your. it is my pleasure to turn to turn to the man. this dinner designed to honor in its 80 years. the white house correspondent association has had but one main toast. please join me in. that toast now to the president. the united states.

ladies and gentlemen, the president of the united states. thank you very much. thank you. thank. thank you very much. thank you very much, george and to you and ken walter, i've had a wonderful evening sitting with you both, looking out at your wonderful families and cheerleaders. i want to congratulate tonight's award recipients and thank you all for. another chance to be with you. i'd like to begin with a couple of serious remarks. it's it's easy for us when we fight in washington to forget how much we have common. and sometimes i think we have to

have these dinners where we can laugh at ourselves. and it's one another to fulfill the admonition of proverbs at a happy do us good like medicine and a broken spirit. dry drive to bones. sometimes i think we forget that and we can too easily get carried away with our honest differences doing our honest job so that we lose the fundamental humanity of people who are at odds with us. i have been thinking about this a lot in the last 24 hours, as i have reflected the death of president nixon and the life that he lived after he left the white house and in particular rather unusual, but for me, a prized relationship that i enjoyed over these last 15 or 16 months. the thing that impressed me about him was that he had a

tenacious refusal to give up on his own involvement in this country, in the world, his hopes for this country, in the world. and he continued it right down to the very end, writing me a letter a month to the before he died about his recent trip to russia and his analysis of other places in that part of the world. i say that because i we should all try to remember when we are tempted to, write off anybody because of our differences with them that we share a common humanity and we all have the capacity of doing better and doing more. tonight in this audience, there is a wonderful poet, maya angelou, who wrote a wonderful poem for, my inauguration. she wrote profoundly about this subject when she said history, despite its wrenching pain,

cannot be unlived. and if faced with courage it, need not be lived again. tonight, i know that our thoughts and prayers are with president nixon's families and many of us, each in our own way, have relived as many of his 50 years in public life as we experienced some of us in opposition of us in support. but it is worth remembering what binds us together as americans and as people. now, having said that. i like garrison keillor a lot than al franken. there for a while i thought he was going to bring wobegon to me, and i. a couple of weeks ago, the vice president got a huge response at the gridiron club when he was wheeled out and a hand truck.

you know, i've learned a lot from al gore. and so i had a very plan for my interest tonight, but we couldn't find just the right canoe. i have. i also couldn't figure out i wanted to go up this particular creek with or without a paddle. and so here i am, just standing alone. but i haven't been alone over the last few months. i've gotten a lot of telegrams from people offering me their advice and best wishes in this very difficult time. i brought a few of them here with me tonight. i thought i would share them with you. here's one from my pollster, stan. i don't have a clue what people want. you to trust your instincts, but send the check anyway.

take notes. save them. you can even get even with the press when you're 85. sign barry goldwater. here's one that really touched me. i support you 100%. and this so-called whitewater scandal. furthermore i do not believe it has ever been conclusively proven that there is, in fact, a white river in arkansas sign johnson president r.j. reynolds reynolds. dear bill can i list as a reference? david gergen. here's one i especially prized bill. remember, it's never too late to pull out of the 92 election. ross. now i've learned in these last several weeks.

one thing i've learned is that i should no longer assign the worst motives to reporters and to news organizations that cover me. i've been wrong about that. i am now convinced there is no the conspiracy among the press. you just can't yourself. hunting in packs is a matter of pure instinct. you on the other hand. i do want to defend you. you know, some people in the national press corps have been pretty rough. but there's this general that the press has really been tough on. and i used to think that but everything is relative and. i started doing some research and i discovered in fact the opposite may be true. in fact, i've discovered. that you've been holding back. i got my hands on some magazine that were actually rejected for being too tough. you'll be happy to know. you don't have to cover the white house to get. you can actually work here.

so i want to show you some of what might have happened to me if the press had been as mean as i once thought they were. scoop can we show those rejected magazine covers? look at this one. this is a cover photo of the first couple in the u.s. news. it says, 1994 text tips. and look, here's a consumer reports that almost made it to the newsstand. it's a picture of me and bobby ray inman. it says, writing, the clinton nominated and consumer reports. that's the whitewater edition of field stream with hillary and me. motor trend is also applied for a white house press pass. look at their call. that's me in my mustang. it says recall on it. then gourmet magazine did this

cover of the white house chef. you can't see it, but it's ronald mcdonald there. one magazine almost ran this profile of my most senior. that's maturity with lloyd cutler, lloyd bentsen and warren christopher sitting on a bench together. sports illustrated came within an inch of making this the swimsuit. and as soon i put my clothes back on runners smelled a scandal. this is not a new phenomenon. found this old magazine lying around the reagan administration. this is a national review, 1984 with david gergen, man of the year. and this year, jones named david gergen, the man of the year.

i'm bitter because some people have gotten good magazine covers. i got this land's end catalog in the mail with jim leach as the new sweater boy. now, want to try to illustrate to you, i know that you these are all made up. and i'm going to show you some covers to show you how much better the press has been than me. here's an interesting let me show you a time magazine cover that actually ran during the campaign. god, i hated that book. but look, they're a first choice for a cover. was we just just. headline. we just don't like this guy. and you remember this time magazine cover from last year? i abhor that. until saw the one they thought of running. that's me as a sumo wrestler. they're the incredible growing president. and i know all of you remember

this cover which will go down in history for journalistic integrity, the deep cover of time. it managed to capture george stevens, his joy about being on the cover of time magazine. everybody now knows, that cover was not about whitewater. it was an old and cropped photo. but you cannot mad at time. they actually cut me a lot of slack on this. i don't imagine anybody here has actually seen the original photo. i'm grateful for time that they never showed it but i think we'll show it to you. that's roseanne arnold still in the picture. now it's not quite what you think. george and i were not proposing to her, but time didn't believe it. the point is, all these rejected covers show not meanness, but courageous restraint and collective good judgment on the of the washington press corps. and i just thought the american people deserve know that about

you. and as somebody who's working to overcome my own image problems, that i thought i ought to help you do a little of that. so tonight i extend the hand of peace and offer you my advice on how the press might work to its image. you might ask, why do i want to help you? why do i want to help you? oh. mercy i care. anyway, here's my advice get booked on larry king. go around the president, speak directly to the american people. pray that columbia school will get a basketball team that will go to the final four. well, learn play a read instrument. do not borrow money.

do not lend money. do not make money. and for goodness sakes, do not lose money. as a matter of fact, the only safe thing is, the barter system. next advice is never get too busy for a good haircut. and finally in consultation with the vice president, since all of you are going through the white house trash anyway, please separate glass, paper and plastic plastic. make consistent. for goodness sakes, you're always telling me that i the wall street journal criticizing my wife for making money trading commodities is like field and stream criticizing somebody for catching fish.

and you should be more positive i mean instead characterizing me as beleaguered characterized me as somber, courageous. and lincoln this and remember if you really want a friend in this town, get yourself a dog. i wish somebody me that for i showed up with a neutered cat. now now. i'm giving you this good advice because, as you've heard me so many times say we, are all in this together. i mean, the the american people have taken are nothing to the hits you've taken. and you've got a tough job ahead trying to restore your good image. now. so besides my advice, i've come up with a couple of i could do to help you. i'm going to stop jogging with congressmen and spend more time the people who really matter in this town.

you beginning tomorrow morning at 6 a.m. jack german. i are going on a three mile run. i am going to start delivering speeches exactly as written. that way you'll never have to sit and listen to another one. promise never again to get at. andrea mitchell or rita braver or brit hume refer to me as the current president. and even if do lose my patience once in a while, you don't have anything to worry about with this white house. i asked jay stevens. we don't even we just get mad. i also know that i need to help you get through the slow news days. i know how tough are so. so we're going to give you just

on background details of potential scandals that you can as your leaders overdo library books from law school. the seeds of grapes i've eaten in supermarket. the discrepancy between my actual weight and the weight my driver's license. up until now, they absolutely secret lab tests done on the astro in my pickup and there will be a blanket to go along with each one saying that am sorry i didn't tell you that before. now this is serious. i do want to take an opportunity to come clean on a statement made earlier this week in an appearance on mtv, i was asked a

question. about my undergarments. more specifically, whether i wore boxers or briefs i answered, i wear briefs, which is a true statement, speaks to the current facts. now, at the moment i uttered this answer, i could tell there was immediate skepticism among the media and a real desire that i prove truth right then and there of my brief assertion by making immediate full disclosure. i did not show my briefs at that time out of an exaggerated and wholly inappropriate sense of my own, of personal privacy, which i dug up here with me from arkansas. i want you to know tonight that i regret that deeply and like my wonderful wife, i have been

reasoned. therefore, i must also acknowledge that for a short time during my youth, i did in fact also wear boxer shorts. it was actually a brief period of time and this semantic coincidence may have been the source of my confused response on mtv. the number of boxers, shorts, total, six pair and all three wide, two striped, one baby blue with a razorback hog and little red halves. i reminded of this fact which i had forgotten while reading a passage about doing the laundry in my mother's book. and i am taking this opportunity to make a full and complete disclosure. i have turned all my underwear over to mr. fisk's office, including the receipts from their donation to charity and the tax i took for them in 1962.

$3.38. i'm also copies of my underwear available to the news media. now, naturally, since the prosecutor has all my current, i will need to buy more. when i do that, i will keep you fully apprized. as to the type size, brand name, national origin and fiber content, i have no further statement at this time.