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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  January 3, 2022 11:35pm-12:37am PST

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larry beil, all of us, thank you for your time. have a good night. >> announcer: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- neil patrick harris, daniel ranieri and george clooney, plus music from ed sheeran and elton john. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: hi, everybody. thanks, fellows. hi, there. i'm jimmy. i'm the host. thank you for watching. thanks for coming. [ cheers and applause ] we have a whole room full of college football players and staff. the oregon state beavers are in the house. all the way from corvallis. [ cheers and applause ]
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and while "corvallis" may sound like erection medication, it is a city in oregon. [ laughter ] which is probably the only state that sells more marijuana than we do here in california. [ laughter ] the beavers are here in town to take on the aggies of utah state on saturday in the highly anticipated jimmy kimmel l.a. bowl. [ cheers and applause ] this is a bowl game named after me. i couldn't be happier. having a college bowl game named after me was the second to last thing on my bucket list. the only box i have left to check is ruining matt damon's credit score. [ laughter ] your opponents from utah state were here last night. [ booing ] we let some of the players introducing themselves, and of course we have to be fair, we want to extend that same courtesy to you guys. it's time to meet the team. here they are now, your 2021 oregon state beavers. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> andrzej hughes murray, linebacker. i can't sleep without a nightlight.
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[ laughter and applause ] >> simon sandberg, defensive line. my mom thinks i won the heisman trophy. [ laughter and applause ] >> alex austin, defensive back. i don't know what a "first down" is and it feels too late to ask. [ laughter and applause ] >> i'm jack colletto, i play everywhere. i'm engaged to pete davidson. [ laughter and applause ] >> jaydon grant, defensive back. i collect antique coin purses. [ laughter and applause ] >> brandon kipper, offensive line. i'm dating your mom and we're really happy together. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: wow. how about that. a real bombshell. well, mom always did want to date a football player. by the way, your mascot as oregon state is kind of a weird one.
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benny beaver. he seems aggressive for an animal that eats twigs. [ laughter ] that's the new benny. this is the old benny. he used to have a girlfriend. looks like their dad there. her name was bernice beaver, but she disappeared. what happened to her? there are a lot of unexplained killings up there in oregon. [ laughter ] anyway, benny this weekend is going to meet my mascot. we came up with a special mascot for the game. his name is jimmy kamel. hi, jimmy kamel. [ cheers and applause ] i'm going to tell you something. what makes jimmy kamel the best mascot in all of sports is, he throws up. he vomits, you know, for families. my plan was to have him march right to the middle of the field and throw up. in front of everyone. but the spoilsports over at sofi stadium said, "it's a hard no on the vomiting camel." that was a direct quote. first of all, i'm suing them. as soon as this game is over, i'm suing everybody. it's my bowl game. [ laughter ] you know how everyone has a throw-up bowl in their house when you get sick?
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a bowl you throw up in? this is my bowl you throw up in! [ cheers and applause ] not only that. we spent a pretty penny making this camel vomit-capable, and the fans want to see this. jimmy kamel, show them what you do. show them what you can do. [ moans ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] by god, doesn't america need a vomiting camel right now? that's maybe the eighth weirdest thing that happened on hollywood boulevard today. [ laughter ] hopefully we'll be able to work that into the halftime show. most colleges right now are about to go on winter break. and a lot of students might not come back. the omicron variant is forcing a lot of colleges to go back to online learning. and some of the schools that are only online are moving even more online. the university of phoenix now
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exists only in the metaverse. [ laughter ] speaking of online learning, pornhub, which is something you guys probably don't know about -- [ laughter ] not something you'd be interested in. pornhub released their annual report of the top pornographic searches in the country. they broke it down by state and the results are very interesting. in arkansas, for instance, the number one most searched porn word was "divorced." [ laughter ] which might be the saddest thing i've ever heard. north dakota's top search for the year was "quickie." [ laughter ] which makes sense. it's freezing up there. you don't want to be naked too long. louisiana won the least-imaginative award. [ laughter ] their top search was "naked women." seems like a good place to start. but come on. north carolina topped the charts with "penis pump." [ laughter ] indiana's top search is "dildo." which is amazing. mike pence hasn't been governor for five years, he's still the top search result. [ laughter and applause ] this is the state of wisconsin. they had a very specific "lesbian yoga." as if there were any kind of yoga, i don't know. [ laughter ] vermont's number one is
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tribbing. which not only do i have no idea what that is, i don't want to look it up, i'm worried i might run into ben & jerry eating ice cream on top of each other. [ laughter ] utah, your opponent on saturday, their top search is "mormon." even their porn is clean. [ laughter ] and oregon, your top search is festive, it's joi. joy to the world, right? we've got a great show tonight. we have christmas music from ed sheeran and elton john. [ cheers and applause ] from the new "matrix" movie, neil patrick harris is here. [ cheers and applause ] and also tonight, we have a young man named daniel ranieri who's from brooklyn, who we met just around this time last year when a video made the rounds during which daniel shared his thoughts on the covid lockdown. >> a lockdown when is you stay
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the [ bleep ] inside, not the [ bleep ] outside. stay the [ bleep ] inside. >> you plan on staying in the house until june? >> [ bleep ] lockdown, stay the [ bleep ] inside. not the [ bleep ] outside. what the [ bleep ]? do you hear the news? [ bleep ] lockdown, [ bleep ] inside, not [ bleep ] out to parties and the casino. >> jimmy: so now that kid is starring with ben affleck in the new george clooney movie, "the tender bar." who we will also chat with later. george clooney saw him on our show, gave him a big part in the movie. and he's great in the movie. and so he's going to be here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] speaking of great, it is now time for one of our favorite traditions of the year. every december, we go through all the best clips from the past 12 months. we whittle them down to the best of the best. each of the clips you're about
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to see is excellent in its own way. but only one can be crowned "clip of the year." and the nominees for "clip of the year" are -- number one, power 8-ball. >> i'm here with someone else who has gotten their ticket. james, you bought your ticket what are you going to do with that money if you win? >> definitely going to get a new supercharged mustang with dual exhaust and about five kilos of cocaine and i'll be good to go. >> okay, so you like cars, you like cars. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: "honk if you're zoomy." >> an ohio state senator making headlines for pretending he was in his office on a zoom call when he was actually driving. senator andrew brenner is seen wearing a seat belt and driving during a board meeting. brenner said he wasn't distracted and was paying attention to the road, not the video. this comes as the ohio house is considering a bill to crack down on distracted driving. [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: "a disturbance in the horse." >> fortunately almost everyone we spoke with got a head start on the insurance claims and got the ball rolling early last night. for now we're live in keller, nicole jacobs, back to you. >> thanks, nicole. [ applause ] >> jimmy: "my friends call me butt." >> good morning, sir, what's your name? >> me? >> yeah, you, yes. >> nathaniel saxon, sir. >> your name's not butt [ bleep ] 3000, you yoho, logging into my court with that as your screen name. what's your name again? >> nathaniel saxon, sir, but i don't believe that i typed anything like that. >> well, that's what it says. [ applause ] >> "t-b-d-e-a-d" >> i'll have a spot of tea
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because we have royal news coming up. >> oh, do tell. >> good morning, ladies. prince philip's official cause of death has been revealed. [ applause ] >> jimmy: "cornhole karen." >> not going to lie, i had to google corn hole because i have the game in the back of my yard. according to wikipedia, corn hole is a sexual slang, vulgarism, for anus. the term came into the use in the 1910s in the united states as verb form to cornhole, which came into usage in the 1930s, means to have anal sex. i do not want my children to learn about anal sex in middle school. i've never had anal sex, i don't want to have anal sex, i don't want my kids having anal sex. [ applause ] >> jimmy: and "gorillas gone wild." >> oh my god!
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[ applause ] >> jimmy: and the number one clip of the year for the year 2021 is -- oh my goodness. "cornhole karen!" [ cheers and applause ] unfortunately cornhole karen couldn't be with us tonight. she is busy getting thrown out of a trader joe's. [ laughter ] but here to accept on her behalf, please welcome the american cornhole league women's doubles world champions, samantha finley and rosie streaker! [ cheers and applause ] you'll accept this award on karen's behalf. ladies, thank you. welcome. >> thank you, jimmy. we're so excited to be accepting this award as the two-time world champions for cornhole with the american cornhole league.
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>> we are excited to be a part of the fastest-growing professional sport in america. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: beautiful, thank you so much. and to commemorate this very, very special and historic event, we made something very special, a cornhole board. [ applause ] ladies, would you like to take a shot? i'll hold that, there you go. at killing karen's mouth with beans. go ahead, our cornhole champions. whoa! whoa! whoa! well, close enough. congratulations on the "clip of the year." thank you, samantha and roseanne, and thanks to our ill-shapen researchers for their work finding clips of the year. we've got a great show tonight. from the new movie "the tender
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bar," actor daniel rainierry is here along with a special appearance by director george clooney. we'll have music from ed sheeran and elton john, so be right back, stick around! [ cheers and applause ] [ "best of my love" by black pumas ft. sofia reyes ] come in for workout gear, leave feeling empowered. come in for snack time, leave more fulfilled. because when you shop at target, you leave with what you value most. like healthy foods for your family and brands that lift our communities. at target, the things that matter are always within reach. what we value most, shouldn't cost more. [ music ends ] with clean, fresh ingredients, panera's new chicken sausage and pepperoni flatbread is a mouthwatering explosion of yes. craft? yes! heartiness? yes! living life to the flavor-fullest? heck yes. panera. live your yes.
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♪ ♪ >> jimmy: hi, there. welcome back. tonight, from the new movie "the tender bar," a foul-mouthed young man named daniel ranieri is with us, and his director george clooney will be making an appearance as well. [ cheers and applause ] then later, their new song "merry christmas" benefits both the suffolk music foundation and the aids healthcare foundation. music from ed sheeran and elton john. [ cheers and applause ] our first guest tonight is what they call a triple-threat. he can act, he can sing, and he
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has been performing surgery since he was a kid. his new movie with keanu reeves is the highly anticipated "the matrix resurrections." it opens wednesday in theaters and on hbo max. please welcome neil patrick harris. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: very good to see you. we have an audience of all college football players. >> i know, this is incredibly exciting. nice to see you all. [ cheers and applause ] i generally have an aversion to beavers. [ laughter ] this is like a super-different vibe. i'm into it. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, they'll bite you, you have to be careful. are you ready for christmas? >> i'm getting there.
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christmas happened so fast, doesn't it? wasn't it just black friday? i thought, well, i have a month, everything's fine. boom. now it's suddenly -- almost the holidays. >> jimmy: trouble with the supply chain? has that been an issue? i find no supply chain problems whatsoever. >> no? everything was good? >> jimmy: no. >> that's good. so i did this -- we do this thing in our family. instead of giving gifts to each individual friend and family member and stuff, which seems like a bandwidth suck of who do we do -- we get this, we have to get this person this, if they talk to each other, it has to be equal. why don't we do -- my husband and i and kids will do a christmas box. we give this christmas box to everyone. it will be stuff we make, less expensive, easier to accomplish, everybody will get this christmas box. i think you're on the list, actually. j.j. abrams used to do it with the bad robot. you'd get this cool box. oh, this is great.
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we've been doing that. we just finished the christmas box. let me tell you, biggest [ bleep ] time suck. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, that was a mistake? [ cheers and applause ] >> no, you thought it was going to be easier. boxes, 14 by 14, 12 by 12 box, where do we get them what do we package them in, do you use crinkle wrap? i'm not on etsy shop, i didn't >> jimmy: did you have to go on uline and order a box or something? >> 90 boxes. >> jimmy: 90 boxes, yeah. >> i'm spray painting the logo on the side of the box. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> we wanted to be cool, we want it to be good. we each have our own thing. i won't giving anything away. mine's cool. do you know glow forge? >> jimmy: no. >> it's a laser printer. >> jimmy: i like it already. >> a laser beam that cuts into any piece of wood, piece of leather, piece of acrylic, whatever.
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>> jimmy: you put it in the box? >> not the glow force. [ laughter ] that's gigantic. i made a diy thing because i've been using the glow force to make stuff. >> jimmy: can you give yourself a tattoo with the glow force? >> glow force. like "star wars." glow forge. >> jimmy: oh. >> you have to close the lid, you can't put your arm in there, you have to close the lid. >> jimmy: what if you're a tiny person, can you get in? >> yes, you can get laser eye surgery. [ applause ] >> jimmy: wow, that's amazing. >> our boxes are done. it was incredibly stressful. >> jimmy: by the way, you asked me a couple of weeks ago, you sent an email asking me to recommend a couple of gift items. >> i did. i have a newsletter called "wondercaid." everyone should subscribe. like a gentleman's version of gwyneth paltrow's goop. it's a gentleman's goop. except that sounds gross. [ laughter ] so it's less viscous. it's called "wondercaid."
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subscribe at it's a weekly newsletter of things i think are cool. interesting restaurants, vr headset games, immersive theater, whatever. we did a holiday gifting guide. i asked my famous friends to send in two items, recommendations. one, something under $50 that they would recommend as a gift. and one as a splurge. and you, i have to say, you were the very first person to respond. >> jimmy: i act fast, yeah. [ applause ] >> it was amazing. >> jimmy: i knew my answers right away. >> and you're one of my more famous friends. >> jimmy: oh, thank you. >> so i expected you to be later or not respond at all. >> jimmy: right, yeah. >> but you did. you suggested a pen as the smaller gift. >> jimmy: yep. >> a great idea. for your splurge, which i thought was kind of amazing, you said a jet pack. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, i want one of those, yeah. [ applause ] >> which really says a little bit about you as a person and your wealth. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i don't have a jet
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pack. >> amanda seyfried's splurge item was a bunny. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: a bunny is not a splurge item. bunnies are -- 5 bucks you can get a bunny. >> christina hendrix's splurge item was a cheese of the month club. [ laughter ] you wanted a jet pack. >> jimmy: well, yeah! i mean, the word "splurge" was in there, might as well splurge. >> my choice would have been theme park. >> jimmy: the pen is like $4, $4.50, so get either one would be fine. >> wondercaiden come. >> jimmy: i think that's helpful for people to have that list. people don't know what to get other people. you are a very good gift giver. with your kids, twins, a boy and a girl. >> true. >> jimmy: you know this. [ laughter ] how old are they now? >> just turned 11. >> jimmy: 11, okay. at our house there's a count going on right now. >> ah. >> jimmy: my kids don't know the difference between an ipad and two cushballs. it's like, why did she get two gifts?
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but you got an ipad. so do you have to match and make sure the twins get exactly -- >> oh, they're very competitive. >> jimmy: yeah, right. >> yeah, you have to count numbers of gifts on each side. but they're not just worried about how many gifts each one gets. they're worried about actual retail value. [ laughter ] equality. >> jimmy: that makes a little bit more sense. have they asked for anything in particular? did they give you a santa list? >> gideon's all about the gaming stuff. he's very into minecraft, dungeons and dragons. he wants a gaming computer, which is ironic because we're trying to limit his screen time. so i have no idea how that's going to play out. harper wants a phone. >> jimmy: oh. are you going to get her a phone? >> she's 11. she's not going to get a phone. >> jimmy: i know younger kids -- >> i say, you're 11, you're not going to get a phone. when do i get a phone? then i'm stuck, because i don't know. >> jimmy: when does she get a phone? >> i'm asking you. >> jimmy: i don't know, my kids are 7 and 4, my older kids, nobody had phones back then. >> right. so what? 14! i don't know.
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>> jimmy: i think 14 seems reasonable. although she's going to make your life miserable. >> for three years. >> jimmy: yes, for three years. >> i'll just give her a phone. no, coal! ha ha! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: give her coal that you can text from, she'd probably like that, right? >> a big piece of coal. >> jimmy: when we come back, neil patrick harris is part of the new "matrix" movie. "the matrix resurrections" when we return, be right back! take it easy, buddy. don't look at me like that... what's going on? these in-game purchases really add up, jake from state farm. - now go on, git! - wait! now, don't give up what you love. state farm has options like drive safe and save, so you get a rate that fits your budget. - really?! - yeah! you're comin' home with me! for surprisingly great rates that fit any budget... like a good neighbor, state farm is there. call or click to get a quote today. does sinus congestion and pressure make breathing feel impossible especially at night?
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what were you feeling at that point? >> what was i feeling? i felt either i'm having a mental breakdown again -- or i'm living inside a computer-generated reality that has imprisoned me again. >> not much of a choice. [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: neil patrick harris and keanu reeves in "matrix resurrections." i mean, i don't know what i can say, what's okay to say. i'm going to ask you, is this your first action movie? >> you can ask me anything you want. it is my -- i was in "starship troopers." [ cheers and applause ] which was more of a sci-fi movie. but yeah, this was the first of this scale. and i play his analyst, right? so i play thomas anderson's analyst, and my role within it is to make sure thomas anderson, when he's questioning what reality might be, when he's trying to get out of his normalcy, i'm his analyst to keep him calm, to keep him regulated, to keep him sane. so i didn't have a lot of bup bup bup bup bup bup, wire work, like the "matrix" -- >> jimmy: you would love that, right?
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>> wouldn't you? >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. >> that's the dream, to be in that capacity in the movie. but the movie's super amazing. keanu is an incredibly nice guy. i was a huge fan of the first movie. that really changed the game as far as cinema, in my mind action to have a sci-fi, action, kung fu movie that also talked about technology and the conceit, 20 years ago, that technology was more invasive and more involved in your life than you really were aware of. that sort of red pill/blue pill idea is very resonant now in 2021. >> jimmy: yeah, more so for sure, yeah. >> that's kind of amazing. i just think the movie's dope. [ laughter ] i'm so excited. i just want to give it some promotion because i know it's a small film. [ laughter ] without this kind of platform. i want people to come see it. >> jimmy: this is a movie you want to see at the theater, right? >> i can't recommend that enough, see it in a big theater. >> jimmy: right.
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>> where the sound is part of the story. because it sounds amazing. >> jimmy: you are -- elton john's on the show tonight. [ cheers and applause ] you're very friendly, you and your husband david. you guys go on vacations with elton and his husband david, right? the husband david club. >> we're in the husband david club, yes. my husband david burtka and his husband david furnish started a club. we have t-shirts. >> jimmy: how did you meet elton john? >> elton john was nominated for for "billy elliot," which he s,- wrote. and i think when i was younger and on "doogie howser" -- [ applause ] >> jimmy: someone in our audience has the dvd box set. >> you guys weren't even born when "doogie howser" was on. but i think elton thought i was cute when i was doogie. >> jimmy: oh, it was cute when you were doogie. >> during the tony awards i heard elton john wanted to say hello. he was waiting in the wings. and i said, elton john, are you serious? sure. i went to go say hello.
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he kissed me square on the lips. precovid. [ laughter ] and we've been fast friends ever since. >> jimmy: wow. >> he's awesome. [ applause ] he's awesome, man. >> jimmy: speaking of -- >> elton john is an anomaly. he had two number one songs, the dua lipa song and the ed sheeran song, one and two. >> jimmy: he's ridiculous. i think he's had the most number one songs in each generation from one to the other than anybody ever before. >> and still doing that. wonderful people. >> jimmy: one more question. you mentioned "doogie howser." how old were you when you shot that show? >> 16 to 19. >> jimmy: this kid daniel that we have coming in here. >> yeah, how about this daniel kid? >> jimmy: you know, he was not a trained actor in any way. he just cursed on the internet. [ laughter ] somehow wound up -- does that make you angry? >> it bothers me that he gets big jobs, yeah. [ laughter ] i had to audition and stuff when i was a whippersnapper.
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>> jimmy: right, you didn't shoot your mouth off and get a call from george clooney. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you actually went to things and worked. >> that [ bleep ]. [ cheers and applause ] neil patrick harris, "the matrix resurrections" opens in theaters and on hbo max december 22. we'll be back with yehya and a first look at the new spider-man! step up. prep up. to help keep you free from the risk of hiv. descovy for prep. a once-daily prescription medicine... ...that helps lower the chances of getting hiv through sex.
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there's this feeling we chase... like someone upped the brightness on the entire world. a full body endorphin rush we'll chase again and again. feel the hydrow high this holiday season. >> jimmy: daniel ranieri, george clooney, music from ed sheeran
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and elton john are coming up. but first, the big movie coming out this weekend is "spider-man: no way home." it's expected to make around $150 million at the box office. when we have a movie this big, we call upon our favorite movie critic. here's yehya talking about the new movie "spider-man: no way home." >> quiet, please! action! hi, it's me, yehya. i talk about the new movie "spider-man no way home." okay, spider-man, you know the comic books, he go on the floor and the spider-man in the city. >> i am so confused right now. >> that boy is spider-man is the english boy, his name tom "how-ho." his mom, archelle, in the movie "my cost via."
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also the william guy, green evil, also in the movie, "he do zhesus." the guy in the machine, like the transformer, his name arfid money. >> what's your actual name? >> he's also in the movie about the guy, he make sex with everyone, that's not me, also jamie foxx is in that movie. look like electric shot man. he do the movie, the blind guy who play the piano. spider-man's family, also his dad will play with the fire, i got picture of him, bentley -- bantris -- betzon -- penadick. the first spider-man, tobey
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maguire. very famous part, tony mcguire, his girlfriend, because she kiss him up and down, i love you, sweetheart, mwah mwah. is good movie, go watch the movie. in theater now! i'm a spider-man. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, you did it again, yehya. we'll be back with daniel ranieri and george clooney! lots of windows, great light-. but the birds. they're back. yes, i hear them. uh-oh. why are these birds so angry?! at least geico makes bundling our home and car insurance easy. we save a lot. i'm going...i'm going. aaaahh! hurry, hurry! i know, i know! for bundling made easy, go to
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>> jimmy: hi, there. music from ed sheeran and elton john is on the way. our next guest is a fifth grader from brooklyn with a fondness for four-letter words. george clooney saw him on our show and gave him a big part in his new movie with ben affleck. "the tender bar" opens in select theaters tomorrow and premieres on amazon prime video january 7th. please welcome daniel ranieri. [ cheers and applause ] hey, daniel. >> hi, what's up? >> jimmy: good to see you. >> good to see you too. >> jimmy: daniel, i just told them a little bit about the story. you know, this was like one year ago, pretty much exactly, that
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we reached out to you. >> yeah. >> jimmy: we couldn't find you. we knew you were in brooklyn, we knew your name was daniel. somehow we figured out your mom's name was danielle. do you know how many people we called? >> i'm pretty sure it was 180 danielle r.s in brooklyn. >> jimmy: sure enough, we called them all. laura, one of our producers, insane person, found you. [ laughter ] you were on our show. and the next -- actually, that night i get an email from george clooney saying, hey, can you give me that kid's information? i might want to put him in a movie. then he put you in the movie, you're in "the tender bar" with ben affleck. [ cheers and applause ] not just in the movie briefly, and not a minor character. you are really the main character in the movie, right? >> yeah. yeah. >> jimmy: unbelievable. was it fun for you? >> of course, it was so fun filming with george and ben. george as a director was just -- he was so great.
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>> jimmy: is he the best director you've ever worked with? >> it's my first movie. >> jimmy: okay, all right, so yes, then. how much did george pay you to be in this movie? >> a million dollars. no, i'm joking. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you know, daniel, i do have a bone to pick with you. because once you got the part, you were on the set. and i had -- i'd asked your mom, i said i wanted to get you a gift to thank you for doing the show. and your mom said, well, he wants a ps 5. a playstation 5. and so they happened to be sold out, so i was trying to get you a ps5. not only was that sold out, but you sold me out from the set, take a look at this video. >> danny, you finally got your playstation? >> yeah, but jimmy kimmel [ bleep ]ed me again. he didn't give me any gamed. what the [ bleep ] am i supposed to do with a playstation without any games? [ bleep ]. [ bleep ]. >> what the [ bleep ]? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: then i get this video. and what happened the next day, daniel? >> next day? >> jimmy: yeah. >> i got -- laura sent me playstation gift cards. and i used them. it was great. >> jimmy: that's right. [ applause ] and i never heard from you again. you know what, we have somebody that i want to bring up. i think he's actually in australia or something. let's go to our satellite video. [ cheers and applause ] you may know this gentleman. george clooney. hey, george, how are you? >> hello, jimmy, how are you? >> jimmy: i'm good. i'm sitting here with your friend. >> i see my friend. you know, he's 35 years old. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: smoking is no good for you, daniel. [ laughter ] george, daniel was great in this movie. isn't he? i mean, come on, he is unbelievably good. >> yeah. he actually screwed it up for all the rest of us actors who do this [ bleep ] about how difficult our job is. he showed up, never acted before, he did everything in one
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take. >> jimmy: is that true? all in one take? >> yeah. >> jimmy: wow. [ laughter ] [ applause ] you didn't even know what a take was before this, daniel. >> no, i did. >> jimmy: so -- okay, so you guys -- i imagine you had a lot of fun on the set, right? >> yes. >> jimmy: yeah. and as far as batmen go, daniel, who is your favorite? ben affleck or george clooney? oh my goodness, wow. [ cheers and applause ] holy moly. george. george, i don't -- i -- i don't know if you're aware of this. but the woman sitting next to you? >> hm? what? >> jimmy: there's a woman sitting next to you. right there. [ laughter ] wow. holy -- leaving behind only -- maybe i hallucinated that, i don't know. wow. sure looked like julia roberts
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though. daniel, have you ever seen "pretty woman"? >> no. >> jimmy: oh, you're going to love it. >> you are. >> jimmy: that was exciting. okay. i'm going to calm down again. so daniel, you didn't tell us, who's your favorite batman? affleck or clooney? >> christian bale. [ laughter and applause ] >> hey, [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: guess who's not going to be in "the tender bar 2"? >> no, no. >> jimmy: so i heard that daniel went around and bought everyone wrapped gifts at the end of the shoot? tell us about that, daniel. >> i went to marshall's, i got george and everybody a toiletry bag, i got george a shirt that said "big george," i got him socks. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you found a shirt at marshall's that said "big george"? >> it wasn't marshall's, i don't know where. >> a classy joint, you got it from a classy joint. >> jimmy: that's the first time they ever got gifts from
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marshall's at the end of a film. [ laughter ] what did george get you? >> probably not. >> jimmy: what did george get you at the end the movie, daniel? >> george didn't get me [ bleep ], he [ bleep ]ed me. [ applause ] >> really. oh really. i've got another film for you, daniel, i'm going to work on. >> okay. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i got a lot of abuse, george, from you and ben about not delivering that playstation 5 at a moment's notice. >> you know what, jimmy? it showed up six months later. >> jimmy: was it really six months later? no, not even close to six months later, how dare you. >> it was like four months. >> jimmy: it was like four months, thank you, daniel. >> daniel, let's talk about how traumatic it was that jimmy promised you something and didn't give to it you. >> i know! >> you're learning about show business. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's right.
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that's right. and what george did is he didn't promise you anything, and he delivered on that promise. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> see? >> jimmy: by the way, daniel, i hate to break it to you. george hands his friends briefcases full of a million dollars. >> i know, i heard. >> jimmy: okay? >> yeah. >> jimmy: so fyi. what you're dealing with there. i guess you guys didn't hit it off. but let me tell you -- [ laughter ] can i say honestly, i love this movie. and george, you did a great job with it. and you are a genius for casting daniel in it, because daniel, you are so good in it. and i'm so happy for you. >> thank you. >> jimmy: and i hope that you do many, many movies after this. none of them will be with george. [ laughter ] make no mistake, you are out of george's life. [ laughter ] the movie is called "the tender bar." it opens in select theaters today, nationwide on december 22nd, and on amazon prime video january 7th. george clooney, daniel ranieri. [ cheers and applause ] we'll be back with ed sheeran and elton john!
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>> announcer: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. this is your home. this is your family room slash gym. the guest bedroom slash music studio. the daybed slash dog bed. the living room slash yoga shanti slash regional office slash classroom. and this is the basement slash panic room. maybe what your family needs is a vacation home slash vacation home. find yours on the vrbo app. ♪
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(ziploc bag opening) fin♪ (cheerful music) ♪app. ziploc is designed to help keep chicken fresh so you can unlock the best sous-chef ziploc, unloc life sc johnson
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>> announcer: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. >> jimmy: thanks to neil patrick harris, to daniel ranieri, george clooney, and julia roberts who popped in. apologies to matt damon. we did run out of time for him. "nightline" is next, but first, we wish you a merry christmas with a song called "merry christmas," here to benefit two very worthy causes, the suffolk music foundation and the aids healthcare foundation, ed sheeran and elton john! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ build a fire and gather round the tree fill a glass and maybe come and sing with me ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ so kiss me under the mistletoe ♪
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♪ pour out the wine let's toast and pray for december snow ♪ ♪ i know there's been pain this year but it's time to let it go ♪ ♪ next year you never know but for now merry christmas ♪ ♪ we'll dance in the kitchen while embers glow ♪ ♪ ♪ we've both known love but this love that we got is the best of all ♪ ♪ i wish you could see you through my eyes then you would know ♪ ♪ my god you look beautiful right now merry christmas ♪ ♪ the fire is raging on and we'll all sing along to the songs ♪ ♪ just having so much fun while we're here can we all spare a thought for the ones who have gone ♪ ♪ merry christmas everyone ♪ ♪ ahh ahh ♪ ♪ so just keep kissing me under
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the mistletoe ♪ ♪ pour out the wine let's toast and pray for december snow ♪ ♪ i know there's been pain this year but it's time to let it go ♪ ♪ next year you never know but for now merry christmas ♪ ♪ we'll dance in the kitchen while embers glow ♪ ♪ we've both known love but this love that we got is the best of all ♪ ♪ i wish you could see you through my eyes then you would know ♪ ♪ my god you look beautiful right now merry christmas ♪ ♪ i feel it when it comes every year helping us carry on ♪ ♪ filled up with so much love ♪ ♪ all our family and friends are together where we all belong ♪ ♪ merry christmas everyone ♪ ♪ aah aah ♪
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♪ aah aah ♪ ♪ it's christmas time for you and i we'll have a good night and a merry christmas ♪ ♪ it's christmas time for you and i we'll have a good night and a merry christmas ♪ ♪ it's christmas time for you and i we'll have a good night and a merry christmas ♪ ♪ it's christmas time for you and i we'll have a good night and a merry christmas ♪
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this is "nightline." tonight, theranos founder elizabeth holmes, guilty. the dramatic ending to the trial that's captivated silicon valley and the nation. and the omicron surge. with covid rates skyrocketing -- >> i'm just really worried. >> schools, parents, and teachers, struggling to know what is best. >> this should not be put on the back burner, because our lives matter, as well. inside the cocaine underworld. is tz guy has his gun. >> we meet one of the women at the top. and --


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