tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC August 16, 2010 11:05pm-12:05am PST
flip the script over the weekend. on saturday, he back pedalled, claiming he was not comment, quote, on the wisdom of building the mosque, merely affirming right for it to be built. tonight, we ask you do you think the president is leveling with the american people, or is he equivocating for political reasons? tell us what you think at the "nightline" facebook page or on the "nightline" page at abcnews.com. that's our report for tonight. i'm cynthia mcfadden. for all of us at abc news goodnight, america. >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel with exciting news. ea sports "madden '11" is in stores now. and it's simpler, quicker and deeper than before. and it looks great. especially the new gameflow feature. right, guillermo? >> yes, jimmy. it puts me in the helmet of an nfl quarterback. my coach calls the plays into my headset. so i can execute the game plan.
>> jimmy: that's right. why are you wearing two different shoes? >> i couldn't decide which was better. so i wore one of each. >> jimmy: oh. and why do you have a chicken leg and a turkey leg? >> oh, i couldn't decide which i wanted more. so i am having both. >> jimmy: you are very indecisive. >> i know. i am very indecisive. that's why i love the gameflow feature on "madden '11." the coach helps me make a decision. okay, coach! >> jimmy: the coach told you to kick turkey into the audience? >> no, jimmy. that time i called an audible. >> dicky: "madden nfl '11" -- simpler, quicker, deeper than ever before. in stores everywhere now! >> jimmy: "jimmy kimmel live" is back in two minutes with criss angel, music from ozzy osbourne and hayden christensen. ♪
>> jimmy: thank you. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. and, well, most nights, really. who in our studio audience tonight is here on summer vacation? [ cheers and applause ] and how many of you are teenage runaways here to steal my bicycle? [ cheers and applause ] about half and half, i guess. president obama had a little vacation over the weekend, on the gulf coast of florida. the president and his family spent just over 24 hours in the gulf. some republicans are actually attacking him for not staying longer. they do have a point. president bush, for instance, used to vacation for weeks and weeks. obama is trying to help tourism on the gulf after the oil spill. he even jumped into the gulf to prove it was safe. unfortunately, he did a cannonball right on to a
pelican. nothing goes right for this guy. this is him. you don't believe the water's clean? how about a pull my 9-year-old daughter into it? sasha, do not swallow, you understand me? do not let a drop of this film into your mouth. after the oil bath, the president took sasha to play miniature golf where, with news cameras roll, this is impressive, the kid dropped a hole in one. >> let's see it. oh, nice. [ applause ] tiger woods could use right now. one of my favorite characters from the world of sports was inducted into the basketball hall of fame this weekend. karl malone. a great basketball player. with the utah jazz. but even more than watching him play, i always enjoyed hearing him speak. >> more importantly, i want to just say thanks to everybody
here that make this possible. a lot of people was behind the scene. i want to say to all the guys that i played with, i played against, thank you, thank you for making me a better person. >> jimmy: that's right. that was a -- that wasn't a mistake. he's from paris. he's a parison. i was looking forward to karl's speech. out of nowhere, scottie pippen, the great player from the chicago bulls, swoops in, and with michael jordan on his site, out-karl malone's karl malone. >> who knew that number 23 would be here 23 years later, presenting me into the nba -- excuse me, to the naismith basketball hall of fame? m.j., you have touched so many people lives but none like mines. >> jimmy: right. [ applause ] that's true. and let me just say that -- a
mines is a terrible thing to waste. jordan had 300 grand on him screwing that up and he won. lady gaga was here in l.a. over the weekend. and once again, lord gaga nowhere to be found. lady gaga's fans are enthusia enthusiastic. she calls them her little monsters. asking the little monsters what it is that makes lady gaga so exciting. >> at only 24, lady gaga is in the top 100 artists of the decade according to billboard. one of the top 100 most influential people in the world, according to time. >> it's seriously like a disease. or lick an obsession. it's like something that you can't control. it just happens. and, like, i found it as, like, my responsibility to make sure that i infect everyone. >> jimmy: well -- [ applause ] those glasses -- 3,000 marlboro miles. meanwhile, on the other side of the popularity coin, on
saturday, tea tequila -- you know who this is? performed at the gathering of the juggalos in illinois. a festival for fans of the insane clown posse. they're terrifying. apparently, she's a rapper now. when she went on stage to rap, they almost immediately began pelting her with rocks, bottles and, yes, feces as well, which -- clowns throwing feces is the worst birthday party ever. she reacted exactly the way you're supposed to. she pulled her top off and flashed her breasts. that did not stop the insane clowns at all. they kept throwing things. eventually, she ran from the stage and hid in her trailer which they surrounded and rocked back and forth. who could have ever guessed that having her over for the insane
clown posse would turn out to be a bad idea? i don't know. apparently she got injured. my heart goes out to tilla and the entire tequila family. might be time to change your name to tilla velvita, change your image. she said, the owners who run that will be bankrupt. and if she does go through with the lawsuit it could be the perfect tie for this case. >> are you a recording artist or performer who has been injured by objects thrown on to the stage? if so, call the law office of greenberg and greenberg. we'll get you the settlement that you deserve. but don't just take my word for it, look at the satisfied clients. justin bieber, water bottle. lady gaga. angus young, unidentified liquid. and noel gallagher, a human
being. billions and billions of dollars. it can cause injury and humiliation. we'll teach you how to fight back. the law offices of greenberg and greenberg specializing in thrown object related injury since 1997. [ applause ] >> jimmy: well, that's -- you see what i mean when i said it seems ideal for that case. meanwhile, paris hilton -- paris hilton must feel like barbra streisand next to tilla tequilt, right? the company said she violated her endorsement deal with them. i too, am wearing a competitor's hair extensions tonight.
this is made from material found in a shower drain. but this company is called hair tech international. they're seeking $35 million in damages. which is ten times what they paid her for wearing their products. which means porti s paris hilt $3.5 million to wear fake hair. imagine that? that's more than she gets paid to wear nothing. so there you go. another reason to jump. this afternoon, the federal appeals court blocked same-sex marriages in california indefinitely now while it considered i guess the constitutionality of the state's marriage ban. which comes as a big disappointment to same-sex couples in our state. some of whom are very anxious to tie the gay knot. >> late today, sponsors of the gay marriage ban asked the appellate court to halt same-sex marriages indefinitely while they consider the judge's ruling. prop 8 supporters say it's the right call. >> jimmy: well, that's -- a good
way to get my ass kicked is what that is. so best of luck to them. there's a very unusual senate race going on in south carolina right now. republican named jim demint is being challenged by a guy no one ever heard of. his name is alvin greene. alvin greene is unemployed. he was discharged from the army. he's never held office before. he appears to be just slightly smarter than a rock. yet somehow they won the democratic nomination. people think he run because his name, alvin greene, was the first name on the ballot and people just checked it off. on friday, he was indicted on two felony charges. one of them for allegedly showing pornography to a teenager. on friday, a local reporter in charlotte went to alvin greene's house to ask him about this. and here's how that went. >> alvin greene didn't feel much like talking. hours earlier, a grand jury indicted him on a felony charge of showing this co-ed, camille mccoy, obscene photos on a computer at the university of
south carolina. can i just ask if you're going to keep -- are you going to stay in the race? >> yes, yes, yes. >> you are? how can you do that? >> go away. go away. >> as we were leaving, greene's brother jimmy came over. >> has he told you what happened? >> no, alvin doesn't have to tell me anything. we read each other's minds. alvin and i are twins. and chipmunks. >> jimmy: see, there's a lot you don't know about me. that's one of them. this is great, there's a soccer team in iceland, they've become famous for their post-goal celebrations. they score a goal and then they celebrate. a couple weeks ago, they had an elaborate routine that mimicked catching a fish. now they've come up with this.
>> jimmy: that's right, it's a goal. it's a goal. [ applause ] where were those guys while i was sleeping through the world cup? i mean, they had another one this weekend. if all soccer was like this, i might actually watch it. you live in iceland, you have a lot of time to come up with these things. we have a good show tonight. we have criss angel. music from ozzy osbourne. and we'll be right back with hayden christensen so stick
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>> jimmy: hi there. we are back. with us tonight, one of the world's most popular musicians. "mind freak" on a&e, criss angel is here. also tonight, music legend. music from the new "madden '11," ozzy osbourne from the outdoor stage. tomorrow night, justin long, juliette lewis and music from five finger death punch. and later this week, sharon osbourne, jerry o'connell, carla gugino, and t.i., so join us for that. i also want to mention our announcer dicky barrett and his band the mighty mighty bosstones start their tour this thursday night here in hollywood at the house of blues. with a very special guest on
bass clarinet, that being me. [ applause ] thank you. the bosstones then travel to washington d.c. -- allentown, p.a. -- philadelphia, new york city, at irving plaza, buffalo, detroit and finally the mohegan sun on august 24th. tickets are on sale at ticketmaster. our first guest is responsible for making the rat-tail hairstyle popular even in galaxies far, far away as anakin skywalker in "star wars." you can see him now with matt dillon, with regular hair, in the new movie "takers," opening august 27th. please say hello to hayden christensen. [ cheers and applause ]
it's good to see you. >> good to see you. >> jimmy: i have to say, i was -- [ cheers and applause ] ladies, please. he knows he's handsome, calm down. we're talking about -- i find it hard to believe, it was more than ten years ago since that "star wars" movie came out. >> it was ten years ago. i was 19 when i got cast. i'm 29 now. it was a little while ago. >> jimmy: that's something else. does it seem like it went that fast? >> it goes by in a heartbeat. >> jimmy: but the force has been with you since then. [ laughter ] do you get back to tattooing much? >> no, we get -- we filmed a lot of that in australia and then most of it in england. i just actually was back in england for a little while. >> jimmy: really? all right. >> was there for about a month, sort of traveling around.
>> jimmy: where did you go in london? >> i was in london for a bit. >> jimmy: heard of it. >> then i was -- i was exploring the english countryside. i actually went to the town of sand wedge. it was settled by lord sandwich that was settled by lord sandwich where the sandwich was invented. >> jimmy: they really invent the sandwich there? >> apparently he was the first guy to come up with putting sliced turkey between pieces of bread. >> jimmy: he's our greatest genius. i can't believe nobody thought of putting something between the bread before that though. >> i know. >> jimmy: it can't have been him. did you -- while you were there, did you have a sandwich? >> i had many sandwiches. >> jimmy: you did? >> yeah, i ate a lot of sandwiches. >> jimmy: and? >> and they were actually really good. >> jimmy: they were good. if i went to sandwich, i would giggle every time i had a sandwich. i had a very stupid thing happen to me at a restaurant. i wasp ing out of a restaurant
and the special was a meat loaf. as they came out, i ran into the singer meat loaf. and he said, hey, how you doing? i started laughing li ing like maniac. i said, wait till you hear what the special is. and then i left. [ laughter ] >> good story. >> jimmy: that's what you get here living in hollywood. the kind of thing that happens. so you're over there tasting sandwich, enjoying the countryside. what's going on with your farm? the last time you were here, you were planning to get some alp a alpacas or something. >> i was. that's -- that's still to come. i haven't gotten to the alpacas yet. >> jimmy: why? what's the holdup on the alpacas? >> you know, just other things to get to. i got to have an area for the alpacas. >> jimmy: oh, yeah, that's how the with alpacas. >> yeah. >> jimmy: so what -- you got sheep? >> i got some sheep now. >> jimmy: how many do you have? >> i've got about a dozen. >> jimmy: what do you do with sheep? >> you sheer 'em.
i don't know. they just kind of wander around. >> jimmy: do you use the -- you use the stuff for -- to make anything or -- >> not yet. >> jimmy: wool i guess they call it? what is it? >> it's wool, yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. >> no, i haven't figured out what to do with the wool yet. i've got a few bags of wool that are waiting to be tackled. >> jimmy: i think they need to be processed in some way probably. >> yeah, cleaned. >> jimmy: you know what, paris hilton could maybe use them for her head. she's having some legal trouble right now. you were in this movie with t.i., with matt dillon. who are your other co-stars? >> t.i., matt dillon. paul walker. michael eiley. it was really, really good -- >> jimmy: you guys play bank robbers? >> yeah, we're a group of bank robbers. it's a heist movie. we're going for sort of the ultimate heist. >> jimmy: t.i. must have been out of prison for five minutes before making this bank robber
movie, right? i mean -- he's one of the producers on this thing? >> yeah, he's one of the producers on it. >> jimmy: wow. >> it's cool, you know? it's -- it's a big action movie. got to go to work and fire guns and blow stuff up and -- >> jimmy: had you fired guns before? >> i had not. >> jimmy: you had not? >> i had to go and went to a firing range and a professional told me how to fire an automatic weapon and shotgun. >> jimmy: did you like it? >> it's very empowering feeling. >> jimmy: yeah. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: so you have a gun in your hand. >> um -- but i, uh, i enjoyed it. >> jimmy: you think you might kill in the future? [ laughter ] >> i don't think i'll -- i did seem skeet shooting actually after that. >> jimmy: oh, you did? that's fun. >> that is fun. have you done that? >> jimmy: i have. i'm actually in a skeet shooting club. >> are you really? >> jimmy: i get e-mails every
day. they won't stop. every day, i get results of the skeet shooting. yeah, no, but it's a lot of fun. >> it is a lot of fun. >> jimmy: you pull and you shoot. >> they fire off a little clay pigeon. i was not as good as i thought i'd be. but i was -- i got the hang of it. they're coming right on, at me, then i could hit those. when they're going side to side, that was -- >> jimmy: side to side is hard. you got to get t.i. out at that clay pigeon thing. i think that's a parole violation. we have a clip here from the movie. i think maybe you need to set it up a little bit. >> i think this is where my character's going to gather explosives and he -- he meets a few guys who are twice his size and a bit of a brawl ensues. >> jimmy: here we go. the new movie. it's called "takers." it opens august 27th. >> so, you want some c-4. >> like i said on the phone. >> let me see your category one
permit. >> permit? i thought this was supposed to be simple. >> it is. you've got a permit? >> my category one. >> yeah, it is simple. see, we take your money and you don't get [ muted ]. ♪ >> hey, whoa. hey, come on. should have kept it simple, huh? >> jimmy: you don't need a gun. [ cheers and applause ] hayden christensen. we'll be right back with criss angel.
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you can watch it wednesday nights at 10:00 p.m. on a&e. please welcome criss angel. [ applause ] >> yeah, very sexy. >> jimmy: i watched your show last week where you walked up the side of the luxor hotel -- >> yes. >> jimmy: that's unbelievable. how do you do that? just tell us. >> very, very carefully. >> jimmy: i mean that is just -- first of all who comes up with these ideas? >> yours truly. >> jimmy: wow. >> nightmares. i had a tarantula come out of a girl's mouth. i made it vanish in my hand. literally, i picked a girl from the crowd and i kissed her and a tarantula came out of her mouth. scorpion, excuse me.
i get them mixed up because i've done the tarantula too, but a scorpion. >> jimmy: yeah, you know what people get used to spiders and that sort of thing. walking up an enormous glass hot building -- >> luxor, 665 feet. i walked. took me almost 15 minutes. i did it in the public. you can't, you know, you can be skeptical all you want. but i'm doing it there. you can't fake that. there's people 360 degrees around, above, below. i got to do it for real. we're shooting it. people are watching it. taxicabs are almost getting into wrecks. >> jimmy: your mom's down -- >> my mom is never happy with me. hi, mom. >> jimmy: i had a theory for a while and i believe this strongly that you have an identical twin brother and that's how you do a lot of these tricks. the two of you -- >> how did you know? >> jimmy: not just with magic -- >> -- spoiled my whole career, thank you. >> jimmy: yeah that sort of thing. i've thought about it for an while. i don't think you do.
>> i wish i did because it would make my life a lot easier. i did ten shows a week at the luxor. 46 weeks a year, 10 years. so i could use a twin to take some of that responsibility because it's a lot of work but i love doing it. >> jimmy: you ever screw up when -- >> of course. >> jimmy: you do? >> of course. >> jimmy: how do you handle that? >> as an artist, the element of surprise i have on my side so the audience doesn't know what to expect. so i'm able to kind of -- i meant to do that. >> jimmy: i got you. community of magicians in las vegas -- i grew up in las vegas. it fascinates me. because there's a lot of, like, competition. there are rivalries. do you get along with the other magicians there? >> screw magicians. >> jimmy: really? >> no, i have some friends. lance burton's a dear friend. amazing jonathan. very funny guy. i have some really good friends. but -- >> jimmy: what about siegfried and roy? >> siegfried and roy are cool. they're good guys. they've been very, very kind to me. they believed in me when no one did.
>> jimmy: david copperfield seems like a creep. [ laughter ] [ applause ] all right. okay. so you're there for a long time in las vegas. you have this ridiculous house. it's, like, it's, like two of mike tyson's houses in the old days put together. that's the house you're in on the show a lot. >> serenity, yes. >> jimmy: serenity. you've named it after adult diapers. that's a serious thing, you know, when you actually have a -- it has its own name. that's when you know you've got a house there. how big is the pool in that house? >> it's 2,200 square feet. >> jimmy: that is -- most people's houses aren't 2,200 square feet. >> i've been very blessed. i didn't come from money. i used to drive a hyundai, 200-plus thousand miles on it. i had a dream. anybody watching right now. i was at where you're at now. believe in yourself. don't listen to negativity. you can live your dreams like
i'm living mine. you did it. i did it. and so many people can do it [ applause ] >> jimmy: i don't know, even if -- even if the best-case scenario, i'm sorry, but you're not going to get a pool like that. [ laughter ] you're just not. >> unless you're jimmy kimmel. >> jimmy: no, no, not even -- okay, so you're going to do a couple things for us. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: and what is this -- you've brought -- >> well, i actually -- they supplied this backstage. your producers got me a pad. i said, i want to try to get -- because i know you're pretty much raised in vegas. >> jimmy: i was. >> now i live in vegas. i want to see if i can get inside your mind. if i can show people at home the process of how i'm able to do this stuff. what i want you to do, jimmy, i'm going to literally turn around, i'm going to put my head in the coach, so i can't see anything because i don't want people to think i'm looking at monitors. write a number between 1 and 100. show the audience. don't let me see it. i have no ear device.
nothing that's going to aid me in this. >> jimmy: and i'm not in on this either. >> we haven't prearranged anything. before you do that, let me go -- i'm just going to go like this. >> jimmy: all right. wait a minute, what am i supposed to do? >> write a number, 1 to 100, whatever number you want. >> jimmy: all right. >> show the oaudience, don't le me see it, place it face down on the table when you've done it, face down. [ applause ] have you done that? >> jimmy: i did it. it's done. >> all right, because i feel like an idiot, i got to be honest with you. so check it out. >> jimmy: smells like hayden christensen down there, doesn't it? [ applause ] >> look, no comment on that. >> jimmy: that will be a -- that will be a good anecdote for siegfried and roy next time you get together. all right, so we got this here. >> we have to get serious. you don't have to say anything. give me your best poker face.
feel free to lie, not to say anything. your number's between 1 and 50, 51 and 100. wow, you're blinking a lot. so you're lying to me. i'm going between 1 and 50. >>. >> jimmy: okay. i wasn't lying. i just didn't know the question. >> no, no, no, but subconsciously, you're listening to me. between 1 and 10. 11 and 20. 21 and 30. you're trying to really screw up my mind. >> jimmy: i am? i promise i'm not. >> 31 and 40. 41 and 50. all right. what's interesting is that you said something i think when i was in the middle of that process. when i said 1 to 10 for whatever reason you didn't say anything. so i'm going to go with -- also blinked a lot less when i said -- so i'm going 1 and 10. all right. i'm just going to say some numbers. 1, 2. 3, 4. 5, 6. [ laughter ] 7, 8. 9, 10. one more time.
1, 2. 3, 4. 5, 6. 7, 8. 9, 10. it's interesting. you blink pretty much on every number except one and that was 6. is it 6? >> jimmy: it is 6. [ cheers and applause ] that is unbelievable! [ applause ] really, from my blinking? >> i'm looking at you. >> jimmy: we got to get you in the fbi. you're wasting your time with this nonsense. >> when you come to vegas, we'll play black jack. >> jimmy: you could capture osama bin laden for us. >> i wish i could. >> jimmy: tell us what we're going to do here. >> this is me kind of getting inside your mind by looking at how you're reacting to me. i want to take it a step further. i had no consequence. if i was wrong here -- >> jimmy: i can't believe you got that. >> so what i want to do is i want to put some money on the line. i want to put up $25,000, jimmy.
>> jimmy: all right. >> you want to make a little bet? >> jimmy: no, i don't. how about i just give you $25,000? >> okay, that sounds good. no, i have a $25,000 check right over here. i understand you didn't want to do this with me because you didn't want people to think okay, we did one demonstration, we have to make things interesting. so you had the g-man. >> jimmy: i think guillermo's always funnier. >> so a check, signed, from my company. if i get this wrong, if i don't find the check, you can do whatever you want with the 25,000. >> jimmy: for real? he can have it? >> he can have it. let's bring him over here. >> jimmy: look at him, sweating already. >> i had to ask, i said to the producer, i want you to hide us somewhere. they said, we're going to get some lunch boxes and create an obstacle course. i think they did that behind the curtain. let's show everybody what that looks like. >> jimmy: like "deal or no
deal." we have to do this kind of quick. >> i want you to take this. i want you to hide it under -- in any one of the lunch boxes you like. those are your lunch boxes. >> jimmy: we did, we set that all up. >> do that right now. jimmy, i'm going to cover my eyes. no one's tell meg anything. >> jimmy: i'm watching him guillermo. >> and when he gets back, he'll let me know, okay? >> jimmy: he's working on it. okay. he's working on it. >> eyes are sealed close, right? >> jimmy: all right. all right, guillermo, you don't have to be a wise guy. all right. okay. he's done. he is done. >> okay, check out now. everything fair? >> jimmy: yes. >> i have a bandanna here. and this is what we're going to do. it's called -- what it really is, folks, is muscle reading. i'm going to try to utilize the way that you react to me, your actions, and figure out what you're thinking just by the way you're moving. >> jimmy: he doesn't have any muscles.
[ laughter ] >> we're going to find out. check it out. all right. we're going to start out over here. i'm going to go around. i want you to walk that way. >> jimmy: he really get to keep that money? [ laughter ] look at this. this is, laike, the worst dance troupe ever. come here, come here, come here. go that way. it's not there. >> jimmy: no. >> it's not that one. >> jimmy: it is not in that one.
i could watch this for, like -- >> all right, come on, this way, this way, this way. this way. ladies and gentlemen, the money is -- not over here. it's over here. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that is absolutely right. >> yeah, right there! >> jimmy: criss angel, everybody. "criss angel: mindfreak" airs wednesday nights at 10:00 p.m., on a&e. and check out criss' live show "believe" at the luxor, las vegas. coming up, ozzy osbourne. it's the fusion proglide challenge.
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i'll grant you ♪ ♪ your death wish it's not just time i'm killing ♪ ♪ blood's thicker than water it's too late to surrender ♪ ♪ this will be your last stand i wash the blood ♪ ♪ from my hands i am warrior i'm fearless ♪ ♪ no pain, no mercy no weakness i, i, i -- i'm fearless ♪ ♪ i answer no questions you will obey my orders i'll punish all sinners ♪ ♪ this battle has no borders no saving salvation
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