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tv   Gutfeld  FOX News  May 12, 2022 8:00pm-9:00pm PDT

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who bought them? >> they sent them an email. >> laura: can you imagine your first greater bringing that home? that will get your attention. all proceeds for the month of may are going to the shoreline soup kitchen. greg gutfeld next. ♪ ♪ >> greg: pretty insane, happy thursday everyone. it's almost the weekend had not can't wait. emergency room here i come. a few days ago we played tape of
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the incoming white house press secretary calling all of us racist, roll it. >> fox news was racist before coronavirus, they are racist turning, they will be racist after the coronavirus, there is nothing new here. >> greg: so true. this should upset me, what that i ever do to her? other than oppress her by my very existence because i'm a middle-aged white guy -- middle aged. we've never even met, i don't know where she lives unlike the supreme court justices. i'm mowing fred kavanaugh's lawn on saturday. he pays me in beer. once she becomes press secretary and is asked if she still thinks fox news is racist, will she have an answer ready? will it be an honest one like that was just tv, or will she dance around it like lismore and does at a bonfire to celebrate the end of winter.
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let's take a look at a past democratic debate featuring joe when he still had a working brain and control of his. and is now vice president before hiding like a serial killer on a run. >> it was hurtful to hear you talk about the reputation of two united states senators who built their reputations and career on segregation of race in this country. you also worked with them to oppose busing. there was little girl in california who was part of the second class to integrate her public schools and she was bus to school every day. and that little girl was me. >> greg: i didn't see that coming. harris calling biden a racist, it was her only memorable debate moment despite getting crushed by posey gabbard but did she mean it, she seemed so sincere and it's hard for her to seem
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sincere, kat's hair is less fake. she twisted the knife into that old white racist, did she mean it? it's quite an accusation, i hope you took it seriously. >> it was a debate. >> not everybody landed punches like you did. >> it was a debate. >> so you don't mean it. >> it was a debate, it's the whole reason, literally it was a debate, it's called the debate. there were journalists there covering the debate. >> greg: it was a debate! i happen to think stephen colbert had her on because he heard it she will laugh at anything including him. calling him a racist was a theatrical device, nothing will go wrong.
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it's acceptable during a televised debate whether it's true or not it's okay to smear someone as racist if they make you the second most powerful person in the world. after dr. jill. she's got the prescription pads, she's a doctor. is the political equivalent of slamming a folding chair over the back of a competitor in pro wrestling. it looks devastating but it's part of the game. it can ruin you. with harris, the chair is real but the personality is still phony. what does that example tell you? if jean-pierre is never asked by our very own dumb slb peter doocy if she thinks he's racist, she will likely say that was in the past, let's move on to real issues which will reveal how little they take their opinion seriously. it's like when one your friends start a rumor you beat your wife
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and you said lighten up, just a joke. here, calling people racist is a good career path. it's quite a racket claiming everything is racist to get a really good job. i believe we are leading the world in successful oppressed people. how many people who use the word racist or actually seriously thinking about it at the time. has anyone responded to them, could you please give an specific example of my racism, don't think of slavery and jim crow unlike a joe biden and davy crockett, wasn't born then. my guess is they will be quieter than the set of who is talking to chris wallace. [cheers and applause] i'm just going to stew in that. now the word racist is meaningless because people throwing it around made it meaningless. it's the semantic equivalent of the fed printing too much money. the more they put it out there, the less value it has >>
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remember when white supremacist used to mean kkk? now it's larry elder. what happens when you end up running into someone you smeared as a bigot -- just like me interviewing a naked nba player, it could get awkward. the height is a problem. role it. ♪ ♪ >> i will have the cruelty free potato chips, extra vegan milk shake and a side of the free range kale. >> you don't remember me? you told hr that i was racist and that zoom call. >> it doesn't count, zoom is not a real. >> i was in line for a big promotion. >> stop getting mad at me, don't you know getting mad at is sexist? >> you ruined my career, take your chips. >> i'm not paying for these
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because the potatoes were grown on indigenous land. see you later, racist. >> that was amazing, congratulations, we are making vice president of the company. >> amazing, you're fired! racist! >> thank you for holding me accountable, appreciate your time. >> greg: crowd favorite. meanwhile the right once again learn from the left and found their own smeared to drive them nuts. what came from the disney controversy in florida? one word -- groomer. i thought it groomer was the guy who did my bikini wax. shout out to julio. now every lefty is a groomer because it's a mirror of what the dems did with racist or do. every rich person racist, every white person racist, every trump rally racist, every dead president every monument, every
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name of every school, podcast or, comedian, racist, racist, racist. than every left-wing teacher is a groomer. every left-wing disney employee who wants a gender studies talk to toddlers as a groomer. everyone who defends the medicalization of confused kids is a groomer. everyone who owns the own island and names their private plane the lolita express is -- that's a bad example. but you get it. him groomer is the right answer to racist. you call us bigots, we call you groomer, it's going to get hard for the left of figure two is left to call racist. meanwhile real racists get off scot-free. ultimately what should you do what you end up running into somebody who labeled you a bigot to. you shouldn't reward them by making you vice president. that would be stupid, that would be very stupid, you groomer.
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let's welcome the night's guests! he's got -- host of the guy benson show and fox news contributor, guy benson! he's so shredded i use him in the kitchen to grade cheese. ross smith. she's like a paper straw, thin, white and she will decompose into go months. fox news contributor kat timpf. and the last time he slipped and fell, the grand canyon appeared to. tyrus! >> it's like die town -- >> greg: it's like die town
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with a guy. what does that mean? >> sounds of the fun place to go this weekend. >> it was a group but now it's just one guy and his name is guy, talking about news, watching baseball, going boating, guy benson town! >> what? >> how much do you spend on those graphics? >> greg: $280,000, we had to let go three people from the cafeteria to make that. it was worth it, they didn't do very much and they always stared at me and they aren't supposed to look me in the eye. there were so close to retirement but now they are getting their pension, next time don't look at me, where am i? here's the deal. the kamala thing and the jean-pierre thing both have something in common in the sense that they are just playing a game and when the game, when the
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cash out of the game it's like no hard feelings but you do call people racist so was that's just part of the game and we are supposed to laugh it off because we are in the media? there are people who can't come back from that. >> i think what was telling with the very last thing we played in the clip from the incoming press secretary where she went through the whole litany, she said there's nothing new here. that is true, they have like three moves and this is one of them. there is nothing new in smearing a bunch of people as racist and they are running out of real estate here. the american people aren't buying it. the new poll tested thing is ultra maga whatever that means. it's like fund-raising level for the rnc. silver, gold, platinum, and ultra maga. they are going to lean into it and if you donate now you're going to get a free trumpy there. they have nothing left so they threw out a very loaded word that is offensive and a lot of people shrug and roll their eyes met their fault.
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>> greg: ultra maga sounds like something i get at the pharmacy. you know what i mean? >> no. not making eye contact. >> greg: rob, is it a fair correlation when you saw people when they reacted to the phrase groomer -- it was like this a month ago, they all freaked out, i found it highly entertaining because now they got a taste of their own medicine -- i don't believe all liberals are groomers come up with that's ridiculous but it was fun. >> it was fun because they were so triggered, that's the thing. back to the kamala harris moment, that might be one of my favorite moments ever in kamala harris history. the camera goes in and it gets really quiet, the music starts and she says i was that little girl. than the t-shirts, remember the t-shirts on the website immediately when she said that. >> greg: the fastest t-shirt company ever.
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>> it was insane. calling everything racist is the best drift on the left. the guy who rode how to be an antiracist, $20,000 an hour to call white people racist, i want that job. i would love that job. >> i'm not paying you. >> greg: i'll pay you to call him a racist. stealing my sweater. tyrus -- let me switch that question. what do you think the next smear is going to be? happy thought about that? >> the next time you make a shot at wrestling like that -- have you ever taken a chair shot? your point was it was fake? >> greg: i say that! i carefully edited that line. >> that's one of the realist things it gets, there's no nice
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way to hit a guy over the head with a steel chair. >> greg: he takes us very personally. >> have you ever been hit with a chair especially when you're a big guy they think you can take vocal or five of them. >> greg: are those wheelchairs? real chairs? >> you know what? they are not, i'm going to bring one tomorrow night on the show. you racist. [laughter] you get $20,000. with inflation, that's what, six bucks? they are saying everybody is racist, it's a shame because people in the black community who are getting these great jobs attacking by calling racist,
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sunny from the view, she recently tried to tear down a black woman for being a republican, she said a black republican is an oxymoron. that's about as racist as you get when someone's in skin color determines the way they are able to think. apparently wanting small government and to keep most of your tax money, you can't be black and do that. taking ideologies away from a group is the definition of racism and its not coming from the right. guy is not walking in a making a comment about me going what are you doing, go outside and parked my car. that is racist and horrible and we would see him anymore because he would be destroyed to. they're doing it live on tv in your face and no one can question them on it because they use that blanket the say whatever they want to. there is racism but it's coming from the left attacking other minorities who have a different set of opinions and that is ten
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times worse than someone who puts across outside your yard in my opinion. >> greg: another great turn as dirtbags get. >> that's not her. >> i don't know who that ugly lady is. >> greg: instant classic. what should -- if peter doocy, what he should do if he asks john pierre, and my racist, what should she say? >> i don't think he should ask her if he's a racist. i think that's a question, can you be fair. it's gone so crazy because like you said the word doesn't mean anything anymore but it's obviously completely unserious throughout. if you look at kamala, i'm starting to get jealous of kamala. if i wanted to sit around and not work and laugh at stupid
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stuff like that, i would have to do so many with it. >> greg: you mean the drug and not the dog. >> i met the dog. most people get to do nothing and sit around giggling. he described every stoner who works in the back of the kitchen but she is the vice president, that is the dream -- remember this was supposed to be the return to normal, we had the president guy who doesn't know where he is and then we have the vice president who just sits around -- she doesn't know what a joke is at least. >> she figures if she keeps laughing at everything it will match a joke. >> yeah. it's like laughing on cruise control. >> greg: that's true, no foot on the pedal there. do they make that anymore? i don't know, i'm talking to myself because we must leave for a short break. up next it feels like we are getting punk when the
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disinformation czar tweets stuff that is debunked.
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>> greg: more like half which. i workshop to that for hours. its tales of russian collusion from biden's department of dilution, yet more proof the head of the disinfo board is out of her door to. head of homeland security's newly created disinformation board, if her video was any nuttier, it would come out of an elephant's ass. she had no problem pushing this claim that trump had ties to
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russia's alpha bank, she shared a tweet from hillary clinton about the bogus claims for the 2016 election, that a pile of garbage from slate read in part it's time for trump to answer serious questions about his ties to russia, he has a secret server would set up to communicate privately with a prudent tide russian bank. the server was so secret it didn't exist. turns out she spread false claims the way brian stelter spreads peanut butter on his chest with both hands and a big smile across his face. greatest hits including debunked stuff, doubting the hunter laptop story. if this was 20 years ago she would have you infesting with bernie made off. origins are now focus of a trial of michael sussman. the clinton connected lawyer
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charged with lying to the fbi when he brought them a tip about a possible trump-russia link. our condolences for his upcoming suicide. i'm joking! for his sake, i am, rob! even if this lady at the head of the ministry of truth is incompetent, is this a bad idea even if they are good at it? >> it's a terrible idea, these people in 1984 made a movie out of it, they are trying to make a movie documentary. with these people are trying to do, they want to edit your tweets. it's not that they want to control everything that's going on, it's not that they want the truth out there, they want their version of the truth out of their difficulties of the same people that are telling you hundred different presenters, they are telling you men should
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get pregnant. these are the people that want to be in charge of the truth of this country, it is absurd. >> greg: her idea of what a fact is has only become relevant in the last seven or eight months. he's a walking twitter trend, i am worried about her because we have not seen her, it fell off the face of the earth. mary poppins got stuck in the tree. >> she has an interest in musical theater and those people don't go out to. >> greg: may be that is at, what is musical theater? >> i don't know because i'm cool. >> greg: i have a feeling right now guy is burning up. >> i am really cool, look how cool i am. i look like your dad's sassy cool paralegal, your soon-to-be stepmom.
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hide your dad! >> greg: hide your dad. >> did she just give up violence to half of this set? >> that is a homophobic hate crime. >> two guys on set, we are going after musical theater, we see you, kat. >> we are having a meeting with hr after this. >> don't be intimidated by how cool i am. that is the worst thing. do you see she tweeted, she was talking about how on twitter how she wants a verified check mark people to add context to the tweets come i don't want anybody associated with the government doing that. >> greg: i can't even think of one new musical that i actually like. i sat through some and it's not pleasant.
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[laughter] i guess that makes me incredibly heterosexual. i love me some women. >> that was convincing. really convincing. >> exodus for six years. >> conversion therapy joke, didn't even know what i was talking about. >> what do you think, what is going on? >> i feel like anything i say right now is going to be held against me. [laughter] [cheers and applause] >> it finally landed! >> look at her face.
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>> i've seen that look before. at least on four different occasions. there is no one that can do this job, there's no one that can do this job, there's no one who's not going to push their own bias, if it was a republican board it would be the same thing. the only thing i would ask is that they pick somebody not a walking oxymoron for the whole idea. she picked everything that was a lie, i think it could be on the wrong side of something, we've all been there. but you need to be able to acknowledge that. i thought that trump was connected to those two banks and i was wrong. suddenly you have more caveat, that's a reasonable person. that is not what they do. must've been a different bank, they just keep going and going and going. when you do go to a musical and they say three acts when you get
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to the second act you're like what else is there to sing about? >> greg: i've got to get guy in here. when i'm at home watching nascar with my babes i'm wondering we just found out about this lady. she must be doing this information for years before we found out, that's exactly what i said to my babes while watching nascar. i have my own cake machine. you should come by after work, it will be me in my babes. the babes aren't here, what do we do? >> i'll help you handle those babes. [laughter] >> they had to get up early,
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it's you and me in this follow-up champagne in this hot tub. they have no close, i should stop now. >> i'm building an hr case now. >> hr understands that we are artists. just time musical theater artists. >> i want to agree with something, he said no one can do this job and i agree with that, the job should not exist, it should not exist at all. i'm glad that biden or whoever it was picked her because she is so self discrediting, she is this wild, crazy eyed mary poppins cartoon character who i think is preferable to someone who might seem more serious and more evenhanded. she isn't that and it's so obvious, i think that does us a service. >> greg: kind of like if they had somebody who could fit the bill and we went to how absurd
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the whole idea is, excellent point, guy. that's why it's a die town. up next, they make up a phony crisis to label parents as isis. if you have type 2 diabetes or high blood pressure you're a target for chronic kidney disease. you can already have it and not know it. if you have chronic kidney disease your kidney health could depend on what you do today. ♪far-xi-ga♪ farxiga is a pill that works in the kidneys to help slow the progression of chronic kidney disease. farxiga can cause serious side effects including dehydration, urinary tract or genital yeast infections in women and men, and low blood sugar. ketoacidosis is a serious side effect that may lead to death. a rare, life-threatening bacterial infection
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>> greg: when parents got upset, the doj called them a threat. it was a lie when garland said the fbi didn't spy. according to whistle-blowers inside the doj, the fbi used counterterrorism tools to target parents who protested their children's school covid policies, this is in stark contrast to statements made by attorney general merrick garland who claimed before congress that such investigations never happened. jim jordan and mike johnson say they have evidence garland directed the fbi to label parents with that threat tag allowing the bureau to track them. we've got to get one of those, the investigations claimed --
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threat tags were applied over the country, the threat operation center was used as a tip line were parents or school officials could be reported to. the calls were more one-sided than me challenging hire us to a slam-dunk contests. he still owes me 40 bucks. gun owners, republicans and those opposed to vaccine mandates were often targeted, not surprisingly fbi found zero evidence of any terrorist threats. i doubt the doj would spend this much effort investigating antifa or blm or people showing up at supreme court justice houses. i have been living in amy coney baratz basement for the last three months. no one seems to mind, i wear one of her robes to bed. it's stupid of me to mention this here on a tv show. they will probably change the locks come let's hope brian kilmeade will let me in through a window. tyrus, you know what?
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don't journalists love this story, the government targeting civilians and citizens and it's like nothing to see here. >> if it doesn't come up on the tweeted feed him it's not real news. i would imagine we are probably on that list. >> greg: yes. >> you definitely. i'm pretty sure you are on that list long before all that stuff broke out. i wonder what that was like surveilling parents. that got the guys in the van -- we got them. looks like she's doing laundry and he's checking the mail. they are outside -- we got movement, taking out the trash! there's a can on the grass, he's yelling at the neighbor's kid, now they are inside and they're going to watch looks like a sitcom of some sort lights are out it's 10:30 -- likes are on, he's back down from a disgruntled, upset, looks like he's watching an adult movie. back to you.
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>> greg: that's basically true. there's a weird thing where is merrick garland lying or ignorant? this ploy, alejandra mallorca's did this, they are always first to know stuff. he is in charge. >> the government does this all the time. it's never like they say we are doing this because we want to gain power and control over you and take some of your rights away, it's always a for your own good thing. they saw an opportunity here, obviously to try and expand powers that they were given and have it apply to spy on parents that may be didn't like vaccine mandates or masks but when it became the war on covid, they thought that applied there. the government does time, that's why you're not supposed to trust them. >> greg: there you go. up guy, i imagine spying on you would probably get nothing exciting out of that. [laughter] >> thanks.
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[laughter] >> greg: even your response. >> scintillating! >> greg: what are your thoughts on this? it's not good. >> if i recall correctly, the education department solicited a complaint from the school board group to go to doj to then have an excuse to do these investigations and doj swore up and down we didn't actually do these things and now it appears that there is evidence and i would like to see the evidence if they in fact did the things that they denied. is there somewhere i can report this information? is there a woman who was in charge of this, could i sent her a spoonful of sugar of disinformation? i think i found some. [applause] >> greg: nicely done. leftward to you, what do you make of this? >> they spent so much time
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investigating parents and investigating people that happen to be republican leaning, they don't spend a whole lot of time investigating people who are coming across the border, maybe we want to know whether they are terrorists or not, maybe we want to know what's going on there. they spent so much of this time on the american people, it's crazy. the reason -- you guys brought up earlier about journalists, we don't have journalists nowadays, we have democratic party operatives. since the home team is doing this stuff, they do not care. >> greg: why did viewers say ew while watching the view? you . unlike older medicines, ubrelvy is a pill that directly blocks a protein believed to be a cause of migraine. do not take with strong cyp3a4 inhibitors. most common side effects were nausea and tiredness. migraine pain relief starts with u. learn how abbvie can help you save. ask about ubrelvy, the anytime, anywhere migraine medicine.
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your shipping manager left to “find themself.” leaving you lost. you need to hire. i need indeed. indeed you do. indeed instant match instantly delivers quality candidates matching your job description. visit >> our view on the view. >> greg: eat that, faced the nation. [laughter] what did sarah silverman do to discussed the view? apparently what she puts in her mouth had the detestable cast freaking out. she didn't show up in blackface -- at least not this time. she's waiting for joy behar to
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go first. i hadn't seen that much vacant blackness since rachel dolezal crashed the bet awards. she admitted she always shares a toothbrush with her boyfriend. apparently plenty of time to brush it since neither of them is ever laughing. that's a great line, she described it that she and her boyfriend share and oral-b. >> not only are you sharing your bed, you're sharing a toothbrush. >> ew, really? that's disgusting. >> i have never shared a toothbrush with another person in my life and for some reason with rory, we have never not use the same toothbrush. >> greg: silverman defended herself by making another gross comment which we will not share because as a family show as you can tell. if silverman wanted to make the
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hosts of the view sick, she should have done what always works for me, show them any clip from the view. which means it's time for three jokes about the view! i understand why the view doesn't want to share a toothbrush but there's still one brush that's perfect for every mouth on the view. [laughter] [applause] the only brush the view shares is for joy's back hair. but really, the view hates the idea of sharing anything that goes into their mouths, especially doughnuts. that's your three jokes. kat? you have your own toothbrush, don't you? >> now i do. i don't think this is that gross. me and cheese dad shared a toothbrush for a whole semester
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in college, we lived nearby a creek. >> greg: is that what you people call a creek? >> disgusting people. it's college, you're throwing up a lot more so it's gross but you know what? i'm fine. >> greg: sure you are, keep telling yourself that you psychopath. rob, this is what grosses out the view when you consider all the topics they embrace, politically, socially, this is what made them sick. >> it's crazy, there are some black republicans, i guess. it's -- i'm so -- i don't have a funny bit. sarah silverman, your grossing out the guy talking about sharing a toothbrush your boyfriend. >> greg: what is more gross? doing black face, sharing a
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toothbrush, or dating jimmy kimmel? she's done all three. >> oh, god. >> i'm 0 for 3, i'm proud of that. i think this is the first time i have ever totally agreed with the initial reaction of joy behar to anything or she goes gross, i'm like finally, you're correct about something. i get to the argument is it you share food with your partner, you kiss, why would it be super strange to share a toothbrush? it's so unnecessary. >> greg: it's not like a car we can only afford one car. they give toothbrush as away for free if you fly in business class. it comes in a package come i don't know if you notice that a package with a zipper, you take it out, a toothbrush -- my point being is that they are cheap. unlike automobiles, tyrus. >> am i discussing the price of automobiles? listen, as a guy who never gets to keep anything of his own, i
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couldn't be more violated. not at the fact that they are sharing a toothbrush because i'm pretty sure it was his when it started. >> that's what happens. [laughter] >> on my team i'm never team captain and we never get to keep anything, they still your favorite shirt, they threw out your favorite shoes and apparently they still your hygiene products. she probably makes him pee sitting down too. >> greg: you mean there's another way? >> not for you. >> greg: i say you can always share my toothbrush as long as there just using it in your mouth, that's what i say. up next, is hiding your true identity bringing your workplace serenity? to walk on the beach. i have two daughters
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out-of-state corporations wrote
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an online sports betting plan they call "solutions for the homeless". really? the corporations take 90 percent of the profits. and using loopholes they wrote, they'd take even more. the corporations' own promotional costs, like free bets, taken from the homeless funds. and they'd get a refund on their $100 million license fee, taken from homeless funds, too. these guys didn't write a plan for the homeless. they wrote it for themselves.
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>> greg: we keep secrets from bosses, is this surprising? >> no, you want to stay employed. here at fox i'm exclusive the fox news i can't appear on other networks but i'm revealing my secrets, i've been appearing on secretly on cnn but no one has watched.
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[laughter] i'm getting away with it. >> greg: rob, as a strong outgoing mail, are you keeping any secrets from us? >> i'm not. i use to produce for fox business i kept the secret that i was black for a really, really long time. >> you wore white face to work? >> i wore white face to work. people keep secrets in the workplace because they don't want people to feel uncomfortable, they want to make everybody else feel comfortable. true story i used to produce for a lot of these mainstream outlets and i kept my conservatism a secret because you get fired, you get ostracized, it's a thing. >> greg: that's the ultimate secret is being a righty -- as i can attest, tyrus. people shouldn't know about your personal life, right? >> i would wish but my boss,
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that's all he does is invade our personal life. it's not so much you but detectives and random google searches and stop and buy in an office and want to look through your phone. other than that i think business is business, you shouldn't tell too much, they shouldn't know your every thought and desire because that's a good way to end up in hr. >> greg: you know what's funny? the person who was most mysterious at work is the person you think about, what does that person to when they go home? >> i don't know, reading this study i learned to be like -- >> greg: we know too much about you. >> there's nothing you don't know about me, there's plenty of stuff -- i'm trying to say i'm sorry. >> greg: it's true come apparently it's too late, my brain is stained. nobody knows anything about me, i keep myself pretty tight-lipped.
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>> what? >> greg: until the weekend. >> until the first glass of wine. >> greg: you know what? we'll b]es
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>> greg: out of time. thanks to rob smith, tyrus, kat timpf, and i love you, america! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ >> shannon: hello, welcome to "fox news @ night," i'm shannon bream and washington. ♪ ♪ breaking tonight, the baby formula shortage has parents across america at a breaking point tonight. lawmakers demanding the president to take action in one florida congresswoman claiming it is hard to find baby formula to immigrants at the border. the


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