things outside politics. that's my good, bad and ugly for 2013. see you next week. al ber to, welcome to red eye. tonight -- >> coming up on "red eye," level tating hot chicks. bizarre illusion or human evolution? does the white house think the christmas was a mistake? >> wasn't great for the country. it was terrible for the country. wholly unnecessary. finally, are the americans considering replacing soccer players with cows for next world cup? the story fifa doesn't want you to hear. none of these stories on "red eye" tonight. now let's welcome our guest. i'm here tonight with miss new york usa and favorite sleeping aid are his own tears, cries him
to sleep, andy levy. he is the guy with the hair and the car. the blaze's national security editor and coast of real news on the blaze tv. and only on three substances, one of them is love. so adorable. a writer for talking.com. >> what's that? >> i don't know. >> i'm starving. can i have one? >> yes, you can. and the new book or actually the old book out on paperback "the death of cool" available everywhere but not here. >> thank you. the fan may go on the lam. it is time for a "duck dynasty" update or duck-gate. live from red eye "duck dynasty qults news center, now here's
your host. >> thank you. wow. after the patriarch was suspended for comments about gays and blacks, what are you doing, gavin? >> fixing the laces on my shoe. >> oh, okay. anyway -- >> kind of private. >> continuing. the robertsons had this to say in a statement. while some of phil's unfiltered comments were coarse, his beliefs are grounded in the teachings of the bible and cannot imagine the show without our patriarch. why can't they say dad? we are in discussion to see what that means for the future of "duck dynasty." a&e said they'd replace wit a reality show based on these unlikely friends. >> pushl it across the floor. on your back. just come out and lay on your back with the dolphin. please take the fins off in only
six feet. >> i would watch the hell out of that. i don't know. gavin, this seems to be a -- it's like a ping-pong of judgment. you have gays on one side. you have christians on the other. and then you have us just watching it go back and forth. why where do you stand or it? >> i'm mortified. dits gusted. >> really? >> yes. this disgusting, horrible human being has implied that christianity calls homosexuality a sin. and he's saying that the bible has no ho no sexuality listed as a sin and if you're okay with that sin then you're okay with adultery and beastalty and other all the sins. where the hell does he get this from? >> you are being ironic? >> yeah. i was pretty proud of myself on that. >> i didn't pick up on that. >> i can hear myself talking in my own ear. i'll remove that. what is absurd about what he said? he said homosexuality is a sin
which in christianity it is. ergo, if you hand pick certain sins and say that's okay and that's not okay, then the bad sins are going to get in. . that's valid. i'm an alcoholic. i was born an alcoholic. god made me an alcoholic. exactly like a gay. >> what? exactly like a gay? >> exactly like a gay. >> really? >> it is a sin to be an alcoholic. it's sin to be a gay. >> okay. >> i was born that way and no intention of changing. >> that is -- >> happy to be an alcoholic. but i get that it's bad and after a night of drinking and i -- >> keep doing that. >> it's the same thing. look. drinking. drinking. all right. next day i wake up and i go, that was bad. i should have some, you know, fruit juice for a while. similarly, gays have too much fruit juice. >> oh please! you are an idiot. >> feel bad the next day.
it is a sin. born sinners and love our sin and it's -- he made it this clear. he said i love the sinner. i hate the sin. >> all right. >> this is same thing with alcohol alcoholic. >> i disagree with just about everything i could follow in that strange logic. it looks like it's fried gafb's brain. >> i think so, yeah. >> ironic because i'm drunk. that story -- it was alcohol. >> i can smell it on you. >> really? >> yes. >> me, too. the thing with this, we're taking what he's saying to heart but what i don't understand is what he has to do has nothing to do with gays or christianity. it is just his beliefs, like he goes after ducks, he's a self proclaimed redneck. do we expect any other belief system from him? >> no. >> there's so many people in the country who feel this way. he's a part of a brand now signing a contract, working for
a&e and paying him to do this. it's just like pageantry. you sign a contract. be mindful you have a broad audience and might offend people. >> i admire you that because you've kept your hateful, hateful beliefs inside in the pageant. >> i had another month left and then break loose. >> exactly. you'll become a racist, bigoted monster. buck, should they find another colorful family of louisiana duck call entrepreneurs. >> they have the dipatriarch of buck dynasty here. you don't take that seriously. >> you won't give me my due here. >> reich this? >> a great show. there could be ascots and yachts and bmws. it would be amazing. you don't even know. >> i don't want you to cry. >> back to the meat of the issue if you will. it's not a first amendment
issue. that's about the government coming after you. the government is not. >> there's no state action. >> it's private employers and private citizens. >> i strongly disagree. >> that's okay. the constitution frees you. >> no, no, no. this is different. this is a -- oppressed by the mafia. okay? we are oppressed by the velvet mafia. no, they don't kill us the way they do in palermo. they lose people's jobs. >> white men in the country just have a -- >> it doesn't mean we're wrong. i'll have vet mafia. >> wait a minute. >> why is everyone laughing at me? >> i like the name velvet mafia. sounds like a great dessert. >> i like buck dynasty. i assumed -- high fiving me bringing this up. >> i love the "duck dynasty" guys. >> wants people to lose their jobs criticize gays.
g.l.a.d. wants you to either apologize or lose your job. >> overreached. >> that's a minor example of what goes on in sicily with the mob. >> all right. >> mafia there is a much more serious example of the velvet mafia here. >> got it. >> they want you to get fired. >> all right. >> that's oppression and not freedom. i don't buy the argument of a free market that decided to sequester this guy. no. a tiny minority, a very loud minority has oppressed this guy despite the fact that 12 million viewers love him. >> it is not a government thing. we're getting -- >> let me get -- >> still oppression. >> gavin, i want you to be quiet for at least three minutes to let andy speak. >> look. >> try to hold your breath. >> the biggest issue, this is happened, over, done. the issue now is how do we stop it from happening again? hit me earlier today, it's possible that some other reality
tv stars might have objectionable views about things. >> yes! >> i think the only thing to do is we have to have all reality tv stars fill out a questionnaire before the series is launched so they don't hold views that might be objectionable in polite society. it's draconian and might mean the end of the reality tv. >> that is true. i do say there's selective outrage going on and -- going on and i don't know how many people really, really care. i'm going to keep talking. i don't know how many people really care. this is a -- this is a great conversation to have in the media because you've got two angry sides. and each side demands you take their side or you're wrong. >> also it's a huge show, though. >> by the way -- >> huge show. >> people that are talking about it don't watch it. i have every seen -- >> actually an awesome show, a huge show and i think there's a collision between sort of elite media and he's falling asleep
while i'm talking. >> no. >> actually passing out while i'm yelling. >> holding his breath. i told him to. >> i'm in a lot of pain. >> regardless. that's why it's also a big hole in the news cycle. everybody waiting to buy the -- >> the thing that really aggravates me about the story is people signing the petitions to get the show back on the air because his rights were taken away from him. he can't speak. how's that okay? these people who are rallying to get this redneck back on tv and not fighting for other injustices in the world, that's what's terrible. >> the thing is, though -- >> it's not terrible. >> yeah. >> some rednecks. >> what about 60% of americans agree with. homosexuality is sin. i gave you a spin it, people are alcoholics. that's a sin. you can digest it easier but the fact is it's a hate fact. and the majority of christians believe homosexuality to be a sin. >> that's true.
>> 75% americans christians. >> fornication is a sin, to. >> yes! >> that's -- >> that's what robertson said. >> adultery is a sin. >> who hasn't coveted their neighbor's wife? i'm doing it right now. >> 45% in the latest poll. >> i haven't coveted my neighbor's wife. >> many people's heads you have coveted another woman. i believe we're going to move on. this is an interesting topic. >> i promise. >> what are you talking about? >> latest pew showed 45% of americans believe homosexuality is a sin. >> the poll is based on smells and entering a pew -- >> it's called pew. >> i get it. >> it's church doctrine. scripture style. they flipped the wigs over electric cigs. banning electric cigarettes
indoor. they said that the ban is needed to avoid confusion. quote, because many of the e-cigarettes look like cigarettes and used just like them. morons. meanwhile, a note of a new study of 76,000 women concluded that exposure to secondhand smoke did not increase risk for lung cancer or as one expert said we have smoking out of bars and restaurants on the basis that you and i and other nonsmokers don't want the die. the reality is, we probably won't. do dogs know the dangers of eating cupcakes? >> what? >> not what you planned. >> they're tough. those dogs are tough. i've done that before. you work out a bar. >> people smoke these. >> i smoke them.
nothing comes out. >> flavored ones can smell. >> yes. >> and i remember the first time i saw someone smoking it at the bar, i really didn't know what it was. when it first came out and popular and you're a tool. like, that's how i feel. if you stay there -- >> calling may tool. >> where are your manners? sitting here talking to the friend at the bar and like really? >> so what? >> what's wrong with it? >> that's an emotional response. >> offends me the smell and seeing it as a guest trying to dine next to you and going on? >> i see how it's -- >> it's water vapor. >> i have never smelled somebody else's e-cig. >> maybe it wasn't an e-cig. >> maybe not. >> could have been a vapor vehicle which is something else in it. >> yes. >> buck, what do you think? do you think people hate the actual smoking or just the idea that somebody is smoking and having fun? >> yeah. like love the person, hate the
vapor? >> yes. >> moving from the word police to the vapor police and pretty disturbing. maybe it smells like the -- you into go into the bars and the -- that's true. you can have an orange and mango and pomegranate and not as bothersome as choking on somebody's puff in your face. i don't want a cigarette smoke in my face. this doesn't bother me. there's water vapor in the air all the time. >> boil tea! boil tea! >> that's what humidity is. check that out. science knowledge. >> there you go. science knowledge. that was kind of redundant. gavin, the ban is insanity and but so where's this -- it's the logic of the law is flawed. it's saying that the law has to be created for people not to become confused. so the law is based on people's feelings. >> the sub text is what's going on is smoking is bad and i want to stop you from smoking and
pretend -- >> yeah. >> -- that your e-cigarette is somehow damaging your neighbor but i'm about being a helicopter parent and telling you to stop smoking and then they can use that data and go, look, a lot of people stopped smoking so we saved millions of lives. >> right. >> stupid law. >> yeah. >> but we have learned with socialism and communism when you have the greater good as an agenda you do more harm than good. you tangle a wangled weeb. >> i believe that, though. >> tangled a wangled -- >> i'm kind of serious. second hand smoke, where the mothers -- christopher hutchens said where are the mothers with signs outside going, my son died from all of your secondhand smoke? i never saw any.
thirdhand smoke. illegal in certain states the smoke at home. >> i know. >> illegal to smoke in your car. >> yeah. thirdhand smoke -- what? >> all "red eye" fans are smokers. >> my bad. >> yeah. >> you want to get back on the show, defend smoking. >> andy, yeah, you are an e-cig smoker and i am. the law is against us because the cigarettes look like real cigarettes. that's almost like saying men can no longer cross dress because somebody might mistake you for a woman and nobody would go for that. >> well, interesting -- >> i won't go for that. >> i don't care about the e-cig stuff. don't take away the dresses. gavin pointing out the ban, secondhand smoke stuff, none of this was ever about health but a class of people that get off on controlling other people and it's honestly it's a sickness. i believe it's a mental illness. >> should it be curtailed?
>> lock it up. like that does anything. seems cooler to young kids. >> electronic cigarettes. >> they have a need to control other people except that they succeed in getting the laws pass to control my life. so i don't feel sorry for them. i want them out of the country. i don't care if they want to leave the country or if they have to be forced to leave. i want them gone. >> i want to see how far i can take this. >> where are they taken? >> i don't care. >> perhaps to the bottom of the ocean in a box? fie that's tragically to accidentally happen, so be it. >> i just wanted to -- >> the culture of smoking, the guys with the girlfriends at the bar, can't like go outside and chat about like how annoying they are or the issue. outside having the cigarette break. you can smoke it right there. why are you going away in what do you need to do? what are you talking about? >> you do that really well. >> thanks. >> that made me very uncomfortable. small business owners and people
that live near bars should be happy about this. more fights from people smoking in front of bars. smokers tend to block the sidewalks. that causes problems and bartenders and waiters see less tips since smoking went down and people spending less time at the bar and more time outside. >> fewer -- there's a five studies that showed 90% of smokers get pneumonia from smoking in the cold. >> really? >> no. it sounds -- the science on that is just as good as the science of new york city counsel. >> how about a -- >> getting cold doesn't give you a cold. >> the smell of cigarettes in clothe original the house? >> traces of the thing on drapes. >> exactly. >> a baby might eat it, touch that and die of aids. >> here's -- in the modern world of opinions, the person -- if you want the find the amateur, a person that seeks a ban of something they don't like. that's the first -- that's a rule that whenever you go in
life, somebody says, like, say a young actress from "the hunger games" said i think calling people fat should be banned or this should be banned, first level of thinking. >> don't you ban words all the time? >> i know. because i am an amateur. >> we want to ban the word like, for example. but we can't. makes us suffer but the other people think they can do it. >> that's a good point. i never think i can ban anything and maybe that's why i do it to satisfy an irrational need to control people. >> ban the words i don't like. you know what i mean? it's like -- ugh! i want to change the way people talk. ugh. >> i like that. where does that come from? >> i don't know. it's like -- like -- it's like -- >> yeah. >> like -- >> i want to ban it.
it is amazing. coming up -- >> coming up, we have more stories. >> it's like. hat you say. around here you don't make excuses. hat you say. you make commitments. and when you can't live up to them, you own up, and make it right. so people think the kind of accountability has gone missing in e placesets where it's needemost. but i know you'll still find it when you know where to look. [ male announcer ] if we could see energy... what would we see? ♪ the billions of gallons of fuel that get us to work. ♪
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does porn the ability to charm? in britain wherever that is schoolboys given lessons how to talk to girls due to the fear that smut left them feeble in the company of females. male teachers will advise the lads on life skills how to ask a girl out, save money, treat women well and knife a turtle. the program is into kids lacking a positive role model. quote, young men have a skewed view of a relationship because of the easy access to
pornography. speaking of helping others -- >> that was wonderful. that was fantastic. that made me happy all over again. okay. you're the woman here. andy notwithstanding because the treatments haven't kicked in. have you noticed men becoming different over the last -- i know single girl that is do the show an there are friends of my wife saying men in new york are weird. they seem like they're aloof or uninterested or jaded and i think it's porn. i don't know. >> that's probably one of -- >> i gave you your opinion. >> i don't need to talk. >> yeah. >> yes. porn, i guess, media or other things that they're being bombarded with. i think really rather than the teacher having these meetings and a club you need an italian mother.
>> that's true. >> the guys that dated that come from italian homes, they open doors, they pay for dinner. >> they live at home. >> what kind of guys do you date, exactly? >> don't they stay at home until 35 playing video games? >> then they have money. >> from what, deejaying? >> yes! lots of them do. >> deejay pauly making $12 million a year. >> it's the idea of manners and chivalry and i think a lot of that is gone because they really don't have the role models. i don't know that teachers are the best. the line of being a friend is blurred. >> do you think the teacher is doing that to hang out with them. >> this is the porn you shouldn't watch. >> no. yeah, yeah, yeah. some porn i made myself and how disgusting it is. that's me with six men i found in the park. gavin, all right -- >> homeless porn? >> your past is disgusting.
how you live a traditional life. >> sure. >> how did that happen? >> ran out of options. >> okay. >> simply stopped kicking down the door. so i went back to the most pretty girl i had been with and said will you marry me and did pretty well. >> romantic. >> it is. >> thank you. >> she doesn't watch "red eye" so we're good. >> here's my theory on this. not about -- may not be about pornography. there are no dads. could that be it? >> well, again, we have this nanny state trying to fix the mistakes and promoted single motherhood until it seemed like a cool thing. this is not working. men have no -- anymore. we expelled a kid for sexual a harassment for pinching another 4-year-old girl's ass and going i'm too sexy for my body. what? i don't know what i'm saying. you're expelled.
we have to get the boys back in here and teach them how to get laid. >> okay. >> if you really cared about kids getting laid and boys, you would tell them only two things you need to know. >> oh gosh. >> one, get a bag of coke. two, learn to play bass. >> see, i would disagree. it is drums. andy? >> yeah. >> mace and coke. >> either bass or drums but i feel more bands need a bassist than drums. >> we all agree i guess on the coke. talking koobt ka cola. andy? >> maybe i'm wrong here, gach. i don't think the study about helping get boys laid but the opposite. >> unlaid? >> teaching them how to deal with women without constantly being about getting laid. >> hearts and dungeons and dragons. >> that's easy. i don't like the study. it's the -- i've spoken at
length about this before in lectures. it is the society. >> right. >> what about the boys need to talk how to other boys and jebder identity isn't binary. i'm sorry. hello. >> yes. >> this is -- i don't like it. >> let's get buck in here. you're a legendary shagging wagon and saw -- >> buck sexton and i have a lot to offer. >> is this necessary? a consequence of a society going to hell? >> if you take real instructions from the pornography and think showing up with a pizza asking who ordered the extra cheese, i don't think a teacher can help you. >> there's no scene in pornography in 30 years. >> that's 1980 porn. >> maybe i like 1980 -- >> i like how deeply offended you are. >> come on. >> the classics. >> upgrade. >> there's a serious with married men and the wife has the
baby an takes six months off. you spend a lot of time with pornography and thinking that's the norm and then when she is ready, you have a full body fish net costume on. not on but ready. and then -- >> well. >> stilettos and go would you be willing to -- what are you doing? i just had a child. i don't want to wear a full body fishnetd a fishnet and you have to sort of -- >> porn can be detrimental coming to expectations. >> thank you, professor mcguiness. >> all right! that's a good idea for a show. coming up, the c block is upon soed by dark matter, that material thought to exist in space and could take any forms. thanks, dark matter. >> you're welcome. next, alligators, crocodiles, do they use tools to hunt? sure, why not. seems plausible. we'll discuss wit the frightened
correspondent who's here and terrified. hoo-hoo hoo. sir... i'll get it together i promise... heeheehee. jimmy: ronny, how happy are folks who save hundreds of dollars switching to geico? ronny:i'd say happier than the pillsbury doughboy on his way to a baking convention. get happy. get geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more. and our giant idaho potato truck is still missing. so my dog and i we're going to go find it. it's out there somewhere spreading the good word about idaho potatoes and raising money for meals on wheels. but we'd really like our truck back, so if you see it, let us know, would you? thanks. what?
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♪ and if was a tree growing tall and green ♪ ♪ all i'd want is you to shade me and be my leaves ♪ grown in america. picked & packed at the peak of ripeness. the same essential nutrients as fresh. del monte. bursting with life™. at any mfraud could meantrients blower credit scores. and higher interest rates when you apply for a credit card. it's a problem waiting to happen. check your credit score, check your credit report at experian.com. stop it! all right. he was making very crude faces. being sated overrated? a new study out of new zealand says it's better to be right than happy. a husband agreed with everything
to his wife. over the course of the experiment, the hubby unhappy while his companion was slightly more content. bottom line, new zealand is weird and being right makes you happier and agreeing makes you miserable. i guess i have no choice but to go to you, gavin. you are the only other married person here. so all right. i would rather be happy than right because if you're going to be right all the time you're single. >> this study's wrong. >> yeah? >> this is a stupid study. i mean, it was ridiculous study i've ever read. we did our little research and we know everything. they're wrong. very wrong. >> you okay? >> i'm fine. very happy. i don't know who does these things but, no.
that is not what happened and they're very, very, very wrong. >> oh my god. i don't know what to ask you that the point. >> i have some ideas. so i think that -- let's get this back on track. men get the happiness of being right. i think it's a pride thing. >> but if -- they will be miserable if the woman feels to be wrong so think'd rather have her be right. >> we just want to be heard. that's where our happiness -- >> you are lying. you are lying. >> i'm married! >> we want people to listen. thinking we're supposed to be right and then the really smart women make the men think that they're right. >> that was a lot of dead air. silence. you can't do that on a television show. >> the panel.
>> talking, thinking. >> oh my. agree to disagree i guess. >> buck, you said in the green room -- >> will you shut up? buck, you said that the happiness to life is a shagging wagon. then you walked out. >> it's a home. it's a boudoir. all of the above. wood panels. you can paint some flames on there. you can take them off. whatever you want. hydraulics. shagging wagon hash tag. that's right. >> did he? >> hash tag it on the end. >> you have to do it -- >> it's before, obviously. shagging wagon, bam. >> not after. >> good lord. >> andy, why are we talking -- >> this is not a study. one couple. >> i know. >> i'll go a step further. not meant to be taken seriously. that is joke. this is what the authors say.
quote, the study has some limitations. no trial registration, no approval, no informed consent, no randomization and questionable statistical assessment. >> wasn't a study actually. >> and then there's this. this chart shows how the male's quality of life diminished. that's a serious study. sad faces on it. that's the chart from the study. >> used skittles. >> that is not a study. >> was this the british medical journal? >> yes. the hall say issue. somebody should have said it's nothing but jokes. they actually kind of do research and they kind of don't. all right. now i'm afraid of the next study. will mataking a flight make you feel all right? traveling the boost. the stud deshows that women that vacation at least twice a year have a lower risk of a heart
attack than men have a 20% higher risk of something we like to call death. you probably travel a lot for your pageants. yet you're a wreck. >> well, here's the thing, though. i actually -- i take daily trips to spain, italy and napa in the form of a red or a white. i take mental vacations because i can't afford actual trips now that my reign is almost over. okay? i mean, of course it makes sense. you're happier, healthier because you're not as stressed away from work on vacation. right? >> see, i disagree. i have to say, buck, the traveling is something you do to waste time until you die. >> no. it is something you do to impress your friends on facebook just when you get to the top of macu picu but you had the burrito and now spending the holiday in a toilet in the -- you know, the inn in northern
colombia. not fun. that's not where it is but i'm just saying. >> sounds like a personal experience. >> it's something of a point of pride for cia guys. we don't talk -- formally, of course. you talk about which place sucks the most. that place is terrible. i hated that place because there's a lot of them out there. travel is a biggest ruse. like people that like museums. liars, liars. >> like when you -- you think of the ugly chicks. >> yeah. exactly, gavin. >> what just happened? >> thank goodness i'm not ugly. >> you will not be remembered. >> will be a wonderful night but we will move on. gavin! >> oh god. >> answer the question that's in your head. >> i actually think tomatoes.
super duper serious. >> yes? >> that this traveling is the bane of the west's existence. >> here we go. >> are you ready for this? >> please. >> so we have these guy that is go around with a huge -- fat checkbook and like joe -- anybody from joe to pinch -- >> yeah. >> "the new york times" guy. >> yeah. >> go to somalia and have a fancy little dinner and go to barcelona. we had tappas. it was wonderful. they get in their head that multiculturalism is wonderful because it's delicious meals. >> and staying at the four seasons. >> so they come back to america and they go, diversity is our strength because you have no idea how many wonderful desserts we can have so then we end up with our neighbor doing female scircumcision on her 8-year-old daughter. >> i was going to jump in. no way.
>> the pinch of the world said i don't know when i was there it was fun. >> i know what you do. your point is most people don't see the ugly side of the culture. >> they do a dip into the best they have to offer and why every pro diversity person always mentions restaurants. that's what they did on vacation. >> last word? >> yes. study shows that traveling is good for you, that was when the study sponsored by travel boards. next. >> all right. we got to take a break. more stuff when we come back. by the way, my new book, "not cool" march preorder it. ♪
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super volcano is larger than thought stretching more than 55 miles. scientists say that the potential to erupt with a force 2,000 times the size of the 1980 eruption of mt. st. helens. no one is more afraid of what it means for the world than frightened correspondent joe mackey. could this erupt at any snoemt. >> well, the only good news is that scientists think we could have a few years of warning before the volcano erupts. bad news is they think it could kill every human and probably killed in the mass panic before the volcano finishes the job. >> that is depressing. why is it take so long to figure it snout. >> i don't know. you would think it's high on the list of things to study but we know less about super volcanos than regular volcanos. that's backwards. >> it is. how far should we expect the
eruption to hit? >> we are not safe in new york. it could get us here. >> really? >> yep. all around the world. global killer. >> yes. fairly definitive on this one. should we evacuate? >> i don't know where we'd go. my advice is get an abandoned missile silo and reemerge after nuclear winter and your bet to be evil. >> that's true. it's so true. i'm with you on that. next story. a man in ghana was reportedly bit on the penis by a large snake on a public toy lit and almost collapsed and saw that it was going to bite him. using public toilets scary enough and now penis-biting snakes? >> i don't use them anymore. germs, makes and people knocking on the door, i hate that, i just don't go near them. >> that is it. the worst thing is people knocking on the door. >> i can't concentrate.
>> still. i always hate it when the door is locked and they jiggle it. >> i know. it's -- how many doors have you had where you can't open? i don't know what people are thinking. >> yeah. do you have any tips on how to prevent an attack? >> well, i would say only go to disgusting bathrooms. snakes abandon new york city bathrooms back in the '70s. they won't go near them. >> really. should we just go 0 the bathroom in the woods? >> you've had no survival training at all because you're heading out of snake country into bear country. that's worse. >> all right. well, okay, next story "consumer reports" say half of all chicken breasts have a bacteria super bug. eating chicken, like a 50/50 chance of death? >> pretty much. we have multiple drug resistant bacteria, extensive resistantba resistant bacteria.
we are running out of antibiotics as far as we run out of adjectives. pretty bad. >> could it be a sfoir get us to eat more beef? >> could be or a strange new marketing come pain by peta which i don't like with no naked actresses. i prefer the old campaign. >> really quick. alligators are now using small sticks as sticks to attract birds looking for nesting materials. that's weird. using tools. >> terrifying. that's why i say when people ask about gun control, i say ask me after there are no more alligators. get rid of them. >> i'm going to steal that line. last question. if you see an alligator with a stick or you see a stick, should you assume there's an alligator holding it? >> unless it's a saltwater body of water. assume there's an alligator under there. that's why i say let's bomb the
everglades with -- take them out before they get us. >> i like the way you think, joe. have a calm weekend. >> you the same. great holiday. >> yes. what will you be doing at kris snas. >> hunkered down with the fam in an undisclosed location. >> that's nice. good. enjoy yourself. all right. you have a comment on the show? e-mail us. got a video of your animal doing something? click on submit a video. we might use it. coming up, a strange proposal. i'm overhe hill.
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warrants. they spotted him in a local park and told him to put his hands behind his back. he explained he was about to pop the question and asked if he could finish the proposal and the officer agreed. when the girlfriend said yes, justin skz the officer to give it to her. the girlfriend's fiance said everyone thinks he is a bad guy, but he's not. >> we are best friends. >> he completes you? >> yes and i complete him. he's my rock and i'm his rock. >> this is so romantic. >> would you have said yes? >> no. >> but you are not a one. it's terrible. >> stop it. he's a monster. >> you would give it a two. >> you are a negative 7. >> enough out of your hairy mouth. >> he's your rock and i'm his rock. she will have to give up the rock for bail money to get him out.
i think it's funny. she eventually said yes. it's the shock or liberating. i hope they are very happy together. >> it's a great story to tell their many children. >> i want whoever interviewed her to go to jail. he completes you? shut up. are you kidding me? >> i love that. where is that from? >> just because you made it up. >> for her to say and not the anchors. >> she was looking for the quote. that's what i'm saying. i wrote this joke. what's the difference between a wedding proposal and an arrest. nothing. >> people are happier when they are not satisfied. he's in jail and now he's engaged. isn't that like being in two prisons? >> i will say this.
apparently the police will let you finish a proposal, but they won't let you finish anything with your girlfriend like an ice cream cone you may have in your hand. >> interesting. >> all right. how much time do we have? >> ask me. >> i am thinking of avoiding you. >> what do you want to say? >> what a great thing. what do you want to say? gilbert godfrey is being run over by a steam roller. what do you want to say? >> i will tell you. quickly. >> i have a lot of friends who will get the ring and hold it in their pocket for months and months. they will visit nepal and be on mountain tops and at their mother's house and at some castle where the great grandfather got raped. >> bust it out, dude.
they never knew and they finally proposed where you can see his butt crack. will you marry me? wasted. the moral of the story -- so my dog and i we're going to go find it. it's out there somewhere spreading the good word about idaho potatoes and raising money for meals on wheels. but we'd really like our truck back, so if you see it, let us know, would you? thanks. what?
i like ducks. i don't know why. i just like them. i like the way they waddle. i like the way they quack. i like the way they hang out with their kids. and sister euphemia would have been proud how they walk in a straight line behind their mother superior. what i want to know is, where are the animal rights activists in the latest "duck dynasty" debacle. >> never been so humiliated in all my life! look, mack. just what's going on around here?