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tv   Red Eye  FOX News  August 26, 2011 12:00am-1:00am PDT

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chinook helicopter accident. his dog hawkeye at the funeral service staring at the casket. heartbreaking beyond words. >> kimberly: guarding over it. metropolitan will not leave his side. >> eric: good night, everybody. welcome to "red eye." i'm greg gutfeld. voted best actor in the all male retelling. i would like to thank my mom, my dad and scott wherever you are. let's go to andy levy for a pre game report. what is coming up on tonight's show? >> let's get it oamerica. someone has a crush on someone, and wait until you find out who those someones are. it is muammar qaddafi and condoleezza rice. i just blew that piece.
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plus, should we be expecting a serious third party presidential candidate in 2012? the more parties the better, aim right, bros? and a new book claims the founder of ikea was a member of the swedish nazi party. we will see if that explains the instructions straight ahead. greg? >> thank you, andy. >> happy billy ray cyrus birthday. >> is that any relation to miley cyrus? >> i believe she will be popping up out of his birthday cake. >> fun fact, andy, when you plan for that sort of occasion, don't use real cake. it can ends in tragedy. >> you have had experience with that i take it? >> it was a no bake peanut butter cheesecake so there was no fatalities. >> that's a relief. >> not really. her family had a peanut allergy and everybody swelled up. >> my kind of party. >> i didn't invite you for that precise reason jie. and i appreciate that. >> dam you to hell. >> i apologize for nothing. >> let's welcome our guests.
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she's so cute that unicorns have pictures of her on their backpacks. i am here with jedediah bila. and he is so smart that brain teasers do him for fun. chris barron, go proud chairman of the board. and in serbia he is considered a war crime. it is bill schulz. and wherever he goes he makes everyone laugh, but enough about martin lawrence. sitting next to me, the great comedian, sherrod small. >> quake! >> nicely done. two days late, but nicely done. he is a disgusting creep whose bias is deep. good to see you, pinch. >> today arts and leisures puts the spotlight on itself as he explores the meaning and purpose of bad reviews. speaking of critiques, pardon me, here is one for "red eye." a blatering gololom creature can be described as the mclaughlin group on stupid
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pills. guests are made to look like so by some condescending cat lover who goes halfway through the program like some sort of unwanted cold sore. he claims to have facts. only highlights of retired co-hosts and a talking paper who is as well informed as he is endowed. but much like the titanic, nothing can save this ship. three thumbs down. >> that was harsh. >> al scott helped with the better bits. >> that's good. >> yes. >> all right. >> all right. he thinks rice is nice, and he is quite fondy of conde. muammar qaddafi, who seems had quite the crush on condoleezza rice. in 2007, crazy q told al jazeera tv, quote, i support my darling black african woman. i admire and am very proud about the way she liens back and gives orders to the arab leaders.
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liza, liza, liza, i love her very much. and while on a diplomatic mission he gave her a diamond ring, a locket with himselfen engraved and everybody's dream, a loot. now best of all, rebel forces storming the dictator's compound found a photo album filled with pictures of his darling liza which is not at all creepy. i believe we have footage of their future court ship. >> i love it. >> what a woos. >> part two they are living in chelsea in a loft. sherrod, doesn't this humanize
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qaddafi, or does it reveal him to be the creepy, weird owe stalker, much like yourself. >> well this goes to show that even e harmony gets it wrong sometimes. maybe he just liked women of power. maybe it is not just condoleezza. maybe madeline all bright went through the same stuff. somebody questioned him on that? >> i don't think that ever happened. jedediah, couldn't rice end this search for qaddafi by putting out the word she wants to meet him? >> yes, and she wants to look through the photo album. i have one comment that goes across the board. ew. this is disgusting. what is he dwog these photo. >> he can do better. >> i hope he is not having bill schulz moments with them. >> first of all, judge much? and second of all, it is a photo album. if it was a scrap book, that would be creepy. if it was cut out of a magazine like a teen would in "tiger beat." but a photo album is classy. >> the thing with scrap books,
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it is okay when you are young. i stopped at 35. >> it got a little weird. >> the turning point. >> my mom kept finding them under the bed. >> and do you have photos of conde rice too? >> no. it was jerry. that was pretty fast jie. that was good. i. >> he was one of the greatest wide receivers of all time. there was one game. barron how weirded out is rice about all of this? >> i'm sure she is freaking out. she would be more freaked out if it was kim jong-il. dictators are weird guys. imagine what you would actually find in kim jong-il's palace. >> he would have a scrap book made of real people. >> or an asian dude going, how you doing?
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turn me. >> you know what is weird though, greg, she is a really strong, independent woman. what is he going to do with her? make her one of his 50 wives? what's his plan there? >> what if he does president like women. -- doesn't like women? i am throwing you a bone. >> how much do you want to bet that when they went on the one dinner they had or whatever it was she was the one wearing pants? he had a lovely blouse on and she was wearing a pant suit. >> it is a great idea for a movie that she would go over there and talk him out of the compound and then she goes away and he gets killed. that would be a good movie. >> he would die for love. >> this isn't a lifetime movie. >> bill, you could play a young qaddafi who has been
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frustrated in love his whole life and then discovers condoleezza rice. >> and an older qaddafi, has to be hugh grant. keep the accent. keep the accent. no one will care. >> i hope these crazy kids work it out. >> i hope they don't jada-pinket and will smith their marriage. >> when i heard about that i thought, there is no hope for me if those crazy kids can't make it. >> i knew they were going to break up. >> when i see this, maybe there is hope for love. that is right. i think i will change the name of the show to hope for love. >> that's the name of the movie. >> by the way, you know that brange li na i came out #w* con-doffi. >> that sounds like something
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you catch in college. >> you did catch that in college. it keeps coming back. >> from momar and conde siting in a tree. a council on american islamic relations or cair if you want to be all warm and fuzzy about it, called for an investigation on the nypd, and they are heroes. the reason the group sites an ap report, it helped them gather intelligence from mosques and neighborhoods. they are doing it right there. it violates the u.s. privacy act and spying on americans. never mind these aggressive techniques helped thwart the plots on the city since 9/11. thwart means stop. commissioner kelly says a cia officer is working at the
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headquarters, but only in an advisory and training capacity. here is kelly responding to the attorneys claiming the charges are, quote, hearing worthy. >> we are doing what we believe we have to do to protect the city. we have many, many lawyers in our employ. we see ourselves as very conscious and aware of civil liberties. and we know there is always going to be scrutiny. there is always going to be some tension between the police department and the so-called civil liberties group. it is because of the nature of what we do. >> he played the so-called card. 50eu78 -- i'm with you. >> let's go to paw-paw mcsleepy face. how big is this story? we have to see that again, but not right now. i don't think i can take it. if i see it right now
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something bad will happen and they will have to change my clothes. i need to see that in maybe the c, d and e block. chris, would you be comfortable giving your disgusting lifestyle with that kind of undercover police presence in the places you frequent? >> last time i checked there was no more gay apparel. >> have you ever been in the basement? i have the scratches to prove it. i did walk away with this lovely jacket, by the way. i am watching you, chris jie. here is what is outrageous about this. cair that is complaining about this is billed as a civil liberties organization, a muslim civil liberties organization which i find entertaining. there are muslim countries that care about civil liberties. >> if cair is interested in civil liberties i have a
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couple of muslim countries they can go to and work on civil liberties issues there. otherwise they should shut the heck up. >> sherrod, the cops are monitoring the muslim book stores. >> profiling. >> this is what you do in any case. >> i am not saying stop it. muslims have to get used to this. right now you are where black people were a couple years ago. everybody has their eye on you. it will be rough. wait a couple years, but before you know it everybody is playing your music and wearing your clothes. you might even get a president out of it. relax. you may get a president. >> or did they already? it is too late. i already forgot about what i was talking about. >> jedediah, you told me in the green room that you don't think cair went far enough. >> yes, this is bush's fault.
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this is them doing their job and this is a post 9/11 world. i don't have a problem with it. as far as profiling, that's a serious point. we need to judge people based on pat ternz of behavior. it is like pulling the 85-year-old woman in the airport saying, let me inspect from you head to toe. >> i get that all the time. >> you do and bill does. >> bill, put yourself in the "24" mentality. screw these jerks. >> i don't even know who my daughters are so i couldn't save them. >> they could be in harm's way right now. >> they could be in harm's way or making me money which is what they are supposed to be doing. i would say cair has got to get better publicists. if this ap story is to be believed there would have been a federal investigation anyway. as a result get a nonmuslim civil liberties group to investigate. that's simple math. it is at if cair does not care
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about their overall perspective. >> they never care about threats to america. they care about getting their names in the paper. you talked about the comparisons between this group and blacks. >> you have mentioned it. i found it interesting, but wrong. i will tell you why. i don't know if this is about terror. it is more about assimilation. there are groups in america who don't want to assimilate. they believe their life is superior. >> similar in what way? >> you assimilate even though you are black. >> i make everybody cross over to me. >> that is true. i guess that is the point you were making. well this whole thing doesn't make sense. agree with me. >> islam said its goal is to destroy the west. why don't we just take them at their word? that's what they want to do. >> everybody will lose 40 pounds in a couple months.
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>> i have to sigh that's under the assumption that the mosques and the community areas are full of radical muslims. maybe there is a couple in there, maybe there is not. >> that's why the police have to do the job. >> but cops can't break down my door just because they believe there could be a crystal meth lab in there. there could be. but maybe not. >> you have to assimilate. it is not just about muslims, it is about uh tall yens, hispanics. you have to respect our laws or there will be a problem. >> bill is right. mosques are not full of radical easy law mists. however -- you saw that one coming, i never would have said that and ended the sentence. you would know i would go right after. the point is -- my point is ifer one of the people that have -- every one of the people that have been arrested have been at mosques.
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thankfully there are people at mosques who point them out and help the authorities out. they have informants and stuff that do that. it is an important thing to do. >> it is good and bad in muslims and good and bad in anybody. >> here is the other thing before we move on to other stuff. cair actually represents muslim-americans. it has a couple thousand people in there and all they want to do is sue. they don't care about muslim-americans. >> all they want to do is sue? >> cair is for radical islams. >> and those who oppose this behavior and stand with all americans often oppose cair. >> everybody was overwhelmingly against this. >> so they are trying to act like a bunch of them. >> truly we found out who the real monster is.
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>> is your girlfriend jewish? >> yes. >> oh, okay. >> you know what, at half time andy will add admonish you. >> my girlfriend is a canadian model, and so i can make fun of the canadian models. >> she is a blowup. what's up with white people? we discuss sherrod small's new book. white people, you suck. first is america ready to elect a third party candidate? the answer is probably maybe.
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what do you do when just one doesn't fit and the other rubs you the wrong way? you find a third option.
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but enough about my latex hot pants. i speak of a third political party which according to polsters is a real possibility in the near future. they always say that. it explains the duo, quote, in unison, "the united states is in the midst of what we would both call a pre revolutionary moment. and there is widespread support for a fundamental change in the system. increasing number of americans are searching the parties for bold and effective leadership." well one poll found that 57% of americans said there is a need for a third party. one in five saying they are likely to vote for a third party candidate in 2012. yet critics wonder if there was a third party candidate that could come close to being competitive. ron paul, donald trump or maybe how about this hungry wild card.
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>> they are adorable. and then when the glass goes away they will rip your face-off. they are adorable when you are faceless. jedediah, does a third party candidate have a shot, or does it hurt the main candidate that it is most like? >> i don't think it will have a shot now. in 2012 it won't happen. but in the future you could. if you have big government and big spending democrats and big government and big spending republicans next to them there is nowhere to go. a tea party candidate is a possibility in the near future, but not this year. >> i think a tea party candidate would hurt the republicans and especially in 2012. >> look at the candidates though. we have hunts man and mitt romney. people are not excited about this on the right. >> i am crazy about huntsman. i am hot for huntsman. >> yes, and his shared sacrifice he was talk bsmght.
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>> he looks like the guy who killed laura palmer on "twin peeks." >> he looks like a james bond villain. >> he does, but so do you. aren't people tired of the two-party system? >> yes, people are tired of the two-party system. this is the story of gas prices going up every summer. everybody wants a third party. no, it is not going to happen. i agree with jedediah. if there was any possibility for a third party, it would be if the tea party decided to divorce itself that is the only viable third party. >> did you know the republicans were all going like this? >> we are ready to go at this point. sherrod? >> thank you, gregory. not only do we need a third party, but we need a fourth and fifth and 6th. we have one more choice in a dictator. one more choice. one more choice and let freedom
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ripping. we -- freedom ring. we need parties that can be a viable challenge for the thrown. >> interesting point. we have so many options in this world for everything. we have options for trucks. >> cell phone. >> food. think about all of the food you can eat. endless examples of food. >> maybe pork chops but we only have two parties. it seems weird. and we were hood winked. we were bamboozled. bill, have you your finger in the butt of america. it is a sad fact we can only deal with two choices? >> wow, still thinking about that. and once i pull it out, lots of oil. i'm talking about drill, baby, drill. my sources, and as you know my
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sources are never wrong, they say there will not be a ron paul. they will not jump ship from the republican party. my sources tell me they know who will and i am not going to tell you who it is. it rhymes with ross per row. i am voting for you, ross. >> ross perot altered history. he took votes from bush. bush lost and clinton came in. have you monica lieu lewinski. perot changed it. >> remember the prosperity. dam you, perot. >> it is going to get to a point where people don't care about that .'s -- they see the republican and democrat as no difference. if it takes a vote away people say, who cares? and the republican party goes the way of the wigs. a third party tea party group can replace the tea party. they are hungry for two choices. >> if it is two choices and two real choices, the fact is
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we may end up with two choices that look a lot alike. >> are you a handsome man. >> bill, he is talking about wigs. >> they are going the way of the wigs. i heard rumors, girlfriend. i heard rumors. >> talking about political parties and they start talking about the wig. what's going on here? >> do you have a comment on the show? e-mail us at fox fox news .com. to leave a voicemail call 212-462-5050. still to come, the half time report from andy levy. he wears a wig and he highlights it. weird. weird guy. >> tonight's half time report is sponsored bayou caw laily. the stringed instrument associated with hawaii an music.
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welcome back. for that we go to tv's andy levy. we have a present for you. >> what? >> have i to see it again. -- i have to see it again, maybe toward the end of half time. i need to see it again. >> you people and your stupid
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cats. >> if you ever get tired of looking at that, you are not human that better be cued up. >> it is out of my hands. >> anytime we ask a question, howking is that? it will get so big. that has to come up every time. >> qaddafi hearts, sherrod you said maybe qaddafi likes women of power. he did say he admires the way she liens back and gives ordersto the arab leaders. i think that's a peek into what he likes in the bedroom. >> you have to pay extra for that usually. i know a girl. >> do you? >> yeah. she has the help of a girl. >> chris, you said dictators are weird guys. we are going to get letters, man. not cool. we have to come back here to work tomorrow. jedediah, you said the irony
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is condoleezza is a strong, independent woman. you said what would qaddafi do, make her one of his 50 wives? he only had two wives and not at the same time. >> you ruined my joke, and for that you will pay. >> andy, he has a bevy of bodyguards that are all female. >> and they are strictly platonic. and i have no reason not to believe muammar qaddafi. he gave her a locket. you open it up and there is an engraving of himself. how ballsy is that? >> that's amazing. >> open it up. open it up. that's me. >> andy, what woman wouldn't want a lute. >> he stole my move. he totally stole my moved. >> that was your flare you would bring into a bar. >> that's when andy was going through his peter pan stage right down to the costumes.
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>> and no, i couldn't possibly. cair and their lawsuit. you ask chris if given his disgusting lifestyle which i assume was a reference to the fact that he is a fan of the pittsburgh pirates, you said given his disgusting lifestyle would he be okay in the places he would -- he hangs out. i believe there are a lot of people dressed as police. >> and pirates. >> jedediah, you said you don't think anyone could have a problem with all of this. >> do you have a problem? jay here comes the party. >> cia investment in intelligence which is a big no, no. >> he is an advisor which according to the associated press report troubled some senior cia people. you have people in the cia who have problems with it. the fbi requires evidence of a
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crime before an informant can be used in a mosque. the accusation is the nypd are using these collers without evidence. and according to the senior fbi officials in new york ordered their own agents not to accept reports for this reason. >> if they are doing something illegal, i have a problem. >> i want them to be able to properly take care of people and look into what needs to be looked into. >> the claim based on this report is they are doing things that may be illegal. >> if it is illegal it needs to stop. >> and what about this one? they are using census data to identify the ethnic make up of neighborhoods. i thought conservatives only wanted them to check off how many people lived in the place. for the reason it is none of the government's business to know the other stuff. hospital conservatives be saying something?
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>> i have a fierce libertarian streak, but i want the police to be able to do their job and i don't want hypersensitivity around certain ethnic groups. be able to do your job and protect the city and workers and stay within the realm. >> that is absolutely nuts. if any laws have been broken the law should be changed. let's be realistic. we are talking about saving people's lives. there are people out there that want to kill americans because it is what they believe their mission from god to do so. so throw out the constitution if it gets? the way. >> my understanding is conservatives, especially in the last couple years have been talking about constitution. you can't pick and choose. you are picking and choosing. you absolutely are. >> my interpretation is this doesn't violate the constitution. if there are any laws that should happen they should
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change. >> how about just have a lie log with people. they want to protect the americans. >> some people. they don't want the mosque. >> where was cair talking about muslim extremist 1234*z every time we hear from cair is when they are complaining about the fact there is an informant looking for -- >> have i no love whatsoever for care. i think generally they are fairly disgusting. but they may be right. if their investigation is true, the nypd says it is not. if there is there are troubling things that should be investigated and we can find out of maybe they are not violating the constitutional breaking the law. let's investigate and find out. >> if i could deploy a little trick i learned. what have you got against
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america's hero? >> greg. >> greg i have an answer. >> sherrod what did you say about the jews? >> i said they are great people and i am jew-ish. >> i don't know why they got upset over that. >> it is when he did it in the low voice. >> when i describe muslims as acting like them. joan what that means. >> you will when you see the lines outside. >> we apologize for everything sherrod said. >> 30 parties in 2012. jedediah, you don't think they will have a shot in 2 012. if there is a third party candidate they will spend a lot more money than i will and get the same number of electric terror cal -- electoral votes.
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and it will take them away from the republican. i don't think he would, but if ron paul were to run on the libertarian ticket, he could be on on the ballot. >> i want him to run against obama. >> ron paul has a small and solid base of support that in a couple of close sates could make a difference. >> i agree. i agrees 100%. in new york they go like, ron paul, short stop are to the yankees. no one knows him. put on an album. >> i love him. >> did you see the protesters on the way in? >> do we have time for a video? >> how big is that?
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>> there is the third party. >> that could definitely be in the white house. >> i am done and go and enjoy your silly cat fetish when i am gone. >> what is the best way to turn the tables on an annoying fan? jedediah bila discusses her new book "take one step closer and i will stab you in the face." first, who did jim carrey declare his love for on-line? my money is on the chocolate rain guy. he is a hoot.
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is this love inspired spiel the real deal or was the bloat making a joke? jim carrey posted a really, really, really creepy video on his website declaring his love for 22-year-old actress emma stone. the two-minute vid tore across
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the initer net, whatever that is, with many wondering when did jim carrey get so weird? roll tape, tape rollers. >> emma, i just wanted to let you know that i think you are all the way beautiful. not just pretty, but smart and kind hearted. and if i were a lot younger, i would marry you and we would have chubby little freckle faced kids. and the sex -- >> why chubby? carrie's rep says the video was intended to be comic cal. yeah, that was hilarious. you mean psychologically unstable and sad? let's discuss this?
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sherrod's favorite segment we call -- >> lightning rooooouuuund. lightning round. >> sherrod, are you a comedian i have been told many times. >> on some nights. >> you saw that. joking or not joking? >> first of all, creepy, yes. maybe joking, but too much canadians in joking. that's why he said chubby kids because he wanted american kids. it is creepy though. you run across somebody and it is like, don't tell your pa you came to see me. is you ever heard of atari? >> that is a great idea for a movie. >> that was way too close to home, too many specifics. >> i was abducted as a child.
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i never got the atari. >> it is not like it is an upcoming movie together. this was creepy. creepy, creepy. >> jim carey always has been creepy, but now he has old man creepy. i think this is like charlie seen. >> i don't think he saw the charlie sheen stuff going on. worked for sheen. >> jenni mccarthy is probably having sex with somebody right now and this is his way of getting back to her. >> she is hot and normal. >> no. jenni mccarthy used to pass gas on tv all the time. that's not normal. >> she is a horrible person with all of her texting! jedediah, do you think he was serious? >> i think he tried to be funny, but it was uncomfortable. he hasn't had a hit movie in
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awhile. maybe he was looking for a hit youtube. i didn't find any humor in it and it was bad acting. >> you don't know what it is like to be in the mind of a predator. he may be the worst person to walk the face of the earth, but he is brilliant. what he did was put in enough possible maybe but not really comic cal lines so you have an excuse to fall back on. but the message was to order or receive. it then he september out a tweet that yes it was a joke. 2* wasn't, but it was, but it wasn't. he has something to fall back on. but the other funny thing sit was true. the best part is he took it a step further. it there by having her think, the fact he acknowledges it makes it less scraping. and i will give him a shot. major jig is blown. and you will be arrested.
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>> you noah lot about -- know a lot about creepy. >> i don't want to brag, but yeah, i do and what are you doing later? >> did he have a vice? >> no, he didn't. one half thinks i am kidding and the other wants pick -- pictures of him shirt le.s. >> you are brilliant, but you are going to jail. we are going to take a break. remember to check out the "red eye" pod cast. or go to fox news .com and click on red eye.
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welcome back to "red eye." a new book reveals 80-year-old ikea founder was once a member of the swedish nazi party. this according to the secret service files from 1943 which claims that he helped recruit new members and missed no opportunity to work for the movement. i go to you first. are you going to stop buying
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ikea furniture now or did you already stop? >> i already stopped. >> or will you buy more and then stop. >> no, it does not make me want to buy ikea furniture. >> sherrod, are you surprised? >> not by the name of this dude. that's the most nazi name i have ever heard in my life. >> well if it was adolf it would have bent different. -- have been different. >> you can't be in run-d.m.c. with that name. >> may i step in here? >> no. >> i feel i should say right off the bat, just because you have a nazi sounding name doesn't make you have gnaw gee. -- nazi. >> you know who really destroyed your family was hogan's heroes. >> what was his name, colonel schulz? >> i don't know. he was an actor. >> john banner.
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>> jedediah, should he address this or just say, i am 85 years old and i am a billionaire. >> what he needs to address is it takes 17 hours to put it together and then i sit on it and it falls apart. >> i like going to ikea and it is very therapeutic. i start at the end. did you ever do that? >> i have done that and i find it to be quite an adventure. >> it is fantastic. i never buy big things. i only buy little things like coasters and lights that you hang up inside your house that are like christmas lights. >> i did not know that was a swastika. >> he was going to hide the nazi background. >> i thought it was an unusual framing device for a post postcard.
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>> you can pretend you live there and make yourself at home and take a nap. >> that is not true. >> all of the furniture people. all of them. >> we will close things out with a post game wrap up with tv's andy levy. >> and to see clips of recent shows go to
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i'm going to see you back here at 5:00 p.m. eastern time
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for "the five." coming up tomorrow on the next "red eye." look, it is return appearances from joe derosa. >> who? >> i know. fox news contributor mary katherine hamm and talk show host. carl zhan. back to you, andy for the post game wrap up or whatever you are doing. >> yes, greg, we are still giving our viewers a shot at tweeting the post game questions even though it is getting worse and not better. >> not stepping up at all. they are stepping down. >> it took a lot of my day to find these questions. chris, our first question is from stacy sing who says, will a gay republican ever be truly accepted in the community? >> why do i get the gay question? this is profiling. yes, i think a republican will be accepted in gay community.
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i don't know about the lgbtqi community. >> bill will never be accepted. >> lbgb. >> lbgbtv. >> gbtv. >> you would be great on gbtv. lbgtv, i don't know. >> how do you even understand that? >> i am sure it is lbgtv. jedediah, they want to know how much you can leg press? >> usually 180. >> with which leg? >> excuse me. with both legs. are you making fun of me now, andy. let's duke it out at the gym. >> i was pump you up. will you form in


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