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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  May 21, 2011 12:00am-1:05am PDT

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spend it. thanks for watching abc news. we hope you tune into "good morning america" weekend. have a terrific weekend, assuming harold camping is wrong, see you right back here on monday. >> dicky: tonight on "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> jimmy: that's what happens when you impregnate your maid. >> dicky: clee wee kardashian odom. >> when he's done, have the legs up and hold them over you. >> dicky: "science bob" pflugfelder. and music from scott weiland. >> jimmy: i might just get naked and run around screaming at the top of myab
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>> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel with exciting news. "jimmy kimmel live" now has an app. that's right. just like a real show. here now with all the details, our spokesmodel, katie. hello, katie. how are you? >> good, how are you? >> jimmy: go ahead. >> we are pleased to -- you -- what was that? >> jimmy: yours is in blue. >> hello, i'm pleased to be here to introduce the "jimmy kimmel live" app. >> jimmy: and we are pleased to have you, katie. tell us about some of the apps features. >> with the "jimmy kimmel live" app, you can watch video from the show anywhere on the go. >> jimmy: even like in the tub? >> i mean, if it's waterproof. >> jimmy: even at the circus? >> i mean, sure, if you want to,
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what if you lose it on a roller coaster. >> jimmy: even if your riding a unicorn in heaven? >> i would be hard to ride that and hold this. >> jimmy: okay, back to the cue cards. >> and you can read all jimmy kimmel's hilarious personal tweets. and best of all, it's free and available on the ipad, iphone and ipod touch. >> jimmy: how do we install it? >> simply go to the itunes apple store, then type your nape. then click the free -- >> jimmy: whose name? theirs or mine? >> yours, jimmy kimmel, duh. [ laughter ] then click the free install button and wait for it to download and install. >> jimmy: wow. it's so easy, even i can do it. thanks, katie. >> thanks. >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" app. available exclusively at the apple app store. "jimmy kimmel live," back in two minutes with chloe ckhloe karda
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odom. "science bob" pflugfelder. and music from scot weiland. and your heart begins to race. ♪ and wherever you want to go -- you can get there. ♪ the 2011 jeep wrangler. adventure is never ordinary. ♪ adventure is never ordinary. lcan feel like a jungle of ifs. to steer clear of the confusion, go to you'll get straight answers. like how much you need and how much it costs. so you can make the best decision for your family.
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>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- khloe kardashian odom. "science bob" pflugfelder. and music from scott weiland. with cleto and the cletones. ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" >> dicky: and now, moving right along, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi there, i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thanks for watching. thank you for being here.
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merry apocalypse eve to every one of you here. the apocalypse -- tonight, really, may 21st is the day on which an evangelical radio broadcaster named harold camping has convinced his followers the apocalypse will begin. i checked the weather an hour ago. we have a 10% chance. he says the apocalypse will start with a huge earthquake that will shake all the true believers up to heaven and leave everyone else down here. it's like god playing boggle. what are the safety procedures do you stand in a doorway? do you stop, drop and roll? i might just get naked and run around screaming at the top of my lungs. that's how i handle most emergencies. some people have actually quit their jobs in preparation for this. i saw family on the news, they totally bought into it. they sold all their things.
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it's kind of sad. though, i did get a great deal on a weed whacker. $2. one guy spent his entire life savings, spent $140,000 on an ad campaign to warn people, which -- i know that's crazy, but we should chip in and get him the money back on money, right? it's the thought that counts, isn't it? the prophet in this case, he runs a company called family radio. and here's how he came up with this specific date, may 21st, 2011. >> 7,000 years, i learned, several decades ago that the flood was 4990. i knew now that the end was 2011, when we add 4990 to 2011, you get 7,0001. but in going from the old testament calendar to the new
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testament coordinated with us, there's no year zero, so, you have to subtract one year to get an exact amount of time, and it came out 7,000 years. >> jimmy: all right, well, the numbers are there. you can't argue with that. by the way -- [ applause ] i just want to point out that the guy is -- this is an 89-year-old man. he may be right the apocalypse may be coming, but it's only coming for him this weekend. [ laughter ] [ applause ] let's -- you know what we ought to do? let's all dress up like angels and show up in his bedroom tonight. apparently this family radio group wanted to warn children about the apocalypse, too, so, camping had this educational cartoon produced. just to make sure kids aren't frightened when the end of days descend upon them. >> this day, may 21, 2011, is extremely important, as it will also be the first day of
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judgment, a time of horrible death and destruction for all those who are left behind. >> jimmy: so, sleep tight, kids, and don't let the bedbugs bite. what kind of a thing is that? by the way, what if the apocalypse does happen tomorrow? how embarrassing will that be for us, right? burn in hell, you smart asses! even if we don't die this weekend, and we will, we really have no reason to keep living. wednesday is the last oprah show. and -- as you know, oprah is stepping down from her show after news broke tuesday that she fathered a love child with her maid. something like that. really going all out. yesterday's show was oprah's most memorable guests of all time. today was oprah's favorite guests of all time. then monday is five quick and easy fish dinners and then the finale and then another finale.
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part of oprah's set is at a museum. the door will be displayed in the lobby until july. kids, you want to go see oprah's door? yay. oprah's door. we were unable to get oprah's door for our show tonight but we have been honoring ho ining opr own way. we have been taking audio from her greatest moments and combining it with video from some of the great cartoons the world has ever known. tonight, oprah's fame mouse interview with tom cruise, mashed up with video from "dora the explorer." >> but tom, you never had this kind of feeling before. >> i honestly, i haven't. >> really? >> it's something that has happened that i feel i want to celebrate it. >> what has happened to you? what -- >> that's how i feel about it.
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>> something happened to you. >> i'm in love. >> i have never seen you like this! i've never seen this. >> i know. >> you are gone. >> i'm in love. [ applause ] >> jimmy: whenever i'm in love, i get on a unicycle and judgele hot dogs, too. dora had the same suri cruise hair cut there. arnold schwarzenegger today announced that he's putting his career on hold to focus on perm matters. either that or he's putting korea on hold. it's hard to understand him. he apparently asked his talent agency to put his projects on hold. see, that's what happens when you impregnate your maid. there's no one to clean up your mess for you. [ applause ]
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it's interesting to see people's reactions. jane seymouseymour, the actress slammed arnold this week. she said she wasn't even remotely surprised and she said he's heard he has two more children he may have fathered out of wedlock. i was wondering when dr. quinn medicine woman would finally weigh in on this situation. these rumors of other children are just rumors. but i am concerned what if arnold, and go with me here, what if he secretly is breeding a race of mini arnolds to take over the world? we need to figure out how to defend ourselves and we need dr. quinn to lead us. [ applause ] there's been a -- there has been much maid of this schwarzenegger fiasco, but this might be my favorite news item of all. melissa mccarthy from our local kcal news was reports from armd's star on the hollywood walk of fame. they find a place and, we're reporting from arnold's star, as
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if that adds anything. but she forgot the number one rule of reporting, and that is, don't stand in front of giant video screen unless you control what is on it. >> now, every expert we've turned to agrees it's going to take time and humility to entice fans back to his movies. we are live in hollywood tonight. melissa mccarthy, kcal news. >> jimmy: there's some controversy -- is anyone here from tennessee tonight? i didn't think so. [ laughter ] there's a bill in tennessee that would prevent teachers from discussing homo sexuality in schools. it's been approved by the state senate econocommittee. if it passes, teachers won't be able to mention gays at all. a lot of people are upset by the idea, including actor george
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takei, who shot this video to support those who oppose the bill. >> i'm george takei. a bill recently approved in tennessee would prohibit teachers in that state from discussing homosexuality in a classroom. i'm here to tell tennessee, and all lgbt youth and teachers who would be affected by this law that i am here for you. in fact, i am lending my name to the cause. any time you need to say the word "gay," you can simply say "takei." even slurs don't seem so hurtful if someone says, "that is so takei." >> jimmy: that's a wonderful idea. [ applause ]
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fortunately, i've been doing that already for years. meanwhile, republican presidential candidate newt gingrich had some gay opposition this week. if you don't know much about newt, he's like donald trump without the charisma. he's -- [ laughter ] on tuesday, newt and his latest wife were at a book signing in minneapolis when this man -- a gay activist -- dumped glitter on him. to protest his views on gay marriage. and newt's against gay marriage. while newt was giving a speech yesterday, his cell phone went off and his ringtone came on and his ringtone is "dancing queen" by abba. for real. [ applause ] while obama was focusing on abbottabad, gingrich was focusing on abba. what kind of glitter was that? i don't know what it did, but -- can you be against gay marriage when you have "dancing queen" as
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your ring tone? being against gay marriage when you have that as your ring tone is like being against gay marriage when you have "dancing queen" as your ring tone. doesn't make sense. [ applause ] and while newt was, of course, initially embarrassed, it seems like he's actually now embarr'ig it. >> newt gingrich. fighting to cut taxes and reform welfare. he can dance. he can jive. he's having the time of his life. newt gingrich. take a chance on him. take a chance. take a chance. >> i'm nuewt gingrich. and i think this message is fabulous. >> jimmy: that's nice. anti-gay marriage but very pro-gay music. i've always said, "mamma mia" will change a man. is everyone excited about the premiere of "the bachelorette."
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is anyone? this time around, it's a dental student named ashley. she'll be here on monday. when she gets here, i want to ask her about a promo abc is running. >> monday, may 23rd, 26-year-old dental student ashley follows her heart to find love among 25 m men. for ten weeks, she'll wine them, dine them, romance them -- and drill into their teeth! "the bachelorette." >> open wide! >> root canal of love. on abc. >> now spit! [ applause ] >> jimmy: you see what i mean? no place for flossing. and one more thing. another week has come to a close, it's time for our weekly tribute to the fcc where we bleep and blur things whether they need it or not. it is "this week in unnecessary
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censorship." >> on the set of the 1988 movie "twins," a shocking claim from a stand-in named carla. >> he started [ bleep ] me. and then the [ bleep ] went in and i thought -- and then the [ bleep ] went in further and it was -- it was in the back of my throat. >> i have to say, big wise things. >> okay. so, what are you -- >> i like black and white [ bleep ]. >> twinkie the terrier. we're going to [ bleep ] her in a little bit. >> these two leaders actually get along a lot better than people think, and they are actually prefrequent mroo[ blee buddies. >> i work. i play with my [ bleep ]. >> there's a dance event this weekend called -- >> i [ bleep ] love to dance. >> i [ bleep ] love to dance. >> i [ bleep ] love to dance. >> with some of the best [ bleep ] dance teachers in the world. >> what do you say? >> you need to suck blaep blooep. >> and that's what i'm doing,
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guys, i'm [ bleep ]. >> here's more of what we know. he's seen around his neighborhood [ bleep ] a poodle named sugar. >> almost died once choking on a [ bleep ]. i had this [ bleep ] and i was going -- >> is this what the krusty krab calls friendly service? >> sorry, sir. can i take your order? >> now that's more like it. >> i mean, we've [ bleep ] before. >> and he's not bad. >> jimmy: well, thank you. thank you, regis. hey, we have a good show tonight. "science bob" pflugfelderer is here. and he's going to set me on fire. we have music from scott weiland. and we'll be right back with khloe kardashian odom, so stick around.
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we're going to head on hi, plinto the interview. mark . . . mark . . . mark, how are you feeling sitting up there right now? a little bit shocked. mark, what do you think ford is doing right? well the technology of the ecoboost is what they've done absolutely right. did you have to trade in power for fuel economy? absolutely not, for the fuel economy and the power ... it's an amazing amount of power
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>> jimmy: well, thank you, cleto and the cletones, everyone. tonight on the show, our old pal "science bob" pflugfelder is here. science bob is a teacher from massachusetts with a ridiculous last name. this is what happened the last time he was here. here we go. wow! fire! >> jimmy: whoa. here we go. whoa! >> wow. >> jimmy: oh, my goodness. he made a cloud appear in the studio. tonight, he's going to do something awesome with a leaf blower. he's going to do something with eggs and he's going to set me on fire here on the show, so -- [ applause ] i don't know why that would be reason for applause. and then -- lead singer from stone temple pilots and velvet revolver. this is his new memoir called
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"not dead and not for sale." scott weiland is here, with music from the bud light stage. he's doing a depeche mode song. next week on the show, taylor lautner will be here, he's very handsome. wanda sykes is with us, mike tyson will pay a visit to promote "the hangover 2," our new "bachelorette," ashley hebert, from "modern family," jesse tyler ferguson, author sarah vowell, the winner of "dancing with the stars," christina aguilera and we'll have music from foster the people, big sean, maybach music group featuring rick ross, and britney spears. so join us next week for all of that. our first guest tonight has more than 3 million people following her on twitter and at least half of that following her with cameras pretty much everywhere she goes. you can share in her marital bliss on "khloe & lamar." watch it sunday nights at 10:00 on e! please welcome khloe kardashian odom. [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: you look great. >> why thank you. >> jimmy: you are already tall and you made yours even taller with those shoes. >> why do you think i married lamar? so i can wear these. all about that, you have to find the right size man to, you know. >> jimmy: i've always said that. but what -- what if lamar starts wearing the shoes and he gets taller, you have to get taller than him and there's no end to it. like the arms race. >> jimmy: what do you do on your free time? you wear women's shoes? >> jimmy: they're not just for women. >> to each their own. do you still have the pumpkin? >> jimmy: i told you, it was destroyed once you guys reached one year. we had a pumpkin. which would last longer, your marriage or the pumpkin. and you beat the pumpkin. >> jimmy was one of the haters. sorry. >> jimmy: you were married for 11 minutes -- >> i knew him for 11 minutes and
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then we got married. >> jimmy: and this is hollywood. two year, you're like a grand old couple. you should have kids now. >> that's what's so weird. even for my sister kim. she's been dating a few months and people want to, like, is she engamed -- why do you rush things? with the kids, i've been married almost two years and everyone thinks i'm desperate to have a baby. i love kids but i'm also enjoying getting to know my husband. >> jimmy: yeah, well, you can wait for a few years. who is bothering you -- your family telling you? >> kourtney says i want mason to have a cousin. but more -- the craziest story, i was with lamar, we were sitting on the couch and my mom called me and you know how sometimes on a cell phone you can hear the person on the other line and she was like, so, how are you doing, i'm like, good, and she goes, how is everything going? and i was like, i don't know what you mean.
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she's like -- are you having enough sex? and i was like -- what? she doesn't normally talk to me like that. she started getting so graphic and saying, when i was with your dad, i had four kids right away, you're 26, you should be having, on your second one by now. but with bruce it was harder. so i learned -- no. she started going into, i learned all the sexual positions. and, you nope, as soon as he's done, lift your legs up and have him hold them over you. no, but -- i'm -- first of all -- >> jimmy: like a fish or something? >> yes. >> jimmy: look what i caught. >> yeah. first of all the vision that i got in my head of bruce ever to doing that to my mother makes me want to vomit. >> jimmy: it's weird. they didn't put that on the wheaties box, that's for sure. >> no, they didn't. they didn't. [ applause ] >> jimmy: that's weird. >> second, i had lamar sitting next to me and he's staring at me so, like -- is this what you
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guys talk about -- like -- and i swear we have never had that conversation before, for some reason she did it. bad timing, lamar was right next to me and he's like, you and your mom have a weird relationship. no one should be telling you how to hold your legs after sex. >> jimmy: yeah, no. >> so, yes, i get pressure to have kids. >> jimmy: how is lamar doing? are you happy the lakers got eliminated? >> no. i mean, i -- i mean, obviously i want him to win another championship and have that moment -- >> jimmy: you have never been married to someone who isn't a world champion before. >> right. [ laughter ] i have only been married to one person. >> jimmy: lamar still is a world champion. >> he is, double time. and gold medalist and sixth man of the year award so, do not make me get in your face. >> jimmy: i'm on his side. >> i know. one of the last times i was here you were watching the boston/laker game under your table over here. and i told on you.
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>> jimmy: i'm allowed. i sneak basketball under there. but do you feel like -- i don't know why i want to hear he's upset, though. >> oh, no, he is. he's definitely -- >> jimmy: good. >> no, he is. he wanted -- he was so hungry, he wanted to win a third championship, that's what he wanted. and after winning the gold in turkey he was prepared the whole summer to go into this season and he did so well but you know, i mean, you can't win them all but try telling him that. i tried telling him that when he came home and that -- >> jimmy: he didn't want to hear that? i like hearing that. i want him obsessing and preparing -- >> he rewatches the game. and i'm like, why are you doing this to yourself? i have to just let him talk, even though -- i'm learning basketball. before i never watched it. so, i'm learning. and half the time i have no idea what the hell, like, goaltending and i'm like, okay, yeah. and i just -- but he just needs a therapist so i just sit there and let him talk. >> jimmy: is your brother still
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living with you? i know on the show he is. >> yeah, he does. >> jimmy: why does he live with you? >> good question. well -- when we -- first when lamar and i got married, we got married so fast, so -- >> jimmy: really fast. >> really fast. so we lived in a hotel until we found a house. we were staying in a hotel and we found a house and i was so -- i -- including bruce's kids, i have ten brothers and sisters. we all grew up together. i'm so thrilled to be alone with someone, like, just, like, no brothers and sisters, no one taking my stuff. but lamar asked rob -- lamar is an only child. robert has no real brothers and mip father passed away and lamar said, hey, you're 24 -- at the time he was 22, come live with us. it's kind of own your own, but baby steps and he said he's on the road so much, he felt comfortable leaving me home alone -- >> jimmy: this was lamar's idea and he did not run it by you first? >> no. >> jimmy: he should.
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>> and i know a week later robert comes over with a dutffe bag. and i'm like, what are you doing? and robert was thrilled -- we had a lot of, at first, i was filming "kourtney and khloe take miami." robert had no boundaries. now, he is getting the boundaries more. i have a rule that i won't let him bring whorebags over. >> jimmy: does that mean all women? >> no. [ applause ] not all women. my brother's 24 years old so he likes to, you noknow, play game. >> jimmy: how do you determine who is a whorebag? >> well, when you bring a girl home that you were just at a club and you're requesting -- he says, i can bring my girlfriend over. and he thinks he says it's his girlfriend i'm going to say sure. i know what he did. he brought a girl and i'm not going to let random people into my home so, now he's threatening me, because i really love that he's at my house.
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now he's saying he wants to move out. >> jimmy: womell, maybe a few whorebags a month. three a month. >> why doesn't he go to your house? >> jimmy: send him over. >> i'm sure you'll like that. >> jimmy: the camera crew will be ready for him. very good to see you. give my best to the entire family. >> thank you. >> jimmy: and i'm glad lamar is -- i'm a laker fan. i want him obsessing, brooding. >> he is. >> jimmy: building up a head of steam to punish everyone if next week. >> amen. >> jimmy: very good. khloe kardashian odom. "khloé & lamar" airs sunday nights at 10:00 on e! we'll be right back with "science bob" pflugfelder. aaah! [ airplane engine whines ] [ grunts ] [ dog barking ] gah!
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>> jimmy: hi there, we're back. still to come, scott weiland. every few months, our next guest stops by to entertain, educate and endanger us in the name of science. he's an actual school teacher at the fessenden school in newton, massachusetts. please welcome "science bob" pflugfelder. hello, science bob. how are you? thank you for coming out. >> awesome to be here. >> jimmy: who is teaching your class while you are here? >> we have a sub in today. >> jimmy: is science real? >> science is not magic. it's real. >> jimmy: okay. and shouldn't it be -- isn't it better left to the chinese? [ laughter ] >> ah -- it's for everyone. science is for everyone. >> jimmy: that's great. show us what we're going to do here.
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>> all right, sure. do you remember learning about bernoles principle? >> jimmy: who? >> he was an incredible mathematician, incredible scientist, did all sorts of crazy formulas on the way air moves and air pressure. >> jimmy: oh, he was a nerd. i remember him. yeah. we beat him up pretty good. >> yeah. okay. so, anyway, we've taken all of his formulas and all that and managed to use all that technology to make a beach ball float. >> jimmy: okay, good. he'd be prr proud. >> the idea is, when air is moving forever quickly, it create as low pressure. so, we're going to put this beach ball over some fast-moving air and then the higher pressure air around it will keep it in place. >> jimmy: what is this thing? >> this is a leaf blower. >> jimmy: oh. all right. which i have never used for blowing leafs. all right, hold that on. point it straight up to the
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ceiling. [ applause ] >> jimmy: that's pretty cool. why does it work like that? >> well, the air going around it is low pressure and then it kind of all scoots around it like that and then the higher pressure air keeps it in place. >> jimmy: he was something else. how did he get his hands on a leaf blower in those days? >> i don't know. >> jimmy: all right, what else are we going to do? >> this is kind of cool. and i tried it with a balloon but it's too light. so, i wondered if we could do it with lots of balloons. so, come on over here. >> jimmy: okay -- >> we're going to power it up again and i'm going to hold this up. it's a wonderful beautiful chain. point it straight up, there you go. >> jimmy: okay. >> and then you're going to turn it on and see if i can get these just in place to move around a
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little bit. >> jimmy: okay. here we go. >> power it up. there you go. [ applause ] >> jimmy: feel like a circus clown. can i do it at an angle? oh. well -- i got it there at the end. that's nifty. the kids must go crazy for that? >> yeah, science is fun. >> jimmy: i guess so. but then, again, there's no point to that at all, is there? >> science is fun, yeah. >> jimmy: it's fun. exactly. all right. what else do we have here? >> all right, this is a little experiment you can do at home. >> jimmy: good. >> so, all you need is a class of water -- >> jimmy: i have that. >> a little pie pan. you can use a piece of cardboard. a little tube here, cardboard tube and then a nice uncooked egg. >> jimmy: uncooked? >> uncooked.
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raw egg. more dramatic that way. >> jimmy: okay. >> we put that on top. so the point of that is to use a little bit of our physics to get that egg into the water. >> jimmy: all right. >> to do that, i'm going to have you hit the pie pan nice and swiftly that will convert your energy into the pie pan, the energy will go into the tube. because of newton's law, that egg should hopefully just hover for a second and drop into the water. >> jimmy: right? hit it into the audience? here we go. all right. good luck. there you go! beautiful! [ applause ] so -- newton's law. >> jimmy: that's good old newton. >> so, that is nice. you can do that at home. i've seen people do that with as many as six eggs all at once. and that was cool. and i thought we would try to
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ramp it up a little bit. so, we have a few eggs here. >> jimmy: open the curtains. this is even more eggs. >> this is more eggs. >> jimmy: how many eggs do we have here? >> we have 60 raw eggs. we've got our glasses underneath. we add a little bit of drama to add some drama. and then cardboard here and the tubes. and we're going to try -- >> jimmy: should i swat this? >> come back around here. what you're going to do this -- this was the tricky part that we had to do a lot of testing on here. what you're going to do is, you're going -- at the right moment, you are going to pull that and that's going to get those, hopefully, to scoot out, the tubes out of the way and all 60 eggs -- >> jimmy: this is like when you're a magician, you pull the table cloth and everything stays on the table. and that never seems to work. >> stand so you can move your arm back there. >> jimmy: two hands or one? >> one's good. >> jimmy: count me down.
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>> three, two, one -- . >> jimmy: wow. >> beautiful! [ applause ] >> jimmy: wow. and again, there's -- no point at all to this. >> it's newton's laws. >> jimmy: what else do we have here? that was pretty cool. i like that. i love that i don't have to clean it up, too. >> i'll clean it up. it's all right. so, you mentioned a little bit about setting you on fire. >> jimmy: you're going to set me on fire. >> yeah. so, you might want to take -- >> jimmy: take off the lab coat. >> i like slimes and stuff like that. i worked with a couple of friends and we created a specific blend -- >> jimmy: you did, huh? >> yeah. >> jimmy: all right. >> and the idea behind this is that it will act as a -- an
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insulator. and now they are using these great gels in wild fires and spraying them on houses and they are actually protecting the houses from getting burned. >> jimmy: so, we have taken some of their desperately needed anti-fire materials to use for this nonsense. >> jimmy: just for you. now, i put my arm in here, right? >> here's what you're going to do. >> jimmy: great. do these ever help anyone? >> they look good. make a fish. punch it down in there. lift it out and give it a little wiggle. >> jimmy: remember when paris hilton and nicole richie delivered that cow? look at that. >> all right. it's going to drip but that's fine. >> jimmy: okay. >> so, this does not -- >> jimmy: this is -- this is not the first time i've been in this scenario. [ applause ]
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>> all right. that will not burn. this is the flammable aspect of this. and this will burn probably a little loafer 1,000 degrees. >> jimmy: 1,000? that seems like too many degrees. >> a lot. that's true. all right, great. so -- now, we should mention -- this is a special blend -- >> look like i'm in ghostbeustes right now. tilt it up -- and you're on fire! >> jimmy: it's getting hot. >> all right. sorry. >> jimmy: "science bob" pflugfelder, everybody. you can find ideas for more demonstrations from science bob on our website, and what is your website? >>
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>> jimmy: we'll be right back with music from scott wee land. hey man...what's that? it's my crystal ball. it looks like a snow globe. nuh-huh. it's real.! free doritos at the office today? [ crash! ] i think that's a yes! [ man ] free doritos! will i finally get that big promotion? ugh! promotion? not in your future. is the next featured $5 footlong of the month! with tasty chicken, sweet apples and crunch-tastic celery, it's a bushel full o' flavor,
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what i'd love you to take away from it... is that however bad it is now... it gets better. and it can get great. okay little ones, here's the first thing you need to know. you are perfect and wonderful exactly as you are. you're not alone. there are a ton of us out here in this world. who will love you without even knowing you. it gets better ! ( crowd cheering ) there's art to be made. there's songs to be sung. so hold on. look at me, 80 years old. it gets better with age. it gets better. it gets better. it gets better. so much better. you'll be fine, partner. your life can be amazing. but you have to tough this period of it out and you have to live.
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>> jimmy: this is his new book. it's called "not dead and not for sale." here with a cover of the depeche mode song, "but not tonight," scott weiland. ♪
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♪ oh god, it's raining but i'm not complaining it's filling me up with new life ♪ ♪ the stars in the sky bring tears to my eyes they're lighting my way tonight ♪ ♪ and i haven't felt so alive in years ♪ ♪ ♪ just for a day
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on a day like today i'll get away from this constant debauchery ♪ ♪ the wind in my hair makes me so aware how good it is to live tonight ♪ ♪ and i haven't felt so alive in years ♪ ♪ the moon is shining in the sky reminding me ♪ ♪ of so many other nights but they're not like tonight ♪
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♪ ♪ oh god, it's raining and i'm not containing my pleasure at being so wet ♪ ♪ here on my own all on my own how good it feels to be alone tonight ♪ ♪ and i haven't felt so alive in years ♪
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♪ the moon is shining in the sky reminding me of so many other nights ♪ ♪ when my eyes have been so red i've been mistaken for dead but not like tonight ♪ ♪ ooh ♪ ooh ♪ ooh ♪ ooh ♪ ooh ♪ ooh
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♪ ooh twizzlers. the twist you can't resist. ♪ ♪
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>> jimmy: i want to thank khloe kardashian odom, "science bob" pflugfelder. apologies to matt damon, we ran out of time.


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