>> all right. before we go, some good news tonight. >> an unusual customer showed up at a convenience store in thailand. >> a wild elephant just strolled into the shop. surveillance video captured the whole thing. >> yeah. kind of a tight squeeze for the elephant who nudged a freezer out of the way and helped himself or herself to some sweets. parks rangers eventually coaxed the elephant to leave, but not before it devoured several bags of dried bananas. and no kidding, peanut snacks. >> it's like a bull in a china shop, but a little different. scan the qr code on your screen to share your good news with us, so we can share it with everyone else. and thank you so much for watching tonight. i'm ama daetz. >> and i'm dan ashley for sandyha patel, chris alvarez, all of us here. we appreciate your time. jimmy kimmel is next. >> have a great night. >> lou: from hollywood, it's “jimmy kimmel live”! tonight, don johnson, atsuko

okatsuka, and music from garbage, with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel! ♪ [ cheering ] >> jimmy: that's very nice of you. ♪ hello, i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thanks for watching. thank you for joining us in hollywood. i appreciate that. you know, we make all the big movies in this town -- "alien vs. predator," "godzilla versus kong," "kramer vs kramer." et cetera. but now we've got some competition from washington, d.c. we've got a big beautiful brouhaha titled "trump versus musk" that is trouble in

scamalot, folks. i mentioned last night that within 72 hours of exiting his role as dogebag-in-chief, elon, has been waging twitter war against trump's budget. musk was reportedly “butthurt” -- and yes, they did use that word -- it is a quote, about some of the stuff that's in the bill. usually when lon's butt hurts, it's because of all the drugs he is trying to smuggle through white house security. but this time it's different. first, he called the bill “a disgusting abomination” and lashed out at lawmakers, writing -- “in november next year, we fire all politicians who betrayed the american people." that's right. first he fired the people. next he wants to fire the politicians. because we have a ridiculous supreme court, guys like elon musk can spend as much money as they want to, to support or oppose a candidate in any election. in any place, he can fund a challenger to any congressman who doesn't want to do his bidding. so when he tweets something like “call your senator, call your congressman, bankrupting america is not ok! kill the bill” and the poster

from the movie “kill bill,” they get nervous. they have to wonder, does he really keta-mean it? or is it just a kind of -- and of course the democrats are jumping on it like he's on their side when it comes to all the terrible effects this bill would have on poor and middle class people, not to mention adding trillions of dollars to our national debt. the real truth is musk is mad about the things that affect him personally, like cutting the electric vehicle tax credit, and not using his company starlink for air traffic control, and that they pulled his friend's nomination for head of nasa. what elon musk cares about is elon musk. and you can tell that trump doesn't want to exacerbate this. even though it's reported he is furious, even though it was reported on fox news. trump has been unusually quiet. he has not punched back. in fact, he kind of disappeared this afternoon. usually, he's got reporters in the oval office. he's out yelling on the helipad. we had none of that. no executive orders. no angry posts about elon on truth social.

it's very unlike him to show restraint. so this must be serious. i mean, between elon and melania, trump now has two foreigners who won't sleep with him. [ applause ] it's only a matter of time. it will happen. i keep waiting to see musk on a one-way spacex to el salvador. we learned from the congressional budget office today that this big beautiful bill will kick about eleven million americans off their health insurance by the year 2034, at which point, elon will be on mars with his 87 kids and trump will essentially be a bag of dried mangos. and it's not just elon who is against it. marjorie tambourine green - has also come out against the bill, that she voted for, because she didn't read it first. >> we don't get the full bill text until very close to the time to vote for it. so that was one section, two

pages that i didn't see. i'm being very transparent with everyone, but i find it so problematic that i'm willing to come forward and admit those are two pages i didn't read. >> jimmy: yeah, those two, and all the other pages she didn't read. those or any of the books she didn't read in school. it doesn't make sense. the bill was more than a thousand pages long. it's hard to get through something like that when you're making blotchy-faced one-armed pushup videos. marjorie taylor-greene not backing donald trump is like a uti losing cranberry juice, okay. but marge is still all-in on trump's rabies-based trade policy. we have a new round of randomly-levied tariffs. this morning, the white house doubled tariffs on aluminum and steel. well, he did promise to stop the steel. the president has now slapped a 50% tariff on metals. experts say that higher prices are inevitable. we should expect to pay more for construction, cars, even appliances.

he's taking us to the cleaners, literally. soon we won't be able to afford a washer and dryer. and while it may seem like he's doing this all erratically and impulsively, that is not true. they actually have a very reliable system in place to decide what the tariff rate will be. [ applause ] >> oil. >> jimmy: and if you want to buy a vowel, forget about it. trump is also bigly focused on his pet project, which is essentially keeping lesbians out of the kennedy center. donald and melania are planning to attend opening night for the first new show of trump's tenure as chairman of the board, a performance of “les miserables”" it's going to be awkward when jean valjean is arrested for stealing bread to feed his family and everyone cheers. the show is a week from tonight. it is a three-hour-long production. you think he can stay awake for three hours? i'm not sure his diaper can last three hours long.

but trump is a big fan of "les mis." his favorite musicals are "les mis," "phantom of the opera," and "cats." he likes all the musicals that people who love musicals don't like. meanwhile, in new york, the trial of trump's buddy diddy. is going on. today the court heard from forensic video expert frank piazza, who testified that he enhanced ten sex videos that were recovered from a laptop in diddy's possession, which wasn't easy. have you ever tried to get baby oil out of a usb port? impossible. what a job that is, enhancing diddy's sex videos. “your honor, i added some balloons in there, just to make it fun." diddy is facing charges of sex trafficking and racketeering, at the same time that another high profile case, this one in civil court, in colorado starring the mypillow man, mike lindell. mike lindell stands accused of

making defamatory statements that irreparably tarnished the reputation of an employee at dominion voting systems, the company that makes the machines he claims were rigged in favor of joe biden. during opening statements, lindell's attorneys said they will not bother trying to convince the court that the election was indeed rigged. what matters is whether lindell believed it was rigged. and i have to say, there are few things i know with 100% certainty, but one of them is that mike believed what that little crackpipe in his head was telling him. mike is expected to take the stand in his own defense, which might be the single dumbest idea he's ever had. and remember, this is a guy who did an interview with me from inside a dave & busters claw machine. that's not ai. that happened. how did we not win a peabody for that? [ applause ] i mean, that's my legacy. fun fact. mike lindell is the only american who's ever been inside a claw machine and the oval office in the same year.

dominion is suing him for $1.3 billion. if he loses this case, he may have to live in that claw machine. our secretary of education wrasslin' linda mcmahaon, was back on the hill for day two of testimony before the house education and workforce committee. this woman is a real piece of work. she wants to dismantle her own department of education. she said parents should be allowed to opt out of their kids learning about evolution. and today she refused to say whether she believed schools should be allowed to teach the fact that joe biden won the 2020 election. and she wasn't the only ham-brain in the room. today a representative from wisconsin, a guy named glenn grothman made it clear that, if anything, we need more education. >> anybody who has been involved in republican politics for a while has met students who have to lie routinely on tests to feel they have to get a good score. and it's because you have this

mon monolithic west wing that has got almost all in some disciplines of the teaching jobs. and to me, this antisemitism is increasingly part of the left wing zee geest. it's everywhere. >> jimmy: the zee geest! you know, zee geest. the left wing is a geest. a man who thinks "zeitgeist" is pronounced "zee gees." not only is he in congress, he's on the congressional education committee. or as he says it, the education comma-tie. and by the way, none of what he said before, zee geest, made sense either. it's one thing to be illiterate in one language, but to be illiterate in two is impressive! good goin' sheboygan county! this crusade against anything that is deemed liberal, it's so silly. secretary of defense pete

hegseth is hard at work ordering the navy to rename a ship because it was named after the murdered gay rights activist harvey milk. the usns "harvey milk" will be renamed as part of president trump's campaign promise to rid our country of homosexual boats. the announcement was made yesterday when hesgeth accidentally “replied all” to a group text from his crossfit instructor. a memo from the defense department said the move was taken to align with trump's priorities of “re-establishing a warrior culture,” which is interesting seeing as how harvey milk was a combat veteran, a decorated officer on a navy rescue ship during the korean war and the closest donald trump has ever been to fighting in asia was getting diarrhea at a panda express. [ applause ] this is what they're doing. [ cheering ] important work. hegseth also announced he wants that volleyball scene cut out of "top gun." the navy is also intending to rename other of what they call

john lewis class ships, including the thurgood marshall, the ruth bader ginsburg, the harriet tubman, and the cesar chavez, all of which will be from hereon named after members of rascal flatts. so happy pride month. according to abc news, they actually did make this announcement to coincide with the start of pride month, which started on sunday, which is so gross. have these people ever heard of the song “in the navy”? i mean, this is -- and the pentagon isn't the only place where pride appears to be bothering people. it's happening in other places too. and here with more is one of our writers, a gay one named louis virtel, to “virtel it like it is.” louis? [ cheering ] >> june is pride month all around the country, but nowhere does there appear to be less gay pride than at a bar in boise, idaho that is hosting something called the "hetero awesome festival." this is a real festival. they did it last year too. and i actually think it's a great idea.

i want you straights to cherish the stuff that makes you uniquely the people you are too. like big wallets, losing your shit at a little league game, going to the same barber since you were 2, recommending the new jon hamm show, recommending the old jon hamm show, setting a deep fried turkey on fire, buying pants at costco, looking at a mantle and thinking, "this needs bobbleheads!" and those three magic words that all straight people love to hear, bass pro shop. [ applause ] and loving to fish so much you pose for pictures like this. or this. or this. or this or this or this.

or this or this or this. i bet he's holding a fish right now. no i'm not. >> we love you just the way you are. straight people, we salute you! live your life, live your truth, no matter how baggy the cargo shorts may get or how long the marvel end credit sequences may go. have an amazing hetero awesome fest. [ cheering ] >> jimmy: thank you, louis. we have a good show for you tonight. atsuko okatsuka is here. we've got music from garbage, and we'll be right back with don johnson. ♪ [ applause ] >> lou: abc's "jimmy kimmel live!" brought to you by amazon.

>> jimmy: hi there. welcome back to the show. tonight, a very funny woman, her new stand up special is called “atsuko okatsukal: father,” atsuko okatsuka is with us. [ cheering ] then later on, these -- they have been making music together for over 30 years. this is their eighth album, "let all that we imagine be the light," one of the great bands, garbage is here! [ cheering ] . tomorrow night, seth macfarlane and draymond green will join us with music from ty dolla $ign. so please join us for that too. after the nba finals tomorrow night. our first guest tonight swaggered sockless straight into our hearts on the television classic "miami vice." you can see him now as a shady small town police chief in the netflix movie “rebel ridge.” please welcome don johnson. [ cheering ] ♪

♪ >> handsome crowd. >> jimmy: how are you doing? >> i'm good. >> jimmy: it must be great to be don johnson. >> it's not bad. >> jimmy: i was thinking about it this afternoon. i was thinking i'll never be don johnson. nobody ever will be. even people named don johnson won't be don johnson. >> there is a lot of them. >> jimmy: i bet there are. yeah. except for you. you're the main guy. you're the number one guy. >> yeah, they all fall in line behind appropriately. >> jimmy: that's right. i saw you on television courtside at the knicks-pacers game. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you were with john mcenroe. were you with him or happened to be seated with him? >> no, no, we're pals. we've known each other for like 40 years. >> jimmy: really? wow. >> yeah, and some crazy

situations. >> jimmy: oh, go ahead! >> no, no, no! none of them i can talk about. no, he is a great guy. i love john. >> jimmy: how did you meet mcenroe? >> he came down to miami when i was doing the show, and we -- we met backstage at like a billy joel concert or something. i don't know. it could have been u2. i don't know. so long ago, and there were so many of them, i don't remember. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. and you stayed friends, stayed in touch? >> yeah, stayed close, stayed in touch. and i took him to a laker -- in fact, i took him -- he -- those three guys, david zaslav, bob costas and john mcenroe to the lakers game. they were playing the knicks. and the first half, of course, the knicks were just killing the lakers. >> jimmy: which game was this? >> it was right towards the end of the regular season. >> jimmy: yeah. >> so when they were cheering on the knicks, the knicks were killing them. i'm going okay, what happens?

now i'm with these friends. what happens in the second half and the lakers come out and, you know, kick their ass. so i said right before the halftime, i said now listen, when the lakers come out in the second half and kick your guys' ass, i don't want to hear any whining, i don't want to hear any grousing. >> jimmy: of course. >> of course, the lakers did come out and kick their ass in the second half. now i'm sitting with these guys and they're looking at me like why did you do that to us? >> jimmy: because you're don johnson and they're not. [ applause ] >> i'm don johnson, i can change the score of the game. >> jimmy: do the players come over and talk to you during the game? >> well, actually, at the knick game, tj mcconnell came over. was sitting there quite a while. i knew they were going win the game because i was in the huddle. >> jimmy: oh, you were, really? you got a sense of their confidence? >> no, i heard the whole thing. oh, yeah, what we're going to do this, do that, we're going to

run their asses off. and that's exactly what they did. >> jimmy: wow, wow. >> so tj mcconnell came over and goes hey, man, i'm a big fan, you know. "eastbound and down," ""django unchained"." he starts going through the top ten. oh, yeah, that's great, man. i like watching you guys. you're a great player. you're not very tall. he goes yeah, it works out for me. >> jimmy: he is a point guard, right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: i think his sister plays in the wnba. >> that may be so. i cannot confirm that. >> jimmy: well, i can, yes. you were also friends with larry bird. are you still friends with larry bird? >> i haven't seen him in a long time. >> jimmy: yeah. i didn't know larry bird even really had friends. i'm going to be honest with you. and i don't mean that as a slight to larry. he just didn't seem like he goes and does anything. >> that's -- yeah. i know what you mean. because he kind of carries that sort of dead-eyed gunslinger thing.

>> jimmy: yeah. >> but i went to see him one time at the garden, at boston gardens when it was still the boston gardens. and he sent word out to come back to the locker room after the game. and so i said okay, sure. i mean, what the heck. so i go back there, and i'm standing there, and i'm talking to he and kevin mchale. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> and i think i can tell this story, because the gentlemen i'm talking about has already passed. but i was standing, there and we're kind of shooting the breeze and stuff, and i turn and i look, and coming out of the showers is dennis johnson. >> jimmy: okay. >> and dennis johnson's johnson is the star of the show. >> jimmy: oh. >> yeah. >> jimmy: oh, wow. >> yeah. and i kind what the -- >> jimmy: it was -- it was statement. >> jimmy: in a shower full -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: of very tall people. >> no, dude. >> jimmy: and dj was not that

tall. >> no, no. they're all much taller than me, and bigger. >> jimmy: and as a fellow johnson, that has got to be interesting, yeah. yeah. [ applause ] wow. >> so as it turns out, i turned back to larry and kevin mchale, and i went like this. they're going right? [ laughter ] but the coup de grace is when i'm leaving the arena, he is in the tunnel with his wife who is this tall. [ laughter ] and i just had to stop there for a minute and go yeah, the math doesn't really work on this. [ applause ] >> jimmy: well, i think dennis would be very pleased -- >> that i'm bragging on national television. >> jimmy: that's how i hope my funeral will go. >> i've already written those out for me. >> jimmy: at my funeral, i hope they're not able to close the

casket, you know. [ laughter ] you seem to know everybody it feels like. but maybe it's not true. but here you are. i believe this is 1975. you're backstage at an alman brothers concert. you have chuck lavelle from the band, jimmy carter, you've got dickey betz and you hanging out. and it's signed by jimmy carter. >> yeah. >> jimmy: not to you. somehow we got ahold of this. >> yeah, i don't know. i don't remember that photo, but we were all stoned. >> jimmy: wait, even jimmy? >> i don't know about him. >> jimmy: oh, okay. >> i don't want to cast any aspersions on the former president, god rest his soul. i think dickey is smoking a joint there. i'm not really sure. >> jimmy: yeah, he is smoking something. and jimmy carter is just hanging out. i know he was friends with the allman brothers. >> we actually did a concert to support his campaign. and then when we got invited to the white house, well, then the

fun began. >> jimmy: you were part of that concert? >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: what do you mean the fun began at the white house? nobody has fun there, do they? >> well -- >> jimmy: wait, yes, i have heard. willie nelson had fun there. >> yeah, we all had fun there. >> jimmy: is that the kind of fun you had there? >> say that again? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: did you smoke at the white house? >> i don't know how to answer this. well, yes, i guess. >> jimmy: you did. [ cheering ] you know what? >> i was there several times. >> jimmy: how many times were you at the white house? >> well, i was there for every president since carter. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> and i slept at the white house. and i stayed there and represented the u.s. for the albertville olympics with george h.w. bush. >> jimmy: oh. >> who was fantastic. he was great guy. >> jimmy: did he get high? was he a stoner? >> no. but he wanted to gamble when we

played golf. >> jimmy: he did? >> at camp david. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. so i took his money, yeah. >> jimmy: you did? come on. seriously. [ applause ] you played golf with the president, with president bush, and then at the end of the round, he had to reach in his wallet and give you money? >> that's right. and i'll tell you something else. he is a trash talker. >> jimmy: he is? >> yeah. and he ran into a buzz saw, because so am i! >> jimmy: how much did you get from bush? >> oh, it wasn't that much. 18, 20 bucks. but that's the best 18 or 20 bucks you'll ever get. >> jimmy: you're absolutely right. don johnson is with us. "rebel ridge." (♪) on medicare? living with diabetes? progress is having your coffee like you like it... ...without an audience. (♪) (silence) the freestyle libre 3 plus sensor can help lower your a1c over time.

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now you sustained minor injuries after colliding with a parole vehicle, and you were offered but refused medical assistance at the scene. it seems like to me any harm that's come to you is of your own doing. now currently and under false pretenses, you are in a secure area. so i'm going ask you if you would be so kind as to cut off your recording device and exit my station. >> you betcha'. >> jimmy: that is don johnson in "rebel ridge" which was a huge hit on netflix. >> the only people that don't know about it are netflix. >> jimmy: no, i think they know. you feel like they don't? you feel like they don't? >> well, i kind of had to remind

ted. i said, you know, you ought to watch this. it's pretty good. and then i think he finally did, because it was number one on the network. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. a big thing. [ applause ] >> yeah, i'm grateful for it, though. >> jimmy: you're playing a crooked police chief again. you played on "watchman" which you were fantastic in, you were a crooked police chief. >> yeah. >> jimmy: worse than crooked, perhaps. >> but i didn't know i was crooked then. >> jimmy: you didn't know you were crooked. is it more fun to be a crooked policeman? >> it's great to be the bad guy. yeah, it's great to play the bad guy, because usually the leading guys are written two-dimensionally. playing the bad guy, you have to find the humanity in them, and sometimes that's very difficult. but if you find the humanity in them, when they come with the goods, you go wow, that's meaningful, you know. >> jimmy: you're one of the great television cops of all

time, sonny crockett on "miami vice." [ cheering ] and i wonder if people who aren't of my age or older know how huge that show was. it wasn't just that there was so many people watching. there were how many people were watching that show? >> for real! [ laughter ] >> this is -- you know, this is back when there were four networks. >> jimmy: yeah, right. >> so we would get 40 to 50 million people every friday night at 10:00. >> jimmy: right. >> and that was a big deal, because people wouldn't go out on their dates or anything until after 10:00. it was like a thing. and i don't know -- there is really no way to compare it, and certainly not for the length of time. but it was beatles-like when it was on the air. >> jimmy: people started dressing like you. >> yeah. >> jimmy: the music. when you guys would play a song on the show, it would instantly become a hit. >> yeah. >> jimmy: people stopped shaving because of you? >> yeah.

and wearing socks. >> jimmy: and wearing sox. >> sometimes not so successfully. >> jimmy: i would also add that it wasn't all positive. sometimes you ran into a bump or two in the road. for instance, you became -- and this became a national story. i remember this. this became a thing because you weren't wearing a seat belt on the show. >> look at the look on my face. >> jimmy: you look guilty. >> it looks like all right, you [ bleep ] caught me. [ applause ] >> jimmy: the caption is great too, "don johnson buckles seat belt off the set." and then it became a whole big thing to the point where you had to do like a psa campaign, right? >> yeah, i did. >> jimmy: and guess what we did? >> tell me. >> jimmy: we went and we found the psa campaign. p because that is the kind of thing that we do. and we have it. >> that's a pretty nice sports car. i drive something like it on "miami vice." if you watch the show, you know that we don't wear seat belts

when we're chasing around after the bad guys. it just wouldn't work so well if crockett was wearing a seat belt. it wouldn't be as exciting and dangerous. that's okay for sonny crockett. but not for me. because this is my life, one i'm having a pretty good time with. [ applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: very responsible. [ cheering ] i feel i have to ask, do you still take seat belt safety seriously? >> i take seat belts very seriously. >> jimmy: i would hope so, because it's very important. >> and so should you. because it's important to always be safe. [ laughter ] in everything you do. everything. >> jimmy: "rebel ridge" is on

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>> jimmy: welcome back to the show. garbage is on the way. our next guest is a very funny comedian with a fascinating life-story. her new stand-up comedy special is called “atsuko okatsuka: father.” it premieres a week from friday on hulu, please welcome atsuko okatsuka. [ applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: very good to see you. you look fantastic. i like what you put together here. >> thank you so much. thank you so much, jimmy. great to see you. >> jimmy: it's great to see you. you've had a very big year, haven't you? >> oh, my gosh, bigger and bigger. >> jimmy: are you getting a big head? are you getting -- becoming difficult with those around you? >> jimmy, no. my life -- >> jimmy: good, good. >> as there is more success, my life has gotten worse. >> jimmy: it has? >> yes. >> jimmy: i'm sorry to hear that. in what ways has it gotten

worse? >> there is more responsibilities. >> jimmy: oh. >> there is family members reaching out to me i didn't know i had. oh, my gosh, i'm still care-taking, you know. >> jimmy: for who? >> my grandma, my mom. >> jimmy: really? are you their caretaker? >> i look after them. i gave my grandma a bath for the first time the other day for example. >> jimmy: oh, you did. never given her a bath before. >> no. first time. it was wild. for some reason, i decided to get in the bathtub with her. >> jimmy: i see. >> and my grandma, she didn't tell me, but she had put lotion all over her body. so she was so slippery. i could not get a grip. it was like trying to catch a dolphin. i felt like we were working at seaworld. like agghhh, screaming oh, my gosh. >> jimmy: yeah, that's no good at all. you're lucky she didn't go down the drain. >> no, she is not that tiny. >> jimmy: she is not that small. >> that's "honey i shrunk the kids."

this one is "moana 2." we were doing "moana 2."" >> jimmy: you shot your special right next door to us at the el capitan theater, which is a movie theater. >> right next door. i was thinking about you the whole time. >> jimmy: were you? >> i was thinking he is so close yet so far. i think you were at home. >> jimmy: i was probably at home. it was probably the weekend. i don't hang around here on the weekends. >> no. but thank you for letting me have your parking spot. >> jimmy: oh, you're welcome. you're welcome to it any time. yeah. >> yeah, it was right next door. i'm an l.a. girl, you know. my grandma moved me here from japan, straight to l.a. and then we would walk up and down, even being at the studio, we would walk up and down these streets. and that sounds like we were working. >> jimmy: you were not. >> we were like street walkers. but we would pass the el capitan. me as an immigrant kid, look at this gorgeous place. >> jimmy: yeah. >> but we could never afford to watch any movies in there.

and then years later, here i am, doing a craft in a language that isn't mine, my first, you know. >> jimmy: that is amazing. [ applause ] and you didn't have to pay to get in. >> i didn't have to pay to get in. other people had to. >> jimmy: so you've never been to a film there or any of that snuff i don't think many people have done stand-up comedy there. >> yeah. and because of that, i am the first female comedian to ever have performed on that stage. >> wow. >> yeah. >> jimmy: your grandma at the show? >> it was past her bedtime, so no. >> jimmy: i see. >> but, yes. her spirit was with us. >> jimmy: you said your grandmother brought you to the united states. >> right. >> jimmy: it was her decision to come here? >> yes, yeah. >> jimmy: and she without your mom's knowledge or permission? >> so my mom came with us. my mom was equally bamboozled as

me. my grandmother told us we were coming here for a two-month vacation. like i can't count. because 27 years later, this is the longest vacation i've been on. >> jimmy: so she knew that you were going to stay or she fell in love with the united states, los angeles while she was here? >> my grandma had planned for us to stay. >> jimmy: she did. >> she didn't want to tell me because she was i think you would have protested. and i would have. she's not wrong. >> jimmy: so smart. just tell the kids we're going on vacation. >> right. >> jimmy: i never thought of doing anything like that. that's very clever. >> but when you want to move. >> jimmy: well, listen, if i decide i need to go somewhere, or maybe i have to, that's the way to go. >> just lie. >> jimmy: guess what, kids, we're going to lithuania! >> lithuania! jimmy, lithuania? at least there was disneyland to lure me here. >> jimmy: oh, did you go disneyland when you were here on vacation? >> yes, yeah. that's how they get you.

yeah. yeah. so, yeah, since i'm still here. someone called it a kidnapping, what she did. and that person is my dad. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you did name the special father. >> i did, yeah. because i talk about reconnecting with my dad, who i was separated from when my grandma did that. and don't get me wrong. my grandma is my best friend. we're very close. but sometimes, you know, your closest friends are your villains too. you know? and my dad and i have reconnected. we're very close now. so i called up father. but also, because my fans call me mother, you know. but mothers have it together. so i'm more father. >> jimmy: yeah. that's kind of a heavy thing, isn't it? your fans call you mother. and also like your fans show up with your hairstyle. >> yeah. >> jimmy: wherever you go, men, women, you name it, they're wearing your hair.

>> my bowl cut. look at us looking like five people beatles. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. and in a way, this is not great, because now you're locked into this hairstyle, right? you can't change it. >> no, but, jimmy, does mouse take her bow off? >> jimmy: no, she does not. never, ever, ever. that's your trademark now. >> because if she did, she'd just be any other mouse, right? she might as well be mickey. >> jimmy: yeah, she would look like mickey except for eyelashes. you're absolutely right. >> and you have your iconic look. you've been wearing the same suit for seven -- >> jimmy: that's true. [ applause ] >> 75 years? >> jimmy: a little more than that. >> right? this is how we know who you are. [ laughter ] we can't change. goofy can't take that lime green hat off. no. he'd be any other dog. is he clifford? is he beethoven? we don't know. >> jimmy: you're right. it is important to keep that kind of straight. >> right. >> jimmy: i do want to ask about your husband. in the special, you said that he

was about to get a vasectomy. did he get the vasectomy? and how did it go? >> he did. >> jimmy: he did? >> he did. he is well, now. he is not the father. it went well. >> jimmy: how long did it take him to recover? >> a little longer than we anticipated. >> jimmy: yeah? >> everyone is like oh, it's snip, snip, so quick. but it took him, to be honest, three months. >> jimmy: three months is a long time. >> i know. to keep that cone around your head. the whole time. [ applause ] it was a lot. >> jimmy: i think he may have had him accidentally neutered it sounds like. >> yeah. we went to the wrong doctor. >> jimmy: that's called a veterinarian. you guys were in the wrong place, yes. >> i should have known. this is a loft dogs around us. you're next, sweetie. >> jimmy: well, it's very good to see you. >> great to see you. >> jimmy: congratulations on your special. >> thank you. >> jimmy: any time you want to use my parking spot, you're

mother than welcome. >> thank you so much. >> jimmy: it's called "atsuko okatsuka:

>> jimmy: thanks to don johnson thanks to atsuko okatsuka. i want to apologize to matt damon. we ran terribly late, ran out of time. we'll get him on eventually. "nightline" is next, but first, their album “let all that we imagine be the light” is out. now here with the song “there's no future in optimism,” garbage! ♪ if you're ready for love if you're ready for love ♪ ♪ if you're ready for love if you're ready for love ♪ ♪ if you're ready for love if you're ready for love if you're ready for love ♪ ♪ its future future its love love future ♪ ♪ its future future its love love future ♪ ♪ its future future its love love future ♪ ♪ its future future its love love future ♪ ♪ the night is dark and full of terror ♪

♪ the air is thick with helicopters ♪ ♪ people marching cops are swarming ♪ ♪ the city's on fire and the sirens are screaming ♪ ♪ you and i we have a chance ♪ ♪ we could leave this place and rewrite our romance ♪ ♪ let's go dancing not talk for a while ♪ ♪ the sky's so beautiful the stars are wild ♪ ♪ future future love love future ♪ ♪ its future future its love love future ♪ ♪ ♪ there is no future that can't be designed ♪ ♪ with some imagination and a beautiful mind ♪ ♪ did i disgrace myself bring shame to the flock ♪ ♪ i was sick with resentment couldn't help myself ♪ ♪ the earth is shaking

i want to go home ♪ ♪ the clock is ticking we'll go it alone ♪ ♪ the rest is history a host of mistakes ♪ ♪ a strange turn of events an unfortunate mess ♪ ♪ future future love love future ♪ ♪ its future future its love love future ♪ ♪ if you're ready for love if you're ready for love ♪ ♪ if you're ready for love if you're ready for love ♪ ♪ ♪ if you're ready for love if you're ready for love ♪ ♪ if you're ready for love if you're ready for love ♪ ♪ if you're ready for love

if you're ready for love ♪ ♪ if you're ready for love if you're ready for love if you're ready for love ♪ ♪ its future its future its love love future ♪ ♪ its future its future its love love future ♪ ♪ its future its future its love love future ♪ ♪ its future its future its love love future ♪ ♪ its future future its love love future ♪ ♪ future future love love future ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ]