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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  April 28, 2011 12:00am-1:05am PDT

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they are live in london with all the latest on the royals there. and we are always online at until tomorrow, good night, america. >> dicky: up next on an all-new "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> jimmy: levi and the publisher have worked out a title for the work. it's going to be called "i need money." >> dicky: larry king. >> touring the united states, europe. >> jimmy: will you have porn stars on it? >> dicky: jaimie alexander. >> i would pin you if i was not in a dress. >> jimmy: really? take it off. >> dicky: and music from augustana. >> jimmy: i was under the impression that the onenenenenee
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>> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel with t-mobile's new android-powered sidekick 4g on america's largest 4g network. that means it's lightning-fast. [ thunder ] that's thunder, actually, but you get the idea. the rebirth of the sidekick 4g made for a big celebration in beverly hills the other night, and our own little sidekick andy milonakis was there. >> hi, jimmy kimmel. we're at the t-mobile sidekick 4g launch event. we're going to play with phones and talk to celebrity famous people. okay, all right? good. hi, the strokes. hi, the strokes. hi the strokes. >> hi. >> i like your rock and roll music. hi, do you like stuff? >> yes. >> cool. 4g.
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>> what is a g? >> a g is a giga watt compressor that's -- it's a satellite from the early, um, mayan calendar, in mars. >> between you and me i always thought you were better looking than your sister, but don't tell her that, lol. >> lmfao. >> yo, you guys going to do a little dancing? >> just a little bit. now shake that ass, booty drop. >> shake it. >> can i take a picture of you? >> sure. >> upload this to facebook right now. oh, that's a good one. wow. >> who is the chick? that's my girlfriend. don't touch her. don't play hard to get with me, stamos. >> too late. ♪ this android was built to destroy ♪ ♪ the 4g sidekick ain't no toy ♪ the internet crazy ♪ phoning pushing up daisies >> ready to do this?
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look, it's the strokes! ♪ t-mobile ♪ but i call it t-mo ♪ ringtone loud when i'm bumping cee-lo ♪ >> t-mobile. >> dicky: the t-mobile sidekick 4g -- built by samsung and powered by android. your social life at 4g speeds. >> jimmy: "jimmy kimmel live," back in two minutes with jaimie alexander, music from augustana and larry king. sounds like a mini-wheats day to me! and becka's science fair is on the 8th. she's presenting the solar system. hey, i've got just the wholegrain fiber to keep her full so she can stay focused. um, you rock. she'll be ready to rock. [ female announcer ] make your kids big days, mini-wheats days. packed with 100% whole grain fiber, kellogg's frosted mini-wheats cereal has what it takes to help keep your kids full so they can stay focused on the days that matter most. keeps 'em full. keeps 'em focused. on everything! no exclusions! don't miss big buys now hrough saturday...
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♪ so joey says to the guy -- [ sizzling ] [ male announcer ] fresh flavor never sounded so good. [ sizzling ] love when that happens. [ male announcer ] applebee's introduces two new sizzling entrees. try the new sizzling cajun steak and shrimp or our new sizzling smokehouse chicken stack. new sizzling entrees, starting at $8.99. only at applebee's. there's no place like the neighborhood. open 'til midnight or later. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- larry king. from "thor," jaimie alexander. and music from augustana. with cleto and the cletones. ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" >> dicky: and now, that reminds me, here's jimmy kimmel!
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, cleto. hi, everyone, i'm gjimmy, i'm te host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for being here on a very big day for our nation today. big news, as president obama finally broke down and showed everyone his birth certificate. and you're not going to believe this. it turns out he was born in hawaii, of all places. isn't that weird? this is what we've apparently been waiting for. i have to say, some of it seems fishy. can we zoom into the honolulu? that's made up. that's not a place. the president was born barack hussein obama ii. he's a junior. i didn't know that. and his mother, look at his mother's name.
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her first name is stanley. for real. excuse me, mr. president, but women are not named stanley. not in the america i love, anyway. how did we not know his mother's name was stanley? no wonder she rebelled and had a kenyan baby, it's -- [ laughter ] donald trump today, well, it was a tough day for hair force one. the birth certificate -- this has been the centerpiece of his campaign so far. he even had a team in hawaii investigating, so, when the it was released, we saw a humbler and, dare i say, apologetic the donald. >> today, i'm very proud of myself because i've accomplished something that nobody else has been able to accomplish. i was just informed while on the helicopter that our president has finally released a birth certificate. i'd want to look at it, but i
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hope it's true, so that we can get onto much more important matters so the press can stop asking me questions. >> jimmy: about this completely made-up issue that i have single handedly beaten to death. [ cheers and applause ] i especially -- my favorite part is that he said, i'm proud of myself. as opposed to every other day when he's insecure and full of self-doubt. donald trump is the best. i'm surprised he isn't investigating whether or not hawaii is an official state. doesn't seem very united staty to me. a lot of vowels over there. the truth is, releasing a birth certificate, for the people who believe president obama wasn't born in the united states, this isn't going to change their minds. these people could have personally being witnessed him being born out of an apple pie in the middle of a kansas wheat field while toby keith sang the
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national anthem and they would think he's a kenyan muslim. i guess obama finally had enough. i have an idea. we ought to say we don't believe he's a man and refuse to believe it until he releases his penis. [ cheers and applause ] donald trump, by the way, there are still some questions about his birth certificate, which he released a month ago. look at this. name, race, height, weight, eyes, blue. hair -- wtf. what color is that? [ applause ] right? you may remember a couple of weeks ago trump said his investigation team was finding very interesting things in hawaii. so far, he's refused to give details about those interesting things but we were able to acquire some video of the investigators at work in hawaii, and as you'll see, they did dig
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up some interesting things. >> hey, pete! look what i found. it's barack obama! it's real old. >> sure is ugly. made in kenya. i knew it. just what mr. trump was looking for. >> groovy. >> you know what i'm going to do? i'm going to go show mr. trump. he'll make me vice president! [ applause ] >> jimmy: i think that means obama has immunity now. meanwhile, on the other side of the world, the royal wedding of prince william and cade mittle on the is set for friday morning. elton john, madonna going to be there. preparations are said to be going smoothly. they had a minor snafu. they realized another couple had westminster abbey booked for the
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same weekend. the royals have to be out of there by 2:00. "entertainment tonight" has been covers this like cnn covers an earthquake. i was under the impression that the only kate we care about in america is the one that has eight kids and can't dance. if mary hart is right, and she always is, then i'm sadly is maken. >> i'll be back with the top secret 2:00 a.m. royal wedding rehearsal shot with your night vision cameras. that's all tomorrow, so, please join us. >> i love the image of mary heart crouhart in qualm flauj wearing night visi vision. she's america's favorite peeping tom. new episode of "american idol" on tonight. i was hoping there wouldn't be, but there was. six contestants are left, which means finals are only almost two months away. i think -- i think last year's winner should be allowed to defend his title, like wrestlemania, right? this week's theme was the carole
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king song book. i love carole king, but i got to be honest, man, the theme was just all right for me. it didn't make me jump up and down. yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, you know what i'm saying? last night, nbc, a show called "the voice" debuted. the judges sit on championships with their backs to the singers. they can only hear them. it's like "american seeing idol." "american idol" might be able to do that, so they can avoid moments like this. it's time for "american idol's" steven tyler's creepy leer of the night. >> ah, tonight, the top six will not only be performing as individuals, but taking the stage as duets. >> jimmy: now he's leering at us. [ applause ] for those of you in our studio audience who live here in california, you remember arnold
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schwarzenegger, our former governor? yeah, apparently before he was governor, he was an actor. that was -- eight years ago. i hope he'll still be able to not be able to act. he's -- there are reports that they're shopping another "term nail or t terminator" movie around. i have to say, i think it's pretty cool that our former governor can also be the terminator. no other state can claim that. certainly not alabama. this is the governor of alabama, robert bentley. he isn't terminating anyone. he couldn't terminate a bull weevil. seriously, watch this. that doesn't work at all. it's terrible. by the way, arnold schwarzenegger is 63. he said now that he's in his 60s, extreme fighting or sho shooting in the movies is impossible anymore. good thing the terminator doesn't have any fighting or
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shooting in it. "term nainator five, rise of th machines several nights to go to the bathroom." even though the movie is still in the planning stages, somehow they released a trailer today. so, here it is, arnold schwarzenegger in "terminator five." >> california, 2011. a state on the brink of collapse. unemployment, crumbling inf infrastructure, crushi ining de. political grid lock. this summer, arnold schwarzenegger is back as the terminator faces his greatest challenge. saving california, by going back in time to his inauguration and killing himself. "terminator five. see you later govenator." summer 2011. >> jimmy: i'd go see that.
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[ cheers and applause ] yesterday, you probably heard that sony revealed that their playstation network had been hack and the personal account information of many of its subscribers had potentially been compromised. isn't hacking into playstation against the nerd code of ethics? this nerd on nerd crime has got to stop. they took their user names, addresses, e-mail addresses, birth dates, passwords. fortunately, their virginity remains intact. but do you really -- [ applause ] i mean -- do you really want to steal the identity of an unemployed 33-year-old who still lives in his parents' basement? i don't think so. [ applause ] sarah palin is still plugging away. she was on fox news last night. you're not going to believe this. she had some criticism for president obama. >> he's been extremely
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inconsistent in the reasons given for our involvement in libya. first it was, well, gadhafi's got to go, killing his own people and a lot of us stood by the president. >> jimmy: hold on. back that up for a second, if you could. and let's look at what's going on. she's writing on her hand again. [ applause ] you know, teleprompters are the tools of the liberal media. speaking of sarah palin, her former almost son-in-law levy johnston announced he's writing a tell-all book about the palin family. it's a good thing she doesn't read otherwise he'd be in an unfortunate snow mebl accident. who would have ever guessed that america's greatest literary dynasty would come out of an igloo. the title of the book is "i need
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money." the actual title is worse. it's called "deer in the headlig headlights: my life in sarah palin's crosshairs." he says he's doing this for himself, hiss son and the country. i can speak for the country when i say, no, thanks, we're good. [ cheers and applause ] i don't know that anybody is what you describe as thrilled about the release of the book. but one group is downright outrage and released this video today to register their distaste. >> "deer in the headlights" by levy johnston. "confessions of an heiress" by paris hilton. "heart full of soul" by taylor hicks, and thousands and thousands more. we're trees. and we're sick and tired of dying for your mindless celebrity [ bleep ].
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trees. stop it. or we'll [ bleep ] up your house. [ applause ] >> jimmy: something to think about. hey, we have a good show for you tonight. from the new movie "thor," jami jaimie alexander is here. we have music from augustana. and we'll be right back with larry king, so stick around. [ bicycle bell rings ] [ ostrich squawks ] whoa. [ woman screams ] oh no... she's chewing stride spark! abort! abort! [ growls ] [ screams ] [ male announcer ] new stride spark. flavor you can feel. oomph you can taste. [ marketer ] get the ram! [ male announcer ] new stride spark™. the ridiculously long lasting gum®.
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with flavor you can feel. bright, colorful screen, high-speed downloads, hd video. she'll want videos of grandkids. i'm not ready for kids. what would i name it ? brian's good. a brian will make eye contact, work with his hands, return e-mails. okay, mom's getting a phone. get mom a new samsung fascinate for $99.99 and unlimited data for only $29.99 on america's largest high-speed wireless network. verizon. orchard chicken salad sub is back! packed with juicy chicken, sweet apples, tart cranberries, and crunch-a-licious celery. it's a bushel full of flavor on freshly baked bread. the $5 footlong orchard chicken salad -- here for a limited time only! subway. eat fresh.
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versus sebastian zero gravity. do you see, when i touch it? it moves perfectly. i cannot tell the difference. [ male announcer ] new suave professionals. reformulated to work as well as top salon brands.
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cccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccc reformulated to work as well we share. shop from anywhere. and are always connected. we live in a social world. isn't it time we had a social currency to match? membership rewards points from american express. use them to get the things you love from,, and more unexpected places. they're a social currency with endless possibilities. >> jimmy: well, thank you very much. thank you, cleto. thanks for coming back. i missed you guys. tonight on the show, starting next friday, you can see her fighting the giants of jotunheim in 3d. from "thor," jaimie alexander is here. and then later on, with music
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from this, their self-titled album, it came out yesterday. augustana from the bud light stage. tomorrow night we'll be joined by sofia vergara, boxer manny pacquiao and music from the airborne toxic event. joins us for that, too. our first guest tonight is out of the house and back on cnn, hosting a larry king special called "unthinkable: the alzheimer's epidemic." it airs may 1st at 8:00 p.m., and i understand it's hilarious. please say hello to larry king. [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: that's right. you got the bagel place now. i like salty bagels. that's my favorite. i'm a health nut. >> we can take out the health part. anyway doctor never mind. >> jimmy: can i eat this while you talk? >> let me explain it. there's a new company called the brooklyn water bagel company. they're a chain of restaurants that serve special bagels and they have a process by which they can duplicate the water in brooklyn. best water in america. and so this is a brooklyn water bagel. >> jimmy: it's very good. you're going to have to talk for a second while i finish this entire bagel. >> all right. this water bagel was processed with people who have invented a concept and i have the franchise, i'm part of the owners of the franchise in beverly hills. >> jimmy: it's really good. >> they're opening all over the united states. >> jimmy: how many bagels do you eat a day?
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>> who cares. i have -- well, in the morning i'll either have a bagel or a corn muffin. we got muffins backstage for you. all made with the water. the secret is the water. >> jimmy: they make corn muffins at the bagel place? >> blew berry muffins. sandwiches. salads. >> jimmy: i don't know how you stay so slim. >> i don't eat everything. they make soups. you're the cook, right? >> jimmy: that's the secret. not eating everything. >> we have bagels for you and corn muffins for you to take home, for your vista where you go and cook. >> jimmy: my compound. >> the wild part is, i believe that. >> jimmy: you should believe it. thank you very much. i'm going to finish this later. >> you better. >> jimmy: now, larry, you're not retired but you are kind of semiretired. >> i'm doing specials for cnn. you mentioned the alzheimer's
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one on sunday night. i'm doing a comedy tour. >> jimmy: that's right. >> i've done comedies if yey fo. i'm going to do a whole tour. we're touring the united states, europe. >> jimmy: will you have porn stars on it click charlie sheen? >> no, this would be a tasteful -- some of the locations, my wife shawn, who is backstage, telling me what to say -- jshg rig >> jimmy: right, yeah. he'll open. she sings. do you sing -- she sang on the show. >> at the end of some of the shows, we sing "making whoopie." >> jimmy: oh, so there is a touch of charlie. a little. [ applause ] >> all right.
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♪ another -- >> jimmy: sorry to cut you off. have you done anything crazy? just gone nuts and really cut loose since you don't have to work every day? >> a ferrari? a jewish man riding around in that? i tell you what happened to me, car wise, i get a letter the other day from the dmv, the department of motor vehicles. i open it up, dear mr. king, you are in the top 3% of the worst drivers in california. >> jimmy: oh, really? what? >> what did i do? they say, you are threatened with loss of license. be careful, mr. king. don't go on the road. >> jimmy: what? >> so, i have a theory of this. i never got a moving ticket. i have not gotten one moving ticket. maybe those cameras, those rotten spy cameras. which i believe are illegal and unconstitutional. in fact, i am totally against
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capital punishment, except meter maids. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and the guy who invented that camera. >> jimmy: yeah. >> so maybe it's the cameras. >> jimmy: do you think they're snapping pictures -- they mail a picture, a photograph -- >> one of the pictures, the picture was of my wife's assista assistant. i don't look like her. >> jimmy: you have to say who -- >> i have to go down to the courthouse, i have to make a spectacle of myself? >> jimmy: you probably do. you have to fight this. >> i got a driver. >> jimmy: you do have a driver? >> i like to drive, though, but i have a driver -- >> jimmy: how do you decide if you drive or let the driver drive? >> that's a very good question. >> jimmy: thank you. >> the -- well, of course, when i went to work every day he drove me to work every night. but now we use him -- he's a great driver. one of the best i've ever seen. and he's from mexico. daniel is his name and i use him -- we're going to a wedding saturday, one of my producers is
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getting married. >> jimmy: nice. >> allison. we turned down the steve wynn wedding in vegas, three-day wedding, steve. he's bucking the prince. he's having the wedding the same weekend as the prince. we're going to allison's. >> jimmy: i think you should have gone to steve's or the prince's. but you'll be driven by daniel to the wedding. >> quoting my wife. okay. you want to hear a daniel story? daniel is very proper. this is a true story. i don't know how i got into this. my wife is in utah where we have a home. i don't go there because they don't know jews yet. >> jimmy: right. >> only kidding. >> jimmy: not your natural habitat. >> you've seen one mountain, you see them all. she's with the kids, some sort of holiday. she's in utah. one of my great friends, a great guy, is kurt, he's just, kurt is, he's in real estate, a great guy. you would like him.
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>> jimmy: okay. >> he's your kind of guy. >> jimmy: are you trying to fix me up on a date? >> not with kurt. he's a good guy. anyway. it's his birthday. so, my wife says to me on the phone, i think she's serious, she's kidding, but i don't know, she says, why don't you get him, going to dinner with him? i said, yeah. get him a hustler gift card. a gift card g the hustler store. >> jimmy: okay. >> the hustler store. so, i didn't know she was kidding. so i said to daniel, drive down snelt boulevard. pouring rain. there's the hustler. i said, pull over. he don't believe it. you're going to the hustler store mr. king? yeah, i am. you sure? i want to go in there. so, he brings the umbrella, he runs around to let me out, and runs back into the car. he should not be seen in front of this store. i walk in and there's a lady there, i said, spectacular looking place. i don't want to describe it. it's a family audience.
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i bought the gift card. you have to tell them it's for someone else. >> jimmy: you went in and -- you purchased the card in the store? >> and i gave it to him at dinner. >> jimmy: this is getting weird. >> they put us in a booth. i hand him a hustler card and my only prayer was, tmz wasn't there. you missed this one little harvey. harvey the rat missed this one. >> jimmy: wow, that's -- very romantic tale. >> well, true story. >> jimmy: you didn't pick up anything for yourself at the store? >> no. she was kidding. >> jimmy: she was kidding. maybe it's one of those kidding on the square type of things. >> you know shawn? >> jimmy: well, i don't know what goes on. >> her nickname is kwas si mow toe. she was kidding. >> jimmy: we're going to take a break here if we don't mind. >> i do mind. >> jimmy: all right, well, we'll just blow right through the commercial. >> you said the special was funny. >> jimmy: i don't know. is it?
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>> i have something to tell you. >> jimmy: that's a good tease. >> don't tune away. >> jimmy: when we come back, something special happened this morning. larry king is here. you can see the special on may 1st on cnn. we'll be right back. [ cellphone vibrates ] hey baby, what's going on? [ ella ] happy anniversary! are we still on for tonight? yeah, of course. of course. [ laughs ] you remembered to make a reservation, right? yeah, i remembered that. the number one thing a man should remember. i'm gonna be there soon. i'm gonna come pick you up. and i'll, uh...i'll -- i'll -- i'll call you -- i'll call you when i'm on the way. i'm -- i'm on the way. ok? ok! [ male announcer ] only at&t's network lets your iphone talk and surf at the same time. ♪ love when that happens. [ male announcer ] applebee's introduces two new sizzling entrees. starting at $8.99. fresh flavor never sounded so good.
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>> jimmy: hi there, we're back. larry king.
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jaimie alexander and augustana still to come. how old are your boys now, larry? >> 12 and -- chance is 12 and cannon is going to be 11 if i let them. >> jimmy: is there trouble at home? >> they're great kids. >> jimmy: i loved your son's imitation of you on the last show. >> he wants to come on the show. you invited him on. >> jimmy: i did. i would love to have him on. come on and imitate you. >> he's fantastic. anyway, got a story about the kid. >> jimmy: all right. >> this is only in america today. he jams his finger playing basketball, right? so it's a little sprain. he goes to the pediatrician this morning. i was over at cnn tami tapes pr. he goes to the thing with this guy, nanny, not really a nanny, ball player, but he helps around the house. i don't know what he does. anyway, no, he's a good guy.
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he takes him to the doctor, the pediatrician sends him down to an orthopedic guy who examine the fingers. get a call. hello, mr. king, british woman. hello, mr. king. your son cannon is here but we need certain papers to be signed. what papers? we need your release and we need all insurance information. i said, well, you want to fax it over to me. we'll do that. i said, look. could the doctor take care of the kid while -- no, no mr. king, we cannot go near your son until you fill out the forms. so, she sends me eight forms, i'm signing releases, addresses, mother's name, father's name, finally, the last sheet is medical history, right? so, i sent it back, didn't fill that out. she calls me back. you have not filled out the medical history form. i said, he's 10! what medical history. there must be a medical history. i said, okay, you write this
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down. 8 months old. diaper rash. this is what i live with today. she said, you're mocking me mr. king. you're mocking me. >> jimmy: you sure it wasn't a crank call? >> no, no, she was there. she was there. >> jimmy: now, this special you're doing, this doesn't sound like a fun special. >> no, this is serious. >> jimmy: who is apart of this special? >> oh, maria shriver, mrs. bush -- >> jimmy: seth rogen? >> his fiance's father -- i forget, has alzheimer's. >> jimmy: and so they are talking about personal experience. >> there's a place in vegas, you know vegas, have you been to the, have seen the center for alzheimer's in vegas? >> jimmy: no. i always miss it when i'm in town. i'm so involved with myself. >> you drive there with trump.
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>> jimmy: is there a buffet? >> you know larry ruvo? southern wines and spirits. major figure. his father died of alzheimer's. he had the great architect design this center which is shaped like the brain. and we spent a lot of time in there, going through, i took my wife through the other day. we do testing to see if you might have alzheimer's. ron reagan goes through it with me. it's for a first special, it's really -- >> jimmy: great to have you back on cnn. every day, i miss you. i miss you on the channel. i really do. [ cheers and applause ] and i'm guessing, though, that -- i always think, when i, because i watch, and i bet larry is happy he's not interviewing jermaine jackson right now. >> you picked out the right one. >> jimmy: larry king, everybody.
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"cnn presents: a larry king special-unthinkable: the alzheimer's epidemic" airs may 1st at 8:00 p.m. on cnn. we'll be right back with jaimie alexander. hawaiian pidgin, state fish of hawaii -- humu-humu-nuku-nuku-apua-a. just look at him. i wanted a trip to hawaii, but he got lost in the links. [ husband ] linkin park twitter alert, cash alert! i've told you, if you're planning a vacation, you have to bing it, honey! when honey badgers attack... [ wife ] see...price predictor knows the best time to buy. bing -- got it. we are going to hawaii... i'm going back to cali, cali, going back to cali... hmm, i don't think so... i don't think so. [ male announcer ] stop searching, start deciding with bing, the decision engine from microsoft. orchard chicken salad sub is back! packed with juicy chicken, sweet apples, tart cranberries, and crunch-a-licious celery. it's a bushel full of flavor on freshly baked bread. the $5 footlong orchard chicken salad -- here for a limited time only! subway. eat fresh. on everything! no exclusions! don't miss big buys now hrough saturday... worthington essentials shirts -- just $14.99...
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>> jimmy: hi there, we're back. our next guest is a talented young actress who will soon be seen on collector's cups and action figures all over the world. she plays the warrior goddess sif in the new 3d movie "thor." ♪ ♪
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>> jimmy: "thor" opens may 6th. please say hello to jaimie alexander. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, i took my son to see "thor" last night. we enjoyed it thoroughly. >> good. >> jimmy: i like that sort of thing. in the movie, your character is a friend of thor's but in the comic books, thor's lover. >> yes, yes. about that. >> jimmy: what happened? >> you know, i think he's like, you're way too taurl, lad tall, lady, i'm not interested. no, they wanted to make him more modern. there's some of that into there. i'm a huge comic book fan. >> jimmy: are you really?
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because every time we have a beautiful actress from one of the movies, they pretend to be a comic book fan and i never believe it because it's usually false, but they say alove comic books. do you really love comic books? >> i absolutely do. i got to say, sipe pider-man an x-men were my favorite. and i'll have you know, i can actually do a spot-on chewbacca. >> jimmy: really? where did you learn that? from the movies or from him himself? >> well, you know, i prock actin the weekends. no, actually, watching the movies, he was always my favorite and i had a friend in canada that for some reason out of the blue, we were at a bar and he decided to do it, and i made it my ringtone, his, and i practiced and i can do it. would you -- >> jimmy: i would like to learn how to do it.
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oh, you have to stand? >> i can do it sitting but it doesn't have that great of an effect. >> jimmy: more presentational that way. [ cheers and applause ] that's pretty good. you have to do the thing and then do the fingers? >> yeah, i do. if you just sit here, it's -- and if you really give it something, it's a little better. >> jimmy: like a nerd mating call, too. i imagine -- >> it hasn't worked for me yet. where are you from? >> texas. >> jimmy: what part? >> grapevine. >> jimmy: small. getting bigger. somebody knows. >> jimmy: i heard you were on the wrestling team in high school. >> did you? >> jimmy: yeah. is that true? >> it is true. >> jimmy: and did everyone want to wrestle you? >> actually maybe. no. i was -- i was pretty good, so, i would say they wanted to try and beat me. if the guys wanted to wrestle me, they never let me no.
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>> jimmy: so, there was a girl's team? >> i started the team in my school. >> jimmy: how did you? >> well, it kind of started off as a bet. and there was a girl who was in my school and her brother coached our rival high school and she's like, look, there are 81 schools in texas that have female wrestfuling and ours doesn't, so, wth. and i said, all right, well, we can start this. so, i went to the school board, pitched it. they laughed at me, said it was barbaric, i said whatever, and i started it and i wrestled at 128 and my first two matches were against boys. >> jimmy: really? and they were in the same weight class? >> actually, i wrestled at 128, they were 125. they agreed to wrestle up. the matches didn't count. they were exhibition matches. and they were actually making fun of our girls team. this is how i met them. they were making fun of us, said, girls wrestling is barbaric, you're probably really crap at it. they used a different word.
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>> jimmy: that's what i would say to you, also, as i lured you onto the mat. you can't wrestle at all. >> yeah, well, i will say, i beat them both. >> jimmy: you did? >> i did. [ applause ] yes. yes. yes. >> jimmy: did you beat them or did they have an accident and have to scurry off? >> well, they did leave the mat pretty quickly. no, you know, actually, i beat them but i know they did not try their hardest. it was one of those things were, if she's going to beat me, i'm going to say, i didn't try. i'm still going to hurt you. and my signature move is pretty awesome. >> jimmy: what is your signature move? >> well, i mean, it's hard to explain. i think i should just show you. >> jimmy: go ahead. oh, on me? oh, all right. what the hell. all right. hold on. let me eat a little bagel. i have to -- i like to carb up. >> i have to make sure -- you
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don't have ringworm or anything that i should know about, right? >> jimmy: probably. come on. >> just stay over there. no, stop being a ham. be serious. >> jimmy: i'm trying to eat. >> swallow. there you go. do you need -- all right, what do we do? >> so when you begin a match, in the beginning -- >> jimmy: this is going to be great. >> pipe down. listen to me. so, you're going to start here. >> jimmy: we start like this. >> watch the hair. >> jimmy: i'm not going to do anything. >> naturally, usually i'm taller than my opponents. they would shoot for my legs. >> jimmy: sweep the leg. >> not quite, but i like that you know what you're doing -- >> jimmy: from "the karat tee kid," really. >> so, then, what happens, you would shoot for the leg, i would sprawl out. there's no chance you're going to be able to grab ankles. so, on the ground, i would go here and this is called a half nelson. >> jimmy: all right. >> this is how i would pin somebody. i would put you on my back --
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>> jimmy: why are we not laying down on the ground? >> it's not that kind of show. >> jimmy: you would pin ne? >> i would absolutely pin you if i was not in a dress. >> jimmy: really? take off your dress. i tell you what -- you're going to have to come back and we'll actually wrestle. >> i will bring it next time, all right? >> jimmy: absolutely. jaimie alexander. "thor" opens may 6th. we'll be right back with augustana.
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>> jimmy: this is their new self-titled album. here with the song "steal your heart," augustana. ♪ ♪
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♪ well meet me at the water let all your dreams come true tell your sisters and your brothers ♪ ♪ we'll all be waiting for you ♪ ♪ when all of this is over and all your silver turns to gold say a prayer for each other ♪ ♪ someday i'm going to steal your heart ♪ ♪ i'm going to steal your heart i'm going to steal your heart away ♪ ♪ i'm going to steal your heart i'm going to steal your heart away ♪ ♪ my love is like an ocean
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i'll take you down to the depths i'm taking you with me ♪ ♪ taking every step to steal your heart ♪ ♪ i'm going to steal your heart away i'm going to steal your heart ♪ ♪ i'm going to steal your heart away ♪ ♪ ♪ well life is like a shadow it never stays in one place well i'm standing here anyway however long it takes ♪
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♪ to steal your heart i'm going to steal your heart away ♪ ♪ i'm going to steal your heart i'm going to steal your heart away ♪ ♪ i'm going to steal your heart ♪ ♪ i'm going to steal your heart away ♪ ♪ i'm going to steal your heart i'm going to steal your heart away ♪ >> jimmy: there you go. first of all, thanks to jaimie alexander for being here. and fighting me. thanks to larry king. we'll fight him next time, too. apologies to matt damon. tomorrow night, sofia vergara, manny pacquiao and music from the airborneic


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