tv Gutfeld FOX News September 3, 2022 1:00am-2:00am PDT
laura for letting me sit in her chair and the incredible angle crew, they are the hardest working groups of producers anywhere. prx hold it and sam fo all together. >> thereial they are.thanalisa, and special thanks to lisa. jessic a, roman , gabby, shannon, andrew and especially david cast to put together my gulf adventure. >> could not have done it without you ale donel. on thank you all for being i with me. i'm raymond arroyo, in for laura ingraham. gutfeld . >> nexr lat. getting weirder and weirder. >> crazy happy friday., my my friday friends. s so so that was some speech last night. am i right? am i think we have a clip.
amazing. it was so upbeat. at least he didn't say maga. >> republicans, maga republicans do not respect the constitution. maga forcerespect ths extreme mr republicans. the extreme magg ideology. magarytreme ma republicans are s republicans look at america and see carnage in darkness and despair. >> carnage, darkness and despair. but enough about liberal run cae cities. . that was easy. that was but imagine if you replaced maga republicans with china orn russia. then what a landmark speech in foreign policy this would be . it would be a call to armscall t against an evil empire. except hermse. empire who's the evil empire? it's us .it's i wonder, as he stands here
tonight, our equality, democractonight.y under assault. >> as i stand here tonight, equality and democracy are under assault. >> ad here tonight, democrac and by what a chuckle. buckett president who shakes hands with his imaginary friends and believes everynds a child's head is sacred and ae e child's head is sacred playground for his nose. >> i wonder if too much of what's happening in our country today is not normal. >> too much of what's happening in our country today is not normal. donald trump in the major republicans represent an extremism that threatens the very foundations of our republic. >> yet things aren't normal. >> soccer is still popular, and we have a deranged president channeling an exorcism. fficulties ] >> if his head spins, call dr. jill.
she's a chiropractor. yeah, i went to med school. >> o so did i . you yes, sir. did you, julie? okay, so the biggest threat to our democracy are trump' ts supporters. but like when larry kudlowers. showed me his pole dancing hen larry kudlow showed videosme, this is where it gets weird because i wonder if not every republican , not even a majority of republicans are maga republicans, not everylica republican , not evene a majority republicans aremaga magor republicans. republicans. not every republican not every republican embraces their extreme ideology. i know because i've been able to work with these mainstreams. republicans, dude, make upe up left of your what's left of your mind first . first, you say magg is thever, majoest threat ever, but, you know, it's really not evenu thin a majority when you think about it. t it.then, you dumb, why did yount decide to come into millions of
our living rooms last nighd t a and give a speech in front of a backdrop built by lucifer and his union buddies?d he makes sense.o it reminds me of when his idiot press secretary said thisn yo earlier when you asked me aboutt the mega agenda. >> ihe magat is one of the most extreme agendas that we have age seen. they are threateningndas we'l ve political violence and they are attacking our democracy. abou >> but then she says this. when we talk aboutemism, the extremism, we're talkingl pc about a very small piece, a component of of the american public. >> so, wow, it's good to know she was hired purely for hernce. competence, didn't take any so the boxes there. soy want they want you to be app threat, but they have noe evidence of it. perhaps thisfb is why the fbie admitted to padding the domestic violence extremist number xtremists. nd the they couldn't find the hate crimes, so they got to makeey hv them up. he beliee to, i bet he believes america is at an inflection
point. i believe america has haveica ii inflection point. a one of those moments that determine the shape of everything that's to come after . and now america must choose toro move forward or to move backwards. e we tol for a long time, we've told ourselves that americany is democracy is guaranteed, but it's not.e to >> we have to defend .it it seemed to just draw a line. line be careful, hunter.? be careful. hunter might sno snorted. >> butrt but again, he's drawing he' a line within america. he talks about rejecting violence and inflammatory language, but then leavesge but the country in tune with rhetoric. he lectures americansleaves on violence after hiding in hi s basement.like chris cuomo with covid during months of rioting. he's such a lame duck, heoi should avoid dick cheney. so what's the point here? here?
well, this speech was a political call to arms, a feeble distraction. that's trying to pit two groupsi against each other.t twgrou he's basically michael vick ps againstand we'r ee the pit bs with the . i don't know. i thought that time had passed. it was his it was his cousins, n man. i don't know.. i didn't follow this story.n't o i did. all right. at the same and at the same time, he's claiming he's unifying. but i've seen more people brought together by leprosy that i he doesn't just want toe be a wartime president . >> he wants toa rtim be a civil wartime president . >>ident. so funny, hilarious.. hilarious. but the only thing he has inh ll common with lincoln is they're both brain dead. t >>heboth brain but joe has a poa maybe there is a side in thiseye country that's a threat to democracy and they use anger
and violence. when they don't get what they want, they shut down they shut downch andfree speeche they get. they eliminate laws that ares ts supposed to protect citizens.fit they justify theft and vandalism and choose criminalvandism and chs rights . rights. they take the very agencies meant to protectthey tak and usm against us . those are all legit threats to agus.racy. they're all legit threats and it's not maga, ultra, maga or maga light with only c sixty five calories. al i remember reading about how i remember reading about how presidents in trouble might start warsts in trmigh, but no explained to below average joe that he's not supposedth to do it within our country. >> but the n again, after seeing how he did in kabul, you'd understand why he might want tou have a home game instead of insd going on the road. >> what say you, joe ? o theyeah, yeah, yeah.eah, >> look, look, i'm looking forward to the weekend. kend. i'm exhausted, but you got met. wrong. i didn't call anybody first. just i call them semi fascist.h. it's different it's lascist.
it's different. it's likike ife if hitler had ai dr. me, that guy, dr. evil, had little midget, one million dollarmidget. . i like that guy. he was he was funny. okay, yeah. semi fascist. semi fascist magor. but i don't know, i'm making i' this up as i go along. alon >> so good.g. so good and so antifa went from beingg i an idea to being his idea. he made a wartime speech for americans against americans. i meanthis, this idiot hadis the white house, senate, congress and get his strategy is debate red on blue violenceor for political benefit. but you can't fall for this. tak they want you to take the bait and you can't be like them.th that speech was supposed to be scary, like how my mom saidml if i kept making faces, they would freeze like that. >> no, that's talks. but the speech is more funny than scary.n scary. you can't forget that. and you can't forget that.y tru remember, after every trump ora
was always on speech, a rally, the media'sse hair was always on fire.in you could see the flaming scalps from space . meanwhile, people rioted and attacked trump supportertac that's what they want you to do here. they want you to set do your o hair on fire and you can'tfiu because your hair is beautiful h fun.ur life is too muc so sit back , giggle at their desperate distractions. come november, you novembe may last one .st one >> laughing very well.s -- tonight's gues t, hers new children's book comes f with a free bottle of scotch. fox news anchor and author off the new children's book, the owner's fantastiw c art that bought julie banderas. mark, he reminds of a guypo who sold pot outside the hight u school becausets he's still sels tht outside the high school.ch the comedian behind terrorizing
telemarketer's seven gins. d laurenti his name sounds like an extra in additive odyssey publisher and founder of plan man guy shepard. hi pretty good.s shadow and his shadow's been here since yesterday. my man said i ca sidn get the nw world television champion tirhas. hamp, tyrus. oh, so julie, first, before we n get to the story, congratulations on thisdibly incredibly large achievement writinlag, writing a children's book last the last the last attempts at relevant this guy.ue nothing going for you. for you, write a children's book. it's not write a children's book because it's not like they can tell if it's any good. >> i just for fun, you got to i
order this. >> it just get it up there amaz on amazon. on. it's on brainbox .com. brave >> well, amazon, not amazon. brave, brave books. >> .com couldn't get it o on amazon. no, it's you can actually you n can actually buy mine comps on amazon. u can't ge your children's book. m that's how bad this is . it okay, i'm joking. it's so good. it is so good to actually .it ws >> what did you make of that speech. it was hilarious. it was not goowas not d. yeah. s setheirst of all, let' the listfa of things that he failed to talk about. right. inflation, jobs, energy, crime the border crisis, crime, opioids and then an explanationi behind the devilish red background rightli. hocause i thought i was watching a horror film and in fact, it didrr inspire me becaue i love to decorate forhalighting halloween. and i was like, oh, red lighting. that's, that i eerie. i'm going to do that. so i'm blowing it out in october and i may actually in erie fact, i have a mask, abidin. mask. i'll put that somewhere.
>> basically, they wereti inspired by the poster forons. v the devil's advocate.il >> remember that al pacinote. playing sata keaneanu reeves is in front of him. is in >> and there's like, you knowm. what? why am i explaining a movie poster when you can just google it? >> so it's good to see you, rob . >> hugh hefner's crypt. i did.hugh h yeah.efnes crypt. i figured if jimmy followur wasn't wearing a like the tight tux, i could go to men's tux wearhouse and find one thatcoulo fits. i don't think that's men's t wearhouse. i think that cemetery warehouse .e of >> what did you make ofh? the speech? watching it. watchini was reminded how muchn bill clinton in the politics of unifying triangulation. >> yes. yes. that's you know, it just h reminds you ofow how things have gone where i think when when dis politics is working right. the difference between. the parties are of degree and not kind. and i think what i think wh we saw in this ther was that, you know, we came out there and it's like, no, it'se m a different sport now wheree
half of the american people are d t and that we need to kind of transcend them by getting ty o this moment iney time where there's only going a to be a unique party and i think that works. i our tatecraft is bad for our country. country.yeah. >> you think this is the setup for something else? well i the, i beginning the whoe purpose of this was to kind of trigger donald trump to run. sae >> right. and to conflict him out at the same time. yeah. i thin- i ink and i think that . he's going to go for that bait, i but i do think this is really putting us forward at a time where it looks like we're moving towards something that we don't want to get to and we should stop it. yeah to a stoit. , i think that amera is in great shape, much like grjim florentine. well, thank you. yeah, that's calle flodpeople a transition, people. >> well, yeah, thank you. d alsy >> and you'll see you're wearing a dark red shirt ine -- remembrance of this. i picked s i did just i picked this out because of one out just because the background of speech. >> greg: tha >> yeah. thanan, he's that speech w wasas darker than your voice. >> i'd say so, yeah an
yeah, i would say so. >> and probably my comedy too. yeah.edy, too. i like h i like how people complain aowt those marine s in the background't during the speech. they it's like, oh well, aren't ar they supposed to be around when there's a disaster happening is ? yes. and like does he know what maga stands for? e knmake america great again.'tn who doesn't want america tot be great. yeah. is that such a bad thing. yeah. you know, so i guess, you know,y you're extremists if you wantoub secure borders, lower taxesrime and tougher on crime, you're an extremist. all of a sudden now. so i guess i'm an extremist. i admit it on tv.am. >> g i am. >> yeah. and you were an original think . extremist? i think so, yes. s but you it it's amazing then they say that. well, no, it's jusority. t a minority. soe others now they're saying to us that the minority is an extremist. >> that's what it's like.an they can't figure out what itt is . this isn't new . i'vei' been a minority forever and i've always been when i sawl
this.f yeah, i was half asleep because you got to be half asleep asl because then his his words make more sense. but i just i thought, you know, because schiff likes to write scripts and stuff. true. yeah. feel like they brought st likes in a george lucas in and he wasnd going to be the new sith lord . >> darth yells with fists.yellsh i think that's what he was going for.e other but the other thing is hecated. is clearly medicated. and i would like td o selikee ha go lay on the grass, cuts out clouds. o >> yeah. likeut the real quick. this actually gave me nightmares las t about like tha boyfriend i couldn't get over in high school. i first loveschool. like the first. remindedds me of like he needs to get over trump.t it remindeex-bd me of thatking ex-boyfriend where i'm going to keep talking about him and make him think i'm happy. about hi i'm. happy but i'm but like i'm not i'm actually ns not over him.o ge he needs to get over trump. trup i think it's. good that wee fil finally ended up becoming
friends, though. >> en that's right, jim . jim i think even the network, you>>l know, only two network shows. msnbspeech last night was msnbc and cnn. nobody elsand e been bought at n if we're not going to air atow it.s unpopula i mean, you know, decidenpopular when cbs decides they air like a rerun of young shelden instead ofs rer. have t all right, we got to move on . oh, yes. he thought it sounded good to say trump makes bin laden understood today. >> rising prices are everywhere at nutrisystem. we believe this shouldn't stop you from losing weight and living healthier. that's why for a limited time, we're dropping our prices back to january 2019 on our most popular program, uniquely yours. you'll get our delicious meals delivered free . you may not be able to control rising costs, but you can control your health and your weight with nutrisystem. take advantage this limited time offer. go online or call. right now, my husband is a marine and our family live to camp bloom. during the 80s, while i was
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visit us at info for puppy dog . >> is trump's trauma worse than >> is osat? trump'sam harris doubles downesw on being a trump deranged clown this week. author and intellectual sam this weeharris aren't they all wentr great lengths to explain that former president donalesd trump is actually worse than osama bin laden? >> but wait here.
oh, yeah. yeah. he's got some good points. >> i'm joking. i'on a recent episode of his podcast called making sense, " whic which is funny, is doubles downr on statements comparing the former president tsidento the 9/11 mastermind evil. >> i've said on severalnk occasions that i think donald trump is a worse person than osama bin laden and the statement is obviously meant to get your attention. i ger t that it's surprising, bt it's not meant to's not meant t be hyperbolic. i can defend every word of a statement like that. >> yes, wow. statemen >> greg: ione? okay, either he hates trump orpr loves bin laden. but it's right.. as it definitely got our attention. as with something lessarin obnoxious, like smearing
>> i think but defended he did. >> i think osama bin laden was n a more or less normal human being psychologically the moral structure he imagined he was i v living underin and wanted to impose on the rest of the world. given hi s beliefs, wasle. so despicable. so he created immens he harm. and it's very good that we but killed him. but within withi the framework s odious beliefs, he demonstrated many virtues. but it wouldn't surprise me at all. if he was genuinely a person of real integrity and generosity. f and compassion in his dealings with his fellow muslims. >>ing with his fello oh, well, o like this guy. e name so it's incredible. someone named harris making less sense than kamala, but finally she's like, thanks, sam. y, she'se but sam is right. bin laden never tried to blow
anyone that agreed up anyone that agreed with him. >> well, it was to murderu know someone else. but i think, you know, you've got long trump derangement syndrome when you think bin laden has redeeming qualities. but can those things be said about donald trump?e of >> none of these things cans ca said about donald trump. be said about donald trump. >> no, trump is withoutp is witf the leas question one of the least honest and most malignantly selfist h human beings i haven s ever come across. >> uh, apparently met him, which makes sense if you a believe that mean tweets are worse than planning the murder of three thousand innocent people. look for harris to also bring pa up the bright side of caligulan ganga's con and the guy who came up with cars for kidst . >> but i feel sorry for sam. cap you know, i used to think he's brilliant. if perhaps trouble. >> but if he only had watched fois show four years agofo, we
would have foundun the solution and helped him cure his sickness. helped him cure his sickness. you've heard about it int it the media. ning in we have to t acknowledge thatdo. there is so much more happening in the world than donaldut the a ,but the first stedmp to healing is admitting it. >> i am m trump addict. before it's too late, my wife and i, we find ourselves>> our pillow talk is sometimes about trump. >> terrible. >> that's right.trump. it i it is terrible. >> but now there's hope.t now tr thanks te'o the brian stelter institute for the trump addicted, we understand i the need for a saf trump e space to talk about your unhealthy obsession with the president . i stay ualp all night waiting ti see what trump's going to tweet next. i haven't slept in fouth r hundred eighty three days. mr. gennaro, wha t abou>> what you? you know, i watch these trump rallies on tv. it just seems muchon more fun.ty they have angrier. i get upset. well, the good news is this con is not a real medical condition. so grow a pair so grow a pa and get out of the house better. >> a lnow, my little bit so
they think the brian stelter institute for the trump. >> the brian addicted. you can stop whining forever. you keep going and going. yeah. yeah, yeah. tyr gitari okay.us, okay. i've been listening to sam i listening to sam harris' podcast for maybe ten years. i always and then he there's something that has gons e wrongp here. >> is he, is it. can you help him. >> well two things is that is always voice. >> yes. that's is always he he goes poght. reads hidcs own podcast.a he might be you might go to a problem. what he was trying to do would w be like if we sat down h and talked about how hitler was a wonderful artist, it was really good at paintingre watercolor paintings and everyone loved them becausee they had no choice.ve if they didn't, they would have
got murdered a. cod then comparing it to mpyour favorite, brian stelter,s because you don't like them. yeah, brian stelter has donet m nothing like that. and everyone knows he's a horrible artist. so this is they s same thin hig. he didn't list one thing that president trump did besideshe d' win. he didn'list ot list one thing t he did to even get close to bine laden. you he list all of bin stu on d ,he said. guest atou were a dinner guests at his house, he was phenomenal . >> i mean, like bin laden would kill sam harris and his family l without thinking. no.y without thinkingas soon as you d say it's over.er. >> g as soon as he heard that voice . hello, i'm here, mr. bin.. and it it it's like thisen reminds me, jim , when i was inc college, a girl toldol med me back into the nineties, but she said that she would rather get in a subway with a gang, a murderous gang sub, than with ronald reagan. and it's like they have to it's like the lie that they have toul tell themselves.
but everybody goes, of course you wouldn't. in realitydn. in reality, if that was if that offer was given to you, youget a would certainly not getting to u a subway with a murderous gang. this is like if you saidok tayo him, okay, here's a room, sam. saddam bin laden's there and trumps their you takeo take your family. which room do you want to take your family to? how could he answer that? >> i tho that? how could he answe ther that?er well, i thought the story you sa were going to saboy aboutan the college girls saying, oh,t i don't want to be i n there not with you. >> reagan. i'd rather be in>> murder subwa. i should changed the story.u i thought you were going, oh,we. you can.ronald reaga ronald reagan.n in i'm you. >>. first of all, sam harris calls osama bin laden a he hads osam courage. he said the guy hi d in the cave that's notard s. that's not courage. that's a coward. yes. cou it's aow, he probablragey thinks they think like nickelback is better thanbi metallica. >> yeah. what you got to make nickelback, though, hit a few,- >> greg: they had hit of field.
i'll get them. some of you. i have a girl. love you need some nickelback to play in the background. you can't play master of pla puppety s. master of try to get romantic. no, no, not dried. now you know you have toromantic. be like nickelback . y like you know, i go, you done defending nickelback because dei why? no one disagreed.ng >> gre there was nog: w one who not- one person crowd said, oh, that's no lookback. look at my nickelback tattoo. nc hatred, hatred towards nickelback. k should be shunted to maroon su five or josh groban. or >> you seejo what i mean? it's a finite pie of hate.u can' and you can't just give it all to one person. persid. yeah, that's guy.out? what are we talking about?n of i'm a fan. of sam harris, so i like i take what he says seriously. so thiwhngs is why t it's troub to me.work >> are you familiar with his? work at all? >> on joe rogano before. i've alwayhes thought he's beenl very sensible. he's kind of thae. thatt kind of person that jordan petersoned is paired with . but yeah, in this thin with.g, s
sounded like he was mistercr rogers on crack. >> yeah. yeah.ack.asn'a beautiful day ine neighborhood. and it wasn't a beautiful day - in the neighborhood. >> yeah. he's i think this is somebody that has become imprisoned thei by their emotion response toyoue trump. you don't have to like somebodyd toy to feel safe around them. it did say that because i don'te like them thatrson person is woe than bin laden is is a disorder. and what would he said to if he was asked to compare him to hitler? >> you know, trump to hitler, you'd sad toy, oh, well, hitler liked he was a vegan and he. like german shepherds. i mean, yeah, he was a big fan of blonds, too. yeah. >> yeah. we all like him. so you actually agreed with samt harris? >> yeah.oo i never heard of sam agr harries until he can read your children's book. actually , that would be great. thathat would actually get my my kids t wo bed on time ifr they could get a bedtime story. read by sam here. anm harris apparently. m and i had to actually look himhs up as an atheist, neuroscientist and philosopher a who knew he's an atheist, which then got me thinking aboute he
maybe he should becomeme a jihadist because then binhadit laden, while. he's in bed with seventy two, i think same harris should join him there. >> oh, there youm go . yeah, lady makes sense. >> i don't think that room. >> i don't this that room is a is as fun as we think it is ,k t just that they never sayreg: the they never say burgen. >> what what are you trying to insinuate. >> well, i sai but , they never say . what you said gnb again,- i don't think that ruins as fun >> as we think. you know, keep n it. snl all right. up next, has snl lost its luster because humor, it can no longer muster. going to need a soundtrack. ship favorites playlist, track one three. are we about to die? we're about to vanish from this reality. totally die. what is it?
with everybody in rich? can't wait. i'm having a bit of trouble with your car soundtrack now, jean. >> this is an obvious trap. >> you have to go to rick and morty, september 4th at eleven on adult swim with the unprecedent raid on mar a lago. it's more important than ever to teach your kids the truth about president trump. that's why mike huckabee's team wants to give you your family. the kid's guide to president trump gift bundle for free . this important freegate shows your kids the impact that president trump had on the united states and why he could become president again to order this free gift bundle for your family. just visit every trump gay.com . >> that's free trump guide, .com. hey it. oh, i guess quite like this fox wednesday. >> brings no wonder. oh, man. you want to see what's that got
to do. you want to watch what we could do. well get ready cause i'm coming through fox wednesday brings it to you like the greatest day of my life. watch and see it on the night of wonder premieres the masked singer in lego master. that's what you get wednesday, september, when he first on fox . >> you know, it says out of workshop for a reason. i'm so sorry to bother you, boss, but they moved the world cup to the holidays. >> we like the actual world cup to my holiday season. >> are you kidding me? yeah. there's messi and ronaldo. yeah, but that's my time to shine. so we're not supposed to be with that. you know what? get blitzen on the phone. i got to get back up there right now. i got to go right now. >> someone could be listed as the owner of your home and stealing thousands of dollars of your hard earned equity. anybody who owns property should worry about home title after there's no other crime that is so easy, so quick
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podcast. never heard of him, glenn. no, and reflected on the failing state of his former employer, saturday night live.r i bet he hates to on his oldempr show, and i hate to on my old own show. >> i hate when i sawshow. when lost hillary clinton lost, which is understandable. the most >> yes, not exactly the most p likely person in the room. right. n inand when kate mckinnon went there on saturday night liverd from the colay night live"d ope as she started dressed as hillary clinton and she starts playing hallelujah. elujah, i said and i said, i literally pray to please have a joke at the end. e don't do this. there please don't go down there. and there was nowa joke att's the end. over and i went, it's over. going t yeah, it's over. back. there's not going to back this like every snl skit, please. te is there a joke at the end? . and there never is . wrong. but is that wrong? the comediane comedis turned ino political hacks and the actors turned into jokes. >> now they're about as edgy edg
as brian stelter is . love handlesy as. elter' that's twice now and it's stilli happening in the world of late t night. you can take the comedicc indoctrination process eachon phappening with each of e that's hst and you could exchange them with each other. that's how you kno yw, it's not interesting anymore. >> it's true. >> greg: it'truedg the samee playing the same character, self-righteous snob who hated anyone who wasn't a fellow athlete there is interchangeable as the mrs. potato head pieces on jamess vanderbeek giant head misses. >> why didn't we make the choice with mrs and not mrsn anyway? >> well, except for one late night host. >> who could that be ? ms. >> that's beautiful.g: that's b. you know, jim, you'v you know, jim , you've been in
stand up for what, sixty years? >>60 half of that. half of that.f of that. yes. yes. and you, you're working away ath the clubs, which is good. >> what do you do. you do you. r? what's the word i'm lookingth for. w do you hang ouokt with wille comedians at all do you end upta having to share with them? sometimes. yeah. what is that like. we e talk about just talk about als stuff, try to talk about. football based, some kind of sports . >> we don't get involved>> with the politics, but they put whlitics and everythin greg:t po . but thenhe when they're hanginyg out, they pretend like they don't care. met. re independen so i don't really care about do. politics. meanwhile, they do. but and they try they try t to go up their woke on stage with that joke jokes and it doesn't work. a and then they get mad alndl trup supporters in the audience like, no, you your job just stinks. stinks. it's things. that's why it's making a stink.t it's saturda'sy night live, okan they've been on the air for forty seven years. it's an hour and a half showai. that's how long they got maybe like ten iconic sketches. yeahic, in forty seven years. if youlook look at the chappelle show, he did two seasons.e schal he's got more iconic sketches s
than saturday night live. yeahs th, that's a good point.an yeah. t ye i mean, so it's it's overrated. saturday night live is almost like you to they got like ten iconic songs and everythingn they put out after that stinks'. they have a good album out since 1997. . everything else they got ten and that's it. oh boy. look at the seven.'t a but i can'rgt argue with that. . that's what they are.that's wha that's what saturday night live. i mean the first three you twot >> greg: albums are amazing. yeah.are amazing. and then they had zooropa comes back and ther thatn after that everything kind of went to dismantle atomic bomb. >> yes. atomi and then remember they gavethat a one three album, three album . nobody wanted nobody wanted to automatically download it. >>u should give this away. with a real book. do yo there's many right there.u what do you makema? agree do you agree with rob shuter?-- the problem is a lot. a lot of people, they don't crbody watches.
a lot of people criticize snl,lu but don't watch.t watch i actually watch. y i mean, i faithfully watch it.is yeah, i think it's funny until they talk politics. i also think it's funny untily a they invite a guest host on . that's not even a comedian. right. st on that is not i mean, and i and i have nothing nothing bad to say about kimou kardashian, but when she was on , people were like, what is she promoting? her sex tape came out yearsam go and she's not a comedian, so they don't. now >> i think it's out on dvd now. yes, of course. it's in your rolodex. yes, my rolodex. yeah.odex. rotary phone, no. >> one . politics - it's just i mean, whenree with they bring in politics and i absolutely agree with schneidere that hallelujah, i was waitingke for a joke. i'm like, this is depressed. that was the whole thing. it was like it was so sad. the onion does this. they'll do like a serious headlined because it's like life is so bad. >> can can late night be saved?u i think you're saving it. that's all you have to. i forgive you for coming. dressed as a restaurant valet.
>> i thought it was an infomercial on how we could alll make money. that's better.s bett yeah, i like that betterer. ree you sell the reverse reverse mortgage or vasectomy. yeah. >> o that is a reverse reverse mortgage and that is . yes, it is . there you can keep your mortgage if you want. yeah. yeah. oh yeah.mortga last word terris. >> comes down to one it comes down to justk one thing. when you pick a sidea you lose and the comedy is supposed to objective. be objective and are the same thing with us. if we went super red all the time sorry would end up in the same. but i don't think anyone's mades fun of the president trump during his time when it wasof warranted. then we did. yeah. you know, so w pree don'sidet pt sides and once you pick a side, the art forms gone. >> yeah, butthe ar you also eve you pick a side, at least haverb >>sense of humor aboutou your side and you pick y a side that's not even on social media anymore. yeah. and the other sideothe is doingw that. we can only we could even make u up. yeah. i mean someonep. shakes handsn n
with their invisible friend in front of tv. there's some jokes there the. . >> yeah. yeah. i mean all greg: yea >> the time they try to jim c make fun of a member.ar biden jim carrey played bin bidene he and he had to say glassine like some like cool guy does nothing cool about joe biden that greg:t they do that their ideahe they when they say they'ren they making fun of somebody like hillary, it's so soft and it'se always laughing with the character. characo, but we do lampoon n o, who am i talking to? to? >> all right. coming up, it took some bravado to lock thermostat's and co.. wow. are you ready for a fresh new bath or shower? well, now is the best time with fifty percent off installation and no interest and no payments for one year. hi , i'm christina and it's time to flip your old worn out bath or shower with jacuzzi baths, remodel. today, everyone knows the jacuzzi brand. they're the most trusted name in water for over sixty years. but did you know they can install a gorgeous bath or
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then the utility company lockses when it gets too hot. t that's sibusisoo. o handed th the power over to the utility company and they're complainines 70 degrees is hot, it is tight n and i answer this in five words that would make me really sweat my off. balls >> that is that's ahly sweat my off five kids.u >> greg:ou listening? yes, i'm fine. y es. go and i'm going to buy. yeah. you know, portable air conditioner. screbook. pw i by reading and k and i am representing a book based on morals for children. jm jim , this this is kind of likep human nature. it's like they go up t and to p0 and they go because they they got $100 to tho opist into thisv program. but every humay hun being, thinl like this, jus gt like today, i'll give you a hundred dollars in two weeks. s i get to kick you in the face. i'll t i get to kick you in the face$10 and you go , six hundred bucks. >> i go, yeah,. i can handle it. >> yeah, go ahead.t.
take control of my thermostat.'t realize wha yeah. they didn't theyt realize whatp. they signed up for. i didn't know i was going to ok be like this. you're going to contro this andl my thermostat, which, you know,d it doesn't really bother marrie guys becauses. they they're not allowed to touch it anyway. i >> yeah. sot yeah. plus it's colorado so they're all high . so that's.l yeah. highthey're like the edible i jt ate is making me sweat . they don't even know it's sandy >> greg: w aid. so what is yourhat isr id eal ideal temperature. >> sixty eight . me too. 68. yeah i'm a sixty eight type ofef person. >> we thought he was going to gt say sixty nine . typical. i don't, i don't think he did but their definitely crossed some serious lines. got killed.line yeah. you touch the thermostat in my house. maybe some serious repercussions. ho serious repercussions. i used to be seven feet tall so six feet now don't, don't do now it. >> oh my god. i just can't imagine this is iw mean, i don't know what i wouldo do. god , would yoagreu ever agree o something like this?
i'm >> oh, no.ut i think this is ridiculous because i'm thinking about 100 whwho who made this deal to get the cool hundred, who's sleeping next to a womanhs who's on menopause and sweating. i mean, i think he's going to get killed going. f bi >> seventy eight . there's a lot of big reveals. i mean, it's a lot to deal withr . >> and did your kids always know you had or was i ? i'll explain to them after the show. you are you know, you are>> grea who you are. foxes, most nonbinary. >> thank you. thank you. you are fair and truly balanced. trulyyeah. that was piracies afraid though. oh tyrus i, afraid. up next, some jokes to admire before they expire. >> hi , i'm mike huckabee, former governor of arkansas, and i'm here today to tell you about a hidden health crisis currently affecting nearly every american sleep deprivation. and that's why you need to know about relaxium sleep. you see, getting a good night's sleep helps support a healthy
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nationwide and there's zero obligation calls today. >> or visit idealagent.com gregs leftovers from time once again for leftovers. it's the jokes we didn't uselefs this week. the j't use this week. and like any leftovers, you never know if they're any good until you dig in more . always,m as always, it's my first time reading these, so i don't knowl what's going to happen. here we go at the vm on sunday ,lizzo pleaded with fans to vote and make changee s to laws that are oppressing us . >> but scientists reminded her you can't change the laws ofyo gravity.
i was brutal. a lot of critics pointed outa this old photo of her getting on our private jet unflawed when she's the only passenger. the jet keeps flying in circles . i do not condone. >> new york stores have begun enforcing a ban on the sale ofn whipped creaonm to people under twenty one to stop them from doing whippets. d crm tofor those wondering how. one , it's easy. just close your eyes openr your mouth and relax. >> according to bill clinton, i didn't see that one coming.co. i did. thirty year old reference. a new survey finds twoamerican and three americans live with a seize the day attitudes h . st o unfortunately for the rest ofeo us , some people seize the dayse a little too hard.
oh, no, it was revealed that one of the documents seized during the mars lago raid was a folder labeled info regarding president of france. to >> i s the only document to surrender itself. it's not back . that's this information. accog to our report, donald gos trump once gossip that he hadsia intel on french president emmanuel macron's sex life. apparently macron's formula fo life.r partners is to take hiso own ow age, double it, add seven, surey and then make sure it's your high school teacher teache also married to dr. jill and looked at up and a southwest airlines pilot threatened to cancel a flight because passengers weret because passengers wer airdropping to each other.each he later said it was bad enough they were , but he really got when they requested reallymore turbulence. that.
i'll don't even get that. but i'll laugh, you know, because it shakes filled. d. >> okay, there you go . yeah, it's like magic.c finger fingers on a bed. yes, i'm old. d an abercrombie and fitch deleted an ad this week after call aftsr that the image normalized obesity, which is odd considering no one complained when cnn did the same thingthinn on weekends four years. pplause] again, i finally this week, a source close to leo dicaprio said he prefers dating women under the age of twenty five , but you can't blame him.can't b. last time he dated a woman hisaa own age, she let him freeze toa, death in the atlantic. >> let that's cute. oh, no. >> go away. we'll be right back . angie, you are not going to believe what i am going to show you right now. when a group of women put me on flawless second skin, the latest biotech cosmetic
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go on sale now and novemberhe 4th, new orleans at the orpheum be theater. forming ther i'll be performing there too. mcheck a chance, check thee to out, get ticketsge on ticketmaster duqu. >> awesome. all right. ticket that does it for me.>> oh alls fo, thanks to julie bed. you.shepherd, jean-claude taris ,our studio audience. fox is tonight with evil. e exc. kevin clark. it's not time.>>grea great. that felt that i love yot u america. hello, everyone. i'm jessica tarla. along with judge jeanine pirro, joey jones, kayleigh mcenany and greg gutfeld .jessica tarloe pirro, joey jones, it's five o'clock in new york city and this is the five . >> president biden giving presiden a fiery address to the nation, saying the real threat to democracy comes from maga. >> republicans donald trumpald m and the major republicans represent an extremism that threatens the very foundations
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