tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC April 1, 2022 11:35pm-12:27am PDT
>> italy. >> jimmy: italy? >> milan. >> right here, right here, big smile, big smile, great. great. looks good. wave once, wave once. thanks. >> guillermo, can you come over here? [ laughter ] >> great, great. a few more. a few more. >> jimmy: have you met guillermo? >> hi. >> guillermo: nice to meet you. >> jimmy: did you see this? that's guillermo. >> nice to meet you. >> wait right there. great, looks great. [ laughter ] turn your shoulders toward me a little bit. >> guillermo and i have been working together almost 15 years. almost like a brother to me. we're both guests on the jimmy kimmel show. imagine that. >> jimmy: guillermo on that side.
like that. april fools'! april fools'! >> jimmy: you know what that is, april fools? >> yeah. >> jimmy: do they celebrate april fools in italy? >> yeah. >> jimmy: oh. >> many jokes. >> jimmy: jokes, right, yeah. like this. >> yeah, exactly. >> jimmy: one that you still haven't gotten, really, i guess. [ laughter and applause ] >> take a picture from right here. >> jimmy: are you a violinist? >> i'm a beginner. >> jimmy: you walk around with it? >> yes. >> jimmy: yes. >> there we go, a few more this way, great. this way. square this way. this way. >> can you play us something? >> play it -- oh -- >> this way, keep going. >> play a little something. >> play a little something? all right. we've got to make some jokes. >> i will, yeah. yeah, i'll make some jokes, absolutely. trust me. people will be laughing. [ laughter ] just try it. look in the camera, try to play. we're recording. >> look at me. great, great. ♪
look over here while you're playing. fabulous. thank you, keep going. ♪ >> jimmy: not bad. you keep practicing and it's going to be great. you know? ♪ very well done. yeah. that was good. that was good. >> so this is your -- how many years have you been on the tv show? >> jimmy: 19 years, actually, yeah. it's weird. a person could have a beard one second, then not again, right? you know? >> why did you get rid of yours? you got rid of yours? >> jimmy: no, it's right there. >> it's a little bit there. >> jimmy: it's a little bit there, yes, it's good. >> look at me while holding the bow, great. that would be great, thank you. perfect. >> it takes me so long to grow the beard. [ laughter ] >> i cut off my hair, glue it on -- [ laughter ] >> thank you for doing this.
>> jimmy: she might be the most oblivious person in the whole world. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: we're two different people, you're not drunk. >> oh, two of them. >> jimmy: don't ever have children! [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> oh my goodness. thank you very much. i feel the love, i feel the love! keep it up. we have a great show for you tonight. we have some surprises. jimmy kimmel's aunt chippy will be here! [ cheers and applause ] here's the deal. she has no idea she's even going to be on the show or that i'm here. [ laughter ] it's a total surprise. she thinks she's doing a different bit on a different floor, doing a mother's day thing. we'll check in with her. we've got a giant rooftop performance from red hot chili peppers! [ cheers and applause ]
jimmy kimmel's aunt chippy is on. total surprise. she has no idea she's going to be on the show. she also has no idea i'm hosting instead of her nephew. can we see a shot of her back stage? >> talk about why this is such a great -- women love to clean, okay? >> are you kidding me? let me tell you something. if anybody got me this mop and this bucket, i'd cut their nuts off. [ laughter ] >> yeah, that's good. she thinks she's doing a mother's day sketch for the show. we're going to bring her out there later. there is no mother's day sketch. [ laughter ] she's just in the building, is they the way they got her to come in. also, we have great music tonight. their brand new album, "unlimited love," came out today. it's out now. [ cheers and applause ] red hot chili peppers are here! they're making their first tv performance in 10 years with us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] they're performing next door on the roof of the hollywood roosevelt hotel. also they're performing on "the
tonight show" in new york at the same time. [ laughter ] yeah. i also want to say congrats to red hot chili peppers, they just got a star on the hollywood walk of fame. [ cheers and applause ] yeah, two days ago. i can't wait to see them later. it's going to be great. all right. let's start the show. ready? [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen -- drumroll, please. [ drumroll ] our first guest tonight is one of the biggest movie stars on the planet. he's an academy award winner whose films have made over $7 billion worldwide. you know him from movies like "good will hunting," "the martian," "the bourne identity," and so much more. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to "jimmy kimmel live" the one, the only, matt damon! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
[ cheers and applause ] >> oh my goodness, i can't believe it. matt? matt? welcome. matt, please -- >> i love you! >> matt, have a seat. welcome, welcome to the show. let me put your -- you brought your dunkin' with you, yeah. thank you for finally coming on. matt damon, i know you're from boston. you love boston. from there, what. >> yeah. >> what are your favorite boston spots? >> take the "t" to hah-vahrd. [ laughter ] >> you go to harvard? college? >> that's where i went to school. >> yeah. you still hang out there?
>> yeah. dunkin'. >> yeah, got to go to dunkin', yeah, of course. [ applause ] >> there's boston, uh, pahk. cheers. >> cheers, got to go to cheers when you're in boston. >> sometimes you -- you wanna go where everybody knows that i'm matt damon. [ laughter ] >> is that how the show goes? hey, matt, i have a bunch of questions for matt damon. [ laughter ] >> fire away. >> all right. obviously -- fire away. one of your favorite catch phrases, yeah. "jason bourne" movies, they were some of the best movies. [ cheers ] how many movies were there, how many bourne movies were there? >> um, eight? >> you remember the first one was "bourne." >> "bourne."
>> second one was? "bourne again." >> third one? >> "bourne another time." [ laughter ] >> "bourne another time," i remember that. fourth? >> "bourne to be wild." >> "bourne to be wild," that's a good one. >> then "tokyo drift." [ laughter ] >> i've got some more questions for you. >> okay. >> look, you have many kids. are their ages, and please, t - matt, the floor is yours right now, please take your time. [ laughter ] >> uh -- uh -- kim. >> uh-huh? >> khloe. [ laughter and applause ] kourtney. and joe jonas. [ cheers ] >> that's correct, joe jonas, one of your kids. i want -- "good will hunting" -- >> i was in that! >> 25th anniversary.
[ cheers and applause ] >> some people don't know this, there was a different title? >> totally. >> can you tell me, what was the original title? >> "janitor genius." [ applause ] >> that is right? >> "janitor genius." but the genius was spelled with a "j." >> more of a comedy. >> it was more of a comedy. >> "janitor j echenius." >> more of a comedy, until ben -- >> ben made it what it is, a great film. >> yes. >> i know you want me to fire away, ask you more questions. >> fire away. >> i know, i heard that. we're running out of time. i just thought, we love matt damon here, we do. [ cheers and applause ] matt, i would feel like a fool if i didn't ask you to say the classic line from "good will
hunting." do you mind doing it for us right now? [ cheers and applause ] >> wow. do you like apples? >> what? >> do you like apples? >> yeah. >> i got a numbah. how do you like them apples? [ cheers and applause ] >> that's what i'm talking about. matt damon! that's how you do it. matt, i thought since you were here, if you don't mind, i thought jimmy kimmel would love it if you signed something. >> oh. >> i mean -- >> yes. >> then i was thinking about it. i go, jimmy would really want something more from matt damon. if matt damon was on the show. >> right. >> so i was just wondering -- >> because i've never been here. [ laughter ] >> could you tag his desk? [ cheers and applause ]
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see you. >> see you later! >> i know that you're -- >> hi, guys. [ cheers and applause ] >> got to catch my breath. daddy's going to do a little cardio at home, sorry. [ laughter ] that was fun, dude. i really am out of breath, story. [ laughter ] do we have oxygen just in case? if that's how things go down? mouth mouth?ould you give me - >> guillermo: yeah, i will, yeah. >> we did before the show just to practice, just to make sure. welcome. >> smog is real. >> yeah, it certainly is, yeah, i'm feeling it. thank you so much for being here. i'm a little out of breath but i want to thank you. you're one of my faves. >> you and matt damon are my faves. >> you know matt? >> we spoke backstage. [ laughter ] >> good-looking guy. >> stunner, yeah. [ laughter ] >> you are in the studio, you're working on a new album. can we say that or not?
>> yeah, sure. [ cheers and applause ] >> are we close? are we getting there? >> we're close. >> we're close, we're close. >> yeah. as a matter of fact, i'm going to the studio after this. >> after this, really. [ cheers ] come to the studio. >> i can come with you? >> put you on a mic, do background vocals. >> i would die to do that, i would love to do that. >> no, it's april fools' day. [ laughter ] >> i wanted to ask you, this is "jimmy kimmel live." i thought we'd do one of the signature bits, "mean tweets." but it isn't really me. >> right. >> how about instead we do a thing called "sweet tweets." let's do it, here we go, "sweet tweets." justin timberlake, everybody! [ cheers ] >> i don't know what it is about jimmy fallon, man, i just like him, he seems like a cool uncle.
[ cheers and applause ] >> listen to justin timberlake's music makes you 100 times more handsome, and that's facts. that's facts! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy fallon is my favorite white person. [ cheers and applause ] >> how is justin timberlake legit good at everything? singing, dancing, acting, golf, and wearing jeans. [ cheers and applause ] >> wearing jeans. wearing jeans. wearing jeans. jimmy fallon really has the best [ bleep ] life. man is just a regular-ass dude who gets to do nothing but hang out and play games with celebrities. [ cheers and applause ]
>> i really do think justin timberlake has a big-ass [ bleep ]. [ cheers and applause ] what is going on? oh my god, dude, i'm so sorry. >> i -- yeah. "sweet tweets." wow. this is @fatefron. >> what does he say? >> i love that jimmy fallon and justin timberlake are actually best friends. [ cheers and applause ] >> that is so true. it's good because it's so true. >> it's real. >> you know what, band, can we stop for a sec? this is good but it is jimmy's show, let's do some mean tweets while we're here. [ cheers and applause ] >> don't get too mean, please. >> guillermo, you have a therapist on the line? >> yeah, yeah, yeah.
jimmy fallon seems like a really nice guy despite his cold, dead shark eyes. [ laughter and applause ] >> that's a good one. cold, dead shark eyes? all right. this says, i think your eyes are warm, thank you. >> embracing. >> that tweet was fro from @justintimberlake. >> yeah, that's weird. >> that's from you? all right, this one says, justin timberlake makes music for people who put their whole mouth around the water bottle rim. [ laughter and applause ] >> i don't know. as long as he has a sports bottle -- i don't know what it's for. i just figured out what bugs me about jimmy fallon on "the tonight show." it's that he looks just like a
skin n skinny box big boy. >> wasn't that bad. i think they're going to get worse. oh-oh. no -- >> that's not a good sign. >> no, it's just-- why does justin timberlake, like in general, why does he? [ laughter ] why do we let him? >> that one's from @jessicabiel. jimmy fallon seems like the type of guy to shove a bunch of kids out of the way so he can get the first slice of birthday cake. [ cheers and applause ] >> yeah, would do it. yeah. i like my cake. this one's rough. why does justin timberlake look like an unseasoned chicken? [ laughter and applause ] >> what? what? >> what? hee hee hee. >> closeup, let me get a
closeup. >> closeup of his eyes. >> unseasoned chicken? >> yeah. >> no, no. all right. i think this is the last one. >> okay, go for it. >> justin timberlake makes music for horny grandmas that watch "jimmy fallon." >> that's correct, why not? the one and only justin timberlake, everybody! when we come back, we're going to have fun with jimmy kimmel's aunt chippy, stick around, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ and ask your doctor about biktarvy. biktarvy is a complete, one-pill, once-a-day treatment used for h-i-v in certain adults. it's not a cure, but with one small pill, biktarvy fights h-i-v to help you get to and stay undetectable. that's when the amount of virus is so low it cannot be measured by a lab test. research shows people who take h-i-v treatment every day and get to and stay undetectable can no longer transmit h-i-v through sex. serious side effects can occur, including kidney problems and kidney failure.
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welcome back, everybody. our next guest is the beloved aunt of jimmy kimmel. she has no idea she's about to be interviewed by me until right now. everyone, please welcome aunt chippy, ladies and gentlemen! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> i'm jimmy. come on in, come on in. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> there, have a seat right there. hi, aunt which ipy. hi, nice to meet you, i'm jimmy fallon. [ laughter ] >> there's no end, there's no end. >> there's no end, it never ends! when am i going to die?
>> when am i going to die? >> looking for death. >> aunt chippy, that look. thank you for being here. i did not do this, your nephews set this up. jimmy kimmel is in new york hosting "the tonight show," and i'm taking over his show. >> i got a break. [ laughter ] i finally got lucky. look at this. oh my god. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> you look gorgeous. thank you so much. i know that they had you shooting a mother's day special or something? some bit? >> stupid [ bleep ]. >> yeah, yeah. [ laughter and applause ] it's not even a real bit, there is no mother's day bit. [ laughter ] they just had you here so that you would come on the show, whole thing was fake. >> are you serious? >> the whole day, sorry, yeah. >> they even canceled mother's day on me. >> yeah, mother's day. i want to --
>> no justice! cleto, i've got to talk to you! >> we do something on our show where it's called "settles it." we have someone settle all the biggest problems that are out in the world. i thought we could maybe play that game. it's time for "settles it with aunt chippy." here we go. ♪ aunt chippy settles it ♪ >> the photo, we like that. coke or pepsi? >> pepsi. >> really? >> oh, yeah. [ bleep ] likes coke but i like pepsi. >> l.a. or new york city? >> l.a. [ cheers and applause ] >> facebook or tiktok? >> the hell know what either one of those things are, i have no clue. tell them i don't do that [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] pick up the phone and call me. >> slots or poker? >> slots.
poker is too nerve-racking. it's like, i know -- if i make the mistake, i'm dead. >> yes. >> but on the slot machine, i can blame the slot machine. >> oysters or crab legs? >> crab legs. >> yeah, yeah. >> yeah. >> finally, best jimmy? >> what? what? >> best jimmy? >> oh my god, you ask me that with you in front of me? [ laughter ] i want to say you. i do. but i baptized that little bastard. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> all right, well, we knew your nephew wouldn't give you this. we'd like to give this to you here. guillermo, why don't you give this to her. this is nice fresh mother's day crab leg for you. [ applause ] aunt chippy, everybody.
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ we are here on the roof of the historic hollywood roosevelt hotel. in los angeles, california. performing "these are the ways" off their brand new album, out right now, "unlimited love" -- give it up for red hot chili peppers! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ make me a fist purple mountain road that i can't miss have we all had enough ♪ ♪ have we all had too much lost in a dream please step down from your bully machine ♪ ♪ can we all back it up can we all give it up
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welcome back to "jimmy kimmel live!" i just want to say, tonight has been so much fun. and i just wanted to take a moment to say thank you, so much, to everyone here at the show. everybody top to bottom. [ cheers and applause ] treated me great. you'd think that just swapping two guys named jimmy would be easy, but there is so much work that went into pulling this off. and at every step of the way, the staff and crew here at "jimmy kimmel live!" have been so helpful, so professional, so funny, so fun, so kind. working with all of you has been a privilege. jimmy, you've got a great thing going here, and it's been an honor to step into your shoes. i hope you had fun over at 30 rock. come back any time. my thanks to justin timberlake, aunt chippy, and red hot chili peppers! [ cheers and applause ] "nightline" is coming up next. and, as always, apologies to matt damon. good night, everybody. i'm keeping this. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
♪ tonight -- >> oh, wow! >> one slap. >> wow! >> millions of shock waves. why will smith says he's resigning from the academy. and the new details from the man in charge of the broadcast. >> my heart at that point was just in my stomach. because of everything about it and what it represented. >> what happened backstage in the minutes after? >> the lapd came and needed to talk to chris. >> so many seeing it so differently. >> this is on tv in a million places. >> the decades-long relationship between the three stars. jada appearing on chris' show. >> jada, jada, jada, jada! got the big hat for me. >> what a friend close to the comedian says about whether he knew about her alopecia. this special edition of "nightline," "the slap," will be
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