tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC May 30, 2022 11:35pm-12:37am PDT
the stupid fake idea. i know you'd rather spend your days doing impressions of "the simpsons" and googling stepmom porn. but at some point -- [ laughter ] -- you might have to get down to it and do your job and doors ain't it. meanwhile, the attorney general in texas, his plan is to arm teachers. which what a great idea. mrs. antonoff has an ar-15. don't worry, everybody. [ laughter ] it's almost like they're joking, these people. tucker carlson did his usual "could it be that" routine in an attempt to somehow connect the shooting to the pandemic. >> oh, so the lockdowns dramatically increase the incidence of mental illness among young people, in ten days we've seen two mass shootings by mentally ill young people, could there be a connection? now, that's not finger pointing, that's not to blame fauci for yesterday's shooting, we're not that low, we're not joe biden. >> jimmy: yeah, you sure aren't. [ laughter ] more of a joe goebbels is what you are. ted cruz is blaming the doors, tucker carlson is blaming the
fact that we're indoors. kids are turning gay from green m&ms. [ laughter ] the only way these guys are going to demand action is if a gender-neutral mr. potato head storms the school. then it will be a big problem. [ laughter ] of course, there were also a lot of mass shootings before the covid lockdown. but that doesn't fit into the narrative. and you're not going to get much more from people like lindsey graham. lindsey graham has been in washington for 27 years, and he still can't quite put his finger on this one. >> why do you think that this country is the only country in the world that constantly has mass shootings like this and elementary school shootings? >> yeah, well, we've had, you know -- one's too many. i don't have -- you know, i don't have the answers to all these -- i don't know why anybody would shoot their grandmother in their face, in her face, get in a car, and go to a school and kill a bunch of kids. i don't know. that is beyond my ability to understand. >> jimmy: well, then maybe we
need to get someone in the senate who does have the ability to understand. because you obviously aren't capable -- [ cheers and applause ] -- of thinking this through, over and over and over again. here's the thing. i am not allowed to fish without a license. it shouldn't be easier to get an ar-15 than a rainbow trout. [ cheers and applause ] and some of the -- you know, there was a big primary election in georgia on tuesday where marjorie taylor greene won her primary. should i hold for applause? no? okay. [ laughter ] and after a long and contentious primary election, klan mom celebrated and rallied her many faithful supporters with an inspiring speech. >> there is a storm brewing in our nation today. hail and thunder are coming for the elites who despise us and who want us to eat the bugs, drink the poop water, and live in the pods, and own nothing, yet somehow be happy. i'm sorry, do any of you want
that future? no! so bill gates. no. >> jimmy: i don't want to drink the poop water. she doesn't want to drink the poop water. she likes to eat it straight. you know? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] by the way, i was like, what is she talking about? the "poop water" she is talking about is a project funded by bill gates to help solve the global water shortage. it's called the omni processor, and it does, in fact, make sewage water safe for human beings to drink. it's a monumental scientific achievement, which is of course why she's against it. they should really take her toilet away. [ laughter ] she doesn't deserve it. [ cheers and applause ] if marjorie taylor greene were around in the 1800s, she'd be like "i'm sorry, but i don't want some indoor wet bucket gulpin' up my doodies and make." [ laughter ] whoever writes her speeches is doing a -- [ laughter ] a hell of a job. [ applause ]
all right, yeah. i wanted to work the word "doodies" in, it's been a hard week. [ laughter ] i want you to watch her son who will be on the far right of the screen here. because i think he might be as tired of her as the rest of us are. >> one way i've done that is by calling for roll call votes. and they decide whether to take it out and strangle it. socialist monetary policy. endless wars and nation-building across the world. not the interests of corporate donors. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you've got to be careful there, son. that's how you wind up eating a bug and having to wash it down with poop water. [ applause ] now marjorie will move on to the general election, where she's heavily favored to win, it's a very republican district, which means two more years of that nonsense. and another up-and-coming einstein, former football star herschel walker, who won the georgia republican primary for senate and beamed in this morning with "fox & friends" to
share his well-formed thoughts on how to prevent another deadly shooting. >> what we need to do is look into the person that did the shooting. the same thing that's happened, whether it was in texas, in new york, in chicago, the thing happened in buffalo. you know, people see that. it's a person wielding that weapon. you know, cain killed abel. that's a problem that we have. and i said, what we need to do is look into how we can stop those things. you know, they talked about doing a disinformation. what about getting a department that can look at young men that's looking at -- or women looking at just social media? what about doing that? looking into things like that. and we could stop that that way. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: did he play without a helmet? [ laughter and applause ] that was quite a journey through the mind he took us on. [ laughter ]
so we can stop doing a disinformation and get a department of looking into these men that's looking at women. [ laughter ] and we should be fine. the guy who endorsed herschel walker for senate is having a bad day. an appeals court in new york ruled that donald, ivanka, and don jr., the trumps, have to sit for depositions as part of the state investigation into their family business. the state didn't call eric. they actually called eric once and they decided not to do it again, because when eric trump pleads the fifth, he pleads "this many." [ laughter ] and it's annoying. so they said, we're going to leave him out of this one. [ applause ] but they did summon don and ivanka and don jr. do you know you can summon don jr. at home just by saying the words "monster energy drink" three times in a mirror. he will appear. [ laughter ] you know, i mentioned the other night that in her new book, former trump adviser kellyanne conway claims she was one of the only people who told trump he
lost to joe biden. and of course, trump says she's lying. he posted on truth social. i'm guessing you missed it because no one's on it. [ laughter ] but he posted -- "kellyanne conway never told me that she thought we lost the election. if she had, i wouldn't have dealt with her any longer. she would have been wrong. could go back to her crazy husband. writing books can make people say some very strange things. i wonder why?" i don't know. maybe ask the author of "think big and kick ass." he might have an answer for you. [ applause ] we are also getting more details about what tannibal lecter was doing during the riot on january 6th. according to "the new york times," while his supporters were running around the capitol yelling "hang mike pence!" looking for mike pence because he wouldn't overturn the election, trump's former chief of staff, mark meadows, informed his colleagues that trump agreed with that statement. in fairness, "the times" also noted that "it is not clear what tone mr. trump was said to have used" when agreeing with that.
maybe he was just joshing, you know, about hanging his vice president. [ laughter ] we've all done it, don't act like -- [ laughter ] let me go out on a limb and guess trump's tone. i'm guessing it was "clapping and cheering with chunks of an arby's beef and cheddar flying out of his mouth." [ laughter ] the january 6th committee has also gathered testimony that says that mark meadows used the fireplace in his office to burn documents. meadows was burning documents and trump was flushing them down the toilet. all perfectly normal white house behavior. [ laughter ] no crimes committed there whatsoever. [ cheers and applause ] and while trump plays golf at mar-a-lago, there are plenty of crimes happening in his home state, where once again it is time for a new installment of "this week in florida." ♪ >> this is going to be mcinteresting. look right here. she's a pretty lady. but she was mcmad.
there was no calming her down. she was in a mcrage. i don't know, she was like two fries short of a happy meal. she acted like a mcnut. which you know what she ended up? a mcburglar. she managed to get herself into a lot of mctrouble. and you can make money just by helping us find this lady who went mccrazy for no mcreason. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: what the mc[ bleep ]? [ laughter ] i'd love to have been in the brainstorming session when that idea got cooked up and approved. mcdonald's, by the way, is now in business with kanye west. for real. i guess they saw all his social media posts threatening to kill pete davidson and they're like, maybe he could do that for us. look out, burger king. [ laughter ] kanye has so much beef, they're turning him into big macs now.
[ laughter ] he announced on instagram that heis helping to "reimagine mcdonald's packaging." this is one of the packages he's reimagined. which it kind of looks like -- i don't know. like a burger being held hostage in dexter's kill room. [ laughter ] i don't know that the food at mcdonalds needs new packaging. what kanye should be working on is this guy. he could use a wardrobe update. something like this! right? [ laughter ] from mayor mcyeez. one more thing before we continue. it is thursday night which means it's time to bleep and blur the big tv moments of the week whether they need it or not. it's "this week in unnecessary censorship." [ cheers and applause ] >> answers from republicans, from our former senator to our current governor, is to [ bleep ] me instead of [ bleep ]ing the problems that are [ bleep ]ing georgia. >> we have breaking news from president biden this morning. at a press conference in tokyo,
he appeared to [ bleep ] a big [ bleep ]. >> based on all of this, is it mostly men involved in these intimate relations who are more likely to [ bleep ] [ bleep ] monkeypox? >> we did a lot of work when i was secretary of state. we put a lot of [ bleep ] [ bleep ] to the taiwanese. >> besides the acting and the relationships and the comedy and the drama of this, the [ bleep ] scenes that you guys are in, you can't fake that. >> no. >> i grew up in alabama, brother. i know how to [ bleep ] a horse. >> can i ask, when did you last [ bleep ] putin? >> a while ago. i don't know. >> you didn't think i would sit quietly forever. are you ready? [ bleep ] the [ bleep ]. >> and it's amy. >> cactus [ bleep ]ers. >> you got it. ♪ good night ladies we're going to [ bleep ] you now ♪ [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right. we've got a good show for you tonight.
the miz is with us. music from sebastian yatra. we'll be back with rose byrne. so stick around. [ cheers and applause ] >> announcer: abc's "jimmy kimmel live," brought to you by hotels.com. i am a business hotel. i eat, sleep, and breathe efficiency. i expect my bed sheets to be as crisp as my spreadsheets. i'm looking for someone who appreciates high rois and even higher rpms. must like hard work, punctuality, and a good firm handshake. if you're someone who likes earning rewards as much as earnings reports, i would be honored to be your perfect somewhere. ♪ ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi there. tonight, from "miz and mrs.," he is a two-time wwe wrestling champion, the miz is with us. then later, a multi-platinum artist from medellin. his album is called "dharma." sebastian yatra from the mercedes eq stage. you can see sebastian on the dharma tour -- i wonder if that's related to "lost"? starting august 25th in sugarland, texas. go check him out there. next week, we've got new shows with queen latifah and bill
burr. pusha t and trixie mattel with shakey graves. and we'll also be in primetime for our annual before and after the nba finals shows. "jimmy kimmel live game night." featuring adam sandler, chris evans, chris pratt, samuel l. jackson, steve martin, martin short, selena gomez, and more. as if we needed more. [ cheers and applause ] we don't need more and yet we're going to give you that, more. our first guest tonight is a very talented woman who comes from the land down under. you know her from "bridesmaids" and "neighbors" and now she gets physical again on "physical." season 2 premieres one week from friday on apple tv plus. please say hello to rose byrne. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> hi, nice to see you. > jimmy: how are you? it's like you're wearing your dad's coat or something. [ laughter ]
>> i know, i'm trying to look like david byrne in 1984, that kind of thing. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> that's what i'm going for. >> jimmy: well, you look great. whatever the look it is, it's fantastic. >> it's roomy, really roomy. >> jimmy: it is roomy. yeah. might want to get that tailored a little bit. but who am i to tell you -- >> i know, i know. but do i? look at this fabric, i can hide. >> jimmy: it's very good to see you. do you go back home to australia a lot? or are you mostly here? >> we live in new york, but we went back during the first year of the pandemic. that first fabulous year. we went back, bobby shot "nine perfect strangers," my partner. >> jimmy: bobby canavale, who is a wonderful guy. who i don't know well but i always like him when i see him. >> yes. he's a gem. he's a gem. we were back there then for a good period of time, four months, which was lovely. >> jimmy: they really locked things down there. >> yeah, pretty strict, yeah. >> jimmy: the only people they let in was you guys really. [ laughter ] your family owns a farm of some kind, right?
>> yes, yes, they have a farm in tasmania. they have a garlic farm. >> jimmy: so bobby is italian and cuban, right? >> yeah, his mom is from cuba, yeah. >> jimmy: is his italian side of the family excited about the garlic farm? [ laughter ] i think we would be. >> well, not really, actually. >> jimmy: not really? >> i don't know exactly. but yeah, no, his mom is great. she's lovely, isabel. she doesn't really understand much of what i -- sometimes. >> jimmy: oh, because of the accent? >> yeah. >> jimmy: does she have an accent? >> yeah. >> jimmy: then you have an accent? >> i do. do i? do i have an accent? [ laughter ] little bit? > jimmy: and then -- that's interesting. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i would imagine to his mom we all have an accent, right? >> yeah, she's been here for a while. 50 years. >> jimmy: oh, so you're saying she should understand what you're saying. >> no, she does. [ laughter ] she does, it's just if i'm talking really fast she'll be like, "eh, what, what did you say?" but bobby doesn't understand what i say. we've been for ten years -- >> jimmy: bobby, does he act as the translator between you?
>> he'll just be like "babe, talk slower." i'll say to bobby, "can you pass me" the -- "chuck us me sunnies" or something. he'll be, "what did you say?" what? >> jimmy: what is a sunny? >> chuck us me sunnies? >> jimmy: yeah. now i don't understand what you're saying. [ laughter ] all of a sudden i'm on their side. what is that? what does that mean? >> "throw me my sunglasses." >> jimmy: your sunglasses are sunnies? i've never heard that before. >> you haven't heard that one? >> jimmy: no. have we heard of that? [ audience responds ] now we've started a fight in the audience. [ laughter ] i wanted to mention this. i think this is kind of crazy. first of all, it's the 20-year anniversary of "star wars episode 2: attack of the clones." you were in this movie. there you are right there. [ cheers and applause ] with natalie portman and jar jar binks.
is he a cool guy? >> what happened to this guy? >> jimmy: well, he got poked in the eye, i guess, i don't know. [ laughter ] do you remember -- what do you remember about making this movie? >> well, it was -- it was amazing. it was shot in australia. it was many years ago. i look so serious, don't i? >> jimmy: well, sure, you were in "star wars," yeah. >> very dramatic. and it was like -- yeah, wild. i was natalie's handmaiden. yeah, it was amazing. >> jimmy: were you like a "star wars" person? >> i -- i'm not -- >> jimmy: no. [ laughter ] it's okay. have you shown this -- you have two young kids. >> don't tell anybody that. >> jimmy: how old are your kids? >> my children are 6 and 4. we just saw -- bobby recently showed them the first "star wars." which i didn't know i was in a prequel. >> jimmy: what do you mean you didn't know that you were in a prequel? >> i thought the "star wars" enterprise started from, you know, the princess leia.
>> jimmy: wait a minute. up until when you didn't know this? [ laughter ] >> last week. last week. >> jimmy: last week, you found out -- >> i'm going to show them "star wars," watch the thing. he's putting on the one with jar jar binks. then i was like why aren't you showing them the one with princess leia? he's like, because i'm starting from the beginning. i was like, isn't that the beginning? he said, no, that's -- no, that's the middle. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you were in this movie. >> i was. and i didn't know it was the prequel. maybe at the time i did. >> jimmy: just now, 20 years later, found out that it was a prequel? >> didn't know it was a prequel. [ laughter ] and now i'm telling this story. yeah, i know. >> jimmy: wow. it's almost like you were raised on a garlic farm. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> but i wasn't. but i wasn't. i wasn't raised on a garlic farm. i'm from the city. i just forgot. [ laughter ] i think i forgot. >> jimmy: can we blame -- >> but it is a bit confusing because -- >> jimmy: no. [ laughter ] >> no? it's a little bit confusing. the middle one is like the old
fashioned one. you think that was made -- like i'm just going chronologically in life. >> jimmy: i could see how it would be confusing maybe to bobby's mom, who's older, and from cuba. but for somebody who was actually in the movie, no. [ laughter ] >> i am a good actress, i promise you. >> jimmy: you're a very good actress, it turns out. [ cheers and applause ] rose byrne is here. her show is called "physical." we'll be right back. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ the all-new tundra. toyota. let's go places.
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okay, let's try this one more time. hi! yeah, sheila rubin is the name. oh, you've already heard of me? you're kidding. i had no idea anybody knew who i was. embarrassing. i'm just a fitness instructor, but i love what i do. the dress? oh, i've had it forever. it's actually -- it's really comfortable. it's this piece -- [ knocking ] just a second! all right, can't hide in here all night. need to get out there, give it a
spin. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we are back with rose byrne. that is "physical." season 2 premieres a week from friday on apple tv plus. that's a really good show. and it's fun to watch. i love that '80s stuff. >> yeah. >> jimmy: that era. you play an aerobics instructor. >> i do, i play sheila rubin, an aspiring aerobics instructor. it really looks at like the beginning of the self-help movement and wellness movement, which is like obviously now so flooded with a million apps and websites from goop to companies like spanx or whatever. >> jimmy: yeah. >> this is sort of looking at that time -- >> jimmy: used to be just vhs tapes, basically. >> exactly. women didn't even have workout gear, they would make their own leotards. make their own, you know -- >> jimmy: i do that, actually. [ laughter ] >> yeah get that right fit. >> jimmy: sit down with my singer and whip one out. i didn't know that, they would make their own leotards? >> it was just ballet wear, or they would make it themselves. there was no athleisure and stuff like that. sheila is a burgeoning -- she
wants to start her brand as a wellness -- you know. >> jimmy: jane fonda was the first one, right? >> she was one, jenny craig was another huge one. >> jimmy: she had a -- >> she was the diet. >> jimmy: she had the diet, yeah, right. >> suzanne somers is another one. >> jimmy: jenny craig is a real person? [ laughter ] i don't know, i thought it was kind of like mrs. butterworth or something. [ laughter ] >> and you think i'm stupid because i didn't know i was in a prequel? jenny craig is a real person. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: are you sure she's a real person? >> yes, yes. >> jimmy: okay. have you met her? >> no. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you've never seen her, huh? >> no. >> jimmy: she could be a hoax. it could be fake news. [ laughter ] then there was -- who else? elle mcpherson had a tape. >> cindy crawford. that was a tape i did in australia in the '90s. i did a bit of cindy crawford. >> jimmy: set it up in your living room? >> oh, yeah. she had a very sophisticated tape. >> jimmy: how often would you do it? an everyday type of thing? >> i would try to do it once a week. i guess. i was like 12. i don't know what i was doing. but yeah, it was, you know --
she was in the cut-offs, went from black and white to color. that was more '90s, though. this show is firmly early '80s. >> jimmy: did you feel like you were getting any exercise when you were doing that? >> the tape? >> jimmy: yeah. >> yeah. i mean, i think so. what are you suggesting? >> jimmy: i don't know. [ laughter ] i think about those richard simmons videos. i actually went with richard once to one of his -- >> you did? >> jimmy: yeah, to his thing. he's got a place, or he had a place. i don't think my heart rate moved even like one beat. >> it was more of a gentle workout. >> jimmy: it was a very gentle, like an old person -- >> elderly, yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: maybe someone -- maybe like a workout for somebody who spends most of their time on a rascal scooter. that's what i did. [ laughter ] >> yeah, yeah, and more sort of evangelical. like a lot of emotional stuff. >> jimmy: but there was a lot of positivity. >> yeah, a lot of "keep it up, up, up." >> jimmy: i feel good about myself, like i killed that thing, i didn't sweat in the
least! [ laughter ] by the way, speaking of fitness, i want to just quickly show something. you just made a movie. >> oh, yes. >> jimmy: we have a photograph. you play an elvis impersonator. this is going to be a little confusing. look real close. that's rose as elvis presley. and who's playing dolly parton? >> i produced a film with my production company, dollhouse pictures, in australia in 2020 called "seriously red." and this krew boylan plays a character called raeleen, who is an aspiring dolly impersonator. i play an elvis impersonator. >> jimmy: not just thin, young elvis. but also -- [ laughter ] it's funny to see elvis using a cell phone. [ applause ] a little weird, right? >> yeah, that's a little behind the scenes, yeah. >> jimmy: this could be a coffee table book. people who never had cell phones using cell phones. [ laughter ] >> yes. yeah. i think i captured his essence.
>> jimmy: do you do an elvis impression? >> i mean, i tried my hardest. you know, talking a little bit like him, low voice, hey, hello, sweetie. like that. >> jimmy: do you sing in the film? >> a little bit. a little bit. yes, we just sold the film, actually, so we're thrilled, we're hoping it will come out later this year. >> jimmy: excellent. well, it's very good to see you. >> oh, thank you. >> jimmy: please give my best to bobby and his mother. >> i will. >> jimmy: rose byrne. season 2 of "physical" premieres a week from friday on apple tv plus. we'll be back with the miz! [ cheers and applause ] looking to get back in your type 2 diabetes zone? once-weekly ozempic® can help. ♪ oh, oh, oh, ozempic®! ♪ ♪ oh, oh, oh ♪ ozempic® is proven to lower a1c. most people who took ozempic® reached an a1c under 7 and maintained it. and you may lose weight. adults lost on average up to 12 pounds. in adults also with known heart disease, ozempic® lowers the risk of major cardiovascular events such as heart attack, stroke, or death. ozempic® helped me get back in my type 2 diabetes zone.
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for controller, yvonne yiu. as an executive at top financial firms, yiu managed hundreds of audits. as mayor, yiu saved taxpayes over $55 millio. finding waste. saving money. yiu is for you. fanduel and draftkings, two out of state corporations making big promises to californians. what's the real math behind their ballot measure for online sports betting? 90% of profits go to the out of state corporations permanently. only eight and a half cents is left for the homeless. and in virginia, arizona, and other states, fanduel and draftkings use loopholes to pay far less than was promised. sound familiar? it should. it's another bad scheme for california.
do you know any celebrity impressions? >> stallone. yo, adrian. could you like, i don't know, ask cup and link to pass the mustard? >> what movie is that from? >> it was kind of improvised from "rocky." >> do you do "rocky 2"? >> look, adrian, i never asked you to stop being a woman. so maybe you wouldn't mind not asking me to be a man. >> can you do "rocky 3"? >> you ain't nothing, balboa! yeah, well, maybe you got a big mouth. yeah, well, maybe you'd like to come down here and close it for me. anytime. >> now 4. >> i must break him. he's like a piece of iron. >> now 5. >> i know i'm ready for this, rock. all i've got to do is have you in my corner. i know i can win. look, kid, it takes a lot more
than just, you know, muscle to win. it takes a lot more than the drive. you know, you've got to -- you've got to have heart. but i got all that, rock. i got all of it. i guess i don't think i'm ready. >> i guess i haven't seen that one. [ applause ] this is antonelli's cheese shop... and we're the antonellis! do good. eat good. that's our mission. we chose our spark cash plus card from capital one because it gives us unlimited two percent cash back on everything we buy. and it has no preset spending limit
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♪ >> jimmy: hi there. music from sebastian yatra is on the way. our next guest is not only one of the most decorated wrestlers in the wwe, he is a reality tv star too. season 3 of "miz & mrs." premieres june 6th on usa network. please welcome the miz. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ listen, you know how to make an entrance. >> well, i feel like being a wwe superstar for about 18 years. so i better know how to do an entrance.
>> jimmy: yeah. [ cheers and applause ] that's part of the deal, i guess. >> that is part of the deal, honestly. whenever i go out there, it's about creating moments that will last a lifetime. so hopefully we'll give them a little something today. >> jimmy: let's talk about this show of yours. because the premise of the show is when two wrestlers marry and then have a family, not just your immediate family, your extended family like your mom and mother-in-law who lived in your house, right? >> yes, they were living in our house. they were living in our guesthouse. >> jimmy: which that alone is -- well, it's a problem. >> i thought it was a good idea. i did. >> jimmy: did you? >> i really thought -- think about it. i have a 4-year-old and a 2 1/2-year-old. madison, monroe. the keys to my heart, right? they will be with their grandmothers all the time, how amazing would that be? >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> then a week in -- [ laughter ] the house was empty and quiet. marjo, my wife's mother, took the kids out. i was like oh wow, this might be
a good time to have a little adult time with my wife. >> jimmy: i gotcha. okay. >> so we went upstairs, and we were in, how do you say, mid-conversation. >> jimmy: mm-hmm. [ laughter ] >> and i hear like a knock on the door. but the way my mother knocks on the door is usually a knock with an open and a "hello." and luckily there's a wall. and i was like ma, no! ma! ma, no! but she didn't see what happened. but she knows what happened. >> jimmy: she knows what happened. >> here's how i know she knew what happened. the next day, marjo comes to me and goes -- she's french canadian. so she was like, "mike, would you and maryse were doing yesterday was very natural --" [ laughter ] i'm like first off, one, i don't need the birds and the bees pr you. i'm a 40-year-old man! and two, why is my mom telling other people what happened! [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] so i was like, all right.
all right. i love you guys. but we need to get you out of the house. >> jimmy: you have to go. >> now they're close enough but not that close. >> jimmy: are they still together? >> no, no. >> jimmy: they're separated? >> separate places. >> jimmy: that alone is a potential disaster. >> a whole other experience. >> jimmy: yeah, right. you started on "the real world" right? when you were a kid? >> i did. 20 years old. >> jimmy: 20 years old. then when you go from "the real world" to the world of wrestling, which is very -- listen, these guys in wwe, these are talented guys. >> very talented. >> jimmy: physically imposing -- >> are you trying to say being on "the real world," i wasn't talented? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, not at all. it did turn out you were. but if i was a wrestler and some kid from "the real world" came into my world, i would be skeptical. did you experience that? >> did i experience that? i got kicked out of the locker room. do you want to know why, jimmy? >> jimmy: sure. >> eating a piece of chicken. >> jimmy: you got kicked out of the locker room for eating chicken? was it someone else's chicken? >> no, it was my chicken.
and i was sitting down in the locker room, eating a piece of chicken. someone walks in, says "hey, you're eating over my bag." was i? to him, i was. to me, i was not. >> jimmy: okay. >> however, that parlayed into miz is eating a piece of chicken, getting it all over people's bag. then it went to another person where miz is in the locker room throwing chicken around the locker room, everything. so i ended up getting kicked out of the locker room. and i -- >> jimmy: so you were not allowed -- where would you change if you were out of the locker room? >> broom closets. >> jimmy: really? >> there are amazing broom closets in arenas. [ laughter ] you might ask, the next question is, well, do broom closets have bathrooms? and no, they do not, jimmy. i don't know if you knew that. >> jimmy: where would you go to the bathroom? >> sometimes i would go out into the public area, and i'd be in a stall, and i would hear like kids be like, "i think the miz just went in there." [ laughter ] and then another kid would be like "no way. let's wait for him!" in my head i'm going, oh my god. meanwhile, i've got to be out in the audience, like making an entrance --
>> jimmy: right, yeah. >> in five minutes. >> jimmy: this is not the entrance you want to make. >> no, it's not. and then by the way, you get out of the stall and you want to say hello but you don't want to shake anyone's hands. >> jimmy: no. >> you've got to wash your hands. i don't know if you have the whole technique down. i definitely have the whole technique down. >> jimmy: you have no idea. [ laughter ] by the way, you're not doing it right. >> really? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: we'll go after that on commercial. >> you go like this? >> jimmy: you go in between the things. you've got to get the thumb. you get the other thumb. >> okay. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: on the backs of the hands, back to hands -- >> they didn't know they were going to get a whole class. did they? >> jimmy: they didn't know. they had no idea how clean the two guys they were watching are. >> really. >> jimmy: eventually they let you back in. or did they? >> i did get let back in about six months later. and honestly, it turned everything around. i honestly became one of the most successful wwe superstars ever. [ cheers and applause ] i'm the only two-time grand slam champion in the history of wwe. not hulk hogan. not stone cold steve austin. not the rock. not your boy john cena. the miz, the only two-time grand
slam champion. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: let's put the picture up on the screen. you had a match against rey mysterio and who else? >> that's not rey mysterio. >> jimmy: no, no. it was against -- but what happened was your teammate was logan paul. you turned on logan paul at the end of this. >> i did. >> jimmy: yeah. and what is this move here? what is this move called? this is a great photograph. >> that is the skull crushing finale. what happens is your skull hits the mat, it's basically crushing. so it's the last thing. it's the finale. skull crushing finale. >> jimmy: why did you decide to crush logan paul's skull? >> look, logan paul has a huge fan base. people that love him. >> jimmy: yes. >> but he also has people that want to see his face hit the mat. >> jimmy: right. >> and i am a person that i give people what they want. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i create moments that last a lifetime. >> jimmy: okay, okay. but wouldn't it be your opponent's job to crush his skull? >> it would. but i like to have the moment.
i like to be in the spotlight. by the way, the entire -- it's very difficult to make me a good guy. i have been a bad guy for 18 years in wwe. i am booed out of the building. i am chanted "you suck" all the time. but when logan paul came in and i hit that skull crushing finale, people celebrated. >> jimmy: i see. >> except for one person in the audience. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, really? wait, who was the one person in the audience who did not celebrate -- >> so i'm skull crushing finale him. i'm celebrating myself. i look to my left, and i see jake paul just like this. and i'm thinking, oh, this guy's going to hop the barricade, if he does, i'm going to knock him out, be the first that does it. [ laughter ] could have been a two-fer but he didn't. he didn't. >> jimmy: it's nice to see brothers loving each other. >> right. >> jimmy: very good to see you. the show, it's coming back on june 6th. it's called "miz & mrs." it's on usa network. and watch wwe's "money in the bank" july 2nd, 8:00 on peacock. the miz. we'll be back with sebastian yatra!
i've lived in san francisco for 20 years. i'm raising my kids here. this city is now less safe for all of us. chesa boudin is failing to hold repeat offenders accountable. he prosecuted zero fentanyl drug dealing cases, even though nearly 500 people have died of overdoses. i'm voting yes on h to recall chesa boudin now. we can't wait one more day when people are dying on our streets. >> lou: the "jimmy kimmel live"
concert series is presented by mercedes eq. all electric, all mercedes. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thanks to rose byrne and the miz. apologies to matt damon, he's out of luck again. "nightline" is next but first -- his album is called "dharma." here with the song "tacones rojos," sebastian yatra! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ there's a light in my window ♪ ♪ a smile on my face you've given me a new life ♪ ♪ a new day oh, your love is like magic yeah ♪ ♪ i feel like i can fly i'm kissing the sky ♪ [ singing in spanish ] ♪ you're my piece of the sun i'm in heaven when i watch ♪ ♪ you dance to reggaeton with your red heels high ♪
♪ baby, you're making me dance, i feel so alive ♪ ♪ then you hurt me so good think i'm 'bout to cry ♪ ♪ i feel so lucky lovely ♪ ♪ i never met somebody who could love me like you ♪ ♪ love me in heels so high ba da da da da da da ya ya ♪ [ singing in spanish ] ♪ you got me so intoxicated it's the love i've been waiting for ♪ ♪ me and you, we're so meant to be ♪ ♪ it's just the start of our story ♪ ♪ we'll never be sorry like i told you baby ♪ ♪ you should leave here with me, i got something ♪ ♪ good for you come home, let me show you ♪ [ singing in spanish ]
♪ you're my piece of the sun i'm in heaven when i watch ♪ ♪ you dance to reggaeton with your red heels high ♪ ♪ baby, you're making me dance, i feel so alive ♪ ♪ you hurt me so good think i'm 'bout to cry ♪ ♪ yeah i feel so lucky lovely ♪ ♪ i never met somebody who could love me like you ♪ ♪ love me in heels so high ba da da da da da da ya ya ♪ [ singing in spanish ] ♪ you're my piece of the sun i'm in heaven when i watch ♪ ♪ you dance to reggaeton with your red heels high ♪ ♪ baby, you're making me dance, i feel so alive ♪
♪ then you hurt me so good think i'm 'bout to cry ♪ ♪ ooh, i feel so lucky lovely ♪ ♪ i never met somebody who could love me like you ♪ ♪ love me in heels so high ba da da da da da da ya ya ♪ ♪ i never met somebody i never met somebody ♪ ♪ da da da da da da ♪ ♪ i never met somebody ♪ [ singing in spanish ] ♪ yeah yeah ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
this is "nightline." >> tonight, chilling calls from what sounds like 911 dispatch to police in uvalde, texas. >> new video from the frenzy outside the school. why the department of justice is now reviewing the police response. plus, targeted and terrorized. >> if they come in, they are going to shoot me in the head and rob me blind. >> "selling sunset" star christine quinn opening up about an attempted burglary at her home in los angeles. part of a disturbing criminal trend in l.a. and shattering myths. legendaras