tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC December 10, 2010 12:05am-1:05am PST
activity today as the lame duck congress struggled over the steer major year end issues to a vote. one issue the senate did decide was the ban on gays serving in the military. a repeal of don't ask, don't tell, fell three yes votes short of passing. in a vote some legislators said was called prematurely. so, we ask you, should the military end its ban on gays serving openly, or does the policy remain in place for good reason? we've already heard from many of you on facebook and twitter tonight, but join the conversation and tell us what you think at the "nightline" facebook page or on the "nightline" page at abcnews.com. and finally tonight, shocking scenes from london, where tens of thousands of people took to the streets today to protest the government's decision to triple university tuition. caught in the melee were prince charles, heir to the british throne and his wife, camilla, whose car was surrounded by protesters shouting angrily, "off with their heads."
the protesters kicked the vehicle and threw objects at it, including a canister of paint. that exploded on the car. the royal couple were physically unhurt but physically upset. that is our report for tonight. from all of us at abc news, good night, america. >> jimmy: hi, i'm "jimmy kimmel live" along with my roommate guillermo with a word about the bud light hotel, the place to be this first week of february for the big professional football championship game that i am legally not allowed to mention by name. you know, way back in december
we went to bud light hotel.com to secure our reservation and we've been having a super time, right guillermo? >> super, that reminds me that i'm hungry for some soup. >> jimmy: why don't you call room service? >> yeah, sure. hello, room service? i would like to order a bowl of soup and a six pack of bud light. bud light, that reminds me that i've been drinking bud light all this weeknightly parties, the official playboy party and the concerts. >> jimmy: i didn't understand that, but we should probably held out for the game. >> don't remind me that -- let's watch some. >> jimmy: you know what? we -- that's not are remote. that's bud light. and we need to go. >> first i'm going to take a shower. >> jimmy: okay, great. guillermo, can i ask you a question? >> yes. >> jimmy: what's going on with you?
>> i don't know, i guess i love bud light too much. >> jimmy: i guess so. >> dicky: reserve your room now at bud light hotel.com and you just might win a free trip. >> jimmy: "jimmy kimmel live," back in two minutes with rosemarie dewitt, music from crystal castles and john krasinski. in order to save our civilization, we must schmeplicate with the male of your species. in exchange, we offer this... schmeplicate? bud light? [ buzzes ] here we go! i'm doing it... for all of us. [ male announcer ] it's the sure sign of a good time. the just-right taste of bud light. [ woman #1 ] the guys are gone. here we go. whoooohoo! whoooohoo! whoooohoo! the droid 2 global. run a universe of free apps
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>> dicky: and now, to whom it may concern, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi there, thank you for watching. thank you, cleto. thank you for those who have journeyed from far away places. welcome to the show. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the program. and i'm also barbara walters' 11th most fascinating person of 2010. i just missed the cut for the show, but happy to be in the top 20 anyway. tonight, barbara walters hosted her 18th ten most fascinating people of the year special. included on the list, sarah palin, betty white, justin bieber, the cast of "jersey shore." i read articles today that
complained about the cast there. they're only on the show because barbara is dating the situation. it was funny watching barbara interview them. it was like watching jane goodall communicate with her chimpanzees. barbara conducted a very personal interview with oprah winfrey. they released excerpts of the interview yesterday. a lot was made of the fact that oprah cried and the fact she denied she was a lesbian. she did. she denied. i was surprised to see barbara kind of really pressed her on it. >> i'm not lesbian. i'm not even kind of lesbian. >> recently there was a picture taken of you and a girl on a backseat of a car. >> oh, okay. >> what were you doing? >> tissue, please. i now need a tissue. >> jimmy: oh, my goodness.
barbara really -- barbara asked oprah about barack obama. obviously oprah was a big supporter of the president. and opinion polls be damned, she is still very fond of him. >> how much difference do you think you made? >> i don't know how much i think i made but from the first moments i spent with barack obama, i felt like he was going to be -- the love, the lover, the man, the partner, the meat. >> i'm shocked. >> you're shocked? >> yeah, because i didn't know that it was still on. >> you're kidding me? >> i thought it was a nice friend that you see now and then. is he still the man in your life? >> yes, he is. >> jimmy: wow that is shocking. that's obamacare right there. this is my favorite part of the hour with oprah. this guy runs the discovery network, which is the umbrella under the new oprah network will operate. >> 15 years later, those came
closer to reality when she was approached by the president of the discovery network. >> jimmy: he looks like he just came home from work and found his wife having sex with another man. oh, the puppy bowl sign. what is that noise? it sounds like -- linda? linda! in hour two of the two-part special series, barbara sat down with sarah palin. on sunday, kate gosselin and her abundant brood, they're going to head north to make a guest appearance on sarah palin's show. this is going to be great. the palins and the gosselins go camping together. and i think they get lost in the wilderness and they're forced to eat one of the gosselin children. it should be -- the pro mopes for this children tlc crossover event are online. i think i might tune in. >> sunday. >> go camping with kate and her
eight kids. >> yay. >> i have never camped for real. >> our ruggedness is a mystery to people in the lower 48. >> but when the kids get into the weapons trunk, all heck breaks loose. it's palins versus gosselins. and alaska will never be the same. an all new "sarah palin's alaskalask alaska." sunday at 9:00 on tlc. >> jimmy: well, that's something to see. [ applause ] this is interesting. supporters of wikileaks founder julian assange have specifically targeted sarah palin. her website and her personal credit cards were attacked yesterday. they were able to get into her account. they figured out her password, which was "palin 2012."
they got it on the first guess. where were they during voting for "dancing with the stars"? they couldn't stop that? julian assange is in jail right now on sexual assault charges. this morning, headline news interviewed his step-father who had some interesting insight. >> strangely enough, i always thought that he would do something like this. >> jimmy: really? wasn't even an internet back then. and your glasses belong to sally jesse rafael. is it jesse or jeffy? this morning, prince made a surprise stop to visit the ladies of "the view." usually surprises on tv aren't really surprises but sherri shepherd appeared to be in shock. apparently she's a very big prince fan. >> i haven't had breakfast yet. >> can i have the gloves?
>> no -- give the gloves back, sherri. >> you don't understand -- i have wanted to make love to you for my whole life. i'm sorry. >> now he's leaving. you scared him. >> jimmy: that is not nice at all. let me tell you something, ladies of "the view." when i go on that show and onet make love. right there on the table among the coffee mugs while the audience cheers us on. prince got out of there like he left the engine running on his little red corvette. this morning, wesley snipes reported to federal prison in pennsylvania to begin a three-year essentisentence for accidentally not filing income taxes for ten years in a row. oops. seems odd that the punishment for not paying taxes is that you go live and eat in a place paid for by taxes.
but that's what we do here. three years is a long -- you know, he goes into prison the swaggering bad ass from "blade" but maybe leaves the drag queen from "to wong fu." the british government just voted to triple school fees for university students. there have been massive protests in the streets. and it all led to this astonishing video mixup this morning on cnn. >> thousands of angry students are outside parliament protesting. on capitol hill, house democrats have voted to not bring up the tax package that president obama vo voted to compromise with republicans. we didn't just put that on tv, did we? >> jimmy: yes, you did. and then we did. how is that even loaded in the machine? make sure we have jeff daniels
on the toilet standing by just in case. tomorrow, the nobel peace prize will be awarded tomorrow to liu xiabo, an imprisoned chinese dissident, who won't be around to pick it up. china is furious that they picked a man china considers to be a krcriminal. this could be the first war started by a peace prize. this is kind of funny. today, china decided to give out their own peace prize but the guy they planned to give it to did not show up to receive it. so, instead, they grabbed a 6-year-old girl to accept for him and then she went back to work. hey, those tickle me elmo dolls don't stuff themselves, folks. this year, in part thanks to our peace-loving friends in china, there are more high tech toys
than there ever been. so, to help people like me know what's what, we brought in an expert to sort it all out. here now with tech talk, our very own gadget guru, my uncle frank. >> hi, uncle frank here during this festive beautiful new christmas season. we have new toys this year. look at this. ♪ well, it means dance. or move around to others. yeah. what a toy. i don't understand it, but it's a lot of fun. >> jimmy: it looked like fun. [ cheers and applause ] we can't give him small toys because he chokes on them, but -- the trailer for mel gibson's first movie post freakout number s two through
eight is online right now. it's directed by jodie foster who costars as his wife. the movie comes out next spring. everybody is says that it's called "the beaver." that's wrong. i don't know if they changed it or someone censored it or someone made a mistake. but check this out. >> this is the story of walter black. a bhoon has lost all hope. but he's about to find his vo e voice. >> baby, baby, baby. oh? >> who are you? >> baby, bababy, baby. oh. >> this is a joke, right? >> baby, baby, baby, no. >> baby, baby, baby, oh. everyone? >> baby, baby, baby. oh! oh!
>> jimmy: i think it's going to -- i think it's going to do very well. [ applause ] one more thing. it's thursday night. time for our weekly tribute to the fcc where we bleep and blur things whether they need it or not. it's "this week in unnecessary censorship." >> they made it seem like my whole motivation for building facebook was so i could [ bleep ] girls. they completely left out the fact that my girlfriend i've been [ bleep ] since before i started facebook. >> crossing those creeks is -- it's a little bit treacherous because it's [ bleep ] freezing cold. >> before i start this next song, i just want to say [ bleep ] you. >> biggest [ bleep ] i've ever taken. >> one woman was able to buy gifts for her entire family without [ bleep ] a [ bleep ]. >> and that can be the needle. and they -- and they put that sucker right into your [ bleep ]. >> so, there was a picture taken of you and a girl in the
backseat of a car. all kinds of fuss. what were you doing? >> i was [ bleep ] her. >> tell me more. >> a lot of people come in here and tell me, you don't know how hard it is to [ bleep ] wooden toys. >> i'm not sure how to say this, but alice may is a ghost. she wants to put her in her man [ bleep ]. >> what are you talking about? >> jay leno [ bleep ] [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: what? what? wow. hey, we have a good show tonight. rosemarie dewitt is here. we have music from crystal castles. and we'll be right back with john krasinski, so stick around. dad: hey, dad.
grandpa: hey, son. teen: hey, what's up, grandpa? grandpa: how did jesse like his present? dad: well dad, you know, he uh... teen: dad, why don't you show him that video you shot. dad: why don't we all watch it when we're together? teen: to the cloud... dad: the what? dad: well, look at you. grandpa: oh, yeah. dad: hitting play now. grandpa: i'm worried about that boy. to the cloud with windows live. to create and share. anywhere. windows.com/cloud whoa, whoa! 10:00 and 2:00, buddy. eyes on the road, right? hands on the wheel. [ male announcer ] the want-it, need-it... stay focused. [ male announcer ] ...gotta-have-it taste of mcdonald's burgers. the simple joy worth waiting for. [ young man ] how's your burger, bro? [ laughs ]
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as we march to the holidays. mark wahlberg, olivia wallace. rachael ray, bo garrett, jeff bridges will be with us. we'll have music from darker my love, goo goo dolls and diddy will be here. our first guest tonight is a last minute edition to the show. ryan seacrest was supposed to be here but he was unable to get his teeth white enough in time to appear. i called my friend and neighbor -- or -- or did i call him? is john backstage? oh -- you know i -- he lives right across the street, i -- you know what -- i'm -- i apologize. this is going to be fine. i'll be right back, okay? all right. just -- bear with me for a second. what's up? oh, hey.
what's up? john? john? i'm -- i just need -- excuse me one second. i need to talk to john. >> you need to stop calling me john. i'm spider-man. thank you, by the way. >> jimmy: i need a favor. we're short a guest and i would love it if you could -- i'm sorry, can you give us a second? john -- taking a picture. >> jimmy: i can see that you're taking a picture. okay. there you go. okay, great, john, come on in -- >> you need to -- jimmy, get out of here. >> jimmy: i know. >> guys. i'm spider-man. >> jimmy: he's spider-man, everybody. look at him. those are adorable pajamas. john, i need for you to kwom in and do the show -- >> jimmy, you have to get out of here. >> jimmy: yeah, all right. excuse me one second. look, everyone, it's not
spider-man, it's john krasinski. all right, great. let's go inside. >> i can't believe you did that. i can't believe you did that. >> jimmy: really? i mean -- >> you sucked as spider-man. >> gary, this is a family corner, okay? so, let's just -- team effort here. >> you don't need a job. you don't need the money. >> i don't do it for the money. hold on a second. >> jimmy: you do have money. >> by the way, when was the last time you saw batman with a beard? >> you suck. boo! >> jimmy: guys, guys! all right, now -- this is not good. john -- john, john. come on. don't. don't. don't. come on now. don't. not the -- >> not the money! damn it, gary. that's mine! >> jimmy: guys -- gary, just, please? i'll give you some money later. just come inside, all right? >> what? >> here's for your wife, gary.
>> jimmy: that's not a nice thing to say. >> that's an easy one, gary. >> jimmy: enough with him. >> that guy's an ass. >> jimmy: and spider-man wouldn't behave like that. >> six years that guy's been riding my ass. i lost everything just now. everything. >> jimmy: that was everything? >> yeah, it was going to go to charity. >> jimmy: what charity? >> well, after i buy myself dinner i would give the rest to charity. >> jimmy: listen, let's just do this -- >> i really don't want to do this. >> jimmy: can i tell you something? >> okay. >> jimmy: i don't want to do this, either. we have nice people out here that are expecting to see a show. so, let's get in there and give them a show. >> okay. >> jimmy: come on, spidey. >> let's do this. [ cheers and applause ]
>> jimmy: wow. see what i'm saying? how long have you been spider-manning, by the way? >> well, professionally, six years. >> jimmy: six years? >> but i've been training for 22. >> jimmy: i had no idea. and did you buy this yourself? >> did i buy it? did your parents get it for you? >> jimmy: how dare you. i made this. >> jimmy: you did? you made it? really? >> that's why they don't line up, the spider things don't line up. >> jimmy: you know, spider-man can't expected to be a tailor. he's spider-man, for gold's sakes. >> exactly. he's busy. >> jimmy: good to see you. sorry to pull you off the boulevard. >> no, it's fine. i would love to see ryan seacrest anyway. i'm bummed he's not here. we have some -- we'd have some real rigamarole here. >> jimmy: you really could make money in that outfit on the boulevard.
but not posing for pictures. john and i live right across the street from each other. it's a small street. >> little creepy that you can see into my house. >> jimmy: not for me it isn't. so, on monday night, i -- well, i called you, i said, do you want to go to the movies. and you said no, you couldn't because you were exhausted or something. >> i say no -- >> jimmy: your whif was exhausted, something like that. and i come home from work and i walk into my house -- >> what? do you have photo evidence? >> jimmy: and in the living room are these enormous christmas -- you can't tell -- robots that move, that are lit up. >> they are more impressive in person. >> jimmy: you broke into my home and set up this christmas display. >> let's go easy on the broken into. >> jimmy: you didn't actually smash a window, but you did use the code that i gave you for --
>> that was dumb. one day you needed sugar or something. here's my code. >> jimmy: whose idea was this? >> totally mine. it was inspired by bed, bath and beyond. >> jimmy: is that right? >> yeah. i was decorating my house and i wanted to go crazy in my house and put a lot of christmassy stuff. i was like, bed, bath and beyond. because it's the beyond. we're going to get there. and i was completely blown away that there was very little there. so, as i'm looking through the little, there's one little aisle and up on the wall are these couple things. and i thought, yeah, those are going in jimmy's living room. >> jimmy: that's great. i had a good laugh about it and then about an hour and a half later, i finally go up to my bedroom to go to bed and this greets me in the hall in my -- [ laughter ] >> well, you know, you have to invite everybody to the party. you can't leave people out. >> jimmy: were you nervous about being in my home unsupervised?
>> okay, if we're being honest here, not that there's anybody listening. >> jimmy: we wouldn't expect anything less from spider-man. >> i was really excited. i bring the boxes over and i punch in the code and it took me a lot of times to remember the code. and while i'm doing the code on, like, the eighth try, your key pad turns a different color. and i turn to my friends, there were multiple people involved, sorry. and it turned a different color and i thought, oh, my god, we are definitely going to be arrested and/or a poison gas was just released. so, we are either dead or arrested. we get in on the last try. we get in and i open the box thinking, it can't be anything more than just, pull them out and they're ready to go. no, there's a lot of -- a lot of building. it was like those old construct sets where i was doing this, like, what is happening? why do i have to, like, screw in santa? that's not a pun. that's not a pun. >> jimmy: when people do that sort of thing that assemble the
item before they get into the house. >> that would look ridiculous. a guy in a spider-man costume. >> jimmy: you were wearing it then, too? >> and then my girlfriend happened to be upstairs in the house, terrified. >> so, my friends and i are assembling these, i think there were 30 of us. we heard a crash and it was that weird thing of human fear where we all knew what you that meant is, which was someone is home and someone said, what was that? and i just totally denied it and i was like, nothing, keep going. and i was so scared. and then we heard a crash again and i was like, oh, my god, someone is upstairs. so, i thought it was your son so, i go, kev? kev? and all of a sudden you hear running and i said, well, someone is confident enough to charge me. this isn't going to go well. i thought, if you're taking notes from a rhino, we're in a lot of trouble. and it was your girlfriend who came down. very nice. she said, hey, this looks amazing. i was so scared from the
charging that i didn't really say hello to her and we know each other very well and i was like, hey, how are you doing? and i think i peed my pants a little bit. and all i could do was going back to assembling santa. i have to put my fear to good use and seven minutes later i gave her a hug and i was like, hello, how are you? >> jimmy: well, you scared her. you think your spidey sense would have tingled. >> you think it comes with the costume. it doesn't. >> jimmy: well, first of all, thank you for decorating my home for me. you saved me the trouble. and do i have to give those back, or will i set them on fire at the end of the holidays? how -- >> that's sackry religious. >> jimmy: well, no, i don't think santa is a real saint. it doesn't even look like santa. it looks like a dog in a red suit. >> but he was nice enough to bring the north pole with him. >> jimmy: he was. now, i want to show something else, because you are -- you're
fortunate. you're very fortunate that i don't have the same diabolical streak that you do, because, at your wedding -- >> you gave me the diabolical streak. >> jimmy: at your wedding, i did something very kind for you, i thought -- >> don't do this. you're going to make me look like an ass. >> jimmy: john comes out and his tux is wrinkled. and this is -- this is your wedding. >> i didn't know that. you said, hey, is everything cool, are you having a good time? and i realized -- it was the first time i thought about getting married that day. you said, is everything all right? and i was like, oh, my god. and it set in. he was like, is your suit fine. i'm like, yeah, it's fine. it came from the thing. >> jimmy: it wasn't fine. >> it was on a plane and i didn't know this, it was totally wrinkled. >> jimmy: so, i got out. and this is a flattering picture of me. i got out and ironed your tuxedo. >> that's real. yes, no, it deserves and aww. it deserves an aww.
>> jimmy: i tell you what, though. it wouldn't have got an aww if i cut the ass out of it right before the wedding. >> it wouldn't have gotten an aww if i told you you weren't invited to the wedding. thank you for filling in, and ryan thanks you, as well. spider-man, everybody. john kra si scalifornikra si sk. new episodes of the office are back in january. we'll be right back with back in january. we'll be right back with rosemarie dewitt. selle grilled steak. st then we load it up with fresh ingredients and savory flavors. like the steakhouse classic with applebee's signature sauce. best of all, they start at just $9.99. there's also our bourbon street steak with blackened shrimp.
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>> jimmy: no super hero costume for you? >> no, i left my cape back stage. >> jimmy: it's not a requirement. it's optional. great to see you. >> thank you. >> jimmy: and congratulations on the movie. i thought you did a great job in it. did ben talk about me on the set of the movie? >> it was kind of annoying, actually. like, i would eat an apple, he'd be like, jimmy likes apples. or i would be in the scene, and he would say, jimmy does this head tilt thing -- >> jimmy: we do have that thing. i originally auditioned for that role. but you did a great job. probably even better than i would have. >> i would hope so. >> jimmy: it's quite a cast, isn't it, in this film? >> good group. >> jimmy: were you intimidated at all by this group? >> i was a little bit. i have to do this thing where i work with people i greatly admire where if i see them on tv i have to shut it off.
if "good will hunting" came on, off it goes. just to make it regular. >> jimmy: i see. so, then you don't think of them as movie star? >> yeah, or just so i'm not -- when i did a movie, "rachel getting married," i saw "terms of endearment" the night before and i was like shaking at the table. and then i forget that they're movie stars until we're shooting a scene. i was shooting a scene with ben and i keep seeing a weird movement and i'm like, oh, there's someone in a tree taking a picture of ben and i'm like, that's right, he's a huge star and we're in boston and they love them some ben affleck. >> jimmy: and there are photographers in the trees there. and who can blame them, honestly, though, i mean, really. >> you know. >> jimmy: he's tops, yeah. so -- where are you from originally? >> jersey. >> jimmy: jersey. and what do your parent boss for a living? >> my dad was in the marine
corps. he flew commercially and privately. my mom was a stewardess for eastern. >> jimmy: it's like a halloween costume. >> they were, yeah. >> jimmy: so, you must have had all the little bags of peanuts that you could ever imagine. >> yeah, and cocktails. >> jimmy: are you from a big family? >> my dad had eight kids with his first wife. >> jimmy: no, wow. no wonder he decided to start flying. >> and then he got that marriage annulled. and then he married my mom and it was just me. sad little holidays where we would -- just the three of us and my dad loved to travel and he was used to that life style. we would be bellying up to the buffet bar at the hilton, in our town, you know what i mean? he was just way more used to that. >> jimmy: that was like home. >> that was christmas. >> jimmy: your husband -- this is not news to you, is ron livingston. he's a very, very nice guy, he's
been here before. what's -- is he good around the holidays? >> yeah, he's great around the holidays. there's a lot of football going on right now, which i am a great wife and very tolerant of, and the chicago bears. they're having an amazing season so far. >> jimmy: when you say tolerant, what do you mean? it's really only 3 1/2 hours a week. >> yeah, but there's all things that go on. and he has the fantasy league. at 3:00 in the morning i feel the glow of the iphone on my face because he's checking and moving players and i don't know. and i used to watch all the games with him but he started pimping me out and i was feeling cheap and dirty. >> jimmy: he's making you have sex with his friends? >> no, that would be unbelievable. >> jimmy: that cease somethi's . >> when we first started dating, i get a little bored watching the game and i think it started with devin hester. i was like, who is that guy?
and he said, look at my arms. he gets jealous. but he did this thing where he -- i'm going to say it all wrong. he ran the ball down the field, like, the kickoff and scored and, you know -- >> jimmy: he ran back a touchdown? >> he did this amazing thing. >> jimmy: shortly after you complimented him. >> and then the next game i was like, what's up with that guy, i like him. he's kind of cute and then he would -- intercepted the ball or made a crazy tackle. up know how everyone thinks they affect the game from home? like, you know -- >> jimmy: you can. >> you can. ron believes that you can. so, he started to think that my crush on certain members of the chicago bears were causing them to have really good games. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah, so i would get a text. he's like, can you start having a crush on jay cutler, like, now? and he thought it was working. then it was getting complicated because i would be running out of stuff. i would have sexual fantasies about them. now i'm cheating on you. >> jimmy: as long as it gets them to the super bowl. even if he has to put nyou in te
shower with the whole team. >> it could be going there. i'm going to end one a reality show and a drug habit. i had to draw the line. if they get to the super bowl -- >> jimmy: you'll agree to do that. and it will be good motivation for the team. what are you doing for christmas? >> ron -- my dad is coming out and ron's whole family is coming for 11 days. a long time. >> jimmy: are you -- 11 days is a long time. will they stay with you in the house? >> yeah, like seven of them will. >> jimmy: is it big enough to accommodate? >> we're going to be seeing a lot of each other. >> jimmy: you are. and it's his family that's coming? >> my dad will come. and they're from iowa, you know, so, they don't travel, like, as much as we do. ron said the other day it's sort of like they pack their trunks on the queen mary. like, they're staying, you know? >> jimmy: they're staying for awhile. you seem delighted. well, hopefully -- >> i love them, i do. >> jimmy: hopefully they won't watch this show before they arrive. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. exactly. >> jimmy: well, tell ron i said
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