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tv   Gutfeld  FOX News  December 26, 2022 8:00pm-9:00pm PST

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speech has been impacted if we do not have a vigorous approach in protecting the first amendment and we will be there every step of the way to hold those in power accountable. that is it for us tonight but i hope you enjoyed watching the special edition of "the ingraham angle." it is america now and forever, and greg gutfeld and the gang can take it all from here. ♪ ♪ >> greg: mary day after christmas, everyone. we hit the road for a few shows in the republic of florida. i don't member them but i was told they were delightful but let's look at some highlights from that week, handpicked by my staff. if they aren't any good, i'll just fire them all later. >> it's great to be back in the free republic of florida!
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[cheers and applause] thank you, thank you for receiving us with open arms. even if they are covered with black sabbath tattoos and number 77 sunscreen. let's cover some news before we go to the monologue. an american who was trapped in ukraine for eight months says he evaded russian troops by prevpretending to be irish. in other words, he was drunk. comedian gallagher sadly has passed away at age 76. his family scheduled a private ceremony. followed by smashing him with a giant hammer. >> [laughs] >> laura: we had to show the picture of the watermelon. amazon's jeff bezos and ncb giving his fortune to charity, earning praise for hunter biden who gave most of his fortune to charity a month and the other
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girl dancing wednesday night shift. [dracula sanctuary city of philadelphia.- [cheers and applause] sparking outrage from migrants who packed for martha's vineyard. "this isn't what i signed up for," said one refugee named beto o'rourke. the department of energy is projecting heating bills will jump 28% this winter. for those who rely on natural gas. not as long as my finger is around to be pulled, said eric swalwell. did that discussed you? i thought it did discussed you, i thought it did. even aoc visited with her boyfriend. perhaps to air out his nasty feet. look at those things.
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last time i saw toes that ugly i was watching "jurassic park." for the most part, lefty leaders to the tub send people fleeing peoplelike >> fighting to bring government back to the people and out of the hands of dictators. we are here to say that the era of trump and zeldin, jump on the bus and head down the florida where you belong. get out of town. get out of town. you don't represent our values. you are not new yorkers. >> greg: we took her advice and here we are. this is going to take a long time. let's hope you didn't follow us down here on her broomstick. but it seems a lot of people are taking her advice.
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just not about her eyebrows. it gives her that surprised look on her face, like when you accidentally sit down on the child's toy. i said accidentally. or maybe she's as shocked as we are that she won. if those brows got any higher, they'll turn into wings. she is the embodiment of the flaw in the left's thinking for everything they think should be a negative of florida, it's something people wear proudly like a red, white, and blue speedo. for example, when governor desantis entered in the ban lockdown and open schools, we've got to keep our kids in home and mast up and double mask if it's on zoom and triple mask if jeffrey toobin is on the call. and while pushing to get kids in in school learning, places like san francisco were more into renaming schools to che guevara
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elementary and ho chi minh high. >> sounds pretty good. >> greg: florida is doing great but kids in other states can't add or subtract because they are to go grade levels behind. it's so bad the average freshman is reading at a joy behar level. i know. meanwhile i just hired a sixth-grader from fort lauderdale to manage my estate which is mostly bronze coins from rosalynn capital. things to biden, the four this year's popular boy's name was bozo. a system believed in government than the people in government, its ground zero for parents rights. you don't want them teaching them to torque.
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i say wait until it's age-appropriate. like the fifth grade when liberal educators teach them how to put a condom on a banana blindfolded. in florida, they are on your side but how about law and order question worked during the hurricane your governor b back o dozens who stood their ground against looters. somebody had a coronary. translation, shoot him if you've got. which is the only way to reduce looting. in other cities, they redefine theft as redistribution, which is the just for most leftism. in nyc can you drive into times where you'll see the sign. "gun-free zone." you can't be walk without being assaulted by disney character. thanks to a bail reform, mickey mouse is back on the street before you can say "winnie the pooh pooh."
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who is assigned for question what the armed criminal question what the average thug in new york can't read since he likely went to their public schools. it's a perfect example of idiot liberalism. they create more laws for the law-abiding unaware that criminals are defined by not following laws. especially when they are never jailed. and in nyc you don't get a slap on the wrist. when you're caught you get a pat on the back and released. i've used handcuffs more in my bedroom this year then the nypd has all year. [cheers and applause] but that's how h hegsth likes i. you notice how people who hate florida says that the states map looks like a penis? so what question mike manhattan is shaped like a turd. the kind you see in the sidewalk outside starbucks. they call that a venti.
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florida has great beaches for love great babes and thankfully most of them are women. nothing looks worse on the and a chick that has what looks like the outline of florida in her banana hammock. in new york the beaches are a cross between sushi bar and a needle exchange program. we are way past hepatitis c. by now, it is hep lmnop. you've got gorgeous wildlife from tru tropical birds. in new york you've got pigeons with rap sheets, rats with gang tattoos. even they are thinking about retiring here. can you blame them? period! i'm slow. let's welcome tonight's guests.
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this judge loves to talk, so expect a long sentence. cohost of the five, judge jeanine pirro! he is making florida redder from women blushing over his dimples. host of fox and friends weekend, pete hegseth. this is her first trip to florida without the ankle monitor but fox news can you better kat timpf fox news contributor kat timpf! when hurricane season is here, they turn around and leave. tyrus expect judge, it's a win-win. people come from new york and they are happy and i think hochul is happy.
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>> if you believe in law and order, doesn't believe in you. go to florida, another state. they believe that they'll let criminals be criminals and that is the end of it. that's it. >> greg: that's all i've got to say! pete, you look great as always. i'm glad my workout has really helped you. >> it has. >> greg: you have a lot of kids. are you planning... are you planning on moving here? >> we considered it. although we moved to tennessee. [cheers and applause] florida was in the running! should be in the running. things are so bad in new york that all the republicans left new york and moved to florida -- [cheers and applause] lee zeldin with no republicans still almost won! because democrats are looking around. i mean, liberals with any sanity
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say, i just don't want to get mugged and i'd like my taxes to go to something and it turns out my boy should not be told you are a girl. that k kind of stuff eventually adds up. maybe there is hope for new york but i don't think anybody here is going back there to help. >> we are actually watching "escape from new york" in a slow roll and i have at their young people of new york because they can put up with being mugged and put in certain circumstances but at a certain age it's like, no. nope. i gave you the best years of my life. i'm out of the relationship. it's like leaving an abusive relationship. >> i don't think any young people say, i can put up with being mugged. but the mugging that i can't put up with, that i am sick of, is the state income tax. you don't have it in florida. because everybody here is smiling and that's great but i also worry that i might not fit in because i'm not the smileyest but that's maybe because i am
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sick from being stolen from by the state every single day. for what? >> me exactly. i wouldn't mind having half my income taken away if i saw something from it but i don't. >> you don't go outside, it smells horrible all the time. >> greg: that's the way the new york smells. it hides my smells. if the city smells terrible, i don't even have to bathe, tyrus. i can walk around, sometimes i won't even touch water for days. you know? >> i kind of have an issue with something you just said but you have the gall as a married man to say that you didn't mind giving away half of your money, as if you had a have to give. that's hilarious. she still taking home. but whatever. what i like to see. new york, nice place to visit bit i'm never going to live there. we need as republicans or
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conservatives or adults who can actually do things in front of the camera, we need to start teaching these liberals how to speak. i'm running out of these ideas but we gave kabbalah the kamala the bongos.joe, sit back. but she can't talk either. she has a thing with her hand where she tries to push her way through the stop. and then they are going to leave for florida and they are going to go... which tells me that she doesn't even believe the old [bleep] she sank it i think it secret sign languages say "take me with you." they cannot believe that anyone who has been in new york lately is like, wow, this is great. this is awesome. unless of course you are a criminal who just got arrested and the cop says, what would you like us to drop you off? >> greg: the only way you stop a criminal looting and running is if they step in human poop
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and slip. >> that's a good helpful tip. >> greg: i surround my entire apartment with human poop and i urge everybody to do the same. disgusting. i know. up next! would donald trump fail without ivanka on the trail? at, finding perfect isn't rocket science. kitchen? sorted. hot tub, why not? and of course, puppy-friendly. we don't like to say perfect, but it's pretty perfect., booking.yeah.
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>> with your host, joy behar. >> greg: she's looking better. target's losses amount from five
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finger discount, liberals treat shoplifters like positives. target postures reported loss of 400 million bucks in profits this year due to shoplifters, organized gangs which have methodically looted their retail locations without fear of ar arrest. they are almost showing off, like me at the gym. or the. that's according to target and cfo who says they expect shoplifting to reduce the company about her is gross margin of $600 million by the end of the year or the business what we call one solyndra. it's not just the target, that's a target. everyone is a target. retailers across the country have reported increases become more brazen and vaguely people become desperate. thieves don't even get a slap on the wrist. the national retail federation and overall loss of $94 billion
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in stolen goods last year. that's more than anything the mafia has ever done without any of the delish italian food and funny nicknames like "joey two pans" and tell me the fish. while his city crumbles, chicago mayor lori lightfoot is releasing goofy campaign ads. >> lori lightfoot on launches a new plan. >> the mess she was dealt, lori is delivering. she has 5,000 google jobs and she was cool during covid. >> hey. did you order thousands of new jobs and a pepperoni? >> told you she delivers. >> greg: that raises a key question for it why the mayor delivering pizza.
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the actual delivery question tell my got murdered. tyrus, after the hurricane desantis had, a very brief solution. a reminder that looters get shot. this wasn't after a hurricane, this was an ongoing consistent problem that we've given up on. any solutions? >> i live in louisiana and i didn't need ron desantis to tell me that because we also carry. and we sometimes if you step in my house unannounced, shoot first and hide the body later. i think that message was resoundingly clear to criminals. like, while my, there's not going to be a woke campaign on my behalf. i'm going to keep the bullet out of my right now target is able to come of these big chains are able to keep insurance for the theft.
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they are going to look at a quality that's out. they are closing up shop. mom and pops cannot stay open, a lot of it was the businesses where they took loans to hold on because the free money was coming with the government. you are going to see targets coming down, empty buildings everywhere. people are going to get to continue to move. this continues the next six months, you're going to see that target is pulling up from the neighborhood for employment, medications, all that is going to be gone when he's going to be left. >> greg: what tyrus is talking about doesn't affect the people making the decisions, right? they don't shop in those neighborhoods were very easy for liberal politicians to basically
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say, the insurance companies will take care of it for but there's dozens of drugstores that go away but they don't shop at the drugstore's so they don't care. >> or they have someone else do it or amazon deliver it because you don't want to go to the store because you don't want to wait 20 minutes to get deodorant out of the lock behind the counter. it's a good decision. >> i know i smoke pungent but a lot of people find it arousing. >> that would not be me. the other thing is a liberal politicians, they will blame target. why are we allowing this to happen? it's really an attack on everybody else. same organization for net till retail folks everything hundred dollars that is stolen, it takes $200,000 with the sales to make it up over time because it's such small margins. all one of us are paying more because no one is actually addressing this problem. >> you are one of the five
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smallest people on this set. i don't tell you, you are in the top five. >> thank you. >> what can we do? >> there is a massive economic cost to it, a cost of poor neighborhoods. that's why we have so-called "food deserts." there is a cost to the whole country when you allow stealing. it's low. it's the lowest of all crimes are everyone that murder is bad. no one defends murder pit we just ignore it. we don't solve the murders but nobody stands up and up from defends murders. people defend thieves all the time but when you do that you degrade your country pit what that means is there's a lot of americans who steal stuff! you want to live in a nation of people who steal question like they use to say that about romania. that's disgusting. i'm serious!
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i think is totally degrading to allow this. i think the point of allowing it is to degrade the country, to make us feel less proud of who we are, to divide us from each other. you can't be neighborly with someone who steals from you. in close quarters in the school or military, stealing is the one thing they will not tolerate because cohesion is destroyed by it. you can't relax if people are stealing. i think the penalties should be really severe. i mean it too. i don't care if it's toothpaste or deodorant emma with your children you -- what do you do? he humiliate your child when your child steals but you take them by their arm, bring them back to the grocery store, here is the reese's i stole from you. >> such an amazing point. i didn't even look at it that way and the idea of how it destroys the trust in the society. it made me think when i was in school as a kid. when you are in grade school, the kid that was caught stealing, he was ostracized.
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it's like stealing from another student. do you have any 70 for thieves, kat? >> one of the foundations of our system of government is the individual right of ownership of property. it's not a victimless crime to steal. what is central to everybody, that's communism. i guess it's not surprising. it is pretty bad of target is losing that much money because target is so good at getting you to buy stuff. like, nobody has ever left target with one bag. >> that's true. >> you go there and you're like, i have this light up flip-flops and a candle shaped like a penguin. i don't need this. i have closets and closets full of crap i bought it target and i also can't throw it away! >> as long as it has an extension cord... >> they always ask you that smart ass question, do you have
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everything you need? >> you didn't need any of that! >> i didn't need a grinch sweater that wasn't going to fit. >> where my going to hang these lights? >> i blame "friends," the chauffeur hanging chris was light indoors. was at the first show to do that? >> i deafly know my history in n the area. >> we will say yes. >> we have to move on. >> you just dropped out of the top five. >> nicely done. coming up, airplanes, don't worry. aliens aren't in a hurry. and it only takes eight minutes to qualify. i went on their website, uploaded everything, and i was blown away by what they could do. has helped businesses get over a billion dollars and we can help your business too. qualify your business for a big refund in eight minutes. go to to get started.
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hi, i'm lauren, i lost 67 pounds in 12 months on golo. golo and the release has been phenomenal in my life. it's all natural. it's not something that gives you the jitters. it makes you go through your days with energy, and you're not tired anymore, and your anxiety, everything is gone. it's definitely worth trying. it is an amazing product. >> welcome tell fox news live. i'm jackie ibanez in new york. following one of the brutal winter storms in recent u.s. history. the latest death count surpasses 50. rescuers here, the toll will climbing as snowbanks tonight
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upstate new york, president biden tonight approved an emergency declaration for the state. it'll take days to restore power to hundreds of thousands of homes and businesses. and they because continues, many of our nation's airports holiday travelers scramble to get humbert southwest canceled nearly 2 2900 flights, leaving passengers stranded probably until friday, we are told. if it's any consolation forecasters tell us a warmer trend is on the way making for more pleasant celebration on the new year's eve. >> greg: it's the ticketmaster glitch that's making taylor swift fans bitch. ticketmaster canceled public sale of my ex-girlfriends new tour after the system was overwhelmed with demand. overwhelmed with the man pit like the opposite of a jesse watters book signing.
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[laughs] funny because he's not here! to defend himself. the fiasco started on tuesday's presale where fans crashed the system. those who managed to score tickets are now reselling them on the secondary market for tens of thousands of dollars. it's the biggest rip-off since i bought stock in chris wallace. you are a legend in the country music scene. first off, how has taylor swift been doing since i broke with her this summer? do you think the breakup has clouded her her perceptions and this is why she's -- she does her own promotions. as it weighed down on her? that's why it's happening? >> i think it's absolutely torture, on the sleeper she's on a tailspin ever since i said
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i'll be on greg's show, give her a message. taylor swift is the biggest hardest on the planet. i think she's her own promoter. in a million years she would not want this to happen. i don't think any artist would not say this. i would be, taylor, while you got to be so mean? after this we are never ever ever getting back together. leave her to shake it off, people. that's it. i got three. >> that you go. shake it off. every morning. forget it. dave, you are gay. >> not before 10:00 p.m. >> i'm assuming that you're a fan of taylor swift. >> actually don't... you think somehow being gay you'd like taylor swift? >> that's britney spears.
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>> i don't... i'm not a big. i like frank sinatra. you know. [cheers and applause] i don't really care for the story. >> let me ask you this! speaker you can't >> you can't punt on the story. >> he really hates women fit what is the point of ticketmaster. is that necessary? do you use it on your shows question work >> we've sold some tickets on ticketmaster but the future is that all of us do something for a living, we'll be able to sell it ourselves. that really is the answer. >> a story that dave rubin wants no part of? >> i have an opinion. aoc had the best take on it. this is because ticketmaster and live nation merged and now they are a monopoly and have too much power and maybe ticketmaster has too much power, which i tell you
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about the government! i would be a lot more interested listen to her ticket selling monopoly take if she didn't want to, you know, create a government monopoly and areas that are far more consequential. like education and health care. >> it's a great point and every now and then you make one. so i like to point it out. >> makes it all worth it to sit here in the splash zone. >> you see where my pain comes from. i treasure my pain onto you? >> in what respect? first of all pure taylor swift, et al. number one. number two, she's got the power to do whatever she wants. so she canceled the show because of the sticky controversy. which is unbelievable. you cancel a show because you can't sell tickets right which is incredible because she can actually break up this thing. i was talking to my expert in
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music. she's powerful enough to break up the monopoly between ticketmaster and live nation. >> the scalping thing is infuriating because what the scalping thing is, you go and buy a ticket, you wait, you get there so early pay but somehow there are tickets, good tickets left. somebody else got them and they are selling them and the only people who couldn't afford them are celebrities. like john rich. how do you deal with the scalping situation. is that house capitalism how capitalism works?>> as arti. we want our fans to be treated the same way my everybody have a great time. we don't benefit from that, the fans were getting hurt. >> capitalism is fair. you're supposed to have fairness. an equal shot. >> all right, mr. fox and friends. quick announcement, john rich announcing all of his future shows will be free till the end of time.
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forever. forever. up next, an update on sheep who like to rotate. ♪ acoustic soul music throughout ♪ ♪ acoustic soul music throughout ♪ ♪ acoustic soul music throughout ♪
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- hello, friends. michael youssef here. you know, the right says that christ was conservative. the left says christ was radical, but christ is the creator, god in human flesh, and he's the only one who can give you peace, and he wants to give you that peace, eternal peace. will you come to him? - [woman] are you looking for peace that can withstand any hardship that life can bring? visit to find answers.
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that's >> does it bring you dread knowing aliens are dead? aliens died before they reached our globe. so i won't get to enjoy their anal probe. >> my god! greg... >> you've known me for years. knock it off. start a new proposition where i paid tucker $1 million to massage my feet, reveals the real reason why we've yet to encounter intelligent extra terrestrial life at nasa scientists say all aliens have probably destroyed themselves before evolving to the point where they can actually make contact with us or earthlings. it's all delma called "the great filter theory" which argued that great solutions likely existed but they've died out before they reach earth because they weren't smart enough and they blew themselves up.
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researchers argue the same fate awaits us unless we identify the destructive attributes within ourselves and do something about it. kat has acknowledged it's time to stop crashing wakes to take advantage of the open bar. tyrus has realized cannonball pluralists cause tidal waves cannonballs cause tidal waves. dana admitted starting bar fights never helps anyone. and tucker has killed livestock to make a documentary on someone killing livestock. all right! tucker, this is your wheelhouse but how do you explain all of those mysterious ufo footage and what about the mutilation of the cattle anyway? >> it's all real, actually. i don't know what to say and my producers mocked me. john cougar in charge of our document arrays. i don't want to see cattle
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mutilations and he's like, settle down, alex johnsbury goes out and spend month on it and he's got this kind of, you know, shocked. he goes, no, it's real. 100% real. no one knows what it is. i never believed in anything like this. the guy actually believe the warren commission five years ago. that's how dumb i was. one of the prevailing theories is there's a lot of activity undersea, under the ocean. it's been documented on video and by sonar of objects, some kind of craft moving in. it's like, with no visible means of propulsion, defying physics. i think there is a sense, some of them are not insane at all and work for the u.s. government. i know because i talk to them. a lot of this activity is coming from undersea. >> it's a great idea that the space aliens aren't in outer space, it's an under space. >> it's like a scary movie when
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it's like, it's behind you! it's like, look up! up above! i'm really offended by the phrase "great filter theory." i think that's really offensive on behalf of the aliens so i may set that. >> in the break he said you wanted to bu build a wall. >> undersea. >> i don't believe any of this. it's like people... i don't know but maybe i need to go out with charlie and see the cattle mutilations. >> let's have dinner. he'll kill a cow for you. >> it's on the menu. i sit there and i think, well, these people now, where is the alien life? well, have we got a theory for you. they burn themselves up. the next thing this whole group is going to say question mike it's because of climate change in the next thing you know we are going to be at the u.n. giving away another $2 trillion to old climate change. >> that's a great thought, kat
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with the idea is a nuclear threat peered we evolved to the point where we invent nuclear weapons and they blew their own planets up. >> it's so arrogant. it's an arrogant friday explanation. it's like a frat guy x winning they don't have any new members because none of the pledges could handle pledge week. it is! maybe you've got to convince all these dudes to stay locked in a basement with a bunch of other men until the ten case of milwaukee's best are gone. the same exact thing! you got to look at yourself. maybe we are not smart enough to talk to the aliens but you can't blame it on other people. >> you had a tough time in college. >> no! i had a great time. [laughter] >> tyrus. >> i'll take it from here. first of all. doesn't take a genius to look at our history, okay? 70,000 years we couldn't figure out a rock and the stick go together. we had no clue.
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all of a sudden, lo and behold, something happens. we have perfect pyramids and we all have iphones but you don't think someone dropped it and drop knowledge on this question mike this is what they do. first, they never existed bid then there's too much evidence, then they all died. no. sorry. what happened was they came here, hung out, we ate a few of them. they can't get along with each other, [bleep] it, we are out. they left. and now as a rite of passage, they dare each other a tough fly by and see why they won't come down. >> greg: up next, i stink a situation that ended in a list infatuation.
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undead. >> yes. >> what else could it be? i don't know what it is but what's crazy is that they know what it is. >> exactly! >> what do they know that we don't know that make me never want to eat a shish kebab again? >> isn't that just the democrat convention question mike >> >> isn't that just the democrat convention? >> ooh! dave rubin serving up some fresh beef medium rare! yeah, florida. you know what it is, though. interesting fact, brian, people often count brian kilmeades in order to fall asleep. you must have a theory. >> i do have a theory. do you want me to go over it? >> yes. >> my theory is what do sheep do? sheep follow sheep.
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there is only one sheep that walked in a circle and everybody is following them. if you can figure out what sheep it is, we can stop it. the problem is god made sheep look exactly alike. we have no idea who the first sheep is. we can stop the first one, that it be it. >> deep analysis. >> you have enough time to prevent for this one but not the taylor swift one? >> that threw me over the book. >> the sheepherder needs to know how many sheep there are but as long as they are in a circle you can't begin to count or end it. they basically created in infinity. it's an infinity number, john! you lived in our farm, didn't you question mike >> i know exactly how to stop this immediately. eat one of them. it's over. the rest of them go, okay, we are done with the circle. i saw this and i go, we actually have a name for this in america. those are called carry lake supporters trying to find a voting booth that works.
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running around in a big circle. >> no comment from me but i think the election system is 100% foolproof. you can quote me on that! >> as soon as they are down and counting in two weeks. >> i don't know. it's china, kat. weird things happen in china. no what i'm saying? >> i've never been there. yeah. of course. >> that was called stretching. brian does it all the time on "fox & friends" when they run out of funny things to say which is almost constantly. >> a lot of "fox & friends" references bait unbelievable. it's like you are obsessed. there is a part of you that wants to get up at 2:30 in the morning and begin to read. >> interview the boy scouts... >> right. >> that's what "fox & friends" is, right? >> a volunteer firefighter rescues... >> also a veteran and a cop.
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>> rescues 12 baby chickens. >> who are all cops. >> all cops! >> this is the point where john rich defends me. go ahead. >> why don't we test this theory one time and have these two guys switch seats just for one time. >> it'll have to be the same day, has to be the same day and i get to pick the topics on "fox & friends," you get to pick the topics on "gutfeld." >> way until i tell them it's a three hour show. he'll bail on the -- don't go away! will be right back! we will be right back!
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>> greg: well that was wonderful, thank you for spending an evening with us, i'm tired and kat will take over hosting duties for the week. i am greg gutfeld, everybody. >> welcome to washington, i am rich heads and for bret baier, new york state causing thousands of flight delays and cancellations infecting post-holiday travel for millions of americans, title 42 is an effect on our southern border for now, but the immigration crisis shows no signs of slowing. and new attacks on several power stations leaved thousands in washington state unplugged on christmas day. but first,


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