tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC September 23, 2010 11:05pm-12:05am PST
and finally tonight, late breaking news. just after 9:00 p.m. eastern time, teresa lewis became the first woman executed by the state of virginia in nearly a century, killed by lethal injection, lewis refused to accept a ed is dive, and with her last words apologized to her victim's daughter. she was convicted in 2003 with plotting with a young lover to kill her husband for the insurance money. that's our report for tonight. from all of us at abc news, good night, america. >> dicky: it's the "jimmy kimmel live" fantasy league, presented by gmc. >> jimmy: hello, i'm jimmy kimmel. >> and i'm cousin sal. >> jimmy: you look football? i like football. they like football. let's talk football. >> some great matchups.
adam in a tight battle with jb smoove. >> jimmy: the sports guy, bill simmons slips by kristen bell by a field goal. >> dax shepard no match for kimmel. >> jimmy: thank, sal. and perry made soup out of joel mchale who handled the loss with a little something called sportsmanship. >> wow. what a surprise. i got beat by a legend from the nfl. >> thank you. >> and i would like to take you out to dinner, so, if you don't mind, i'm going to go to the cash machine and get $5,000 so i with pay for it. >> jimmy: what do you think of that? >> he won, did everything. i got a team here, too. i don't know what he -- you know -- he's getting that now. >> exactly. >> i'm still right here. >> jimmy: right. that's some exciting stuff. check out next week's matchups on the "jimmy kimmel live" youtube page.
>> the "jimmy kimmel live" fantasy league right here every week. >> jimmy: presented by gmc. >> oh, bang. i almost forgot. >> dicky: to follow all the auction, go to the "jimmy kimmel live" youtube channel for scores, videos and more. "jimmy kimmel live," back in two minutes with zach galifianakis. from "jersey shore," nicole "snooki" polis polizzy and musi trombone shorty and new orleans avenue. 100% pure beef times two.
it says you like soft rock. it says you like cool jams. i do like cool jams. it says you're not real. [ growls ] sorry. it says mackenzie ellerd got that exact same dress. [ screams ] it says it's the second switch. alright. [ switch clicks ] [ whistles and clapping ] [ male announcer ] at&t feels everyone should have access on the go, so we're making mobile broadband more affordable. introducing new smartphone data plans starting at only $15. at&t. rethink possible. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- zach gal fgal fin knack kis. from "jersey shore," nicole
"snooki" polizzi. and music from trombone shorty and orleans avenue. with cleto and the cletones. ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" >> dicky: and now, hold tight, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] yk hello there, i'm jimmy. i'll be hosting the show and performing comedy for you tonight. thanks for coming, thanks for watching. the city of hollywood is abuzz tonight. right behind our theater, the l.a. feast of san gennarro is
going on. this is something i started back in 2001 in my backyard, at home, for real, and now it's in my backyard at work, for real. all the food we eat goes to obesity. it's for a very good cause. that celebrating the life of st. genaris, the patron saint of naples. the emperor of rome forced him to eat can nollies until his stomach exploded. this is the largest annual gathering of men named tony on the west coast. since we do have a lot of italian guys roaming around tonight. we thought it would be fun to dedicate a new segment to them. it the bragging italian guy of the night. >> i used to eat them walking down the street with joe piscapo. >> jimmy: oh, well, that's something. [ applause ]
hook him up with snooki, you know? nicole "snooki" polizzi is here tonight. tonight on "jersey shore," what an episode. ronnie tried to give vinny flowers that he bought from another girl to sammi and angelina took a swing at the situation. i felt like i was watching home movies. now, my aunt chippy is in town for the feast. the studio audience met her. from time to time, she reviews "jersey shore" for us and she hates it. she didn't know that snooki was here. so, we showed her the show and had her do her review, and, well -- take a look. >> i just watched the latest episode of "jersey shores." and, nothing's changed. it still sucks. i think it was disgusting that
j-woww, whatever the trick her name is, is in bed with whatever his name is, and her, snooki comes in and she's playing with -- is there nothing that's distasteful? is there nothing that is sacred? are they just such pigs that it doesn't matter? and then, we have to hear from snooki about how her havevagina hurt riding on a bike. we don't give a [ bleep ]. it's happened to everybody. but we don't discuss it. there are things that are not up for discussion. get -- >> hello. >> and we don't discuss vaginas, snooki. >> jimmy: i've always said that. [ applause ] that's -- chippy and snooki.
i knew we'd get them together. it had to happen. on the other side of the reality show coin, "top chef", they have a spin-off show, it about pass try chefs. last night, they had to make desserts using penny candies, what you find in the big uns unsanitary barrels at the mall. seth used red hots because his mother loves them, and when it didn't work, he became very passionate. >> i felt like i had taken a chance to do something for my mom and failed. i can't do it. i can't do this. i can't -- >> i'm not sure what's going on with seth. and then i realize that seth was crying because he didn't put his ice cream on the plate. >> i'm totally on your team, man. i am on your team. >> i'm doing it for my mom.
[ laughter ] >> jimmy: red hots or for my mom. did he just say the red hots are for my mommy? i don't think that's been said on tv before. is it appropriate for a grown man to call his mother mommy? >> sure, yes. >> jimmy: wrong. [ laughter ] this is something. the end of an era, i guess. blockbuster video filed for bankruptcy today, because people didn't rewind, is why. experts say the bankruptcy had something to do with the fact that no one in america has rented a video since 1999, which forced them to close. and now where are we going to get a bag of microwave popcorn for $9? it works out well for me because i owe about $3,000 in late fees on a vhs of "the santa claus" i rented in '95. let's check back in with aunt chippy and snooki. >> i want more for you. guys will go with anybody. >> oh, i know.
>> any place, anywhere. they'll stick that thing any place they can. >> what thing? >> private parts. whatever you call it. >> jimmy: i think she will. [ applause ] i got to tell you something. it smells so much like sausage and peppers in here right now i'm ravenously hungry. i might eat snooki when she comes out here. bedbugs are back. i -- i don't know where they went, but there are bedbug infestations all over the country right now. and i'm sr.ry to mention that if you are watching the show from wed at home. i always thought they were imaginary, likes can i mo eskim. but they bite. new york has a massive problem. this is from a local cbs news. pay close attention to the woman behind the news anchor, on this
week's exciting installment of "behind the news." >> experts say it is also important that you try to keep the bedbugs out of your home. the best way, when you stay in a hotel. you might want to use a plastic bag. >> jimmy: they're everywhere. they are literally everywhere. the octo-mom is in the news again. she cannot afford to pay her mortgage, she says. who knew you could get a mortgage on a shoe. it's -- she and her 14 kids are facing foreclosure. they could possibly be out as early as monday. and, you know, say what you want about her, it's a terrible thing for the kids. so, to help them make a little bit of money, we had nadya drop the kids off this afternoon. that's about a third of the brood. now, we gave them jobs to make money. tonight's show is being produced entirely by octo-kids.
mira helped dicky barrett record the inhatintro today. okay. now, this is caleb in the tape edit room, cutting one of cousin sal's hilarious bits. this is -- well, that's guillermo. that's noriah. she's one of the octuplets. she's putting mousse in guillermo's hair. that's young elijah, giving one of our security guards a well deserved foot rub. and look who is in the control room directing the show, right now? you know what, he's -- just a kid, he never misses a shot. thank you. hold on a second. caleb, i'm -- what do you want, he's 5 years old? oh, and look at this. one of the little ones is working security, too. [ applause ] guillermo's been replaced.
wearing geraldo's mustache for some reason. this is kind of interesting. "sesame street" announced they are going to pull a music video they made starring katy perry and elmo. ♪ >> jimmy: they pulled it because parents complained about her outfit. i shouldn't say parents. moms complained about katy perry's outfit. meanwhile, almost every one of these muppets is completely naked all the time. ernie and bert are the only ones with decency enough to wear pants on that show. it is interesting determining when it's okay and not okay for children to see breasts. like, when you are born, it's okay.
then you get to be 4, it starts to get questionable. 8, 9, 10, totally out of the question. 16, 17, my case, like, 23, all of a sudden, it's okay again. it's -- so, hakuna matata, you know? "sesame street" is not as innocent as it used to be. they do some edgy stuff from time to time. i watched pbs last night and i was shocked to see this commercial. i didn't even know they had them on pbs. >> coming soon to dvd -- >> drink! drink! >> "sesame shore." learn to count. >> one, two, three, four, five, six! >> sing. ♪ rubber rubber sn♪ ♪ you're the one ♪ i wear you when i'm having fun ♪ >> and pronounce new words. >> grenade. land mine. grenade. >> me new friends like --
>> mr. pickles. >> and the snooki monster. have fun with all your favorites. ronnie. >> you know what's important? drink your milk every day. >> sammi. >> bitches, please, learn to share. >> want to [ bleep ]? >> d.j. pauly d. >> i love taking a bath. >> me, too. >> vinny. >> you want me to hold your hair? >> and j-woww. "sesame shore" coming to dvd soon. ♪ rubber rubber we're awfully fond of you ♪ >> jimmy: all right, that's -- before we go, one more check-in with snooki and aunt chippy, if we could. >> and let me tell you something. i think the f-word has been overused. overused. i mean, i know the f-word.
i could say the f-word, it's not a new word. it's four letters. but it is used as a bleep, beep, beep, beep -- >> i appreciate you giving me advice but i'm pretty sure that aunt chip is dtf, and that's all. >> what is hell is dtf? >> down to [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: we have a good show tonight. again snooki is here, from "jersey shore." we have music from trombone shorty and orleans avenue. and we'll be right back with zach gal fin knack kis. [ male announcer ] at cheez-it, we expect a lot from our cheese... what do you call a cheese that isn't yours? i don't know. nacho cheese! [ laughs ]
see, cuz' it's not your cheese but i said "nacho". [ clears throat ] la, la, la, la, la, can't hear you... la, la, la, la, can't hear you... okay... la, la, la, la, can't hear you!! ...that's when i decided to fully invest in my 401k. [ male announcer ] we take the time for our cheese to mature before we bake it into every delicious cracker. because at cheez-it, real cheese matters. where applebee's 2 for 20 is better than ever this season. more from the sidelines. [ whistle blows, crowd cheers ] that's right, boomer. applebee's 2 for 20 is stuffed with more flavor like rich and tender florentine ravioli with chicken and provolone-stuffed meatballs plus classics like the fire-grilled 7 oz. sirloin. one appetizer, two entrees -- twenty bucks. [ whistle blows ] back to you, boomer. the best deal in the neighborhood just got better. and the swami predicts total domination! and there you have it. [ berman ] there's no place like the neighborhood. open until midnight or later.
imagine what it can do to your skin. but dove isn't soap. it contains pure 1/4 moisturizing cream because, everyday moisture is the key to beautiful skin. and who knows moisture better than dove. ♪ [ spits ] ♪ [ thunder crashes ] ♪ [ male announcer ] movies just got more awesome. the new epic 4g lets you download
stop by, visit and gorge yourself on horrible things. on that note, from "jersey shore," snooki is here with us. also, unbelievably great trombone player from new orleans, this is his new album, called "backatown," trombone shorty and orleans avenue from the bud light outdoor stage. tomorrow night, we have an interesting show. our first guest tonight is one of the finest men this nation has ever produced. you know him from the movie "the hangover," from the tv show "bored to death" and soon from "it's kind of a funny story," it opens in theaters october 8th. please say hello to zach gal n galifianak galifianakis.
>> jimmy: how are you doing? >> good, thank you. >> jimmy: you -- you have got what appears to be lipstick all over you. >> oh, do i? shoot. >> jimmy: yeah, a little bit on -- >> i met snorki backstage. >> jimmy: snooki. unless there was somebody else you met. >> she had a stepladder and kissed me everywhere. >> jimmy: you probably want to get that off. it looked like you've been shot in the ear. do you -- by the way, do you watch "jersey shore?" is that on your schedule? >> is that on pbs? >> jimmy: no. >> i haven't seen it, i'm a grown man, so -- >> jimmy: you don't watch that. >> i haven't seen it yet. i look forward to seeing it. >> jimmy: how was your summer? it's not even close to off, by the way. >> let me get it off. it's very distracting. which side -- >> jimmy: it's both, really. you look like a raggedy ann
doll. there you go. now you look just happy. >> oh, look, my alcoholism coming through. what were you asking? >>. >> jimmy: what did you do this summer? >> this summer, i hung out. i -- i -- >> jimmy: that's it? >> i built a tool shed. >> jimmy: did you really? >> yeah. i built a tool shed two days ago. >> jimmy: really? >> yep. and live in north carolina and i have a little -- >> jimmy: you have a farm there, right? >> yep. >> jimmy: why do you need a farm? what are you farming? >> i don't know if i'm pronouncing it right. pot? [ applause ] no. not true. we have apple trees. >> jimmy: you do?
>> we have couple giraffe. >> jimmy: really? >> couple giraffes. just ride around on a giraffe. >> jimmy: do you like kind of the privacy of living in, on a farm? >> it's like 70 acres, so, there's a lot of nudity. [ laughter ] i'm naked all the time. >> jimmy: you are? >> a lot of paparazzi. >> jimmy: is that right? they're out there? >> yep. yep. exactly, yeah. >> jimmy: i had no idea they made it all the way out there. >> well, i call them in to take pictures of me. nothing's happened yet. >> jimmy: do you really work on the farm? do you do things? >> well, i mean, i -- i ride around in my pack or the atract of -- sit and think and -- we drink moon shine and -- >> jimmy: do you really? >> yeah. >> jimmy: who makes the moon shine? >> this guy that's been in prison for murder. i wish i was joking. >> jimmy: is that where he learned to make it?
>> no, he learned to make it and then learned to make it when he was young and then he murdered someone. in self-defense. >> jimmy: uh-huh. do you ever drink with him? >> no, no. i don't like to drink with murderers. >> jimmy: that's good. yeah. unregulated alcohol, you don't know the content of. >> but he's -- well, i don't want to say too much about him because -- >> jimmy: you'll get killed. >> he's a murderer. >> jimmy: you'll be growing on the farm. >> exactly. bury me. >> jimmy: so it's not like a big physical thing where you are out there, doing -- well, in hollywood, people will buy farms just kind of because it sounds good and to get physically fit. >> i just walk around and try to figure out where i can get wi-fi. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. so i can tweet. >> jimmy: are you out here in l.a. now or -- >> i flew in from north carolina this morning. >> jimmy: and how long will you stay?
>> i'll be here for a month. >> jimmy: for a month? here working? >> yeah, working on -- a lot -- motion -- a talkie. >> jimmy: a talkie. do you still have a place out here? >> no, i don't have a home. >> jimmy: you're homeless? >> i'm staying in a hotel. your show puts people up. >> jimmy: not for a month, though. >> two nights. at a hotel. one of the best best westerns i've ever been in, by the way. >> jimmy: it is. >> i don't want to come play, but my room smells like if a foot could fart. it's an old joke. >> jimmy: we don't have any way of knowing that. >> old joke. >> jimmy: before we talk about the movie, i want to mention "bored to death," which comes back on sunday. i love that show. i think it's terrific, i really do. >> yes. i've seen a couple of the episodes, very good this year, and more situations and -- funny
things -- >> jimmy: i saw that on the poster. more situations. >> trying to memorize what the poster says. >> jimmy: your co-stars are jason schwartzman -- >> is it? >> jimmy: yes. and ted danson is the other. >> very nice men, both of them. if ted danson will just shut up about being on "cheers." yeah, ted, we know you were on "cheers," who gives a [ bleep ]? >> jimmy: yeah. well, you know, if i was on "cheers" i would bring it up a lot, too. >> every time i walk into a room, somebody goes, "norm!" fat joke about myself. >> jimmy: you -- you look great, by the way -- [ applause ] you -- we met a long time ago -- >> lipstick and snooki. smell like a bruce springsteen cover band. >> jimmy: again, you have no way
of knowing that. >> no, i have no idea. >> jimmy: but you -- you got this show going and you do -- and now the movie career is going beautifully and this movie, i thought -- you were really -- this is some actual serious acting going on. >> yes, jimmy, it's a movie. what was i doing before that you saw? >> jimmy: well, i think that, well, it's just kind of odd to know you and to imagine you doing something, which is, as inherently foolish as acting is, because you're there pretending to be somebody else and it's dumb, you know, if you really -- >> it's silly. >> jimmy: i don't want to ruin it for you. you did a great job in the movie. i think it's going to be a big hit. i do. >> i really like it. it's a movie that's set in a mental hospital and i researched it before i even knew about the movie going on. >> jimmy: voluntarily? >> i researched the movie and the part and did, like, went, spent a couple days in a mental hospital -- >> jimmy: you did? >> yeah. >> jimmy: how do you get in
there? somebody make the call for you? >> ah -- i just called a facility and said, hey, i'm crazy, can i come in? that simple. >> jimmy: and they said yeah. >> yeah, so -- no, someone called for me from the film and i just sat and talked to some people and took notes. >> jimmy: kind of reminds me of a john hughes movie, there's that kind of good feeling there, but you know, some serious stuff going on. >> that's exactly right. >> jimmy: thank you. let's look at a clip of it now. >> there's a sclclip? >> jimmy: everyone gets a sample. and if they enjoy it, they can see the whole thing. here's "it's kind of a funny story," it opens october 8th. >> well -- i guess there's just been a lot going on in my mind lately. >> go ahead. >> okay, women, this is sort of difficult to explain, but -- see, there's this girl --
>> yeah. got you. >> and this summer school application that i'm really nervous about. >> summer school? >> yeah, it's like this super prestigious kind of -- >> why would you want to be in school in the summer? you should be on coney island bird dogging chicks. >> are you a doctor? >> jimmy: you're not. you're not. hey, zach -- [ applause ] this is -- tell us what's going on here. this is -- this appears to be president obama's helicopter. >> yep. >> jimmy: why were you allowed near it? >> i actually went to the white house and hung out in the oval office. >> jimmy: you did not. >> i did. yeah. >> jimmy: why? >> that's what obama said. i don't know, i mean, somebody invites you and you end up in the oval office.
it was really cool. he wasn't there, but it's kind of cool to be there and, he has, like, posters up. >> jimmy: he does? >> oh, like, hanging their -- >> jimmy: inspirational stuff? >> he's got a poster of hall and oates. >> jimmy: is that right? >> big hall and oates fans. >> jimmy: i didn't know that. >> this is a great name for an oatmeal delivery company. >> jimmy: you're right, it is. put it on a shirt or something. oatmeal delivery company, uncle frank. >> i didn't hear that. >> jimmy: he doesn't know. don't worry. if he heard it perfectly, you wouldn't know it. do you like oatmeal? >> i do. but i love him. i love jack. >> jack. thank you aunt frank.
>> jimmy: not anne frank, of course. never been in an attic. thank you for being here. would you like to stay for snooki? >> if she doesn't mind, i would like to hang out -- >> jimmy: i doubt she'll mind. zach galifianakis, everybody. "it's kind of a funny story" opens october 8th and "bored to death" sunday night. we'll be right back with snooki. ♪ i want a girl with the right allocations ♪ ♪ who's fast and thorough ♪ and sharp as a tack ♪ she's playing with her jewelry ♪ ♪ she's putting up her hair ♪ she's touring the facility ♪ and picking up slack ♪ i want a girl with a short skirt ♪ ♪ and a long lonnnng jacket ♪
>> jimmy: welcome back with zach gal fifianaki galifianakis. our next guest stands only 4'9", she's just slirgtly larger than the pick ms she loves. you can follow her adventures on "jersey shore" at 10:00 on mtv. please welcome nicole kwchlt snoo snooki" polizzi. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how are you? good to see you. thanks for messing with my aunt
earlier. y you slid right into that. >> she's totally dtq. >> jimmy: remind everybody what that stands for. >> down to [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: right. just saying. are you? >> i'm not even going to answer that. >> jimmy: all right. you know, we have this feast going on, which is, in new york they have a huge feast. have you ever been to that? >> i've been to, in the city, and all you do is drink and drink and drink. >> jimmy: and eat, too. you don't eat there? >> yeah, you have the pizza, sausages, it's a good time. >> jimmy: hopefully you stick around. >> i'm excited. >> jimmy: we're watching season two of "jersey shore" but you've taped season three of the show and eliminated one of the house mates. >> thank god. can't stand her. >> jimmy: angelina, who you guys all -- none of you like her. >> no. >> jimmy: but she's been
replaced by one of your friends. >> yeah. which is a good thing because i needed somebody in the house to party with, to have a good time with. angelina just wasn't that girl. >> jimmy: you were so serious in the past. >> yeah. >> jimmy: is that going to affect the chemistry of the house? because now you have a friend, are you guys going to go off on your own and ignore the others? not at all. if everybody loves me in the house, they're going to love this girl. all we want to do is party and have a good time. >> jimmy: just like zach. i think you can make a nice couple, by the way. is he somebody you'd be interested in? he's not a juice head. >> you still have my lipstick on your ear. >> yeah, i know. and somewhere else. >> jimmy: but zach would not be -- like, you could -- could the two of you, snookin up? >> i would like to watch the show to get to know her a little bit better. >> gtl, that's all you need. >> what's that again?
>> gym, tan, laundry. and fist pump. >> you know what nasa means? >> jimmy: what what? >> nasa? >> is that spaceships? >> jimmy: exactly right. now, snooki -- you were, as we all heard about, you were arrested for, i never heard of anyone being arrested for, the charge was, annoying people on the beach. >> what are you going to do? somebody's got to do that. >> jimmy: is that really -- have you ever heard of anyone getting arrested for that? >> i think it was a little too overboard, obviously, i started drinking at 10:00 and it's ka lated to being wasted at 12:00 and -- but i had a good time doing it and i didn't hurt anybody, so -- >> jimmy: what were you drinking? >> i was drinking soco, vodka, long islands, beer -- >> jimmy: this is between 10:00 a.m. and noon? >> yeah. i started drinking at work, i was funneling and then i went to
the bar after. >> jimmy: and you weigh, like, 43 pounds, and this is going to hit you -- >> i feel like i can drink any old eer man under the table. >> jimmy: really. yet you were arrested for annoying people on the baep. >> what are you going to do? >> jimmy: now you're in the house -- do you feel like you are make life long friends as a result of this? >> definitely, everybody in the house, we're so close. we have the same personalities and i feel we could be going to the jersey shore until we're 90. as long as i can walk and drink, my liver is still fine, i'm good to go. >> jimmy: at this rate, that's not going to be the case. >> i got my liver tested, it's 100% fine. >> jimmy: they said 100%? >> i think so. that's what i'm hoping. >> jimmy: speaking of being close, we -- it's complicated. we put together a chart here to kind -- >> what is that? >> this is the hookup chart we have here, all right? now -- you hooked up with
vinny -- >> pauly walnuts? >> he wound up here, i don't know how that happened. but you hooked up with vinny, you kissed j-woww and the situation. situation hooked up with angelina and kissed you, obviously, and sammi. pauly hooked up with angelina and j-woww. she hooked up with pauly and kissed you. vinny hooked up with you and angelina. angelina hooked up with, um -- with elmo, right? no? hold on a second. i think we got this confused with another thing. but i think what i'm trying to say is, if any one of you has a disease, you all have that disease now. >> no. well, maybe, but -- i don't want to think about that. >> jimmy: you ever get embarrassed that, you know, they send cameras into your bedroom and, you know, showing you, i don't know when they stop rolling. i would imagine they probably never -- >> they don't. never. >> jimmy: so there are video
tapes -- there are probably 70 to 90 sex tapes now made -- >> probably even more. >> jimmy: more than that? really. and do you wonder what they're doing? >> well, not me, because i only smooshed once. but the boys, they bring home four girls at a time, where they switch -- >> jimmy: yeah. >> that could be a lot of money. >> jimmy: it could be. i heard j-woww has an offer from "playboy" and do you think she'll do that? >> she has such a nice body and i think she should do it. >> jimmy: would you consider doing it? >> are you crazy? >> jimmy: i don't know. >> these are real so when this dress comes off, it's like down to here. they don't stay up. >> jimmy: upside down or something like that. have you been watching your friend on "dancing with the stars"? >> yes. and i was so nervous because, let me tell you, mike does not dance, when we got to the clubs,
all he does is this. so, mike doing the cha-cha or salsa, it's going to be bad. but i was very proud. he did the steps. he got through it. he didn't fall on his face. >> jimmy: did you vote for him? >> a couple of times, yeah. >> jimmy: is your family watching and voting for him? >> my mom, my dad. we're pretty much all a family, so, if mike embarrassing himself, he embarrasses all of us. >> jimmy: you guys, one thing you don't want to get is embarrassed. >> we already are, so -- >> jimmy: well, i have to say, for some reason, and i sometimes wonder what i'm doing with my life but i'm fascinated with what goes on in that house. and -- >> you would totally fit in. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. i'd be crying in the corner. >> no, you'd fit in. >> jimmy: i'd be beaten up by two of the girls and that would be the end. >> i think you're hot. i would take you. >> jimmy: well, thank you very much, snooki. you can see "jersey shore" thursday nights on mtv.
zach gal fifianakis is here, as well. we'll be right back with trombone shorty. takes a special kinda loco to pass...initiation. where the sun's so hot it rains fire. and there's no calling for help -- only reception your phone's gettin' is an angry look. just when you can't take any more... you gotta eat the flame. [ male announcer ] subway has turned up the heat! introducing subway fiery footlong subs. the irresistibly hot new turkey jalapeño melt and the bold-acious buffalo chicken, eat bold! [ biker ] subway fiery footlong subs. ride hard. eat fresh.
[ male announcer ] cowhide dries out. so does your manhide. regular men's body wash can dry out your skin. dove men + care is different. only dove has micromoisture to fight skin dryness. so that manhide of yours stays clean and moisturized... no matter what you put it through. dove men + care. be comfortable in your own skin. ♪ dove men + care, also available in a bar. ♪
orleans avenue! ♪ ♪ when the morning came i looked all around the room and i had no clue ♪ ♪ what it was i did or didn't do then all in a flash ♪ ♪ my memory came back around reached out my hands and you were nowhere to be found ♪ ♪ no where 'round i had you all night long i knew it all right ♪ ♪ when i asked your name that you were the right one ♪ ♪ but you were not there when the morning came i was making my way to the dance floor ♪ ♪ when i caught the rays sunlight of a pretty little thing ♪
♪ you know what i'm saying so i pointed to the bar ♪ ♪ can i buy you a drink you said let's keep moving ♪ ♪ ain't no time to think so don't think ♪ ♪ i had you all night long i knew it all right ♪ ♪ when i asked your name that you were the right one ♪ ♪ but you were not there when the morning came i had you all night long ♪ ♪ ♪
i had you all night long ♪ ♪ i knew it all right when i asked your name that you were ♪ ♪ the right one but you were not there when the morning came ♪ ♪ i had you all night long i knew it all right ♪ ♪ when i asked your name that you were the right one ♪ ♪ but you were not there when the morning came ♪ ah, focus group. so what are we testing here? that's our new pastrami grilled sandwich. oh, great. hey, are they happy we got rid of the rye bread? totally. they love our grilled artisan bread. they say it's the perfect compliment to the
man: we need a sofa. something i can stretch out on! woman: ooh... that will go with those lamps my mother gave us. or we could get some new lamps. or we could get no sofa. negotiating, eh? you got it! how about a nice home for our tv? how about doors to hide that drive-in theater? how about a cowhide rug? yee-haw! and the snacks? get their own place. let the marathon begin!
IN COLLECTIONSKGO (ABC) Television Archive Television Archive News Search Service
Uploaded by TV Archive on