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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  September 2, 2013 11:35pm-12:36am PDT

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>> jimmy: from jimmy kimmel live. tonight, harrison ford. keri russell, and music from joan jett and the blackhearts. with cleto and the cletones. and now don't worry, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: very nice. i'm jimmy kimmel, host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for being here tonight. thank you for your music. [ cheers and applause ]
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all right, who's -- who's ready to get rich flipping houses? you know, i have to say the times i enjoy hosting a television show most are the times when i get a chance to comment on major news stories, the kind of stories that years from now we'll all remember where we were when they broke. for instance, i remember where i was when i found out elvis died. my sister and i were at the movies, and my mother picked us up. and when we got in the car, she said elvis died. and that was pretty much that. we weren't a big elvis family. but the point is it was a big enough story for me to remember. and i hope your mom is picking you up from the movies right now because this one will be too. ladies and gentlemen, it is my duty as a broadcaster to inform you in case you have not heard the news that beyonce got a haircut. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] that's right. that's beyonce's new haircut. wow. she posted it on instagram. it's called the pixie cut. and just like that, beyonce put the weave industry out of business. it's done. guillermo, what do you think of beyonce's new haircut? [ cheers and applause ]
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>> i don't like it. no. i like her old hair better. >> jimmy: you like the old haircut better. that is a great, great look for you. >> thank you. >> jimmy: you look bootylicioso is what you look like. >> thank you. >> jimmy: you look like destiny's childhood obesity. >> whatever you say. >> jimmy: you know, the third largest lottery drawing in the history of the united states took place last night. a powerball jackpot worth $448 million. the winning numbers were 5, 25, 30, 58, and 59. the losing numbers were 1, 2, 3, 4, 6 -- you get all the rest of them. the jackpot will be split between three winners, they had the same numbers on their tickets. so they split. i'm happy for whoever they are, as long as their names are not kim, khloe, kourtney, or kris. but one of the winners was a guy from -- [ cheers and applause ]
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a father. a 45-year-old man from ham lake, minnesota, which sounds delicious. what do you need with money when you live in a ham lake? the other two have yet to come forward but each of them will get $149 million, which after taxes, relatives and jet skis i think works out to about $180. you know, they say money can't buy you happiness, but $149 million can buy you unlimited cotton candy, and i've never seen a sad person eating cotton candy. so they might be wrong. if you want to know what to do when you come into a lot of money i say look no further than the world of hip-hop. those guys know how to do it. i'm listening to rap, and when i'm really -- i actually pay attention to the lyrics. i sometimes can't help but wonder where does this stuff come from? who raised this person? so what we've done is, we've made a list of rappers and we've called their mothers and we've asked them to read their children's lyrics aloud. it's fun. wiz khalifa is one of the most popular hip-hop artists in the
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world. tonight, his mother recites the lyrics to his song "work hard, play hard." >> hi, i'm wiz khalifa's mom. this is from "work hard play hard." hop your pretty ass up in this [ bleep ] car. bitch i'm out this world. girl, you know i'm a star. we used to buy rounds, but now we buy the bar. last year they had to ask, now they know who we are. [ bleep ] walk into the building i own the [ bleep ]. you can tell by who i am by who i'm on the phone with. yeah [ bleep ] talking about grown [ bleep ] [ bleep ]. too busy jacking my swag. need to [ bleep ] around. get your own [ bleep ]. get your own car, get your own clothes. get your own smoke. get your own bitch. you ain't wrecking my gang. get your own clique. that's my baby cam. i'll never call you wiz. [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: i knew wiz wasn't his real name. today was i think the fifth day of shark week on discovery channel. and this is very -- somehow a shark wound up on the subway in new york. true. commuters on the queens-bound "n" train happened upon this foot-long dogfish shark. it's a very scary day to be a rat on the subway today. the shark was dead. how it got there, nobody knows. maybe the sharknado. i don't know. one passenger said it was the craziest thing he had ever seen on the subway in new york. and that is really saying something. one guy took a bunch of pictures with the shark. and he even went so far as to, zoom in, give the shark a cigarette and a can of red bull. the guy took like 75 pictures of the shark with different props. one of them he put a metro card under its fin as if it paid to get in. some people said it was disrespectful, but he said i do think it's disrespectful to do certain things to shark corpses but adding a metro card under its fin is not disrespectful.
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i don't know. me, as a rule of thumb, anything you do to a corpse is disrespectful. yes? thank you. although he was just following the mta protocol, saying if you see something, do something stupid. some people thought this might have been a publicity stunt for shark week. but it wasn't. you know, i'll tell you what it was. i believe -- i think sharks have finally learned how to use public transportation. like when the raptors learned how to open doors in "jurassic park." and no one is safe anymore. this is fun. you know, a woman -- you know those race car ride-along deals you can get at a race track? this happened at a race track in san diego. as a souvenir of the race, they shoot video. they mount a camera on the dashboard. so when you get home you can watch yourself like this.
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[ laughter ] she looks like -- that's the way the japanese animate white people. i've never seen anyone scream with their eyes before. that's -- tyra banks calls that streising. and is she having fun? her visine budget must be insane. but there you go. [ cheers and applause ] this is funny, too. someone in norway heard a car honking for a long period of time, so they decided to go down and investigate. and this is what they found. [ beeps ]
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>> jimmy: norwegian dogs are very impatient there. technically a horn dog there, i think. i have excellent news. it is thursday night, we have a tradition around here, it is thursday night and it is time for our weekly tribute to the fcc where we bleep and blur things whether they need it or not. it is "this week in unnecessary censorship." enjoy. [ cheers and applause ] >> got some bad news today. closer bobby parnell goes on the d.l. with a herniated [ bleep ]. >> this experience has been amazing. i want to [ bleep ] you. >> doing a scene, you hear the director yell [ bleep ], [ bleep ], [ bleep ]. >> alex rodriguez, the biggest ever [ bleep ] in american sports. >> i come home, i'm exhausted, i haven't really been sleeping. there's [ bleep ] in my bed. >> charged from the deep depths of the ocean. if you can [ bleep ] charts you can [ bleep ] [ bleep ] charts anywhere. >> i'm really going to [ bleep ] you now. >> bring it on, bro. >> speaking of sanchez, the play he'll want to forget for the rest of his life is the
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[ bleep ] ball. we've been airing it over and over. >> [ bleep ] on the phone. >> yeah. >> i guess all of y'all wonder why i don't have to play fair. >> i guess we don't, [ bleep ]. >> sucker. >> tree [ bleep ]. >> [ bleep ]. >> [ bleep ]. >> ah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we're going to take a break. when we come back, we'll present our confusing question of the day. that's where we ask pedestrians a dumb question and they give even dumber answers. it's good. plus harrison ford, keri russell, and music from joan jett and the blackhearts. it will be one for the ages. [ cheers and applause ]
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back to the show, glad you could make it. harrison ford, keri russell, and joan jett and the blackhearts were all gracious enough to show up tonight. so they are backstage warming themselves. it's freezing in here, isn't it? we got a new air-conditioner, and we're really making use of it. this is interesting. virgin atlantic, the airline, said they're going to start offering a new service on some of their flights in the uk this month. live entertainment. they're planning to put bands and stand-up comedians on the plane for the passengers. virgin founder richard branson said the new in-flight entertainment will shake up domestic flying. i have a better way to shake up domestic flying. how about making it comfortable? how about instead of music? [ cheers and applause ] what a terrible gig for a comedian, too, on the plane. if you bomb, do you get tackled by the air marshal? you know, the problem with airline food folks -- oh, there it is, here it comes.
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are any of you watching the show "couples therapy" on vh1? this is one of their shows where they round up a bunch of d and f and g-level celebrities and they put them in a house together. last week the founder of "girls gone wild" joe francis got in a big fight with flavor flav. flavor flav is on every one of these shows. he was mad at flavor for something or other and they had to be separated. but this week they -- well, they made up. >> thank you. >> we hugged and we made up. i really hope that it works out. >> joe francis's apology wasn't genuine to me. you know what i'm saying? i do like the guy. he's a cool guy and everything. but cool guys can end up being [ bleep ]. and that is why i call him [ bleep ] face joe. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, that does actually make sense, yeah, yeah, that's right. probably one of the nicest things ever said about joe francis.
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this is surprising. public policy polling. this is a company that does surveys. they did a survey of republicans living in georgia. and according to their findings, republicans living in georgia like paula deen more than they like dr. martin luther king jr. both paula deen and mlk were born in georgia, which is why they asked the question in the first place. 73% of georgia republicans have a favorable opinion of paula deen. 11% are unfavorable. and only 59% have a favorable view of martin luther king. 28% unfavorable. to be fair, martin luther king jr.'s key lime pie recipe was not very good. but that's crazy, isn't it? especially because paula deen herself happens to be an admirer of martin luther king. in fact, she named her last cookbook "i have a dreamsicle." [ laughter ] but the paula deen controversy is a divisive issue. so we decided to use it to bewilder people out on hollywood boulevard today.
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so we went out on the street and asked the following question. where do you stand on georgia republicans who say they have a higher opinion of paula deen than dr. martin luther king during shark week, and does this negatively affect your opinion of powerball obama care? [ laughter ] and here's what they have to say in response. it's our "confusing question of the day." >> where do you stand on the georgia republicans who say they have a higher opinion of paula deen than dr. martin luther king jr. during shark week, and does this negatively affect your opinion of powerball obama care? >> no, it doesn't affect me. i hope everyone receives their benefits and everything works out for everyone, for senior citizens, kids, and everyone. >> even during shark week? >> yes. >> where do you stand on the georgia republicans who say they have a higher opinion of paula deen than martin luther king jr. during shark week, and does it negatively affect your opinion
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of powerball obama care? >> yes and no. >> explain yourself. >> well, yes to some of the things that you said and no to the other things. >> is powerball obama care good for the country? >> yes? >> what's the difference between blacks and whites? >> color. >> what else? >> that's it. >> they still bleed the same blood. so to tell you, we're married to two barbadians from the west indies. >> we've been married for 24 years. >> were they bitten by sharks? >> i think so. they worked on the ships. >> do you know about powerball obama care? >> i heard of obama care, but the powerball's what's throwing me off. >> no, i haven't heard about it. >> it's a new system where you can buy a ticket and if you win the powerball obama care you can win free health care for life up
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to $30 million. >> oh, yeah. >> oh, i thought it was powerball -- >> oh, no, no, no. >> yeah. then that's good. >> oh, yeah. we're all for it. >> so make sure y'all go out there and get those tickets. >> powerball obama care i think it has something to do with just the taxing on it or something like that. >> yeah, that's right. would you like to go out on a date? >> ha, ha, ha, ha. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: sometimes love is the most confusing question of them all. tonight on the show, keri russell is here. we have music from joan jett and the blackhearts. and we'll be right back with harrison ford. so stay with us. ♪ >> portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by jack link's jerky. find your favorite product at retailers nationwide and learn more at feed your wild side.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm zooming along.
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welcome back. tonight on the program, a young lady who has a new movie. it is called "austenland" it opens friday. keri russell is here with us tonight. and then with music from their forthcoming album, it comes forth october 1st. it's called "unvarnished." joan jett and the blackhearts from the sony outdoor stage. we've got a strong line-up for you. next week on the show my darling oprah winfrey will be with us next week. ashton kutcher will be with us as will liam hemsworth, josh duhamel, melanie griffith, christopher mintz-plasse, chloe grace moretz, the great barbecue chef adam perry lang. a lot of people with three names on the show. we'll have music from the wanted, like bryan, the national, and big sean. our first guest tonight is the progenitor of a billion little action figures that bear his face. starting one week from tomorrow you can see him alongside gary oldman and luke hemsworth in the new movie "paranoia." please say hello to harrison ford. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> jimmy: how are you? good to see you. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. i'm good. i'm good. traffic is awful. >> jimmy: traffic was bad? >> i just got here. >> jimmy: i thought you traveled primarily by helicopter, is that not the case? >> you don't have a pad. >> jimmy: we have pens. well, it's very good to see you. >> good to be seen. thank you. >> jimmy: you were on a big vacation this summer that i wanted to ask you about. >> yeah. i took my son and my wife and i, we went to peru. and we were on the amazon river for a while.
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>> jimmy: nice. >> and then we went to brazil, and we were in the part of brazil that's called the pantanal, which is a wetlands. beautiful. really beautiful. >> jimmy: when you go on a trip like that, will you stay in like the waldorf peru? or will you stay in a hut? >> no, no. on the -- in peru, we were on a boat on the amazon river. >> jimmy: you stayed on the boat? >> we stayed on the boat, with some other people, it wasn't like us on a yacht, it was kind of a real person's -- >> jimmy: right. i know what you're saying. >> yeah. >> jimmy: so you could fit a yacht on the amazon? >> yeah. >> jimmy: oh, you could? i've not been on it. >> yeah. it's huge. it's huge. it's wild there. >> jimmy: well, you brought some -- you brought one photograph. >> well, you know, they were asking me about were there any animals?
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this animal was in brazil. >> jimmy: this is one animal or two animals? >> that's one animal. that is a giant anteater. >> jimmy: that is a giant anteater. >> and it is about almost 5 1/2 feet long. and it's the weirdest -- isn't it weird-looking -- >> jimmy: it is very weird. >> you probably can't see it from here. >> jimmy: this is the beak? >> and -- >> jimmy: i don't know. i'm not a zoologist. >> no, this isn't what you said it was. >> jimmy: it's not. >> that's his nose. >> jimmy: oh, that's the nose. >> and that's how he eats ants. he sticks that in -- wherever ants are. and sucks them out. >> jimmy: i could use one of these in my kitchen. >> but he's got the weirdest fur. it looks like he's got those cowboy fur chap things on. very weird. >> jimmy: are they scared of people? how close could you get to -- >>, i -- you know, i was three or four feet away with that.
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i took that with my cell phone. it's not a great picture. >> jimmy: oh, you did, really? that's strange. you really are indiana jones. man jen that, running around -- >> no, i'm not. >> jimmy: -- photographing animals with your cell phone. wait a minute. you're not indiana jones? >> no. >> jimmy: oh, my whole childhood has been thrown into kind of a vortex now. >> probably too late to straighten you out. >> jimmy: you are rumored -- there are rumors you will be part of a very high-profile film series. >> "anchorman." >> jimmy: "anchorman"? yes, "anchorman." that is the one i was thinking of. actually, there are a few i'm thinking of. not only the obvious one. "anchorman." you're in "anchorman 2." >> 2. >> jimmy: did you shoot that already? >> yeah. i was there for a whole day. >> jimmy: oh, you were. okay. you work fast. >> all the way to atlanta for one day.
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and no money. >> jimmy: no money. >> well, a little bit of money. >> jimmy: did you do it for the love of the original "anchorman"? >> i never saw the original "anchorman." >> jimmy: oh, okay. it's good. you should check it out. >> i had no idea who those guys were. i -- and i still don't know who they are. or what they think they're doing. >> jimmy: well, what about "the expendables"? >> because it is clearly unreleasable. >> jimmy: really? >> what we did there -- >> jimmy: your one day on the set you determined it should not come out? >> i've been doing this for a while. i know what works and doesn't work. >> jimmy: what about this "expendables"? there were two. have you seen the first two "expendables"? >> why would i go to -- >> jimmy: well, you're going to be in "expendables 3." so i would -- >> yeah. i am. i am. >> jimmy: so "expendables" -- you didn't see "the expendables" or "expendables 2"?
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>> no, i'm trying to find time to see one of them. >> jimmy: do you want to know what happened? i can tell and you catch you right up. a lot of explosions, let's just say that, yeah. >> yeah, i really don't care what -- i don't care what it is. >> jimmy: well, you have a new movie that you probably don't care about also. it's called "paranoia," true? >> no, i care a lot about that. >> jimmy: you care a lot about this one? >> that's why i'm here. >> jimmy: we're going to take -- >> i didn't just come here because i feel -- yeah, i missed you or anything. >> jimmy: you didn't? really? it had nothing to do with that? >> no, no. >> jimmy: that's interesting. i thought you were just coming to say hi. >> this is business. >> jimmy: we're going to take a break. more business with harrison ford. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] >> the jimmy kimmel live concert series is brought to you by sony.
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nothing but your cell phone. no wallet, no keys. >> digital wallet. >> it will be a driver's license, credit card, more than that. super slim, foldable, with a battery that recharges itself from any ambient electrical source, they will know where you have been, who you have been with. it will track your priorities. expenditures. your health. it will know who you are.
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and it's all ours. >> jimmy: that is "paranoia." opens august 15th. [ cheers and applause ] is that a bowl cut or is that a skinhead wig where they put a little bit of fuzz on the top? >> no, that's my head. >> jimmy: that's your head? >> yeah. >> jimmy: bad trip to supercuts or what happened there? >> no. you know, i just thought it would -- it would work for this kind of guy. this guy is a powerful, rich, you know, cell phone guy, what do they call those -- >> jimmy: guys. men. a cell phone man. >> he's got this giant conglomerate, and they have cell phones and hardware and software and stuff. and his nemesis is gary oldman. and the young fellow in the movie, liam hemsworth, who's terrific, is caught in the middle between these two guys.
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and they're -- it's a thriller. >> jimmy: it's a thriller. >> so i can't tell you. you have to go see it. in order to -- >> jimmy: how did your wife like the shaved head? the shorn locks? >> not so much. >> jimmy: not so much, really? i would be worried if i shaved my head that it would never come back. >> they usually come back, yeah. >> jimmy: well, maybe in the front, but i don't know about the back. part of it would come back. we had dinner a couple of months ago. >> yeah. >> jimmy: a dinner party at a mutual friend's house. and that was a fun time, right? >> yeah, it was -- yeah. >> jimmy: i mean, it seemed like we were getting along, right? i mean, it seemed like -- >> no. actually, that's what i thought at the time. i thought -- i thought you know, it's nice. because i come here all the time. >> jimmy: yeah, you've been here a few times. >> whenever you ask me. >> jimmy: uh-huh. we always ask you.
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>> and i thought well, now we can have a chance to get to know each other. >> jimmy: did you really think that? because that's what i -- i thought, well, maybe -- >> well, i thought actually that we did. you spent more time talking to don rickles than you did to me, and i think that's fine. >> jimmy: well, right, respect for our elders, you know. >> well, i thought we were getting along. and i was really kind of surprised that you didn't invite me to the wedding. >> jimmy: oh. but i wouldn't even think you'd go to your own wedding, to be honest with you. >> that's the way my wife feels about my performance at the wedding. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. >> but you know, it's not unredeem -- you know, i would really like to be more -- >> jimmy: yeah. i would love -- that would be great. >> so i got you something for your -- i got a little something for your birthday. >> jimmy: oh, you did? >> yeah. >> jimmy: well, my birthday is
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actually not until november. but that is really nice. >> i thought it was like -- >> jimmy: no, no, it's -- yeah. oh, thank you. thank you. >> it's a little -- >> jimmy: should i open it now? >> it's a little something that i picked -- yeah. you could open -- >> jimmy: there are two gifts. >> no, it's -- >> jimmy: this is mine? okay, great. did you wrap this yourself? >> yeah, i mean, i was a little -- >> jimmy: oh, all right. a hawaiian shirt, that is nice. that's big, huh? >> a little big. that's the way they wear them. >> jimmy: i will probably need a smaller size, but thank you so much. >> i don't know. >> jimmy: i will try it on if you want just to show you that it's a little bit -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i feel a little bit like i'm working at a circle k store. you know? you see what i'm saying? >> it's perfect. >> jimmy: it's kind of huge. where did you get it, though? i will take it back and swap it out. thank you. >> no.
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>> jimmy: wow, almost like muumuu. thank you very much. where did you get this? >> you can't take it back. it is -- i sort of got it at a last minute -- >> jimmy: from where? >> where's that guy? from that guy. >> jimmy: oh. you got it -- [ cheers and applause ] i can't really -- i can't take his shirt. come get your shirt here. this is actually his shirt. [ cheers and applause ] i can't take his shirt. i mean, it's nice of you, but -- how much did you pay him for it? >> i think that's between him and me. >> jimmy: how much did he pay you for it? >> it was -- >> they didn't pay him anything. he got to meet harrison ford for -- for pete's sake. >> jimmy: hold on a second. where are your pants? why don't you have any pants on? >> i asked him for his autograph.
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>> jimmy: and you asked for his pants? >> i needed a gift for my cousin. it's his bar mitzvah. >> jimmy: give the man his pants back. you can't give your cousin a gift like that. you know, there's a mall right across the street. [ cheers and applause ] you can go put those on over there. thank you very much. well, thank you. it's really the thought that -- >> it is the thought that counts. >> jimmy: it's the thought that counts. >> and i was late and -- >> jimmy: well, you know what? i really appreciate it. thank you so much. harrison ford, everybody. "paranoia" opens in theaters august 15th. we'll be right back with keri russell. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i'm guillermo. i'm going to see if i can survive in the woods with only my jack link's turkey and my friend yehya.
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we're here in the woods. we don't have no idea where we are. lucky for us we have our jack link's jerky. survivors never get lost along as they have a compass. what's the compass say? >> you got n-e-w-s. it's news. >> what about the map? >> the map, i have it. i think we're out here now. >> what is this? >> small tree. big tree. also tree. that the tree behind you. right there. and the sun. look. smile. >> yeah. you don't have no idea where we are. i think we lost. >> the sun going down. maybe you know where. you follow the sun. >> yehya, we're going to go that way, okay? >> okay. >> here, leave a trail of jerky so we don't get more lost. >> okay, guillermo. >> okay, let's go. >> hello! help! i'm here. >> hello. who's there? >> oh, it's me, guillermo. >> guillermo, it's yehya.
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>> this is not working. >> what is that? >> hep. >> what is hep? >> well, we didn't have enough clothes to spell help. >> oh. hep! >> hep! >> hep! >> jack link's jerky. feed your wild side. k link's jerky. feed your wild side. at first, jake's family thought they saved ziggy, but his connection with jake has been a lifesaver. for a love this strong, his family only feeds him iams. compared to other leading brands, it has 50% more animal protein... help keep ziggy's body as strong as a love that reaches further than anyone's words. iams. keep love strong. and i'm here to talk about your bums. these are bum-wipes. do you think that would be quite an interesting addition to your dry routine?
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yes. so you like using them? i do. because you feel... ultimately clean, i guess. you're welcome to borrow my container. it's new, look at that. would you ever use these? i think i should. would you like to have a go? yeah, we could do that. it's awesome! [ cherry ] nothing leaves you feeling cleaner and fresher than the cottonelle care routine. so let's talk about your bum on facebook. where to next? but sometimes, i still struggled to get going, even get through the day. so i was honest with my doctor. i told her i'd been feeling stuck for a long time. she said that for some people, an antidepressant alone only helps so much and suggested we add abilify (aripiprazole). she said that by taking both, some people had symptom improvement as early as 1 to 2 weeks. i wish i'd talked to my doctor sooner. [ female announcer ] abilify is not for everyone. call your doctor if your depression worsens or you have unusual changes in behavior, or thoughts of suicide. antidepressants can increase these in children, teens and young adults. elderly dementia patients taking abilify have an increased risk of death or stroke. call your doctor if you have high fever,
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>> jimmy: hi there, still to come with joan jett and the blackhearts, you know our next guest from "the americans" and "felicity." and from the movies too. her latest is called "austenland." it opens august 16th. please welcome keri russell. ♪ it's very good to see you. hey, you made a movie with harrison ford, right? >> i did. >> jimmy: he gives the worst gifts. really it's terrible. >> he always gave me really good gifts. >> jimmy: oh, he did? no big hawaiian shirts? >> no, no. >> jimmy: what did he give you? do you remember anything? >> he gave me such good things,
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>> jimmy: how many good things did he give you? >> so many. i can't even count how many good presents he gave me. >> jimmy: how are you doing? everything all right? >> everything's good. >> jimmy: now i want to ask you about this "star wars." >> ask me about it. >> jimmy: i didn't get to it with j.j. abrams, of course. you guys worked together on "felicity." his first show, his first big deal. >> yeah. >> jimmy: will you be in "star wars"? >> i hope. can i be? >> jimmy: of course you can. [ cheers and applause ] do you feel like "star wars" is now for some reason more popular than it was? >> it's massive. i mean, my kids watch it. my kids are 1 1/2 and 6. but my son is so into star wars. he is so into it. but now there is this new crazy thing, do you guys know about this? that legos are now -- he's so into lego. and lego is now "star wars" and indiana jones. >> jimmy: yeah. >> it's like all these different characters within lego. >> jimmy: yes. >> and actually, i was sitting on the bed with my son the other day. so within "star wars" lego he had this encyclopedia with all the different characters. and he said i want to tell you a
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secret. and of course as a parent you work so hard to not be overeager. you're like, oh, yeah, sure. and he said, "i love her." and i was like, oh. who do you love? princess leia. but can you guess which princess leia he might like? >> jimmy: oh, the one that jabba the hut has stripped down to nothing? oh, really? >> he was 5 actually at the time when this happened. and i said -- so of course i looked at the picture of lego princess leia in that outfit. and i said oh, yeah, she's very beautiful. what is it you that like, what is it you love so much about her and he pointed to her red lips. and this part. i was like, whoa! >> jimmy: what a horny little devil you have. can you imagine if years from now he develops an appreciation
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for big rectangular women with pointy shoulders? >> with yellow faces, pure yellow. i know, it's really -- >> jimmy: wow. that is something else. you were pregnant when you made this movie "austenland." right? >> it's true. >> jimmy: which must be an interesting thing for a kid when they grow up, and say oh, i was in my mom when -- >> so creepy. it's so creepy. >> jimmy: home movies before you're even -- >> i know, that must be so strange. but it's true. i was walking the english countryside with willa in my belly. yeah. and although river -- this is so bizarre, but we used to say what should we name the baby? we didn't know if it was a girl or boy. and he would say milky. >> jimmy: milky? >> even the person who tied me up every night -- whoa. that sounded really weird. that sounded really strange. too much of my personal life. no, but she would lace me up in these corsets and everything. and she'd go, is that hurting milky? it's like, no. >> jimmy: you didn't even go with the middle name.
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for the milky. i think the older kid should be allowed to name the child. >> do you have an older sibling? >> jimmy: no. i'm the oldest. that's why i think that. >> what would your brother and sister's name be? or whatever? >> jimmy: well, i had a parakeet that i named sheriffy. so just to give you the mindset i was in. >> sheriffy. >> jimmy: not just sheriff but with a y at the end, sheriffy to make him sound friendlier. >> i don't know why the "y" makes him sound friendlier. >> jimmy: no. it's just idiotic. but that's part of the fun when you get named by your siblings. >> i like it. okay. >> jimmy: what is "austenland" about? what is the idea of this film? >> the idea is this sort of lonely heart girl who is obsessed with all things jane austen, sort of stuck in her life. and decides to go pay her entire life savings to go to this place this like sleepaway camp resort where the people dress in all austen gear and there are hired actors to pretend and flirt with you like jane austen characters. >> jimmy: oh, really?
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>> and then at the end you're promised a ball and for one of those actors to propose marriage to you. >> jimmy: that sounds like -- that sounds like "the bachelorette" is what it sounds like. >> right? >> jimmy: but it sounds like kind of a good idea. >> isn't it sort of great and embarrassing all at once? i love that guys have strip clubs and we have -- like we want to be romanced by literary figures and then have sex. >> jimmy: yeah, sure. we don't have sex at the strip clubs, though. i think we're getting short-changed on this deal. >> oh, right, right, right. >> jimmy: but it does sound like a good idea. and maybe for the guys you could have a stone cold steve austinland. wrestling. >> i like that, i like that. >> jimmy: yeah. we're really coming up with some good stuff now. the movie is called "austenland" opening august 16th, in limited release, correct? >> okay. >> jimmy: yeah. that's correct. >> i don't know. >> jimmy: keri russell, everybody. we'll be right back with joan jett and the blackhearts. [ cheers and applause ]
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>> the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is brought to you by sony.
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the "jimmy kimmel live"
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concert series is brought to you by sony. >> jimmy: the new album "unvarnished" comes out october 1st. here with the song "any weather" joan jett and the blackhearts! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ hey why can't we let it go can't stay the status quo ♪ ♪ hey ♪ we go along to get along ♪ that's why i wrote this song ♪ hey ♪ i wanna say ♪ i wanna say
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♪ can't stand to live this way ♪ i wanna say ♪ we can stay together ♪ through any weather ♪ we can stay together ♪ we'll make it through whatever ♪ if we love ♪ i sense you feel the same ♪ no time to assign the blame ♪ hey ♪ we'll go and find some space to dance ♪ ♪ some real romance ♪ let's dare to take that chance ♪ hey ♪ i know you know ♪ i know you know ♪ that it's the way to go ♪ i know you know ♪ we can stay together ♪ through any weather ♪ we can stay together
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♪ through anything ♪ hey ♪ we can stay together ♪ through any weather ♪ we can together ♪ we'll make it through whatever ♪ ♪ whoa oh oh ♪ whoa oh oh ♪ whoa oh oh ♪ whoa oh oh ♪ whoa oh oh ♪ whoa oh oh ♪ whoa oh oh ♪ we can stay together ♪ through any weather ♪ we can stay together ♪ through anything ♪ we can stay together ♪ through any weather ♪ we can stay together ♪ through anything


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