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tv   Gutfeld  FOX News  May 3, 2022 8:00pm-9:00pm PDT

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patton says yosemite sam. no, not quite. and they say that it is the pardoned thanks giving turkey. a big reveal. a turkey has been terrorizing, and it is apparently across state boundaries, five agencies from as many jurisdictions. we have "gutfeld!" coming up next. thank you for watching "the ingraham angle." ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ greg: look at that, yeah. happy tuesday, everyone. well, that was a big night last night, right? well, i am speaking of the met
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gala. photographers were allowed and to make sure that the elite didn't get dressed up for nothing. and what a glorious spectacle of people gallivanting like clydesdales in drag, starving themselves on cigarettes and diet coke. the breakfast of supermodels. fun fact, that is how the wife of mr. ed died. all right, there is katy perry, she seems to have lost her mask. they asked her who she was wearing. and then there is kendall jenner. she has her mask and her eyebrows. talk about lucky.
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and i wonder where they were ended up. [laughter] greg: talk about moving up in the world. >> she looks permanently surprised, like she accidentally sat on a poor person. and then look at tara delaveigne. she looks like a bowling trophy with breasts. and of course, she had no mask either, how else would anyone recognize her. >> and then there is the flowing down, not the kind that bill likes.
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[laughter] greg: i am referring to amtrak. all right, underrated. and you can look at her smile. of course, it is probably gas. maybe she did have gas. but can you imagine if melania had a dress like that? the screams of be louder than the dresses. and so there you go, the perfect illustration of how the elite expect others to behave. they enforce the rules for others, but not for them, with or without the masks, you can see who they are at events like this. strutting around like those with butter in their mouths. who knows, they would end up
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emulating these people so that we could be free in the first place. it's not about race, it's not about gender, it is about power. the theme of the gala was gilded glamour. but it should've been the victorian era, contrasting with servitude, and masks are definitely the new caps worn by old maids. and it appears to have gone to their heads. ♪ ♪ ♪ >> oh, my goodness. the cup runneth over. you know, what is so nice, i have to say ever since she got back from the white house correspondents dinner, she has been acting different. >> what am i looking at here. [laughter] >> well, we only have the one. >> where are your masks 3 we
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need to cover those unrecognizable faces. [laughter] not cool. i have to go to the vomitorium to work up an appetite. please, take me there. [laughter] [applause] greg: if only she were acting. [laughter] greg: if we learn anything from the pandemic, those in power can lock you down while being free is a mother in manhattan. speaking of, an explosion and of violent murderous crime, this is what eric adams wears. pretty good right there. [laughter] >> that is a fashion statement. it screams to end gun violence.
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he knows that he's the mayor and that's the job. the rumor is that he bought it at a bill de blasio yard sale. well, this will stop crime for sure. gangs and criminals all tuning in because they have it deep interest in embroidery. it's easier to wear a shirt with a slogan on it than the healthy average joe. they didn't want masks to hide the smug look on their faces. it can help to solve other problems rather than wielding poses, firemen can wear jackets and say don't play with matches. and the worst part, it is forcing mask mandates on kids. no longer required at sporting events or galas where the rich hang out. the brats must wear them at school. dropping the mandate for athletes and now you have a choice. get it or play for the new york knicks. the mayor also had a fresh
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pedicure, nothing says more than someone getting paid $7 per hour, removing your toe jam. and i get it, rich and powerful people need to have fun, even when the people that voted for them are. and that is why every time it happens cheney's up in someone's face. rampant crime, we all need a break from that, including the very people causing it. and even this individual took time off. [laughter] [applause] greg: let's welcome tonight's guest, she is chipper. our cohost emily compagno. and the only thing more economic than his personality on his legs, johnny joey jones.
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[cheers] [applause] >> and this is like a car's tailpipe. exhausting. and when he raises the roof, it is our champion, tyrus. so emily. do you think it's a good idea for the mayor to be there? well, i think that he could have attended in a better way. and here's what i mean by that. this is someone that acknowledge the fact that all of these issues have a lot of complex variables. he said i am actually going to refund the police, i'm going to restore and try to find some
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common sense approaches and with that slogan on his back, he reduced him to be oversimplified, i think, progressive left, that he was supposed to not be a part of. >> what would you wear? >> well, something amazing with a broad. [laughter] >> and no offense, but this kind of look like a beauty and the beast character. >> how are you, joey.
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>> well, i got a pedicure to come here. greg: what part of the brain. >> you know, they still need to come together, they still need to be in the spotlight, you don't seem to have that. >> you know, i work in tv. at the end of the day, i don't think that people necessarily get outraged, they literally just don't care. when i saw hillary clinton i
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mean, you know, it was pretty funny. greg: what do you make of the mask thing? i think you know what it meant. >> i was thinking that i knew what it meant. [laughter] i mean, i did know what it meant. why wear a mask, you said it perfectly, you are on fire tonight. it was pretty good. but that aside, here is where the mayor is messing up, obviously the mayor wants to be in the in crowd, that's not how you get to be in the in crowd, you have to go back to 9/11. but rudy giuliani, when he became the mayor, he became
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famous through that. it takes more than a sign on your back. to get to the point where everyone is like hey, this is america's mayor. not because you made appearances like that, but you showed up and you did the work and put a sign on your back that everyone's confused of. talking about and gun violence. so he lost me that night. he is now just a guy that wants to be famous. and he is a former policeman, if he was still a policeman he would've been in the streets. >> that is an excellent point. [cheers] [applause] >> so what even as the met gala? do you have interest in going? not with me, but just going? >> you never know. >> hr does not watch the show. [laughter] >> if they were watching this i
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mean, you know. >> so the met gala is kind of like new year's eve in times square to me. it is where it is really hyped up, but i don't know if it's not that fun or how any of these people see it. and it's like all those dresses, like they have to come with a catheter. [laughter] >> that's a great idea. [laughter] 3 if i had a dress like that, i would have a catheter and a bra. greg: well, kat timpf, ica catheter but it is spelled like your name with the letter k. [laughter] louisiana i can only see the infomercials and you're like hey, have a kat, what's that.
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[laughter] >> i would outsell all your books combined with that. greg: we are in a brand-new studio, and the audience is also back. free tickets are now available. go to fox isn't that exciting? come see us, and visit the new studio. we will be right back after this . so u bring ubrelvy. it can quickly stop migraine in its tracks within 2 hours... without worrying if it's too late or where you are. unlike older medicines, ubrelvy is a pill that directly blocks a protein believed to be a cause of migraine. do not take with strong cyp3a4 inhibitors. most common side effects were nausea and tiredness. migraine pain relief starts with u. learn how abbvie can help you save. ask about ubrelvy, the anytime, anywhere migraine medicine. ready to turn your dreams into plans
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greg: they said that his tweets were harmful, and he's not the first senator from delaware. the white house bureau chief, yes, that guy right there.
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the white house officials want donald trump back on twitter because he will scare voters away from republicans. and this despite showing them from traditional groups like hispanics, blacks, and dead people. he said this during a show named after a german act. >> a number of them told me this over the weekend, elon musk takes twitter, they hope that he will put donald trump back on it. they think it will remind the voters of the crazy fringe messages, these candidates, and they can only be good for democrats. >> reminding voters how crazy things were back when we were on the verge of world war iii.
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>> yesterday he said this. as president. [inaudible]
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>> he is clear, because we know that everybody knows that there may not be awareness. so if we have this big meeting, that could be addressed. greg: they talked about the cohost there. they didn't take it personally.
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[inaudible] [cheers] [applause] there you go. >> all right, tyrus. i have to say that they may have a point. they need trump to be a distraction from the disastrous administration, and they are going to do that. as much as i love that
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accomplishment, we understand what is talked about. >> i feel like we have never watched a bad guy movie ever. the entire administration, so you are going to invest more in trying to camouflage bad these than actually fix them, it is the plot to keep him from becoming king, if they just would've left arthur alone, but no, instead they go through this elaborate steaming and planning. they will forget about this. and then there is the one guy that is like hey, we can just fix some policies. and it's like doctor evil, like, you know, you just don't get it. they are saying it out loud, which is even worse. but these republicans, we do
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this and we are like hey, we are going to put donald trump back on twitter. >> you can talk about smack. or the advice. >> well, it is not advice for kamala harris, they are all clearly the problem with her doing nothing. but yes, that is what they need. and i mean, i don't even know if she would appreciate that, though, because starting from even before she was a vice president, her campaign, her selection as a vice president, she likes to have the excuse of the only reason people don't like me is because they are racist or sexist and not because they have this important job. and it's their fault that i'm
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not competent and i haven't gotten anything done and i've gone around giggling. but if we have that meeting, maybe she wouldn't be able to claim that. >> she doesn't want to go to a meeting. if i were her, i would not go to that meeting. >> at least you have accomplished something in your life. >> you want people to stand up, give them something to stand for. >> this is where you have a prepared answer for the questions we are about to ask, and like will what people bird, those are just aggressions, they don't like her because she makes them look bad. >> another name for show. micro-aggression well, i could
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be coming up. sorry, peter, i'm so tired of hearing her very own peter say that. >> last word, make it a good one. >> welcome on that note, i think that that is something that has been a hallmark of the kamala harris career, all that she has been leaking about is a position without having to earn it and every position she held in california, rising up in the ranks, it was only about occupying the seat, nothing that she was earning it with. and that is why she is the lowest approval rate in the country. so what does that tell you in the voters that know you best like you the least? when they say it's
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micro-aggression, it might just be lack of any respect. and if you've done nothing if you pointed it out. on the cover of vogue, she was like hey, you put me on speaker, but the editor said it's because we wanted you to be relatable, that you were here representing americans that could relate to you. isn't this a good thing? but no, she wanted to be separate, she wanted to be a leader because it's all about the position. she is a gladiator. joaquin phoenix was talking about -- greg: oh, i hated that. with russell crowe. >> if we want to fix that, it's really easy. >> the bongos. play the bongos. [laughter]
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you play those, things don't sound so messed up anymore. [applause] [laughter] >> coming up next, liberals are shoving it in your face. they never let a crisis go to waste. baby got back. ♪ ♪ ♪ "peace of mind." such a big, beautiful idea. and for us at this means - free cancellation on most bookings. it's a bit functional. but we'll gladly be functional. so you can be free. booking.yeah
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ahh, that's what friends are for. ask your veterinarian for apoquel. next to you, apoquel is a dog's best friend. >> i was just doing my judge impression. greg: demanding to give up meat for beans. and on abc news, the global food and fertilizer shortages, caused by the russian invasion of ukraine. she also blamed for causing high blood pressure and the cancellation of glee. then she suggested a reality to their advantage. >> globally up 34% from where they were a year ago. that includes natural solutions and this may hasten the
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transition that would've been in the interest to make it anyway. so never let a crisis go to waste. >> 3 people are going to starve in poor countries, at least marie antoinette wanted them to eat cake. these dirtbags recently filled bags of merchandise, onlookers looking on, they aren't called stoppers for a reason. on the bright side, they store some nicotine patches, so at least they are trying to quit smoking. there is a crisis here, crisis
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there, and it is just going to come down, 35% is what food is going up, this is what starts wars. >> we have a government program after world war ii, you know, we have a program where we have certain things that are federally protected so that if we go to war with someone and can't get food, we have food, but where is all the [bleep] at? well, avocados and kale are federally protected, that's how messed up it is because we cannot survive without them.
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and i don't want her in charge of our food distribution. >> it will text and be like hey, is she eating. [laughter] >> because of the nicotine and all of that. >> i think something like this, it's not bad someone that looks on the bright side, but it doesn't work if the dark side of the issue doesn't affect you at all. but, you will end up getting to eat whether there are food shortages are not, so like if a loved one dies and they say well, at least it's not hard on them anymore. it's like wait, why are you talking about that. you are my college roommates
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cousin and it's true. thank you, you should be a therapist. [laughter] >> the smash and grab stuff is still going on. are we just jaded that we say yeah, whatever? insurance companies have accepted it, what do you think? >> you know, those topics are related. the biggest food shortages are urban. so 17 of the 20 walgreens and the city have closed. in that city it's five times the national average for the chain. and there are plenty of interviews of the elderly saying that is the walgreens that my grandmother relied on to get her food. also prescriptions and vaccines, as well as everything else. >> i buy my dinner at walgreens. >> yeah, you do, just like a lot of other people.
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so yes, it is absolutely impacting communities that need our help the most. and if you are robbing someplace in flip-flops, you know they have no qualms. >> well, you are right, you do this a lot. i like to go to walgreens and come up with an idea for dinner. >> you are a lying little man right now. [laughter] saying hey, i'm going to walgreens for dinner. [laughter] you will fill it up with a bag of snacks you hope will just fly by them and that they won't price check it. >> what did you have?
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doritos? >> there like twice the price. >> a last word on this? you know, every time that i see it, the more stores close down, the higher the prices go up, eventually, people, you're going to start seeing this, someone that was -- at someplace he was going to go and he's going to take it. and it's coming. >> and that video. it's like a step in the right direction. >> if you whisper it or yell it. that's a real thing. [laughter]
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it is a prescription only treatment and is not for pregnant women or people allergic to its ingredients. talk to your doctor or visit to learn more. greg: what happens when youare t cohabitating? it seems that your realtor is stumped because everyone got dumped. a model wants to know if you are a genus before you can without your plans for a second day. and there is a one-bedroom shortage in new york because so many couples broke up over the pandemic. meanwhile, people that live in studio apartments are prepared to die alone. and obviously it was hard on couples for many reasons, including getting to know each other. and binging on all of those murders shows on netflix like hey, yeah, i could pull this off. it can be tough. so that's why they force men to
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take iq tests went on dates, she says even though his gorgeous, so smart that she can't connect with anyone that doesn't have an above average iq. i would rather connect my toaster to my bathtub. more red flags than the beijing olympics. if you don't need an iq test, the far more simpler one would be for her to ask this question, can you tell my lips, nose, and boots our fate? [laughter] as real as her mensa membership. >> it makes me sick to my stomach, kat timpf. what do you make of this? the one-bedroom thing. why don't people swap partner so they can move into the other apartment? they can ask for one-bedroom relationship ending. >> i understand it is a concept.
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i don't know how practical it would be. >> i don't know how practical. but it would make me rich. >> i actually wish that i would've done this, not because i actually want to know anybody's iq come about because of i told someone to take an iq test and he did it i could later be like [bleep] [laughter] and it's like hey, you are so weak, you would never survive. who would actually do that? >> well, i would say should go first. [laughter] yeah, yeah, there's a reason. all the filters, and a sexist person would not say that. everybody would say that. [laughter] like you're going to take a test
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for that? >> that's good, that's good. >> to you by this? i mean, this is like data from real estate agents. it's not real data. it's like they are having a hard time finding one-bedroom apartments. >> well, according to the study it is a big deal. but as one of the realtors said, i went to school for therapy because i became a therapist for these people, but yes, there's like 3 billion or whatever it is -- greg: okay, 3 billion. >> yeah, i know. greg: there something that they talk about regarding women that can't do math. >> she's like hey, the parties bigger, look on the bright side,
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for those people, but not us. >> it didn't make any sense. >> on the apartment thing, it kind of reminds me of that episode, it was really funny. there should be something here. i feel bad for people that live in studio apartments to begin with. >> i live in a studio apartment. >> that young lady that looked like a bug in a picture. she did it on purpose. [laughter] >> she is talking about men taking an iq test. my body is like how many kids do
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you have, how many daddies do they have. you know, he is coming to her in a much different way. >> that is an excellent point. should americans adjust their expectations for multiple vacations earn big time with chase freedom unlimited with no annual fee. how do you cashback? chase. make more of what's yours. hi! need new glasses? get 50% off a complete pair at visionworks! how can you see me squinting? i can't! i'm just telling everyone!... hey! for a limited time, get 50% off a complete pair. visionworks. see the difference. hey businesses! you all deserve something epic! so we're giving every business, our best deals on every iphone - including the iphone 13 pro with 5g. that's the one with the amazing camera? yep! every business deserves it... like one's that re-opened!
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>> we are short on time, so here's the story in five words. for family vacations a year. well, apparently when people were growing up, they had an average of four vacations per year according to this? who are these people? >> we took like a dozen vacations per year, until i realized that it was trips to the vfw and that was not trips like that. >> we would rent a cabin at lake tahoe, but the places were so filthy that you wouldn't even believe it. >> we went camping. that's all we did. you know, i don't know. >> your dad was on the run?
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[laughter] >> we have to go, let's play a little game. [laughter] and then we are going to go on a camping trip. >> never again. >> well, you can't go on the run because you have a job. >> family vacations. [laughter] >> on the weekends i used to be asked to spend the night at my friends house. so that's kind of a vacation. and i did it every weekend. so in her defense, she was looking for a new family. [laughter] you bring the big kid over
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after. >> okay, i see, you are not there to make yeah, there is this 11-year-old with a tattoo and you are probably going to go the other way. [laughter] >> i knew that because i read the book. >> it's a great book. you can read more about it. all right, you grew up in the area. did you go to lake tahoe? poor? [laughter] >> yes, we did go to lake tahoe often. [laughter] and we were like the station wagon family going to yosemite, but not with the crazy exit escapades. apparently two thirds of americans just want to stay home
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and have a stay at home vacation. everyone wants to hang out, but i wanted to get out. >> that is a media creation word. i hate that word. that whole staycation term. >> i imagine that your parents left you behind a lot. [laughter] >> that's funny. [laughter] >> the child, the child. [laughter] >> the thing i hated most about other family vacations, you always thought that other families were weird, you reversed in the station wagon. and your children would sit facing away from the direction and just stare out at other drivers.
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most common side effects are nausea, constipation, and tiredness. learn how abbvie can help you save on qulipta™. >> it was another great show. thank you so much for joining us, everyone. shannon bream is next. we love you, america. ♪ ♪ ♪ >> welcome, everyone, i am shannon bream in washington. the unprecedented weep of opinions after the investigation into roe versus wade. an


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