tv Gutfeld FOX News May 26, 2022 8:00pm-9:00pm PDT
her husband died of a heart attack i truly believe that joy died of a broken heart, her cousin roper the couple leaves behind four children. rest in peace. you will not be forgotten. pray for that family, all the families and for healing across this land it is america now and forever greg gutfeld takes it from here. >> greg: you look fantastic and mash. happy thursday, everyone. i often wake up to the same thing every morning. larry kudlow asking me if he ca use my toothbrush. i said yes. i also wake up to a question in my brain, whose apartment is
this where are my pants but als just does politics make people are you people talk politics. is the really the chicken at a question. nobody wants to feet, nancy or joe or beto for breakfast. first there is beto, an unemployed and unemployed caree politician, he had up press conference -- a day after that texas for shooting him only to grandstand for political reasons this guy is the political in speak of full pot combined. >> sit down. you are out of line. you are doing nothing. your offering nothing. this is totally predictable. you are out of line. sir, you are out of line. or sir, you are out of line.
>> you see, beta -- data was freeloader. he could have been a personal injury lawyer but he lacked integrity. he saw a horrible event and sai how can i benefit from this as you know, he's running for governor of texas after failing that before. and feeling a bunch of things including his friday test. the only thing doesn't fail at is making an of himself. so yesterday he puts on his hello kitty backpack and jumps on a skateboard and it goes to place we can make himself the center of attention. he is the essential opportunist. rather than do hard work he finds ways for others to do the work for him. he gives tom sawyer a bad name, like when he married a rich lad so we didn't have to get a real job.
he worked for john kerry. it begs the question why didn't i think of that. then here is our friend who couldn't read a room if it was book called a room. that's an improvement. amid the crime wave what does h do? he pushes the police reform bil because it happened to be the anniversary of george boyd's depth. kids continue to be killed in places like chicago. you might call him tone deaf bu he wouldn't hear you. but the media and the democrats don't give a bleep about other crime he signed an executive order because america once agai threatens for a violent summer. he couldn't let the anniversary go to waste. he says nothing about the aftereffects of floyd, being th
rioting picks it's like commemorating hurricane katrina without mentioning the destruction it did after. at because joe's got almost almost no working memory left. by falsely claiming that republicans put any reform on policing. he's lying intentionally or he refuses to take his prevention. >> the house passed a strong bill and it failed in the senate . were our republican colleagues opposed any meaningful reform for democrats, tim's got a blac republican -- >> in 2015 up to the shooting o walter scott i wrote a failed t find body cameras and after the depth of rhianna taylor and joe -- george floyd, i build a bigger police proposal but my democratic colleagues blocked at
. i offered amendments but democrats use the filibuster to block it from even happening. >> imagining listening to scott we met a unified country with low crime in high spirits. but they didn't want that. they didn't because i didn't want republicans to lead the way . the democrats are like the drun guy at the party who insists he doesn't need a ride home and ends up crashing. it's not about a solution come it's about making sure that the republicans don't have any part in it so they will take their misery over any reform. >> we need to reform. reform not deform. the squad girls said defined. we are not going to define, we are going to refund. we are going to reset or redo. do, do, do, do. knock it off.
>> greg: of course. [applause] the reason why he did this executive order is due to a narrative that's come apart at the seams. we are told by democrats the police were overwhelmingly targeting black males and what was the criminals they let out there for doing most of the targeting and data shows that that they use legal force against blacks and white suspects. the professor behind the study was canceled faster than his credit card. i can't help but. i am a. that's not to say the cops are in the right all the time in front happened floyd wasn't wrong but when you look at the billions in damages and lives lost her for this commit is beyond belief that anybody thin pushing this was worth except for the democratic party was on
election and their grasp here now we have? violent crimes increased from 5- 40% compared to the same time frame in 2021. and it's the murder surge that disproportionately affects blac victims. barack obama's attempts to link this miss shooting in texas to george floyd's murder but -- are as unrelated as woody allen and rona pharaoh. that's a good one. how does making that connection help? it doesn't. how does that lead to unity? it doesn't. it is political symbolism. the democrats are really good a it. you can say they inventive it i the only thing that they could invent. they suck at everything else, especially uniting a country. [applause] welcome tonight's cast. she loves america so much, uncl sam i'll the restraining order
morgan ortega. he is our go to guy as a going to buy -- jimmy fail appear -- she is like buying china, can't be put in the dishwasher. we tried. fox news contributor kat timpf. and his knuckles there which is bigger than a party sub. world television champion tyrus. [applause] jimmy, you have outdid yourself outdone. you've even ruined the way that i use verbs pick is like a monkey throughout by new. shards of mucus and banana.
and with your hair -- >> that is what came out of my nose after sinus surgery. expect this is where all the baby formula went. so his name is robert francis but we call him beto. what you call him? that video, you watch a venue go , hey, this guy is [bleep]. if you go way to go, beto, that's it right there. there's nothing i hate more tha self-promotion. i was having this conversation today, i saw that coming. there are so many jokes to be made about beto rourke, but do you know how disrespectful that was. there are parents in that room that literally paused their kid and he had shown up to make it about him. it is not a roundtable discussion of how to solve the problem. it is hay, grieving people come
here is what we know and here's how we cope and he shows up and like look at me. it was pathetic but was nice to see him get sent home by somebody other than the voters. is just the worst one ever. i always say this, he is like the -- you've got to listen to mumford and sons. and then you turned it on of us like why does he read one and that is beto. >> i'm so proud that he turned 30 paper towels into a jacket. expect you think it was bad timing to do this in commemoration exactly two years to the day? >> of course it was bad timing and it was bad politics. everything about it was bad pic the one thing that i like about the beto or rourke thing, sometimes when people do this, we fall for the bait. i wish that abbott would've sai
please come up and let's hear what you have to say when someone crashes on their whole purpose is to crash, you can't fall for it. get out of here. then he wins pick the next time something like that happens lik if someone were to crash, pleas take the floor, i can't wait t hear this solution he would've had nothing to say. and that after a few minutes of standing there he would've spewed offs some words and then made the adults now continue. we are talking about at. and you know how i feel about barack obama. you could never bring that together it was grossly irresponsible. the children deserve their own tweet on their own moment. nothing comes in between that. unfortunately we are going to have a summer of more retirements, less policing because you took everything out
of what mr. scott did you only put in the bad things anyone reads it, it was a bad day for policeman yesterday. it was a bad day for americans yesterday and our politicians did nothing to help them. >> o, morgan, you just got bac from ukraine. how was that? >> the past few days here, i wa on the plane on the way back i got the notification that there was a mass shooting at an elementary school and i was wit orphans in ukraine that had bee rescued by a national group actually and i spent the few emotional days trying to hug these orphans. and i saw that that notificatio on my phone and i just turned m phone off and i thought i just can't. i knew it was going to be horrible and devastating. so it's this attempt thing to back to. you just look and know that no one is even going to offer real solutions. it is like politics the moment
after it happens. >> i think happens is there is no desire to do anything unless there is some political point t be gained. there are actually solutions. and whether it is mass shooting are just rampant ongoing crime, there is stuff that you can do. you know, now it is just about -- >> you set up best on the five. sometimes we just need to shot up i say that one geraldo was on . almost all the time. but it is that we come it is you . hey, punk. >> greg: are you glad that biden pushed it? >> there certain things that i like. i think they still haven't addressed things like haven't been addressed like unconstitutional drug laws in those sort of things. i also like the beto video.
i liked it because it proved to me that i am not as selfish as thought i was i would never do that. >> greg: i bet you get dated guys like that in college. >> no, actually like what? >> unemployed. >> greg: possibly a bass player. >> never a bass player. that's worse. also you just picture, like he practice that. that's crazy to watch to think about him on the way there and he definitely practiced in fron of the mirror. >> needs to start practicing in front of people so someone can go no. >> at some point along the way, maybe he should've thought i shouldn't do this. >> greg: that's a terrible position to be in because he asked to run for office or get
is not even the happiest place in florida. you know what it's getting bad when people would rather visit bass pro. there and great parts of town. disney world now has the force reputation then parts. and any idiot could tell you that it's because mickey couldn't keep his nose out of the educational laws. reactions from customers for chilly year then -- its true pick that is because people don't go to disney world to be lectured. they go there for the $25 hotdogs. now full disclosure, fox corporation frank 96, but that' likely because we still employ this man. but fox did move up three spots from last year, probably becaus of this man. that's how you self promote.
's reputation went up 16 points from 38 the 22nd. this after telling bochum place that they can the end they were offended by content like dave chapelle's even the most universally loved things could be at risk. >> sunshine, ice cream, and teddy bears. get your free ice cream and teddy bears here. hello, young man pick. >> that sounds delightful. three of my favorite things. what about sunshine? >> may be yes all the animals that we put sunscreen on. it with this awful woman picks. >> are marketing department showed that it sells itself. >> it will probably give you plus -- >> is this? >> don't worry about it. how about a free teddy bear.
>> the personification of bears makes it think it's cool to be carnivore. the odds of getting attacked by a bear in yellowstone are one and 2 million. >> that doesn't sound like a whole lot. >> i will just tell you that while we were doing that, we go a lot of looks. we had people fully stop on the streets and look and this is ne york. the point of this, kat, is that it is really easy to work for a company like disney or for ben jerry's, anything that you don' have to convince people to like. and yet they are convincing people to hate themselves, not themselves, their company. expects is truly wild think of
disney being the controversial company of the moment. everything has got politics and it pick for me and myself i've never done a boycott thing. even in real life, if you are mean to me i still might react. expects true story. you know, tyrus, i find it funn that you don't see this as an unappealing brand because they can't afford ex-lax. is it pushing transgender politics? it stays in its lane. >> give me one non-foul movemen company and i will gladly cance your query. you can't. >> greg: i can't you nailed it . >> i find it hilarious they should be a message to anyone who is considering film.
only though woke can do roller coaster some ice cream. the easiest thing in the world, you go to the amusement park an you go i'm never coming back because i say, hey, sir, this i fun. i got yelled at and given a lis of pronouns to call him. so i'm not going back to roller coasters and teacups. i want to have ice cream when i am sad and you make me sadder. so if you want to go woke, you're going to end up broke. they can't do -- they are the child that you kee trying to get everybody else to hire and you know they are just off. >> greg: morgan, what are your thoughts? >> with disd it's interesting because i think the winner around the nation, dad take going to disney. >> i also hate it and i am not
dad yet be expected to use to sing at disd world. >> i did did for a long time. >> greg: what did you saying? >> i would have died to be bell. >> greg: what were you? answer the question? >> i saying in a candlelight vigil at christmas time. it's more shows than you did. >> greg: you don't know what i'm going to do. >> the authorities do when you can't go back. >> greg: all got to do is hop off the boat in the pirates of the caribbean and nobody will find you. >> it's a small world. >> i don't need me to pile on but you can do everything at disney except ride the rides because of the height restriction.
i owed you that. before dogs are crazy they are picked like the big turkey legs. what is the point. this is just fat people on scooters. you don't even ride the rides. >> trying to convince themselve that they are little mice. expects it still crazy. the reason everybody is turning on it is because of what they said. they've been getting away with murder forever. if you're really concerned abou inclusion, don't charge 200 bucks to get in. there's more people kept out of the park by the promos. i went up turning tricks behind its space mountain. we should move on. i love how you had to work in your cab driving experience. how pathetic is that. i've got street cred.
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they said no more jokes about trent but ricky had other plans so cancel culture is building its case to ruin -- they were outraged over his new netflix standup special and so outraged outrageous that you would think that he was doing jimmy failla's material. critics are calling it anti- trans rants masquerading as jokes, meaning apparently they are slurs who identify. i just did that. women, oh, women, no, i mean, the old-fashioned one. i love the new women.
the ones with beards. what about this person isn't a lady. well, his. what if he me? what if she you. >> it sounds like his pronouns are no holy [bleep]. most are punching down at a marginalized community except wide does it take guts to make these jokes. is in it punching up when you need jokes about a protected class. it's almost as if netflix knew this was coming. they told employees to quit if they were offended by the content they released. let's see if they put their
money whether mouth is like whe i hear can't eat a bag of pennies. but he depends his jokes to the bbc and is meant to address taboo subjects but activists claim his words equaled equal violence, forgetting what we were all taught about sticks an stones. that their graves are covering up dead bodies. tyrus, i always maintain that when somebody is insulting you, they are complement you because the assumption as you are part of us now that we can make fun of you. expect expects you are part of the group. i think it is great that somebody, the level that he would do this like i am in it too. i don't think there is anything wrong when you're talking about your dating choices when it comes to women. i think if the site into organi women i prefer a fallopian tube and set up a swinging one.
and with that, i am in the game. come and get me. >> greg: that was a good one. >> if anyone steals a couple we will sue you with all the lawyers that we have. >> we have to kick somebody else's on podcast. who was that? butterfield. >> greg: shot up, both of you. isn't this joke a defense of feminism because what it is basically saying is that a man can grow his hair out and still keep his junk but you have to refer to him as a female, basically saying there is no inherent value in organic womanhood. at this all just who you choose to be. >> i think actually what the point of the joke was that, yes i can say this. if people didn't go so hard against people, like people can
get in huge trouble for using the wrong pronouns. he sees something like that and he is the type of guy that is going to go after that and a joke is a joke and i think there's a huge difference between having a joke about trans people and having a phobi of trans people. >> the joke tells her you don't have a phobia appeared. >> and even he had a disclaimer like i support trans people, they are human beings appeared these are jokes. he's the kind of guy and i thin that dave chapelle is the same way. you say you can't talk about this and they think they have two. >> greg: i am the same way. i am the real hero. no one thanks me for my service. jimmy, you can always tell on any show the people that i don' make fun of or the people i don't poke fun of. it's not worth it because you think they might be hurt and
they might complain. >> i'm going to cry one day. >> though woke attitude toward marginalized people is two and fantasize. don't make fun of black people, make fun of people. there's an old bank robber name billy sutton. it's a big deal. in a normal house it's like, bank robber in our house it's like, oh, amazing. you say why do you rob banks an he says that's where the money is. the reason you are making fun o trans people now because that i where the money has. are jobs comedians is not to leave the room, it is to lead the room. the idea that someone is giving birth through their is the most absurd thing in society right now.
having talked to a couple of guys who pass kidney stone, i can promise you it's not pleasant. a gallstone or a kidney stone? >> i'm going to go baby stone for the win. >> greg: we will check on that later with our gallstone, kidne stone referendum. >> i do actually. i'm going to be a little bit more simple than you pick you are all professional comedians. >> greg: we are? are you crazy? >> you are the king of late night. >> greg: well, that's true. morgan ortagus, throw in some red meat. i think that it that this on purpose. i think he saw dave chapelle an i think that he saw that it ble up and the ratings were huge. international news for a few
days. i don't know, your canadian, i' not i wouldn't have known that he was doing a netflix special if he didn't make that trans joke and if everyone was is an outrage. remember everyone 10-15 years ago you said something about th catholic church on that and tha catholic church would spin off. i think that is what we're doin with the trans joke. >> i will respectfully disagree. i think chapelle didn't get not started, he lost movies. he said i think i'm with you. it was more i got to stand up for something. >> and it forced netflix's hand. this didn't come until they saw that coming. >> you know what he's doing thi then netflix is getting it back if you realize there's been a sea change in society. nobody wants to be the on the side of the outraged miss gene. you're never going to be the party that says i can't -- that's not going to happen.
they all know that now. there was a while we didn't kno that because the guys that got offended got the floor. now it is over. 's before you know who changed for america? >> these guys. >> greg: the last time you're all in the audience. actually we are going to do wit this show all over again withou them. coming up, when lifeguards are in high demand, will you spend more time in the sand. we depend on each other a lot. she's the rock of the family. she's the person who holds everything together. it's a battle, you know. i'm going to be there. keytruda and chemotherapy meant treating my cancer with two different types of medicine. in a clinical trial, keytruda and chemotherapy was proven to help people live longer than chemotherapy alone. keytruda is used to treat more patients with advanced lung cancer than any other immunotherapy.
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>> greg: welcome back. this summer is looking grim for those who want to swim. according to the american lifeguard association, i love their trunks, there is a major shortage of lifeguards across the country picked it could purportedly prevent one third o the 309,000 public pools from opening this summer. that's 309,000 fewer places to
pep. the association blames the pandemic and cancellation of exchange visitor visas and donald trump. the job does demand physical training in first-aid and traum and expertise, all skills that are not easy to come by unless you are me. i used to be a lifeguard back a the day but they had to let me go because so many swimmers would pretend to drown so i would save them and give them cpr. but the joke was on them. i never learned cpr. so they all died i'm kidding. only the unattractive ones died. morgan, you are a navy reserve officer. i assume you have the skills to be a lifeguard. are you for the good in the pool
? >> i'm a diver. before you've got so many weird facts skills community like a treasure trove of things. >> swimming and diving. >> like from high places? >> i think that is the best way to do it. it's interesting. i can see it obviously but thes kids make about nine points hav been five or $10 an hour, some around that average pre-think a about $10,000 from the federal government so during the covid relief on so why would you go work for 9.75 an hour when you can get covid relief. >> you hit the nail on the head. you are a carpenter to. site didn't realize our lifeguards were imported from other countries and with you being a strong build a wall
person. >> why are you doing this to me. >> they are now taking on pool jobs. you and i both agree this has got to stop. >> i don't know why you would d this to me. it's a fun lighthearted segment about lifeguards and you like m to -- >> are you saying that you're okay with illegal lifeguarding? back i'm think that more people should have pieces that do have pieces. it will teach kids a very important lesson where if you want to have access to certain things like a pool, you have to work very hard to be friends with rich people. >> that is so true. so true. jimmy, when you go on the water are you often taken for seaweed? >> i was going to talk about going in the water specifically because this is one of the
stories were closing the public pool depends on what you weigh way. as the fat kid wearing the t-shirt, that would've been my super bowl. like the bullying i got at the public pool, like you've got, your fat. i'm like okay, mom. this is the problem, we got to bring back baywatch but in a non-body positive era pick know all this woman's suit issuers, ever but it looks like they are in the third trimester. they can't do they watch the same way anymore. >> they can't come up with all due respect. i'm saying that as a fat guy. i am -- >> the shame or what say. a shame or would say -- >> that's not a cheap shot that was extremely highbrow.
>> greg: tyrus, you actually have a lot of kids. this could be a problem for you. >> no, it is not because i can swim so i don't let my kids go by themselves to a pool. i recently had a party for my daughter and we had a lifeguard for about 40 minutes when the kids open presents and went out to the pool and then i saw this individual and i said can you swim. yeah. how are you going to do that with your phone in your hand pick they couldn't stop looking at the phone. the reason we have a shortage o lifeguards is because this next generation is at that level where it's 15 and 16-year-olds and they can't take electronics in the water picked they have t look on the app how to save somebody so you don't want this generation lifeguard. why don't you life cried out inside in the parking lot. >> that's a good idea. so i sent them away.
so we should bring in more lifeguards again who looks like the swim and be. >> its not easy to be an ocean lifeguard. all you have to do is this. >> its more than that but lifeguards used to be a job of pride. you fear the lifeguards. lifeguards could ruin your summer appeared roughhousing on the side and blew the whistle. even the guy in caddy shaq. he can dive been saved. he was aqua man. i was like aqua paella. >> greg: i was a pool monitor in a condo. >> i believe you where the hall monitor. >> you are monitoring. >> greg: he said their insurance didn't cover it. they said just sit there and if there's a problem you call. i wasn't there to observe and make sure they were following the rules. >> i didn't realize that they had a lifeguard in the little little end of the pool. >> greg: up next, if he lost his sixpack of women thinks tha
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build their tender profiles wit shirtless pictures are more promiscuous i thought of this that i thought of you, given th cover of your book. >> i needed the money. >> don't we all. it is okay. it was tasteful. morgan, i don't think that guys that get shirtless on any socia media are trying to find a lab partner. i think that they are okay bein bimbos. >> i think you are right. i think it's really interesting i was looking at your posts, th university of colorado, their psychology department funded a study and i was looking at up morgan gerald, joanna d-letter girl, they all funded-did this study. there so many things that you could be studying right now.
why do we have mass shooters. let's study shirtless men. >> greg: kat, why do young people think it and achievement to be physically appealing because that your age that is 90 % taken care of and the only remaining 10% is eating right and bathing. to me it is a red flag. it always has been because you look at somebody like that they are going to make you do fitnes activities on the weekend. i do not do activities. you only do chores. last word to you. your wife doesn't know about at. >> she knows. >> my wife and i met on tinder nine years after we got married. here is that piña colada.
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we are out of time. things to use morgan ortagus, jimmy failla, tyrus, and kat timpf. shannon bream is next. america, i love you. >> shannon: , hello and welcome to fox news. i'm shannon bream in new york. >> [indiscernible] at this time, no. there was not an officer readil available. i set up with that, yes. i will