a representative empowering way need this instantly even if it doesn't always happen and i argue in the book it comes from our own experience at home. our society has the nationbuilding project and believe it is possible to do ÷÷÷ that elsewhere and i embrace that idealism myself. >> host: how have you organized this book? >> guest: i organized the book around the number of case studies. first chapter lays out the general argument which is also from our own experience during the revolution. i begin with madison and washington. then i go through a series of cases, reconstruction after the civil war, germany, vietnam. >> host: you use the word reconstruction throughout, reconstruction after fascism, reconstructed after world war zero macula why there were? >> guest: part of the american project is to reconstruct other societies. empires believe societies can
they are dominated and controlled, societies can be ÷÷÷ better for themselves and better for us, self-interest and altruistic activity. >> host: do you support nationbuilding? >> guest: i don't see how we can predict the next foreign-policy crisis but i can safely predict the next president will be involved in nationbuilding again. it is in our dna as americans. >> host: has there been a president who hasn't been involved in nationbuilding? wikipedia >> guest: not one who sought american expansion. sensor for a short period, that s okay, there are moments we÷÷÷ might be in one of those moments right now. and expensive period in america has gone out in the world and sought to expand their interest was always involved in nationbuilding. >> host: when has it been successful? >> guest: most successful and or two conditions, one, when americans are committed and when
we have good overseas partners with the question we need to ask is are we going into a place in the world we believe in and people are willing to work with us? if we answer no to either of those questions we shouldn't do it. we shouldn't do nationbuilding everywhere at all times. >> host: where have we done it successfully? >> guest: germany is the example most people bring out. after world war zero mag, japan is another one. most are not that successful and shouldn't told that is a standard. best we can hope for is what we had in reconstruction after the civil war, the early 20th century we go into part of our own country or another society that has undergone major transformation and contribute to place a little better but it is always a muddy process, never short and always involve setbacks. >> host: what about a case like