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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  February 1, 2022 11:35pm-12:37am PST

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tonight. dan: we appreciate all of your time right now. jimmy kimmel >>ou: fromolwo lily james and sebastian stan -- quinta brunson -- and music from eric bellinger. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, thank you. very nice. thank you. welcome. i'm jimmy, i'm the host. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. i'm glad to be here, i hope you are too. i'm glad to be at work. i had, an incident at home last night. i didn't tell you this, guillermo. it didn't really happen at home. it happened at school. so on sunday night, i made the kids, who are 4 and 7, billy and
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jane, their lunch. i packed the lunch. it was an apple, sliced up, a yogurt packet, some popcorn and a wow butter and honey sandwich. peanuts are not allowed at schools anymore because of allergies. so now we feed them "wow" butter. [ laughter ] we have no idea what it is but we feed it to them. so i pack the lunch and then i add a note. for my son billy i draw a little spider-man. and jane, our daughter, loves the song "girl on fire" by alicia keys, so in her lunch, i reference that song. i should also add that i am 54 years old and i can't see anymore. i can't read without glasses on. but when i wrote the notes, i didn't have glasses on. so i didn't notice that the pad i grabbed to write on had the words "f this" on top. [ laughter ] it said it on billy's, and it said it on jane's. and i did not realize this until i got a text after the show from billy's teacher. luckily billy can't read. jane, on the other hand. [ laughter ] i get home from work last night.
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i say "how was school?" and she says, "there was a very bad word in my lunch today." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] yeah. i don't know how the pad even got into our house. daddy's blind and dumb. [ laughter ] today in case you didn't know, is the start of the lunar new year. 2022 is the year of the tiger. last year was the year of the ox and, of course, 2016-2020 were the years of the pig. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] it is also the first day of black history month. [ cheers ] that's right. and the start of 28 days of the worst woman you went to high school with, complaining on facebook that there's no white history month. [ laughter ] no "all" history month. mike pence is not having a great black history month so far. this is the month he usually really shines. [ laughter ] vice president pence is in the dghouse with his former owner, donald trump. [ laughter ] who put out an angry statement
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over the weekend repeating his claim that pence had the power to overturn the election in his favor. today, he went about eight steps further with what is certainly among the top five craziest statements made by a former president of the united states. he wrote, on paper because he's not allowed to post on twitter -- [ laughter ] "so pathetic to watch the unselect committee of political hacks, liars, and traitors work so feverishly to alter the electoral college act so that a vice president cannot ensure the honest results of the election," when just one year ago they said "the vice president has absolutely no right to ensure the true outcome or results of an election." in other words, they lied, and the vice president did have this right. blah blah blah -- "if nancy pelosi, who is in charge of capitol security, had taken my recommendation and substantially increased security, there would have been no 'january 6' as we know it!" [ laughter ] that's a good one. if nancy pelosi had listened when i told her to protect the capitol from me and my idiots, none of this would have
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happened! [ cheers and applause ] oh, there's one. "therefore, the unselect committee should be investigating why nancy pelosi did such a poor job of overseeing security and why mike pence did not send back the votes for recertification or approval, in that it has now been shown that he clearly had the right to do so!" you understand he's calling for an investigation of his own vice president. [ laughter ] this is like bonnie calling for an investigation into clyde. [ laughter ] the saddest part is mike pence is so pathetic, he'll probably agree. "yes, i should be investigated." [ laughter ] trump is turning on everyone. tomorrow he'll be demanding they arrest tiffany for not signing his birthday card. [ laughter ] this was his running mate. how does this make sense to anyone? i have to ask those of you who are still supporting this lunat lunatic, why are you still supporting this lunatic? [ cheers and applause ] it's mind-boggling. you know how trump had to hand over all his records related to january 6th? well, when the documents -- when
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they finally handed them over, they were forced to, many of them had been torn into pieces and they had to be taped back together. they'd been personally ripped up by trump. the national archive did not explain how, they know they were ripped up by trump. my guess is tiny little bbq sauce fingerprints. [ laughter ] apparently he used to do this a lot. he was under the impression the documents couldn't be put back together because his son eric ate all the glue at the white house. [ laughter ] trump had such a habit of ripping up important documents, they had to hire people whose job was to tape them back together. i love that robert mueller couldn't get him, but trump might finally get brought down by a roll of scotch tape. [ laughter ] and this is all especially interesting when you consider what he said back in 2020 about nancy pelosi tearing her copy of his state of the union speech in half. >> well, i thought it was a terrible thing when she ripped up the speech. first of all, it's an official document, you're not allowed, it's illegal what she did, she broke the law. >> jimmy: then so did you, i guess. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ]
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according to the "new york times" -- this is some story, listen closely to this. six weeks after the election, trump instructed rudy giuliani to call the department of homeland security to see if they could legally take control of the voting machines, in swing states he lost which, of course, they could not. trump tried three times to seize the voting machines, he had a memo drawn up asking the department of defense to do it, but never issued it. he asked bill barr to have the department of justice do it, they said no. he asked giuliani to have the department of homeland security do it, they said no. his team even floated the idea of having the military seize the machines but giuliani shot that down. he felt that ordering the military to seize voting machines would be "beyond the pale." do you realize how crazy a plan has to be for rudy giuliani to be like, now wait a minute -- [ laughter ] you know you've gone too far when you make recount dracula think twice. okay? [ laughter ] the fda yesterday gave their official seal of approval to moderna's covid vaccine. which is great news for the 38 million people who already got it.
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a year ago. [ laughter ] it's like when you get off a roller coaster and the carny says, "the seatbelts are working!" [ laughter ] the vaccine, which for reasons i will never comprehend, is called "spikevax." which is like a pokemon or something. [ laughter ] but that's what moderna is going with, and they're already hard at work trying to make it a household word. >> for two years mow learn dehas been working night and day to developing a life-saving covid-19 vaccine so you and your loved ones can get back to what really matters. family. friendship. eating indoors at an olive garden. falling in love. falling in love while eating indoors at an olive garden. this is the fabric that forms the beautiful quilt we call life. and we here at moderna are proud to add a new fabric, one that was just approved by the fda. we're talking about -- spikevax!
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hey, you. >> me? >> me? what vaccine did you get? >> moderna? >> wrong! you got spikevax! what's spikevax? glad you asked, you stupid piece of [ bleep ]. it's the fda-approved covid-19 vaccine. it's got all the life-saving ingredients with an extra dose of, hell, yeah! eat my johnson & johnson! when the pharmacist asks you what vaccine you want, what are you going to tell them? >> i'm going to tell them that i want moderna. >> no! >> did you spit on me? >> don't worry, you won't get sick because you're getting spikevaxed! >> spikevax brought to you by dozens of hard-working scientists. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right, you know, i like it. a week from sunday here in los angeles, super bowl lvi. the cincinnati bengals against our hometown los angeles rams. [ cheers and applause ]
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the big football news is tom brady, the greatest quarterback of all time, announced that he's calling it quits. what he's accomplished is amazing. 22 years in the league. 7 super bowl victories. 5 mvp trophies. [ cheers and applause ] all while eating just one almond a day. [ laughter ] a quarterback retiring at 44 is like the rest of us retiring from our jobs at 95. [ laughter ] tom brady did a lot for the patriots and tampa and the sport of football. but he's also done a lot for goats. pople don't mention, before they were associated with him, they were like the 12th most pop ar farm animal. [ laughter ] the question is what happens to grong? do they just release him into the everglades? [ laughter ] let him live among the gators and snakes for a while? tom brady has a lot of passionate fans but none more than a bright little boy from seacocs, massachusetts, named
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for his idol. say hello to tommy brady fitzpatrick, everybody. [ applause ] cute little fella, sleepy. how are you doing? >> oh, judas priest, not you! this week wasn't bad enough? first we get smacked with a bomb cyclone, and now i got this chubby lesbian on my zoom. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i just wanted to get your thoughts about tom brady retiring. because i know -- ha ha ha! please. tom brady is not retiring. it's a hoax, just like that coronavirus. the lib-tard lefty media got it wrong again. tommy terrific spent 22 years faking out defend respect on the gridiron, now he faked out you, you turdburglah! sucka! >> jimmy: well, there was some confusion over the weekend. but today, tom himself announced he's retiring. >> no suh. >> jimmy: yes. he did. he tweeted it. >> no suh! >> jimmy: it was on instagram
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and everything. >> don't you [ bleep ] with me, kimble! not you! >> jimmy: it's true. i'm not making it up. >> no! this can't be happening. >> jimmy: come on, now. >> tom brady's like supah-man. captain america-rr. supah-heroes don't retire! they're supposed to live forever! >> jimmy: i know, i know. >> wah, wah, wah! oh my god, i'm starving, every time i cry this happens. [ laughter ] if my mother was here i'd suck her floppy knockers dry. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: where is your mother, tommy? >> not that it's any of ya business -- but ma won $800 in scratchas, so she took an ubah ta foxwoods and she's going to let it ride. you're hot, you're hot. you gotta problem with that? >> jimmy: no, i just -- >> you gotta problem? >> jimmy: no, i just worry about you being home alone. is anybody watching you? >> eww gross, now you sound like my priest.
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is that you, father owe duel? [ laughter ] for the record, i am not interested, like wicked not interested in you watching me, spanky very much. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what's that you're eating there, tommy? >> what the [ bleep ] do ya think it is? >> jimmy: i don't know. >> lobstah mac & cheese and a claw, claw! lobstah mac & cheese and a mike's pastries, put it in a blender, call it suppah. >> jimmy: sounds delicious. >> claw's the best part, delica delicacy. >> jimmy: so now that brady is retiring, what do you think he'll do? do you think he'll come back to boston? >> what do i think he'll do? do i have ta spell it out for you? it's pretty [ bleep ] obvious. >> jimmy: well, what is he -- >> crystal cleah! first, he "retires," that's step one. then, he's gonna divorce
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giselle, then, marry my ma, move right here to seekonk, next ta the speedway. then he's gonna un-retire, re-sign with tha pats, build a time machine, go back to 2020, though some baby batter in my mother, i'm born, he's my dad, pats win five more straight super bowls. got it? [ applause ] >> jimmy: you have a very active imagination, tommy. thank you, tommy. everything all right? >> everything all right, everything all right? do nawt condescend to me, arite? i will kick your shriveled old balls up and down the neighborhood! from winchester to winchendon, from mattapan to mattapoisset, from ponkapaug public golf course to pompanesset beach! >> jimmy: please don't cry. >> child services, if yah watchin', this perv from hollywood is saying tom brady won't travel through time to
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have sex with my ma! >> jimmy: please stop. please stop crying. oh, you're peeing. i think the diaper's loose. there's something going on. i'm sorry. don't cry. >> fa real? ya sorry? >> jimmy: i am sorry, yeah. >> you mean it? >> jimmy: yeah, i do mean it. >> you apologize? >> jimmy: i apologize, i'm sorry. >> bahahahahhaaa. gotcha, you friggin -- [ bleep ]. go pats! >> jimmy: thank you, tommy brady fits pat trick. he's a baby with on very, very, very dirty mouth. >> [ bleep ]. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have a good show for you tonight. from "abbott elementary," quinta brunson is here. we've got music from eric bellinger and we'll be right back with lily james and sebastian stan.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, there, welcome back to the show. tonight from "abbott elementary" chirs right here on abc, quinta brunson is with us. [ cheers and applause ] then later, from los angeles, which is where we are, his grammy-nominated album is called "new light" music from eric bellinger. [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow night, let's see. andy cohen and slash will join us with music from slash featuring myles kennedy & the conspirators. and on thursday, josh gad, anna chlumsky, and music from the weather station. so please join us for all that. [ cheers and applause ] nearly 30 years ago, a beautiful canadian "baywatch" girl fell in love with the drummer from motley crue, then a disgruntled carpenter stole their sex tape, and the rest is history.
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you can see it all in the new limited series "pam and tommy." >> i'm okay, really, i'm okay. >> hey, it's a very dangerous lot. >> a lot of the murders. >> i got to go. >> it's not even 4:00. >> i know. >> i have to see you again tomorrow. >> it is tomorrow. >> where are we going? >> i'm -- um -- i need to go -- >> to cancun. >> i [ bleep ] love cancun! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: "pam and tommy" premieres tomorrow on hulu. please welcome lily james and sebastian stan. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> jimmy: i have to tell you, it's funny. just watching the show last night, now seeing you, you made quite a transformation, very remarkable. >> thank you. >> jimmy: did you -- i know, for instance, lily, you actually -- did you lose your eyebrows? >> this is so humiliating. this is really how i walked around for the whole job. it was a real fall from grace. for four months i looked like that. >> jimmy: yeah. >> off camera. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: sebastian, you're just in a pair of thong underpants for the whole first episode. [ laughter ] >> yeah, i mean, he didn't like to wear clothes when he played the drums. so i had toshlgs you know -- yeah. >> jimmy: i didn't know that extended to hanging out with his friends and rehearsing, that he was in his underwear. >> well, you know. when you're carrying some luggage around -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: as far as playing
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pamela anderson, who's an iconic figure, here in the united states -- you're not from the united states, obviously -- what -- how do you figure that out? >> i don't know, it was -- it was the biggest challenge. and i really am -- when they asked me to do it, or we spoke about doing it, i was like, are you insane? have you seen me? this is crazy. but i mean, i just studied her, watched -- i love her, you know. >> jimmy: do you love her? [ laughter ] >> yes. >> jimmy: did you love her before or did you fall in love with her? >> both. i used to watch your interviews with her the whole time to do her accent. >> jimmy: we had very in-depth interviews. [ laughter ] >> when she spilled champagne over you. >> jimmy: i have almost no memory of any of that. [ laughter ] honestly, the only thing i remember is she would stare at herself on the monitor, on the tv screen in front of her, it was hard for me to even get her attention. [ laughter ] so you guys, you buckled down,
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you studied pam and tommy. i remember the whole story, but my wife, we were watching, and she didn't remember even that is tape had been stolen. >> right, yeah. well, i think that's one of the things with the show that, you know, we're excited for people to see. because there's a lot about the story that people don't know. and that is one of the things, that they had nothing to do with it, you know. and it really -- it is an american crime story, after all, you know. >> jimmy: i also was kind of under the impression that they were just careless with the tape and left it out. but it was much more than that? >> yeah, it was -- >> what are you leaving out at your house? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: nothing anyone wants to see, believe me. >> when you're in the privacy of your home, you don't always think about that. i guess maybe now in 2022 we should. seeing this, maybe we have to think about what we leave around. but you know, they were home, they were in love. they got married in four days in canc cancun, passionately, and it's like -- they just were acting actually like a married couple. >> jimmy: yeah.
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>> the first viral tape that went out there. i mean, the first -- this is completely unprecedented situation. >> jimmy: right, this was pre-kim kardashian tape. [ laughter ] >> yeah. >> jimmy: they were pioneers in that respect for sure. [ laughter ] in a way it's like you're playing lewis and clark, you know? [ laughter ] of celebrity porn. [ applause ] >> i don't know about that. you know. again, i feel -- i feel for them. it's hard for us to not have delved in so deep as we have. i think we were both just terrified to play these characters, to play them. they're real-life people. i don't have tattoos on my body, and it's like -- i think we both just -- we would on a repeat listen to their voices and their interviews. and i know we both did this. we would actually scream into pillows in between the scenes because i was trying to get my voice raspy to sound like him and you were doing that too.
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you were screaming into a pillow as well? >> i think everyone thought we were literally losing our minds in our trailers. >> and i was doing cai cai ca myself. >> jimmy: what songs were you doing? >> motley crue was a lot of it. billy joel. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: were you in the throng when you did the billy joel? [ laughter ] >> i had the tattoos, though. >> yeah, he looked great walking around in tattoos, and i walked around with bleach eyebrows looking like a freak. >> jimmy: the tattoos are drawn on, i assume? >> no, they have to be stuck on. so there can't be -- you have to shave for that. >> jimmy: i want to ask you about one other aspect of finding this character, sebastian. in fact, i believe we have a videotape. now what's going on there? >> what is -- >> yeah, you don't really know about this. >> no, i don't. >> i have -- my acting coach,
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the great mary moss, happened to have taught helen hunt for "as good as it gets." he told her, put nickels in your shoes so you know what it's like to stand on your feet for 12 hours. i said, larry, i need something myself. we came up with this idea. so for the duration of the shoot, i actually, you know -- tommy was a big man. anyway, i wore these steel balls -- [ laughter ] i didn't want to tell you. >> i'm so glad i didn't know. >> i did. yeah. [ laughter ] you know, so just in case you need a little weight when you walk into a room. [ cheers and applause ] where them with pride, baby! >> jimmy: wear them? these are going in the smithsonian. you didn't notice the sound of something clacking around? >> i never heard clanging. >> i know it sounds insane, but trust me, i was like -- i need to kind of feel like a man. [ laughter ]
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>> you are a man. >> well. anyway. >> jimmy: you know, these are -- wow. what a beautiful gift. [ laughter ] i've not received anything like this before. have these been cleansed? >> yeah. >> jimmy: they have, okay, all rght. >> very good point. >> jimmy: lily james and sebastian stan are with us. as are tommy lee's brass balls. [ laughter ] we'll be right back. ♪ ♪ alright, i trust you. ♪ ♪ no, no, no. have some more ♪ ♪ i love you, too. ♪ ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: this is nice. we're back with lily james and
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sebastian stan. they are the stars of "pam and tommy." i love that there's a container for these. [ laughter ] so seth rogen plays this construction worker who -- that's the guy who steals the safe, steals the tape from pam and tommy. he's disgruntled. had you worked -- either of you worked with seth before or knew seth before? >> no. >> no. >> no, but obviously it's impossible to have not seen some of his movies. i mean, i know you love "pineapple express." >> jimmy: "pineapple express," of course, of course. huey lewis sings the theme song, how could you not love it? [ laughter ] >> exactly. his laugh is just -- >> oh, his laugh. >> you can't miss it. >> jimmy: yeah. >> it's like choir on sunday. [ laughter ] it echoes around. you know where he is because you can hear his laugh. >> jimmy: it's funny, it cheers everyone up, hearing that laugh. it should be on an alarm clock
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or something like that. >> i'm sure someone's got it. >> jimmy: did you guys know each other before this? >> no. >> jimmy: oh, wow. you had to really make out. you guys were making out in that clip. [ laughter ] you don't know each other at all. do you say anything to each other beforehand? like, "yeah, let's go for it," or "i'm sorry," or anything like that? [ laughter ] >> we had mint. >> i had fake teeth in. >> jimmy: does that change it a little bit? >> more in my mouth, i guess. [ laughter ] but we never really saw each other outside of character. >> i texted her early on, i'm scared as [ bleep ], i'll hold your hand, we're in this together. i didn't see her outside of pom la until the end of the shoot. >> kind of awkward. "oh, hi." i stayed in my accent the entire time. suddenly i was speaking english -- >> oh, you have an accent.
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>> yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: did your family back home, are they aware of this whole story and the phenomenon and what you're doing? >> they are, they are. [ laughter ] i would facetime them as pamela. talk to them as pamela. but then i think -- the other day my brother came around for lunch when i was at home in england. i had a picture of pamela, a "playboy," picture, she looks incredible. my brother comes by, oh, lily! no, it's pamela! [ laughter ] i worried that i ruined pamela anderson for him, which be such a tragedy. >> jimmy: i think he'll be okay. it's so much fun. i hear you talking about being terrified to do this. if there's some project that terrified me, you know what i would do? not do it. [ laughter ] is that something that actually appeals to you, that you are looking for something that scares you beforehand? >> yeah. >> i think so. i think as actors, you're always sort of -- i don't know, it just -- it's also the company
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that we were in, obviously. you know, we hadn't met but i had seen all her work. you know. i always admired her as an actress. also craig gillespie, who i had worked with before. a good group of people. andrew dice clay is interesting. it was an opportunity in a way, i think. >> yeah, and to have somethig that we were so committed. we went so in deep, wanted to take care of, you know, pamela and tommy and sort of play them as authentically as we possibly could. so it was -- to be that all-in on a project, it was really thrilling. >> jimmy: it was a lot of fun to watch. "pam and tommy" premieres tomorrow on hulu. lily james, sebastian stan, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] we'll be back with quinta brunson. what if smartphones were more than just smart? the all new google pixel 6 truly sees you. not a blurry face. and for things you don't want to see, it removes them instantly with magic eraser.
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>> jimmy: music from eric bellinger is on the way. our next guest is a very funny, philly-born force of nature with a great new show on, of all things, network television. it's called "abbott elementary." >> i -- a "no" from alyssa is like a thousand "noes" like anyone else. >> she doesn't think like us, she's wired differently. >> totally. >> what happened to the janine who was hopping over turnstiles to protest minimum wage for transit workers? >> i couldn't get over the turnstile, it didn't make sense as a protest. >> jimmy: "an bet elementary" airs tuesday nights here on abc. please welcome quinta brunson! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ you look great, so glamorous. >> thank you. i had to show the girls i could
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do it real quick. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: very good to finally meet you. >> i know. >> jimmy: i feel like i know you, but i don't know you. >> why do you feel that way? >> jimmy: you were on the show when i was not here, i watched you the show. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i've watched you on your various projects. >> that's true. i feel like i know you too. i watch you at night -- on your television show, not at night. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: a completely artificial relationship. and the show is really great. [ cheers and applause ] i think it will be one of these shows -- i don't want to set the bar too high, but i feel this is going to be a show that's going to be on in nine years, we're still going to be watching this show. >> i'm going to just receive it. [ laughter ] i can't do anything but just receive that -- you were one of the first people who got to see the show. and believe in the show, if you recall. >> jimmy: yes, i do recall. i saw the promo for the show and i was like, that looks really good, can i see that? i asked abc if i could see it. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and i was like, oh, this is really good. >> yes.
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and then jimmy dm'd me on instagram. and said, jimmy kimmel is like, hey, what's up? it's jimmy kimmel, this show is really good. and i was like, hello, what? [ laughter ] and i said, is this really jimmy kimmel? and you were like, yeah, it's me. i thought you were hacked. i was going to call abc. [ laughter ] make sure everything was okay? you should see me trying to figure out how to send a dm. takes like 40 minutes for me to even get there. >> that's sweet. that made my day, thank you. >> jimmy: i'm glad i was right, too. i knew it was going to be a hit. i was finally right about something, how about that. [ laughter ] i mentioned that the show was set in philadelphia. your hometown. >> yes. >> jimmy: and very well set. not just -- it's not just one of those fake sets, it really feels like it's there. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i don't know exactly how to describe how you achieved that. there are moments and there are references and just the whole look of the whole thing. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you live here in l.a. now? >> i live here in l.a. and the show was actually filmed in l.a.
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at warner brothers on a lot. but i just felt the more specific you go with the city, the better. i think the inclination is like, you know, you want to just go -- maybe broader on network tv. but what i've learned from comedies is that the more specific you go, the more universal you go. so i thought if we can make the building as specifically dirty as a philadelphia public school is? [ laughter ] and the teachers as specifically philadelphian, and the props, and the references, you know. the references in there that are just for people from philly that no one is going to get. but i feel like anyone can relate to it their own hometown. >> jimmy: i couldn't agree more, that is so smart to do to make it very, very specific. i'm sure they go nuts in philly. have you been back home since then? >> i haven't been back home since then. i haven't gotten to go back. i wish i could. >> jimmy: what were you doing when you left philly to come out to los angeles? >> so i was -- when i was in
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philly, i was working at the apple store. >> jimmy: oh, okay. >> and i used that job to transfer to los angeles. because i needed to transfer -- i needed a job, so i needed to transfer my apple job to -- >> jimmy: apple store to apple store. >> apple store to apple store. >> jimmy: let's do an apples to apples comparison. [ laughter ] what is it like, what are the differences of working in an l.a. apple store and a philadelphia apple store? >> i'm glad you asked. philadelphia apple store was the best. l.a. apple store, maybe -- [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: why? what was it? >> first of all, the people are lovely, let me just say that. i love my co-workers, shout out to my century city apple store homies all day, all day. century city, which here is the beverly hills area. in philly, customers needed their phone fixed because they had to take care of their family, they had to get to work, they had to take care of their children. you know. gritty, it's cold outside, they
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need their phone. i don't know the correlation with that, but that's -- here, there was -- a couple stories. one in particular, a woman came to the store and she said, i need my -- she said, the swipe isn't working. all right, i put my finger on it, the swipe is working. she's like, no, it's not working for my dog. [ laughter ] and i was like, excuse me? there was this dog app she had on her phone. and this woman is wearing all pink head to toe. which was just -- [ bleep ]. oh! sorry. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: a man just handed me his metal testicles before you got here. >> oh. >> jimmy: nothing to worry about. >> i didn't see it. she's just already just looking like pepto-bismol, telling me that she needs her swipe to work for her dog. and i said, i'm sorry what are
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you talking about? she's like, my dog's paw. her dog's in her bag. is not working on this ipad. >> jimmy: what? >> i had to say a sentence i never thought i'd have to say. ma'am, this is meant for human hands. [ laughter ] get out of here. so those were the differences. >> jimmy: sounds like there's a market opening for ipads for dogs, i didn't realize that. >> yeah. [ laughter ] if anyone wants to get in the business. >> the school, abbott elementary, is we know named after one of your real teachers, ms. abbott. >> yes. >> jimmy: from what grade? >> from sixth grade. >> jimmy: from sixth grade. when was the last time you saw ms. abbott? >> probably six grade. [ laughter ] probably sixth grade. i got to talk to her recently. >> jimmy: let's talk to her again because we happen to have her on -- [ cheers and applause ]
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>> hi! >> hi, ms. abbott! i'm not crying. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: how did you find -- >> i'm so proud of you. >> jimmy: thank, ms. abbott. oh, i think she meant you. laugh have how did you find out that the show was named after you? >> well, actually, it was confirmed one night when i was watching abc news. they were talking about the "abbott elementary" show and the newscaster said, "ms. abbott, if you're watching, quinta would like to reconnect with you." so i was like, oh my god. very honored. i was just so excited. >> jimmy: did you ever imagine back when she was a sixth grade student that quinta would one day write a show and name it after you? oh, there you guys are together. [ applause ] what kind of kid was she?
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>> awesome student. when she came into my class, she was really shy. timid. but as i challenge all of my students, we have to speak in complete sentences. i build their confidence that whatever you want to do, you can do it. you have to work hard. we did projects where we worked hard to go to fabulous places, just instilling that in them, instilling their confidence. quinta was an awesome student. very driven at that time. >> jimmy: wow. >> grew out of her shell. she was really our spokesperson. one of the newspapers, the local newspaper did an article on us. they said we entered the classroom, we were met by the articulate quinta brunson! [ laughter ] she's amazing, just amazing. >> jimmy: wow. what a special thing that you named this show after her. look at how emotional you are. >> i can't. >> jimmy: i heard you were about to retire, ms. abbott? >> get me crying, jimmy! [ laughter ]
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>> yes. i've done close to 30 years. and it's about time for me to retire. i'll be retiring. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you obviously are a great teacher. obviously. and to celebrate your retirement, you and a friend -- we're going to send you on an all-expenses paid, first class, 5-day trip thanks to vacasa vacation rentals. [ cheers and applause ] you don't have to take quinta, but she did name her show after you. >> oh my goodness, ms. abbott! >> jimmy: "abbott elementary" tuesday nights, 9:00 on abc. [ cheers and applause ] thank you, quinta brunson. thank you, ms. abbott. we'll be back with eric bellinger!
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only at the disneyland resort. now visit the disneyland resort with a multi-day ticket. visit for important details. >> jimmy: oh, hi. i want to thank lily james, sebastian stan, and quinta brunson. apologies to matt damon. tomorrow night, andy cohen and slash will be here. nightline" is next, but first, his grammy-nominated album is
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called "new light." here with the song "what about us." with help from sevyn, eric bellinger! ♪ ♪ what about me what about you what about love what about trust ♪ ♪ what about then talkin back when you would hop in when i pull up ♪ ♪ reminiscing bout back then lately member how i used to ♪ ♪ you crazy back seat in the whip so wavy in so deep almost had my ♪ ♪ baby what about what about what about what about us what about what ♪ ♪ about love girl what's up what about linkin back up tell them other ♪ ♪ back up ooowhaaaau your honor what about me what about you what about love ♪ ♪ what about trust what about me what about love what about us ♪ ♪ what about us fell for a ting from the west side if i'm ♪ ♪ being honest tlc no left eye that's all that she wanted ♪ ♪ how you gone unfollow me leave me for the streets babe ♪ ♪ there's no degree how cold you could be babe ♪ ♪ girl i remember the time i got receipts on my line the naked kind ♪ ♪ so don't you front don't you lie i know ya body like me ♪
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♪ put that on slime girl you been my favorite just do me one favor ♪ ♪ don't keep that far from me ♪ ♪ what about me what about you what about love what about trust ♪ ♪ what about then talkin' back when you would hop in when i pull up ♪ ♪ reminiscing bout back then lately member how i used to ♪ ♪ you crazy back seat in the whip so wavy in so deep almost had ♪ ♪ my baby what about what about what about what about us ♪ ♪ what about what about love girl what's up what about linkin ♪ ♪ back up tell them other what about me what ♪ ♪ about you what about love what about trust what about me what ♪ ♪ about love what about us what about us ♪ ♪ gave my heart for the first time he was all on it ♪ ♪ even though i left with my head high i was broken like promises ♪ ♪ don't play the victim wit me guilty as can be babe do you believe ♪ ♪ things that you see ♪ ♪ the that you speak cray make me regret all the times i sent them pics ♪ ♪ to yo line you know the kind
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wish i could go and ♪p♪ rewind l back in yo mind and that's on slime ♪ ♪ used to be my favorite it ain't like i hate ya ♪ ♪ but this is how it's gotta be yeah ♪ ♪ oh yeah ♪ ♪ what about me what about you what about love what about trust ♪ ♪ what about then talkin' back when you would hop in when i pull up ♪ ♪ reminiscing bout back then lately member how i used to ♪ ♪ you crazy back seat in the whip so wavy in so deep almost had ♪ ♪ my baby what about what about what about what about ♪ ♪ us what about what about love girl what's up what about linkin back up ♪ ♪ tell them other back what about me what ♪ ♪ about you what about love what about trust what about me what ♪ ♪ about love what about us what about us ♪ ♪ oh yeah yeah whoa ♪ ♪ i just need one last try one last try one more night ♪ ♪ what about us ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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this is "nightline." >> tonight, tom brady, the legend, stepping off the field for good. >> seven super bowl titles. i don't know if we'll see anything like that in our lifetime. >> how tom brady played so well for so long. >> i was always kind of motivated by people that say, you can't do it, you're not good enough, you're not fast enough. >> why he finally decided to walk away from the game he changed. >> he retires today having crushed father time. nobody does this. plus halle berry, the oscar-winning actress breaking barriers and paving the way for so many. >> my hope is for the tessa thompsons and the zendayas, that their fight will be indelibly


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