tv Red Eye FOX News October 11, 2013 12:00am-1:01am PDT
hello, everyone. i'm greg gutfeld and this is cliff diving for everyone today. tonight we will focus on the challengeds of leaping from 30 meters when the wind reaches 20knotts and we will have a quiz on north american goggles at the bottom of the hour. stick around for that. first let's welcome our guest. she is sharper than a guinsu knife made from the flesh of members. she is the anchor of the hot list on the blaze.com. and tv's andy levy is off this evening. filling in is my nude base jumping instructor, andy hen dribbing son. and zombies dress up as him for halloween. it is bill schulz. and he could kill you with a
gun, a gun made of string. sitting next to me, mike baker, former cia operative and current president of diligence, diligence, maker of diligence handbags, staple guns and diligence coffee mugs. diligence, if you knew what we really did your head would be at the bottom of the ocean. your torso would be in a suitcase in guam and your legs in canada in the belly of an elk. >> a block. the lede. that's the first story. >> hi greg, wait, sorry, man. >> okay. does breaching -- preaching peace not work if you are a jerk? according to new research, anti-bullying programs have an opposite effect. a university of texas criminologist looked at data from all 50 states, 50 states, mike! >> we have 50 states? >> and they found students at schools with anti-bullying programs are more likely to become victims of wet willies
where kids who have no such instruction are less likely to suffer from them. the criminologists found that videos and the anti-bullying campaigns may teachers and bullies how to be better at their craft he knows bad seeds are, quote, able to learn. there are new tech teaks and -- techniques and new skills. meanwhile, the skorge -- >> the scurge. >> or scorge. >> that was my nickname in high school. gite scurge of the pig violence continues unabated. >> awful stuff. white on dark violence or whatever color that little -- what color was that pig? baker, what do you make of these findings and how can we blame obama for them?
>> absolutely. first of all they should pho phonetically spell scurge in the tele prompter. >> i did this on purpose, america, to show you what bullying is. i made a mistake. mr. exspy, mr. good looking, grizz swrelled -- g ri zzled, i'm a hot dude started picking on me, the little guy. >> do you have your lunch money? the problem i see with this is similar to a lot of other solutions. it goes back to the family. i know a lot of people feel the same way. i don't know if you develop a bully when they are young teaching them at home, respect for other people, proper behavior. maybe you will get the kids that hear all of that and they come out and they are still bullies, but you are playing the odds, right? you are doing the right thing. i think a lot of this develops right at home. every time you see a bully i would argue, hey, what is going on at the household?
>> usually there are yellers back at home. this study says kids who are exposed to anti-bully propaganda are bigger bullies. it reminds me of a prison where criminals go and they actually learn to become better criminals. it is like we are turning our schools into prisons. >> they know how to game the system. they dwo into these therapy groups and talk about victimization and they learn the language and they say i am a victim of society and then they become lawyers and sue people and then work out a lot and become ripped and you meet them at a bar and they tell you they are into construction. the next thing you know you are tied in the back of an old pick up truck being griffin to a town in pennsylvania. -- being driven to a town in pennsylvania. you don't remember anything, andy. >> is that the same road i have been on? >> it looked familiar. what do you make of this? it is kind of weird. >> it is like we do with the terrorists. we tell them how we will defeat them and then give them
the playbook and they adapt and adjust. >> are you calling american school children terrorists? >> that's what they are, the bullies. >> you are on to something. there is an element of lack of consequence and much like terrorists, let's get them in the u.s. judicial system it is the same with bullies. the school systems don't deal with them immediately upon the act. >> so you are saying put them in gitmo? >> but them on gitmo. >> what exactly is your parenting style? every time are you on the green room you complain your youngest son is using your crotch as a punching bag over limp in after many a many a fight. whatever they are doing do the opposite. >> that's not to say i am not using a taser on them. >> andy, you are kind of a celebrity or so you claim. >> of sorts. >> these anti-bullying psa's you see all of the time, i find them hilarious. you know for a fact that a lot of
people become stars because they feel like they are special, but bullied as kids. in the psa's theysay they were bullied. i think they are at fault and they shores arrested. >> i think the bully psa's are causing all of the problems. i think we should hire a super bully for each school that bullies the bullies. >> that's a good idea. my brother used to beat up the guy that bullied me and that was effective. >> overseas we call that person the headmaster. they would haul in any kid causing trouble and beat them severely. >> could it be if the schools are putting this much emphasis and focus on bullying they get them thinking about bullying. instead of thinking about math and reading. >> and bullying is a subject. bill, they found bullys and crap out of you, sot to beat perhaps you can bring both sides together by letting them kill you, you stupid jerk. >> really kill though?
maybe they can beat me up. >> killing would be better. >> then i die and a new round of bullies come up and it won't do anything. everyone is forgetting the big qualify yes, sir here which is on-line crap. doesn't matter your teaching or parenting skills. unless you get rid of the internet they will learn about bullying on any chat site and anything where you are left to make a comment and any facebook post. these kids are learning all about bullying without getting the negative repercussions on-line and then they bring it to the schoolyard and at that point it won't matter if the kids start crying because they are so desensitized it doesn't matter. i myself have been bullied on-line after every show. let me tell you something, it is quite the scorch. >> did anybody ever pick you for that satin trim? >> no, but they just did again. >> are you on to something and amy is on to something. the
idea that the schools have spent god knows how much money creating these anti-bullying programs. >> and all of the kids are obsessed with bullying. >> it is teaching them how to get away with it because they teachers and them the techniques of bullying. so for a lot of these kids they would say, give me your lunch money or i will punch you. now they are learning, wait a minute. i can be more subtle by going on-line. >> girls are some of the worst bullies. girls can be sneaky and devious and gang up with their facebook and twitter and their texting and it can get really ugly. >> i will go on-line and pretend i am a 12-year-old girl and viciously -- >> they had a show about that. >> i am the vicious aggressor and i bully them just to even the table out. the weirdest thing is i keep getting instant messages from woody allen. >> are the creepy old guys disappointed when they get nude pictures of you?
>> ding, ding, ding. he is a 12-year-old girl. >> the way scurge is spelled it is a lot like gorge with an extra u. dash scurge is a word you never say and you only write. that is the problem with the word. >> it should have been smelled like merge. from bad seats to bad ideas, did we pay riches for all of those glitches? it is already week two of -- >> obama apocalypse don't care gate. >> according to a tech website, the obamacare exchange health care .gov website cost $634 million to build. to put that in perspective that is 100 steve austins.
that's the national currency here at "red eye." a nice shoutout to lee majors. hope you are doing well. it is also more than the amount spent on constructing facebook, twitter and instagram. it is due to shoty goating and and -- coating and poor -- [inaudible]. five whoa whoa an -- ohio ans have signed up for obamacare exchange. to put that in spur -- purr spec tiff, it is five iowa ans. >> good boy. that's a brig one. big one. >> there it is. good boy.
>> stupid dog has no memory. >> amy, is $63 tour million too much to spend for a defective website? >> it is a small price to pay for the health care system to be inoperable. over half a billion dollars for this. and then i read that the daily mail says 50,000 americans have enrolled in obamacare. i don't know the math on that, but i imagine that is millions of dollars. >> but that is in a british newspaper. that is like 500 million americans. >> yes, baker is the problem -- what are you saying? is the problem we didn't spend enough on this website? if we added a couple hundred million dollars more it would be less glitchy. >> i'm surprised the government didn't go in full bore and spend all of the resources the country has remaining.
>> it is pathetic. i have gotten to the point, and maybe it is because i live in idaho, but i don't feel i have a dog in the hunt anywhere weather it is the go -- whether it is the gop or democrats. we keep allowing the system to go on -- this is the part i don't understand. >> are you preaching anarchy? >> no, don't get me wrong. we should march on washington with pitch forks. what we should do is demand term limits. whether we do it state by state or not, until we get the self-interest out of there, we are not going to get the brave decisions we need. if we allow this thing to keep on going -- at the end of the day we are sitting back and laughing about this mess and we continue to spend money and now we are acting like -- >> but obamacare term limited a lot of democrats. they were voted out of office because they voted for this. >> i am talking about giving up on the idea that there is a career to live on capitol hill. >> that's the issue. people have turned it into something that was a part-time job to a full time job. andy, what do you make of five
iowa ans signing up? >> i think there are only five people in hua twhaw have internet, right -- in hua twhaw have internet. >> what idaho? >> do you get that a lot? >> why are people -- this goes back to the whole bullying article. sure, have fun at my expense. bill, you don't have a computer or phone, were you able to access the system you stupid, worthless, piece of trash? >> greg. >> this is what happens. you bully me and i bully him. >> i still feel terrible that greg is having an issue of people making fun of him. >> answer the question. >> i am getting bookended by the bully. >> i had them looking into
similar coverage on their project of the 9th dave inception to see if the media theme was the same. here is the headline, panama canal is more like panama canard. now listen to this, in 1931, here is this, the hoover dam is damned indeed. president franklin roosevelt? more like president franklin bloosevelt. it has always been this way. we need to give it a little more time and also shades of roosevelt and obama, yay? not nay. >> we did give the panama canal back. >> well we had it for a hundred years. >> that would be a good name for a porn series, bloosevelt. >> that's very adult of you. i'm sure your children are saying yea, dad made a sex
joke. we are so proud of him. >> i am bullying you. >> is the world getting better or is it going to hell? is the glass half full or is it full of feces? my pet box turtle and i disagree, but a new book may settle our debate. the new book is not in abba. it measures the damage done to humanity and the planet from 1900 until today. and it looks ahead to 2050. it assigns value to global challenges like climate change and selfies of geraldo. and it reveals that we are much better off today in terms of health and education. and global warming is a net benefit because increased carbon dioxide increases agriculture. you know what is a net benefit? this.
>> the first 28 seconds are adorable and the last 10 seconds are grotesque. >> i didn't even notice the baby until they drew the circle around it. that was helpful. >> that was to help the dogs get closer to the prey. anyway, andy, due think you are -- do you think are you better off than you were in 1900? >> i don't know. i saw that report and it said there are more people and living longer. people think that is a good thing. i think that is a bad thing. i waited in line at starbucks for 20 minutes today. we need some people to die. more people dead, more room on the highways. shorter lines at starbucks. >> i think that is an
interesting point. it will help him get his coffee sooner and everybody should tie. baker, shouldn't the facts diminish hysteria about health care and climate change? joy isn't the po nie it -- >> isn't the point of obamacare is to set more people dying. >> you know what is great the audience back home loved to hear about tele prompter stuff. they can't see it. >> i did that all the time. i have people sending me tweets saying talk about the tele prompter and what is in it. >> if only you cared more about this show that you cared about your hair. >> i read the story. the reason i am doing this, i am not as smart as i look. i didn't understand it. i am going to punt it to somebody else. >> this is the problem in our schools. >> he is a cia and he does president understand that the challenge -- doesn't understand the challenge. >> they didn't give us word
problems. they said there is the objective. do it. >> what you are saying is we should not do that story? >> amy, help me here. >> i honor your service. obviously we were better off than we were in 1900. i am. as an african-american my status would have been quite different than it is now. >> bill is nodding in disgust over that by the way if you didn't catch it. >> there was a fly. >> and i point out that knock on plexiglass we don't have to worry about the germans anymore. >> come owe have been fine for uh -- come on. we have been fine for awhile. sorry, grandpa schulz. we make good car. >> why do you keep the uniform around, bill? >> for our son. it was army for america. this is stuff we don't talk about. >> i think it is important to use a nazi reference when ever you can. >> that is true. i agree with you. by the way, end of the world
business would be good for you. we don't have much time. when you look at uh apocalyptic visions they talk about the earth going to hell. the earth is going to burn up. it is mass starvation. and conservatives go it is characters and people are becoming like animals and want to kill each other. that is interesting. that is a good poin. point. if came with a good poiu wouldn't have to wear a tight t-shirt. >> i like the t-shirt. >> i am not complaining. i am just pointing it out. can looks kill? mike baker discusses his book "i once killed a man by flaring my nostrils and then i hooked up with his hot daughter who i might add was over 18". and how did shirl crow get back with her exlance armstrong? beats me. i haven't read the story yet. female announcer: save up to 35%
all of the cards. federal prison workers are considered essential meaning they have to do their job during the government shutdown even though they are not getting paid. you tbhoa is getting paid? the -- you know who is getting paid? the inmates at the federal prison. it is day who the hell knows of -- >> shutdown disaster. >> it is true. thousands of prison employees are working on an iou for the government. but the criminals are drawing paychecks for what they do at the prison because it is different funding. logical. a private charity says they will cover the cost of death benefits for the fallen troops. the fisher house stepped in after it was revealed the pentagon was not paying the benefits during the shutdown. chuck hagel issued a statement
saying, quote, in the days before the shutdown we warned congress and the american people we would not have the legal authority to make these payments in a lapse of approprations. i don't remember that. amy you said you were going to break some news. i hope that wasn't a lie. >> it is not a lie. it is the absolute truth. just like the federal prison story, the way the government is picking and choosing how it is doing the shutdown is to hurt the little guy. my breaking news is the presidio golf club, apparently you are a member in good standing as you told me, it sits on the same national park where the cliff house is, and where there is all of this controversy and kids can't do sandcastles. the clubhouse is open, the cafe. part of the reason is it is managed by arnold palmer. you don't want to make him mad. >> the drink? >> isn't the club privately run? >> that's the thing. you are see there is an
enforcement of the shutdown edicts. the small businesses risk going out of business because of >> by the way it is desperate. i'm kidding. it is a different word. i was making fun of you. >> desperate. >> do you feel bullied? >> baker, i want to ask you about chuck hagel. he was a veteran. he says he warned the american people. i don't remember it. but then again i was sleeping most of the week. should he resign? owe riley says he has to step down. >> that is not gonna happen. >> should it? >> no. >> answer the question. >> no, it shouldn't. he is part and parcel of this dysfunctional administration. will you ask everybody to step down? to be fair we should ask everybody in washington and on capitol hill to leave now. let's have a new round of elections. they are all awful. >> this is what happens when you move to idaho. you will form your own militia.
>> well, that's true. no, i don't think i am off base here in saying this. what i don't understand is why we are not getting more from the public. i am talking about dissatisfaction. why not demand more? >> i think that's exactly what is going on. >> no, it is not going on. we are standing around and letting it happen and then they will get back to business in six weeks and say i am glad they got that sorted out and we go back to our little lives, and not to diminish our little lives. >> i know what you mean. you are fed up and tired. why not run for office, for gosh sakes. with your looks you could get a hundred votes jie. we need finance reform of the guys that are not wealthy cannot run for office. >> we are off the rails. >> what now you are the producer? >> when ever we go off the rails we must blow them. >> prisoners getting paid and guards not. thoughts? >> that's not good.
i am upset about this, the congress not getting anything. i think we should take away their pay until they come to an agreement. i read on-line they make total $250,000 a day. if we can take that money we can put that toward the funeral benefits. get extra money and make them wear clown suits until they get their you know what together. >> that's a good point, that's enough money to handle the problem. the congressman should have volunteered that. bill, this is crazy, this idea of the inmates getting paid. it is like you being paid while i'm not which is the actual opposite here at "red eye." >> i would like to be paid. >> we had an agreement when you came here seven years ago this was an unpaid internship. >> i can't live on green room food alone. look at me. the make up covers up the orange. it is doing something bad to my liver. it is interesting that we seem to be making a cottage industry during the day on some networks of talking about
how bad all of this stuff is. we are glossing over whose fault it is. it comes from a conservative congressman who recently said of the republican party, quote, we are not going to be disrespected which is what it comes down to. we have something to get out of this. that's all that needs to be said. we are in the middle of the crap storm and being pelted by more crap and pelted with feces. >> you act like that is a problem. >> that is a dream of mine, but then again i am german. >> say something about the prison and inmates getting paid, i was just in chicago at a correctional facility. >> must be nice. >> exactly. we were doing a story for the new travel channel show that is premiering in november. anyway, the point being i spent the day with a bunch of correctional officers working through riot scenarios. honest to god, that is such an
incredibly tough job. you talk about this -- this is the sort of thing that can make your head spin. the inmates are getting paid and the correction officers are not. nothing is functioning in washington. i keep going to that point. when are we going get in our car and demand better? >> i don't own a car. >> i give up. i hate myself for loving you, can't break free from the things you do. not a story, just a note i caught steve dues see carving into my desk. he had a knife so i let him finish. is the armor -- the army closer to a real life ironman suit? would it stop us from reporting this story if it weren't true? of course not.
all right, we said yes we can to ironman. according to a new report from our military super human body armor may be three years away. look at that. that's an actual picture. those are photographs of what they have. it may look like a drawing, but it is a photograph of a drawing. the army has commissioned tactile-like assault suits that would give soldiers super human abilities liken hansed -- like enhanced night vision and protection from gunfire. now protection from liquid
metal has been added to the mix and gives you a better chance of walking through a hail of bullets unharmed. wow this is long. scientists say it sounds like ironman. i think we have that point here. it is one of the things you see in movies. who picked this? jesus, people. it would be the kind of exter national suit that sigourney weaver wears in "aliens" where it is a large robot that amplifies the motions and the ability of the human. >> how are you been? >> busy. >> what are you doing after the show? >> lightning roooooooouuuuunnnnndd. lightning round. baker, how close are we to having an army full of iron men? >> this is like ironman. it is a little like it. >> next question.
>> i think we are really close. >> have i nothing. >> what do you think we are three years away? >> two and a half to three years away. depending if the government shutdown continues we may never get there. >> and then you should march on washington in the self-made iron suit. >> here you go. iso-skeletons. >> that's what i'm doing in the compound in idaho. >> andy, are there down sides to a platoon full of dudes wearing exowe-skeletons. >> it sounds like the thing from "aliens" with sigourney weaver. perhaps they can use the same programmers of the obama website. >> that would be a disaster, amy. could this be used in everyday life? that's what happens. you build something in the military space program and we end up using it. we could be walking around in them all the time. >> i think you could use it to
fight aliens or monsters that rise from the deep ocean. interest elbow was in a movie and i watch that when i can. that's different. >> that's for the entertainment weekly spot you will do later. >> okay, okay, greg. >> you were supposed to laugh at the hard news part. >> the fact she didn't was either an insult or compliment. >> i don't know. >> bill, this is a smart story about smart things. since are you stupid should i skip you? >> no i can still have thoughts on it, dumb thoughts mind you. the big problem here is marvel universe. we have caught up with marvel universe. marvel started in the 1960s. all of these things like ironman or plastic man, we caught up to them. we have caught up to them. now that they waited so long to make it part of the movie viewing experience they can't have all of the things we grew up on because we have them
now. this is why you will never see one of their favorite characterss from the 60s, dvr man. that's not a cool thing to watch anymore. >> it is interesting that you say that. you don't see the archies anymore. >> no, that we have gotten rid of freckles. >> what ever happened to richie rich? >> they made a movie. >> i think it was ron goodman. >> no more scrooge mcduck. >> the talking ducks are not a big deal anymore. >> george jetson's boy, his son? >> elroy. >> nice, nice. >> a new study from baylor you have the, go peanut allergies, claims the growing use of the internet to self-diagnose illnesses has brought on a new brand of hypochondria called cyber con dree yaw. worrywarts that run their symptoms through a search engine create a stress while
delaying proper care. if i am somebody who has uncertainty i search more and go to the doctor more frequently and the more you search the more you consider the possibilities. wow that was interesting. amy, are things like web md a bad idea? >> i think they should be completely banned. i completely misunderstood this story. i thought it was people who use the computer think they are being made sick by the computer. >> really? >> i didn't understand that. >> we have stellar crowd tonight. >> this is like "meet the press" with head injuries. somebody laughed. people worry too much and they go to the doctor. maybe this is better because they do a google search which they don't go to the doctor as much.
>> well they will still go to the doctor. but i don't think it is a bad idea for them to have access to more medical information because what you really want is you want to go to the doctor and ask questions. the problem has been in the past you go and the doctor tells you something and you accept it. while some in the medical profession may not like getting all of those questions, it is good for the consumer to try to educate themselves. i do agree with the story. there are a lot of people that will sit there and misinform themselves and then they start to get more and more -- what is the word i am looking for? sick. >> what was the thing you were doing on the table? >> this is the universal symbol for typing. when i wear my exo-skeleton it looks like this. >> andy, isn't the problem here that any mild symptom can be a symptom of something that will kill you? >> yeah. >> if you have a cough or backache, those are symptoms for cancer too. it freaks the hell out of you.
>> i have mild anxiety anyway. hang officers cause that. i have gone on there and i got that symptom and oh my god i have bubonic plague. where did i catch the plague? that girl gave me the plague. >> and then you call her up or visit her? >> no, you run. >> you haven't stopped running. bill, you once typed into your symptoms and it told you you were already dead. that that is accurate, you dead piece of crap. >> bullies. >> what have we established? we established the internet creates more bullies and does the internet create more hypocon hypochondriacs? don't go on web md, but here is an idea. why not go to weded-md. that is a series of photographs of doctors with webbed hands. picture them in their overcoats and they pick up their foot and they look like human ducks. that's something people can
get into. freakish doctors with webbed digits, greg. hear me out. >> i am plugging my ears. >> doctor, do you take united health care? >> i don't know, look at this. >> andy, you say running is a good form of sexual protection? >> why go wrong when you have webbed feet? >> i hope he gets hit by a truck . on the way home i hope he is run over by a truck and lives, but he is dragged for miles. >> i have buth ions. bunions. >> i am going to hire diligence. >> we will talk about "the joy of hate" autographed copy. buy at least 20 copies if you can. right now.
did crow sing like a bird? a new book about lance armstrong claims his one-time girlfriend sheryl crowe informed on him to the teds. she is on -- to the feds, she is on the right. they say in 2011 the singer told fda investigators she was present when armstrong got an illicit blood transfusion in 2004. she said he did it right in front of her while they were flying to belgium on a private jet. he told her it was part of the sport. you know who doesn't need a stupid bike to get around? >> it is like a moving art insta ligs. lizard [bleep] turtle. >> we will have to bleep
lizard. >> baker stick to the story. straight up revenge from an ex, correct? >> well, no, i mean i think she saw she could be potentially in trouble. i think she had -- she was offered immunity basically to talk. you know, he spent all of this time -- it is like every other story, wiener, spitzer, every other story he spent all of that time suing others and taking money he didn't deserve and the the -- the feds were coming after him and they said sign this immunity agreement and tell us what you know. >> i disci's agree. i think -- i disagree. i think it was revenge from an ex. >> i looked at this story and i thought, boy, he must have been a real bastard, but things did not break up well or maybe he didn't pay her enough money going out the exit door. >> that doesn't speak well of cheryl though. >> i am being cynical. she wasn't protecting her ex. it seems to me that if are you
a famous guy who is dating anybody you should watch your back. >> shouldn't lance have married her so she couldn't be compelled to testify? >> to shut her up? >> yeah, that's what a lot of guys do. >> he lied to everybody. at least she was the one person he was honest with. >> awe. that's pretty. that's very pretty. >> that was poetic. >> i will put a nice spin on it because i was thinking about what i just said. i should have done it beforehand. the nice spin would be she also probably discovered as many women do that she was dating a psycho path. that is extraordinarily painful and clarifying. >> that is so true. >> i have seen a nicer spin on a dreidel. >> hobo carl, you had an ugly break up. did he rat you out? >> i strus him. i will tell you why, he does not own a phone. i think i am safe, but i think
i speak for most of america. when i read this i thought, what a mark. narc. do not date somebody unless they keep it to themselves. lance armstrong has 99 problems and the snitch is one. >> interesting. by the way hobo carl talks a lot about you. >> how do you think he makes money? >> do you have a comment on the show? e-mail us at fox news at -- red eye at fox news.com. go to fox news.com/red eye and click on submit a video and we may use it. our next topic is next.
so, andy will be on the real story with gretchen carlson on friday at 2:00 p.m. eastern time. and i am hosting "the o'reilly factor" 8:00 pl eastern. a new "red eye airs on saturday. we have patti ann browne and nick gillespie saturday at 11:00 p.m. eastern. >> it looks like they had a fight. >> e block. last story. that's the last story. >> they need more persuasion
to prep for the invasion. a russian military space official announced the country has no place in combat. no plan in place to combat an alien attack from another galaxy. saying, quote, there are enough problems on earth and in near earth space. but as one military advisor explained last year, the u.s. has a plan and it counts on america and russia fighting together because as the world super powers they would be best to lead the counterattack. so should we be worried that mother russia is unprepared for the first alien war? for that we turn to our frightened correspondent, joe mackey. how devastating is this news? >> it is not that big a loss, greg. we have bigger fish to fry. we cannot agree on whether or not iran is bad, and we will waste available evacuation time trying to figure out which country eric snowden will might for. >> interesting point and glad you are taking it calmly.
can we win the alien war without russia? >> not a chance. we are doomed. hollywood has made us overly optimistic on how we would fare against an alien invasion. they mastered stellar travel. they travel billions of miles and show up as naked aliens that are killed by water. those aliens would have pants and light sabers. >> is there anything we can do to prepare or are we doomed? >> we are doomed, but your best bet is to stay away from landmark buildings that would look cool if they exploded on a movie. another piece of advice i would say is to find a beautiful lady and say hey the world is gonna end and ask her to marry you. >> that's romantic. next story. a new report claims drunk moose are becoming a problem overseas apparently in sweden. gangs of moose are getting hammered on rotten apples that have fallen from trees and
fermented on the ground. one homeowner said a gang of drunk room were threatening and refused to let him in his own garden. what do you do in that situation? >> import siberian tigers and then destroy them with habitat loss. we are better at destroying tigers than problem drunk mooses. >> good point. do you think this problem will spread across the world? >> we don't do sobriety tests on animals, we blame it on the medula-oblongota. >> could other animals gett drunk and form scary gangs? >> that's almost too scary to contemplate. that's why i have not contemplated it. just picture this, greg, you are at a chicago bears gang and a gang of drunk bears is there. they think you are looking at their girlfriend. >> that is true. i want to move on quickly.
three people in chicago were treated for the flesh-eating drug known as crocadill. it is popular in russia. it is codeine and gasoline mixture. it leaves with you rep -- reptile-like skin. is this how the world will end? >> no we will have killer robots before this has a chance to get us all. >> vaw tried it yet? >> no, i won't take unpack kennelinged halloween -- unpack kennelinged halloween candy. >> do you think it will be america's drug of choice? >> i strongly doubt. it that's why i think we should make heroin cheaper. people would be like, we will try heroin before that. just don't put the president in charge of that. it will be more expensive. >> joe, as always, you add a lot of panic to today's stories. it is always a joy to go home more neither advice than i was when i woke up. we have to thank amy oams, bill schulz, mike baker who
hello everyone. i'm greg along with andrea, bob, dana. it's 5:00 in new york city apparently. the death benefit fiasco is outrage in a bottle. the evil that seems lex luker than legislative. the refusalle to pay death benefits to men that died for their country. what's next, drowning orphans to save on laundry? blame the left or right. that misses the point,
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