they corrected the mistake, at least i think. >> good luck, shane, and thanks for being with us. >> thank you. >> stay tuned for thewire. goodnight. welcome to "red eye." tonight -- >> coming up on "red eye." has the fbi finally found db cooper? shocking new evidence suggests he is alive and working at a kansas city arby's. plus, does the president turning down a cameo on "entourage"? >> all of us have moments when we look back and wonder whatwh the heck was i thinking? >> and finally have youth gymnastics become a training ground for a low general ofsupe cia super spies? the story nbc sports doesn't want you to hear. none of these stories on "red eye" tonight. >> and now let's welcome our guests.gues i am here with the lean queen of mean. ed
never trust a liberal over 3, especially a republican. for every copy purchased, none of the proceeds will go to charity. finally, and here to bring yet another showdown it is tv's andy levy. and it is the legendary and sexy comedian jim norton. he premieres on thursday on netflix. i will hunt you down and kill you with my bare feet. you are talking while i am doing introductions. that drives me crazy. mix to me, the only superman that mattered, actor dean cain. you can see him defending santa. it is when santa is arrested for mass murder. this sunday at 9:00 p.m. on ion? ore ion? >> ion television. >> a block. the lede. that's the first story. >> that's a good question. well, it is the decision that is tearing our country and perhaps the world apart. yes it is time for this.
>> red eye debate, 2013. live from the red e center. joy this is the red eye -- >> this is the red eye debate center. >> sexiest man alive? or best jive? they picked adam levine as the sexiest man ever and it was met with hate all over the globe. >> that is their maroon 5 spring. and not just because the maroon 5 singer is a d-bag who makes terrible music. they noticed that levine's mug was another white face gracing the cuff. indeed since "people" magazine started awarding the title it
has only gone to one man of color, denzel washington. apparently ty digs was not sexy enough or white enough. same with elba and malco. did i screw that name up? and michael b williams. why did levine win? i bet andy has answers to that and i did some research. ♪ >> no. that is disgusting. dean, are you an expert on all things sexy. you make adam levine look like a genital wart.
it's true. it's true. if you put them side by side, one is a man and the other one is an hpv wart. does he deserve this title? >> well, i don't -- it is a tough title. one year i was on the sexiest -- 50 sexiest and that's as far as i got. >> wow. >> and then apparently i haven't been sexy anymore which sucks. >> have you gotten sexier as you have gotten older. >> i think so. but she a singer and he has the singer factor that kicks it over the edge. >> i can use my voice to make pretty sounds. i must be good in bed. that's so not true. if you ever had sex with a bird it is disgusting. jim, have you ever met adam levine and accidentally slept with him? >> i have not. but i met a woman in a dress who resembled adam levine. and man voted most meed yolker gentleman by field and stream i understand the pressure with the awards. you feel the need to behave in
a sexy way. it is body facism, that's what it is. >> couldn't agree more. >> by the way. he has always walked around without a shirt. look, i have abs. if you have abs when you are 50, then you can saunter around. you are supposed to look like that. i am obviously very angry over this. i think they made the wrong choice. who would have been your sexiest man alive, and don't say pat buchanan because that's what you said last year. >> no pat buchanan. >> mitt romney? joy well there is bill schulz. i would like you to go back to telling dean how sexy he is. i enjoyed that portion of the evening. this is the same complaint that the left always has about these things. the only concept of diversity is the color of faces on the
cover of the magazine are on writing the articles. in these sexiest articles why is there never a single female on air on fox news? you could do the entire fox news -- >> that is true. >> no seriously. why has sean hannity has never been on? why not mel gibson? or andy. i was looking at him. he was in the conversation about sexy. >> andy, when you heard this news you punched a wall. >> a couple of things, as you eluded to, i am sitting next to the sexiest machine alive, jim norton. but this whole thing, why does he have to be the sexiest man alive this paul new man, carrie grant, jake gylenhaal, any of them i think is as --
is sexier than adam uh vein. >> nobody is attacking the sexiest man. we never attack the runner up. >> who is the runner up? >> nobody knows. if we knew we wouldn't hate his guts. we just hate the sexiest man. >> is it maggie gylenhaal? sorry. wrong gender. you know why they don't choose a black person for number one? it doesn't sell enough magazines. it is purely capitalistic. the percentage of population is smaller than whites and then they assume that will appear to more whites, i think. >> but it is hurting my push to be the center fold in jet. >> it is a small magazine. >> have i a leather vest i want to wear, shirtless. >> i love jet. >> me too. he has a tattoo on his shoulder in script letters that says "los angeles." what a douche. you should be disqualified for that. >> there should be a robot
monster created that goes through town and strips tattoo off people who don't deserve them, like posers who are not construction workers or military. people who deserve them. cops deserve them. not him. the machine has to come and shred the ink right off you. it could be painless, but it could be painful. >> military is not allowed to have tattoo up to a certain point. >> it has to be on areas where like up here because you might get a job interest -- interview and you don't want tattoos on your wrist. >> i signed a guy's ass after a show one time and he had my name tattooed on his heinie. true story of the he had plump cheeks too. >> it is will ford brimley. he is a huge fan. he can make your name do weird things. >> i was like really?
>> this guy had your name tattooed on his buttocks? >> just on one cheek. >> oh that's normal then. i thought it was both cheeks. >> it would be creepy if it went from one to the other and then a pows -- pause in the middle. >> we are not even talking about the media. they picked a man named adam levine as the sexiest man? >> as the resident jew? >> no because he is a singer. >> you said obviously jews control this. >> so weird your mind goes there. >> you set me up for that. do he risk your life with a phony knife? the prankster named josh palor lynn posted a video in which they staged what looks like a man getting stabbed. it is titled getting stabbed in public prank. it is pretty clever. it racked up 52 trillion views on-line. have a look, look havers.
>> relax. >> i have been waiting for a longtime. >> call the cops! call the cops! >> lay down, lay down. >> the video includes a voicemail from the police telling him he is not in trouble, but he could be if he ignores the officers' calls. he has promised on twitter that he has, quote, another crazy one coming up. i can hardly wait. i hope it is like this one.
>> slow day, huh? >> you know what makes it a funny prank? the balloons are coated with arsenic. >> oh that's a terrible thing to say. but you are a cat lover and a dog hater. jim, does this discourage people from helping people truly this need? what if somebody is choking and on the street and you say, well, wait a minute i might be filmed for a prank. >> greg, i said the same thing to 30 strangers today. i was talking to people randomly saying if i am choking, then what? this is harsh. you stay on someone's lawn and you say do you have prince albert in a can? they say yes and you throw a molotov cocktail through the window. >> that's beautiful. anne, don't you think eventually someone is going to shoot one of these kids and
then they are going to get sued because you shot him without realizing it was a prankster and isn't that great? >> it would be. the fable of the boy who cries wolf is he can't get help in the future. they are preventing anyone getting help being stabbed. we have to stab one of these guys. >> that's the only way they will stop. they are creating risk in society. the only way to stop that is by punching them by stabbing them. we don't ab do indicate that. >> you may not. what would have made this hilarious is if somebody stopped to help this guy and found out oh you are being pranked and then he took out a knife and actually stabbed the guy and everybody thought it was a prank and the guy bled out. >> it was a double prank. >> that i would have watched over and over. >> or there was somebody mixed up and it was the wrong guy. it was really just a guy with the knife accidentally and then we would see what
happens. >> i like how you changed that around. shouldn't this be against the law? i don't know how you make it into a crime. >> i happen to know people who would do bad things to that guy who did that. not saying until -- not saying i am one of them. these guys will get hurt. that's ridiculous. there should be something to stop that. that's ridiculous. like i said, i know a lot of people who would have gone after that original guy and he deserves it. i am all for pranks. pranks are funny and that's not funny. >> superman came down and was busy because he is trying to save all of these other people and he says oh this guy -- superman would basically do horrible things to him. >> superman would. i might just shoot him. >> you know, i used to think the worst thing was liberals who didn't get jokes. now i think the worst thing are liberals who -- it is prevalent amoung that breed of people. people who don't get jokes, but they think they are
funny. you have to understand what funny is. this is not funny. there is that parody where they -- they call it a parody website. it is called the daily current? it is not funny. they don't know what satire is. >> the problem is people are out -- some people fall for it. >> it is natural to fall for it. why wouldn't you fall for it? normally it is because it is funny. this, not funny. i think you could win a case in court by saying this isn't funny. of course people believe it. >> do you know what we used to do when i was a teenager, not to encourage this, but we would run into a store and we would switch the blue and the black socks on the rack and watch people say what is going on here? >> if only you had a digital camera back then. >> i know. but instead we would just call in bomb threats. >> almost the same amount of amusement. andy, wasting police team tracking kids down? >> yeah. >> shouldn't there beacons qenses? >> i would think wasting the
police's time is illegal, isn't it? >> i think so. >> the police get involved it is, but if you are just fooling good samaritans it is not against the law. >> no, but if you are wasting the police's time, yeah. >> what if a good samaritan knocks that guy out? >> it would be fantastic. >> well there is video, unless you are really good, there is a guy who takes someone's purse and it is a joke and this guy in the foreground happens to be this karate dude and looks back over and the guy runs across and he kicks him in the face and laid him out. everybody said no, no, it is a joke. he said that's not that funny. it was destruction of property -- >> there was one where it was destruction of property and he would smash the milk on the floor and he acted like he sliped. he did it once and broke his arm. it was funny to watch him hurt himself of the he would slam the milk and pretend he fell. i was never happier.
>> there should be a show where they talk about videos and then never show them. >> that's what we do every day. >> the people at home are saying we have not seen these videos. now we have to look for them. andy, any last words? i like to help people and i am not helping anymore. >> you have never helped anyone in your life. >> i have helped people. >> it is for personal gain. >> that's true, but now i won't do that anymore. >> stuff happens in cities these days because nobody wants to get involved. look at that sex durchen in cleave end -- sex durch general in cleveland. >> that was one of the things about the video. not many people to bed to help the guy who was stabbed which was discouraging really. >> well that's the way life is now. i have no funny comment for that. >> that's sad. >> it is sad. and it is time for a break. coming up, jim norton discusses what the holidays mean to him. spoiler alert, family friends and eggnog. but first, does this video sum
her smile was frozen like tuesday, a day of the week. the obamacare website crashed on day whatever of -- >> obama-apacalypso gate. >> covered all of the bases there. the health and human services secretary was in miami to promote the program when disaster struck. >> i think it is great. it has been a longtime coming.
>> i'm sorry but it is temporarily down. >> it will come back. >> it happens every day. >> it happens every day. well with news cameras rolling the system didn't work. can we watch this again in slow motion? >> it has been a longtime coming. >> it's temporarily down. >> uh-oh. >> it's okay it will come back. >> it happens every day. >> why is that 10 times funnier? they enjoy themselves more in slow motion. and americans have difficulties accessing the health care website. >> stupid cat. you always say to me when life
gives you lemons, make lemonade. is that what they should do? >> they salem money neighed for -- they say lemonade for everyone. that's what you should do is watch a guy like chris angel. i think they should get people who do porn websites do the website. they never crash. >> never. and they of oner more than you need. >> and there is a lot of band width and a lot of people on them at the sale time. >> it is insane. sometimes after 20 minutes there are so many windows open you don't know where you are. it is like you are lost in a made of flesh. >> oh my god. i have to close the horse one to see the blonde one. >> oh this german one is making me sick to my stomach. watch it some more. dean, i don't know what i am talking about. >> oh you do. >> oh i do. >> that video sums up everything, right?
>> i tweeted about this at one point. if he was in the private sector she would be -- can you imagine the ceo of a company, any company, privately held and that is your website and it crashes in front of you and the guy next to you goes uh-oh. it be fud dels me. it defies logic. >> the person saying uh-oh that is like throw it under the bus. he should say oh that is my fault. i hit the coffee. i hit the plug. oops, i spilled coffee. in this debacle can you jump the kenyan born shark? i don't know what i said. >> m why against the fixation on the website. they will get it fixed. that's not the problem with it. it does make me think that we could keep -- besides the fact that people will be getting notices in the mail with premium going up and insurance being canceled and that's the
issue as long as we can keep filming these government employees now that it started with the website it continues with the rest of obamacare it doesn't matter. you can do the video right now by going to the department of motor vehicles. >> that's true. it is reflective of so many things. will obamacare be forever remembered by the video or your homely face? >> i would think more by the homely face. >> anne i agree with you. at some point the website will get fixed. are they happy with their health insurance under the new law? if so all of this is mostly eventually going to be forgotten. you haven't they said now they don't even have part of the website built where you can actually pay? >> it is like opening a movie theater and not having somebody selling tickets. >> it is like going to a porn
site and picking your niche with things like korean and cast and midget and then you get to the check out and all you can do is watch a 30-second preview clip. >> it drives me crazy. >> you dirty, dirty boys. >> this is greg we are talking about and not me. >> you get 30 seconds? i can stop that five times. >> we are talking about greg. >> what if this happens on the website. i know it will get fixed, but is that not indicative of the whole thing being a disaster? if you can't do the website right how will you do the whole thing right? >> it will hit on the wrong point and way too much time is being spent on the website and on the fact that gay guys are required to buy maternity care and pediatric dental care. we will all have to pay for a sex change operation. >> finally. >> again? >> i am going back now. >> and that is the problem.
that's why the prices are going up. you have all of blue shield pulling out of california. you have doctors dropping out. you will not be able to get a doctor who went to an american medical school. that's the problem. i think they are exaggerating because it will be fixed sooner than they are claiming. >> interesting theory. >> i think that guy threw her under the bus. when that crashed she said exactly as i was hoping for. >> did the person who says this happens every day, was that somebody who works with sebelius? >> yes. they were trying to be helpful. >> they need to be fired. you don't say this happens every day. >> i have never seen that before. >> you know when they look at sebelius they are scared of upsetting her. that's how this happened. nobody is telling anybody bad news. she is like that lady in -- what is it?
"one thousand and one dalmatians dalmatian"? >> cruella deville. >> i had a point. oh, my p oi nt. the website is important because without it we didn't have any tangible, immediate criticism of obamacare because it was always this big, giant program that was going come down from the sky. so the fact that this isn't working, it is true. republicans tend to grab and hammer and hammer and hammer, but it is the only thing they've got right now. >> it is a great shot of the incompetence. if you can't get your website to work it is the government wasting your money. that's why nobody trusts them. they couldn't make gambling work. how do you lose money in off track betting? >> that's true. this is not a joke. >> they lost money on that. how does it happen?
>> it was otb -- what was her name? it is on the tip of my tongue. >> i think where they went wrong -- >> hazel dukes! >> they would let you bet after the race was over is where they went wrong. in retrospect, maybe not the greatest decision in the world, but it was helpful to a lot of people. >> they said if you liked your bet you can keep your bet. >> they keep committing the same mistake over and over again. the government is better at private enterprise. but we will invest our retirement and education and health care in the incompetence. we gave into the argument 40 years ago and we never bothered to fight back. >> i don't like his movies. >> coming up, the c block. tonight's c block is sponsored by the universe.
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three and a half grams, that's a lot, from an undercover cop in washington, d.c. as the wire.com points out the fiscal conservative may have paid too much for the stuff. according to the d.a., a half ounce of coke goes for $450 to $600. i wouldn't know about this stuff. he paid stwo 50 for an eighth of an ounce -- 250 for an eighth of an ounce or to coin a phrase, an 8 ball. typical bureaucrat. "red eye" probably underpaid for this video. >> i was just saying if it didn't fall we overpaid for that. why look at a cat video on a step if it doesn't fall. that's stupid. jim you wrote about this in your last book, know your
dealer. i think it confused a lot of your readers. >> it was a spelling error, but i made it work. >> what does it say about a person who overpays for drugs? >> if it is a person preaching responsibility and then overpaying it is do as i say and not as i do. >> i don't even know how to follow-up on that. as i was walking over here i was scanning my iphone because i am young. i saw an article on there basically saying he should resign. do you agree that he should resign over this mistake? >> i would have to see the district first. >> fight and then win.
>> i like that answer. he is the first sitting congressman to get charged for a drug crime. is that impressive or sad? what l your thoughts in general? he is the first to be charged. it is stupid he is the first one to be caught. he is for legalization of the congressman wreaking the rules. >> if he is for legalization then let him go. >> in april in a debate he said he was opposed to the de criminalization of marijuana. >> there he is. >> i will give him credit though. he is against the war on drugs. and he co-sponsored a bill to reform the mandatory sentencing laws for nonviolent crimes. >> now i am changing my mind. >> he is not hipocritical on that. >> from you a democrat and in favor of adultery and drug use and murder and sex, well okay then there is never a
scandal. why can't you have a good position on something and more importantly can we see if it is a strongly republican district? >> yes, andy? you were pursing your lips. >> i want to know why we are not drug testing members of congress. >> that's a great idea. >> they are public officials and they are wanting people who get food stamps be to be drug testing, why not drug test them? why not drug test the president of the united states because we know he will fail. i am not talking about barack obama. i am talking my uncle steve. i said this before. i am for high politicians and not high taxes. it is hard to raise your taxes when you are smashed. >> did you hear what is going on with the mayor of toronto? guy who mentions the obvious a month later. >> where is a snarky guy when you need him? >> that was snarky guy.
i guess he moved to toronto. >> very good, very good. a new study found the key to a happy marriage is the wife's ability to scam down after an -- to calm down after an argument. researchers from cal berkeley found that women are better at starting difficult conversations that resolve problems, but only if they have had enough time to cool down. if the husband tries to start the talks she will criticize him for trying to resolve things too quickly. i am confused. i kind of understand this. if says the husband's emotional regulation has no bearing on the long-term marital satisfaction. >> i don't see how any rational discussion could explain what was happening. >> the women you cheat with, are they aware you inevitably cheat on them? >> they don't care. it is a financial transaction.
no vows kept. your gift is in the envelope on the dresser. now i will rub it with alcohol and pray. >> you are a hopeless romantic. anne, have you many suiters? >> i am mad about something you said two years ago. >> that's proof. i don't remember. oh i kind of -- i am not going >> i am just kidding! it was a joke. >> you were backpedaling. >> i was. >> it gives you time to think of it. >> i did think of it. >> there were like 20 things you bleeped you shouldn't have. >> first it was a joke and now it is not a joke. >> it is not, but i am obviously -- i am not going to explain it. >> of course i will apologize
later for awful this. dean, basically husbands have to give in all the. that's how it works. it is simple. happy wife, happy life, from the guy who has never been married. what the hell do i know? >> you realized you would be unhappy apparently. >> that's why i am still happy. >> i am the only person here, andy, that is married, i believe, correct? >> i believe that is correct. >> and how ironic you have cats. >> i don't know what the word ironic means. >> you are anti-marriage. >> i i don't hate marriage. >> i like marriage for other people. the senior author of the study says when wives suggest problems and selects solutions it helps couples deal with conflict. this may not work for husbands who criticize for leaping into
problem-solving mode too quickly. not only is it better when the women calm down, it is worse -- it is not going to not have bearing, but it is worse if the man calms down first. this is why i am not married. >> the man cannot volunteer to help. >> if the man decides to get logical before the woman does, the woman gets mad because it is not at that point. >> she may feel her emotional needs are not being met. they are jumping into the practical discussions. >> you can just walk right into a dr. phil segment. >> i love a good dr. phil segment. >> do you find the argument does tend to end when you give them the envelope? >> i pop walk and a woman is a wonderful dancer. >> we are going to take a
should gi joe be a plain jane? an internal e-mail, my favorite kind, says the army shouldn't use photos of hot women to go with stories about female soldiers and military life. colonel arnhart says they are counterproductive because, quote, ugly women are competent and pretty women are perceived as using their looks to get ahead. she says that while a photo of an average looking female soldier with mud on her face sends the message that women are willing to do the dirty work necessary to get the job done. it can actually undermind the
message. he is in charge of a team looking at women in combat roles. this is the only combat i want to say. -- i want to see. >> i could watch that for days and i have. jim, i was watching you as i was reading this because i have a wandering eye. you were outraged by this story. it insensed you to no end. >> looks are unimportant as long as she is nude. >> that is your answer for everything. as long as she is nude. dean, isn't this the opposite of hollywood and isn't that cool? they say we don't want people to be concentrating on
attraction? >> it is cool and it is the opposite of hollywood. last year i did a show called "stars earn stripes." you compete and the winner of that happened to be a phenomenal looking eve torres who is gorgeous and a much better shot with a pistol than i am. jm -- i am torn. >> an attractive woman who is competent could attract men to enlist i would think. that would be a good thing, but they would be enlisting for the wrong reasons. >> get trapped in a fox hole with eve torres and you will change your mind. >> who didn't change your mind after "private benjamin." >> a tragically under rated film. >> i will turn on the tv and "private benjamin"? >> it is a seems like old times gold -- goldie hawn marathon. >> "bird on a wire."
>> women need to get out of the military and stop having them vote. >> i love how women stream lined things and we have a study on how good looking they can be to be on this council. i would like the photo to indicate whether they are capable of opening a jar of pickles. . >> interesting. i read about that. i want them to be capable of ruthlessly killing anything and everything. andy, you claim to be a veteran. of what, i am not sure. >> congratulations. >> thank you for your service. joy you were -- >> you were in korea briefly. >> there is a middle ground here. >> i agree with what she says you don't want to show a woman who is super clean and her face is all made up in a combat position. a, it is not going to be like that. b, it sends a bad message.
i agree that a woman with a mud streaked face is a much better way to go. i just don't understand. it could be a pretty woman with a mud streaked face or an average looking woman or ugly woman. i don't think it makes a difference. if the goal is to show that women can handle combat, using a made up soldier is counterproductive to that. >> what about the ones with the men? >> they didn't have this discussion until women were forced into combat roles in the military. >> if you see pictures the guy is not a perfectly creased uniform with his hair done. he has caw ma flog and mud on his face and it should be the same for women. >> the physical requirements should be the same. >> i can post them to our website. >> that's the issue if the standards are different. >> they are massively different. >> in combat roles? >> yes.
>> are you sure? >> yes, i'm sure. >> are you positive? >> there aren't going to be women in congress. >> to be fed into the pipeline where you end up in combat, ie through the various military academies women have to carry half a backpack and men have to carry 80 pounds on their back. they have to run 50 yards as opposed to 50 miles. >> that was really important. >> i think it pretty much made the show. >> we have 10 seconds. say something. >> i like pretty girls. >> 9ly hahnness -- finally honesty. coming up, we will talk about "it's a wonderful life"
street" but if i have that special someone over i like" it's a wonderful life". >> two classics. >> those are very good. i like "the deer hunter." the whole family gets around the rsh sheen riew -- around the russian roulette scene. it is called "defending santa." it is on at sunday at 9:00 p.m. on -- >> on ion television. >> what does santa do that needs to be defended? >> he wakes up homeless someplace and we don't know what is wrong with him. he says he is kris kringle and he have to put him on trial because we don't know who he is. some law person makes that happen. it is like miracle on 34th street. we put him on trial and we question christmas. if he goes down christmas may be over forever. it is a great little family movie. i love family christmas
movies. >> i do too, but i love family mass smof vees. i like showing up at their houses and looking through the windows as they watch them. you are sheriff. >> correct. >> you played superman and now sheriff. the thing that strikes me the most, you are a widower. why in every tv movie or movie they have to add a widower to make you more attractive than you already are. you are already a 10. widower makes uh 12. >> then you can have a love interest. and i have one in this movie. >> plus all of the women watching when they find out you are a widower, awe. >> raising a girl by himself. >> of course he is. he is a great parent. >> in real life i am a single father. and i am single. i am single and a wonderful father. >> i'm sure you are. >> this holiday i don't want to be alone. i am just saying.
>> that's the saddest inning to "red eye" i have ever seen in my life. >> i am not going to be with andy. >> it would be lonely. him and his cats. >> do you ever tell people you are a widower? >> on first dates i say i hope to some day be one. >> well, i guess that is that. it is 9:00. and jody sweetin is in it. >> she is awesome. what a great girl. >> from "full house." did you rip with jokes about the olson twins? >> no. i didn't watch it that much. she is great and she has gone through tough things in her life. she is well on the way back to doing well. >> excellent. >> she's hot too.
hello, everyone. i'm kimberly along with bob beckel and eric bolling, it's 5:00 in new york city, and this is "the five." today we're remembering president john f. kennedy 50 years after he was assassinated. it's a day that marks his death, but today we'll remember his life, tonight on "the five," but first, another day, another obama care delay. this one pushing back the enrollment period until after the 2014 midterm elections. now, according to one journalist, the unraveling of the health care law is causing some