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tv   Gutfeld  FOX News  May 5, 2021 8:00pm-9:00pm PDT

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that puts themselves or guests in danger. you have to be seated to enjoy the restaurant. >> laura: that's going to be a thrilling wedding to attend. >> i get people all the time, what are you talking about. talking about trump. because of what's happening in the republican party and trump is a big part of it. it affects all of us. >> he's more powerful now than obi one i think he's more sinister than the wizard of oz? but does he have power? . >> i guess that makes youtube the lollipop guild.
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[cheers and applause] >> greg: so while our media class obsesses over who is and isn't wearing a mask there is something slightly more urgent going on. the tension in kat's one-week-old marriage. she's not here. anyway, nope, it's something called murder. even if you pull that mask up to cover your eyes it's not going to go away. i get it. the media only cares about crime when it fits their narrative like white racist cop. but if they expect to get this country back to normal, my definition of normal, not don's, we need to address the elephants in the room. even a liberal news site admits this. the title of their piece, it's set to be a hot, violent summer. they report in a sample of 37 cities over the first three months of 2021, an analysis found hurts soared 80% over last
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year and last year's homicides were already up 33%. you can do the math. these are great numbers if they are coming from your financial adviser at schwab. also, at least 66 of the largest police jurisdictions saw an increase in violent crimes. where people prey on our streets on innocent victims. we need to abolish the people tasked with stopping it. get being shot doesn't moon your second moderna vaccine. the anti-police sentiment made it worse. why would cops go to any dangerous call if they know there is a chance they could end up on lebron james's twitter feed. is this the result of white supremacist or even some angry white males? let's ask an angry white male.
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>> these people who don't to defund the police, i don't get it. then what are we going to do? fight crime all by ourselves? i don't think so. i like the police protecting us. then i can go back to doing what i like to do. painting bananas. [applause] >> greg: normative bigot, it's weird how liberals react when you discuss crime. they deny the data. some will even laugh when you cite the stats. worse, they act like this is an
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inevitable act of nature like the seasons changing or the plunge in cnn's ratings. if only the media could blame the crime on trump they might actually want to do something about it. >> you're watching atn, all trump news because everybody else is boring by comparison. >> hi -- has the night off. yes, it can also be a man's name. top story. released without bail after being charged with multiple ate crimes for violently smashing synagogue windows. four windows to be exact. all attacked with rocks. still the suspect was released prompting many to say it's time to change bail reform laws. we agree. fix the bail so donald trump goes to jail. >> get that monster off the street. sure, he hasn't smashed synagogue windows but he smashed our dreams and you just know if trump hadn't been president this man from the bronx wouldn't have had -- like i do. i get it. i know the feeling.
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i get angry just thinking about trump. that helps. meanwhile, a pennsylvania man was charged with cruelty to animals after police say he shot and cooked his dog. if it were trump he probably would have served it well done with disgusting ketchup. as you know trump is only one of three presidents who didn't have a white house pet so it's clear he incited this horrific crime. he's the one that should be charged, not the pennsylvania guy. he was only reacting to trump's dog whistle. finally, mother's day is this weekend. i would call my mom and wish her a happy mother's day but she voted for trump twice. yes, i know. she brought me into this world, took care of me. fed me. paid for my education. she's really a lovely kind hearted person but none of that matters. she's a trump-loving monster and i hate her with every fiber of my being. for atn, i'm mica mitchell.
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[applause] >> greg: my favorite mica. why don't the democrats care about their dying cities? the same bad ideas that have governed the cities for decades and they care too much about holding power over the neighborhoods even as the victims pile up. how does the media deal with this when they finally realize the truth is inescapable. they manipulate language. they call it gun violence, like the gun got up and shot the victim. or they will call a crime a public health crisis as a way of removing culpability. it's like an allergy. it's that time of the season. you sneeze but i break windows and steal watches. look, we agree that when people get murdered that impacts their health but treating it like an outbreak of her peace ain't going to help anyone. believe me, at least axios
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admits pulling back policing due to the drum beat of activists likely contributed to more murders and few of them ever being solved. most of the victims are black, and ignoring that is as yellow as the crime tape at a murder scene. by focusing on one attention-grabbing issue, bad cops, at the expense of a bigger, more destructive problem, a massive crime wave, you're partly to blame. it would be like a dentist telling someone to floss the four teeth he has left. out of a thousand people shot dead by cops in 2019 nine were unarmed blacks but if you watch the news you would think that number was in the hundreds or thousands or hundreds of thousands. the press calls it an epidemic. if that's an epidemic what do you call the 7,400 black homicide victims in the year prior in which 91% were killed by other black males. don't those lives matter, too, even if they never get tweeted by lebron james? isn't that the crime that draws police into the neighborhoods where out of millions
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interactions you end up with a chauvin. look, there are some bad cops but focusing only on race and police is not going to make our cities safe again or even functional. and glorifying riots in an attempt to make cops look like rejects from police academy five will result in fewer good cops and it's most damaging to the people it claims to help. but maybe that's the point. no more arrests, no more bail, no more cities, all you have left is empty block after block. if you're into real estate it's a perfect time to buy. just don't walk alone at night and be sure to invest in kevlar. [applause] >> greg: welcome tonight's guests. she's so bright we should all be wearing sunscreen, host of the -- show on youtube. she's fooled more lefties than the yankees pitching coach. screen writer -- he knows swiss.
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comedian joe devito. and she's a cheering raider turned legal crusader, co-host emily -- [applause] all right. is it loren or lauren? >> lauren. >> greg: thank you. you're a canadian. do you have crime there? >> we have crime. it's polite enough only to happen in montreal and toronto. but yes, we do. it seems to be growing by the day unfortunately. it's almost like banning guns, when they have been for a long time in places like toronto especially for self-defense reasons, it doesn't really against criminals that they shouldn't shoot people. >> greg: what do you make of what's happening in the united states when you see what's going on? we're seeing a rise in weird crime. like, just like aimless dudes beaten up people on the street, and the problem is, with the media, if the suspects don't
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meet a certain criteria it doesn't end up on their radar. >> it's scary especially being in a large city right now in new york, you have all of these reports about anti-asian hate crimes, but, i mean, those stories have dropped off since apparently, they weren't really white attackers and it's a little bit harder to blame it on white supremacy. it's not impossible as we've seen some people trial. i've heard, even if the attackers themselves aren't white it's actually still donald trump's fault because they were emboldened by his messaging. we know if there is a one group that's a huge fan of donald trump it's black males in inner cities. they look to him as a fault leader. >> greg: it's the white supremacists that are driving the nonwhite suspects to attack asians. then you've covered every base. g.g., i like your name. >> thank you. >> greg: you're down in santa monica. i have a feeling you're experiencing the same thing but
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are you allowed to actually talk about it? >> not -- well, if you're wearing a mask. especially if you're outside in 75 degree weather wearing a mask, you can talk about it. if you're not wearing a mask, no one will talk to you. >> greg: but with the criminals -- they may not take your wallet if there is a chance of getting covid? >> that's true. also, we need to be vegan in order for them to talk to us. [laughter] it gets confusing. >> greg: you have intersectional criminals? >> yes, we do. we're very proud of that. >> greg: when they come to mug you first they tell you what your identity is. >> and the pronoun. >> greg: if you use the wrong pronoun they don't want your belongings. >> they want nothing. i know. they are very picky. >> greg: but they are also polite. i kind of like that about them. emily, what are you, a defense attorney? >> there are so many things i was expecting to come out of
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your mouth. yes, yes. that's what i was. >> greg: you are -- you're looking at this from somebody who defends criminals. what do you make of this? are you saddened by it? what do we do? >> i represented the government, too. as i federal attorney for a long time so i feel like, from those two angles, i actually see this from a local perspective which is how differently all the cities are treating this. for example, in l.a., after they defunded the majority of their police budget a year later after the spike in homicides that you referenced earlier, oh, just kidding, sigh of relief, and then portland was like, oh, no, not only are we going to strip the police of their budget but we're going to unanimously decline the mayor's pleading to put $2 million toward it and the city council said we'll let you put some money back but only to park rangers. so meanwhile -- >> greg: it's the bears. >> literally there were two park rangers running from a guy with a knife attacking them and they
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had to call 911 to get saved. and then in seattle after they defunded the police, the judge there, they get into the consent decrease so all the reform everyone is talking about, seattle was going on that, right, they unanimously, again, city council, decides to defund the police. the judge says, what are you doing? you just set us all back three steps. you can't just gut the budget. so for everyone clamoring for this to be the result or conclusion like it actually helps them all over the country you're seeing exactly why it doesn't. the crimes are speaking. the judge is saying this is not how to clean up the cities. this is not the way for meaningful reform. if anything, that was the only reason, sorry, i might be moving to l.a. soon. >> i'm moving out. >> greg: you can have a house. >> nice little crime swap. a little crime swap. that's an interesting story. instead of wife swap, you crime swap. you move into an area and see who gets mugged first.
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>> i don't like that. >> greg: i don't like that either actually. i like the fact that we just all assume it will go away once the pandemic is over. everybody will be outside and all the criminals will go, you know what? now that the pandemic stopped i'll go back to my other job of not committing crime. >> you know, i don't know if the criminals have heard this, committing crime is actually against the law. >> not at the moment. >> it's nice to hear them say it's going to be a hot, violent summer. i was hoping for a hot girl summer. but it's funny, white supremacists are having a hell of a diversity drive, aren't they? kudos to them. i always laugh when i hear that, when people talk about white privilege and white supremacy and i'm like, that sucks, and they look at me, oh, you're including me in that? i'm from an italian american family. we've only been white since godfather three. so i don't want to hear that. >> greg: so true.
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>> greg: they are keeping him at bay, so he did it his way. after months of being banned from social media platforms president trump has launched his own communications platform. it's called [ bleep ] twitter. i wish -- it's actually, it's called from the desk of donald j. trump. one of his first posts was an epic trailer. >> -- those who supported him in the senate. >> twitter permanently banning the commander-in-chief's
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personal account with 88 million followers. >> greg: i hope every time he sends something out the music comes with it. the site allows followers to share trump's post to twitter and facebook for now which is ironic since wednesday's facebook oversight board upheld trump's ban from facebook and instagram. i think we have a picture of the oversight board. [laughter] >> greg: i never thought i would get to use that picture. the board said it was not appropriate to impose a penalty of an indefinite suspension and gave facebook six months to review the ban meaning they will keep bringing him in like they
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did on shaw shank. >> trump won't be unsuspended no matter what and they took a shot at facebook for using an oversight board to make the decision. >> how are you guys thinking about him on on --- -- on twitter. >> we don't have an oversight board like that our team is account building for the decisions that we make. >> greg: that will leave a mark. nothing like good nerd on nerd violence. meanwhile this week on twitter, an anti-semitic account had ann frank trending and facebook still hosts a page for thenase -- the nation of islam. g.g., where do you see this
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going? should we break up these social media platforms? are they do big? >> they are too big and they are too dumb. so maybe we can't do it. maybe they are just like big offensive linemen and there is nothing that can be done with them. i don't know. >> i'm glad pirates aren't here. >> but it's like revenge of the nerds. the sequel. this world is being dominated by men in fleece vests. >> greg: has the end of the world. all people in davos. they had their little logo. fleece vest, emily. you would never hang around something in a fleece vest. >> that's all of seattle literally. what killed me, about that guy, ned, at twitter, twitter was the one, the ones, who humanly
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decided to trend the #uncletim that happened after senator scott gave the gop rebuttal. that was a disgusting display of elevate a racial slur and they were batting themselves on the bat, and now facebook is all of a sudden holier than thou. >> i'm going to take it to this board, i created it, and we abide by the decision. i can't wait until legislation steps up to free us all from being chained to them because the free market and the way it stands right now is only operating so much. behind the scenes we are still tethered to these guys because there is so much behind the scenes that they still own and still control so we don't really have that freedom of choice. even myself, i told myself, i'm never on facebook, i'm so above it. i'm on instagram and that's
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facebook. >> greg: we need to talk about your instagram posts. they are a little bit terrible. joe, you're a shut-in, so you rely on social media. is it the only idea saying this is not a free speech issue because it's not like you're going to go out and start a twitter in your backyard? >> they used to stay if you don't like it start your own and they tried to do parlor and they wouldn't host on the server. the fleece vest doesn't show the you were arm development. i have to be honest. i thought it was a little anticlimactic because you see the space shot and i thought we would see him in a spacesuit. he announces, oh, he has a blog. they always say conservatives want to take us back to the 1950s. he took us back to about 2005. i think he should buy my space.
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our passwords are somewhere. they will go to our old aol accounts. >> the infrastructure is there. >> and tom is still available. >> greg: nobody remembers tom. tom was in the little my space -- why am i wasting time on this. in canada, you do have twitter. >> we do. >> greg: do you miss trump not being on twitter. >> politics is so boring. everybody freaking out about him all the time and we've seen platforms like parler launch, and they are sort of boring. the leftists won't be able to keep themselves away. they will be so attracted to it. i want us all fighting again. >> greg: one thing that i
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believe would save twitter is getting rid of trends. can you imagine what would happen to people if they went on twitter and didn't know what was trending. they would have to read the feed and make up their minds. >> i need jack to tell me what to be mad about it. >> greg: exactly. all right. up next, the democrats are gathering for a campaign of facts. ...i felt i couldn't be at my... for my family. in only 8 weeks with mavyret... ...i was cured. i faced reminders of my hep c every day. i worried about my hep c. but in only 8 weeks with mavyret... ...i was cured. mavyret is the only 8-week cure for all types of hep c. before starting mavyret your doctor will test... ...if you've had hepatitis b which may flare up and cause serious liver problems during and after treatment. tell your doctor if you've had hepatitis b, a liver or kidney transplant,... ...other liver problems, hiv-1, or other medical conditions,... ...and all medicines you take. don't take mavyret with atazanavir... ...or rifampin, or if you've had certain liver problems. if you've had or have serious liver problems other than hep c, there's a rare chance they may worsen.
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the first survivor of alzheimer's disease is out there. and the alzheimer's association is going to make it happen. but we won't get there without you. join the fight with the alzheimer's association. >> greg: they are gathering dirt to hit them where it hurts. the 2024 presidential election is more than 1,200 days away and democrats are researching who might run against kamala harris. a lot can happen in 1,200 days, or in 20 days, or days with a strong gust of wind. politico reports that the dnc is putting together opposition research for more than 20 republican challengers for the presidential nomination ranging from former president donald
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trump to the pillow guy mike lindell. good luck getting dirt on that trump guy. he keeps a low profile. others including mike pompeo,ed cruz of texas and rick scott of florida and even some guy named tucker carlson. which sounds lick -- like a fake name. so the list includes people who watch tucker carlson. the goal of opposition research is to uncover information to publicly discredit your opponent. for example, here is what we gathered on shannon bream. last month she helped to pay for the education of nine orphans. not 10. that's going to come back to haunt her. also, on the weekend she participated in a food drive.
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makes you wonder what she's hiding when she pulls that kind of stunt. she donates blood regularly but how do we really know it's her blood? do you? do any of us? ♪ [laughter] >> greg: yep. makes you think, doesn't it. we're just raising questions here on gutfeld!. >> greg: you didn't like that, emily? that upset you, didn't it? but, you know what? we don't know what she does after work. is there any opposition research you would like to look at? >> no. also, in part, i feel like, i don't know, that list is so extensive, and i feel like with, for example, mike lindell, who we all love, i mean, he's
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already written a book. we know what's in his past. >> greg: he's a former crack addict. what are they going to find? hunter biden can tell you. nothing is worse than being a crack head and hunter biden goes, oh, yeah? i knocked off a stripper while dating my late brother's widow and then had an affair with my sister-in-law. >> he's a busy man. >> greg: he is a busy man oh, my god. i'm sorry what were you saying? >> i got derailed. >> greg: anyway. >> so i think what's interesting about this, it just displays a level of panic that's coming out of the dnc. it seems like we're not the own ones who see what their policies are doing and how much it's repelling more than half of the united states. let them keep digging their grave because no amount of opposition research is going to help them in 2022.
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people are done. >> greg: do you agree with that? i never am optimistic about anything, i could just see america completely tuning out. new york is great example. no republicans vote in new york anymore. we just get stuck with deblasio. >> based on the past two years i feel like blatant pessimism but the problem with all this opposition research we're so divided that a lot of things that the left will think, a gotcha moment. look at tucker carlson. carlson wants to discuss the ways voting affects immigration trends. ron desantis feels like you shouldn't be held accountable if you run over a breaster who shouldn't have been riding the streets. >> greg: basically, all of this means nothing until we know what trump is doing, right? >> yes, because he just takes
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all the oxygen out of the room depending on his choice, which is scary for joe biden. [laughter] >> greg: literally will take the oxygen out of the room. >> i think -- imagine having to be the person to dig up dirt on mike pence. what a mad man. >> greg: he makes shannon bream look like -- >> not like mike lindell, maybe pence will be a future crack addict. keep things interesting. >> greg: do crack by himself. >> keep that door cracked, if you will. i like desantis because he took florida from being our most insane state, remember, before he was there, if you heard news from florida, you never thought, good thing that happened. alligator, wal-mart, bath salts, just in different orders. >> we can't make fun of them. they counted their votes. they have got corona under control. they keep trying to nail him and he's looking pretty good.
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>> greg: i think he's the most competent candidate going right now. gigi, what do you think about the fact that biden is like in intermission. you've got trump 2016 to 2020. then you have biden, like an intermission where we all catch our breath. >> he's like a palette cleanser but that's disgusting. i only do opposition research. it's hard to say, on my husband. [laughter] >> greg: how many husbands? >> it's hard to say. >> greg: do you have any concurrently or do you do them in order? >> yes, i call him my current one. >> greg: do you hire a private detective? >> i can't divulge that but only on myself. >> greg: i wonder if private detectives are as good as the tv seerials say they are. they are not really like jim rockford. >> oh, my god. >> greg: i love him.
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>> greg: she was flat on her face at the end of the race and the coach was seething over her compromised breathing. i don't really know that but i like the rhyme. high school athletes in oregon will no longer have to wear masks after a track star collapsed at the finish line. i can relate although i collapsed at the starting line. a little self-deprecation there, i'm actually a great athlete. breaking her school's record. but at the end she tumbled and lost consciousness. her coach said she wasn't even sure where she was when she came to, which she has in common with
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joe biden. that was easy. >> the mask probably had something to do with it with the collapse so they urged the oregon health authority to change the rule and they agreed. now, the state's athletes can take off masks while competing in noncontact sports outdoors, like looting dick's sporting goods in portland. but at least maggie won the race. unlike my buddy cole, the guy can never finish anything. [indistinguishable voices] >> greg: so joe, you don't exercise at all. what -- this is ridiculous. watching people run with masks on, you see this in your city, when you go out at times, i
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guess. >> for me, i would have -- just to get out of running, i would have collapsed. scientists needed to consult that wearing mask while running not helpful. maybe take the lead weights off the feet, too. there are only two things you need to do when you're running is move your legs and breathe. and congrats to maggie. that's amazing, they are really turning it into harrison bergeron and if you're good at something they have to punish you with all of these extra add-ones. that's amazing that she won. i can't imagine giving enough [ bleep ] about anything that i would throw myself over the finish line. congrats to her. g.g., did you see fauci is still pushing, like kids at camps should still be wearing masks outside. this is torture. >> this is because fauci was probably beat up after school every single day for his entire
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elementary school career. >> greg: that could explain a lot of things in my life. the fact that i enjoyed getting beat up. [laughter] >> greg: i used to get it for free as a kid. now i pay for it. >> capitalism. >> greg: is this ever going to end? are people still going to be wearing masks outside because they feel like that's the virtue signal. >> in southern california it's never going to end, and they will probably still be wearing biden masks for sure. in other places, nashville, outside nashville -- >> greg: any place in tennessee. just follow the banjo music, no masks. >> and we're done. >> greg: fans of tennessee, i love tennessee, lauren in canada, do you have a lot of health bashes that are like staring at you outside? >> we just call those canadiens. where i live we're just coming out of an 8:00 p.m. curfew. it's still light outside.
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that's early. >> greg: everybody? >> everybody. >> greg: that's nuts. >> 8:00 p.m. so i have to eat dinner at six if i want to get back. i used to try to fight against it but i've bought into acceleration. with the police, boss the police, go for it. with two masks -- i say three, four, plastic bag over your face mask. breathing is how covid is spread. we won't talk about the nursing home incident as we know that didn't happen. i try to encourage them and hopefully this progressive problem will take care of itself. >> people should stop breathing. >> greg: if you imagine if fauci had a sense of humor. he should go on and say, one way to reduce covid is to practice not breathing. just build up your breath holding hour, so you can go through the whole day without ever breathing at all.
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>> in the 1990s, it was like holding your breath. if you could hol it for eight ours, something to strive for. we're basing our decision on medical guidance and evolving science as if it wasn't based on a teenager collapsing and potentially almost dying. if i were her parents i would have burned down her state except my family lives there. >> greg: you're a lawyer, does she have a right to see, she was okay, i guess? >> she was okay and it depends on damages, but we've seen this tension play out in the beginning of the lockdown, where essentially public health and safety and the amount of power that these guys have to set these rules, and then when you infringe on a constitutional right that's when it's a strict nexus that's required and a compelling interest but until that point, if she says, it's not -- is it a constitutional right to run track, at this point they are going to say, no, we were basing it on the cdc guidance, right? the director came out and said you don't have to wear masks
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outside and what did the white house do? oh, she was speaking in her personal capacity so on that wasn't enough to become guidance. >> greg: i hear this a lot from my drivers. wearing a mask in her car and you're alone, you can hyperventilate. you're breathing in your carbon dioxide and you get dizzy, and i've heard this anecdotally. i've heard it's increasing car accidents, that's fact that i just made up, but i wonder if people are sucking in their own co2. actually, i do know a lot about science. up next, we ask the question special report refuses to tackle. is there a glut of artificial -- [inaudible]
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>> greg: time once again for two more stories that are stupid but interesting. it's our award-winning segment called "two stupid stories." ♪ >> greg: the graphic never lies. in an odd photo released by the carter center, appeared to have
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met with the bidens, they appeared to meet with the bidens to form a ventriloquist act. >> my god. >> greg: the weird image was caused by a wide angled lens but even stranger, number of them are wearing a mask despite their combined age. meanwhile, the american society of plastic surgeons released a 2020 report showing that butt implants are filling pants and operating rooms nationwide and we do mean wide, am i right, america? we haven't confirmed these stats. we'll just assume when it comes to bit butts it can't lie. lauren what do you make of this butt surgery story? >> i don't know if anyone else's coronavirus experience has been like mine. i don't need help in that department. no exercise and a lot of fast food has kind of done service
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for me in one respect but i want to say a big thank you to mickey, all of these keen thinkers who have revitalized this butt implant section of the economy. >> greg: it was an underserved area of the body. g.g.? >> i think when you do an implant, i think there has to be more than one function. why can't it be a retractable awning. >> people don't understand, it's practice. butt implants can act as a shelf. and also, they can be retro fitted so that, if you're shot -- >> exactly exactly. where people just put the bathtub over another bathtub. you just put this over your butt. and then you get in the bathtub. >> i think -- actually, this is all due to the kardashians, who have had their put implants
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removed and put back in. >> greg: i'm not implanting anything in my butt, i tell you that. that time in the e.r., my god, explaining to them that i fell on the train set. [laughter] >> greg: emily, let's move on to tasteful stuff. [laughter] >> greg: joe biden, what do you make of this photo? interesting? >> yes. i just learned it was the wide lens thing but when i first saw this i was like, that's what happens when you become 90. i've been terrified for like -- yes, like a day, that that's what happens all the time. and then i learned it was from that wide angle lens, which probably says more about me than them. but, i mean, it just reminds me of the doll house murder, that book i read growing up. these guys are in a doll house with tiny people. >> greg: now that i know there is a lens like this that exists i might have to start using it
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for my erotic photography. >> that shot, it's like like a final shot -- it looks like she's going to have a drink of water and he's going to sing the national anthem with this act. no masks. ridiculous, at that age. that obscure reference for the director that did the movie "hereditary." i give you credit for that but a lot of people -- what's the name? okay. >> greg: it's a little bit much. who are you, dennis miller? >> okay. all right, babe. i love dennis miller. you're going to come do this show, aren't you, dennis? yes, i am. don't go anywhere. we'll be right back.
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you never miss an episode. thank you to our guests and studio audience. shannon bream is next. i love you, america. *** >> shannon: hello and welcome to fox news at night. i'm shannon bream in washington. breaking tonight, republicans sounding the alarm warning all conservatives they say are at risk of being censored on social media. what will facebook's ban of former president trump mean? we'll have the latest. the governor andrew cuomo still defiant tonight. republicans and politics are to blame for the covid nursing home scandal


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