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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  May 18, 2022 11:35pm-12:37am PDT

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tcwahing. dan: for all of us here, we appreciate your time. immy kimmel live!" with gstue hosts j >> lou: from hollywood, it 's "jimmy kimmel veli!" with guest hosts jn ohmulaney and andy samberg. tonight -- cheryl hines and music from gang ofou yths. with cletond a the cletones. and now,oh jn mulaneany d andy sbeamrg! ch[ eers andpp auslae ] ♪ >> and wy:hoa, yes! alril ght! john anand dy: welce omto immy kiml melive!" >> joh in:'m your esgut host, hn mulan.ey >> and ay:nd i'm yr ouother
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gut eshost, an sdyamberg. cheers a andpplause ] [ rishm ot ] >> joh tn:hank youo smuch. it'sn ahonor ana d favor toe b here. [ laught ]er gui ess we sulhod explaiwhn y wee 'rhosting nitoght. member h jowimmy saihed dn't havcoe vid and enth he saide hhad covid? wellhe, was rig bhtoth times. [ laught ]er >> ay:nd that's ghrit. jimmy hacos ntractedov cid ain, forhe t second meti in the reweeks. we're thinking they oushld obably cnghae the na omef the showo t"jimmy mmkiel...ali?"ve [ uglahter ] [ chee arsnd applae us] it's a je.ok j>>ohn: it'a s joke. jimmy isur crently wtiaing linine at aurn gent carine reseda. [ lahtuger ] i was reflectgin backagste, it's paicrtularly s tadhat jimmy is ck becau hsee grew up as a sick kid in brooynkl. 'dhe lookut ohe t wind,ow see the other kids playing stickball. he'dry t to run t outhere. and s himama wou slday "jimy inkimmel! la[ ughter ]
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come-ans iide and keta-a you medici!"ne >>nd ay: are y douoing a o mnean owsh about jmyim? >>oh jn: sometnghi i'm worngki .on [ uglahter ] d anhe'd go,ma "ma, one da iy,'m gonnaav he my ownal tk show!" and thenhe, 'd host s hiown ttlile talk owsh in his omro thwi a hairbshru and a bchun of [ bleep do] lls as h aisudience. [ laugerht ] >> and dy:efinitela y one-man show here. >> jn:oh and he idsa, "i'm gnaon pranmyk whole filamy and i' ll pranmyk family d ani'll never sbeick, and'l il get adgrually mo preoliticalve or e thyears." [ lahtuger ] andy: ts hifeels ve ry primovised, ahye. [ chrsee and appuslae ] john:t' is setomhing i'm workgin on, lookg infor nancial ckbaers. laughter ] andy: wshe ould sayp ufront, mmjiy is doi fngine. ch[ eers andpp alause ] glador f that. but i hdoave to s, ayit's weird at we goast ked. siteems likhee has a f oewther peop ilen his li hfee could veha asketod do thisef bore he g ot to us,ig rht? s cousinal s. s aunt cpphiy. illermo. did ehen veask you, guiller?mo >> guierll: mono, he dn'idt. [ laugerht ] >>oh jn: are y mouad? do you resent atth we're
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hosting? >> guillmoer: no, i n'dot have pressurate all. likeou y guys. laughter ] >>oh jn: yeah,he tre is pressu.re make th ais bigger esprsure tusiation, wree' not only hostg,in we're ao lstwo of t he guestsn othe show. andy: tt'has right. ch[ eers andpp alause ] eing rig nhtow, buck ulep, ou're it n'sot goingo tget any bett.er [ laught ]er ming up misore of ts,hi but le fssine-tuned. [ uglahter ] >> john:nl oy on thishs ow could you get mpbued from esgut to st. [ uglahter ] that doe'tsn normallhay ppen, sainy a bed a bndreakfast. the ownedor esn't go"e, njoy your sy,ta fresh cisrosants in thmoe rning, a fndeel freeo t sleep thwi my wife." [ laugerht ] a>>ndy: the arere bed a nd brkfeaasts whe yreou cn do that. >>oh jn: where? >> and ny:apa! la[ ughter ] t buin all sioerusness, awere prayg infor jimmtoy get betr.te to the choatlic god d anthe
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wijesh god. laughter ] o gods tt haare notoourisly cereptive toug sgestions. [ lahtuger ] oh, and awelso want tedo plain whwey 're wearg inall is clutc"jh immy kiml melive" sw.ag [ lahtuger ] >> jn:oh in all nehosty, neierth e of us n cafit intour o old suits rit ghnow. we'vboe th put oa n bit of ight sin tcehis wholpae ndemic d quitti cngocaine tnghi. [ laught ]er >> ay:nd what? [ chee arsnd applae us] j>>ohn: buter he we are- - >> andy:id d you poi tnto guilrmleo? [ laugerht ] j>>ohn: he'mys sponsor. laughter ] >> ay:nd makes sseen. >>oh jn: we'reer he, we're hostg,in becauseha tt's show busine, ssbro. e day yodou n't haveo tdo anhiytng, thenou y get a tt,ex then y houave to dsoo mething. [ laught ]er >> and ty:hat was llwe said. >>oh jn: lucki flyor jimmyi ,
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was inhe t neighbooorhd when he called. i s waat hollyodwo tattoo yibung nia nja sworand d a bong. [ lahtuger ] >> and ay:nd i wascr aoss the streett amadame tsausud's wax museum. >> joh in:t's craz hy,e is there everday y. eyth open at- - >> ay:nd 10:00 a..m and i'alm ways the freirst thing thwi my coconia bs and paroloid mera. and jui st geek t.ou la[ ughter ] i li tkeaking piurctes of almyl favoteri celebs,nd a you kno w, next wee tk,hey're ueinvling a w ty burllre and thein le sttsar here! [ chrsee and appuslae ] jui st love arsting at a tllheir so, ftwaxy fac, esnot in a sexualay w. >> jn:oh but youre a arousedy b them? >>nd ay: i'm vy erhorny for them. [ laught ]er >> john: ts hiis weirdo tbe indog, it's keli we're aom cedy amte that hanes ver actulyal peorrfmed togeerth. wee 'vgot to furige out wh oatur dynamiisc . likere a we danngly over and mel bsgion? a>>ndy: i cl aldanny glerov! j>>ohn: of urcose.
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i'd vener make y boue gibson, atth would bine sane. i'll be l megibson, m i'not yched abt ouit but is t'an perfect tusiation. >> and ay:greed. laughter ] lo, okat the e ondf the da y, we're t nojimmy, b wute are here do whatim jmy does stbe and that -'s- j>>ohn: getov cid. andy: a endntertainou y! ch[ eers andpp alause ] >> jn:oh shiftintog pics. little pg luhere. dy and iav he a new lmfi micong out odin sney plunos t in eaters ts hiweek cald le"chip 'nda' le: resc rueangers." [ chee arsnd applae us] a>>ndy: thas t'right, is t'not tinheaters,ut b that waous r oichce. j>>ohn: we n'cat get in ttohe inans d outs b futinancial ly 'sit betrte f uors if it'nos t tinheaters. theate.rs [ laugerht ] a>>ndy: in e thfilm, jo phnlays ip, whicofh course sishort for chipnkmu. thats iwhat there catures a.re i aypl dale, wchhi is shorfot r leda earnhar, dtsr.
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cheers ] aftethr e late sckto car drir.ve rest in wepor, my ki.ng [ plapause ] >> jn:oh there'slr aeady a l ot eofxcitement. in fact,e wwere verhoy nored to see there e aralready coa uple chip 'n dalemp isoernators o ut onol hlywood bleouvard. e arthey on llbiy bob thornton's st?ar >>nd ay: i thi snko. sa tfeo say -- that's n tothe firstim te two rats hav[ e bleep ] tonop of billy bothb ornton. [ laugerht and appuslae ] >>nd ay: rightri, ght? weer we all thkiinng it. john: hd olon. whatig mht billyob b sound le ik when twoat rs are gog inat it on him. >> andy:h, o probablliy ke -- uh, , uhuh, don'sct ratch, d'ton scratch. i had th demo this eryve morning when ias w shootin"mg onster's ball." [ chee arsnd applae us]
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>> jn:oh billy b.ob biy llbob. a rastnge soulut b we loveis h simuc. la[ ughter ] yhanow, we'vhae d a lot fofun hostg inthis shoovw er the lt as femiw nutes. but 'vwee given sitome very seriouths ought. and it w'sith a hey avheart that we wldou like tonn aounce our retimerent from tela-night televionsi. laughter ] andy: y.es kni ow. we d'ton want coenrd to get l al the acti.on laughter ] sohi ts, indee wd,ill be o ur firsant d final owsh. look, gu.ys 's been wia ld ride. but rleaier todawey called up e abc brs asand toldhe tm that quit. late nhtig's been eagrt, but at thisoi pnt in oulir ves, we stju wa tnto focus oonur true sspaion -- pferossional ogboie bodiarng! [ laught ]er [ eechrs and alappuse ] j>>ohn: so yosanara, la te nit!gh lookth, is is oular st show. weon d't want gtoet too emotnaiol and ru tinhe show by ddsuenly cryg inin the nomologue. at's jim'smy territo.ry
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[ laught ]er a>>ndy: yea hh,e does tt.ha john: tbeo fair, trehe's a long le atnight tritadion. hnjony carsousn ed to co omeut d anweep lika e child. >> ay:nd did tharet ally hapn?pe >> jn:oh no, he ldhe it togeth.er andy: hwae s a profsiesonal. >>oh jn: he waa s professialon. >> ay:nd right, deunrstood. [ lahtuger ] >> joh on:ne more inthg before get on with the sh.ow do you, any of you guys, usehe t apnep xtdoor? ap[ plause ] 's that p apfor peop ilen your ighborho wodhere youan c like, commend pla umber, ohar rass a dowiw? [ lahtuger ] >> and by:ecause is t'a social medisia te, everdiy scussionn o therene ds up tuinrng into a big, stud piargument. and e thfine peoe plhere at "jim kmyimmel li" vehave asselembd hollywd'oos most belod veactors treo create a real argenumt from t ahepp in is, the rsfit ever itansllment of "nextordo theater." enjoy. [ chrsee and appuslae ] >> t fheollowingre psentatioisn a amdratic re-acentment ofn a acaltu discussn iobetween alre nehbigors on t nheextdoor p.ap th iiss a trueto sry. ♪ ♪
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>> w ias approheacd by a nccoernened ighbor tayod who told me thathe s caught e onof my next-door ngheibors maurstbating ioun r building's llway oner h rindog or cam. >> wel tl,he tenansht ould be put nonotice hean c't do th at ain pubc lispace. i meanif, necessary, poa lice report cou blde filed. d>>escripti oonf thgue y, white ma, ledark bro hwnair, short wl cut, ubchby. >> with atth descriponti, he's probably a really lolyne man. put a ne oton the g'suy door wi ath pic from the ring. we s yeeou, dudecu, t it out! o>>h, he kns owhe's seen. that's whaget ts him o.ff buy a c oanf wall spray. >> br easpray. >> thi ankbout it.
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if wasp or brea spray is so great,hy w isn a'tny law enforcement usg inthem? pepp serprays iyour best oichce. >> n wowasp sprahay s a dilascimer on it that 'sit a cre imto use iint anyan mner heotr than wt hait's for. this is stju the kind of stuff overpa lidawyers le ovto argue about cinourt. >> mt osof ulas wyers chgear by e quarter hour. but regalerdss, what c aan of pesticide aiclms is thlae w isn't necessilary acracute. t>>urn the ngri camera off d an take carofe business. sex offeernds need to beea dlt wi othn the sp.ot you can call themb aulance afterwdsar if you want. >> hd olhim d anplachie m under citizes n'arrest. then the policwie ll show .up >> juswet ar gloves. >> and a face ma.sk and actulyal, it's n aot joke, be careful. i'm resu what hean wts is contt.ac maybe jt usget sha ake weight for christmas?
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>>'v ie seen the b nitow. if it was, it was a tiny skeha weig.ht >> i'm cinomg late ttho is scussion. ybe somee onhas mentioned this. but semeisn condesired a biohazard, tt hashould g et soonmee's attention. >> youan c jerk ofalf l you want. juston d't dito in fronoft women and ilchdren. yifou want dtoo it in uryo hoe,us nobody cares. bonody wantsou y to get arrested r fothat. n't be ricidulous. [ laugerht ] cheers and applause ] >> and wy:e thoughitt would be pu rnkock if wsae t down. [ uglahter ]
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yeah, ts hiain't yo ur faerth's late-ghnit show! [ laugerht ] >> john:e whave a gatre show for you nitoght. cherylin hes is he.re [ cheersnd a applaus]e 'vwee got muc sifrom ganofg yout.hs ch[ eers andpp alause ] and enwh we comeac bk, i'm gngoi itonterviewne o of the arsts of "chip ' 'ndale: reuesc rangers," andyam sberg! >> ay:nd not a f!an >> joh wn:e'll be ghrit back. cheers a andpplause ] ♪ >> andy:ot n a fan! j>>ohn: we' blle right ckba.
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fanduel and draftkings, two out of state corporations making big promises to californians. what's the real math behind their ballot measure for online sports betting? 90% of profits go to the out of state corporations permanently. only eight and a half cents is left for the homeless. and in virginia, arizona, and other states, fanduel and draftkings use loopholes to pay far less than was promised. sound familiar? it should. it's another bad scheme for california. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> john: welcome back to "jimmy kimmel live!" i'm john mulaney. tonight, from "the flight attendant" on hbo max, cheryl hines is with us. [ cheers and applause ]
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then later from sydney, australia, john, hold up album. their album is called "angel in realtime." gang of youths from the mercedes eq stage. [ cheers and applause ] our first guest is a very funny emmy-winning gentleman who was born and raised in berkeley, california. [ cheers ] he spent two years at the university of santa cruz, alma mater of bradley knowles. however that didn't work out. eventually, he went on to graduate from nyu. you know him from seven seasons of "saturday night live," "brooklyn nine-nine," and movies like "palm springs," "that's my boy," "i love you, man," "nick and nora's infinite playlist," "hot rod," "hotel transylvania," "hotel transylvania 2," "hotel transylvania 3," "hotel transylvania 4" and "puppy!: a hotel transylvania short." [ laughter ] now we're both starring in "chip 'n dale: rescue rangers," it's on disney plus starting friday, not in theaters.
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please say hello to andy samberg! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> john: nice to see you, andy. >> you as well, john. >> john: we started together -- no, we didn't. [ laughter ] we started -- i started -- >> we started together -- moments ago during the monologue. >> john: yes. [ laughter ] you and i came up together today, doing this monologue. i started at "saturday night live," and you were already
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working there, the way i wanted to say that. >> sure. >> john: you were on the show seven seasons. >> i was. [ cheers and applause ] i think we can all agree that's a good amount of seasons. [ laughter ] >> john: that's a good -- that's a good chunk. working with you is always very fun. i'm nervous about this part of the show. [ laughter ] >> it's weird. >> john: yeah. i'm really, really in my head about this right now. >> i know. doing this has already made me realize i don't want to host late night. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> john: we had the same final show, my last show as a writer, your last as a cast member. >> that's right. >> john: but no one knew. >> no one knew. we talked to lorne ahead of time, and he convinced us to wait till the end of the season to announce.
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what happened, kristen wiig announced. colin jost wrote a whole sketch for her that ended the show where the rolling stones were singing to her and everyone danced with her one at a time. >> john: mick jagger sang "ruby tuesday" to her and danced her off the stage. >> me and john were both like, we're leaving too! [ laughter ] >> john: hey, everybody! one thing that's weird, i'm a writer, i don't need to announce i'm leaving. >> i clearly made a mistake. the weird thing is after the show, mick jagger found out we were leaving and cornered us and sang, just directly to us as [ laughter ] >> john: the weirdest thing in the world. >> it was weird. >> john: he pulled us into a dressing room. >> and sang "brown sugar." we were like, no! [ laughter ] >> john: like in a loud whisper. we would look down at the floor and he would tap us and go, "eyes, eyes." [ laughter ] >> even backstage, you might want to consider retiring this one. [ laughter ] >> john: we are both in "chip 'n' dale: rescue rangers." [ cheers and applause ] a film that is not -- yeah. a film that is not in theaters.
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but on disney plus. >> yeah. >> john: i believe when we were recording, not a session went by where you knew if you were playing chip or dale. [ laughter ] >> that's correct. thanks for bringing this up. i still am not totally sure if i'm chip or dale. [ laughter ] i think -- chip? >> john: me? >> which? >> john: i played chip. >> which makes me dale. >> john: yes. [ laughter ] my dad's name is chip, my brother's name is chip, so i tricked myself and said, my name's not chip, it's john, so i'm dale. [ laughter ] >> right. that makes perfect sense. >> john: yeah. [ laughter ] you're theodore, i think. >> i might be theodore. [ laughter ] >> john: you're going to -- you have a clip for us from the movie? >> yes. >> john: set this up for us. >> this is a "chip 'n' dale" avalanche, this show. this is a clip from the film.
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where chip and dale are being chased and they think they're cornered, and they realize there's only one way out. and you'll see the rest. >> john: all right, let's take a look. >> that's my personal bathroom! >> look for a way out of here. >> no, no! >> come back here! >> there's only one way, chip. >> no, that's disgusting. >> it's our only chance! live a little! >> live a little? you seem excited about this. >> don't, no, no! >> come on, chip! the water's fine! >> oh, dang it. okay. ♪ happy birthday to you ♪ >> argghh! >> no, no, i'm done! [ cheers and applause ] >> john: well. that gives new meaning to the phrase "royal flush." [ laughter ] thanks for being here, andy. >> what? >> john: "chip 'n' dale: rescue rangers" is on disney plus, not
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theaters, starting friday. and when we come back, andy is going to interview me, john mulaney, the other star of "chip 'n dale: rescue rangers," which is on disney plus starting friday. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ re america's doctors. dr. szilagyi: america's pediatricians. rn grant: we are america's nurses. dr. stewart: america's family physicians. dr. szilagyi: and we want you to know... rn grant: covid vaccines are safe and effective for kids. dr. harmon: my grandkids are vaccinated. dr. szilagyi: mine are too. dr. stewart: what's not safe... dr. harmon: is getting covid. rn grant: we want you to know - we trust the covid vaccines. dr. stewart: for ourselves. dr. harmon: for our patients. dr. szilagyi: for our kids. rn grant: so should you. wait, you got pickles. you hate pickles. yeah, but you don't. buy one favorite like a quarter pounder and get another for just a buck right now at mcdonald's. kenan! and get another for just a buck hey kenan! looking good.
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now with speeds up to 5-gigs. limited availability. ♪music playing♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ nothing brings the pack together like a trip to great wolf lodge. now open in northern california. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> andy: welcome back to "jimmy kimmel live!" i'm andy samberg. my first guest is a dapper emmy-winning funnyman, born and raised in chicago, illinois, to a father named chip and a mother named ellen. he attended georgetown university where he studied
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english literature. and then went on to work on "saturday night live," do five comedy specials, and other projects like "big mouth," "crashing," "dickinson," "spider-man: into the spider-verse," "kroll show," "the jim gaffigan show," this show, his own show, an episode of "portlandia," and an unaired reality show pilot called "balls of steel." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] now he's giving voice to one of the titular chipmunks in "chip 'n' dale: rescue rangers." watch it on disney plus, not in theaters, starting friday. please welcome john mulaney. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you.
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>> andy: to be clear, you threw one shirt into the audience then gave one to the band? >> incorrect. i threw one roll of paper towels. [ laughter ] who has the lucky roll? yes, all right, congratulations. [ cheers and applause ] and then i wish you hadn't called that out, cleto discreetly asked me for a shirt during the break and i tried to hand one off to him when no one was looking and you just blew up our spot on tv. [ laughter ] >> andy: don't i feel like a heel! >> we're having fun. >> andy: welcome to the show. >> thanks for having me, andy. [ cheers and applause ] >> andy: we were really expecting to just be guests like a few hours ago. [ laughter ] but here we are, making actual television that is going to air on television. [ laughter ] >> yeah. this is the only thing on abc right now. [ laughter ] there's nothing else. >> andy: we're ruining it! yes! [ cheers and applause ]
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now john, i haven't seen you in person since you became a father. congratulations. >> oh, thank you very much. [ cheers and applause ] yes. >> andy: your son's name is malcolm? >> yes, i have a 5 1/2-month-old son named malcolm. >> andy: wonderful. >> i have a son, i have an heir to all of this, the sweatshirt, everything. [ laughter ] >> andy: is he eating yet, 5 months? >> yes, we just introduced solid foods on monday. we spoke to our pediatrician. she said that avocado some people do, peanut butter. we gave my son malcolm peanut butter that was gifted to us from jimmy kimmel of "jimmy kimmel live." [ laughter ] >> andy: interesting. >> yes. i think we have a photo of him getting his first little taste. >> andy: let's get a peek. what's that? [ laughter ] >> that's him pushing away the spoon when he found out the man who gave us the peanut butter is riddled with covid.
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[ laughter ] [ applause ] >> andy: understood. i thought you were saying, that's him pushing away the spoon, i'm the other guy. [ laughter ] >> i'm the guy in the dodgers hat. you know me with my dodgers. >> andy: you love them dodgers. >> yeah. [ cheers ] >> andy: here's something fun. >> for sure. >> andy: we've got to bring it back to "chip 'n' dale." >> obvs. >> andy: we were given international posters. chip 'n' dale internationally are called different things everywhere. >> we have different names in different countries. >> andy: i have not seen these but i think it would be fun to take a peek, see what we've got. >> yes, let's take a look. >> andy: this is finland. >> where we are -- tikun and takun? [ laughter ] >> that's the finnish name. >> andy: germany. >> chip and chap. [ laughter ] we should point out these gentlemen's photos, these are the actors doing our characters in germany. >> andy: yeah. >> that's also a before and
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after of us from the pandemic. [ laughter ] >> andy: that and the outfits. do we have any more? >> you know what's weird? tikun and takun, chip and chap -- what's this one? >> andy: this is italy. cip and chop. than. >> i'm not touching that. [ laughter ] >> andy: much love, much love. >> sweden. piff and puff? >> andy: we got a little piff and puff in the red light district, if you know what i mean. [ laughter ] anyway, they said that might be fun. >> yeah. >> andy: turned out it was. >> yeah. [ cheers and applause ] looks like that made you clap and clap. [ laughter ] >> andy: "clap 'n' clap." i know you brought a clip?
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>> yes. this is a chip from "chip 'n' dale: rescue rangers" which this friday is going to premiere on disney plus, not in any theaters whatsoever. [ laughter ] >> andy: for financial reasons. you want to set up the clip? >> yes. being a rescue ranger is no walk in the park all the time. in this scene, chip and dale are cornered in a room. [ laughter ] and they, you know, there's bad guys on the run, there's only one way to get out. [ laughter ] >> andy: let's take a look. >> hey, that's my personal bathroom! >> look for a way out of here. >> no, no! >> there's only one way, chip. >> no, that's disgusting. >> it's our only chance, live a little. >> live a little? you seem excited about this. >> don't, no -- oh! >> come on, chip! the water's fine! >> oh, dang it. okay. ♪ happy birthday to you ♪ >> argghhh! no, no -- i'm done.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> andy: yeah. well. that certainly gives new meaning to the term "royal flush." [ laughter ] >> you are correct there. all right, all right, all right. >> andy: for real, speaking of chip 'n' dale, we have something very exciting. >> speaking of chip 'n' dale? it's all we're doing. [ laughter ] >> andy: very exciting. as you know, the premiere for "chip 'n' dale" is happening tonight. [ cheers and applause ] yeah. next door to where we are right now. and as a very special treat, disney and the jimmy kimmel show would like to invite all of you! >> yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> andy: so call the babysitter and pay them more! [ cheers ] okay. john, i want to thank you for being here. and in case we haven't mentioned it, "chip 'n' dale: rescue
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rangers," is on disney plus, not in theaters, starting friday. we'll be right back with cheryl hines! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ you know that show i was telling you about? yeah i was so close to the stage when i saw her and she... she pulled me in. wasn't expecting that. it was literally... literally the greatest thing i've ever seen... scene... it was such a scene, but i looked pretty hot... so hot. i mean the look on his face... face it! you really missed out on the best time... time of our lives. you really had to be there.
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if only it was this easy for us.
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>> lou: and now "jimmy kimmel live's" unfortunate name of the night. >> interesting story. this one time i woke up to a really long message, random message from a stranger, asking what i could do to get their uncle out of federal prison.
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unfortunately, for this person, i am the jared kushner that will sell you some bagels, not the jared kushner that will get you out of prison. >> lou: we're still going to need you to testify in front of the january 6th committee. bagel, buy one favorite like a big mac and get another for just a buck right now at mcdonald's.
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♪ it's a lovely day today ♪ and get another for just a ♪ so whatever you've got to do ♪ ♪ you've got a lovely day to do it in, that's true ♪ [ chuckling ] ♪ and i hope whatever you've got to do ♪ ♪ is something that... ♪ [ music stops ] [ beeping ] cars built with safety in mind, even for those guys. the volkswagen atlas with standard front assist. ♪ ♪
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porationsy for what you need. an online sports betting plan they call "solutions for the homeless". really? the corporations take 90 percent of the profits. and using loopholes they wrote, they'd take even more. the corporations' own promotional costs, like free bets, taken from the homeless funds. and they'd get a refund on their $100 million license fee, taken from homeless funds, too. these guys didn't write a plan for the homeless. they wrote it for themselves.
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> john and andy: welcome back. [ laughter ] >> andy: music from gang of youths is on the way. >> john: gang of youths, that name's not gonna work in a few years. >> andy: guess they don't plan on having a long career. >> john: be careful, gang of youths. same thing happened to kid 'n play. >> andy: now they're called man 'n work. [ laughter and applause ] you know our next guest from her 11 seasons on "curb your enthusiasm," and as luna, co-starring with me, i played ham, but you knew that, in the animated opus "space chimps."
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>> john: and you know her from "bad moms christmas" kathryn hahn. kathryn hahn was also in "spider-man: into the spider-verse" so i also have a connection with her, andy. [ laughter ] >> andy: you can currently see her co-star alongside kaley cuoco in season two of "the flight attendant." you can watch the newest episode tomorrow on hbo max. please welcome cheryl hines. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> john: cheryl hines, welcome to the show. >> well, thank you. it's going so smoothly. [ laughter ]
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>> andy: can't tell if you're kidding but i'll take it. [ laughter ] >> john: a little bird told me you two were in a film called "space chimps" together? >> that's true. >> andy: a lot of people don't know this, a film that ran out of money while they were making it and was put out anyway. [ laughter ] >> you're welcome, world. >> andy: you're welcome, world! >> john: who could forget the tag, "on july 18th, go bananas"? i remember, two weeks after the fourth of july, we absolutely went bananas. [ laughter ] >> andy: we have so much to talk about. let's start with "space chimps." [ laughter ] how often do fans want to talk to you about being in "space chimps" and playing luna? >> not a lot. >> andy: okay. >> not that often. never. [ laughter ] >> john: you did "space chimps 2." >> i did. >> john: you did not. >> andy: yeah, wasn't asked back. [ laughter ] >> john: that's got to sting a
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little. >> andy: it stang. >> that hurts. >> john: you were married to robert kennedy jr.? >> yes. >> john: that's really cool. >> andy: agreed. >> john: that's a big deal. not to you, he's just a person, but to me that's a really good deal. so like -- you have to -- you hang out with all the kennedys and stuff? [ laughter ] because he has six children? >> i'm going to say yes. yes, he has six children. so i have 6 stepchildren. so yeah, i hang out with the kennedys. because they're -- >> john: they're your stepchildren. but is it like -- do they all for real play touch football and stuff? [ laughter ] >> there are a lot of sports. there's a lot of football. [ laughter ] >> john: that's got to be a lot. >> andy: nice sweaters. >> a lot of sweaters, a lot of sailing, boating. >> john: a lot of sailing. >> yes. >> john: a lot of worn-in, nice -- like a vineyard vines t-shirt. >> andy: that's how i imagined! >> john: how you imagined it.
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>> that's it, right. >> john: reading in "us weekly" 25 things you don't know about me, a piece that was done on you. >> i love "us weekly." >> andy: john and i love to flip through "us." [ laughter ] the things you don't know about me celeb page is our fave. >> john: other than "loose talk," which is up front. [ laughter ] we love that page. >> yeah. >> john: item number 23 on your 25 things is a quote. i drank lemonade with fidel castro at his house. >> that's true. >> john: that is true? >> yes. >> john: come on. [ laughter ] how did that happen, cheryl hines? >> we went to cuba. that was probably, i don't know, ten years ago. and while we were there, my husband wanted to see if we could visit with mr. castro. >> andy: yeah, you know. >> then when we got to the hotel, there was a guy in a white linen suit with a hat that said "el presidente will see you."
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they came and picked us up in a van. >> john: in a van? >> andy: okay. nice vans? >> it was a nice van but it was also, like, whoa. what's happening? so we -- we got to his house. and he was, you know, he was wearing a track suit. like you guys. [ laughter ] a lot like you guys. >> andy: we're a lot like fidel castro. [ laughter ] >> john: a couple of clean-shaven fidels. >> yes. we sat down. bobby and el presidente spoke in spanish. for a while. and we -- i guess they talked about assassination attempts. >> john: right. >> who doesn't while you're drinking lemonade? >> john: as one does. >> andy: always a good ice breaker with a dictator. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> john: el presidente, sorry. i don't know if that's -- well,
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the network will decide if you can call castro a dictator. [ laughter ] well, i don't know. >> i know, is that a -- >> john: i have no idea, i've never done this. jimmy's got to worry about this every night. [ laughter ] >> every night, yeah. >> john: what was he like? was he -- did he have a nice, sweet side? >> he was -- he was sweet. and it was the best lemonade i've ever had. honestly, i don't know what was in it, but it was fantastic. [ laughter ] >> john: the cia found out he does two crystal light packets. that's the secret to that. [ laughter ] >> very good. it was very good. >> andy: when you were at dinner, did he ask about "space chimps"? [ laughter ] do you feel like you -- like he'd seen it yet? >> he did not mention "space chimps." which is so sad. >> andy: yeah. >> really weird. >> andy: i don't care if he did. [ laughter ] >> john: he mentioned "space chimps 2." [ laughter and applause ]
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>> john: "flight attendant." >> yes? >> john: sorry to change the topic. >> that's what you have to do. >> john: is this going okay? the interview? >> very pleasant. >> john: good, that's pretty good. >> andy: in my head i was like, we're [ bleep ] the bed! [ laughter ] >> john: i think she'd be straight up with us if this was going badly. you'd tell us if it was going badly. "flight attendant." >> yes? >> john: you star with kaley cuoco. the newest episode on hbo max tomorrow. you play a cia agent? >> yes. >> john: is that a spoiler? >> no, you can. you can say that. people know. but there is a lot of mystery and murder, you know. storylines that you can't talk about that people are dying to know about. it's exciting. it's the complete opposite of "curb your enthusiasm." [ laughter ]
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"flight attendant," you're doing the show, everybody's beautiful on the show. they're shooting in iceland, berlin. you know, everything about it is beautiful. and every word is important, you know? did you go with them? or for them? you know. then "curb" is like -- larry and the crew. >> john: yeah. >> in the living room with all the bright lights on, talking about loose mints in his pocket or something. [ laughter ] >> john: it's people shouting in one of their homes. >> yes, that's it. that's it. the complete opposite. [ laughter ] >> john: thank you, cheryl. watch the newest episode of "the flight attendant" tomorrow on hbo max. >> john and andy: we'll be right back with music from gang of youths. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> lou: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by the "s" class from mercedes-benz.
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>> lou: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by >> lou: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes e-q. all electric, all mercedes.
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>> john: that is all the time we have, and what a magical evening it was. i'd like to thank jimmy kimmel, cheryl hines, and my dear friend, andy samberg. anyone you want to thank, andy? >> andy: no. >> john: okay. [ laughter ] "nightline" is next, but first, holds up album. their album is called "angel in realtime." here with the song "forbearance," gang of youths! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ it was a gracious old sunshine but it was wasted on me ♪ ♪ i was plastered and counting the cop cars out right in front of me ♪ ♪ i was a troublesome young kid i was a big piece of it ♪ ♪ but i'm hoping that them days in the hospice atoned for some of it ♪ ♪ if the whole thing was fair it would be me that was fighting for air ♪
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♪ but it's you in the bed ♪ ♪ and it's so routine that it just threw me i guess ♪ ♪ but in the cosmic ballet you can't just do what you ♪ ♪ messed up again and the world is not done with me yet ♪ ♪ was in a dulcimer mood ooh around the fourth day of june ♪ ♪ i accounted for the miles of attention that i got but didn't want nor choose ♪ ♪ and on the day when i left ooh ♪ ♪ when i said i'd be back i am sorry ♪ ♪ and your face when you saw me it was a fate worse than death ♪ ♪ i just wish that i'd said oohh ♪ ♪ something more than i'd be back in ten but if i went
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there in time ♪ ♪ i'd take a second to go and kiss you goodbye ♪ ♪ so i'll stay by the bed oohh ♪ ♪ and be some respite for you 'til the end and the world is not done with me yet ♪ ♪ rise and rise you great old thing ♪ ♪ oh oh rise and rise and shine over me ♪ ♪ ♪ all that i wanted was something to save me and the carnival's over the ashtrays are empty ♪ ♪ it's hardly a place i can look to for safety ♪
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♪ was a high holy weekend the ones you get things for free at the counter ♪ ♪ and i'm crying alone now cause i didn't want them to see ♪ ♪ i fell asleep in the bathtub but i woke up in the street ♪ ♪ i'm a bastion of unwanted attention that i couldn't wait to leave ♪ ♪ if the whole thing was fair it would be me that was fighting for air ♪ ♪ it made sense in my head but i'm still the a-hole down here nonetheless ♪ ♪ in the comedown affray i came to fix what ♪ ♪ i messed up today cause the world is not done with me ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ this is "nightline." >> tonight, buffalo's pain. the chilling new details emerging about the alleged supermarket shooter as a community mourns the lives lost. >> it's like a collective mourning right now. everybody kind of knew somebody. >> the families and their pain. >> and we're going to miss her. but we're going to honor her. >> as new york's governor takes action against gun violence. >> and i hope to god that this is the wakeup call that this country has needed. plus cooking for a cause. inside the kitchen of one of the nation's hottest chefs. serving up cuisine born of culture and lived experience. >> what you eat in here is chow fan.

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