>> eric: have a great weekend, everybody. if you see marine, armed force member, buy him a drink in a bar, buy them a meal. that's all you can do. have a great weekend. see you >> greg:, yes, ladies these are real. andy is out of town, filling in for him. joe derosa. joe what is coming up tonight's show. tonight on redeye because the only ones that work is the red ones. rich guys romney and gingrich duke it out over personal finances while the rest of regular folks wish we could afford popcorn. concern is demi moore may have a red bull addiction. nobody seems to worry about the
pills i'm taking but i can stop whenever i want. alaska airlines won't type out prayer cards and you have to beg. >> greg: thanks for joining us tonight. >> great. >> greg: is something wrong already. >> no, greg, it's really a pleasure to be here. >> gregg: i don't understand. >> let's cut the crap. all professionalism aside. you haven't been home for a month and returned my calls and where is daddy been. where has daddy been? >> greg: daddy has been figuring out things for himself don't make it weird. >> you started it. you are bringing this show down. let's welcome our guests. she doubles a bug hopper, lauren
simonetti. the same name as my third great teacher. >> he is hilarious, delightful comedian, on sirius xm radio. and he died in 1995 but no one told him. and he is deeper than a bottomless pit with spikes at the bottom. sitting next to me is michael monihan. and "new york times" correspondent, jim pinkerton. >> and then they write countries around the world soap operas are delivering important messages. i am found of the greek one but mack, mack, haba and loosely translated keep the olympics all male and nude just like the days
of old. >> greg: i know bill would get behind that whoa! >> greg: i like. that did his agression make an impression? did he thrill in jacksonville? mitt wasn't afraid to it in the debate recently attacking him. but romney threw it right back at him. >> mr. speaker, i know it sounds like an enormous revelation. have you checked your own investments. you also have investments that invest in fannie mae and freddie mac. >> greg: and gingrich ad came up calling romney anti-immigrant the storming normanmormon wasn't es pleased. >> mr. speaker i'm not anti-immigrant.
my father was born in mexico. my waive wiafz father was born in awes. the idea that anti-immigrant is repulsive. i think you should apologize for it an having differences of opinions on issues is not justify labeling people with highly charged epithets. >> greg: that is how you say the word? romney may be gaining an edge with a new poll showing him up 33% to 29%. and grandson of john tyler, tenth president of the united states has called newt a big jerk, the. newt has released a new ad in florida attacking romney.
i'm newt gingrich, and i approve this message. >> greg: these things are getting meaner and meaner. how do you think the debate is going to help newt's chances. i think romney came back strong. he is going to win florida because newt, i'm not impressed by mitt romney. >> it took him this long for a thrice married republican whose big idea is colonize the moon. they are living off our graf tailings pull. newt was not there. >> greg: you are going to hear nothing but complaints from the moonies. we're going to have create oxygen stamps. >> moon paul revolution. >> moonies send your e-mail to
pete, not redeye. >> i was surprised, mitt romney, he was a mormon but something got him hyped up. >> he was pointing his fingers and leaning in and his voice sounded different but his voice, i have a hard time listening to him. it's choppy. i had to go into the other room. >> greg: and you have michele bachmann's debate coach. so something is helping. >> but it defending working but john tyler's grandson, which is steven lie tyler from aerosmith, when will martin van buren's
children weigh in? >> i used to date president polk's granddaughter. she was going for gary johnson. [ laughter ] >> talking about my wife. [ laughter ] >> kind of slipping it. >> i think that is real deal breaker. i have spent all morning trying to do the math on this. tyler was born 1871. >> we have confirmed -- i don't know one pretends. >> gregg: i nodded in agreement. but what a great lie. what does it get you? that gets you a free meal at denny's? what does it get you when you make that lie up? >> but john tyler was born when washington was in office. his grandkids were walking around when george washington
with was still alive. they were born in the '20s. the wives and husbands. >> are they tired of politics. you have one president. shut up tyler. >> i love this guy. i want to talk about ron paul. i think ron paul won the debate last night and i want to play some mols. >> i want to challenge them to a 25 mile back ride. >> there are laws against discrimination. >> i don't think we should go to the moon. i think we should send some politicians up there. [ laughter ] >> imagine you are in the oval office you speak to castro, what would you say to him? >> well, i asked him what did he
call about? [ laughter ] >> this is a guy that was getting a great conversation at ace hardware. i kind of like this guy. he would be retired greeter and he would have so many great things. she is great. he is hilarious. he a breath of fresh air. some people like him. he is going to hurt the gop. >> that is if he running independently. here is my theory. the first one he does, i like to do this. i think the way you move forward i think ron paul is like a surrogate for the viewer at home. when we see stuff on the debate, we're saying things and tweeting things he says.
i saw him half the time laughing throughout the whole thing. it was ridiculous. >> it's ridiculous and preposterous and focused on issues that don't affect people. i would love to see the physical challenge between ron paul and newt gingrich, that bike ride. newt gingrich couldn't make it up a slight incline, but ron paul is great. he is the guy, you can't pander, doesn't know how to pander. he doesn't take special interest money and he seems to be honest that can be said for ron paul. you don't have to pander when you know you are not going to win. >> i think those are phenomenal answers but the best performance of the night. >> i'm opposed to imperialism, loves bike rides, little confused about this. >> he was doing shtick. all these post debate
conversations and gingrich and romney but the two ghreis slanting the prisoners, he destroyed them. that was story of last night. >> that was the story last night. >> it's good to have ron paul up there. these three guys agree on almost a lot of issues but ron paul is a totally different ideas on these issues. some are valid but some of them are bizarre. >> greg: they didn't hit on those topics. >> he is appealing when you remove things. it's like a salad and somebody puts crap in your salad you don't like. when the crap isn't in the salad the salad is better. mine cranberries, it's wrong.
>> mine is actual crap. [ laughter ] >> where do you guys get your salad? >> and the float. should we wait for a ticker tape. there has been little fanfare, no big celebrations until now. st. louis is planning a parade on saturday with hundreds of veterans expected to march. that is them planning. welcome home for warriors was organized by few friends and launched a facebook page. but celebrating the end isn't as simple as the end of world war i or two, because we have 90,000 troops in afghanistan but we should celebrate them. festivities have already begun.
that is adorable. despite what anybody feels of the last two wars, these guys deserve parades because they are america's bad asses. can't we have america's bad ass parade? >> even it should have bad ass but doing stuff on computers and things. >> i think they should have a parade. the political idea is somehow it's an endorsement of the war or troop's conduct, but i think that is obviously not the case. it's for people that participated. you can disagree with me, but i can hear you. >> greg: i'm very uncomfortable
with this idea. i spent a tremendous amount of time advocating the families. dealing with post-traumatic stress syndrome. think. >> it looks like celebration. world war i, world war ii, ve day. this was mistake. we occurred a tremendous loss. it's not their fault but how you interpret it. right now in iraq people are extremely angry, where the marines have been let off, abu ghraib. >> i don't disagree with you but perception matters. if it looks like we're celebrating one of the greatest foreign policy mistakes that is bad for america, bad for us. we want to make sure they get everything they need. we want to appreciate and celebrate the sacrifices they made for their families and for the country.
i don't want to celebrate a mistake. >>ly say i would take that risk. if they think we are celebrating that is the risk i want to take. we won the war, but we won the war. >> we didn't win the war. it totally disagree. >> you can have guys marched in st. louis and sent to afghanistan and killed. >> this is not down sixth avenue. >> you can have a ve day and have troops go before. >> the way to celebrate or rather take all the money. there is very little for their families to get their treatment and families and everything else they need. >> what is your take on this? >> parades are expensive but if you are going to have a little parade like we just saw, go
home. >> this is their own initiative. >> i agree, right. >> i think it's great they are taking the initiative but having said that, the fact is there is no parades in new york. you when you see a military person, what you should do? >> buy them a beer. >> but what if they are mormon? >> then you buy them a meal. >> what other ones? >> occupy wall street. >> they don't want to be celebrated. every guy, you don't have to celebrated me but don't leave my family high and dry. >> one way of judging whether or not they show up. its private parade. i think the money could be gone, as far as that, we can cake of the people and have a parade.
>> i would get them to my car and say you go to that parade. >> by the way, my other logic i just hate parades in general. the thing they are excuse for urinating in front of my apartment. if we are going to have parades for people that were born into a certain group, forget it. these guys achieve something. have the parade, pete you are going rot in hell. >> and you are anti-puerto rican >> you wasn't talking about puerto rico. >> italian, greg. maybe it's that black parade. [ laughter ] >> i don't think so. >> i love puerto ricans.
>> greg: coming up what is it like 400 pounds nude on the beach in front of an audience? first, do you want more of demi moore. [♪...] >> announcer: bank robbery certainly is a frightening crime. after all, bank robbers stole $43 million in one year. but identity thieves? try 37 billion! and guess how identity thieves are getting some of that money. by taking over our bank accounts. they may not even need your social security number anymore. all an identity thief may need are a couple of simple pieces of information, like your mother's maiden name or the city you were born in, and they could add their name onto your bank accounts in order to make your money their money. you need help. [whoosh, clang] you need lifelock-- the only identity protection company that now monitors bank accounts for
takeover fraud. lifelock is the proactive identity protection company with an early warning alert system that is state of the art. when we detect any suspected breaches of your personal information within our network, we contact you right away, before the damage is done. lifelock has the most comprehensive identity protection available. no one can stop all identity theft-- that's why lifelock offers you peace of mind, and you get our million dollar total service guarantee. >> having your identity stolen feels like you've been totally violated. you go around looking over your shoulder. it's almost as if someone has broken into your home. >> announcer: don't spend another day without lifelock. call now! try lifelock's service risk-free for 60 days. lifelock is the only identity protection company that now monitors bank accounts for takeover fraud. no one provides more comprehensive identity protection than lifelock. if you're not convinced after 60 days, simply notify lifelock and you won't pay. and to keep your documents out of the wrong hands, we'll even add this personal shredder--
>> greg: sencense? and moore doesn't eat and allows on red bull. elaborating, just like bill schultz. cases of red bull were delivered to her as early as 2002. and video service of a drunken 19-year-old moore making out with co-star at a general hospital party. while the jerks in entertainment tonight wouldn't let it air it. robin williams vision tinge her.
>> so good to see robin williams up and about. when all this stuff, is demi rego living her youth? >> she is so scared turning 50. >> greg: i'm 47. >> so 49 years ago, i think he is a just freaking out. it's sad. she looks great. she doesn't look like she is turning 50. >> you know what is weird, greg, i think 911 dispatch they are the hollywood area. there must be training course, you might get calls and it might be a celebrity. i want the caller this is f.b.i. jane right now. the woman i'm calling is ashton kuicher. oh, my gosh this is demi moore.
we'll be right out there. we'll send our hottest paramedic >> if it's involving drugs you assume it's a celebrity but 911 how relaxed they are. i guess they are always are. >> i don't know if you listened to the whole call but it was continuous. >> the dispatcher, once they find out celebrity, this baby is going out. so i better straighten up and not mess up. >> when they are asking what did she smoke? she smokeding is it was incense. clearly though know it will be released. >> incense is one thing only. to cover up pot smoke. it was the first thing.
she is not smoking pot, it's incense. >> so anti-yoga and yoga smoke. >> it's unbelievable. >> and bad cooking. >> demi moore is blessed. >> the worst thing about, it's like you are stuck on an exhaust pipe it's so metallic. >> bill, you wrote this story you tried to get video of her making out with a 50-year-old which we watched. entertainment tonight wldn't give it to us. aren't they the real villains. >> i'll be the hero and act out what i saw with pete. [ laughter ] >> couple takes from the video. one, demi moore has not matured one iota. the kid was surprisingly
nonplused by making out. >> i used to watch her in general hospital, her name was jackie temple ton. and cute. >> i don't know. >> i don't know what he was doing. >> i have no idea. >> is that your words. >> that was my interpretation what we saw on the screen. it was awkward. >> he was tired and she was drunk. it was awkward. >> can we identify the kid. >> i think he is our next guest. >> ricky schroeder. >> i don't think he has aged well. >> look whachgs in life when you are 12 and 14 and made out with deni moore.
♪ ♪ ♪ >> gregg: we were talking about my tremendous weight loss. people ask me about it. what can i do? how many things we got wrong tonight. i'm sure. but with luckily we have joe derosa who can't count. >> month ho misses you? >> me. >> first the campaign against romney from newt. i don't believe that was one of newt's ads. if it was i'm confused. why would newt use a cat that looks so much like himself. [ laughter ] >> that is what gave it away,
grek. >> pete do me a favor. never say the word thrice again. i wanted to throw my coffee at monitor when you said that. >> joe and i go back a long time and push back. but you are absolutely right. it's not my word. i know my writers. pass the buck. it always one word, but thrice is three times. >> while i have you here, you colonization you used the term moonies, it's moonakin. it's terrible. >> what is the difference between that. >> you are going dig the racial hole deeper? >> lauren, you have two rooms in
your apartment? >> yeah, three. >> would you like an apartment that has four. we could make it happen laugh. >> by the time you get up the studio he'll be outside the door. i'll be back in my four empty rooms. >> michael you said you dated polk's granddaughter. i have a question. did you get to polk her? >> do it. >> we were on there and did you do it. >> that will do it. >> i have tho to thought you were better than that and that is my fault. >> would y would you think that? >> i bar tend forward a while. >> take back your impuse, an "a" for you.
>> bill, you had said that tyler was born when washington was in office? >> correct. >> so was that jacket. [ laughter ] >> thank you. >> you are in position. >> i look at this debate. i look at the republican party like the golden girls and ron paul is betty white. >> which one is the slut? is that lou? i think we know who it is. good to see you again. >> all had you to do was hit it. >> yeah, ways too busy because thinking about the sexy dame. >> let's move on to the parade. i agree with you, michael, on
your points here. the parade isn't a show of wars will so celebrate and went through hell. they deserve a day in the sun. >> i said that before. i totally agree. it was nice of you. >> pete, i don't agree with your take on this obviously. you said this war was a mistake. we really didn't win. so what if we went over there and won the war technically or the eyes in the country, the violence would have been okay? >> no, no, i don't think violence would be okay. >> what the difference? >> if you want to celebrate and honor these troops, take good care of them. give them everything they need. do everything you can to provide the fund and support and government help that they need. bring them home and don't ever send them to a war like this one ever again. >> that is fine. here is my question. if this is private funding for
this parade. what does that have to do with the government taking care of the troops. its nice gesture for the troops. the gift is like the gift. if somebody gives you a sweater for your birthday, you can't say can i have the money instead. >> joe and i do a lot of benefits for the military. those are private. i think they would like to have it raised again. >> i just want to see where you're at with this. >> i think this an important issue and i refuse to play a game with you. >> i think that was a jab about the sweater you gave him. >> i think it was. >> i'm agreeing with you, greg. it sounds like i'm asking a question. >> all right let's move on to demi. greg, it's the 911 call. the woman might be dying. just say opium. [ laughter ] >> now is not the time to be
discreet and worry about tmz. bill, when you are on the floor convulsing what do they say you smoke? >> they actually tell me to smoke more. i call my brother and he is happy with the situation because we don't get along very well. >> do you think when robin williams visited demi in the hospital he repriced his wall of adams? >> no laughter best medicine. that movie was a healing experience. >> that is why they should keep robin williams out of any hospital. >> that video was a video of a bear. >> and are we losing anything with demi having a complete meltdown and becoming unraveled. people are talking like she is a clashing gable. i don't remember the wonderful
demi era of hollywood. i am not saying life isn't valuable. >> what part of it are you not getting? get out of here. >> my question is this such a big story that people make it out to be. other than banging young guy. >> i do know thousand explain it. i have to do that for somebody. >> the doctor on the hospital bed when she was coming -- now, about.... [ laughter ] >> every one of those references lost me. so congratulations to all of you. greg, you are finished, i mean in life. >> greg: good job tonight.
very funny comedian. he has website, i imagine he does. very funny stand-up comedian. go see my friend, joe. >> i know you need it because you have me on your show all the time. >> joe, i would love to have you on my show next week. we're on hiatus. [ laughter ] >> see you in a bit. >> greg: are you ready to train for your next decathalon? is nagging poison when it comes to marriage. we know a place where tossing and turning have given way to sleeping. where sleepless nights yield to restful sleep. and lunesta can help you get there, like it has for so many people before. when taking lunesta, don't drive or operate machinery until you feel fully awake.
walking, eating, driving, or engaging in other activities while asleep, without remembering it the next day, have been reported. abnormal behaviors may include aggressiveness, agitation, hallucinations or confusion. in depressed patients, worsening of depression, including risk of suicide, may occur. alcohol may increase these risks. allergic reactions, such as tongue or throat swelling, occur rarely and may be fatal. side effects may include unpleasant taste, headache, dizziness and morning drowsiness. ask your doctor if lunesta is right for you. then get lunesta for $0 at lunesta.com. there's a land of restful sleep. we can help you go there on the wings of lunesta.
elizabeth been stein, badgering starts to withhold which makes the nagger nag more. nagging becomes what's wrong with me can be a prime contributory divorce when fighting about the nagging rather than talking about the issue at the root of the nagging. clearly we must discuss this in the lightning round. lightning round. >> gregg: michael what is it about men that make them not do that stuff when the wife asks them to? >> my wife tells me to stop drinking in the morning and all that sort of thing. it's fair enough. these stories, it's a great redeye story. this is the thing i imagine, all
right. it's totally amazing idea. men hate it when women nag them. it's in the story. >> strong journalism. >> you know what, probe the most popular article in "wall street journal" this th week, every guy to show it to their wife, lauren? >> yes, nag, i'm the worst. but look, every day. okay, what is so so key, i know you guys aren't talking about this, but the story you push the note of the reminder of their husband. so you go into his food in the middle of the day. >> it's nagging and noxious. >> i would not give me nag me in
a new original way. look my wife made me a sandwich! >> it was so anti-woman. >> i'm a feminist and two daughters i worship my wife. sorry i don't fit in the commercial. what do you call it when a man is annoyed anything to his wife to do something. >> there is no word for that. >> he is not apologizing. i'm apologizing for all of the people who think differently than me. my wife nags me about things that i can't argue back about, not throwing up at me at night. [ laughter ] >> i have to pick my daughter up at 4:00 a.m.
so it's family. she asks me to do things you can't argue about. yes, i should get that done. i a.m. grown man. >> i don't think to understand the reality that guys don't listen which causes women to repeated themselves, repeat themselves. >> important to get things done. >> for the family and life. >> also like i said this earlier in five i get nagged for smoking. >> you should. >> exactly. but i want to smoke so just shut up. >> do they put a note in one of your cigarettes. >> they nag me and that is encouraging me to smoke more? >> my wife bought me a carton of cigarettes from russia. i'm a sad loner who all you
attention - americans living with limited mobility. what do you do when you can no longer get around like you used to? when you fear losing your independence? who do you call? call hoveround now, to see if you qualify for america's premier power chair. hi, i'm tom kruse, inventor and founder of hoveround. now you can do more, see more, enjoy life more. here's why hoveround makes it easier than any other power chair. hoveround is more maneuverable to get you through the tightest doors and hallways. more reliable. hoveround employees build your chair, deliver your chair, and will service your chair for as long as you own your chair. and most importantly, 9 out of 10 people got their hoveround for little or no cost. call now for your free dvd and information kit. and now every hoveround comes with this tote bag and cup holder for handy access to your favorite items. you don't really have to give up living because you
parts of the world. lauren, i want to go to you first. only of something you said in the break when we talked about it. what is the big deal. >> what is the big deal. donkey juice. [ laughter ] >> you are going to get so many marriage proposals. i can't wait for joe derosa. >> let me ask you. does it matter? i can't barely touch that sperm. it's pepsi. >> i really believe that urine could probably kill you. they should call it what it is, torture. if you like watching that stuff. >> bitter swallow edition.
[ laughter ] >> nbc used to the pinnacle, cosby show, family ties, great family value shows. seinfeld and now, and joe derosa but maybe it was his idea but now drinking donkey bodily fluids. >> if you have seen the seinfeld episode with what is the deal with donkey sperm? $50,000. the winner gets $50,000. mitt romney makes $56,000 a day. i would like to see that stunt at the debate. >> i would like to say, i like the way you brought it to politics. mitt is such a rich guy. where is the middle-class gone. after taxes you get $25,000,
$30,000 for drinking.... >> people are drinking pint glasses of donkey juice. >> and ron paul, his answer would be amazing. >> they are talking about israel and they are talking about donkey. >> i can drink a quarter of it before you sweat. i would have a contest about it. >> the gay marriage and newt would go, whoa, whoa and make a donkey noise. >> my bet is it's not going to happen. >> how do you have advertisers for something like that? i'm honestly disturbed by the story. it's not going to happen, "a", the show was cancelled and how are they going to get advertisers. >> it will be a viral thing. go to fearfactor.com.
>> i noticed it wasn't me on the graphic. michael, where can we find your new column. >> i have a new column that starts today that is called get off my lawn and first one is up right now. the first one is up about newt gingrich. >> peter, peter i heard you started steroid treatment this week? >> i had this illness. i went to a doctor, that was kind of a quack. i've been taking it for five days. i told him what he was on. you know you have been on steroids and i think it's going straight to my forehead. but acting erratic and also erotic. >> but it causes hair loss, i hate to tell. >> you where week read your column? >> fox