meet the hip hop doctor phil. plus one woman's mission to help our at risk youth stay in school and achieve their best. and world renowned jazz vocalist sings us into the holidays with a brand new cd all next right here on black renaissance.

i'm your host, doctor brenda wade. you might be looking for love but can't seem to find it or the love you got seems to be going up in smoke. who are you going to call? the love doctors. that is me and my guest i have the hip hop love doctor williams in the house. he lends his unique perspective on relationships. we welcome her this morning.

good morning. i should say hip hop love doctor. >> tupac. >> can we coin that? >> suppose a couple came to you for advice and you are the hip hop love doctor. and say it is the holiday and she wants him to go home with her to her family but he doesn't want any of the in laws. what would you tell them? >> the in laws come with the family and dealing with them is part of it. during this time of the year stress management is key. so that's your wife. those are her parents. you have to go. >> you have to go. >> if you go you have to go with a tool box. the tool box for stress management. i always say that stress is like fire. fire managed can warm your home and be very productive and good for you. but when you don't manage fire just like stress it gets out of

control and stress produces levels of court sewn and that's where the fight or flight movement. if you have sustained levels of stress it leads to diabetes. it leads to hypertension and heart disease and all kinds of issues. >> all the health issues we want to fight actually start with stress. >> absolutely. so i would encourage that they go to the in laws but they go there with a plan. they go there with the plan to separate. too much togetherness during the holidays is a bit much. participate and then separate. >> we are going to go take a walk while you guys have your after dinner drinkchise is when it usually gets crazy. >> absolutely. that is when the story comes out. >> and people are creating new stories. how did you get started being the voice of reason?

>> professionally i started in the music industry. i worked for loud records, rca in the early 90s and for maverick records and madonna label. i recognized there was a shift in the theme of hip hop music from consciousness to more massagennistic and materialistic. >> there has to be a way for all of our brilliant hip hop artists to come up with brilliant lyrics that don't put women down and degrade women. let me go on record. if you are that smart come up with a way to uplift women. >> absolutely. and i'm a firm believer that the way we treat our women will determine how qualitative our experience is in society. >> yes. i think it was winston churchill who said the true mark of a civilization is how

the women of that civilization are treated. >> once i saw that shift i recognized it was all about relationships. i dove into studying and readying and absorbing and starting to correct things i was doing in my own personal relationship. a a lot of times the perception of the clinician or psychologist you have a perfect relationship. i had to start with me. >> have you noticed that we are always teaching what we need to learn. >> absolutely. >> absolutely. it is so important. one of the things about you is you say i'm going to do self correction and then you brought that out for others. in what way? >> first off i recognized a relationship is a mirror. >> yes. >> i recognized it is a mirror. i said anything that i wrong with your partner might be an indication of where you need to start with yourself. >> yes and do some growth.

>> absolutely. so once i recognized that i started to chronicle my self correction and i started to notice similarities in my relationship. >> the patterns. >> absolutely. once i did that i said if it worked for me it may not work for you but it could be a starting point for you. and then you can find your own creative way to correct yourself. >> i love it. because that whole idea of doing the growth, most people don't recognize what you just said which is relationships are a mirror. they are for the purpose of our growth. if your partner is really there with you the two of you are going to grow. >> absolutely. >> that is what relationships are for. >> absolutely. >> what is the best advice you would give to couples during this holiday season. we know that stress and the tool kit is important. what else is important? >> i would say --

>> what about the people looking for love? we have lonely and horny folks out there. >> the holidays are a difficult time especially for people who are widowed. >> or divorced. >> or whatever. for me i think it is time to go out to parties, maybe a corporate party or maybe a group of friends. you go out and meet somebody. whenever you are meeting somebody at any point in time remain authentic. if you go desperate and trying to be something to try to lure somebody it is not going to work. it doesn't matter if it is christmas or easter just be real with yourself and be honest about what you want and need in the moment and be able to share that with people. if you are disengen world series you are going to get the

reverse effect. >> you will get somebody playing on the same level of the field you are playing on. it is all right if what you want is a mutually consenting adult experience be clear about that. if you are looking for love drink less and look for people who are drinking less at the party so you can have a real connection and conversation. a lot of times the holiday parties are an excuse to get crazy and that doesn't serve you if what you really want is an authentic connection. be real and what else? >> i think that is good advice. back to the point of relationship being -- and i'm writing another book on this. i say relationship is a classroom where the curriculum is you. >> thank you. on that note i want to tell people how they can get more of

your great advice. is he not brilliant? i want to thank you for joining us this morning and his voice of reason can be heard if you visit his website serious dateu -- serious.com. you are going to love him. i love him. there is so much more. stay with us.

we have to tackle tough problems and found solutions. the public housing developments can pose a real threat to a child's future. and the need for community support for these at risk youth is an issue of national concern. joining us is a woman who has made it her mission to help our children. welcome emily who is the executive director of opportunity impact. welcome. i love that name, emily. i was born on my grandmother emily's birthu day.

tell us about your program. opportunity impact. >> opportunity impact. we are located in the filmore district in san francisco. our aim is to work with real high needs youth, youth who face obstacles, barriers in their academic life, community and family home. our goal is to get in there and get in depth. >> what kind of heavy lifting do you do? >> we talk about skills and support leading to success. >> i like it. the three ss. >> skills and support leading to success. for support it is academic skills and personal skills. we try to be comprehensive. that support is anything a child needs whether it is a new toothbrush because the family doesn't have resources for that or its mental health services. it is so much more than tutoring or sports programs.

we want to address any and all of the needs the child cases. >> what are you finding in terms of the family configuration? are these youth coming from a family with one parent or no parents? >> 75% of our children are either with no parents or one parent. it is a small minority with two parents in the home. >> this is why i made it my mission to cut america's divorce rate within 5 years because we know 70% of children born into poverty will never make it out of poverty. we need to stabilize families. >> it is such a challenge that our children face. a single parent home is so much pressure on that parent. >> the parents are doing their best. >> they are working so hard. we assume those parents are doing their best. we are trying to bring

resources to fill the gaps. when a mom has four children and she is the sole bread winner she can't necessarily get to a parent teacher conference and her child suffers. we will attend the parent teacherrer conference and track down the mom and fill her in on what is happening in her child's academic life. >> what is the most important thing that a youth enderring your program would leave with? >> i think a sense of self focus and self determination. if nothing else that the children feel that they know how to get from point a to point b. >> how would a youth get into your program? if there is a youth or a family out there that needs your services. >> they can come direct to us.

opportunity impact online or also talk to their schools. we are going out to more and more elementary schools. our recruitment starts in third grade. we want students to sign up at the end of that third grade year. we want to prepare them before they start high school so by the time they start high school they walk away knowing how to get to college. >> we know the graduation rates especially for young black men are so low. in the state of california it is under 40%. that is unacceptable. we can do better than that. we have to do better. your program is one safety net. what inspired you to start this program? >> i think a bit of my personal background. my father was raised by a single mother. they were reliant on social services to make it through. a lot of people supported my father and his education and as a result he went on to college

unlike his siblings. what that plent my upbringing, it was something i was always aware of. i realize in one generation you can turn around the cycle. >> in one generation we can do it and it does take support. we are our sisters and brother's keeper. our children, every child is our children. i don't want to be in that old phrase but it does take a village and you are building another piece of the village and i'm so proud of you for doing that. what is the best way for us to support you? >> i say yes to everyone. we need volunteers. we always need cash. we always need new programs. we need field trips and internships. we need role models coming in to talk to our kids. >> beautiful. congratulations. you are doing something so meaningful. for more information on emily and her work you can visit her

website at opportunity impact.org. there is nor. stayu -- there is more. stay with us.

tis the season for joy and singing. that was nicholas beard, our jazz artist who has been

sernading audiences all over the world. that was his lovely voice. here is nicholas in action. ♪ [music] ♪ i believe in you. yes i believe in you. i hear

the sound of -- ♪ [music] ♪ was that gorgeous? that is why he is here to share his joy of music and a sneak peek of his new holiday cd we welcome back nicholas. thank you for being here this morning. >> a pleasure to be here. >> you are so thin. >> we are changing things

around. trying to bet a little healthier. trying to get ready for golf. >> is that it? where was that? >> that was at a place. the very famous bach dancing and dynamite society. >> i should have recognized it. you have the gorgeous view and the gorgeous music. that first song we were listening to, it had me enchanted as we were coming in. what was that song? >> that is a song i wrote called snow flakes. that is a part of a new ep compilation that i'm putting together that will be out in a couple of weeks for my holiday blues show. >> all right. >> it's a song i wrote some years ago when i was with ocpelo. the group is singing in the

background there. >> beautiful. it had a little bit of the floaty brazilian flow to it. you sing so many styles of music. you also can do brazilian. you performed with bobby mcfaren and all over the world with many years. what's your favorite style? do you have a favorite? >> i don't know that i have a favorite. probably r and b in its traditional form is probably where i would put my foundation, my anchor. but i love jazz. i love brazilian. i love latin music. all the standard swing and soft music. >> really? that's one thing i never heard you do, funk music. >> i have done it and will do

it again. >> we'll have to stand by for that. you have a new cd. tell us about it. >> that's what i'm putting together is this compilation. it is called snow flakes. it is christmas music. it features myself and also the great claire d. she and i did a number of christmas shows together. so i featured her on this cd. she'll be with me at the christmas show. >> perfect. excellent. i read your bio and i learned things about you i didn't know. you started sings as a child. >> from the beginning of time. >> how did you start? >> i have been singing as long as i can remember. i just looked up one day and i'm singing the popular hits on the radio and singing with my cousins and my brother and it

started organically. i don't remember a beginning. >> did you have formal training? >> not at that time, no? i have since studied as an adult and that sort of thing. as a kid i never had training. you just sang. >> just natural talent. you have the talent to just sing. not everybody does. did you sing in church? >> of course. >> so many singers started out in church. all the greats started out in church. >> my church experience we were in methodist church. it was sort of conservative. it was the church around the corner where they had to open the doors because the church was rocking so much. i always envied that. >> your voice lends itself because you have such a

melodious voice. it flows out. it is the voice that leaves a spell around you. i have your cd with the roses. >> all about love. >> and that is the most romantic. >> it is all about love. >> i love it. so now this holiday season we know you have a show at the piedmont piano. are you going to be singing anywhere else locally? >> i'm doing a bit of traveling for family and business. right now that's the only one that is happening locally i should say. >> now, one of the stories i love about you performing was when you went to russia. tell us about that? >> i spent a lot of time in russia this past year and will be going back again in 2011. my arrival in russia, however, was at the coldest time of the year. i was greeted in moscow with 25

below temperatures. i flew to -- for like 30 below. it is the edge of siberia. and then moving further east 41 below. >> we are going to stop there because you are freezing us to death. you are putting me in the mood for christmas music. you must have felt like singing a little holiday music. will you give us a little bit right now? >> would you like one right now? >> i would love one right now. all right, everybody. relax. >> how about a little winter wonderland? slay bells ring, are you listening. a beautiful sight, we are happy tonight walking in a winter wonderland. going away is the blue bird. here to stay is a new bird.

he sings a love song and we sing along walking in the winter wonderland. >> in the meadow we can build a a snowman and pretend that he is parse and brown. he'll say are you married we'll say no man but you can do the job when you're in town. later on we'll conspire as we sit by the fire. a beautiful sight we're happy tonight walking in a winter wonderland. >> i love it. now, everybody needs to go and hear more of this. your only local show we are going to have to fill the house is at the piedmont piano. go to nicholas beard network.com.