tv Late Night With Jimmy Fallon NBC August 24, 2010 11:35pm-12:35am PST
"jimmy fallon" happening right >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendroots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much. thank you, appreciate it. thank you, thank you very much. you guys feeling good tonight? huh? you guys feeling good? that's great. welcome -- welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon." let's get right to the news. the big comic book convention, comic-con, starts tomorrow in san diego. this is a week-long convention of comic books, science fiction, video games and other forms of birth control. [ laughter ] very excited for that. you guys, british prime minister david cameron is visiting the u.s. and yesterday, he and president obama gave each other pieces of art. that really wasn't necessary, britain. [ light laughter ] you've already given us a huge oil painting. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] that's nice. yeah, they're still trying to fix this whole oil mess. yesterday, bp vice president kent wells said that, "everything's looking good." [ laughter ]
and then someone turned him around and he was like, "holy crap! look at all this oil!" [ laughter ] "you've got to be kidding me! how come no one told me about the oil?" [ applause ] he just turned the wrong way, that's all. i read about this. the faa is ordering airlines to inspect more than 100 boeing planes for cracks that could cause engines to fall off. [ laughter ] yeah, that's what you want to hear right before your flight. "ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. uh, it's gonna be a few minutes here, as we check to make sure the engine won't fall off." [ laughter ] "yeah, we're worried that one of the engines might fall off, so we'll be a couple of minutes." [ laughter ] this is pretty crazy. a man in colorado designed a car where passengers sit on two toilet seats. [ laughter ] it's great. when a cop pulls you over and knocks on your window, you can just yell, "someone's in here!"
[ laughter ] "someone's in here." [ applause ] "someone's in here." check this out. the dr. seuss book "green eggs and ham" is available as an iphone app. [ light laughter ] yep, they hope this will take your mind off the fact that you can not, will not make a call. you can not, will not in the mall. [ laughter ] you can not, will not buy an app. you can not, should not buy this piece of -- and it ends there. [ audience ohs ] it ends there. happy birthday to our friend robin williams, who turned 59 today. we love robin williams. [ cheers and applause ] very funny guy. he celebrated by doing a 20-minute routine about his cake. [ impersonating williams ] "oh, look at the flames. it's like it's a bunch of people trying to get frankenstein out of the frosting, yes. thank you, yes.
oh, i feel like jay-z. i got 59 candles but a wick ain't one, yes. thank you." [ laughter ] "yes, it's a lot of fire. even the head of bp's going, 'stop wasting fuel,' yes. thank you." [ laughter ] yeah, robin, just -- we'll blow out the candles, you -- [ laughter ] hey, guys, listen to this. there's a new bill here in new york that would make it easier to report abusive bosses. yeah. you think people are gonna do that, higgins? >> steve: no. who would do that? i wouldn't do that. i'm not gonna do that. >> jimmy: huh? [ laughter ] what'd you say? >> steve: nothing. >> jimmy: what'd you say to me? [ crying ] >> steve: i didn't say anything. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's right. you didn't say anything. [ cheers and applause ] and finally, "sports illustrated" just reported that tiger woods made $90 million over the last year, or as elin nordegren calls it, $45 million.
[ laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show. give it up for the roots! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right. thank you for watching the show tonight. we got a fantastic show. one of the funniest guys around, steve carell is here! [ cheers and applause ] love him. i love everybody on our show. and also coming back, a talented and fun young superstar, selena gomez is joining us! [ cheers and applause ] i love her, too. we got some great music from halestorm, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] it's gonna be fun. going to be a fun, fun show. with this crowd, too. it's a great audience. we have a great crowd. i should have mentioned that we have a great crowd. [ cheers and applause ] we were talking during the monologue about president obama and stuff like that, and
president obama has these -- he's got, like, these great facial expressions. you know, he has, like, thousands of different facial expressions. like, one for every occasion. now, you know all know the classic ones, like this one. [ laughter ] the determined, yet hopeful. [ laughter ] there are tons more out there you don't see just as often. you can almost tell what he's thinking just by looking at his face. so i thought tonight we'd take a look at some of his lesser-known facial expressions in a segment we call "obama expressions." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: now, take a look at this first one, here. this is from a speech a couple of weeks ago. [ laughter ] it's called the, "oh, don't make me take my jacket off." [ laughter ] here's another lesser-known expression that comes out every once in awhile. it's called the, "you talkin' to me?" [ laughter ] a li'l bit. a li'l bit. this next expression is great. it's from a recent town hall meeting.
this is the, "barry, i'm a leo." [ laughter ] here's another one. this is another great expression. this is the, "oh, no, you didn't!" [ laughter ] now take a look at this next one. this is the, "oh, yes, we did!" [ laughter ] [ applause ] here's another obama facial expression. take a look at this. [ laughter ] this is the, "um, that's not the emergency brake." [ laughter ] "that's not the -- that's not the emergency brake." [ applause ] here's another one. this is from a meeting with british prime minister david cameron. it's called the, "wingman for life, bro." [ laughter ] the next one is very interesting. this is the, "drink it in, ladies. it's barack-tacular." [ laughter ]
here's one from a joint news conference with canadian prime minister stephen harper. this is the, "pretending to listen to this guy talk while actually thinking about the 1990s sitcom, 'boy meets world.'" [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] here's another one. this is from the same conference. this is the, "i wonder if 'boy meets world' is out on dvd." [ laughter ] don't you think? and here's one here. this is the -- [ laughter ] "i mean, how could it not be? it was one of the best shows ever. i mean, you got your cory matthews. you got topanga. you got mr. feeny and -- what was the name of that nerdy kid from the first couple seasons? mingus? munkus? no, minkus! yeah, he was definitely the biden of the group." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] this next one is called the, "if i was in 'boy meets world,' i'd be shawn hunter, mostly because he was cool, but partly because
his name was 'shawn' and i always wanted to be named 'shawn.' think about it -- shawn obama. how cool would that be? also, he had cool hair. one time i went to the barber and i said, 'i want my hair to be like shawn hunter's hair,' but the guy just looked at me and said, 'who?' heh, heh, good times." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] must have been an interesting meeting because here's another. this is the, "remember 'the boy meets world' where cory's bother eric is studying for the sats, but he's not that smart, so mr. feeny, who is somehow their neighbor, principal and history teacher -- i never got how that worked -- tutors him? and then shawn goes to live with mr. turner, that teacher with the long hair and motorcycle. [ laughter ] and then, eric studies for so long, he takes a break and goes outside and gets a deep breathe he's like -- get this, get this -- he goes, 'ah, fresh h20.' get it? it's funny 'cause h20 is water, not air. ha, ha, ha. in conclusion, they gotta bring back 'boy meets world.'" [ cheers and applause ] amazing that he can convey that in one quick glance. he loves "boy meets world."
and finally, one of the most common obama expressions. it's from a recent g-8 meeting. it's called the, "this gonna be best flomax commercial ever!" [ laughter ] there you have it. those are some great facial expressions. [ cheers and applause ] stick around. we'll be right back with "audience suggestion box." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ you want to make a big screen... bigger. and you want to make a long flight... shorter. and you want to relive every little detail. and you want to rediscover something you've seen your whole life. and while you want to share this live with a friend, you want to share this... with everyone around you. you've always dreamed of things you wanted your phone to do. you just didn't think anyone was listening. the htc evo 4g at sprint. because you want a phone that gets you. and we are htc. subway footlongs... are just $5. [ male announcer ] score big with the $5 footlong sub made just the way you love it.
throw on some mustard... a little bit of mayo... black olives... maybe a couple jalapenos. i like a little kick. subway. where winners eat. we get double miles on every purchase. so we earned an l.a. getaway twice as fast. we get double miles every time we use our card. no matter what we're buying. and since double miles add up quick... romans! get em! [ garth ] ...we can bring the whole gang. [ sheep bleats ] it's hard to beat double miles. whoa -- he's on the list. but we're with him. [ male announcer ] introducing the venture card from capital one with double miles on every purchase every day. go to capitalone.com. [ indistinct shouting ] what's in your wallet? it activates on contact leaving your skin moisturized. it's clinically proven to fight skin dryness better than any regular men's body wash... leaving your skin feeling comfortable. be comfortable in your own skin.
what's on the schedule for today? >> 10:00 staff meeting, 1:00 drinks with clients, and tonight, you'll be hosting the emmy awards. [ coughs ] ♪ ♪ [ >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. and thank you so much for watching our program. hope you had a great day. as you guys know, we're always striving to get better here at "late night." faster, leaner, stronger, more powerful.
so before every show, we put out a suggestion box for the audience, just to have some feedback. just to hear what you guys think of the show, want us to change and stuff. that kind of thing, you know? so tonight, let's look inside the audience suggestion box. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: there we go. let's see what we got here. open up the box, here. this is -- okay, this is from eddie kaine. it says, "hey, jimmy, you should give a nickname to a random member of tonight's audience." [ light laughter ] that's a great idea. absolutely. who wants a nickname? [ cheers and applause ] zoom in, zoom in. yeah, that guy with the hat. that guy with the hat. zoom in. there ya go. yeah, yeah, yeah, he's perfect. yeah, go down. go down to the guy in front -- yeah, that guy in the red. there ya go, yeah. what's your name? what's your name? yell. what is your name? >> my name is terrel.
>> jimmy: terrel? what is your last name? >> my name is terrel shaw. >> jimmy: terrel shaw. your name is -- your nickname is "shawsy." [ cheers and applause ] "shawsy." do what? you wanna do what? one more? we'll do one more? one more? who else? who wants one, there? anyone else want one? anyone else? zoom in -- zoom in on somebody. that's great. yeah, that guy in the shirt -- that guy in the shirt there. what's your name, buddy? >> dan. >> jimmy: dan -- dan what? >> dan wogin. >> jimmy: dan bogin? >> wogin with a "w." >> jimmy: dan wogin. i'm gonna call you "underage." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] how old's that guy? dan wogin. 17? who else we got? we got here -- it's one from max stewart. it says, "jimmy, i love thumb wrestling and i love mud wrestling. can you combine these two into one super game?" sounds like a great idea. here you go, you guys. "thumb mud wrestling." >> "thumb mud wrestling!" >> jimmy: here we go, all right.
we got some contestants here. what's your name, and where you from? >> hi, i'm casey, from waterbury, connecticut. >> and i'm chris from new hampshire. >> jimmy: chris from new hampshire. very, very good. all right, now you guys know how to thumb wrestle, right? >> got a general idea. >> jimmy: pretty cool, all right, good. now, go ahead, put your hands in there and get ready. [ laughter ] there ay go. you're wearing bikinis. i like that. you're wearing bikinis. let's put five seconds on the clock and -- go! ♪ >> jimmy: we have a winner! very good, we have a winner! you won. you're the champion. very, very good. thank you so much. only you and you alone will get to wear the thumb mud wrestling championship belt. let me put it on for you, there. there ya go. >> there we go. >> jimmy: right over the bikini. there you go. congratulations. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] great job. thank you so much. i appreciate it.
see what's next. this is from joel johnston. it says, "hey, jimmy, i really have to go pee. can i go?" [ laughter ] sure, where are you, joel? where are you? >> i'm over here. >> jimmy: okay, joel -- >> hey. >> jimmy: yeah, sure, buddy. if you have to go, go ahead. >> thank you, jimmy. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] this is from jackie simmons. jackie says, "jimmy, i'm a big fan of fire juggling. could you have someone fire juggle in the studio?" fire juggling -- you're talking about this, right? i think. ♪ yeah. yeah, yeah, yeah. i love it, too. i love it, too. but legally, we can't have open flame here in the studio. however, all is not lost because i do know this guy. he does the same exact thing except with saran wrap and bananas. [ laughter ]
he does children's parties, too. i mean, he's -- yeah. he's available. this last one -- we have time for one last one. this is from keith bell. it says, "jimmy, it looks like bp may finally have capped the oil spill. i think the best thing to come out of this mess has been that protest song that you wrote about it. the one you wrote about tarballs. could you sing it for us one last time?" [ cheers and applause ] all right. keith, i'll sing it for you one last time. here we go. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ the oil spill by bp has left tarballs all over the sea ♪ ♪ so don't go swimming down in the south unless you want tarballs in your mouth ♪ ♪ balls in your mouth balls in your mouth ♪
♪ don't swim in the ocean you'll get balls in your mouth ♪ ♪ balls in your mouth balls in your mouth ♪ ♪ don't swim in the ocean you'll get balls in your mouth ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ balls in your mouth balls in your mouth ♪ ♪ don't swim in the ocean you'll get balls in your mouth ♪ ♪ balls in your mouth balls in your mouth ♪ ♪ don't swim in the ocean you'll get balls in your mouth ♪ ♪ balls in your mouth balls in your mouth ♪ ♪ don't swim in the ocean you'll get balls in your mouth ♪ ♪ balls in your mouth balls in your mouth ♪ ♪ don't swim in the ocean you'll get balls in your mouth ♪ ♪ balls in your mouth balls in your mouth ♪ ♪ don't swim in the ocean you'll get balls in your mouth ♪ ♪ balls in your mouth balls in your mouth ♪
♪ don't swim in the ocean you'll get balls in your mouth ♪ ♪ balls in your mouth balls in your mouth ♪ ♪ don't swim in the ocean you'll get balls in your mouth ♪ ♪ balls in your mouth balls in your mouth ♪ ♪ don't swim in the ocean you'll get balls in your mouth ♪ [ cheers and applause ] that was great. that's all we have time for audience suggestions. stick around. we'll be right back with steve carell. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ balls in your mouth balls in your mouth ♪ ♪ don't swim in the ocean you'll get balls in your mouth ♪ boss: and now i'll turn it over to the gecko. gecko: ah, thank you, sir. as we all know, geico has been saving people money on rv, camper and trailer insurance... ...as well as motorcycle insurance... gecko: oh...sorry, technical difficulties. boss: uh...what about this?
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: who is that cowboy? who is that cowboy singing with you guys? >> it's one of my homies, man, i'm sorry. like, i apologize. >> jimmy: you know him? >> yeah, i can't take him anywhere. he's a rowdy cowboy guy. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, that's cool. i didn't know he was your friend. all right, very good. welcome back, everybody. our first guest is a hilarious and talented actor. he's currently starring in the hit animated movie "despicable me," and his new film, "dinner
for schmucks" opens next friday. say hello to the very funny steve carell! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ guess who's coming to dinner natty dreadlocks ♪ ♪ guess who's coming to dinner natty dreadlocks ♪ ♪ guess who's coming to dinner natty dreadlocks ♪ >> jimmy: you're a good man. welcome. >> thank you. >> jimmy: welcome to our show. i'm so happy. i'm such a fan of yours. >> likewise. >> audience: that's what she said! [ laughter ] >> yeah. >> jimmy: people are just yelling locations -- you know on "larry king," where they take phone calls? we take just -- people yell stuff out. >> i would love it if somebody yelled, "that's what she said" to larry king. [ laughter ] it'd make absolutely no sense. >> jimmy: i think it would probably make more sense. it'd be fantastic. albuquerque, new mexico. "that's what she said!" [ laughter ]
was that one of the quotes you hear the most, every time you go somewhere? >> i hear that a lot. i hear, "i ate a big red candle." [ laughter ] "i love lamp." ironically, you know what i hear a lot? >> jimmy: what? ♪ balls in your mouth balls in your mouth ♪ >> i get that all the time. >> jimmy: it's a great protest song. [ laughter ] i think bob dylan wrote that. >> i think -- >> jimmy: i think he did. i'm not sure. i could be wrong. >> i don't know why it's attributed it to me but -- >> jimmy: yeah. >> it's fantastic. >> jimmy: but they do like singing that to you, yeah? >> yeah, they do. >> jimmy: there was rumors on the internet about "anchorman 2." >> it's happening! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: fantastic. unbelievable. get up! get up, come on! ♪ now, that is amazing. now, is it really happening? >> actually, it's not. no, it's not happening. [ laughter ] [ sad tuba ] [ laughter ]
that is so perfect. oh, wow. i want you to just follow me around. [ laughter ] awesome. >> jimmy: he's that good, yeah. >> no, they want to -- you know, they had an idea, adam mckay and will. >> jimmy: brilliant. >> had an idea and it was sort of -- we were sworn to secrecy about it, but adam just mentioned it in the press, so it's sort of out there. the idea was that we would do it as a broadway musical, with the original cast and -- [ laughter ] seriously, and then, after -- and sort of as the marx brothers did their stage show, we would develop bits and things within the show and then, at the end of the broadway run, we would go shoot a movie. that was the idea. >> jimmy: i think it would be -- we would be onboard for that. >> i would love to do it but -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that is fun. >> yeah. >> jimmy: has that ever been done since the marx brothers? >> i don't know. i don't know if it ever has, and we all wanted to do it.
but they just can't seem to connect with whatever they need to do so -- maybe. maybe someday. but we're all down for it. >> jimmy: that's right, the marx brothers used to do that. what other comic -- comedic influences do you have? >> wow. well -- >> jimmy: mark brothers being one. >> well, marx brothers, peter sellers, steve martin, you know. i'm a big steve martin fan. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's amazing. i love peter sellers too, yeah. you're a -- now you're a comedic influence to a lot of young comedians too now. it's kind of -- >> yes, yes, i am. yeah. [ laughter ] there's gonna be a lot of really, really crappy comedy the next generation, based off mine. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you forced me to say that. you did not. you are one of the nicest guys in the business right now. >> it's true. >> jimmy: i have to say thank you so much. [ laughter ] yeah, i know, really. you did a cool thing. i'd love for you to just tell me the story about -- you bought a store or something -- >> oh, yeah, my wife and i bought a general store in massachusetts. [ cheers and applause ] it was -- you know, i grew up near one of these things.
it was called boker's general store. you know, penny candy and they had everything in there. and this place -- it's been around for 150 years, and we were just worried that it would be turned into a real estate office or something else. >> jimmy: yeah. >> so we bought it and preserved it. >> jimmy: and what kind -- and look, i have a picture of the store right here. this is it, right here. >> that's it. >> jimmy: that's so cool. [ audience ohs ] and so nice of you. and you bought it and you go -- this is because it's something you liked and -- >> it's very homespun, yes. >> jimmy: but i mean, what are they -- >> penny candy and -- >> jimmy: i love that. >> yeah. i mean, it's pretty cute. >> jimmy: penny candy, tools -- [ light laughter ] i'm making up things that they have. >> no, we do. we have like -- we have jam and we have -- we have all -- it's -- >> jimmy: come on, that is pretty -- [ laughter ] that is pretty cute. >> it's pretty ridiculously cute. >> jimmy: that's really awesome. that's great. i just love that you did that. that's such a cool thing. 'cause i know a lot of your background. a lot of people that worked with you -- "second city." you and -- >> we all bought general stores. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you all bought general stores? >> yeah. everyone i worked with at "second city" now owns their own 150-year-old general store. fantastic.
>> jimmy: was that like a thing that you all -- you made a pact. i've seen this movie. it started on broadway. >> let's all go buy general stores. it's the cool thing to do. >> jimmy: everyone's doing it. i have mine. everyone's -- >> did you buy your general store yet? >> jimmy: of course i did, yes. last week. it's fantastic. >> how old is yours? >> jimmy: uh, 120. >> really? mine's 150. >> jimmy: oh, that's cool. >> ferrell -- will ferrell -- he's buying 175-year-old general store. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: showoff! >> i know. >> jimmy: what a showoff. but who was in -- who'd you have "second city" with? it was amy sedaris -- >> amy sedaris, stephen colbert -- >> jimmy: stephen colbert -- >> paul dinello, yeah. >> jimmy: really funny people. >> yeah. >> jimmy: so you're really good at improvising and stuff like that. and i was just wondering if we could maybe do an improv game. >> sure. >> jimmy: i don't know if you've done it in awhile but -- >> i'd love to. >> jimmy: all right, do you know any games off the top of your head? >> um, we could do something -- a good two person thing is called a one-word story. >> jimmy: okay. >> so you start with a word, and then i will say a word, and we will create a story together, just using one word each. >> jimmy: okay, this is exciting. >> it is exciting. >> jimmy: okay. >> we're gonna blow their minds with this. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right, should i start? >> yeah, sure.
>> jimmy: okay. once. >> there. >> jimmy: was. >> a. >> jimmy: little. >> boy. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: who. >> liked. >> jimmy: general. >> custer. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: let's just end it right there. that's a great story. more with steve carell when we come back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [st in stinntrumental music ]ru [ instrumental music ]
fish: see? you're on the bright side already-- green tea with citrus, sunny day. so...if it's cool with you, i'm gonna go for a quick swim. heh. be right back. [grunts] announcer: lipton--drink on the bright side. fish: hey! so sure i already knew the salad and breadsticks were endless. but the other night even the pasta was endless. whoa, whoa, wait. so i get to choose any sauce and pasta then just keep trying them in different combinations? yea, nice, huh? yea, real nice. announcer: the never ending pasta bowl is back. with delicious new sauces like hearty chianti three meat. and creamy parmesan portobello. combine any sauce and pasta, then try other combinations just $8.95. plus unlimited salad and breadsticks. and how's your pasta, sir? never ending. announcer: olive garden. when you're here, you're family.
what makes a hershey's bar pure? ["melt with you" playing] pure fun. pure joy. pure delicious chocolate. pure hershey's. don't worry about that. i switched to sprint's $69.99 plan, so i wasn't charged extra. [ buzzes ] okay, i just got your breakup e-mail. e-mails are unlimited, too. and look -- i just changed my facebook status to "single." but internet's also unlimited. [ cellphone buzzing ] deaf, hard-of-hearing and people with speech disabilities, access www.sprintrelay.com. yeah. [ male announcer ] why just talk with at&t and verizon?
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we're back with the very funny steve carell. "dinner for schmucks" -- very funny movie. >> oh, thanks. >> jimmy: i loved it, and you got your jay roach -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: directing. jay roach, "meet the parents." >> he's fantastic. nicest guy in the world. paul rudd, zach galifianakis, jemaine clement, lucy punch. >> jimmy: lucy punch is great. yeah, jemaine -- we had jemaine on last night. he's very, very good. now, paul rudd. this is, like, your third movie you've done with that guy. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you must be pals with that guy. >> we are. he and i just have an unspoken thing between us. i trust him implicitly. funniest guy. he's great. just a great guy. >> jimmy: and the basis of the movie is that some -- paul rudd's boss has a dinner where he invites who can bring the biggest idiot to dinner. >> right. and i'm the guy he -- >> jimmy: paul rudd brings.
>> he's having this moral dilemma because he's not a bad guy, but he wants to move up in the company, so he invited me to this dinner. because whoever wins gets the biggest promotion. >> jimmy: yeah, and you do such a good job. >> at being an idiot? >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. >> thank you. >> jimmy: fantastically done. it was really, really well-done. you must be -- because i've seen you in "date night" -- that's with tina fey. and at the end you have bloopers. i love bloopers at the end of things. anyways, uh -- but i saw you -- do you really break up a lot, or do you break other people up? >> i break -- they just edit it out. when you -- obviously, when you mess up and laugh -- i do, i mean, i laugh. >> jimmy: you do? >> yeah. >> jimmy: working with will ferrell, he always used to do it to me. >> he made me laugh a lot. we were doing something on "anchorman," and it wasn't actually in the movie, but he was berating this really elderly guy -- [ laughter ] and it was -- the news team had busted into the wrong house. he's like, "hey, old man! come on! i'm gonna rip out your colostomy bag!" or whatever he was saying. [ laughter ] and i was standing right over his shoulder, and so i was on
camera with him, and i was dying, trying not to laugh because i didn't want to ruin his take. >> jimmy: and you're just standing still just sweating. >> just crying, crying tears. >> jimmy: i love it, i love it. god, because you are so funny in this movie, and there's so many little things you were like, oh, my god. like david williams from -- >> he's great. >> jimmy: "little britain" is in this movie. he's very funny. you have a good scene that we're about to show a clip of. but, i was just -- the whole movie is so funny. >> thanks. >> jimmy: jemaine is off the charts. and you really do a great job. here's a clip from "dinner for schmucks." >> where are you from? >> we are from switzerland. >> barry, you know what? we're gonna focus on business right now. >> switzerland, i love switzerland. it is one of my favorite countries. i love your army knives with the toothpicks. and your cheese. does the cheese come out of the cow with the holes? [ laughter ] our countries are not enemies. they are friends. we are friends. >> you have been to switzerland? >> no, but i have a friend who drives a volvo. [ laughter ] and i speak a little of your
language. [ mimicking swedish chef ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: there you go. [ cheers and applause ] "dinner for schmucks" is in theaters everywhere this friday, july 30th. oh, no, next friday. next friday, july 30th. either way, go see "dinner for schmucks." steve carell, everybody. selena gomez joins us next. i love the mice, by the way. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ horns honking ]
♪ [ beep ] ♪ ♪ [ applause ] ♪ [ male announcer ] the nation's fastest mobile broadband network. at&t. rethink possible. actually it's a mike's hard lemonade stand. okay. what's up with the mike's hard lemonade stand? mike's is lemonade and alcohol, and we're at a tailgate party. it's a nice change of pace from beer. well, i already brought beer for everyone, but i guess i could take some mike's too. all right. you got it. he forgot to pay. you tell him.
[ male announcer ] don't forget the mike's. you know, i just got this new chase checking account. really? yea, check this out. there's no deposit slips or envelopes. you just take the check and--psshht--right in there. now chase atms take the worry out of making a deposit. so that's it? they got it? duh. oh it's on the receipt. it also works with cash. really? do you have a 20, or... yea! psshht! voila. that's cool. ok let's go. hey, wait. where's my 20? hey, what's up, dude? chase checking. welcome to banking with chase. chase what matters.
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. our next guest this evening stars in an emmy award-winning tv series. her album "kiss and tell" is a smash hit, and she's one of the stars of the big family film "ramona and beezus," which is theaters everywhere this friday. please welcome one of our faves, selena gomez, everybody! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ happy birthday happy birthday, baby oh, i love you so 18 candles ♪ >> jimmy: happy, happy, happy birthday. >> thank you. >> jimmy: it's someone's birthday tomorrow. >> thank you. >> jimmy: happy birthday. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you very much. >> jimmy: 18 years old. >> i know. >> jimmy: 18 tomorrow. >> i know. >> jimmy: wow, that's a big year. >> that's kind of weird.
>> jimmy: yeah. >> i'm old. >> jimmy: no. oh, my gosh. you shouldn't feel old. geez. but, what -- are you excited to be 18? >> yeah. >> jimmy: that's a big year, isn't it? >> yeah, my step-dad said nothing is gonna change, though. >> jimmy: he kind of bummed you out? >> he's like, "yeah, same dating rules, same curfew." i'm like, "all right." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, same curfew, yeah. now, i understand you have a treat that you want me to try, here. >> yes. >> jimmy: you brought me something. now, it's called "texas popcorn." >> this is my version of "texas popcorn," yes. >> jimmy: okay, now what -- do you have -- a bag of popcorn -- >> okay. >> jimmy: all right, and i have a bowl. >> okay. >> jimmy: i have a tray with hot sauce -- what is this, here? >> pickle juice. >> jimmy: pickle juice. >> and tabasco. >> jimmy: all right, very, very good. salt, pickle juice, tabasco sauce. all right, so what -- >> now, the pickle juice is optional, so you don't have to use it. but basically, you get tabasco sauce. >> jimmy: okay. >> and it depends on if you like it hot, and my family does. so then, you put a lot in the bag. >> jimmy: okey-doke. >> you just tell me when to stop and i'll -- >> jimmy: i would probably stop, yeah. [ laughter ] >> okay. and then, you put salt in it. >> jimmy: yeah, that's good for me. [ laughter ] >> and then, mix it up like this. >> jimmy: yeah.
shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it. >> mm-hm. and you eat it, and then you dip it in the pickle juice. >> jimmy: you dip it in the pickle juice? >> yes. >> jimmy: so one at a time? >> yes. >> jimmy: gosh, i haven't eaten one popcorn kernel at a time since i was 18. >> well, you can do this and then dip it. >> jimmy: oh, okay. so you can get, like, a bunch, all right. i'm gonna try it with the pickle juice. >> you ever notice that i always eat on talk shows? i eat a lot. >> jimmy: you do? >> yeah. >> jimmy: well, that's all right. you can do that. so let me dip this in here. here we go. >> it's really good. >> jimmy: that's really phenomenal, by the way. it's my new favorite popcorn. >> you're lying, but thank you. >> jimmy: i swear. i really like it a lot. >> it's really good. >> jimmy: that's fantastic. >> thank you. >> jimmy: last time you were here, i made you spit gum out of your mouth and catch it in -- >> i know. i'm such a class act. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you really are. oh, come on. it was the -- can i -- can you catch popcorn in your mouth? >> let's try it. you have to do it, though, too. >> jimmy: all right. >> ready?
one, two, three. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: that feels good. >> i know. >> jimmy: and we both did it first try. >> we are so accomplished people. >> jimmy: oh, my god, we are so classy. [ laughter ] i got to talk about -- you have a clothing line. you're very, very busy. >> thank you. >> jimmy: you have a clothing line out. >> yes. >> jimmy: dream out loud. >> mm-hm. >> jimmy: it's in kmart stores everywhere, right? >> yes, exclusively sold at kmart. >> jimmy: and look at you on the cover of "women's wear daily." >> thank you. >> jimmy: look at you. [ cheers and applause ] looking adorable. that's a big paper. that's a big weekly thing for fashion. you got the cover of that, that means you're in. >> i was extremely honored. i really am passionate about it. i love my clothes, and they're all really affordable. that tunic right there that i'm wearing is actually only $12.99. >> jimmy: really? >> and the hat that i'm wearing is only $8. so i just really wanted -- >> jimmy: i wore this yesterday. [ laughter ] >> yeah. i just really wanted to make stuff that was fun for my fans and easy. >> jimmy: how cool is that? you entrepreneur, you. that's so good, yeah, because you get that. you're on tour as well. you're working on another record. >> mm-hm. >> jimmy: and now, "ramona and beezus."
>> yes. >> jimmy: now, this is based on beverly cleary books. i knew those books glowing up. i don't think she's ever made her stories into a movie, has she? >> no, no, no, these books have been around for over 50 years, and beverly cleary never wanted to make a movie. and they fought for, like, ten years or so to get this made into a project. and the reason why she actually decided to make this movie was because she wanted to be around while it was made into a film 'cause she's 93 years old she was -- made a cameo in the movie. >> jimmy: no way! >> yeah, so, it was an honor to bring these books to life for the first time. >> jimmy: well, you're great in it. and the girl who plays ramona is fantastic as well. >> she's so sweet. >> jimmy: yeah, and what is her name? >> her name is joey king, and she's 10 years old, and it's amazing. >> jimmy: 10 years old? joey king, yeah, yeah. and she's good. and does she ever ask you for advice, like -- 'cause you were a child actor, and she probably asked you -- >> i actually ask her for advice. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you get -- from her? >> yes. >> jimmy: from joey? really? >> yeah. >> jimmy: like what? >> like personal, like -- i went through a break-up before i went to shoot the movie, and i
got asked out on a date, so i went on a date. and the next day she comes up to me and she goes, "sweetie, don't you think it's a little too soon to be dating?" [ laughter ] "i mean, you just got your heart broken." like, and then she goes, "you seem a little desperate." i'm like, "my gosh!" >> jimmy: really? >> i know. and she was like, "you need to let him call you." she's 10 years old. i was like, "oh, my gosh! okay." >> jimmy: "hold on, i got to take this call from my agent." yeah, like, "joey." >> but she -- but she was right. i listened to her. >> jimmy: that is so cute. that's awesome. >> very sweet. >> jimmy: yeah, she came backstage, she was like a little yoda. >> she is. [ laughter ] i'm not kidding, she is. >> jimmy: good advice all around. we have a clip from the film here, "ramona and beezus." selena gomez. >> royal peanut butter. there's a bit of magic in every jar. >> is that one of your favorites? that's a racket we got to get you into because those tv kids make millions. >> do you think i can be in a commercial like that? >> sure, you'd make a great frog.
>> hey! >> hold still. i'm almost done. >> picture perfect, right? >> be realistic, ramona. this is a curling iron, not a magic wand. but, all things considered, i'd say you've never looked better. >> jimmy: there you go. [ cheers and applause ] see, taking care of her. i love it. selena gomez, our good pal. go see "ramona and beezus" this weekend. come back whenever you want, pal, please. >> thank you. >> jimmy: halestorm performs next. there they are in the bud light lime green room. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ people! look at you!
texting...blogging... all this technology, but you're still banking like pilgrims! it's time for new school banking, bubbie. interest plus savings at capitalone.com. why earn bupkis, when your savings can earn three times the national average!! three times the national average!!! new school banking at capital one bank. with interest plus savings, go to capitalone.com!!!!! what's in your wallet? somebody help me down.
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. our next guests are making their late night debut. they've scored two rock radio hits from their self-titled debut album. they're here tonight to perform their new single, "familiar taste of poison." please welcome halestorm! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ drink the wine my darling, you said
♪ holding onto the sweet escape is always laced ♪ ♪ with a familiar taste ofof popoisonon ♪ ♪ i don't wanna be saved i don't wanna be sober i want you on my mind in my dreams ♪ ♪ behind these eyes that i wanna wake up no, not this time ♪ ♪ i breathe you in again just to feel you underneath my skin ♪