tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC July 20, 2012 12:00am-1:05am PDT
>> guillermo: hi, mr. kimmel. >> jimmy: come in. i heard you didn't win the hippest high school hipster scholarship. >> no. i'm so mad. >> jimmy: i don't blame you. you have the ironic mustache and everything. well, maybe you'll have better luck with the laundry-doer scholarship. >> the what? >> jimmy: target's giving away scholarships for all kinds of students. click here, answer some questions into the webcam and if you win, you'll get shout color catcher sheets, 4 laundry baskets and $500 in quarters.
>> guillermo: that is very hip. >> jimmy: here we go... >> i see you've applied for a laundry doer scholarship. let's begin. what's better -- clean clothes or dirty clothes? >> guillermo: clean clothes because dirty clothes are too dirty. [laughs] >> jimmy: that was a very good answer. i hope you win. >> guillermo: thanks, bro. i hope i win too. you're the best bro ever, bro. >> jimmy: you too. >> you wanna go grab some brewskis and a slice of za, bro? >> jimmy: no thanks. >> are you asking me if i want to go grab some brew skis and a slice of za. i can't. >> come on, bro! >> jimmy: please stop calling me bro. >> okay, bro! >> dicky: target has all the "stuff" you need to get ready for college. go to targetstuffscholarships.com to see all the available scholarships. >> jimmy: "jimmy kimmel live" is back in two minutes with charlie sheen, nicole "snooki" polizzi and
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>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- charlie sheen, nicole "snooki" polizzi, and music from joe cocker featuring huey lewis. with cleto and the cletones and now, here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ [ cheers and applause ]. >> jimmy: hi, everyone. well, hello there. thank you very much. i'm jimmy and i'm the host of the show. thank you for being with us.
we're all very lucky to be here tonight. first of all, we have not one but two great musical guests performing together as they get set to tour the united states starting in dallas tomorrow, joe cocker and huey lewis. also tonight, i don't know if you can sense his presence, charlie sheen is in the building. [ cheers and applause ]. >> jimmy: it explains why there are no hookers left on hollywood boulevard. just in case charlie sheen is not enough madness for you, snooki is with us tonight. [ cheers and applause ]. >> jimmy: we probably should have invited dr. drew while we're at it. guillermo, are you prepared for this. >> guillermo: yes. >> jimmy: very good. snooki, by the way, is extremely pregnant. and the last time charlie sheen was here, he kissed me. right directly on the mouth.
tonight, if things go well, i might let him get to second base. who knows how great would it be if snooki gave birth on our show and charlie sheen delivered the baby. [ cheers and applause ]. >> jimmy: since charlie and snooki are both here tonight, we came up with a fun game for you to play along with at home. ly read you a quote, a real quote, you have have guess whether it was uddered by snooki or sheen. our first quote is, who said the following, funny how sleep rhymes with sheep. you know? was that snook di or sheen? let's find out. >> sleep rhymes with sheep. >> they're wrong right off the bat. next quote, last night was a shameful train wreck filled with like blind cuddly puppies.
>> snooki. let's have a look. >> it was a shameful train wreck filled with like blind cuddly puppies. >> jimmy: all right. here is another one. i look like a hot drunk baseball player right now and i'm loving it batter up. >> i look like a hot drunk baseball playing right now and i'm loving it. >> jimmy: charlie doesn't say that. we have two more. here we go, do everythisin that. you know, have sex with an old man and do everything to get air forced. snooki or charlie. let's see. >> do everything that you can, you know, have sex with an old man and steal a plant and then get arrested and then do whatever. >> jimmy: i would have had thought that having the sex with an old man would have tipped everyone out, but apparently not. here is our final quote, this is
the hardest one, my passion is to poop and pee everyone and go grocery store? >> jimmy: let's find out. >> my passion is to poop and pee everyone. >> with droopy eyed armless children. >> chast cha-nooki everyone. >> jimmy: screening of the highly anticipated the dark night riesz, anybody going to see that? they sold $25 million worth of tickets before the movie opened. i'm glad everyone is going to see batman this weekend. isle have the whole magic mike theeter to myself. [laughs]. >> jimmy: the last dark night movie was the best. fans have been exceptionally
excited for this one. it's been getting very good reviews and bad reviews. the website rotten tomei toes had to shut down the comment section because people were making death threats against critics who didn't like it. i guess there are some die-hard batman fans out there. >> the critics have spoken. time magazine calls the "dark knight rises" epic. the chicago sun times hails it a masterpiece. the new york daily news says it falls a bit short. batman 39 says shut the hell up daily news. batman is awesome. slate magazine says it's an or deal to sit through. bat man 66 says why are you being such a gay-balls, this movie is going to rule. the "dark knight rises," maybe lower your expectations. [ cheers and applause ]. >> jimmy: i was thinking about it. i really don't understand why
they put the bad reviews in the commercial in the first place. it makes no sense at all. here is some disturbing news for the united states, any way. a new study claims that for the first time ever, canadians are wealthier than americans. i knew we had some of you in here. [laughs]. >> jimmy: we are their mexico now it turns out. over the past five years t value of the canadian household has rinz above the american household. 2011 t average canadian household $40,000 more than ours. i think most of that came from justin bieber and he belongs to us now. needless to say, these money-grubbing canadians are doing everything they can to rub it in. >> hey, usa, canada here. yeah, up here. for years, you may made jokes about us. we're a bunch of mownties. we love hockey and bacon. guess what, we're worth more
than you now. that's right. a bunch of maple syrup guzzling socialists are worth more than your big shot americans and we're above you. that means we can pee on you too. so suck it, eh. a friend lip message from your neighbor to the north. [ cheers and applause ]. >> jimmy: good for you canada. they know we have weapons, right? some people might say who cares that canada is richer than us. we lead ours, they lead ours. i am not one of those people. i make problems. i don't solve them. and i have a plan that i think could tip the scales back in our favor. i would like everyone here in the studio audience, everyone american to stand up. everyone stand up right now. canadians can remain seetded. americans only. on the count of three, we'll all jump up and down for ten full seconds. okay? and if we all do this at once, the force of our jumping will
create a tremor that should dislodge all of canada's loose change and cause it to rain down on to us here in america. all right? let's use our obesity for something positive for a change. ready? [ cheers and applause ]. >> jimmy: on the count of three, three, two, one. jump, everyone! jump! jump! jumping. good. guillermo has it done. i think it's working. all right? now everyone stop. give it a few seconds. [laughs]. >> jimmy: hold on. let me get my money bucket. [laughs]. >> jimmy: it should be any second. [laugh [laughs]. >> jimmy: okay. i guess it didn't work.
but, guess we'll have to borrow more money from china. it was a good exercise. all you care about is money, canadians. speaking of canadians, guillermo, you came up with some -- you're canadian? no wait a minute. put down the gun, please. it's alarming me. with a joke like ten minutes ago. >> guillermo: okay. >> jimmy: guillermo came up with a couple of interesting tweets last night. he's on twitter. he has two kinds of tweets. one -- some of them are about food and the others are things like that, last night at 11:11 p.m. guillermo tweeted don't trust ever smile you meet, okay friends? so give me an example of a smile you met that you can't trust. what happened? >> guillermo: don't trust me when i smile like that. >> jimmy: is there someone specific that you were thinking of? >> guillermo: yeah. >> jimmy: who was it? >> guillermo: my mother-in-law. >> jimmy: oh, really?
i'm surprised she even smiles to be honest with you. five minutes later guillermo tweeted not everybody that looks good to you is good for you. truth. okay my friends. [laughs]. >> jimmy: judging by your tweets your life is like an episode of gossip girl. >> guillermo: a little bit. >> jimmy: you know, you remind me a lot of dr. phil. you both have mustaches. i can't understand what you're talking about. put the gun down. take it home for your mother-in-law. that this orange thing off. the olympics are now only a week away. oh, it's a quarter from canada. [laughs]. >> jimmy: you know, we're going to chop this up into 200 pieces and give it a piece to each of you. [ cheers and applause ]. >> jimmy: we're not really going to do that. we don't have the tools. we can do a load of canadian
money. you can have that. the olympics start next friday and the organizers are getting ready to hand out condoms. traditionally there's a lot of sex in the olympic village and because they can't run out to cvs they provide them with condoms. a the beijing olympics in 2008, they handed out 100,000 condoms this year $150,000. that's 100,000 for the u.s. basketball team and 50 for everyone else. 150,000 works out to be about 15 condoms per competitor. if i had sex 15 times in the span of two weeks, i would feel like i deserved a gold medal too. [laughs] [ cheers and applause ]. >> jimmy: personally i disagree with the con don policy. we have a whole village of physically superior human
beings, don't we want them to multiply? drop the free condoms off at comic-con. there's a lot of concern about the weather in london. predicts it could be cold and wet. they pulled the women's beach volleyball teams. the the weather falls below 60 degrees, they're allowed to wear long-sleeve shirts and leggings which could ruin it. [laughs]. >> jimmy: tickets for women's beach volleyball is most sought after. being a pervert is universal. this is funny. the prime minister of england, david cameron, his home overlooks the volleyball court. i wonder how that happened? [laughs]. >> jimmy: well, driveway have a large backyard. just to give you an idea of what they might be wearing, here is an english volleyball player, in the traditional olympic bikini
and here she is in the cold weather [laughs]. >> jimmy: i don't know what she has the bird for. also because of the cold weather, they can't keep the pools warm enough for the swimming, they have to make some adjustments. look at this here. this is during the trials. you can see the swimmers are wearing the new warmer swimming parkas compared to the traditional suits, they're much warmer. if you even finish at all in one of those, they give you a medal. [laughs]. >> jimmy: it's thursday night and it's time for our weekly tribute to the fcc where we bleep and blur things whether they need it or not. it is this one in "unnecessary censorship" enjoy. [ cheers and applause ]. >> the men tell all, i'm chris harrison. who here would like to see emily [ bleep ] the love of her life? in chicago, they give grants to their friends that [ bleep ] their [ bleep ] and that's what this president has done. >> again, jimmy kimmel. love that man. i feel embarrassed that i stuck
my [ bleep ]. >> you're a very clean person. >> strangest thing you've ever pleep bleep. >> strangest thing i've ever [ bleep ]. >> a shoe. >> it was a lot of talk. >> it's not a crime to [ bleep ] your wife. it's a crime if you actually kill her. >> i might [ bleep ] that's a pobltd. >> he just [ bleep ] his wife in the face. >> it is absolutely illegal to [ bleep ] coyotes. >> it is refreshing and cold it makes me [ bleep ] a little bit but it's cooling me down. >> this is according to russia's mother, okay? quote, he [ bleep ] everything. >> sara, head of the [ bleep ]. >> yeah, that's it. >> i'll open my gait so you can move along, but first you have to help me [ bleep ] my [ bleep ]. [ cheers and applause ]. >> jimmy: tonight on the show,
snooki is here. we have music from joe cocker and huey lewis. we'll be right back with charlie sheen. stick around. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ male announcer ] you get in the zone long before the race. ♪ and it starts every morning with gillette fusion proglide. get your great start... with gillette fusion proglide. ♪ well, that's too bad. we're on our break. maybe one of the other tellers can help you.
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♪ >> jimmy: what a lineup we have for you tonight! a miniature mother-to-be whom you know from both "jersey shore" and her new show "snooki and j-woww" on mtv -- nicole "snooki" polizzi is here. and then -- they are on tour together all summer. you can see them live tomorrow night in dallas, july 28th in holmdel, nj and july 29th in wantagh, long island. joe cocker and huey lewis from the bud light stage.
we've got a great line up for you next week. our guests are ben stiller, jeremy renner, colin farrell, jessica biel, aaron paul, rosemarie dewitt, "the bachelorette" emily maynard and whomever she picks. or doesn't pick. we don't know. we'll have music from nas, trey songz, the head and the heart and rick ross. our first guest is a tireless force of nature who took a brief hiatus from acting last year to go nuts. he is back now with a new show called "anger management." watch it thursdays at 9:30 on fx. please welcome charlie sheen. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how are you doing? all of the guests i say how are
you doing. but to you i say, how are you doing, you know? >> i get that a lot. i'm like, how's it going, how's it going with you. what do you want to know? >> jimmy: last time you were here, you came out and kissed me on the mouth. you left. you never called. i mean, i heard nothing from you at all. and i just felt like i was getting mixed signals. that's all. you can't do that to people. >> how do you think i felt? >> jimmy: how did you feel. >> the phone works both ways, bro. >> jimmy: how did you rate me as far as my lips went? you've kissed a lot of people. [ cheers and applause ]. >> jimmy: there are areas for improvement. >> very moisture rised. >> jimmy: thank you. that's all natural. i put nothing on them. >> you followed my lead, which i
always appreciate. you didn't try to force your issues on to me. >> jimmy: i felt like kigsz you i got to makeout with a billion women all at once. [laughs]. >> jimmy: what's going on in your life? take me today, what did you do today from the time you woke up? >> i flew home from austin, texas. i shot -- i played the president in a film. >> jimmy: you played the president? >> yeah. i guess my dad wasn't available. >> jimmy: you're not black, how can you play the president? it doesn't make sense [laughs]. >> jimmy: that's pretty good, you and your dad. >> i was there for one day. i drank, i swore. i smoked. i put a hit on a guy. i pulled a gun on a bad guy and had sex with four women first day in the office. you guys have to see this movie. >> jimmy: i'm glad you're dialing in.
i thought you said you did it for real, not the movie. >> the film is really good. >> jimmy: that's a good movie to be in for sure. >> thank you. >> jimmy: i read something i want to ask about. you were buying 4,000 lottery tickets a week. is that true? >> that was like a thousands years ago. it was back when it was going to the schools. >> jimmy: sit not anymore? >> no not anymore. they stopped that. i thought i had a shot at winning the damn thing. >> jimmy: i guess if you buy that many, you do have a shot. >> my mom walked in one day and said, honey, you already won the lot toe, why are you playing in here? >> jimmy: thank you. people would want to kill you if you won the lottery. >> yeah. >> jimmy: they weren't scratch offs? >> didn't someone in texas win twice. >> jimmy: it didn't work out ultimately. i think it turned out to be a bad thing.
you did a very nice thing with your money. you donated minimum of $1 million to the uso last week. >> i did. [ cheers and applause ]. >> thank you. >> jimmy: how does that work? >> thank you. i know you tied it to the profits of youfr show "anger management". >> you guys are so make it a hit. >> jimmy: the more money you make t more money you'll donate, but the minimum of 1 million. >> it could be worth 3, 5, ten maybe. i wanted to give something asset mature for the guys out there doing the jobs. >> jimmy: that is very nice thing to do. that's a lot of money for anybody. >> hey, man, you know. >> jimmy: speaking of money, we came across this. you are the owner of u.s. patent. >> i am, yes. >> jimmy: i'm going to show. >> how did that happen, you wonder. >> jimmy: is this something you invented. you can see a drawing of it down
there. there are some more -- >> if i would have known, i would have brought the prototype. >> i was in rehab and had ton of time on my hands, you know what, it's time to get to that invention. >> jimmy: what is this. >> it's a chap stick dispenser or a lip balm dispenser. the chap stick container f you look ate, i have one on me, hasn't changed from 50 years. >> jimmy: okay, yeah. >> you don't have to do this while you're driving and the thing all that, so it actually it's with your thumb -- it's hot out here. the cap comes down like you can see nit illustration. >> jimmy: and then. >> this is how i made it great. blis text calls tonight, there's a window in the front. i'm the guy with the window in chap stick [ cheers and applause ]. >> jimmy: you're the guy who put window in chap stick. is there a holster? >> not yet. there's a thing for a lan yard.
>> jimmy: who do you call when you want to design something like this. >> i met a guy who did -- i don't know, molding injections. whatever they call it. >> jimmy: you have a research and development team on your staff? >> no this guy is really smart. i wanted to make something better thatty use everybody and make it better for everybody else. >> jimmy: do you use the protoe type? >> i bring it out at parties. >> jimmy: you have dialed it back. you have calmed down. >> i took this tube of chab stick, if you make these for seven cents, we'll buy it. >> jimmy: is that right? >> they passed. it's really hot in here. we'll take a break. when we come back, wept to ask you a question, true or false, you were happy that ashton kutcher did not get nominated for an emmy today. we'll find out when we come back with charlie sheen. ♪ this is the first car that i've been totally in love with
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>> jimmy: we're back with charlie sheen. snooki is on the way. charlie, this show of yours, "anger management" is your big come back show after two and a half men. you have a lot of family members working on this show. >> my brother, ramon, my dad martin, my cousin, my nephew taylor who i'm forgotten. >> jimmy: that seems like a lot all right. that seems like plenty.
>> my mom stops by. >> jimmy: she's not on the payroll? >> no. >> jimmy: whose idea was it? >> it just worked out, you know. i got the job. everybody else was jobless. they said, can we join, i said sure. >> jimmy: i see. maybe -- they weren't jobless of course your dad. your dad does a guest shot on the show. >> he's in the tenth episode that we have on. he was on earlier this evening. >> jimmy: you have a good relationship with her now. it seemed is like it was a terrible relationship to start off with. >> it was bad relationship. we decided to marry, fix it through marriage [laughs]. >> jimmy: do you have any goddesses living with you now. >> i don't. >> jimmy: u you have a number of steady girlfriends. >> i have nothing. >> jimmy: are you okay? >> things are great. i thought we could rekindle things. >> jimmy: i see. [ cheers and applause ]. >> jimmy: you've been on this show, you have more freedom?
>> i do. it's not like we're live or anything. >> on fx. >> no, it's really nice that they really have a lot of respect for guys who have been doing this for 30 years and has something to contribute. >> jimmy: ashton kutcher, you wish his ill, true? >> no. he's doing the best he can. gosh. >> jimmy: isn't there some part of you, well, you know, i don't wish anything bad on the guy, it's not like i want him to do better than i do. >> when i heard about it, i felt bad for like a couple of seconds then not so bad anymore. [laughs]. >> that would have been a kick in the teeth. >> jimmy: john chier, did you congratulate him. >> i am right now. >> jimmy: no food basket or anything like that in. >> you were there in your pajamas. >> jimmy: it was embarrassing.
>> did you get nominated. >> jimmy: we did get nominated. [ cheers and applause ]. >> good for you. that's great. >> jimmy: have you seen the show snooki is back stage. have you ever met snooki before? >> we just met. >> jimmy: have you seen jersey shore? >> a couple of times. >> jimmy: it's okay. >> i saw it in passing. the kids are having a good time. they're having fun. all those hairdos and muscles and stuff. i don't know what people are watching. but they're being themselves. they're getting paid. only in america. it's pretty cool. >> jimmy: have you thought of doing something like that, a reality show where the cameras are in this house of yours? we would love to know what's going on, really know what's going on in there. >> the mystery is over then, man. >> jimmy: it would have to be on sin max. >> after 3:00 a.m. it's a pretty mellow, normal household. there's children, animals.
my kids, my animals. [laughs]. >> my parents are is there a lot. it's a really nice vibe there. >> jimmy: i'm glad everything is going well for you. in the show again, if you love america, you will wash "anger management" because the more money charlie makes, the more money uso gets. charlie sheen, everybody, we'll be right back with snooki. [ cheers and applause ] the fresh citrus flavor
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want to start the day with something heart healthy and delicious? you're a talking bee... honey nut cheerios has whole grain oats that can help lower cholesterol. and it tastes good? sure does! right... ♪ wow. delicious, right? yeah. it's the honey, it makes it taste so... ♪ well, would you look at the time... what's the rush? be happy. be healthy. ♪ [ cheers and applause ]. >> jimmy: our next guest has hours and hours of drunken, handcuffed and underpants-free
home movies to share with her unborn son. she's the star of both "jersey shore" and "snooki & j-woww" on mtv. please welcome the very pregnant nicole "snooki" polizzi. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you really are pregnant? >> i know. >> jimmy: you never know. this is what happens when you dtf, you know? >> i know. what the hell? i never knew it would happen to me, but it did. >> jimmy: how is everything going, are you feeling well. >> it's good, but i have severe gas pains right now. >> jimmy: you do. >> but i won't do them on stage. you're good. it feels like i'm going to go in labor. imagine. >> jimmy: no, i can't imagine. jolts. >> jimmy: i would hope you would name him after me if i did
indeed deliver the baby, would that be the case. >> maybe his confirmation name. >> jimmy: that's enough for me. if i delivered that kid, i want dr. jimmy kimmel snooki polizzi. when are you getting married, do you know. >> we don't have plans right now because we want to be good parents and take care of the child and then talk about the wedding. probably like a year. >> jimmy: are you going to have help. >> oh, yeah. his parents, he has a big family. my parents because we're going in blind. >> jimmy: were you nervous about telling your parents that you were pregnant? >> i didn't talk to my parents for a week, usually i tuck to them a lot. they were like something is going on. i called them. well i went to the drrks they're like, we already know. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> yeah. >> jimmy: did you know that gee yanny was the father of the baby? >> of course. >> jimmy: i see the show and i don't know what the time line is
here. >> yeah. the show is six months after that u yo guys see it. so it's definitely gianni or yours. [ cheers and applause ]. >> just kidding. >> jimmy: that would be quite a surprise. >> that would be awe sh. >> jimmy: i don't know if you're aware of this, but i am a doctor. can i give a sonogram. >> are you going to show an um pa loom pa. >> jimmy: looks like everything is doing really well. it's the perfect size, seven months along. >> that's creepy. >> he's drinking beer. [laugh [laughs]. >> jimmy: how old do you think your son will be when he starts drinking? >> i have no idea. but, you know, everyone starts teenager, so. >> jimmy: you start as
teenagers. seems to get younger and younger every year. >> i know. i had my first drink at 13. >> jimmy: that's reasonable u, i think. >> what about you? >> jimmy: we were together. i was 15 probably. >> it was like the coolest thing r. >> jimmy: kind of except for the vomiting, it was great. [laughs]. >> jimmy: you didn't drink at all during the last season of jersey shore. >> no. >> jimmy: does that make it less fun. >> i made my own fun, but it sucked to see my friends taking shots and having a good time. i'm like, cool, just sitting there. >> jimmy: did you like them as much when you weren't drunk. >> i feel like drunk people are so annoying. i can't be around anyone that's drunk. now i know why people are annoyed with me. i'm so annoying. >> jimmy: have you thought about circumstance sigs, what are you feels on that. >> i want him circumcised.
what is that? yeah. i want him to have a normal penis. [laughs]. >> jimmy: is your boyfriend okay with this? >> yeah. odds are you're going to have a relatively small kid. >> very shart. i'm 4'9" he is 5'9" so we are legal mid jets. we'll have a very tiny child. hopefully he will be a good wrestler or something. >> jimmy: or something. you get him on a horse early and he can be a jockey. that's a good thing because if you married shaq or something and you would have, you know a monster coming out of her. >> that's not okay. >> your infant would be the same size as you. >> probably. i definitely want a small baby. we're small people. so. >> jimmy: you get married on television when you tie the knot. >> probably. you guys have seen everything else. why not? >> jimmy: have you decided on a
god mother, god father. >> jenny is going to be the god mother so she can spoil him. and then giani's brother already the god father. >> jimmy: is everybody getting along? do you keep in touch when you're not shooting the show. >> we try to, but just living together for two months straight, we take a break from talking to eacheer. it's like brothers and sisters, you're always up each other's asss. >> jimmy: i know what you mean. >> jimmy: when l they come to the hospital when you're delivering. >> i want them to. if they're in the area, they have to come and see the baby. >> jimmy: who will be in the delivery room with you. >> definite lif gianni, i always want my mom when i don't feel good. >> video tape. >> only for me so i can show my kid when he's 16. >> jimmy: that is a nice pres sant. everybody is excited. in a way, we feel like we're all
a part of this and we all feel like we know you. so i went ahead and came up with a special gift for you because you have pretty much everything you might want, but i think this is something that you don't have for the baby. >> cool. >> jimmy: this is something that you will like. >> i'm scared. >> jimmy: it's nothing to fear. don't be scared. this is baby's first. >> that's cool! >> jimmy: gym, tan, and laundry. it's the baby's first gtl. >> is this real? >> jimmy: yeah, this is real. >> no, it's not. >> jimmy: we have a tanning booth here and then you have a dumbbell for the baby. he can do bench presses when he's really small and then you have this little laundry machine. it's gtl, no hair gel. that's sold sbratly. so we'll help you get this out. >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ]. >> jimmy: congratulations. it's great to see you.
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>> dicky: is jimmy kimmel live concert series sponsored by bud light. >> jimmy: you can see them on tour together this summer. here performing the classic, "feelin' alright," joe cocker featuring huey lewis. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ seems i've got to have a change of scene every night i have the strangest dream ♪ ♪ imprisoned by the way it could have been left here on my own or so it seems ♪
♪ i've got to leave before i start to scream whoa someone locked the door and took the key ♪ ♪ you feelin' all right i'm not feelin' too good myself no ♪ ♪ you feelin' all right i'm not feelin' too good myself no ♪ ♪ boy you sure took me for one big ride and even now i sit and i wonder why ♪ ♪ that when i think of you i start myself to cry i just can't waste my time i must get by ♪ ♪ gotta stop believing
♪ don't you get too lost in all i say yeah but at the time you know i really felt that way ♪ ♪ but that was then and now you know it's today i can't get lost i guess i'm here to stay ♪ ♪ till someone comes along to take my place yeah with a different name oh and a different face ♪ ♪ you feelin' all right i'm not feelin' too good myself ♪ ♪ you feelin' all right i'm not feelin' too good myself ♪