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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  October 14, 2020 11:35pm-12:38am PDT

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we appreciate your time. right n this is an abc color presentation. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live." tonight, john cusack. leslie jones. and music from woodkid. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow. hi, thanks. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thanks for watching, thanks for joining us on a warm wednesday night in southern california. we're experiencing the calm before the storm right now. the election is fewer than three weeks away. have you noticed that they give you advice for election day, all of a sudden it sounds like an emergency preparedness pamphlet? it's like, locate your polling place in advance. bring bottled water. contact your neighbors.
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don't touch the doorknob if it's too hot. this could be quite a mess. there are already long lines. voting is under way in several states, including california, where not only are people casting their ballots, they're also cleaning them. >> sacramento county officials are asking people to stop disinfecting their mail-in ballots. the registrar of voters says they have received at least 100 ballots damaged by disinfecting alcohol spray. in one case the registrar says someone microwaved their ballot. >> jimmy: well. that makes sense. what set doing you use to microwave a ballot? potato? i have to say, if you're purelling and microwaving your mail-in ballot, i'm okay with you sitting this one out vote-wise. there are brazen attempts to steal this election going on already. after months of trump yammering about how the vote is rigged, the vote is rigged, the vote is rigged, the california republican party stands accused of setting up illegal ballot boxes to collect votes.
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more than 50 unofficial ballot boxes have popped up around our state. the california secretary of state and attorney general warned republicans that if they do not remove those boxes by thursday, they will face prosecution. but trump is encouraging them to keep the boxes there and keep on trucking. can you imagine, setting up boxes and telling people to drop their votes in? i think the best way to prove there's voter fraud is to commit voter fraud. it's easy to get confused. what your drop-off box looks like, who knows what it looks like, it varies state to state, county to county. this is what an official ballot box in orange county, california, looks like. that is the official box. and this is a filing cabinet. this is not -- this is what the california gop in orange county would like you to use. the guy in the picture is the regional field director for them. they should stuff him in that box is what they should do. make no mistake about it, there's no limit to what these people will do to steal this
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vote. these boxes are not official, no matter what they say on them. you must make sure, this is so important, you have to make sure you're using an officially sanctioned ballot box. for instance, this is not official. this is not official. this is not official. and there are no official ballot boxes in the men's room at buffalo wild wings, okay? guillermo, you voted already, right? >> guillermo: yes this morning, i dropped off my ballot. >> jimmy: i want to talk to you about that because i watched the video you posted to instagram. and i'm worried about the drop box you used. let's look at that video. >> i'm so excited, i just filled out my ballot. now i'm going to drop it off at the official ballot box. right there [ shredder sounds. >> that's the sound of democracy. [ laughter and applause ]
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>> jimmy: one less vote for kanye, i guess. this is a weird one. here's news that doesn't involve trump for a change. a new development in the world of fruit. you know, this is something called the pink glow pineapple. it is a pineapple that's pink on the inside instead of yellow. took them 15 years to develop, which makes me think they probably weren't working that hard on it. looks like a regular pineapple on the outside. on the inside it looks like ham. [ laughter ] del monte is selling these for $49 a pop. $49 each. we were able to find one today. oh, there it is. wow. oh my gosh, ladies and gentlemen, say no more -- >> guillermo: miracle! >> jimmy: it as miracle, the pink glow pineapple is here, wow. all right. so they cut off the crowns, apparently they do this because then they replant them immediately. but it's supposed to be sweeter than a regular pineapple. sorry to ruin the cgi magic.
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it comes with this certificate saying that this is the real thing, it's not a bogus, counterfeit pine glow pineapple. it has actual -- a thing that goes along with it. but here we go, all right. so let's -- if you don't mind, i'm going to cut this up. i'm sure you're all impressed my knife skills. yeah i've been to hawaii. okay, all right. we'll get that there. and then guillermo, you want to come over here and try some of this? >> guillermo: of course. >> jimmy: all right, here we go. i didn't wash my hands, but go ahead, yeah. >> guillermo: it's okay, boss. >> jimmy: take a bite and we'll try this together, we'll see what we think. >> guillermo: wow, this is real good. >> jimmy: you know what it tastes like? pineapple, right? >> guillermo: yeah. it's good pineapple. >> jimmy: it's exactly like
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pineapple. does it taste any different to you than a regular pineapple? >> guillermo: not at all, jimmy. >> jimmy: me neither, all right. finish this up. take that over there. there you go. don't say nothing good came from 2020. by the way, if trump loses, this is the kind of thing we're going to be doing every night on the show. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: the president is on the road this month. he is burning massive amounts of jet fuel to spread his message and germs all over big crowds of supporters in swing states. even as we learned today that his son, barron, tested positive for the virus earlier this month. he is negative for it now. look at this map. cases of the virus are going up in every state that's colored red, which is almost all of them. none of the states are going in the right direction. the second wave is clearly under way. and while you'd expect something like this might make the
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president think twice about these unmasked, ego mania or gys he's involved with, donald trump doesn't think twice about anything. most of the time he doesn't even think once. the president was in iowa tonight where cases are surging. over the last 24 hours, the positivity rate in iowa is almost 22%. 10,000 strong were expected tonight. sadly, 2,200 infected people. even though his own white house put out guidelines saying there should be no gatherings in central iowa with more than 25 people, they're doing this. that applies only if it's not a tribute to him. i wonder if the president passed this on his way into des moines, though. they put up a billboard outside the location of the rally. [ cheers and applause ] trump covid super spreader event, that way. that is literally a sick burn. so last night the president had a rally in zones town -- i mean, johnstown, not that there's a difference.
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[ laughter ] he was feeling the pennsylvania love and once again promised to shower affection on the crowd, whether they want it or not. >> i could have stayed in the basement of the white house, or maybe the top floor of the white house. i could have done that, but i'm the president of the united states. i can't do that. i got to get out and i have to meet people and i have to see people, and i know it's risky to do that. but you have so do what you have to do. i'm the president. i can't sit in the basement and say, let's wait this thing out. i'm not going to do that. and now i'm immune, they tell me, i'm immune. i could come down and start kissing everybody. i'll kiss every guy, man and woman, man and woman. look at that guy, how handsome he is. i'll kiss him -- not with a lot of enjoyment, but that's okay. >> jimmy: he's dancing to ymca, he's kissing guys. is it possible that we might be gearing up for the greatest october surprise of all time? [ applause ] mike pence is my boyfriend! it was a very sexy rally. a lot of pillow talk last night. >> obama used to send them
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pillows. maybe from the pillow man on fox. did you ever see a mantis so much? i've never seen -- i've never seen -- the biggest -- i think he's the greatest advertising genius, mike. if i gave him our budget, you wouldn't be able to do anything else but watch trump ads. the pillow man, i tell you. i never saw so many ads in my life. every day it's a pillow, the pillow. now he came out with a sheet and i'm going crazy, that's all we need now is a new sheet. >> jimmy: that's right. some of your friends could use new sheets. they cut eyeholes out of the hold ones. [ laughter ] i mean, does this man do anything but watch cable news? all the pillow ads, it's too much. the president is trailing joe biden bigly in every poll. i think it's starting to get under his thick orange rind. >> i'm running against the single worst candidate in the history of presidential politics and you know what that does? that puts more pressure on me. can you imagine if you lose to a
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guy like this? >> jimmy: yes, i imagine that every night as i go to bed. as i fall to sleep, i imagine it, and i hope you will understand it soon. there was a lot of biden bashing at the rally last night. his new line of attack is to claim joe biden isn't nice. >> he has no clue, and he's not a nice guy. just so you understand, not a night guy. if he was a nice guy, i wouldn't hit him, but he's not a nice guy, he's a bad guy. he's always been a dummy, but he's always been -- no, no, in his best of years, he was considered a dumb guy. >> jimmy: take it from me, i looked right into an eclipse, i know dumb guy. [ laughter ] trump had a lot to spout about in johnstown last night, so we slowed it down for another fun edition of "drunk donald trump." [ tape playing slowly ] >> what a night that was. remember that night? donald trump has won the commonwealth of pennsylvania.
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donald trump. [ applause ] >> jimmy: i think we just got a glimpse of every dinner conversation after he's out of office. all kidding aside, this is an may who is spinning out. yesterday he retweeted a conspiracy theory that obama and biden staged the killing of osama bin laden and that bin laden is still alive. our president tweeted this. and this is something. you know, there's supposed to be a debate tomorrow night, but since trump wouldn't agree to the virtual format that they wanted to have because he tested positive for the coronavirus, he backed out altogether. so because there was no debate, biden agreed to do a town hall on abc that night. so trump today announced he will also be doing a town hall. but on nbc. and at the same time as biden. so that sells it, now i know what i'm going to do. i'm going to vote for both of them, right?
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>> guillermo: i guess. >> jimmy: thanks, nbc. first "the apprentice," now this. why not a new bill cosby special while we're at it? there's no good reason to hold these events simultaneously. they could delay them, they could -- obviously trump wants this because he knows he'll get better ratings than joe biden. of course more people will watch trump. that doesn't mean -- if my choices are watching a documentary about the bill of rights or a guy getting hit in the nuts with a shovel, i'm going shovel every single time. while donald trump is grabbing any spotlight he can find, joe biden is grabbing headlights. [ car horns honking ] >> jimmy: joe biden is doing rallies for traffic. at least if the speech gets boring, you can listen to the radio, i guess. these are challenging times for sure, there's no doubt about that. when things get dark, i turn to
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a particular member of my family, someone who sees the good in every situation. since we need that badly right now, i would like to share some words of hope from my cousin mickey. >> so fur needing a little bit of help to feel hopeful for the future and for your present day, i do simple things. sometimes the simplest things are the best things. like do things that make you happy. like for me, sit on a unicorn. surround yourself with balloons and lights. drink from a lollipop straw. it can make your heart and fill your soul up. and it's something so simple. it's something so simple. as simple as being kind to somebody. and you know, believe. just believe in something. doesn't matter what you believe in, just believe in something good. believe in unicorns. believe in, you know, anything
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in the heavens. believe in anything that feels good. but i think believing in unicorns is realistic. and i think if it makes you feel good, why not? don't ever give up. >> jimmy: that's right. don't ever give up. and no she's not kidding. we have a good show for you tonight. leslie jones is here. we've got music from woodkid. and we'll be right back with john cusack! knowinit's is hard. eliminate who you are not first, and you're going to find yourself where you need to be. ♪ the race is never over. the journey has no port. the adventure never ends, because we are always on the way. ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: welcome back. tonight on the show, she is the new host of "supermarket sweep"
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which premieres sunday night here on abc, leslie jones is with us. [ cheers and applause ] then later, this is his album, "s 16," it comes out friday. music from woodkid. guillermo what do you think of that album cover? you get a look at that? >> guillermo: yeah, i like it. incredible hulk or something. >> jimmy: tomorrow night, josh gad and former governor john kasich will join us, and we'll have music from foo fighters so please join us for that. [ cheers and applause ] our first guest tonight is one of the best-loved actors you know from some of the best-loved movies ever. his new series "utopia" is on amazon prime video. say hello to john cusack! hey, john, how are you? >> how are you, jimmy? good to see you. [ cheers and applause ] you have an audience. >> jimmy: what's that, sorry? i yelled -- >> you have an audience. >> jimmy: i yelled at the crew because they were not responding to my jokes, now they're overresponding to things. [ laughter ] i wouldn't call them an audience
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as much as -- >> have you played with the laugh track yet or no? >> jimmy: no, no laugh track, but we're this close, real close. [ laughter ] >> i'm the guy could use a laugh track. >> jimmy: i would appreciate it, could use all the help i can get. by the way, i know it's a few months back, but i enjoyed seeing you in "the last dance," the michael jordan documentary, talking about michael and the bulls, just as a fan. you're a long-time fan, obviously. >> absolutely. absolutely. i was lucky enough to grow up in chicago when jordan first came into the league. and watched his rise and watch him kind of conquer the detroit pistons, then start his reign as the best basketball player ever, with all due respect to lebron and all the others. there's never been anybody like michael. >> jimmy: in your mind, is there any possibility that lebron could surpass michael? say if lebron were to win four more titles, would he pass
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jordan? >> they're all so good, it's just -- the thing for me, which i don't know if it's a good thing or bad thing, but like hockey used to be a lot tougher, like they used to fight all the time in hockey. >> jimmy: right. >> when michael was coming up, if somebody went into the paint to try to get above the rim, like anthony mason was going to hit you and you were going to go down. so it was a lot tougher game. so i just remember that. so it makes his accomplishments, to me, seem even more incredible. >> jimmy: you became friendly with michael jordan. would you say he's a friend of yours, an acquaintance? >> i would say so. yeah. it's a -- i would say acquaintance, friend, chicago guys. >> jimmy: what does that mean? do you hang out together? do you go places? do you meet places? >> yeah, you know, we went out a couple times. back then it was a time when there was no, you know, cell phones. >> jimmy: yes. >> and there were no pictures so you could kind of get lost in a bar pretty well. so you could roughhouse with guys like that. i went out one night with jordan, and let's see, the super
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bowl mvp, richard dent. they started roughhousing. before i knew it, rich abandon dent had lifted me over his head with one arm. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. i thought he wife thrown me through the ceiling. great peril. >> jimmy: did you do anything to earn that, or was it just a feat of strength? >> it was just a sort of a bit of roughhousing and alcohol with people who were really big and strong. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: when you talk to michael jordan, i'm just interested in your friendship. because i think you are a chicago icon in a similar way that he is. >> no, no, no. >> jimmy: yeah, but you are. i mean, listen -- [ applause ] >> jimmy: it's not michael jordan, but -- >> i tell you one thing. for me, i just fan out, geek out, right? i say, michael, who is the toughest -- here's a question. if you asked who was the toughest person to defend against the great michael jordan in his whole career, who would he answer, without a split-second, who is his answer?
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>> jimmy: interesting. god, i don't know. >> do you have it? without a second's hesitation he says, kevin mchale. >> jimmy: kevin mchale of the celtics, wow, really. >> we're talking about old-school. i would just geek out with that stuff. >> jimmy: was kevin mchale even on jordan a lot, i wonder? >> remember when he first scored i think 63 or 70 points against the celtics back when larry bird and parrish and mchale was on that team, he said that he was -- that's why he developed his fadeaway jump shot, i think, was to get away from kevin mchale. >> jimmy: wow. that's -- wow, that's got to be exciting for kevin mchale, i would think, huh? >> i was amazed. then, you know, it's like, if you have -- in chicago, if you hang out -- used to hang out and pick greg maddux's brain, the great pitcher. what can you tell me that no one knows about your hall of fame career? he said, i want to give up the most 0-2 hits in history, i'm never wasting that 0-2 pitch. >> jimmy: wow. >> just a sports geek. >> jimmy: he's from my hometown
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of las vegas, greg maddux. you're talking my language there. there's a photograph i want to ask you about. because this is the last time that michael and kobe played against each other in a game. michael was with the wizards. and there you are, the big gulp or something in your hand. [ laughter ] >> yeah, it is a big gulp. >> jimmy: and everyone's laughing. do you remember anything about this moment? i know it was just something that was snapped, and maybe you don't. >> no, of course i remember. i remember every game that i think michael played, all of it. when he came back with the wizards, i would go to as many as i could. go off the bench, come ba in, he would say, no, no, no, i'm done, ice up his knees. at that moment, some point in the game everybody knew michael and kobe were going to go one on one. so kobe got the ball. he cleared everybody out. everybody started to, you know, bristle up with anticipation. it was going to be kobe against michael. kobe started to drive. michael stepped in front of him, right in front of me. he took the charge. and he went down, and kobe was
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standing above him. and michael just looked and up he said, well everybody in the [ bleep ] building knew you weren't going to pass. [ applause ] there was a pause. the old pro got him. the old guy got him, and kobe just started laughing, they both started laughing. that's what they said there, and that's why everybody around them busted up. >> jimmy: that is a great story. >> so you really felt the passing of the torch, you know. one great to the other. you felt it was a moment in sports. it was really amazing to be in. >> jimmy: that is pretty great. you know, i was thinking about this. the movie "high fidelity." really, some of my favorite movies are your movies. [ applause ] >> thank you. >> jimmy: that is one of them. and that is -- as i recall, somebody who we now know and love, jack black, that was his breakout role in that film. did you know jack before that movie? >> yeah, yep. you know, i was lucky at the time, i was making some movies with a guy named joe roth who
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ran disney. i made "grosse pointe blank" over there. they had the back. he asked me if i wanted to adapt it. as soon as i read the book, i saw jack as the character. and -- because i knew something about jack no one else knew, i knew how great an actor he was. he'd been in a few tiny things but i knew he was an unbelievably great actor and hilarious guy. i also knew he could seen, because i'd seen tenacious d play. that was really shocking too. i felt he was the perfect guy for it. so i said, come company do this thing. hi thought steven freers was scary but first, but no, come do it. >> jimmy: you had to talk him into doing it? >> i think he had to make sure we weren't all crazy. >> jimmy: and did he come to that conclusion? >> well, he did the movie, so i think -- >> jimmy: okay, good, all right. >> yeah. but i think he was happy about it. >> jimmy: i would hope so. john cusack is with us. he's got a new show called
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"utopia" on amazon prime video. we'll be right back. we're for those who love to discover. who know an open mind is the only kind. who don't need to travel to find something new. who know where to escape, even just for a moment. who don't need a fortune to find a gem. and who know when you spend less, you can discover even more. and never, ever stop discovering. spend less, discover more. at t.j. maxx, marshalls, and homegoods.
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but i bet i love kellogg's frosted flakes more than you. come on buddy my picture is on the box... it's the truth tony! tie breaker, who's got the deeper voice? they're gr-r-reat! i win! i win! ohhh, you're cute when you're wrong. they're gr-r-reat! i wiwhat?win! never. are you kidding me?
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for years, the residential burden has gone up. while the corporate burden has gone down. prop 15 reverses that. it closes corporate loopholes and invests in schools, small business, and firefighters. and when the big corporations pay more, your tax bill goes down. that's right. a savings of a hundred twenty-one dollars a year for the average home. give homeowners a break. vote yes on 15. woman 1: get your woman 2: you can stay healthy and fill it out from the safety of home. surfer: or you can fill it out anywhere. man 1: it's easy to mail it back. you don't even need a stamp. man 2: or you can use an official drop box. woman 3: you can even drop it off at the polls. man 3: then, track it to confirm your county got it. see? they got it! woman 4: mail ballots are the simple, safe, and secure way to ensure that your vote is counted. proposition 16 takes some women make as little as 42% of what a man makes.
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voting yes on prop 16 helps us fix that. it's supported by leaders like kamala harris and opposed by those who have always opposed equality. we either fall from grace or we rise. together. proposition 16 provides equal opportunities, levelling the playing field for all of us. vote yes on prop 16.
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we're going to need an emergency use authorization for the nervous suits at the fda. they want to put an honest face on this, well, what's more honest than the guy who discovered the flu than cured it. >> i couldn't agree more. >> we don't even know that my vaccine -- >> sorry, i'm just so excited. can't wait to tell the world, we have the flu, we have a vaccine, and we can cure our kids.
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>> jimmy: that is john cusack and rainn wilson in "ewe pope yeah." what can you tell us about the show that won't reveal too much? because i'm fearful i might. >> it's one of those -- it's a show with a -- gillian flynn wrote it. i think you know her from "gone girl" and "sharp objects" and many of her novels. there's a great cast of characters with rainn and a bunch of other people. it was based on the british tv show "utopia" but gillian reimagined it. it's hard to talk about it, because in every episode, whatever you think your assumption is about the show, there's a sort of trap door and you feel you've gone down the rabbit hole into another episode. it's hard to talk about because you don't want to spoil -- it's got a lot of dystopic, utopian themes. it kind of in a surreal way parallels the craziness now. >> jimmy: you shot this before
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covid and that is a coincidence? >> yes, coincidence. eerie and sort of surreal, yeah. >> jimmy: do you think that's a coincidence that helps the show or not? >> i don't know. i mean -- i don't know. it's one of those things where it just -- the theme, if you're doing kind of dystopic themes, talking about climate change, pandemics, global warming, endless wars, all the kind of insanities of modern life, then it's kind of hard to avoid that. but we certainly didn't think it was going to be looking out the window, we didn't think we were going to have a pandemic around us. >> jimmy: what's like in chicago right now? >> chicago is -- you know, depends on where you are. there were boards-up buildings from some of the riots and things like that and some businesses are boarded up. so it sort of comes and goes. but people are eating outside. and i think trying to, you know -- everybody's wearing masks, thank god. >> jimmy: have you voted yet, or did you just throw your ballot
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in the river? [ laughter ] >> no, sir. i did vote. i voted for -- i guess you probably imagine who i voted for. >> jimmy: well, i know you were a real -- a very vocal bernie sanders supporter. senator sanders i think has a concern -- i spoke to him about it a couple of weeks ago -- that some of his biggest backers might not vote for joe biden. >> yeah. >> jimmy: what do you say to that? >> well, what i say is, you know, when a person respects you, they tell you the truth. and i've known sanders for a long time. and bernie doesn't lie to anybody. so he respects everybody, and he tells them the truth. and he says that he's gotten some concessions from biden, as much as all the progressives want, absolutely not. but when you look at the alternative, you know, which is, can bernie and the progressives move the democratic party towards kind of a new deal center, like going back to the fdr days, including race and
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intersectionality and economic justice? or you get fascism with trump, where it's just lawless. i think when bernie says we're going to have progressive movement with this administration, i think he's telling you the truth. and i think you can trust bernie. and he's announced that he'll be in charge of health care, which i think you were so fantastic to use your platform to help people -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you for saying that. >> it's -- you know, you took a risk. and you did it from your heart. but i think what he said he's going to be in charge health care reform. if you know bernie's going to be in charge of expanding health care, hold the lever. it might not be what you want right away, but it's going to be -- i think you have to vote out trump. >> jimmy: thanks, john.
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john's show is called "utopia." it's on amazon prime video right now. john cusack, everybody. thanks, john. [ cheers and applause ] we'll be back with leslie jones! ♪ my finger is on the button ♪ ♪ my finger is on the button ♪ push the button ♪ ♪ the time has come to ♪ ♪ galvanize ♪ ♪ we undeniable ♪ finally, a mopping cloth that kills 99.9 percent of germs. from clorox. bradley, get a freshly made subway footlong instead.
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in the tubbs fire. the flames, the ash, it was terrifying. thousands of family homes are destroyed in wildfires. families are forced to move and higher property taxes are a huge problem. prop 19 limits taxes on wildfire victims
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so families can move without a tax penalty. nineteen will help rebuild lives. vote 'yes' on 19. >> jimmy: welcome back. leslie jones and woodkid are on the way. these days people are spending more time than ever with their families, including their pets. our friend guillermo and his
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dogs have developed a very special bond. >> hi, i'm guillermo and my dogs, rebel and bella, love my jokes. right, guys? hike this one. what as dog's favorite vegetable? collie-flower. they think that's hilarious. but there's one thing that we take very serious. delicious, nutritious food. right, guys? other dog foods ar joke, full of filler er fillers. canidae is different, packed with nutrition. what market do dogs hate? a flea market! well, bella, too soon? she just had fleas. i love you guys. >> dicky: get 50% off a bag of
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i felt gross. it was kind of a shock after i started cosentyx. four years clear. real people with psoriasis look and feel better with cosentyx. don't use if you're allergic to cosentyx. before starting, get checked for tuberculosis. an increased risk of infections and lowered ability to fight them may occur. tell your doctor about an infection or symptoms, if your inflammatory bowel disease symptoms develop or worsen, or if you've had a vaccine or plan to. serious allergic reactions may occur. learn more at ♪dy-na-na-na, na-na, na-na, eh♪ ♪dy-na-na-na, na-na, na-na, eh♪ ♪dy-na-na-na, na-na, na-na, eh♪ ♪light it up, dynamite ♪shining through the city with a little funk and soul♪ ♪so i'ma light it up like dynamite♪ ♪'cause, ah-ah,♪ ♪shining through the city with a little funk and soul♪ ♪i'ma light it up like dynamite, whoa♪
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>> jimmy: welcome back. still to come, music from woodkid. you know our next guest from five seasons of "saturday night live," one "ghostbusters" movie, now she adds game show host to her resume with a reboot of "supermarket sweep." it premieres sunday night here on abc. please welcome leslie jones. [ cheers and applause ] hi, leslie. >> hey, hey, how you doing, jimmy? >> jimmy: how you doing? >> i'm good. >> jimmy: where are you right now? >> i'm in l.a. >> jimmy: you're in l.a. do you live here in l.a. now, or are you still in new york? >> no, i'm moving from new york to l.a. i'm coming back home, yes. >> jimmy: you are moving from new york. but you've been here, i assume, throughout the pandemic? or not? >> no, not throughout the pandemic. i just came out to shoot "supermarket sweep" i think at the end of august, something like that. >> jimmy: i see, i see. and what have you been doing? how have you been keeping busy? >> you mean during the pandemic? >> jimmy: yeah. >> i mean -- doing what i always do. watch tv. [ laughter ]
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and tweet out what i'm watching. >> i see. >> i mean, pandemic wasn't really a pandemic for me, you know. that's how i live my regular life, you know? >> jimmy: on a scale of 1 to 10, how safe are you being? >> oh -- so safe. ha ha! >> jimmy: so 8? >> you could say i had ppe before ppe was actually ppe, you know what i'm saying? so like i don't let people use my bathroom, none of that. >> jimmy: wait a minute, hold on a minute. so before all of this -- now i'm talking, you know, like a year ago. if someone came to your house, they were not allowed to use your bathroom? >> i got two bathrooms. if they use that bathroom, it is immediately cleaned. but most of the time i ask them to go to the lobby. >> jimmy: really? wow. >> i don't play like that, man. i don't play like that. just like i don't get in the swimming pool when other people
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are in the swimming pool. that's bootie water at that point. [ applause ] >> jimmy: so you'll only swim alone. >> i absolutely am staying at an airbnb, and no one is allowed in my pool. >> jimmy: wow. wow. that's crazy. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: do you go in? >> of course i do. >> jimmy: you do, okay. >> and it has to be heated so it can kill the germs. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: do you go out? do you do anything outside? are you like -- >> no, i don't. no. >> jimmy: wow, nothing. >> no, it's a pandemic, man, no. >> jimmy: okay. >> i don't go nowhere. i mean, i do go sometimes. sometimes i go somewhere. >> jimmy: okay. >> whenever i go, it's very limited. >> jimmy: in what way is it limited? >> meaning that i know where i'm going, i know that the people there are safe where i'm going to. >> jimmy: i see. >> the way that i get there is safe. the way i get back is safe.
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everything has to be planned out. i am a hypochondriac. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, so if you start to feel something, do you go online and start looking things up? >> nope, not online. i go to a doctor. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, you do. [ applause ] does your doctor laugh? does your doctor think you're crazy? >> my doctor really wants me to just stop. she's like, there's nothing wrong with you. we can't run any more tests. there are no more tests. >> jimmy: wow. that's kind of funny. and so -- i didn't know this about you. this is -- it surprises me a little bit, to be honest with you. >> i am super hypochondriac. oh, i text my writer all the time, i think i'm having a heart attack, which side is the heart on? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you have to say the pledge of allegiance to figure it out, right? >> yeah, but i still don't know which hand that is.
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>> jimmy: this is very interesting. this "supermarket sweep." apparently this has been -- is it really your lifelong dream to host "supermarket sweep"? >> you know, jimmy, by the time this story reaches the newspapers, you know those people, they write the most crazy -- a lifelong dream? really? i mean, not a -- not a lifelong dream. but i always wanted to have the show. lifelong? i'm 53 years old. so you mean 1977, i was like, "supermarket sweep!" come on. >> jimmy: all right. >> let's have some common sense, man, common sense. >> jimmy: so you used to watch the show with regularity, true? >> yes. yes. that is true. i used to watch it on the pax channel right after "ghost whisperer." very inspirational, very inspirational. >> jimmy: was it in reruns then, or were those new versions?
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>> you know, i'm not -- those were new ones. because they asked for contestants. because i went and applied. they were new. >> jimmy: it would be hard to watch old episodes of "supermarket sweep" because everything costs less. >> right. >> jimmy: you really wouldn't be able to play along at all. now you've got this show. explain for those who have never seen "supermarket sweep" what the basic concept of the show is. >> well, the concept is to build up time, and then to go out in a sweep to get as much stuff in your cart to equal up to the highest cart total to win $100,000. but back when i used to watch it, it was $5,000. but i made them bring that up. >> jimmy: yeah. >> give them $100,000! >> jimmy: yeah, $100,000 is definitely better than $5,000. i will tell you, when you say the time, so the more time you build up, the more time you have, then you're the winner. i used to fantasize, i remember an old episode of "dennis the
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menace." remember you'd be the millionth customer, you'd go into the supermarket, and they'd say, okay, you've got 90 seconds, you can put anything you want into that cart. to me this was like the greatest prize imaginable. >> jimmy, i don't know what grocery store you used to go to when you was little, but i have never in my lifetime ever seen anybody get a chance to get free groceries. >> jimmy: no, i've not seen it -- >> just saying it's a white grocery store, dude. [ laughter ] that's not going to happen in a black grocery store. you're not going to tell a black person they have 90 seconds to shop the grocery store for free. >> jimmy: this was on television, it's not from real life. it's something i saw on tv. >> jimmy. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, leslie. >> your privilege is showing. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: which contestants do you like better on the show in the dumb ones or the smart ones? >> oh my goodness, none of my contestants are dumb.
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>> jimmy: oh. [ laughter ] >> no, i love all of the contestants because they're all fun. being a comedian, it's like doing crowd work, and they're all so fun. they're all bat crazy. because they're there to get to play a game. it's just -- all of them are fun. >> jimmy: yeah. >> there's no un-fun ones. >> jimmy: okay, all right, okay. i like the dumb ones. [ laughter ] >> okay. see, that's because you're evil, jimmy, you're evil. >> jimmy: leslie, i'm going to send you -- i want you to see what this shopping spree is. maybe this could be another show for you to host. >> okay. >> jimmy: in the meantime, watch sunday night, 8:00 here on abc, the return of "supermarket sweep" hosted by leslie jones. thank you, leslie. [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with woodkid! >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing.
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but i can't say i expected this. because it was easy. to fight these fires, we need funding - plain and simple. for this crisis, and for the next one. prop 15 closes tax loopholes so rich corporations pay their fair share of taxes. so firefighters like me, have what we need to do the job, and to do it right. the big corporations want to keep their tax loopholes. it's what they do. well, i do what i do. if you'ld like to help, join me and vote yes on prop 15.
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>> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. >> i want to thank john cusack and leslie jones. apologies to matt damon. "nightline" is next.
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first, this is his album, it's called "s16." here with the song "horizons into battlegrounds," woodkid! ♪ ♪ ♪ let the silence ease the wildness your embrace clears the storm in my head ♪ ♪ why do i love you more when i'm wasted i only welcome care when i'm wounded ♪ ♪ you are a promise of brightness
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the triumph of life over self-hate ♪ ♪ but i take all you give for granted what really matters i keep breaking ♪ ♪ i'm turning horizons into battlegrounds i cannot walk ahead without your guidance ♪ ♪ can i hold on can i hold on to you can i hold on can i hold on to you ♪ ♪
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♪ can reliance ease the madness when every voice says i'm worthless ♪ ♪ i thought i would find the force from fighting but if i win alone i'm losing ♪ ♪ i'm turning horizons into battlegrounds i cannot walk ahead without your guidance ♪ ♪ i'm turning horizons into battlegrounds
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and every step i take without a sound ♪ ♪ can i hold on can i hold on to you can i hold on can i hold on to you ♪ ♪ can i hold on can i hold on to you can i hold on can i hold on to you ♪
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right now at this defining moment in america, there's so much on the line. from abc news, "my america, your america, our america." this is "turning point." tonight, the price of discrimination. >> homes in black neighborhoods are devalued by 23%. >> one family's fight for a fair home appraisal. >> why did i let myself forget that i live in america as a black person, and that i need to take some extra steps to get a fair result? >> what they did to get it. >> we both put away pictures. and it's like, these are people i love, and i need to hide them. >> i'm ashamed of it, i'll be honest. >> and a look back at a ground-breaking investigation with diane sawyer. >> how many black people in this


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