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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  March 17, 2014 11:35pm-12:37am PDT

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news app. next newscast tomorrow morning at 4:30. that's our report. >> right now "jimmy kimmel liv from hollywood it's "jimmy kimmel live". tonight, uma thurman. from "divergent" jai courtney. and music from amos lee. with cleto and cletones. and now, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you so much. thank you for coming. thank you for being with us
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tonight. [ cheers and applause ] this is our -- that's very nice. this is our first night back after a great week in austin, texas last week. and did you feel the earthquake this morning? i felt it at my house. it was a small one, but it was centered right here in town so, it rattled us pretty good. scariest thing about an earthquake is that when it starts you have no idea how intense it's going to get or how long it's going to last. it's like when your mother tells you a story. we had some damage at my house. you can see i took some pictures. [ laughter ] that sunscreen was up on the counter, and it fell into the sink. and my wife got hit pretty hard, too. she had two -- [ laughter ] i think they're bottles of lotion or something. they fell over. and we had to wait like two hours for the maid to get there to put them back. [ laughter ] how does fema aid work? do they have to -- do they just send you a check or -- [ laughter ]
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what was amazing to me this morning was as soon as the earthquake started, literally the moment it began it seems like everyone raced to their facebook and twitter accounts to post something about it. [ laughter ] some people -- i swear some people had jokes up on twitter before the shaking even stopped. [ laughter ] i'm sure the kids are fine. i need to post something hilarious. [ laughter ] because the earthquake happened at 6:30 this morning all of our local news stations happened to be live on the air, which made for some unintentionally humorous moments. >> you know what? bob made all those, you guys. >> whoa. >> whoa. >> okay. >> whoa. >> all right. that's an earthquake. >> it is funny. >> an earthquake. >> big earthquake right now. >> big earthquake. >> that's -- >> a really strong shaker right now. >> whoa! >> we are having an earthquake. right now. a fairly large earthquake. chris brown.
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that is -- he left rehab this morning. chris brown will face a judge today. >> coming up, nor problems for -- >> earthquake. we're having an earthquake. [ cheers and applause ] okay. it appears to have stopped. we're going to -- >> jimmy: a little-known fact. the richter scale measures the number of local news anchors who dive under their desks. [ laughter ] apparently one oufr guests tonight uma thurman was a little bit shaken. she's refusing to come out of her dressing room? is that what's going on? can we send a camera in there? i don't blame her for being nervous. i mean, i don't mean to make you guys nervous. the last place you want to be in an earthquake is in a tv studio with all those lights hanging down. do we have anybody there yet? okay. that's uma's -- oh, she's not -- uma? she's not there. >> jimmy, i'm over here.
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>> jimmy: what? where? >> i'm over here. down here! down here. >> jimmy: oh. [ cheers and applause ] uma. why -- why are you under the table? >> well, i'm in survival mode. >> jimmy: but the earthquake was 12 hours ago. it's over now. >> but this is not about the earthquake. it's about him. >> jimmy: it's about -- oh. look at that. [ laughter ] [ applause ] there's a leprechaun on the table. go back to the leprechaun for a second. what are you doing? >> i'm dancing. >> jimmy: oh, you're dancing. he's dancing. uma, he's just dancing. >> tell him to go away. he's freaking me out! >> jimmy: oh. all right. i'll tell him to go away. put the camera back up. tell him to go -- hey -- oh, he's gone. you know what? they have magic in them. will you come out of the room now, uma?
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bring that generic can of beans. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> you really want me to? soon as i finish these beans. i'll be right there. >> jimmy: i think we left our art department in austin. [ laughter ] and if not i'm sending them back. well, things get very weird whe you have an earthquake on st. patrick's day. this is another clip from this morning. a woman from tarzana called into our local abc 7 to talk about her experience during the shaking. and this lady went through a lot. >> it woke me up and it lifted me out of my bed, and then i heard a lot of glass. and i have a big glass cabinet. and i'm a shoe collector, miniature shoes. and i walked in, and the glass is all over the floor. and i had like about 200 little pairs of shoes all over the floor broken in pieces. >> and you really can't put a value on something like that.
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[ laughter ] >> jimmy: no. you can't. you cannot. maybe we should start a website, send her money or something? anything. your prayers, whatever. see, that's why i collect miniature socks. they're not breakable. the good thing about an earthquake like this is it reminds us to have a plan. guillermo, do you know what you're supposed to do when there's an earthquake? >> yes. >> jimmy: what do you do? >> well, i grab my son, my wife grabs the dogs and we went under the table. >> jimmy: okay. that's good. but these are the three most important safety tips to keep in mind in the event of an earthquake. number one, make sure you have plenty of sparkling water. the reason i say sparkling is because regular water doesn't sparkle and if things get really bad at least you have something sparkly inside you. [ laughter ] number two, sleep with your shoes on. always. that way you can hit the ground running. and number three, this is the most important one, i think. move far away from california. [ laughter ] i don't care how sunny it is. or warm or beautiful.
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[ applause ] the simple fact of the matter is god is telling us to get out and we are not listening to him. [ laughter ] i would be remiss if i didn't wish you all a happy st. patrick's day today. [ cheers and applause ] there was a big parade today in new york. there was a big one in boston yesterday. there's a parade in toronto too on sunday. and guess who marched in that toronto parade. can you? why, look at that. mayor rob ford walking the parade route. he's throwing beads to onlookers. he seems to be having a good time. can you back that up, though? i want to see the very end of that and just rewind -- yeah, back it up a little bit because it seems like rob is the only one in this parade. [ laughter ] either that or he's -- that's not a parade. that's jaywalking. [ laughter ] it's not a great weekend for mayor ford. yet another video surfaced that showed what appeared to be a drunken mayor ford trying to get
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a cab outside city hall on saturday night. he was beet red and cursing. and the next day a reporter from ctv asked the mayor if he'd been drinking and he was not exactly forthcoming. >> just to clarify, so you weren't drinking last night? >> we're good. but i'm here, right? >> we just want to -- >> are you serious? >> get your side of the -- >> were you drinking last night? you never drink, right? >> jimmy: come on, can't you see he's hung over? leave the man alone. [ laughter ] when he promised to stop drinking, obviously that didn't include st. patrick's day. or mardi gras or father's day or cinco de mayo. [ laughter ] weekdays. it was a weekday thing. so he's doing well. we have a time-honored tradition on st. patrick's day here at the show. every year on this show we show what i believe to be the greatest local news story of all time. it's eight years old now. i never get tired of it. this took place in mobile, alabama where it would appear that somehow the entire town had a simultaneous leprechaun
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sighting. >> curiosity leads to large crowds in mobile's crichton community. many bringing binoculars, camcorders, even camera phones to take pictures. >> to me looks like a leprechaun to me. >> who else thinks it's a leprechaun? say yeah! >> yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i've watched that maybe 500 times. i still can't figure out what the hell happened there. it seems highly unlikely that all of those people saw a leprechaun together. but nothing -- it's never been proven. this woman, though, had the most logical explanation. >> others find it hard to believe and have come up with their own theories and explanations for the image. >> crackhead. >> this sketch shows what a leprechaun looks like. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we're going to take a break. but when we come back we were in
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austin on friday, and i sent my aunt chippy to the congress avenue bridge to see a massive swarm of bats. and of course we did something terrible to her while she was there. plus uma thurman, jai courtney, and music from amos lee tonight. give it up! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ wow! what?! it looks delicious. i didn't work out this morning. i should try it? that's pretty tasty. sausage, egg and cheese. this is from special k? no way! that changes things. special k flatbread breakfast sandwiches with multigrain flatbread. eggs, cheese and now available with bacon. 240 calories. if you guys could come back tomorrow, it would be fantastic. a breakfast revelation. what will you gain when you lose?
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. uma thurman, jai courtney from "divergent" and amos lee are here and ready to pleasure your hearts. earlier tonight on abc it was the premiere of season 18 of "dancing with the stars." since we don't have winters,
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seasons of "dancing with the stars" are the only seasons we have here in los angeles. [ laughter ] there are new twists this year. erin andrews has replaced co-host brooke burke charvet. which is very sad. no my opinion no one held the microphone and said "thanks, tom, back to you, tom" like brooke burke charvet. [ laughter ] in the middle of the season the celebrities will switch partners. just like in real celebrity marriages. it will be -- now, as is tradition i am going to make a prediction as to who will win season 18 of "dancing with the stars." every year before a single capezio touches the floor i size up the competitors and i blindly bet on one of them. you can gamble on this stuff. so i've been doing this for years. i'm pretty good at it. first time i picked helio castronev castroneves, who won. next season i chose kristi yamaguchi. she won. then i picked lance bass.
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gilles marie came in second. i went with donny osmond next. he won. i picked erin andrews. she came in third. i chose jennifer grey, who won. i chose hines ward, who won. i picked david arquette, who was terrible, to be honest with you. i bounced back with donald driver. he won it. i picked zendaya coleman, who came in second place. and last season i picked amber riley from "glee" and last season i won once again. [ cheers and applause ] 12 seasons i've been doing this i've correctly picked two third place winners two, second place winners and a staggering seven winners. and that is why they call me nostra-dance-mus. [ cheers and applause ] i am ready to make my prediction for 2014. earlier today i wrote a celebrity dancer's name down on a piece of paper. i locked it inside a tiny briefcase. and then i secured that little briefcase inside guillermo's mouth. right, guillermo?
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[ laughter ] are you ready for this, guillermo? >> mm-hmm. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: drum roll, please. thank you. guillermo, reveal my selection for this season of "dancing with the stars." >> amy purty. [ applause ] >> jimmy: that's right. amy purty is the snowboarder who has an incredible story. she has no leg. how can you vote against a dancer with no leg? the answer is you can't and you better not. that's right. even though she is an underdog at 10-1 i'm putting m money on amy purdy. good luck, amy. let's make this story even more uplifting by winning me a lot of money. [ cheers and applause ] i mentioned earlier we did our show from austin last week. most people don't know this. there is a massive colony of bats that lives under the congress avenue bridge right in austin. like a million and a half bats come from mexico and they live under the bridge in the
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summertime. it's the largest urban bat colony in north america. they become a tourist attraction. every day around dusk the bats suddenly fly out from the bridge and they eat bugs. a million bats. it's an incredible thing to see. so i sent my aunt chippy there to get some video for us. and i also sent my cousin sal to torture my aunt chippy while she got some video. >> hi. this is aunt chippy and we're at the bridge where the bats come out. i hope to god they stay home tonight. but this is a very pretty place. and we're in austin, texas. if the bats weren't here, it would be even prettier. ♪ i i'm freaking out, and i don't even see a bat. i'm getting nervous just seeing shadows. there's a nest up there. do the nats have nests? the waiting is getting me more nervous than anything else. come on out, you bastards!
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come on out! [ laughter ] as soon as the bats come out, we're getting the hell out of here. i know i'm going to start screaming or wet myself. whichever comes first. when those bats start coming out. this is like stupid. couldn't you have gotten somebody else to do it? let sal do it. he's good. [ laughter ] ♪ i think jimmy's a little bastard for sending me here. [ laughter ] he's out there eating a nice meal. he's having his austin special. eating like he's got two [ bleep ]. and i'm out here waiting for the bats to show up. ah! holy [ bleep ]. stay high. stay high. how many are there? there's thousands of them. oh, my god. they're like locusts.
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they're like locusts. ah! [ screaming ] you son of a -- [ cheers and applause ] such a joke. >> ah! >> jimmy: sorry, aunt chippy. tonight on the show from "divergent" jai courtney is here. music from amos lee. we'll be right back with uma thurman. [ cheers and applause ] >> dickey: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by pennzoil platinum with pure-plus technology. visit to learn more about pennzoil's synthetic technology born from natural gas. my tell 'em shemes doesn't solve the crimes. don't call babe ? we're not together. what? i have your lipstick all over my rim.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tonight on the program, starting friday you can see him in the much-anticipated film "divergent." jai courtney is here with us. [ cheers and applause ] and then, his album is called "mountains of sorrow, rivers of song," the great amos lee from the at&t stage. [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow night, ashley judd will
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be here tomorrow, howie mandel will be here and we'll have music from capital cities. and later this week, don cheadle, jeremy piven, tony goldwyn from "scandal," zoe kravitz, and music from yg and enrique iglesias. join us for that. [ cheers and applause ] in the history of film, no person has been stabbed in the heart with a hypodermic needle more memorably than our first guest tonight. she's the oscar-nominated and golden globe-winning star of many fine movies. her newest is called "nymphomaniac, volume one." it opens friday. please welcome uma thurman. [ cheers and applause ] >> my gift for you. >> jimmy: oh, thank you. thank you. i will use this, and i will need it. how were you with the earthquake this morning? >> i was good. >> jimmy: you were? >> it was terrifying. >> jimmy: were you in a hotel? >> i was in a hotel.
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it's my second earthquake in california. >> jimmy: oh, it was? >> yes. >> jimmy: which was your first one? >> my first one was in a tall hotel and this was in a short hotel. >> jimmy: better. the tall hotels are actually they say safer because they're on those rollers. but much, much scarier. >> the only thing that moved in the tall hotel was the curtains, and i could hear the bathwater that i hadn't let out slapping against the wall. >> jimmy: really? >> otherwise really confused as to what was happening. >> jimmy: that is odd. >> nothing else moved. the lamps. just me, the curtain, and the bathwater. >> jimmy: everything must be crazy glued down sow don't feel it. >> crazy glued down. who knew? >> jimmy: my dad was once -- i was growing up living in las vegas. my dad was out on a business trip in l.a. and there was an earthquake and he'd never been in one before, and he called us to say good-bye. and it was great. [ laughter ] he was sure he was going to die. and then all of a sudden it just kind of slowed down and there was like, "all right. okay. it's over now." [ laughter ] >> were you on the east coast? no earthquakes?
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>> jimmy: we're from brooklyn originally but we were in las vegas where there are no earthquakes. really only good things happen in las vegas. >> i heard the baby wake up and then i thought i should have paid attention. you know. is there going to be a bigger bear after baby bear? >> jimmy: they change the rules every three years or so. they used to tell you get like under the table. now it's get under the corner of the table. they're constantly refining it. >> now it's feed a leprechaun. >> jimmy: yeah. >> good as that. >> jimmy: when you wake up to an earthquake on start's day -- i guess tomorrow would be when it really would be confusing. when everyone's hammered from st. patrick's day. >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, i'm having bed spins. wait, so is everyone else. [ laughter ] >> and there's no leprechauns to be found. >> jimmy: you met the queen of england recently. >> i did. >> jimmy: when was this? last month? >> yes. a few weeks ago. >> jimmy: how did that occur? what circumstances? >> it was one of the nicest things that ever happened to me.
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i think it falls into that 12-year-old sort of super cool category. makes you feel away kid. i was invited. there was a celebration of the charter of the royal academy of dramatic arts, which is called rada, where i didn't go but i wish i did. but i got this sitting there in new york and this beautiful invitation comes through. and i was so overwhelmed. then it occurred to me that i could say yes. >> jimmy: yeah. >> so i did. and it was really spectacular. >> jimmy: did he prep you? because i heard there are a lot of rules that you must abide by when meeting the queen. >> yes. when the the number one rule is the one that all your guests have. try not to be boring. >> jimmy: okay. >> do not ply your host with unnecessary questions. >> jimmy: oh, they told her not to ask too many questions, huh? >> yes. >> jimmy: what is an unnecessary question? because i can't think of any. >> your dad's from back east? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: okay. i don't know. i would defend that question. >> yeah. my back eastness i felt very
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much as the room cracked around me this morning. >> jimmy: yeah. you'll be very happy to go home i'm sure. into the snow banks. >> yeah. into the bitter cold. >> jimmy: but the queen. oh, i have a picture of you with the queen in case people think you're making this story up. yes, i have one. >> oh. >> jimmy: there you are. you're curtsying, correct? >> i'm trying, yes. >> jimmy: are you supposed to put your leg behind your other leg when you curtsy? >> if you have to like really make sure you get down far enough, where are you going to put them? behind your ears? >> jimmy: you're like three feet taller than the queen it seems there. [ laughter ] >> only perhaps in flesh and bone, not in spirit. >> jimmy: is it proper to pat the queen on the head when you're much taller than her? [ laughter ] >> no. you pat leprechauns on the head. that's on your mind today. >> jimmy: the leprechauns? >> yeah. >> jimmy: why are you so obsessed with leprechauns? >> i don't nope something about you. >> jimmy: lu excuse me for a second? i don't know what's going on
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here. just excuse me for one second. [ cheers and applause ] you know, i told them -- >> i say that's one way to change the subject. when you want that subject out of here, there it went. >> jimmy: i told them to spray, but they didn't. [ laughter ] i'm sorry. i'm terribly sorry about that. it's very rude. >> no, no, it's fine. >> jimmy: there are probably more of them. i'm going to warn you in advance. how did you meet quentin tarantino with whom you've shot, what, three films, right? >> yes. we've shot three films together. i met him oh, more than 20 years ago because it's the 20th anniversary of "pulp fiction." >> jimmy: that's right. yeah. wow. that's crazy. 20 years ago. [ cheers and applause ] one of the best movies ever. >> aw. that's nice. >> jimmy: did you know him before that movie? >> no. no, i didn't know him. actually, my agent at the time just set up a meeting. i think forced someone to set up a meeting. so we had a meeting.
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it's a long story. but -- >> jimmy: does he have normal meetings in like an office? >> sure, yeah. i had a meeting with him in a restaurant. >> jimmy: okay. there you go. >> but it was funny because i meant to have a meeting with him and i'd been swimming in this pool in los angeles and i got an eye infection. so i couldn't read and couldn't be seen. soon as it was away we scheduled a meeting but the infection went in the other eye. so i had to delay the meeting. i couldn't be seen and i couldn't read. >> jimmy: oh. >> finally i go to have the meeting before it's really too late, and of course i hadn't really been able to read the script properly. >> jimmy: oh. >> i couldn't explain about the eye infection. i mean, who wants to hear it, right? [ laughter ] so anyway, so we ended up getting to know each other really well because i had to talk all the way around the subject. >> jimmy: you b.s.-ed your way through pretending you'd screen the script. >> i b.s.-ed into a b.s. >> jimmy: did you admit that to him later? >> oh, he knows. >> jimmy: oh, okay.
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20 years. that's unbelievable. and those "kill bill" movies. you were so great in those movies. [ cheers and applause ] i would imagine that -- like if there was trouble in this room i would look to you to save us. >> absolutely. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you really seemed like you knew what you were doing with the sword. did you? do you? >> absolutely. >> jimmy: you do? >> absolutely. >> jimmy: you could kill an intruder? >> no. maybe with a glance. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: we're going to take a break. we'll come back, we'll talk about your new movie, which is very interesting. it's called "nymphomaniac volume 1." uma thurman is here. we'll be right back. >> announcer: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by at&t. rethink possible. [ terri ] my antidepressant worked hard to help with my depression. but sometimes, i still struggled to get going, even get through the day. so i was honest with my doctor. i told him i'd been feeling stuck for a long time. he said that for some people,
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an antidepressant alone only helps so much and suggested we add abilify (aripiprazole). he said that by taking both, some people had symptom improvement as early as 1 to 2 weeks. i wish i'd talked to my doctor sooner. [ female announcer ] abilify is not for everyone. call your doctor if your depression worsens or you have unusual changes in behavior, or thoughts of suicide. antidepressants can increase these in children, teens and young adults. elderly dementia patients taking abilify have an increased risk of death or stroke. call your doctor if you have high fever, stiff muscles and confusion to address a possible life-threatening condition. or if you have uncontrollable muscle movements, as these could become permanent. high blood sugar has been reported with abilify and medicines like it and in extreme cases can lead to coma or death. other risks include increased cholesterol, weight gain, decreases in white blood cells, which can be serious, dizziness on standing, seizures, trouble swallowing and impaired judgment or motor skills. [ terri ] since adding abilify, i feel better. abilify and my antidepressant make a pretty good team. [ female announcer ] ask your doctor about a free trial of abilify
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>> jimmy: welcome back. uma thurman is with us. still to come jai courtney and amos lee. we were just talking about -- having a light talk about doomsday during the commercial. >> just a small one. >> jimmy: which is coming by the way and everybody should be ready for it. [ laughter ] >> there's no room in my hole. i'm terribly sorry. >> jimmy: i have a almost cement bunker full of like -- >> oh, you do. >> jimmy: -- peanut butter and beans and that sort of thing. >> i hope you have some clam chowder. >> jimmy: no clam chowder in there. >> oh, it has milk and that'll spoil. unless you have a cow. >> jimmy: oh. maybe you should get a cow. leprechauns are the closest we have to cows. >> you can't milk a leprechaun. but we've got to let that go. >> jimmy: you can milk a leprechaun. that's not true. >> that's what we're doing right
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now. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: speaking of that, i think that's probably the only sexual scenario that is not in this new movie that you're in, milking a leprechaun. >> yes. you're right. >> jimmy: and yet you did not participate in any of the sexual shenanigans. >> no. i wasn't invited to take my clothes off, no. not even my jacket. >> jimmy: but there are some really serious hardcore stuff, almost pornography in this movie. were you there for any of it? >> i had my eyes closed the whole time. >> jimmy: okay. >> i just didn't listen to anything. >> jimmy: tell everybody what the movie's about. >> it's called "nymphomaniac." and it's a serious movie about a real sort of psychological study of a person who is a nymphomaniac, what drives them, what they do, who they are. it's fascinating. >> jimmy: men will always say all guys are nymphomaniacs, so there's no real -- you really can't classify a man as a nymphomaniac. >> yes, you can. it's a sex addict. >> jimmy: that's a sex addict.
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but that's just the story they give their wives after they're busted with the hooker or whomever. [ laughter ] >> so they can make her believe they're cured. >> jimmy: then they go into rehab, which is essentially a hotel. >> a place to meet people. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: who knows what goes on in there? >> i hear you. >> jimmy: and then they come out and everything is better. yeah. >> hopefully. >> jimmy: there are real nymphomaniacs. >> apparently. i was fascinated myself. i looked at script like whoo. wow. that's incredible. >> jimmy: was the script written by a nymphomaniac? >> well, you'd have to ask the director. >> jimmy: do you suspect that he might be? >> he wrote it himself. i think he's definitely deeply curious about nymphomaniacs. >> jimmy: well, sure. who isn't? >> he dedicated a whole six hours of film or maybe seven hours. >> jimmy: how many volumes are there? >> they're two volumes. the first one's coming out. but there's a second volume, but then his own personal cut is 3 1/2 hours long. of just the first volume. >> jimmy: this is one he watches himself at home. [ laughter ] >> i watched it. i watched it in germany.
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it was a perfect setting. >> jimmy: is there any actor in the history of film that is in more movies that have the word "volume" in them than you? >> i might finally have something special. >> jimmy: you are the volume queen. >> volume. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, very good to meet you. we've never met before. >> i know. >> jimmy: sorry again about the leprechaun thing. >> it's okay. >> jimmy: i hope you have a good st. patrick's day. >> it's okay. i hope you didn't do anything to him. >> jimmy: i did nothing to him. i merely escorted him out. and cast him into the sea. [ laughter ] good to meet you. the movie is called "nymphomaniac volume 1." it opens friday. we'll be right back with jai courtney. [ cheers and applause ] >> announcer: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by pennzoil platinum.
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>> jimmy: still to come we have music from amos lee. our next guest comes from a land down under where you know what happens. his much-anticipated new movie "divergent" opens in theaters friday. please welcome jai courtney. [ cheers and applause ] how are you? >> i'm good, man. how are you doing? >> jimmy: i'm doing well. thank you for coming. it's good to have you here. i'm happy to have you here. did you feel the earthquake this morning? >> i did feel the earthquake this morning. >> jimmy: do you have those in australia? >> we have had them. but it's not a frequent occurrence. >> jimmy: you're lucky. >> i rather enjoyed myself. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you did? you liked it? >> yeah. i thought it was cool. it was novel. >> jimmy: was it your first one? >> it was my first one. >> jimmy: so you're in bed i assume.
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>> i was in bed. and i thought -- i woke up like moments before it happened. >> jimmy: oh. maybe you have that thing that dogs have. [ laughter ] >> possible. >> jimmy: can i give you my phone number and the next time you wake up -- >> call you. let you know there's an earthquake. >> jimmy: yeah. just give me a little heads-up you're having a sensation. even if there are a few false alarms i'll be okay with it. [ laughter ] so you enjoyed it. all right. that's good. wait till there's a big one. you're going to go crazy. you're going to have a real ball. [ laughter ] what part of australia are you from? >> from sydney. from the suburbs. >> jimmy: ah. >> you've got some aussies in the audience. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah, we do. we always do. not only do we have aussies in the audience, we have a bunch of people who aren't aussies who are clapping for no reason [ laughter ] >> whoo. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: they spent some time in las vegas. didn't gamble at all. i was just telling them they
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said they get a lot of vacation time in australia. do you spend a lot of time here in the united states? >> well, yeah. i live here now. i spent quite a bit of time going back and forth. >> jimmy: i see. >> for a while. but thankfully, i don't have to do that anymore. >> jimmy: visiting the family and whatnot? >> yeah. exactly. >> jimmy: you don't have to visit them anymore. now that you're a star. [ laughter ] >> no. i still see them as often as i can. but now i have a visa. so i can stick around a little longer. >> jimmy: you can do as you please now. >> yeah. it got hairy for a minute. i was coming in and out. and yeah, i was detained once or twice. >> jimmy: oh, you were? for what? >> well, i think it looked suspicious that i was entering and exiting the country like six times within a year. >> jimmy: it did? why would that look suspicious? they don't do that to hugh jackman. >> i know. it's bizarre. [ laughter ] but things have change it's good. >> jimmy: what did they do to you? >> they pulled me into a room and i had to sit there and they grilled me. they try to trip you up. they're very kraflty. the customs officials. >> jimmy: what do they do? >> well, they just try to coax
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you into saying things that aren't true. and i'm terrible. i crumble under questions. >> jimmy: you crumble even though you've done nothing wrong? >> yeah. i was convinced i'd done something wrong. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: how long do they detain you? >> i was there like an hour and a half. >> jimmy: really? >> sweating it. >> jimmy: oh, that's annoying. but you must have done something if you were worried because if you went in there with a clear conscience -- >> yeah. well, i -- i wasn't trafficking drugs that particular time. [ laughter ] which was lucky. >> jimmy: could have been something in a pocket somewhere. >> the cops pull you over you're like -- >> jimmy: you're like i did nine things, i've got to keep quiet and see what happened. >> i'm so sorry. >> jimmy: but what do you do when you get pulled in? look at this farks i'm an actor. >> no. at that time i was -- no. >> jimmy: but you still had that face. >> yeah. that wasn't working too well. >> jimmy: that didn't work for you, huh? what's it like growing up in australia? do people throw boomerangs and
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all that? [ laughter ] >> boom rangerangs. riding kangaroos. wrestling sharks. >> jimmy: is that all nonsense? >> that's common pastimes. >> jimmy: it seems like of all the stereotypes that we apply to people from other countries one of the truest and probably most complimentary is the stereotype we apply to australians. especially australian men. you know, rough and tumble and rugged and killing things if things need to be killed. [ laughter ] >> we have gentler characters too. >> jimmy: do you? we never meet any of them. you never see a gentle australian wander over here. >> i'm gentle. >> jimmy: are you? >> yeah. >> jimmy: really? i don't know. i watched the movie. you didn't seem that gentle. [ laughter ] you were downright mean in the film, i dare say. >> you thought so? >> jimmy: yes, i did. >> but not now, right? >> jimmy: no. now you seem very nice. but in the movie, wow. in fact i'll show you a picture. and you can see even from this still photograph you are mean. [ laughter ]
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>> yes. >> jimmy: maybe you were angry that somebody put -- black things in your head there? [ laughter ] what are those things? >> it's funny. one of my early trips out here when i was auditioning a lot, i lost a gig. it came down to the wire and i lost a job because a studio exec. said i had a mean guy face. >> jimmy: really? >> my mother was upset. >> jimmy: i bet she was. that's kind of ridiculous. when you say all right, we'll make you the mean guy. >> well, they are now obviously. >> jimmy: you play bruce willis's son. >> correct. >> jimmy: and -- why are you laughing? >> i'm not. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: so i don't know why. i know it's a stupid thing. but i'm interested when people learn to do an american accent because i think we don't have an accent. and then of course i think you have an accent. but is that something you learned from television at home or did you study bruce willis to talk like him? >> study bruce willis. that i have done.
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but -- >> jimmy: you have studied bruce willis. >> oh, yes. >> jimmy: what did you learn from bruce willis? >> so much. [ laughter ] but no, yeah, of course. it takes -- it takes training. i mean, i studied at a drama school at waper we call it. the western australian academy of performing arts. >> jimmy: that's what we call a hamburger. [ laughter ] >> but no, had great voice coaching there. and it requires maintenance. >> jimmy: and also you're acting and all the lines are written, but can you speak with an american accent or without the australian accent extemporaneously? can you drop it and -- >> yeah, i could. yeah. >> jimmy: was that it? [ laughter ] >> no, that wasn't. i wouldn't do it for you. >> jimmy: you wouldn't do it for me? [ laughter ] are there other shows -- would you do it for oprah? >> i wouldn't do it for anyone. >> jimmy: you wouldn't do it for anyone. that makes me feel better.
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[ laughter ] two weeks from now you're on ellen doing it for her. ellen you would do it for. okay. i don't blame you. [ laughter ] are you prepared for what's about to happen when this movie comes out? >> what's about to happen? >> jimmy: what's about to happen is you're about to be chased everywhere you go by about 30 teenage girls, sometimes -- in some cities it will be up to 8,000 teenage girls because this is one of those movies that is bubbling and i can sense that they are going to attach themselves to you and attack you. >> what's the age of consent in america? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: this is why you keep getting pulled over by customs. [ laughter ] it's 18, by the way. be very, very careful. well, it's great to meet you. good luck on the movie. i think it's going to be a big hit. jai courtney. the movie is called "divergent." it opens in theaters on friday. we'll be right back with music from amos lee.
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by at&t. rethink possible. ♪ boom, boom, shake the room ♪ the unstoppable offender ♪ boom, boom, shake the room ♪ the unstoppable -- [ male announcer ] an electric city car here... makes about as much sense as a gas guzzling suv here. ♪ the quick charging, zero emission, all-electric all-new smart electric drive.
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>> announcer: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is brought to you by at&t. rethink possible. >> jimmy: i'd like to thank uma thurman, jai courtney, and i want to apologize to matt damon. we did run out of time for him. he will be rescheduled. "nightline" is next, but first, his album is called "mountains of sorrow, rivers of song" here with the song "chill in the air," amos lee. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ well the morning came like a freight train bearing down on me from a thousand miles of rail ♪ ♪ well it came and gone
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and kept rolling on laying up all night ♪ ♪ with my tear-stained sheet as my veil ♪ ♪ i don't want to see you again i don't want to feel your breath ♪ ♪ as you leaned on me so peacefully while we slept ♪ ♪ well, the morning came with the pouring rain and i felt just as empty as a pail ♪ ♪ with the evidence and your crime confessed don't seem right that it's me that spent a night in jail ♪ ♪ i don't want to see you again
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i don't want to feel your breath ♪ ♪ as you leaned on me so peacefully while we slept ♪ ♪ and i don't want the keys to our door i don't live there anymore ♪ ♪ and i'll do my best just to forget the dreams we've dreamt ♪ ♪ if you feel a chill in the air it's my spirit hanging somewhere ♪ ♪ if you ever get scared look on the bright side you got a new life
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now the evening's come ♪ ♪ and i'm all alone and i can't tell if silence is my foe or my friend ♪ ♪ well i'm holding on but i ain't too strong i gotta get some rest ♪ ♪ before that train come back 'round the bend i don't want to see you again ♪ ♪ i don't want to feel your breath as you leaned on me so peacefully ♪ ♪ while we slept and i don't want the keys to our door ♪ ♪ i don't live there anymore and i'll do my best
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just to forget ♪ ♪ the dreams we've dreamt ♪ the dreams we've dreamt [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ]
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tonight on "nightline" -- as we go on the air, new clues in the search for that missing malaysia airlines plane. tonight the latest theories about what could have happened to flight 370. could it have landed somewhere? who might have been involved? and could this be new video of the pilot himself? we're with investigators asking, are they finally closing in on answers? plus, j. lo has it. kanye likes it. we're in the beauty capital of the world, where the price of perfection could be downright deadly. for these young women it is never big enough. why they are risking it all on bootleg butt injections.


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