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tv   Gutfeld  FOX News  May 23, 2022 8:00pm-9:00pm PDT

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>> she really was the most competent person and the biden administration and now she is gone so all could break loose forget the dvr. order your freedom matters gear on laura thanks for watching "gutfeld" and the crew next. >> greg: happy monday, everyone. i hope you had a glorious weekend. i was in salt lake city, utah. fantastic people pure here's my friends having a typical saturday night out two.
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♪♪ that look like jason chave it's. speaking of lazy. lazy river. the sites of president biden's numbers are looking up. as you are looking up for my bottomless pit in. say hello two ted kennedy. according to cbs news poll, mos americans believe things are going badly under distracted an incompetent biden. nearly eight in ten say some things are going very badly. now bring up harrison, getting your face getting eaten by a chimp gets better reviews pierc science, speaking of chimps, we've got a new concern it is
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called monkeypox. it is kind of gross, actually pit according to the world health organization of this disease is being spread by at raves in europe. so just be safe, no raves for me . in europe. definitely no mac with monkeys at least for two weeks. you've got the flat the met curve and it is shaped like a banana. get it out of my system. were going to be covering a lot of monkeypox. is not spreading here, i think. >> this whole monkeypox virus i completely overblown. here one at the lab is for -- perfectly fine. no plot.
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back to the polls here nearly 50 % think the economy is fairly or very bad and 56 disapprove how biden is doing his job if the election were held today he would be in bed at noon. alright, fair enough, you didn' laugh. it's okay. that is an hour earlier than normal. 65% say that one important things come up, biden is slow t act unless it is a stock tip from hunter. 40% of democrats feel the same way. we aspect president biden if we thought he was slow to act and he replied thursday, which wasn't answer to a question fro two weeks ago 35% believe biden addresses problems right away when did he buy those people? it never gets old. when asked to describe their
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feelings about the state of the country, most people use brazen like uneasy or worrying. it's also frustrating, which is how, harris describes reading. oddly 11% say the state of the country was calm and another 7% said inspiring. inspiring, are you kidding me. who are these people! there is something deceptive going on here. invited us looked at, especiall when you look at the major crises like inflation, crime, the border, baby formula, davidson embarking on a film career appears he's going to help you move apartments but shows up after the work is done just to eat the free pizza. in biden's america nobody would end up getting pizza because th delivery driver would be hijacked and shot on the way. nowhere to be seen, except when
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it is too late to do wonder wha joe has got to say. >> no, no. you don't think that i've done this before? you want to talk tough with joe? this is not my first rodeo. i've been on this dance floor before. you put your right foot and, yo put your left foot in, you put your right foot in and you shak it all about you do the hokey pokey. come on, man, that is what it i all about. [applause] we ask that you save the applause until all the awards are given being slow to act, is that the case all the time? joe thinks he. >> fast when it serves its own agenda. he unleashed a moment he took office if you bought gas or insolent recently, you do, but that was the point appeared his election wasn't about doing something, but undoing something
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, erasing the previous four years as quickly as possible. or his presidency has been like an episode of flip this house appeared the demo of the kitche is way easier than building a new one, only he didn't replace the kitchen with anything at al except for the corn pops story and he showed him there's other places where he acted with lightning speed, cutie -- accusing the border patrol agents and they didn't even wai for the fact before he speared him. he called him a white supremacist and it turns out th only thing joe should be president of is cnn. think about opportunity where h could buy the country and labeled them racist, he acts fast, depending on what hunter has with him. so when we say that biden is th slow walking disaster, we only wish that was the case he actually does bad things superfast. one minute he is a john and the next he is flesh eating bacteria
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. he was able to destroy a countr that was doing just fine when h turn over -- took over in just months. he replacement getting us in -- domestically he's a double-barreled disaster the emptiness is until by an opportunistic adventure here he's like a newborn child adopted by the manson family. he isn't merely a president, he has a host, a host to a parasitic disease that infected his party and our institutions, so we've got to localize his infection and forget monkeypox joe is the monkey. if he invites you to a rave, don't go. [applause] >> let's welcome tonight's guests. it might poke your eye out just by looking at her, the author o the new book here's the deal kelly and conway.
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he's even small -- smart smarter than his accent makes it sound douglas murray. he is so -- a mechanical bull tries to writ him. and finally and for catnip, she is so southern she sweats moonshine, dagen mcdowell. congratulations on the book. >> it's a door stopper. >> head it is, and a door stopper just like your outfit today. you are like a shiny penny if i was worth something i am not in the book, but that is okay. >> you are in the family pictur pierce surprise. >> do you think would when you look at what is going on right now, do you think that this would have happen so quickly? >> no, not unless time that has
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two have a baby. >> joe biden, how low can you go , joe, has been the pulling case for his presidency and there's many ways to look at these poles and come up with th conclusion that. >> america actually looks past him now because he hasn't done course correction and suburban women are upset, many of the 2020 boaters are not skeptical and they won't even admit to pollsters that they voted for them and he is only a degree hire than his vice president to crime not disappointed that the democratic party for all of the claims about youth that energy and freedom in the future is being run by an old angry white man. >> that the irony of the whole thing. you being british, as always, it's like an antique -- >> shannon: finally you are here in a real country.
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>> oh, come on. >> shannon: -- >> greg: our furniture is like -- i lived inside a tree. i'm a keebler elf. is that a testament to the us that we can endure incompetent leadership? it's almost like the best and i was thinking about this the other day. the founders created a self driving because in whoever's in the front seed generally can't describe it step joe invited a bunch of children to the driver seed and that is what we are dealing well -- dealing with. >> i want to speak for thousand 7% say they are inspired. where did you get those people? 7% of those think i can't wait for tomorrow. it's so great, i can't wait for the next --
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it is so good. >> i don't know where these people are from. >> in every population there ar unsafe people and they take the polls. >> half you ever penned bone by a pollster? >> i don't think that i've had phone call period. generally people don't call me. i don't have very many friends but i have learned to live with that. i like to consider myself a loner, a recluse and i collect lot of things. >> you could up a phone call if i had your number. >> not all friends and family, it just doesn't. before don't you think that the big problems don't bother him because he is so old and he's like how much time do i have left. he doesn't think about us. he has to think about going hom to eat jell-o. >> i think it sounds dismissive at -- choice adjectives are absolutel correct, old and angry. the american people can forgive many things i think they can
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forgive some of their quality o life that they've given up in terms of inflation and crime bu they can't forgive the kind of incompetence they see on the podium on a weekly basis and that when you combine that -- and reminds me of my 80-year-ol grandpa, he's not in control an he's not going to be bossed around. >> greg: we love our grandfathers eating tapioca pudding. >> i think his reaction is to b aggressive and angry in those moments when he can show some independence, it is i will not do that and then he comes acros as angry and that anger is also unappealing when combined with incompetence before he goes for dramatic effect and it comes across as bizarre. it is like road rage. , love feels very good and then everybody is staring at you, especially when you don't even have a car on the road.
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you know, there were some peopl in the media that complained that joe is doing a great job b every metric. what do you think -- what metric do you think he is doing? >> the only metric i can think of the is he is good at maybe making people feel sorry for hi the only possible strategy at this point could be being so pitiful that he is doing that the kat people to cut him some slack. you leave him alone. he thinks elon musk is his wife's perfume. i can tell you that doing this does not work. i was working this angle in hig school trying to get boys to suck face with me just out up your pity and it doesn't work. i disagree with you, the american people carry a grudge
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just like i do. i have got a chainsaw with this guy's name on the side of it dunked me when i was in my 20s . >> what was his name? >> i'm not telling. >> i have to say this, i worry about what she just said i thin there's too many people talking about joe biden's deficits as i present a secret sympathy for him. i think that barack obama is really running the white house at i feel better. to create sympathy for joe bide is to excuse him and i think this man should be made to eat every policy that he has hoiste on our shoulders otherwise we are is excusing his conduct. you look at the polls and he doesn't do anything well at thi point. they had covid for a while and it's a joke since trump left an he's been facing three variants. in spite of at i think that policy is not telling people what they can already see it's
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reminding them that they can't see and everybody can see this man is failing. everybody can see a vice president who has at the most inopportune times really can't speak well and people don't hav confidence in him. i wouldn't mind people -- with the keystone pipeline god fed the chaos at the border and the drug deaths and kids being taught to hate america and each other picked it goes on and on. >> and just be the fact that we make fun of a fact that he's empty vessel and we forget what is being placed inside the vessel which is a lot of this woke ideology. we got to move on. hillary's campaign manager testifies. if you would like to get ticket to "gutfeld", go to /got failed. this is the sound of nature breathing.
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we are back. hillary planted a tale of collusion and that is no right wing dilution. now no one can refute russia gate came from a tent and a pantsuit. her that did approve a plan to plant the alt brushing collusio claim back in 2016 and the pres grabbed like it was one of bill's cigars and happily place it in their humidor. and that is according to the testimony of her former campaig manager who should now avoid jail with malfunctioning cameras . he's a witness in the trial of the -- he testified that the campaign was confident that the leak between trump and the russian bank was real but he gave it to
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a reporter to run it down further. the press never confirmed the elevations but ran with it anyway. it made them wetter think kevin spacey at wrestling camp. apparently they swim a lot. tons of outlets eat it up, thought government illegally spied on an opposition candidat and the president was distracte by threes and accusations for most of its term it all got green lit from the top. a former cia officer testified he told the agency was not representing the client when he pushed the claims so we told th ca he was not working for the clinton campaign even after the meeting -- he should have used the private e-mail server. likely the media is waking up t all of this. let's look at all the sussman
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trial coverage so far. he needs a manicure there. what do you make up this quack not you, you crazy animal picke you think some people care? it's been a couple years or hav they forgotten? what i think the problem is tha there is a massive amount of confusion around this because o all the names and strings that up and tied together. here is what does that for me. the american people need to understand that we are to vain for this information that set about president donald trump. the infamous steal .ca for some of the most serious accusations that he was forced to depend fo years and the alphabetic excavation manufactured data that showed a connection to a supposedly russian bank.
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we now know that both were created from people representin hillary clinton. it gets simple once you consolidate the names. everything that we learn for three years was false. it shows you how the media can control the news they bury the hunter thing and they play this up and the person behind this was almost our future disinformation czar and she was tweeting this out. the american people do care because they know at the bottom of it all come along with hillary clinton would be that there are to guest tricks campaign ever as part of a presidential election and it created chaos for donald trump and all the people working with him and by extension the american people and then the divisiveness that was fomented by the media was front-end center. you didn't need to be on twitte to see it or even watch
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television but i love the fact that she was not confident enough to run as a woman and ge elected to the presidency that she had to orchestrate this dirty tricks campaign and she still lost i love that. >> but she could come back. would you be thrilled for her t return? >> i'm sure that you are shocke like i am by the revelations in the clinton campaign. there's never been a sign that -- there's never been any sign tha -- i'm just shocked really shocked. it worked because they realize that they could keep trump completely busy with the stuff and worry about it later and no later, does anybody really care
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at this point. >> this is in a courtroom on th record under oath this is not a conspiracy. i think that hillary should hav gone back to wisconsin and michigan and things would've been different for her. she's always insecure, 62% of americans said she was neither honest or trustworthy and they knew that. you have no exclamation point o your book. does this end with the campaign they didn't stand down, they accelerated that. what is on trial for his thing she was doing in february 2017 after trump was inaugurated and we were told -- they were trying to delegitimiz
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the president of the united states and someone should pay for that i know that people are under oath and they are finally squealing. >> they wasted america's time for four years they wasted our time. >> think about covid of the fac that we were delayed when covid was -- nobody could talk about russia domestically because the democrats made it for policy issue and they didn't even at the chance to do a basic thing as maybe they lost because thei candidate was not that likable. it is true. and you are seeing this. russia did invade ukraine but this made it way harder with what is going on a for therapy or footwear the connections two ukraine and now that we are in another cold war -- anytime somebody set russia, they said, oh, russian collusion .
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here we are. when dave chapelle what on stag without warning, whiny activist act like they are in morning. on friday, dave chapelle made a surprise opening appearance in columbus, ohio. fans had the luck of their phones so no video exists for w do have this artist interpretation. chapelle referenced the attack at the hollywood ball with a knife inside -- to tell a joke that the gun identified as a knife, which is apparently code for i hate trains and people, idiots without a sense of humor on twitter. i will repeat them all because they all sound the same. they gave dave chapelle the platform to make some trans phobic jokes. >> the hope he recovers from this random attack on his funnybone.
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his alleged attacker spoke exclusively to the new york pos telling them that he was triggered by his jokes about th lgbt community and homelessness. the outrage from the woke polic to give a mentally ill person cover and also his dependence. he said that chapelle should be more sensitive when it comes to his jokes and maybe run the -- run them by people they might offend first part and perhaps isaiah should run by his perspective murdered by someone first. i'm not sure which one is more ironic, a man with a fake gun o a bisexual who should be in a straitjacket. a little play on words very little, ductless. he study present bisexual. did i not leave that and there? no wonder that thing didn't land . if it happens again i can also provide -- 's before we will go back and editing and drop it in.
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by the time this heirs, i will be a passed out, ductless. isn't it funny that people have lost their idea in comedy? >> if they can't stand the comedian live on stage or shoot them or run at them and get the completely canceled, it's disappointing when you make jokes that are not funny and everything that i thought befor i think that this just rubs me the wrong way. all of the least funny people feel that they are like experts i'm telling you if you don't tell the jokes that i want, i'm going to boycott again. >> you don't even actually buy the tickets. and i think we should be allowe to criticize their concerns, kellyanne. >> i also read that this man said you should try your jokes
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out ahead of time among people who may be offended which, of course, is that what comedy is meant to be. there's a reason why this numbe does this guy has the number on show when it's because he is a funny comedian. >> greg: here's the deal, i'm in a few pictures. i am wearing a mask so you can' tell. no dagen, you are a fan of chapelle. most people would be so happy you get a surprise 15 minutes set with david chapelle who was way funnier than most i was expecting sense of comedy. oh, the vapors. >> one of the people on twitter used ambush. before the guy who literally ambushed on stage and they are
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saying i was ambushed by that joke. expects here are some of vice for all those people come if yo are a sourpuss whose easily chapped, stay-at-home. dramas -- >> yell at your tv and air your grievances on twitter. why pay to go to a comedy show if you are a humorless goat. >> greg: there is a preface to that. just to show you that it was a slow news weekend, you know, if there were some real news, we would've done that. it's easy pick if you go on twitter intact is the point tha you are, people like me will do the story. i'm the problem. that's why these guys have to stay at home. they've continued the culture for several years. the kind of things that is attacker set were un-
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distinguishable from things you hear on college campuses and that of taken over the mindset of our business. disguise a symbol of generations . you see what he brought the knife, he said it was the minor celebrity. >> greg: over fruit, really. >> an extrovert, that's for protection. before i will stab you. he also said that he was inspired by the will smith's la so he's using that as a defense pick i think the lawyer is telling him to say i'm bisexual i was triggered by this as a joke and now i saw it i think the lawyer is saying this is your way out and he probably will succeed. we've got to move on. so much more ahead. coming up new poll gets a bump in a matchup with trump ♪ ♪
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straw, i don't even know why i left that in there. and florida governor i had of donald trump is the gop front runner in 2024. we will note the minute he's taken seriously when they label him a white supremacist. conducted over the weekend at the wisconsin republican convention, attendees were aske to choose between thousands of potential candidates for president as well as a variety of homegrown cheeses 38% of voters chose desantis as oppose to trump. this is just one of many recent polls echoing a broader sentiment that governor desanti property d-letter is growing faster than ductless marie's biceps. did i not tell you the blood would work? if trump decides to run again,
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he might have its work cut out for him at the republican primary, but before we try any conclusions, the pole comprised of three to 25 people that's smaller than other straw polls but larger than the audience fo the daily show. kellyanne, this is interesting i'm not going to tell you what think. i want to know what you think about this. >> i think that ron desantis ha been an excellent governor of florida and he has made nationa news on many number of fronts. i was there one president trump was campaigning for rondo's and any help them in the primary an we almost had andrew guillen wh came up, governor of florida. and, look, i think that results produce consequences and that i why there is a buzzer from governor desantis. he has raised $100 billion. on the straw poll i think that people like to make a big deal out of trump's endorsement.
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325 people were at my wedding. >> greg: i wasn't invited. expects better luck next time. how did beaufort do the pole? i think -- he would love to run in 2024 fo two make recent. number one, there's so much unfinished business that he wanted to tap into intern numbe running this country on spite. he sees like we all do that people are hurting the infants can't get a b formula and peopl are dying of drug overdoses. food and is in ukraine. it just all went to. >> i don't know that --
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the donors are very hot dog desantis pickett by world brand is that that this, i would say please quit saying my name. >> greg: you know there was research about a lot of airline disasters and south korea and i was because of the assistant captain, the copilot wouldn't say when they made a mistake so they switch them and they made the copilot the pilots of the person with more seniority was the copilot who would tell the other guy what to do. my theory is wouldn't it be great if dissent is food run with trump as vp. mind blowing, right. >> that's what you're saying about self driving cars. i don't understand you,. back. >> you have a guy who has been there who says this is what you should do. is like he has this protégé.
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>> trump is the leader of the america first movement and we don't think of him as a number 2 . >> trump would like to be vice president, do you really think that? you really see a situation wher he is like i put like to replace , let harris. >> greg: how much fun with trump as vp be. >> oh, sure. hilarious. he would do whatever he wants. he would be great let's trade l ebron james for super bowl players for 50 bucks. fantasy politics please. so you think it's a idea. >> i just don't understand the logic. before. >> greg: don't expect logic from me. >> address but i just said, translate. tell me what i meant sap respects you said what you mean to say. it is just wrong.
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>> these are bad reviews on you banned list. expects it doesn't need to be that of the pep or just do whatever he wants. he was the president and did whatever he wants. i find the pole a big old sneeze . we've got to .5 years left of joe biden and it is like gettin everybody's hopes up. 's before we are not even halfway through this miss we have to claw our way through this. that struck a nerve. either that of the cafeteria food we fed them finally hit them. >> trump is vice president idea is the worst thing to focus on. >> greg: was trying to make this interesting, guys. >> president trump is the leade of the america first movement. and it is fascinated fascinatin that we are sitting here
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debating two of the strong politicians on the right and yo can't find one, and that's not partisanship, that's a fact, yo can't find one on the left. >> greg: here is my next theory, america's second. you could help the other countr like, i don't know -- keep going. canada first, america's second. winner. thank you. i think i found it. up next, the american pathogen has a saying, here we go again.
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a story in five words. we're short on time so here's a story in five ports, monkeypox, it's a real thing. i just think that the disease i likely spread through central transmission among men in parts of europe. so i'm thinking that raves has changed. i've found raised and i've neve seen any there. are you worried? >> i'm not fair there. >> i'm not worried.
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if there's anyone i know who should be, i fret that diagnostics and i thought i should call my friend greg. they have the contact list of everybody and i picked up the phone and all i heard was screaming and i'm like, oh, my gosh. how did he get my number and when did he get imposable thumbs . this is a story that i fear "fo & friends" is ignoring. it's "fox & friends", not monkeys and friends. >> that has an edge to it i'm sorry. but "fox & friends" is a g. we are all over this public service announcement. be aware if you're going to rav in belgium, you are at risk. this is a family-friendly show. >> "fox & friends", it's up early enough for the meth heads.
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the rave isn't over so they com in and they get to the beat segment. >> never on european time. >> exactly. exactly. dagen, you've been doing a lot of research on your own time about monkeypox. you care to share a? >> art those general works or monkeypox. >> they are very warty. and if you have the smallpox vaccine, then you are pretty much say. i stopped dating monkey zero se goal. expects i'm using this to rationalize my inducer life tha i'm sitting at home covered in dog hair with my two dogs watching mr. mom feeling very overconfident well i'm not goin to get monkeypox. i hate to tell you but that chair you are sitting in.
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>> i shouldn't be rubbing up audit. >> there is a reason why kat is out tonight. i hope she's not watching. kellyanne, president biden said this is something we should be concerned about. like everybody is going to get monkeypox. >> i always shrug my shoulder when he says something. >> 's monkeypox one word? >> i don't know. why does that sound fun? >> let's go play monkeypox. it sounds like a really fun game . >> after the last segment i thought i should have seeded my chair to a monkey because i'm really out of my realm here. >> are you inferring that me an monkeypox are quite similar? >> i'm amazed that you can take this five word store and make i a five minute segment, that's all. >> greg: this is going into
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the next hour. we could do a whole hour. >> by the way, it is so joe biden say we need to worry abou this and that's a thousand othe things that are bothering people . this a ministration could be summed up by telling americans don't believe what i -- don't believe you see, believe what i say. >> get monkeypox on his house. did you see what i did right there? that was much more clever than the analogies earlier. >> thank you. thank you my batting average with douglas has been very low. instead of enjoying the show, h just criticizes my analogy. they don't have good food over there. >> monkeypox r told him the whole. it is actually food. that is exactly how you get it. don't go away. we will be right back.
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we are out of time. things to the great kellyanne conway, dagen mcdowell, our studio audience. shannon bream is next. i'm greg gutfeld. i love you, america. welcome to fox news that night. time shannon bream in washington . breaking tonight, and exclusive report from her southern border about a suspected terrorist to crest into the us illegally it was captured by agents and released. why it took weeks for the fbi t fly kim and track him down. we have all the breaking details . nancy pelosi spotted taking community in the nation's


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