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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  December 4, 2010 12:05am-1:05am PST

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and it's time now for tonight's closing argument. president obama made a surprise trip to afghanistan today, landing at bagram air base north of kabul. there, he credited the troops with breaking the taliban's momentum, saying the u.s. is making important progress in the war. yet, the doubts persist, as the taliban refuses to disappear and corruption in the afghan
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government just thrives. meanwhile, president obama's deadline of next july for beginning to withdraw all those troops is approaching. so, tonight, we wanted to ask you, are we doing the right thing there? can the united states win the war in afghanistan? we've already heard from many of you on facebook and twitter tonight. but join the conversation, tell us what you think at the "nightline" facebook page or on the "nightline" page at and be sure to watch abc news all week for our special series, afghanistan, can we win? the series begins sunday and runs all week long. that's our report for tonight. for all of us at abc news, good night, america, have a great weekend. >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel here with my pals guillermo, uncle frank and yehya at tgi friday's. the place to be for dinner or late night when you want to turn your frown upside down. because, in here, it's always friday. >> i don't think so, jimmy. >> jimmy: you don't think what?
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>> it cannot always be friday. >> jimmy: well, technically. it's the spirit of friday. >> no, guillermo is right. it's six day in the week. >> jimmy: there's way? >> six day in the week. >> jimmy: actually, there's seven. >> jim, next week it was tuesday. >> jimmy: right, but i'm sure it was like a friday because of the fun you had. >> are you calling uncle frank a liar? >> no, you some nerve. >> i've never been so insulted in my life. >> jimmy: you know what? i'm going to sit at the bar. >> good for you. good-bye. >> dicky: tgi friday's. in here, it's always friday. >> jimmy: "jimmy kimmel live" back in two minutes with animal trainer dave salmoni, music from metric and paris hilton. the droid 2 global. run a universe of free apps on the world's fastest mobile phone processor.
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>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight --
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paris hilton. dave salmoni and his wild animals. and music from metric. with cleto and the cletones. ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" >> dicky: and now, let's be thankful. here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: happy early thanksgiving to each and every one of you. thank you for sharing it with me and with my husband guillermo. it's a pleasure to have you
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here. you know what tonight is? thanksgiving eve, you realize? this is the one-year anniversary of the last time tiger woods had sexual intercourse. what a day this has got to be for him. in my family we don't give thanks anymore. we give big ups. we celebrate big ups-giving. we like to keep it fresh. thanksgiving commemorates the day in 1621 when native americans and pilgrims came together to share a meal. it was kind of the first pot luck dinner. you bring the maize, we'll bring the smallpox. and from there on -- president lincoln made it a national holiday in 1863 and almost 150 years later, this morning at the white house, president obama granted the traditional pardons of the turkey. two turkeys, in fact. i would have loved to have been able to watch this with real prisoners on death row. hey, look, he's pardoning turkeys.
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the turkeys, who got the pardons, are named apple and cider, which -- aren't those gwyneth paltrow's kids names? the tradition of the presidential pardon of the turkey goes all the way back to harry truman. and lately, there's another tradition that's been picking up steam. >> thousands and thousands of you were murdered this year so white people can eat you. >> jimmy: guillermo's annual pardoning of the cranberry. >> go, cranberry, fly. be free! oh, no. this is the worst gracias-giving, ever. >> jimmy: yeah, it is. i'm sorry. i think it's cran-apples that can fly, guillermo. >> next time. >> jimmy: maybe too many cosmos. up know what i'm saying? guillermo has been drinking cosmos lately. the girls on "sex and the city"
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another beloved american tradition is the macy's thanksgiving day parade. they do this every year in new york. they gave "today" a sneak peek of the parade. i guess because of the economy, they had to cut back on some of the more elaborate floats. >> time to get ready for, of course, the macy's thanksgiving day parade. >> that's right, john piper, the vice president, he's in new jersey and has a sneak peek at this year's new floats. john, good morning. >> hey, guys. well, due to the current economy, we had to down size the parade a little bit but i'm still extremely proud to show you a couple of the floats. we have some classic super heroes. we have bat man and spider-man and we have the incredible hulk, not to mention the smurfs. papa smurf, momma smurf and baby smurf. and, everybody's favorite foul, big bird. and, get ready to raise the roof, because we have a bunch of bouncy, bouncy balls of all the colors of the rainbow -- >> hey, john --
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>> green and blue and black and -- >> more coming up. don't forget, right there. thank you, john. bye-bye. >> jimmy: yeah, i think i'll sleep late this year. thank you. why is al doing this? [ applause ] today is the busiest travel day of the year. today is the day all the local news trucks crowd the airport to report on how crowded the airport is. if you want to get to your destination on time, experts suggest you leave in october. flying isn't a whole lot of fun right now. fortunately, the airport congestion doesn't involve me, i travel exclusively by hot air balloon. people are up in arms about the new security checks. did anybody come through the airport today? there were supposed to be protests today. people were going to intentionally slow the lines down but nobody bothered to do it. i think the new signs may have had something to do with that. i don't know if you saw these at the airport. well, let's see. if you are embarrassed about
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your -- yeah, you may opt out of -- you see there why it might make some people think twice about that. new congressman ron paul is suggesting that people boycott the airlines over this, which -- good. boycott. i'll get right through the line if you boycott. boycott driving during rush hour, too, while you're at it. i don't get -- i have a lot of complaints about the airport but i don't understand this one. a guy did try to get on a plane wearing explosive underwear, you know. it's amazing -- you know, we freak out if a tsa agent touches the outside of our pants, but black friday, we will hump each other's heads to get at walmart to save eight bucks on a psp. personally, i like to make the patdown experience fun. i hide a silver dollar somewhere in my body and if the agent finds it, it's his to keep. [ laughter ] it's like a treasure hunt. today, the -- [ applause ]
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thank you, thank you. today, the head of the tsa union spoke to our local nbc news here in los angeles to assure flyers that no inappropriate activity is taking place. >> seems like everybody is piling on the tsa these days, from youtube videos to headlines. but are people out there really as angry as all of that? well, today, we spoke with one of the agency's top union leaders who says, don't believe everything you're hearing. >> we are not fondling or groping anybody's, you know, genitals. >> jimmy: okay. [ laughter ] now i'm worried. i wasn't before, but -- i guarantee that guy drives a van. [ laughter ] thank you, spokesman mccreepy for making -- most people, i do think, understand that the security checks are necessary. but if you believe what you see on the news, you would think this country is on the verge of a revolution. a lot of anger is being directed at the tsa, which is no good for
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the workers who are trying to do their jobs. it's a big concern, going into a holiday weekend. so, today, the tsa released a public service announcement that will hopefully help calm people down a little. >> we're tsa workers. >> we're working hard. >> to keep you safe. >> under challenging circumstances. >> you think we like seeing your bodies? >> well, we don't. >> you're ugly. >> and fat. >> so fat. >> so fat. >> don't touch your junk? we'd be lucky to find it. >> if you have concerns about your privacy -- >> know you're not the only one suffering. >> you smell. >> so this holiday season -- >> shut the [ bleep ] up. >> shut the [ bleep ] up. >> shut the [ bleep ] up. >> bend over and shut the [ bleep ] up. >> jimmy: well, i don't -- [ applause ] they do make -- they make some good points. this is pretty -- this is funny. somebody posted this on youtube.
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a guy went into a barbershop to get his favorite rapper's face shaved into the back of his which is something we all do. when i was in high school i had cool mo d on my head. but see if you can figure out who this is he saved. >> we got a free hand going on right here. this is the first time. going to bring it back again, see some stuff where i kind of -- could have did differently on. just the taper. drake. >> jimmy: let's see one more time that likeness of drake. yeah, that's drake all right. that is drake, shortly after his face was run over by a steam roller. i want to see the part of the video where he shoots his barber. fortunately, it's on the back of his head, so he'll probably not
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even notice. tonight here on abc we rang the holidays in with a primetime special called "celebrity plastic surgery gone too far." who says there are no holiday programs for the family anymore? it was -- it was interesting. actually made me think twice -- i was planning on having botox injections to get the wrinkles out of my knuckles over the break, but -- the star of the show was heidi montag of heidi and spencer fame. she had a lot of plastic surgery for no reason whatsoever. she said she was addicted. in january, she had ten surgeries in one day. and it's a shame. she was a very pretty girl and now she looks like this. >> you represent, right now as we sit here, the queen of plastic surgery. >> well, there's nothing you can do to -- >> jimmy: actually the most animated i've ever seen her. and they spoke to the lead singer of the band dead of alive. you remember that band from the '80s? well, he's not dead. he's alive. and he looks great. >> the british singer won
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international fame with the '80s hit "you spin me right round." >> i woke up after doing a song and my lip was 18 inches away from my face. it was like this big. just swollen. >> you know who he looks a little bit like? the octo-mom, yeah. [ laughter ] um -- one more thing. to really ring in the holiday season if we haven't already, we took the audio from the big plastic surgery special tonight and we combined it with a scene from "the flintstones." and i have to say, look out, peanuts, i think we have a new holiday classic on our hands. >> so, when you feel your face now, does it feel stiff? >> no, it feels a lot better than it did. >> yeah, i do that, i massage my body and my breasts. mainly my breasts. but -- >> because? >> just because, to keep them good and sometimes when they get
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a little heavy, i just do a little massage. >> so do you feel stuck with them now? >> yes, i feel stuck with them now, i really do. i don't want the biggest boobs in the world. and to be honest, i would take them out and down size them, but i don't want to go under the knife again, you know, because i do look at that, like you said, fresh faced girl, and that is who i am. >> jimmy: oh, well -- [ applause ] hey, we have a fun show for you tonight. backstage right now that's dave salmoni from animal planet. that's an 8 week old african leopard that is going to kill us. dave has a bunch of dangerous animals with us. also tonight, we have music from metric. and we'll be right back with paris hilton, so stick around.
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>> jimmy: hi there, welcome back to our pre thanksgiving extravaganza. with us tonight from animal planet, dave salmoni is here with a baby leopard, a baby pig, and a baby baby. it's a human baby that he keeps in a pen. it's adorable. also tonight, this is their latest album called "fantasies." from canada, metric is here from the bud light stage. hey, i -- i got a big deal. i'm smoking a turkey tomorrow. i ordered a turkey from a farm, an organic turkey. a lot of turkeys get injections and they have artificial hormones added -- they're like the heidi montags of birds. but this turkey, i ordered, grew up eating nothing but yogurt and granola bars. really good. they're healthy turkeys. so, i ordered one, i got this e-mail. mr. kimmel -- as you may know, the midwest was
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hit with some very nasty weather a few weeks ago. we had numerous tornadoes and wind gusts up to 90 miles an hour. unfortunately, my barn was blown away. i lost 470 of my 800 turkeys. parts are still hanging from the trees. i think he means of the barn, but -- that being said, i may be short on the heavier 18 to 20 pound turkeys. i wanted a 20-pounder. i'm eating alone. and -- if that is the case, i'll send you two 15-pound turkeys. the total weight would be well over 20 pounds, so would you almost be getting a free turkey. i'll plan on sending you two turkeys. you think the heavier turkeys would not have gotten carried away in the tornado. but thank you for supporting. so i got this -- i like to imagine, like, some family in kansas was just sitting down at the dinner table and a dozen organic turkeys came crashing through their roof, right onto the table. uncle sitting there with knife and fork, you know?
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but anyway, my turkeys are tornado survivors, so -- i don't know -- [ applause ] i mean, what do you do? i don't know if i should eat them or get them therapy. i'll probably eat them since they're dead already. but tornado turkeys at the kimmel house this weekend. it's going to be good. yeah, thank you. [ applause ] i -- all right, i should move along. our first guest tonight was kind enough to take some time off from whipping potatoes and candying yams. you know everything about her and more and now you can smell like her, too. her new fragrance is called tease, and you can hear her voice in "the dog who saved christmas vacation," this sunday night at 8:00 on abc family. please say hello to paris hilton. [ cheers and applause ] happy almost thanksgiving. >> happy thanksgiving.
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>> jimmy: how does it work? do you have servants that are preparing the holiday feast? >> no, it's my mother, she's an amazing cook. >> jimmy: you don't think of your mother as a servant? well, i think of mine as one. >> she's amazing. >> jimmy: how many people come to the house? >> well, tonight, we're doing my mom and dad's 32nd anniversary dinner over at my grandfather's house, my dad's side and tomorrow night is my mom's side. >> jimmy: is it a big deal? how many tornado turkeys do you guys have? >> i don't know if we have tornado turkeys, but we have a lot. >> jimmy: they're hot, they're huge, all the things that you should have. a tornado turkey. i'll send one by. look for it in the sky. >> all right. >> jimmy: i know you got into a little trouble in las vegas. maybe more than a little bit of trouble. you -- the good thing is, you did not learn a lesson from this, did you? >> i actually -- i did learn my lesson. and i'm very well behaved. i'm on my best behavior. >> jimmy: i can see that, because you are doing your community service, and, of course, the paparazzi join you
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to help out. how do they find out -- isn't that supposed to be private? >> they follow me from my house every morning. >> jimmy: wonderful. but this is what i really like. now, there you are doing community service. and if you glance down, you can see, you have chosen to wear high heels. >> yeah. >> jimmy: was that a mistake or intentional? and -- and they got ruined, too. they got paint all over them. >> they're my painter heels. they're only two inches. >> jimmy: these are the painter heels? >> it's much harder to do it in heels. >> jimmy: i know it is. that's why you shouldn't wear heels. >> i should get more hours for that. >> jimmy: this, by the way, is the greatest community service photograph ever taken of anyone ever. this is -- [ applause ] well, what are you going to do, there's cameras -- >> well, i was actually doing a twitpic. my twitter.
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i had my assistant taking a picture of me for twitter. >> jimmy: while you were painting -- you were getting rid of gang graffiti. are you worried? >> i'm worried about that. >> jimmy: did you recognize the tags? while you were putting them up? >> i'm not really into the whole tag world but -- >> jimmy: you should figure it out. because there could be some angry guys with spray paint roaming around. do you have a boyfriend now? what is going on with you dating-wise? >> yes, i've been with the same boyfriend for over nine months now. >> jimmy: nine months now, okay. so, do you think it's a serious thing? >> it's a very serious thing. we're really happy. >> jimmy: you are. are you the kind of person that would put pressure as far as, maybe, i'd like to see something happen marriage-wise? >> you know, right now i'm just so happy. he's my best friend so we'll see what happens. >> jimmy: wait a minute now. i saw a television show where you picked a best friend and he wasn't it. >> no, i'm still friends with them. >> jimmy: are you telling me that show was not your real b-f-f?
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>> it was. >> jimmy: it was? you had, like, you have like 100,000 people filming you here backstage, right? are you doing a different show now? >> we are doing my new show. >> jimmy: what is that? >> the new show is actually about my real life and my real friends and family and just everything that goes on. it's a lot different than anything i've ever done. >> jimmy: it's not a competition thing where people get to be your sister or cousin for awhile? or anything like that? >> no, all the real people in my life. >> jimmy: all the real people. and is everybody -- like, do they want to be in it? your sister doesn't do a lot of this kind of stuff. is she involved? >> she is. she's very shy. we're the exact opposite. she likes, you know, being behind the scenes. >> jimmy: does she get annoyed when you bring the camera crew >> she doesn't really like it sometimes. >> jimmy: she doesn't. but she's in it because she has -- >> she loves me. >> jimmy: yes, part of being a good sister. now, this perfume, is this a perfume or a fragrance? what is the difference? >> same thing. it's my tenth. >> jimmy: your tenth? that seems like too many fragrances, to me.
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>> well, they're doing really well. >> jimmy: do you switch them out and wear them as they go? >> i actually wear a different one every day. >> jimmy: why is it called tease? >> because when you wear it, it's like being a tease. and it's -- see, my picture looks like marilyn monroe. i wanted it to kind of be like how she was. she was so teasy-ish. >> jimmy: for sure. that is how i would describe her, teasy-ish, for sure. >> if that's a word. >> jimmy: and this is a weird thing. that -- you're doing an animated show for abc family. what's the name of it, "the dog who saved christmas vacation," which kind of ruins the ending. the title, by the way. >> it's a family movie and i love family movies and i love animals -- >> jimmy: do you really? you love family -- >> i play an animal. >> jimmy: what do you play? >> i play a really cute poodle. i get there to do the voiceover, it's a big giant standard poodle, and, like, great, i was expecting a teacup.
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i'm playing this huge poodle. >> jimmy: how many animals do you have right now? currently in your -- >> i have a lot. >> jimmy: in your farm. whatever you've got going there. >> i have a lot of pets. >> jimmy: you have dogs, i know. >> dogs, cats, parrot, a pig. >> jimmy: what happened to the kinkajou? >> i still have -- i have two of them. >> jimmy: you have a ranch? and they run around, or somebody watches them? >> well, they have, like, an enclosure they're in that's very large. we have someone that watches them. >> jimmy: you used to carry that thing around and i heard it was dangerous. >> it got a little crazy one night. >> jimmy: it did? >> yeah. >> jimmy: really? what do you mean? what kind of crazy? >> ending up in the hospital crazy. >> jimmy: it had a drug overdose? >> no, no. it bit my leg and they thought it had rabies. so, they said, we have to figure that out. how do you do that? you cut its head open. is it going to live? they're like, no. i'm like, no, you're not doing that. >> jimmy: you didn't check them
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before you bought them? >> no, they just thought that it got it. >> jimmy: how would it get rabies at your house? >> living outside, maybe a squirrel came in the cage -- well, it didn't have rabies, i'm here today. >> jimmy: we have a lot of animals back stage right now and you are -- maybe you get to take one home if you pick one out that you like -- >> i would love that. >> jimmy: paris hilton, everybody. you can see her in "the dog who saved christmas vacation" on sunday at 8:00 on abc family. and her new fragrance is called tease. we'll be right back with dave salmoni and animals. [ male announcer ] this is the evo 4g. this is android, which powers the evo. this is something nice someone said about the evo. so is this. ♪ and this. and all this.
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jijijijijijijijijijijijijijijiji chooyeah! i thought we'd eat at hey, you ghome. save some money. $200 bucks? that's not saving! [jacks voice] at my place i'm bringing back the bonus jack. two patties, melting cheese and my secret sauce plus fries and a drink for only $3.99. i get it. you can eat lot cheaper atouar placthan y c]caat home. but do have this? i have dessert. what about this? ohhh. ohhhhhh. jack. that's for max.
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come on... isn't it time an auto insurer gave it to you straight? that's why you should talk to state farm. but not yet. first, talk to any one of the 40 million drivers who already have state farm. 40 million. yeah, that's more than geico and progressive combined. by a lot. 40 million drivers. more savings. and discounts up to 40%. where else you gonna get discounts like that? call an agent at 1-800-state-farm or go online. >> jimmy: well, hello, we are back with paris hilton. metric is still to come. on the night before thanksgiving, it seems odd to welcome a canadian guy with a bunch of animals we can't eat here tonight with some of the wonders of the wild from animal planet, dave salmoni. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: dave, this is paris.
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she also loves animals. and what have we here? >> this is a little leopard. >> jimmy: it sure is. baby or midget? >> baby. 8 weeks old. >> jimmy: that is cute. but also looks deadly. >> would you like to hold him? >> jimmy: no, i would not. >> are you sure? >> jimmy: i've never been surer of anything in my life. >> good instincts. he bit me earlier. >> jimmy: what? >> a little nip. at this age, they're pretty dangerous. they look super cool, they are awful pets. he's going to be 210 pounds and -- >> jimmy: why is he doing that thing with his teeth? >> just looking around. >> jimmy: they can pounce. why are you feeding paris to him? >> i know you're not going to do. show you up. >> jimmy: i have no problem being a coward as long as my face remains on. >> watch your face, he will definitely bite it. >> so cute. >> they have the worst tempers of all the animals in the bush. these guys, i've seen them in the wild, come down trees --
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>> jimmy: paris is comfortable with this animal. >> old pro. >> i held these in africa. >> jimmy: that would make a beautiful, like, purse -- >> no. that's awful. >> these guys are -- the conservation of these guys is doing really well because out in africa they started a model out there where they are supporting the people that live with these guys so they mean jobs. people go out there and go on safari and pay to see the animals and create jobs -- >> jimmy: and is anyone killed on the safaris? >> yeah. >> jimmy: oh, great. >> jimmy: sounds like a great trip for the kids. how are we going to restrain this animal? as i switch over -- i see her claws are coming out right now. >> this guy is pretty calm. >> jimmy: is that a -- it's a boy? can we have this animal incarcerated? yes, wonderful. oh, my god. >> this is our bearded pig. start feeding him food there, jimmy. >> jimmy: what does it eat?
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>> those things. do i peel it? >> if you want to. otherwise just give it right to him. >> jimmy: i would like to see him eat wit the thing on there. all right. well -- so, these -- these you can eat, too, right? >> the pigs? he's super cute. and he's very -- >> jimmy: i wouldn't say super super cute. i'd go with just one -- >> i'm scared of this one. he is cute, though. five times bigger than this. >> jimmy: it's making horrible noises, too. it doesn't look like a regular pig. >> ew! >> this guy is called a bearded he's starting to get his beard on the side there. >> jimmy: we all are, sure. starting to get the beard and he'll be able to buy liquor and stuff. when it finally grows in? >> be able to grow a mustache. >> jimmy: you don't like bananas?
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what's wrong with you? all pigs love bananas. >> this pig is completely a fruit eater. this guy is generally a fruit guy. >> jimmy: i like fruit eaters. let's bring out only fruit eaters, if we could. >> he follows monkeys around in off the ground, he gets it. >> oh, my goodness. >> he's okay. >> jimmy: we should probably get him in the smoker for tomorrow, right? >> no. >> jimmy: all right, there you go. do you know this guy? >> anybody who comes over my shoulder -- oh, what is this? >> this is a horn bill. check this out. he's going to eat -- >> does it bite? >> he will bite but not hard. nice and soft. the thing that's weird about them is they peck really hard. >> oh, great. >> jimmy: they peck really hard? >> not so much the bite, it's the peck, so -- these guys actually are nuisance in south africa because they go up to a window -- here, buddy.
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you guys are totally fine. >> jimmy: oh, wow. oh, no. now -- quick question. are you wearing a cup? because he is a pecker, so be very careful. >> totally safe. you can touch his beak. >> jimmy: wow. >> he won't hurt you. >> another thing about these guys that in -- they are hunted by some of the locals because their brain is supposed to be good luck so they kill a lot of these things. >> jimmy: oh, really? their brains are good luck? >> but they are bad luck because they say if one of these lands on your house, death follows. >> jimmy: you try to get the brains -- >> here you go. there's some grapes for you. >> jimmy: wow, pretty impressive. now what does he do with it? >> hopefully he'll eat it. another thing i don't like about them in the wild is, they make a
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contact call that sounds a lot like a lion. i'll be walking through and i'll think a lion is nearby and it's not. >> jimmy: do you think they're imitating lions? oh, now, this is what i like. that is -- that's something else. >> i brought you -- you can actually hold -- >> jimmy: i would hold that. it's not like -- it's not viciously -- secretly vicious? >> put your hand under its chest like that and support the back. >> jimmy: look at how brave i am. here you go. oh, i love him. that's a lot of -- it's like -- i feel like i was attacked by a pair of uggs. >> that might be the first animal i got you to hold. that was great. you know, we always -- i always try to get the message out there that the animals make horrible pets. exotic animals are not great pets. this is actually a domestic animal.
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this is the one you could have if you wanted. >> jimmy: you order that on the internet for the kids? >> i don't think you want to do that. but you can go to somebody who is a good breeder, you can have one of these. one thing you have to watch out for is they actually grow hair so big, you have to cut their hair four times a year. >> jimmy: and you can make things out of the hair. >> sweaters, scarves. >> jimmy: you could have a hell of a pillow fight with that thing, too. you know? >> you probably could. >> jimmy: look at how stoned he is. look at him. his eyes are all red. he's like -- [ laughter ] all right, now, what else do we have? i know we have one more -- >> i'm not very -- >> jimmy: this one i'm not so excited about. >> i'm not an expert in these ones. >> jimmy: what do you mean? wait a minute. this is the how many time? >> oh, no. >> paris, put your feet back a little bit. >> jimmy: oh, my god. >> this is a cobra. >> get it away from me. >> jimmy: get it away from us.
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could that thing eat, like, that rabbit? oh, wait a minute. the only thing protecting me is that hanger you bent? now -- are these -- these are poisonous, right? >> they are. >> great. >> there's different kinds of ven venom. this guy is what they call neuro toxin. >> jimmy: so this is a neuro toxin. >> that means basically it will stop all your nerves and your lungs will stop working. >> jimmy: oh, i need that. why is he coming at you like that? >> he thinks i'm a tree. he's trying to climb up. >> jimmy: he thinks you're a tree? >> not trying to get me. >> jimmy: what an idiot. >> you can see some of the scales peeling off the back of his hood there. you see that hood? >> jimmy: isn't the hood when they get -- >> he's threatening me. >> jimmy: what? >> i'm big and tough. >> jimmy: you have ever been bit?
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>> only the second one i've ever handled, so -- i'm 2 for 2 so far. >> jimmy: really? can we feed him a grape? >> i don't think so. these guys are more -- >> jimmy: can we spray him with paris hilton's tease? he'll be the envy of the jungle. it's almost as if he's fallen asleep on us. his thing is still spread and he's ready to attack. what he probably thinks is his mate, which is in your pants right now. >> oh, no. >> jimmy: well, thank you, dave. dave salmoni from animal planet. he's a large predator expert and thanks to the animals, too. thanks, paris. we'll be right back with music from metric. come on, kids, come inside. the droid 2 global.
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run a universe of free apps on the world's fastest mobile phone processor. the droid x. a 4.3-inch screen. summon movies and nfl content at your command. now get a droid x or droid 2 global by motorola for $199.99 and get any phone free. good. they're just changing the oil. we're in. here we go. ♪ [ cheering ] i'm going to go check on the fellas. ♪ you guys almost done? ah, it's going to take a while. you're, uh, leaking diesel fuel. it's not a diesel engine. yeah, that's why it's so bad. [ male announcer ] it's the sure sign of a good time. the just right taste of bud light. here we go. [ drill whirs ] [ chuckles ]
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enterprise... hi, i'm at the repair shop. i need to rent a car. enterprise will arrange to pick you up... this is great! you to our place, and get you on your way. pick enterprise. we'll pick you up. pick enterprise. we always make time for just us cousins. like the other night at olive garden. hey susan, you gotta tell the aunt jessie story again. -yes, you do! -ok, ok. joe: love that story. try olive garden's two new scaloppini dishes. pan-seared chicken breasts in a lemon-herb glaze. or sauteed pork in a creamy white wine sauce. both served with asiago filled tortelloni. with our unlimited salad and breadsticks. this is like being back at the kids' table. [ laughter ] olive garden. when you're here, you're family.
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>> jimmy: this is their latest album, it's called "fantasies." here with the song "gold guns girls," metric. ♪ ♪ all the gold and the guns in the world couldn't get you off all the gold ♪ ♪ and the guns and the girls
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couldn't get you off all the boys all the choices ♪ ♪ in the world i remember when we were gambling to win everybody else said ♪ ♪ better luck next time i don't wanna bend let the bad girls bend i just wanna be your friend ♪ is it ever gonna be enough is it ever gonna be enough is it ever gonna be enough is it ever gonna be enough is it ever gonna be enough ♪ ♪ is it ever gonna be enough all the lace and the skin couldn't get you off ♪
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♪ all the toys and the tools in the box couldn't get you off ♪ all the voices never stop i remember when we ♪ ♪ were gambling to win everybody else said better luck next time i don't wanna bend ♪ ♪ let the bad girls bend i just wanna be your friend why you givin' me a hard time ♪ ♪ i remember when we were gambling to win everybody else said ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ♪ ♪ is it ever gonna be enough is it ever gonna be enough is it ever gonna be enough ♪ ♪ is it ever gonna be enough is it never gonna be enough ♪ ♪ is it ever gonna be enough
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♪ ♪ more and more more and more and more and more and more and more more and more ♪ ♪ more and more and more and more and more more and more more and more ♪ ♪ more and more and more and more and more and more more and more ♪ ♪
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♪ ♪
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>> jimmy: all right, well, once again, that's metric's album, it's called "fantasies," and it it is available for purchase now. thanks to metric for being here. thanks to paris hilton for in


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