tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC September 30, 2020 10:00pm-10:31pm PDT
from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live game night." tonight's guest, adam sandler, in an nba all star edition of mean tweets. and now, jimmy kimmel. >> thank you. thank you. hello and welcome. we are in prime time on basketball night in america. i am your host, jimmy kimmel. we are coming to you from l.a., home of the lakers. and just like at the games, we have a lot of fake cheering. >> defense! defense! >> jimmy: that's weird. tonight, game one of the nba finals between the lakers and the miami heat. the players have been in the bubble in orlando since july, which will be funny when somebody says you just won the nba championship. where are you going? and the mvp says i'm staying right here at disney world.
the heat beat the lakers' arch rival the boston celtics in the conference finals and of course it would have been great to see the lakers play the celtics again. but it's even better knowing matt damon spent the night crying into his my little pony pillow. many fans in miami are fired up. this was the scene there on sunday night. where the bars are open and they appear to have thrown caution to the wind. >> from the streets to the bars of winwood, the sounds of pots and pans are taking over the streets of the magic city tonight. >> oh, my, it is the first time since 2014, by the way, that the heats are going to the final. >> and the fans are going to the hospital because none of them are wearing masks. you can't be a diehard fan if you live, can you? the last time the heat made it to the finals, they had a player named lebron james. this is lebron's tenth appearance in an nba final with three different teams and he's not done. if he wins at the lakers, he says next year he is going to sign with the pittsburgh penguins to win a stanley cup. the nba finals have a long and
rich history and tonight, we look back at one of those moments from history with a basketball historian named snoop. >> hey. hey. what's going on? it's your boy big snoop d-o-double g. roll the tape. jump ball. mad hops. is that a black man out there? that's a black man out there. hold it. hold it. he got a white glove on. a black man with a white glove on. good d. good d. good d. push that. push that. push that. push that. push that. where's the black dude? where is the black dude? get the ball to the black dude. to the black dude! there you go. why did you pass the ball? oh this is when basketball was based on ten passes before you shot. this is garbage basketball right here. you the only black dude on the court. you didn't take the shot? there you go.
black man, two. white guys, none. >> jimmy: thank you, snoop. we have got a great show for you tonight. we have a new, all-star edition of nba mean tweets and we'll be right back with adam sandler. so stick around. [ cheers and applause ] >> defense, defense! because she loves me so this i know fo sho! c'mon! hey ya! hey ya! shake it, shake, shake it, shake it, shake, shake it shake it like a polaroid picture! (you know what to do!) hey ya! hey ya! hey...♪ today's the day to get to your toyota dealer. but hurry, they're going fast. toyota. let's go places
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loves basketball and movies so much, he combines them frequently. you can see him with kevin james, julie bowen and shaquille o'neal in his new movie "hubie halloween" on netflix. please, welcome adam sandler. hello. >> hi, jimmy! hi, everybody. jimmy! >> jimmy: wow, that's quite a beard you have there. >> it's disgusting. i'm sorry. it's not a beard. it's a mask. >> jimmy: no, they're different things. you can't just grow hair on your face and protect yourself. have you been listening to dr. fauci, adam? >> yeah. no. look jimmy, when i keep my mouth closed, it's a mask. >> jimmy: you have like a lumberjack look to you. you look different with the beard than i would have ever guessed. >> i don't look good. i know that but i am doing it for a movie. but my father had a beard my whole life and this is very similar the way his beard was. like, gray at the bottom. i don't have gray hair on my head, for some reason. but i got grays coming out the bottom here. >> yeah.
for some reason, it comes out the bottom, first. it is very amish. it'ser have mennonite, your beard. >> nobody likes it, at all. people on the street go, no! no, adam. doing it for a movie. they go no movie, no go! >> jimmy: whose basketball shoes are those behind you? >> these are -- i'm in philadelphia right now. i just got in this house doing a movie. and it's coincidental. these are lebron james, the man who owns this house apparently, you know, met lebron and he signed sneakers for him. these are lebron james and i am doing a movie in philly, like lebron's company is producing it. but do you like them? they're nice. >> jimmy: isn't that a funny thing we do, though? we will take a man who is bigger than we are, we'll take his shoes and put them in a plexiglass box, on display. >> i know. these are cool. these are size -- you want to know what size they are? >> jimmy: yeah, sure. >> 106.
jimmy, what is the craziest thing you ever signed for anybody? i have a funny one. >> well, you tell yours. i will think about it. >> okay. i had a person, one time, i was leaving a haircut. and -- and a kid came out with a bag of my haircut. and -- and asked me to sign that. and i did that. and then, on the internet that night, it -- he was selling it and saying adam sandler's pubic hair. it's a true story. >> jimmy: how much? how much was it? >> i bought 'em back for 65. how about you, jimmy? how about you? >> jimmy: i think the craziest thing i ever signed is probably guillermo's paycheck, probably. >> that's incredible. that's a great one. >> jimmy: sitting on the stool just watching us right now.
>> hey, guillermo. >> how you doing? >> jimmy: what do you think of the beard, guillermo? >> i like it. i think it looks sexy. so you said you're doing something with lebron. is that what you're doing right now? >> i'm getting ready to do a basketball movie, a scout movie, where i'm playing an nba scout and i discover a player in spain. and -- and i bring him to america. it's that kind of story. it's going to be real cool. lebron's company had it and they -- they called me up and asked if i wanted to be a part of it. >> jimmy: did you meet with him? does he have an active role in producing this movie? >> you know, he's in the middle of a -- a championship run right now. so we're going to get to sitting down and talking after that. but you know, it's a legit movie. it's a legit nba movie because of lebron, right? i came to philly and kyle's coming by to do a quick, little thing. i don't think that's because of me. i think it's because he -- and lebron.
that's what's happening. >> jimmy: don't sell yourself short here, adam. because you are really, you're one of the few guys who really thinks about like hey, i love basketball. i like these players. i am going to be in a movie with these players. you're in with kevin garnett. shaquille o'neal is in "hubie halloween" your new one. >> yes. by the way, two great guys that i get to be friends with now. and this new one has loads of nba guys in it. but one of the coolest things that happened to me back in the day when i did "little nicky," the harlem globetrotters were in the movie, and that was like the best. did you see the globetrotters when you were a kid? >> oh, yes, many times. lemon. curly neal. all the guys. it's funny, now you see the globetrotters. they're a bunch of young, new globetrotters. where's curly? where's meadowlark? >> yeah. >> jimmy: meadowlark is dead. >> yeah, no.
i saw -- i saw 'em live in boston at the garden when i was a kid. and i had meadowlark threw confetti right next to me. and i remember going home and telling everybody it happened to me. i had to lie. i've been lying my entire life so it's like close enough to lie. >> jimmy: and you remember the team that they played always, the designated losers. >> yeah, the washington -- >> jimmy: be part of your the washington generals. your job is to lose to the globetrotters at every city. >> you seem like you could be on the generals. >> jimmy: i -- spiritually, i feel like i am captain of the generals. >> guillermo would start for the generals. >> jimmy: yes. so, before you were famous, before you -- you became famous pretty young. did you ever meet any of these players? i know you're a knicks fan growing up. did you ever run into any of these athletes? >> yes. jimmy, i love the knicks so much as a kid, and when i was a real
little kid, my uncle michael was a very good friend with phil jackson. they played ball together and became tight. and i'm guessing they smoked a lot of dope together. i don't know, just guessing. but those two guys were really friendly. so my father drove me in from new hampshire to -- to the garden to meet my uncle. and my uncle brought me back -- back down where the players enter. and it was after the game and my uncle michael and my dad and me were -- and my brother scott -- we were there waiting for them to leave. and like, walt frasier, bradley, all those guys walked past us. and bill jackson goes, hey, and came over. and my uncle says this is my nephew scott and adam. and phil jackson shook my hand. and i was like holy cow i just met phil jackson. and blah, blah, blah. and then we drove back to new hampshire. and i'm like what? what's going on in this car?
there's something weird. and i smell -- smelled my hand and it -- i had phil jackson's sweat hand. a four and a half hour trip. i kept going phil jackson's hand smelt terrible. what the hell? but he just played a game. so god bless him. i used to -- i hope phil jackson doesn't smack me in the face for that. >> jimmy: yeah, right. it would stink. >> but, but jimmy, when i would go to laker games, i went to literally 600 laker games, and i would sit right next to the bench. and phil jackson always i would tell my friends i know phil jackson because of my uncle. and i'd be sitting there. i'd be like phil jackson said hello to me maybe one out of 60 games. and whenever he did, he'd be like how's uncle michael? and i'd be like can this guy acknowledge i'm a [ bleep ] movie star?
one time? >> jimmy: adam sandler is with us. "hubie halloween" is his new one it's on netflix october 7th. we'll be right back with adam. ♪ at t-mobile, we believe access to the internet equals opportunity. that's why we're launching our most ambitious program ever. project 10 million. to help close the homework gap by offering school districts free internet access and mobile hotspots for 10 million eligible households over the next five years. t-mobile. working to connect every student. (vo) home is where dad takes to the next level. pillsbury grands! biscuits.
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>> this public property. i don't see that happening. >> leave or i will beat you with a tire iron. >> you and whose army? >> me. and me. >> and me. >> and definitely me. >> let's kill him! >> yeah! >> jimmy: no, don't kill him. we like him. that's adam sandler in "hubie halloween." >> why would they want to kill me? that's terrible. >> jimmy: it seems extreme. it really does. what a crazy cast this is. let me go through the cast. you. steve buscemi, ray liotta, julie bowen, kevin james, and shaquille o'neal. you guys. >> yeah. >> jimmy: do you get drunk and just start calling people? how does it work? >> similar to that. yes. yes. i just -- good friends of mine, all of those people you named and i love 'em all. and we got to go to massachusetts and make a movie together. >> jimmy: i don't want to give too much away but shaq plays a very strange character. how do you explain -- how do you tell shaq what his role is going to be? >> you don't tell shaq.
you just say what do you want to do? and shaq goes i'm going to do this. and you go, yes, that sounds just fine. shaq gets the biggest laugh in the whole movie. shaq is just -- he doesn't demand much. we were shooting in boston and he just kind of looked at me. and i -- and i said can i get you some baked beans? and he kept staring. and i said, no? how about some fried dough? i got nothing. i said how about six pints of clam chowder soup? and he gave me like the big smile. >> jimmy: shaq enjoys the clam chowder. your daughters are in the film as well and they had like real big parts in it and they did a great job. >> thank you. >> jimmy: does that make you nervous? especially, with two of them because what if one of them's great and then the other one isn't? >> that would be tough. yeah. no. you only can allow one kid to be so good. you don't ever be better than your sister at anything. so, yeah, no, you make sure that doesn't happen.
but my -- my kids have fun. they were -- they were -- i got very nervous when they're out there. and everybody recognizes that i get a little nutty when the kids are on the set. they've been in all my movies but this is a little bigger than usual. and i start getting panicky and stuff. and the director, friend of mine, steve brill, he's like sandman, walk away. calm down, let me do this because i start getting like get it right! i guess i'm nervous about them wasting people's time that i forced them into -- i don't know. i'm psychotic. they had a great time. they're sweet as hell. and they had fun dressing up and all that stuff. >> have they seen the movie, yet? >> they did. they had a -- what do you call -- a social-distanced backyard thing-a-ma-jiggy where they showed the movie. and they were all like ten feet apart on mattresses watching this movie. and they showed "hubie halloween." and i could not bear to watch
because i didn't want to think my poor kids, if it didn't do well, they'd probably get hurt and start screaming at their friends. daddy. you better love him. so i just stayed away. but when i came back, at the very end, there's -- there's a music that's over the credits. and i saw all the seven kids dancing and jumping up and down so i was like, okay, i guess it went well. >> things went well. you worked with shaq, as i mentioned, and kevin garnett. who is the better actor? shaq or kevin garnett? >> that's a very good question. they both do -- like i have only done comedies with shaq. shaq is -- i mean, he is incredibly funny. kg is funny, too. so two -- two different things. both great men. >> would you ever consider shaq for a serious part in one of your movies? >> yes. i mean, when i watch him after the games, and when he is talking to barkley and kenny and
ernie, the guy is, he gets real. he gets very strong. yeah. he's a very sharp -- i love him. i'll tell you. i forgot to mention my uncle before. >> yeah. >> my uncle michael. i wanted to get this out there, too. my uncle's wife was my aunt bobbi. she dated joe namath. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. >> what does that mean, dated? >> see. that -- they say dated. i am guessing it was some sort of afternoon. but -- but i don't know. but my uncle -- my uncle michael was so cool about it, he never, like, he never got -- when -- when my aunt would say, and then joe namath, my uncle was always very proud. like that's right. i followed namath. not a problem. not a problem. i'd be like, all right, uncle mike's -- got it going down there.
>> jimmy: i guess that's like cam newton playing quarterback for the patriots after tom brady. you slide right in there and everybody's happy. >> that's a good one, man. >> jimmy: well, god bless uncle michael. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and thanks for doing the show. appreciate it. always love checking in with you. i hope quarantine goes okay. >> i love ya, man, and i'm happy you are doing this and this is going to be an incredible series. this whole -- this whole lakers/heat thing is excellent. >> jimmy: it's going to be fun. a lot of future co-stars in this one. "hubie halloween" netflix, october 6th. october 7th. adam sandler, everybody. we'll be back. shaq, steph curry, jimmy butler and more with an nba edition of mean tweets. so what's going on? i'm a talking dog. the other issue. oh...i'm scratching like crazy. you've got some allergic itch with skin inflammation. apoquel can work on that itch in as little as 4 hours, whether it's a new or chronic problem. and apoquel's treated over 8 million dogs. nice.
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start with america's most awarded network. offer the best in entertainment and plans to mix and match starting at $35. with the stunning iphone 11. now get two for just $5 per month. one for you and another to share. only at verizon. ♪ >> jimmy: welcome back to the fourth quarter of jimmy kimmel live game night.
traditionally would celebrate the start of the nba finals with the new edition of mean tweets, but the pandemic made it difficult this year. so we dug deep into our archives and called the very best of the very best to bring you this. an all-star nba edition of mean tweets. >> james harden always looks like he's just about to lead the israelites through the red sea. >> jimmy butler looks so ugly, look like a face you put on a totem pole, bra. looking like a tiki mask, bra. >> if anything ever happens to the guy who does the voice of cookie monster. i can sleep at night knowing we have dikembe mutombo as a backup. that's funny. >> stephen curry's facial hair is a little pubbie. and while we're on the subject,
your teeth need some work. come on, man.la griffin is? did morgan friedman and carrot top impregnate amazon or what happened? >> one day klay thompson is going to leave the house without remembering to attach his goatee that he bought from party city. >> draymond green looked like donkey from shrek. >> pretty sure reggie miller's ears provideifi. >> oh my god! they do! >> russell westbrook look like jar jar binks. i'll take your word for it. i don't know who that is but sure. >> shaq is a fat-ass old man -- that your mother loves very dearly. >> deandre jordan, so close
to -- >> charles barkley has pancake [ bleep ]. that's not true, because i would eat them. >> he looks like his sweat smells like mop water and chihuahua. >> chris bosh talks like a white guy named dennis. >> no. [ bleep ] twitter. ain't doing it. >> that is our show. thanks to "adam sandler." apologies to matt damon. i'll be back later tonight with julie bowen and my morning jacket. so stay up, maybe all night. see you then.
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