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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  October 28, 2020 11:35pm-12:37am PDT

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for larry biel, sandhya patel, all of us this is an abc color presentation. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live." tonight, david letterman. gillian jacobs. and music from gracie ache rbra. and now, jimmy kimmel. >> jimmy: hi, everyone. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thanks for being with us. we're experiencing something rarely felt here in southern california lately. i think they call it happiness? do you remember that? [ laughter ] last night the dodgers beat the tampa bay rays. [ cheers and applause ] to win a first world series title in 32 years. and i got to say, besides seeing the dodgers win, it was exciting to see people touching each other again. it really was.
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you know, they held the world series at a neutral site in texas to protect the teams from covid-19. and it almost worked. dodgers third baseman, justin turner, was mysteriously pulled from the game after the seventh inning because his covid test results came back positive. why they didn't find out until the game was almost over i have no idea. major league baseball might want to invest in some slightly more rapid tests for the players. turner took all the necessary precautions, he left the field for 20 minutes, then came right back out on the field. [ laughter ] here he is after the game. good news is he was wearing the masks, one of those n-95 -- no, wait, no, i guess he wasn't. he had the mask on his ears. at least he wasn't holding the trophy that everyone touched -- oh, he was. actually, the important thing is he wasn't hugging any of the guys -- oh, he was. so he did do some hugging, but he didn't kiss anyone on the mouth -- oh, wait a minute. except for his wife. who is now definitely positive too. well, you know what?
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there's no "i" in team, but there's an "i" in ventilator. hopefully it was a false positive and he'll be fine. after the game, dodgers fans one-upped him. they took to the streets. it's funny, because for whatever reason, some people don't seem to understand that celebrating does not protect you from the virus. >> immediately after that last out, covid-19 took a back seat to the joy of being a winner. >> jimmy: it did? [ laughter ] yeah, covid's in the back seat making owl with your girlfriend, that's what a winner you are. finally, how many of my neighbors have fireworks? the answer is, all of them. [ laughter ] where they're getting them, i don't know, i haven't seen a fireworks stand since july. are they selling bottle rockets on etsy? it's confusing to me. there were hundreds of thousands of fireworks last night. every home in los angeles was firing, which is insane, because there are still wildfires forcing people to evacuate their
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homes. but that didn't stop the fans from rebooting "the fast and the furious tokyo drift." did this guy -- not only doing doughnuts, doing doughnuts on top of fireworks, which of course caught his car on fire. don't worry, he survived, and he'll probably have a lot of children. but there was vandalism, looting, dumpster fires. basically a trump administration broke out in the streets of los angeles. [ cheers and applause ] congratulations to the dodgers. you almost killed us, but you won. the other celebration getting attention is kim kardashian's tropical birthday bash. you may have seen on instagram, for her 40th birthday, kim kardashian rented an island and brought everyone she knows to it. this is the post that got everyone crazy. after two weeks of multiple health screens and asking everyone to quarantine, i surprised -- already not a surprise -- i surprised my closest inner circle with a trip
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to a private island where we could pretend things were thunderstorm for a brief moment in time. before you call her tone deaf, she followed that with, we danced, rode bikes, swam near whales, kayaked, watched a movie on the beach, so much more. i realize that for most people this is something that is so far out of reach right now, so in moments like these i'm humbling reminded of how privileged my life is. she's humbly reminded. this is a humble reminder. for those who spent your birthday this year eating a ding dong alone in your apartment? [ laughter ] kim kardashian is humbly reminded. [ applause ] i wonder if anyone told her she's allowed to have a party and not post pictures of it. the backlash has been fierce. people really went nuts on this one. they're saying this could potentially derail kanye's presidential campaign. [ laughter ] which would be a shame. the election is five days away. guillermo did you vote last night like you said you were going to? >> guillermo: uh -- >> jimmy: no, you did not.
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we're going to the box after the show tonight. >> guillermo: after the show, i promise. >> jimmy: because of the problems with the postal service, namely, someone uprooting all the maim boxes, it's much safer, they say, to drop your ballot off at an official collection box to mic sure it gets there in time. this is proof. this is something i got delivered to my house yesterday, a christmas card. i mailed this in december of last year. i guess it didn't have the apartment number on it, so they returned to sender. i just got it, almost 11 months later. locally, too. if you can avoid it, don't mail your ballot. find a drop box, put it in there. one of the reasons people are so confused about whether or not to trust the postal service is because there's a guy out there giving us mixed messages on it. >> the post office has been a mess for many, many generations. but for certainly decades. well, there's no trouble with the postal service. postal service is going to do a good job. the post office has been a disaster for many, many decades. yeah the post office is running as well as it has in a long
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time. the post office is a catastrophe. the postal service, they do a great job. the postal service is a joke. the post office is running very well. the post office is stupid. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: can't even agree with himself anymore. last night trump was in nebraska. he had a big rally there. after the rally, hundreds of his supporters were stranded for hours in the freeding cold, waiting for a bus to take them back to their cars. trump left in air force one at 9:00. many in attendance had to wait until almost midnight to get a ride back to their cars, and it was 27 degrees. it was a real mess. but that's the genius of donald trump. he's able to assemble a large, maskless crowd during a pandemic, and while everybody's focused on whether or not they'll get the virus, some how he finds a way to send them to the hospital for a completely different reason. [ laughter ] the president was abrahaming it up in omaha. he taught a history lesson on what it means to vote republican. >> a vote for republicans is a
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vote for the american dream. it's a vote for acknowledgement that abraham lincoln was a republican. is that nice? people don't know that, a lot of people don't know that. >> jimmy: people don't know that. whenever he says people don't know that, it means he didn't know that. [ applause ] trump had a rally in bull head city, arizona, where he compared himself to another beloved u.s. president. >> we love trump, we love trump! >> thank you, thank you. nobody's ever heard "we all liked ronald reagan." nobody said, we love you, we love you, we love you. he wouldn't get crowds like this. if ronald reagan, who i consider being top notch, if he came here, he'd have a couple hundred people, legitimately. >> jimmy: what planet is this lunatic from? who feels the need to compete with ronald reagan? ronald reagan couldn't draw 200 people in bull head city?
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ronald mcdonald could draw 200 people in bull head city. there's nothing to do in bull head city, i've been there. [ applause ] this is interesting, members of trump's own coronavirus task force are said to be personally offended by a release from the white house yesterday that claimed among other things that the president ended the pandemic. the white house office of science and technology policy put out a list of trump's achievements thus far. if you look closely you'll see highlights include, ending the covid-19 pandemic. which, that's good news, you'd think that would be -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: won't see that on msdnc. also we got to hear some rare audio of trump's number one talking boy, adviser-in-law jared kushner, who was recorded by bob woodward, the writer who was writing a book about the president, and jared was boasting about how trump took control of the country back from the doctors. that's right. he said trump's now back in charge. it's not the doctors. which sounds like what your kidnapper tells you when you wake up in a bathtub full of ice
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and your liver is missing. imagine them saying something like that out loud. he's taken it back -- attention, passengers, unbuckle your safety belts, captain trump is in charge, we're going to be landing the plane on a rock very soon. jared also told bob woodward there would be a panic phase and a pain phase, which is exactly what he said to ivanka when he proposed to her. [ laughter ] does talking to bob woodward work out well for anybody? maybe it's time to rethink, take your son-in-law in workday. this election is driving us crazy. it's especially hard to talk politics with family and friends who don't share your views. it's become a very, very difficult thing. so in an effort to release some of the pressure, we gave some people on the street a chance to put on a mask and anonymously address those individuals in their lives with whom they disagree. >> do you have anyone in your life who's been driving you
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crazy this election? >> yeah. >> great, now with that mask on so they won't know it's you, give them a piece of your mind and let them know how you feel. >> i'm so [ bleep ] sick and tired of listening to the [ bleep ] my sister keeps saying, this orange stain being the best thing to happen in this country, when we all know he's the worst thing. as i watched this beautiful nation of ours go down to the tubes, one bad policy after another, one piece of [ bleep ] coming into office aft sister t tell us what a great guy he is, you're a piece of [ bleep ], you little [ bleep ], [ bleep ]. they can all go [ bleep ] themselves, right? yes. >> jimmy: i'm not sure, do we need any more than that? i don't know. [ cheers and applause ] just for the hell of it. go on. >> i would like to say to you, dad, you are a [ bleep ] just like the man i hold the mask of. just want to remind everybody to get out and vote and make a difference. >> i need you to listen. you're supposed to be a
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christian. yeah, you need some prayer. because you all out of balance, okay? >> david, how can you [ bleep ] vote for a pig like that? he is not representative of the american people, he divides our country, he's an [ bleep ]. and vote the [ bleep ], [ bleep ] out. >> all right, pearl, thank you, you're great. >> oh, you know, i really wish i wouldn't have done it. >> no, david's never going to know it's you. [ applause ] >> jimmy: all right, well, thanks, folks. oh, we have a good show tonight. gillian jacobs is with us. we have music from gracie abrahams. and we'll be right back with david letterman, so stay with us! it's either the assurance of a 165-point certification process.
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>> jimmy: welcome back to the show. tonight, gillian jacobs is with us. she's very talented. later her ep, she's very talented too, it's called "minor." gracie abrams will be with us. tomorrow night, chris evans, music from perfume genius. from the los angeles dodgers, cody bellinger and clayton kershaw will join. i guess together, i don't know. i wonder if they got tested after justin turner. >> guillermo: i think they did. >> jimmy: why am i asking you as if you know? >> guillermo: i know about sports. >> jimmy: all right. there's nothing like makes our first guest tonight less comfortable than a compliment. so let's just say he's the best and leave it at that. season 3 of his fourth talk show
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called "my next guest needs no introduction" is on netflix now. please welcome david letterman! [ oh-oh.. oh, wow. >> hi, jimmy! >> jimmy: i like that, an entrance. >> yeah, i thought of that myself. >> jimmy: we don't see entrances anymore. >> i know. i got to tell you, i'm very excited to be here. it's thrilling. and thank you very much for having me on. it's great. i really appreciate it. [ laughter ] no, i do. >> jimmy: hey. i -- i want to point out that you're actually not here. but we wish you were here. do you think you would have been okay with doing the show like this very video chat? >> no. >> jimmy: no, no, it's no fun at all. >> no. i don't. i have trouble doing it traditionally.
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[ laughter ] i don't know what this would have been, and i admire you and everybody who has adopted and made this method of communication viable. congratulations. >> jimmy: well -- >> you look great, by the way. >> jimmy: thank you, i appreciate it. you look great too. i think people have become not just accustomed to the beard, i think people have embraced the beard. would you agree with that? >> well, i was being embarrassed a lot more before the pandemic. [ laughter ] you're talking about the dodgers. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and congratulations. when i lived in los angeles, it was the dodgers in the '70s playing the yankees in the world series. >> jimmy: yep. >> you know the date of that? >> jimmy: '77 high '78, two years. '77-'78, yes. >> tommy lasorda went to the ball game, met tommy lasorda. he wanted us to come to the clubhouse after the game. i felt very uncomfortable with that.
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because tommy would always be there either naked or in his underpants. [ laughter ] i just thought -- i -- that's plenty, thanks, tommy. i can show myself out. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: well, you see, that's one of the spoils of show business. you get to see tommy in his underpants. >> yes. >> jimmy: so did you watch the game last night or did not watch the game? >> you know, i'm sorry, i forgot it was world series time. >> jimmy: no, it's okay. it's not required. >> it's the tampa bay rays. >> jimmy: yeah. >> then there was some controversy about a player who was supposed to be quarantined who decided he wasn't going to be quarantined. and there is no "i" in team b"i. >> jimmy: that's right. [ laughter ] there is an "i" in ventilator. thanks for picking me up. the biggest stretch of the monologue. [ laughter ] >> that was good. i mentioned how excited i am to
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be back in show business? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we're all excited. i want to talk about -- i've seen all the episodes of your show. i want to talk about that in a bit. i'm also curious, because you've gone some episodes, i'm sure there's some work you put into those, no doubt. but you don't have the schedule you used to have. i wonder like how you're -- how you spend your regular day. because i have a theory. and that theory is that when you've got a person that was very busy, then all of a sudden that person's not that busy, that person becomes a dangerous person. >> i don't know how to substantiate this, but i believe this could be accurate. >> jimmy: okay, sure. >> it's certainly been accurate in my case. i have two responses for this, if i have time for two, your honor. have laugh. >> jimmy: yes, yes. >> first is, i don't know if you get this, but between 6:00 and 7:00 at my house, i get a lot of phone calls on the line that
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never rings except between 6:00 and 7:00. and it's always a very nice man or very nice woman wanting to send me on a cruise or wanting me to stay at a hotel somewhere. and i can't get enough of that. because, you know, usually that could be the only phone calls of the week that i get. [ laughter ] they wonder who they're talking to, i say, my name is larry. okay, larry, would you be available? i need your credit card number. it's delightful, like being in a play. [ laughter ] then you just try to keep them engaged as long as possible, because you know there's a goon monitoring these phone calls and will just unplug them if it's not going well. it usually comes -- two call killers. one, when they say, now this offer is good for two years for the cruise. and i say, oh -- i'm sorry, i
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can't be gone two years on a cruise. [ laughter ] click, they're done. the other one is, okay, we're going to need your credit card number. now between you and me, i have no idea how many numbers are in a credit card number, so i just start out with 6, 9, 7, 2, 5. then i hear in the background, "that's not enough numbers." okay, 4, 3 -- click, and i'm done. but sometimes, you know, i can sit down and have dinner while i'm chatting. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i like that. that could be a show. you could sell that to netflix, no question about it. >> well, i want to tell you something. these netflix people have been so nice to me for reasons i don't understand. but they're -- you know. well, you know them. i saw you at a thing once sdl yeah, i came to see you interview zach galifianakis.
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i will tell you, i said, dave's not going to be able to see me, does he know that i'm coming? they said, no, no, don't worry, you will not be a distraction in any way. then about a month later somebody told me, dave was what the hell is jimmy kimmel doing in the front row? and i apologize for that. i didn't know. i was told specifically that you didn't know i was coming. >> listen, listen to me, jimmy. if you live to be 1,000, you will never need to apologize to me for anything. >> jimmy: okay, thank you. [ applause ] that's very kind, i appreciate that. dave, i wanted to mention, if you don't mind. regis philbin, who's your friend, who's on your show many, many times, he passed away in july. when you spoke about him, you gave i think probably the highest compliment you could pay a performer, is to compare that person to johnny carson, to say regis is up there with johnny carson. and you also said that regis was the best guest you ever had.
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>> yes. now tell me, you share my love for regis. >> jimmy: yes, very much so. yes, regis -- >> and the many things to love about regis, not the least of which was, i kind of believe he is, was, the last connection to a show business that i grew up watching back in indiana. and don rickles and regis philbin and a handful of other -- johnny carson, of course, and others. when regis left us, to me, it seemed like, okay, that chapter is closed. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and that made me very sad. but i'm telling you, this guy, if somebody said, let's pick somebody to drive across country with, if it couldn't be regis, then i would hitchhike. because he just -- he was always regis. isn't that what your experience was? >> jimmy: always. he always referred to himself as regis. i imagine that he woke up in the
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middle of the night saying, regis needs to go to the bathroom! regis was just exactly like he was on television at all times. which is really remarkable. >> yeah. >> jimmy: it's very unusual. >> yes. it really is remarkable. and toward the end of his life, i know often he did need to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. [ laughter ] but that's a whole different show. >> jimmy: dave, so we -- i wanted to ask you specifically about one thing. because regis -- did he ever say no to anything you asked of him? >> no. >> jimmy: no. >> he never said no. and he often would do things that we didn't want him to do. he showed up once dressed as shrek. and i don't -- while i'm not sure he knew why, but there he was in his shrek outfit. [ laughter ] but i was unimpressed. [ laughter ] i mean, there are guys in show business who need the costume to stay in business. regis was not one of them. >> jimmy: he wasn't at all.
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there were also some times it seemed that he would do -- you would ask him to do things that he did not necessarily want. >> he would do anything. he would come and be on the show. and you could call him later and say, regis, your makeup was lousy, can you come back, we're going to do the whole show over. and he'd put on his suit and he would come back. tremendous individual. and i believe -- i know for a fact, a great heart. and the night before his last show, he did the show with kelly lee -- kelly. >> jimmy: ripa, yes. right. >> who's now working with ryan seacrest, is that correct? >> jimmy: that is correct, yes. >> yeah. and you watch that show, do you? >> jimmy: from time to time i do, yes, yes. >> what are the circumstances that cause you to watch? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i'm just wondering. because i know you're up late. >> jimmy: breakfast. >> all right. >> jimmy: i'm not getting the
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calls you are, yeah. >> so it's the night before regis is going to retire. so he's leaving his show. and he has accumulated the record for several thousand hours of television. like 20,030 hours of television. the segment producer for the show i think was ryan teta. he said, you know what we should do, this will be a joke about how old and feeble regis is. well, as you know, even today, dead all these monthsd >> jimmy: no, yeah. >> they thought it would be funny to give him then one of those rascal scooters, you know? >> jimmy: yeah. >> there it is. >> jimmy: yeah. >> wait a minute. >> jimmy: that's a late model. >> so i said, no, no, let's don't give regis a rascal scooter, let's give him an actual scooter like a vespa. everybody knows how to ride a motor scooter.
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so that's what we decided to do. and regis, we're so excited. we're sorry you're retiring, but to commemorate the evening and your last show tomorrow, we're giving you this beautiful, brand-new vespa scooter. >> jimmy: i believe we do have the clip, yes. here's regis on a scooter. >> yeah, okay. >> are you ready, my friend? >> i'm on it, ready to go first time. >> for the love of god, be careful. thank you, godspeed. regis philbin, there he goes. >> i made it! i'm fine! >> yeah. he could have been killed. he actually could have been killed. the last night before he retires. he comes over, and i kill him. [ laughter ] you know, nobody checked him out on it. because the assumption was, "a," anybody can ride a scooter. and "b," certainly regis will
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ride a scooter. and then this was the aftermath of that. i think you have that there. >> jimmy: we do. >> i have it here, okay. >> is there room for you there, regis? >> good-bye, everybody. >> okay, all right. are your feet there? >> where are they? right there, okay. >> ready? >> oh my gosh. >> okay. >> good night, everybody! >> hey, get your hand off my ass. [ laughter ] >> there he goes. >> jimmy: david letterman. we're going to take a break. we'll be right back with david letterman! >> love you, regis. >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by geiculd save even more by bundling home and car insurance. no. in the basement. why can't we just get in the running car? are you crazy? let's hide behind the chainsaws. smart. yeah. ok. if you're in a horror movie, you make poor decisions.
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♪ hm hm hm i'm hot hm hm i'm ugly hm hm i sweat hm hm i'm old hm hm ♪ >> wait, hold on, hold on. this song, it's almost good but it's -- to make it a lizzo song you got to be positive. you can't say i'm ugly. >> jimmy: that is david letterman learning from lizzo on his show. my next guest needs no introduction. i really enjoy -- boy, i love watching you on this show. i really do. >> she's fantastic. i had no idea, jimmy, that it was that creepy. wow, was that creepy. [ laughter ] she's delightful. >> jimmy: it makes more sense in context. why did you decide to interview
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lizzo? were you familiar with her music? >> she had been on the show. >> jimmy: right. >> and i got to know her a little bit in doing research. and people who know more about the world than do i were saying that this is somebody i think would be great. and my god was she great. and is great. and i loved her. and she -- this was -- when, you know, when the pandemic started and we all had to be tested, but she was nice enough to let us come into her home. and it was the kind of thing -- you know what it's like when a television crew comes into your house. you just -- you start the clock, you can't wait for them to leave. >> jimmy: right. >> stuff gets broken. children go missing. [ laughter ] but, you know, she was great. and i didn't want to leave. you must know her. you probably know her pretty
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well, don't you? >> jimmy: no, i don't know her, but she's been on the show twice, i think. we, you know -- my wife and kids listen to her music a lot. and, you know, i -- i mean, i don't do a whole lot of dancing but i will enjoy it as they're playing it. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: and i like -- i was impressed by your hand flute playing during that episode. which is sometot seenom don't y right now? [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: i'll text you a video. i'll send you my finstagram and you can catch me dancing. you also interviewed, who do you have, kim kardashian is on the show -- >> tommy lasorda. >> jimmy: seems like an odd choice for you to spend an hour with kim kardashian, but it was absolutely fascinating. i mean, the things -- the subjects you covered with her hadn't really -- no one had ever gone into them that deeply, think. >> well, i don't know about that. again, i got to know her when we
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talked to her husband. and she's -- the thing that i noticed about this show, which should come as no surprise to me or anyone else, everybody, everybody on that list of all of the people that we've interviewed, they're all smarter and more dynamic than i am. >> jimmy: no, no. >> which is great because you're able to learn something from talking to smart -- i mean, that won't happen here tonight. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> you know what i mean? >> jimmy: i know. >> i found her to be quite dynamic. very fond of her. >> jimmy: the conversation you had with chappelle is just riveting. it is great to watch. robert downey jr., that was so much fun. and you walking through cvs with kim kardashian. it is -- i mean, it doesn't sound like much of a description, but it was a lot of fun to watch. especially when we got a chance to see your cell phone, which
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is -- your cell phone case in particular. [ laughter ] did you really make that yourself? >> no. you can -- a special item you can order from apple. [ laughter ] no, i made it. oh, it's here. this is what you're talking about. >> jimmy: yeah, we just -- it's changed colors. >> yeah, i change it seasonally. [ laughter ] if you want, if you want to have one of your assistants drop yours in a pouch and overnight it, i can get it back to you by the weekend. [ laughter ] what colors do you like, jimmy? >> jimmy: surprise me, surprise me. >> all right, let's go! >> jimmy: is that duct tape? or have you carved up a pool >> there's a sentence never uttered before in the history of
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mankind, carved up a pool noodle. [ laughter ] yeah, that's what i did. >> jimmy: sometime is you have share them. dave, it means a lot to me that you were with us tonight. i really appreciate your time. i love watching the show. i love seeing you on television. >> thank you. >> jimmy: season 3 of "my next guest needs no introduction" is on netflix now. watch all of it. david letterman, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] thanks, dave. >> thank you very much, jimmy, i love you, good-bye. >> jimmy: bye. we'll be back with gillian jacobs.
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>> dicky: next week on "jimmy kimmel live" -- john lithgow, charlie hunnam, freddie highmore, and david duchovny. plus music from giveon, jon pardi, and why don't we. be sure to tune in tomorrow for chris evans, music from perfume genius and from the world series champion l.a. dodgers, clayton kershaw and cody bellinger! are too serious to be ignored. some things if you still have symptoms of crohn's disease or ulcerative colitis even after trying other medications, it may be a sign of damaging inflammation, which left untreated, could get much worse. please make an appointment to see your gastroenterologist right away. or connect with them online. once you do, seeing the doctor need help finding a doctor? head to
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asof being stretched too thinar to do my job right. and it's not just health care workers. our teachers and school staff are going the extra mile for our kids. our firefighters are taking on unthinkable missions to keep us safe. how can we keep giving billions in tax breaks to rich corporations when our communities need that money? prop 15 closes corporate loopholes and invests in our schools, health care, and public safety. help us do our jobs.
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vote yes on 15. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: welcome back. music from gracie abrams is on the way. you know our next guest from "girls," "community," and "love" which sounds kind of nice all put together. her scary new movie is called "come play." it opens in theaters friday. please welcome gillian jacobs. hi, gillian. >> hi, jimmy. >> jimmy: how are you? >> i'm so happy to be with you virtually. >> jimmy: i know, it's almost like being -- in a way better than being with me physically, trust me on that one. [ laughter ] what's going on with you?
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oh, last time -- you have earrings, i see, hoop earrings. i mention that, because last time you were physically here in our studio, you got your ears pierced for the first time in your life. >> that's right, i did, right on that very stage where you are now. >> jimmy: yeah, you did. and remind me again of why you got your ears pierced here. >> valid question, jimmy. i thought to myself, unless i commit to doing this live on jimmy kimmel, i will never get my ears pierced. so i floated it to producers, you were kind enough to indulge me, and i got my ears pierced on national television. >> jimmy: i think we have a clip from that really historic tv moment. >> my heart is racing right now. >> jimmy: is it really? >> oh my god, i am so scared, oh my god. all right. oh -- oh -- oh -- oh -- okay -- ow! okay, yes! [ applause ] >> jimmy: are there any other fears you were like to confront? i don't know, maybe we can get you a tattoo of a dandelion or
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something like that? think about it. >> yeah, i saw that clip of regis fill lin on the scooter. i too have never ridden a scooter, so you could certainly give me a motorcycle lesson live on air, whatever. >> jimmy: have you ever been a passenger on a scooter? >> absolutely not. my heart is once again racing. for you, jimmy, i will try it. >> jimmy: wow, you play it very safe, don't you? >> feet on the ground. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: would you say you are a fearful person? >> riddled with fear and anxiety, yes. [ laughter ] my father got me a ski lesson when i was a very little child, and he came back at the end of the hour and he asked the teacher, how did it go? and she said, well, she refused to move the entire hour because she said it was too dangerous. [ laughter ] i've always been very protective of my physical well-being. >> jimmy: that's good. yet you have some kind of ski-related picture on the wall behind you. is that to remind you to not do anything, i guess, huh? >> exactly. look how terrifying that looks.
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[ laughter ] >> jimmy: how's your mom doing? you talked about your mom the last time you were here. your mom is not the usual mom. >> she is not the usual mom. i go so hard on my mom on talk shows. and she's such a good sport. yes, my mother's actually here with me for a few months during the quarantine. and she managed to, through some aggressive gardening, knock down part of my neighbor's fence. >> jimmy: aggressive gardening, i like that. >> yes. that's how i like to term it. >> jimmy: was your neighbor unhappy about that? >> i could not ask for a more kind and understanding neighbor. but i have to tell you that it's really a panicked phone call to say, hi, how are you? we don't really know each other but i have knocked down part of your fence. i very quickly followed that up with, i will pay to have it repaired. yeah, not a phone call you want to make to a neighbor. >> jimmy: no, yeah, but the fact that you made it, i think, makes everything okay. >> sure. >> jimmy: so your mother was living with you?
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>> oh, yes, she was here for several months, yeah. by the end of it she actually wanted to leave, and i was telling her to stay. because i was afraid of her flying. but she was the person begging to leave. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all these things that you are scared of, you this scary movie. will you watch this movie? >> no, no, no. [ laughter ] i don't watch scary movies. my burden of that -- not like "friday the 13th" but my mom would take me to 30s with adult content that frightened me, like a movie about incest. i sat there, looked at her, why have you done this? all she said was, "the costumes were lovely." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: so you're scared of skiing. >> yes. >> jimmy: ears being pierced. >> yes. >> jimmy: probably blood of my kind. >> uh-huh. >> jimmy: scary movies. >> yes. >> jimmy: really everything. is there anything that you do that's dangerous that we
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would -- nothing, probably, huh? >> i think just existing. >> jimmy: existing is dangerous. >> yes. yeah. no, i have never really -- i mean, my dad also said in elementary school he was for some reason shadowing me in gym class. and the teacher had a series of boxes for us to jump hurdles. my dad said that i ran up to the first one, moved it to the side, ran to the second one, moved it to the side. so i like to find a way around any kind of obstacle. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you should be observed at all times. really. would you be willing to let us put a nest cam in your home? >> sure, yeah. >> jimmy: okay. >> you could set it up, an obstacle course for me, anything for you. nothing on my own, anything for television. >> jimmy: thank you for being with us. be careful, you've got an exposed outlet behind you. [ laughter ] it's righter in the plant, there could be a fire. please get some kind of a childproofing -- >> i almost s s s our house on
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fire when i was little too. >> jimmy: we'll talk about that one the next time. thank you, gillian. "come play" is your movie. she won't see it. it opens in theaters friday. we'll be back with gracie abrams! >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. it's following your passion to bto the very top... ...and setting the standard by which all who follow, will be measured. tequila herradura, the world's most gold medal awarded tequila.
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it's following your passion to bto the very top... ...and setting the standard by which all who follow,
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will be measured. tequila herradura, the world's most gold medal awarded tequila. >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. >> jimmy: thanks to david letterman and gillian jacobs. apologies to matt damon, we ran out of time for him. "nightline" is next. but first her ep is called "minor." here with the song, "friend," gracie abrams! ♪ pictures of the old us got me feelin' older i just thought ♪ ♪ you should know i never wanted closure but you had ♪ ♪ no problem leavin'
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now i'm the one to feel it i just can't believe ♪ ♪ you don't know what i'm feeling guess you got ♪ ♪ the best of this pickin' up the pieces you just wanna leave 'em ♪ ♪ killing me a little bit and i hate the way you love me ♪ ♪ and i hate that i still care funny how you feel ♪ ♪ like we would ever talk again how could you think ♪ ♪ i'd be your friend ♪ ♪ i'm sure you're doing fine but i don't wanna hear it ♪
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♪ and if i left my t-shirt you can keep it i don't wanna ♪ ♪ see you again if it's different 'cause i'll only see ♪ ♪ all the things that i'm missin' and i should've cut ♪ ♪ all the ties but i didn't i didn't let go mmm i just can't believe ♪ ♪ you don't know what i'm feeling guess you got ♪ ♪ the best of this guess you got the best of this ♪ ♪ pickin' up the pieces you just wanna leave 'em killing me a little bit ♪ ♪ killing me a little bit and i hate the way you love me ♪ ♪ and i hate that i still care i still care ♪ ♪ funny how you feel like we would ever talk again how could you think i'd be ♪ ♪ you had no problem leavin' now i'm the one to feel it
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i just can't believe ♪ ♪ you don't know what i'm feeling guess you got ♪ ♪ the best of this guess you got the best of this ♪ ♪ pickin' up the pieces you just wanna leave 'em killing me a little bit ♪ ♪ killing me a little bit and i hate the way you love me ♪ ♪ and i hate that i still care i still care ♪ ♪ so funny how you feel like we would ever talk again how could you think ♪ ♪ i'd be your friend
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\s this is "nightline." >> tonight, political battleground in a pivotal swing state crucial to the president. >> it's great to be with you and back at the villages. i like the villages. >> despite an in-person pitch to the florida faithful, why some reliably republican retirees are backing biden this time. >> we need somebody to bring this country back together. >> the senior citizen brigade. >> four more years! >> at the biggest retirement community in america. and how the virus is changing votes. >> "nightline" will be right back. want to brain better? unlike ordinary memory supplements- neuriva has clinically proven ingredients that fuel 5 indicators of brain performance. memory, focus, accuracy, learning, and concentration.


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