tv Late Night With Jimmy Fallon NBC May 5, 2011 3:05am-4:00am PDT
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, what's happening, everybody? that's what i'm talking about. that's a great crowd. welcome, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] welcome, everybody. thank you so much. welcome. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon." i'm jimmy fallon and if you don't believe me, here's my birth certificate. [ laughter and applause ] sex, question mark? what's that? [ laughter ] president obama released his birth certificate today proving once and for all that he was born in the united states. he has a certificate clearly shows he was born on the all-american street of punahou highway at the kapiolani hospital in oahu. [ cheers ] donald trump says he still wants to look more closely at obama's birth certificate to make sure it's real. incidentally, president obama
said the same exact thing about donald trump's hair. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] check this out. president obama returned to new york today for his third visit in less than a month. you can tell obama's becoming a new yorker. today, he changed his slogan from, "yes, we can," to, "what do you think, we can't?" [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] speaking of new york, there's a play in new york city about the life of lindsay lohan. the actress who plays lindsay totally stole the show, plus her gold necklace, three rings, and a bracelet. [ laughter and applause ] they're looking for them right now. the big tv news. nbc's new singing show "the voice" had better ratings last night than "glee" and "dancing with the stars." [ cheers and applause ] nbc executives say they have no idea how this happened, but they're looking into fixing it right away. [ laughter ]
listen to this, this is kind of funny. an elderly couple in pennsylvania received a u.p.s. package by mistake with more than $20,000 worth of marijuana inside. [ cheers ] that explains why today we were like, "dude, when we take our dentures out, do you think they'll, like, talk to each other?" [ laughter ] a little space work there. 4:20. it's dinnertime. 4:20. [ laughter ] finally, i heard that britney spears is banning cookie dough ice cream and alcohol from her new tour. or as britney told her kids, "breakfast is cancelled, y'all!" ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots! ♪
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: very nice right there. sounds great. that's robert glasper sitting in with the roots tonight. [ cheers and applause ] his latest album, "double booked." you can see him performing with his trio tomorrow in new york. thanks for being here, buddy. >> thank you for having me. appreciate it. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it was great. that was amazing. we have a great show tonight, you guys. from "saturday night live" our buddy seth meyers is stopping by. [ cheers and applause ] with his brother josh for a sibling rematch. i love those guys. host of the top morning radio show in new york city and throughout the country a very, very funny guy, elvis duran is here! [ cheers and applause ] i love this dude. he's great.
[ applause ] and we got some great music from dispatch, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] it's gonna be great. it's a party! all right. it's time for "late night" hashtags. here we go. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: these are lists on twitter where we give you the topic and you send in the tweet. so yesterday i went on twitter and started a hashtag called "don't judge me." i asked you guys at home to tweet up some crazy or weird thing that you do, or something that makes you want to say, "hey, don't judge me." okay? we got thousands of tweets. i was watching them come in all night. it was great. i thought i'd share some of my favorite "don't judge me tweets" from you guys. here we go. this first one is from @p.m.murphy. he says, "i hold out a hand at automatic doors and pretend they're opening because of the force." [ light laughter ] i've done that. you feel like yoda. "open you will.
this is from @pinkbutta. [ laughter ] >> steve: pinkbutta? >> jimmy: pinkbutta. she says, "i make other people unravel the biuit container for me because it always scares the crap out of me when it pops open." [ laughter ] it can be frightening, actually. yeah -- this one's from @calebhawk.e he says, "when i watch "the muppets" i like to imagine the puppeteer controlling miss piggy is just as fat and sexy." [ laughter ] [ audience ohs ] might be. >> steve: i'm judging him. i'm sorry. >> jimmy: yeah. this one's from @alexanderavees. she says, "i hoist my cat into the air whenever i hear 'the circle of life' playing." [ laughter ] ♪ the circle of life en-ya! this is from @fabtuftqualino. "when people in movies go underwater, i hold my breath to see if i could survive as long
as they did." [ laughter ] i'm going to start doing that. "it's not real!" this one's from @foxmontana. he says, "whenever i'm in new york city and walk over a sewer grate, i look down in hoping to catch a glimpse of a ninja turtle." [ laughter ] this one's from @selenacaso. she says, "i have a ritual for eating gummi bears. i bite the head to kill it quickly. [ laughter ] then the torso, then the feet, because those taste best." [ laughter ] very humane. [ laughter ] this is from @twerp1960. her don't judge me tweet, "i yard sale without my teeth to get better deals. "i'm asking $4." [ laughter ] >> steve: "i guess i'll give you a deal." just give her the money. >> jimmy: i guess people feel bad for her? she has no teeth? >> steve: i'm thinking she has no teeth for sympathy.
"honey, i'm going to bargain with this lady." >> jimmy: oh, okay. i was assuming it was her yard sale. >> steve: oh, she goes to yard sales to get deals? >> jimmy: maybe. she takes her teeth out and goes to yard sales with no teeth. >> steve: i'd go, "come on." >> jimmy: "that hot dog machine --" i sound like sandler. [ laughter ] this one's from @brendandempsey. "i'm 20 years old and still hide in the clothing racks in department stores." [ laughter ] that's fun. fun thing to do. the last one here from @zela270. she sa, "i used to think the lyrics to eric clapton's 'layla' was 'gay love.'" ♪ gay love got me on my knees gay love♪ [ laughter ] there you have it. that was tonight's "late night" hashtags. check out more of our favorites, go to latenightwithjimmyfallon.com we'll be right back with karate pinata. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ male announcer ] this is lara.
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>> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, i've got no need to feed. i'm anti-d-r-u-g-g-i-e. my body is healthy. my rhymes make me wealthy, and the funky bunch helps me to bring you a show with no intoxication. so come on now. let's play karate pinata. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: this is karate pinata. time honored sport of kicking pinatas while blindfolded. [ laughter ] behold, the fiesta ring. [ gong ] i am your sensai, jimmy fallon. [ gong ] now please welcome our three audience contestants. come on. ♪ [ applause ] [ cheers ] >> jimmy: welcome to the karate pinata dojo. what is your name where are you from?
>> my name is ron, i'm from brooklyn, new york. >> jimmy: brooklyn! >> brooklyn! [ cheers and applause ] >> my name is carolina. i'm from the bronx. >> jimmy: caroline is from the bronx. >> carolina. >> jimmy: carolina. >> there you go. >> jimmy: very good. >> brian from baldwin, new york. >> jimmy: yeah. [ scattered applause ] he means business. hey, here's how the game works. to your left you'll see four confetti filled pinatas -- each of which bear a striking resemblance to four current celebrities in the news. there's prince william, gary busey, wonder woman and larry dallas from "three's company." [ light laughter ] now, at one at a time you'll take your place under the fiesta ring. when play starts the pinatas will slowly spin, and you'll have 20 seconds to break as many as you can. whoever breaks the most wins the grand prize, and boy, what a prize it is. steve, tell them what it is. >> steve: well, jimmy, tonight's winner will be taking home $300 worth of old el paso taco dinner kits. why settle for one taco when you can have 1,000. season, sauce and stuff them in your face, bro. jimmy! >> jimmy: thank you. thank you, steve.
thank you, choir. [ gong ] i see that you've attained the mark of the blood cheer. [ chanting ] [ light laughter ] now, a few things before we start. first, you can only break the pinatas using your karate kicks. you cannot use your hands. you cannot use your body. also, keep in mind, in the event of a tie, the audience will vote based on kicking awesomeness. it's important that your kicks awesome. any questions before we begin? >> nope. >> jimmy: very, very good. looks like you're thinking of a question. >> i -- i lost it. >> jimmy: okay, good. all right. well, you're up now. so go take your places, put on your blindfolds. let's get -- let's get the fiesta ring spinning. you got 20 seconds on the clock. can you see anything? >> absolutely nothing. >> jimmy: all right. ready. >> kick! >> jimmy: kick! ♪
>> jimmy: whoa! ♪ >> jimmy: all right. very good. very good. nice job. nice job. take off your blindfold. come on back. [ cheers and applause ] nice job. you did good. let's take a look that in slow motion, everybody. check it out. ♪ bang! that was a money one, right there. that was awesome. ♪ yeah. that was it right there. it was fantastic. very, very good. ah, kicking like a true master. steve, how many pinatas did he break? >> steve: you broke -- one! ♪ >> jimmy: contestant number two, you are up. we've replaced the broken pinata with a brand new, freshie over there. so remember, you can't use your hand or your body. >> okay. >> jimmy: go take your place,
and put on your blindfold, please. [ light laughter ] ready? set -- oh, let's start the fiesta spinning, please. [ light laughter ] ready, set -- kick! ♪ >> jimmy: oh, whoa! ♪ oh! ♪ all right. all right. stop, stop. stop. come over here. get over here! [ applause ] oh, my god. you did a great job. let's take a look that in slow motion, okay? ♪ there you are. very nice. look at this. that was a great move right there. [ laughter ] bang!
but didn't really do the -- didn't really break the -- skin there. i don't think. yeah. nice form. both graceful and deadly. steve, how many pinatas did she break? >> steve: hm, zero. >> jimmy: sorry. sorry. contestant number three, are you ready? >> i'm ready. >> jimmy: you're up. very, very good. [ laughter ] go over there. concentrate on your breathing. use what you've learned. this is your time. start the fiesta ring now. 20 seconds on the clock. [ laughter ] ready -- set -- kick! ♪ >> jimmy: whoa! ♪ >> jimmy: very nice. very nice.
take your blindfold off and come on back. [ cheers ] who was that guy? [ applause ] you had a vendetta against that blue guy. let's look what you did in slow motion here. ♪ you just kept kicking that one over and over again. ah, that would have been a solid one there. but then, you kind of -- ah! you cheated! he used his arm there a little bit, right? you couldn't help doing the karate move. well, there you go. hig-mo, how many pinatas did he break? ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: two! >> jimmy: wow. that's fantastic. that means we have a winner right there. congratulations! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] here's your prize right there. and, of course, no one goes home empty-handed. you guys will be taking home an official "late night with jimmy fallon" black belt. [ laughter ] thanks everyone for playing karate pinata, jimmy fallon. we'll be right back with seth and josh meyers!
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. our first guest is the head writer of "saturday night live" and anchor of "weekend update." this saturday he's going to headline the annual white house correspondents' dinner. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome seth meyers! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how's it going, buddy? >> good. how are you? >> jimmy: doing great. thanks for coming back on the show. >> it's great to be back. i love being here. >> jimmy: dude, white house correspondents' dinner? >> white house correspondents' dinner on saturday, yeah. >> jimmy: big deal. >> big deal, yeah. >> jimmy: are you nervous? >> i am nervous, yeah. i was a little nervous to begin with and then the minute i
accepted, brian williams, our friend brian williams -- >> jimmy: bri-wi. >> yeah, bri-wi. [ light laughter ] he sent me an email being like, "toughest room in the business. no man comes out unscathed. even the knees of brave achilles would go to jelly were he to stand behind that podium. let me know if i can help." >> jimmy: thanks a lot. >> here's how you could help -- lose my email. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: exactly. >> making me feel terrible. >> jimmy: a lot of people -- your parents are going to go too, right? >> my parents are coming. this is really exciting. i'm worried because obama speaks first, and he kills. >> jimmy: he's really good. i was at this last year. he destroyed. >> then i have to follow obama. so even if i do just as good, it's like, "yeah, but he's also the president." [ laughter ] [ talking over one another ] >> my biggest fear isn't bombing. my biggest fear is like -- because my mom's there. my mom's laughed at everything i've ever said. i can't play to silence. i could play to one woman laughing. [ light laughter ] then afterwards people would be like, "who's that crazy woman?" they'd be like, "it was his mom." [ laughter ] and they'd be like, "oh, that is so sad." that's my biggest fear.
>> jimmy: are they going to meet him? >> my parents are going to meet the president beforehand. >> jimmy: that's cool. >> it's great. i'm a little worried, because my dad is very opinionated. i feel like he's the kind of guy who would talk to obama for like five minutes, and be like, "hey, you know what i'd do in the middle east -- [ laughter ] it's easier than you think." >> jimmy: now, every time we have you on the show. >> yes. >> jimmy: we like to play this game, the sibling-wed game. >> the sibling-wed game. >> jimmy: this is what we do with your brother josh meyers. >> yes. >> jimmy: how many years apart? >> two years apart. >> jimmy: two years apart. we have josh come out and we see how well you guys know each other. >> yes. >> jimmy: all right, well, let's do it right now. please welcome josh meyers, everybody. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: there they are. the brothers. the brothers meyers. josh, how are you, my friend? >> i'm very well. >> jimmy: that's a nice tie clip you got there. >> thanks. it's a key. >> jimmy: yeah? >> yeah. >> jimmy: like an old timey key. >> yeah, but it's very shiny, so it's like a new, old thing. >> jimmy: so it could be worth
more money. we don't have a sound-proof booth. >> what? >> jimmy: yeah, i know. so what we do is we have these noise cancelling headphones and this little eye thing. here we go. i'm going to ask the questions. you do the questions first. sorry, steve. i'm getting screwed up with the all right. you both know how the game works. i'm going to ask you each questions, and then we'll see if your answers match up. here we go. you take these headphones. right here, josh. you put them on. i don't know if it's playing. >> i'll make sure it's playing. >> jimmy: yeah. i don't want you cheating. >> i'm very, very good with these things. >> yeah, i'm also -- i like rules. >> jimmy: you like rules? >> we would never cheat. >> no, no. >> okay. we're good. >> jimmy: very, very good. josh, can you hear me? very good. okay. ready, seth? here we go. i know the two of you went to college together. >> we did. >> jimmy: what's the angriest you ever got at josh in college? >> oh, god. i was angry at him a lot in college. all right, this is like a double thing. my brother was in a production of "hair," the musical "hair" in college. >> jimmy: you were just mad he was in "hair?" >> a little. but a couple things happened. first, they were moving all the risers, like the seats, in the back of a u-haul truck and there wasn't room to sit in the front
of the u-haul truck, so josh was in the back with the risers and they fell over and broke his leg. so i was mad at that, because no one -- you should never get in the back of a truck that has things that could fall over. so he was in a wheelchair. he broke his leg so bad he was in a wheelchair. and so he couldn't be in "hair." but he goes to the first performance of "hair" and when people do a production of "hair" -- i don't know if anyone's been in a production of "hair." they turn into super hippies. they're like, "we're all in this together, man." they like -- it gets to people's heads. so josh was in this wheelchair and the first production of "hair" on friday night, they put his -- they were like, "you've got to be in the show. we're not going to do it without you." they put his wheelchair up on these risers and he was, like, so happy and at the end of the show, they were all crying because they were doing this production of "hair" together. next day, the fire marshall comes in. he's like, "you can't have a dude in a wheelchair up in the sky. [ laughter ] it violates every fire code. if there's a fire, that guy's just a dead person." that was the day my mom and i were going see the show and josh was so mad at the fire marshall,
he angrily wheeled out of the building. he was in full "hair" costume. he had really long hair and a vest and he wasn't wearing a shirt but he had a tattoo of a sun on his chest. so he was so mad he went outside. my mom and i watched the first act of "hair." my mom miserable because my brother's angry. so we go out at intermission and i find him lying on his back in the sun. i'm like, "you got to come back inside." he's like, "i know. i'm so stupid. i totally overreacted." he came back in. everything was okay. the best part was he got super sunburned from lying out in the sun, except for the sun on his chest. [ laughter ] and he's so pale. he's so pale. he gets burned so bad. he got super red except for this white sun on his chest. i was like, "that's god marking you as a jerk." >> jimmy: very good. "as a jerk." okay. here we go. if the meyers' family had a song what would it be? >> we went on a lot of road
trips, and i would say probably "graceland" by paul simon. that was an album we all liked. >> jimmy: okay. >> although, i have to say, we recently -- we play hearts a lot and listen to albums and we listen to "graceland." we listened to that song a million times and know like 11% of the lyrics. [ laughter ] and we sing it really confidently. [ laughter ] so it's a lot like -- everybody, all four of us -- graceland, graceland. then two people -- then all four, graceland and then all of us -- ♪ then it gets really loud at "graceland." >> jimmy: very good. very good. you want to tap him on the shoulder. all right. josh, ready? >> yeah. >> jimmy: all right. here we go. first question, you and seth went to college together. >> yeah. >> jimmy: what was the angriest -- >> northwestern. >> jimmy: -- seth ever got at you? what was the angriest seth has ever been? >> ah --
[ light laughter ] when i stole the car but i didn't steal the car? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what? what is that story? >> he did steal the car. >> no, we shared a car. [ laughter ] and i dated girl, my freshman year in college and i like -- she cheated on me. it was like my first real love and i was crushed, and i went to his apartment and i took the car and i drove from evanston, illinois to okemos, michigan where we lived when i was like 3 to, until i was 5, because i wanted to go somewhere where i could remember being happy. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's so sad! >> here's the thing. it had snowed the night before. i walked out of my apartment. it was literally just a square where there was no snow. so i was like, "oh, the car got stolen." >> it was pre-cell phone. we didn't have cell phones. >> jimmy: you thought the car was stolen. >> i called the police. [ laughter ] and then i called my dad because i knew i would get in trouble because the car got stolen. and i was like, "the car -- i
got bad news. the car is stolen. he was like, "i have worse news. your brother's lost his mind." [ laughter ] 'cause he called him. >> i called. i called from a bagel joint. >> jimmy: you didn't get that one. so how about this one. josh, if the meyers family had a song -- oh, i should actually tell you. the angriest he got was when you got sunburned when you did "hair" and you wheeled out -- stormed out in a wheelchair. >> oh yeah, but that was kind of awesome. [ laughter ] i mean, i had like a sun burned into me. >> they know. >> jimmy: that wasn't it. that wasn't awesome. if the meyers family had a song, what would it be? >> um -- "mommy come back." [ laughter ] [ sad tuba ] >> jimmy: "mommy come back?" what is going on? did your mom leave you? >> "graceland" by paul simon. >> jimmy: what is "mommy come back?" >> our dad would always go away for business, but once our
mother was out of town. we wrote a song. it was ours. it was -- ♪ mommy come back mommy we need you mommy come back mommy we need you ♪ ♪ et cetera, et cetera et cetera ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, my god. "mommy come back?" >> yeah. >> jimmy: oh my god. >> she holds it all together. >> jimmy: all right, switch spots. switch spots. >> how are we doing right now? >> jimmy: right now, you got no points. not at all. [ laughter ] >> nope? all right. >> jimmy: seth, this is all for the win here, buddy. >> "mommy come back" is the "graceland" of made up songs. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: says you. all right, here we go. is it on? very, very good. all right. josh, have you two ever physically fought? if so, who won? >> yes. me. but we -- we fought once.
we had this, like, a foldout couch in our basement that had no, like, metal. no bars. it was just foam and it was sort of the greatest play surface ever. but i don't know why we got so mad at each other, but he had a couple friends over and they organized like an official, "you guys are going to fight." like -- he got -- in this corner and i got in that corner and, like, his friend greg henderson was the referee. he was like, "all right, three, two, one," and we went in, and started grappling, and i grabbed his foot and my hand kind of went right off his foot and his big toenail came clean off and it was over. [ audience ohs ] it was over like that. it was like -- it was like a, like, much promoted -- >> jimmy: you ripped his toenail off? >> -- heavyweight title fight that was like one punch and done. >> jimmy: that's crazy. oh my god. >> i was also terrified that i -- i mean, it's super gross. i wasn't pleased with myself. >> jimmy: next question. what skill do you have that seth is most jealous of?
>> there has to be a lot. [ laughter ] has to be a lot of those. um -- he can but it's not good. like he can't whistle. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right. >> very late in life he learned how to snap, but he still can, like -- [ laughter ] -- barely whistle. >> jimmy: all right. >> when he learned how to snap, he was like -- raw fingers. whistling -- >> jimmy: all right. tap on him. seth, this is very interesting. >> oh no. it's very good. >> jimmy: here we go. for the win, okay. >> okay. >> jimmy: have you two ever physically fought? if so, who won? >> well, josh -- josh has, like, chased me a bunch. like i would push him and then he chased me. i remember when you grabbed a chair once, chased me to my room. i closed the door. then he threw the chair at the door and put a hole in my door. >> a very clean hole. >> a very clean hole.
our parents were on vacation. then we put a bumper sticker on my door. [ laughter ] >> and i remember my dad being like, "who do you take me for?" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> but i mostly just remember being pursued more than fighting. >> jimmy: you don't remember the couch fight where he ripped your toenail off? >> yes. [ laughter ] >> it was a very short fight. >> again, it was a very short fight, but that's awful. >> jimmy: yeah, that's awful. it's an awful story. >> running away isn't fighting. >> well, once you get your toenail ripped off -- [ laughter ] -- you make tracks. >> jimmy: "you make tracks!" all right, here we go. seth, what skill does josh have that you're most jealous of? >> um -- i guess he's an excellent cook. josh is an excellent cook and i don't cook. >> jimmy: can you maybe -- can you maybe -- can you maybe -- [ whistling ] whistle something for us? [ laughter ] >> well, not now. [ sad tuba ] >> jimmy: just do it. give us a little whistle. [ whistling ] [ laughter ]
>> jimmy: very, very good. you guys are tied with zero points. congratulations. you're both losers. very, very good. i love you guys. [ cheers and applause ] josh and seth meyers! they're the greatest. we'll be right back with elvis duran, you guys! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ lysol knows a real clean isn't just something you see... ... it's something you smell. new lysol no mess automatic toilet bowl cleaner not only cleans your toilet with every flush, but also freshens your entire bathroom. so even in between deep cleans, it's as fresh as any room in your home. for tips on a healthy home, visit lysol.com/missionforhealth. there is a rhythm of the seasons, so we've developed styles of beer to accompany that. we brew octoberfest, winter lager, noble pils,
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act ♪ w, act now! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest hosts one of the most listened to top 40 morning radio shows in the country. elvis duran and the morning show. [ cheers and applause ] i've been listening here in new york for a long time. say hello to elvis duran, everybody! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you.
>> jimmy: welcome. >> i love the roots. the roots. can you imagine? [ cheers and applause ] i mean, how many tv shows would do anything to have the roots. >> jimmy: they're the greatest. we love them. >> they're amazing. >> jimmy: thank you for coming on. i know -- i was on your show a couple weeks ago. you didn't think this booking was real. >> well, it's like -- what do you want to talk about? what is it you're going to ask me? what do you want to know? >> jimmy: i want to know a lot of things. >> all right, can i start out by saying something? >> jimmy: sure. >> every since you came on our show and we talked about me coming here tonight, the tweets, the email, the facebook messages, have been huge. people love you. >> jimmy: oh, thanks. >> jim fallon. [ cheers and applause ] i kid you not. i'm not exaggerating. jimmy fallon by far has had more response than almost any celebrity we've had on our show. and we've had some biggies on there. you have an amazing show. >> jimmy: i appreciate that. thank you so much. >> congratulations. >> jimmy: i know we talked a couple times because i did a sketch on "saturday night live" that you thought was based on you.
>> i thought you liked me, until i saw this. >> jimmy: no. it's not based on you though. >> it is. i've known from a fact of mine from "saturday night live" this is based on me. >> jimmy: you do not know! >> i do. i do. you know what? don't screw with me. i know it is. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it was the morning -- >> see, you're making me all -- >> jimmy: no, i'm not. don't get frustrated. you're going to turn into meatloaf from "celebrity apprentice." [ light laughter ] no. what happened was i used to do a lot of morning shows and i'm not doing you. but i used to do -- as a stand-up comedian, you go do these radio shows. and they're like, "it's 6:35 in the a.m. jimmy fallon's here. we're back with jimmy fallon." >> i know. i hear it all the time. >> jimmy: we have a clip of what i used to do. >> you want to see this? you want to see this clip? this is based on me, whatever he says. >> z105! >> jimmy: and we're back! folks, real special guest here this morning. dirty dan the garbage man, z105's newest deejay is here. >> hey, what's up! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: nice. classic. >> you're hilarious dirty dan. >> well, calm down, andrew. it looks like someone's trying
to get some. looks like you should have gotten a coupon. >> come on. >> jimmy: all right. settle down. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: see, i would do the whole -- [ cheers and applause ] that's you. >> jimmy: have you ever worn a hawaiian shirt? >> i'm not answering that. >> jimmy: no. i was just basing it -- the thing that -- i think it was started in the '80s, i guess. >> hawaiian shirts? yeah. >> jimmy: well, i mean, now you use your voice. back in the time people changed their voice when they were deejays, right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: like wolfman jack didn't -- he didn't always talk like that all the time. >> no. radio, we're thought of sometimes as the bottom feeders of the entertainment business, and our show is trying to screw that all up. we have quality people on our show. we have the best staff i've worked with. they're here. most of them are here right now. >> jimmy: yes! [ cheers and applause ] you do. you have a great crew. [ applause ] >> we try to keep it real. >> jimmy: it's so fun. it's so entertaining. so fun to listen to you in the
morning. you worked with different crews throughout your career. >> yes. >> jimmy: i'd say right now you probably have the best crew. [ cheers and applause ] >> absolutely. they're drunk. they are stoned and drunk. >> jimmy: no, they are not. >> i'm nervous. i'll tell you why. >> jimmy: why? >> he's adorable. who wants to come do this guy? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: stop it. >> who wants to do him right now? ♪ [ cheers and applause ] seriously. >> jimmy: come on. >> he's so doable. >> jimmy: oh, please. >> i'm just saying. >> jimmy: you're a good-looking man yourself. >> let's do each other right here. [ laughter ] ♪ hey! stop it, quest! ♪ >> hey, now. >> jimmy: let's get back on track here. >> thought we were. i like the track we're on. >> jimmy: are you nervous because you're on camera? >> no. >> jimmy: because radio you don't see your face? >> you know what it is? i've been hiding behind a microphone for like 30 years of my life. so being on camera is kind of weird. there are people watching that listen to our show and are now going, "that guy doesn't look like he sounds." but people call up and go, "you
know what? i saw your picture. you don't look like you sound." what am i supposed to look like? it's one of those weird radio things. >> jimmy: i remember when i first saw what cousin brucie looked like. i used to here him on wcbs. >> right. >> jimmy: he just didn't look like -- i knew that he was a white man. >> yeah. >> jimmy: that's all i knew. >> he's very white. >> jimmy: well, there's wolfman jack. people thought he was black. >> he was -- that was a weird cat, man. >> jimmy: that was a weird dude. he would talk in the middle of songs and everything. [ grumbling ] [ laughter ] but, i mean, you never change your voice at all. be like, "hey, what's up man?" >> no, no. see -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and we're back, everybody! >> and we're back! >> see what happens next. >> roll the clip again. i want to see something. >> jimmy: no, no, no. you can't show the clip again. no. >> i want inspiration for tomorrow's show. >> jimmy: i want to say congratulations 'cause you do have a great show. it's hugely popular. but also, the fact that you're on the internet now, are you proud of this? >> the internet -- we have "i heart radio," which is a huge, huge radio platform of ours. we know that radio -- the radios you use today are going to be gone one day. people are going to be listening to our show on the net.
that's just the way it is. >> jimmy: it's just the way it's going to go. would you ever go to sirius or any satellite radio? >> i have great friends there and we've had opportunities to go there. yeah, i would. i'm happy where we are, though. they take good care of us, but one day we'll all be on the internet and the radio you use, it will be a relic. a thing of the past. >> jimmy: it will? >> and so will your tv. no offense. >> jimmy: really? [ light laughter ] >> think about your tv. we'll be watching "jimmy fallon" on the web. we're not going to turn on the tv to watch you. >> jimmy: isn't that fun though? are your parents still around? >> yes, they are. >> jimmy: aren't they proud that anyone in the country can listen to you on elvisduran.com 'cause you're on a little radio station. >> does your mother ever listen and go, "jimmy, why do you say that crap? you've embarrassed me?" >> jimmy: no. [ laughter ] >> mine does. we talk about everything. no, they're very proud of me as long as they don't listen. >> jimmy: i think it's so cool, man. i just want to say i think you're doing a great job and your crew does a great job and i'm just a fan of yours. >> may we make out now? >> jimmy: no! [ laughter ] ♪ no making out. no making out. i do want to ask you a favor, if
you could. >> oh, here we go. >> jimmy: could you just read this in your deejay voice? >> really? >> jimmy: yeah? >> are you ready to throw it? >> jimmy: yeah. >> it's 1:20 in the a.m. and you're watching "late night with jimmy fallon." we'll be right back with dispatch! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: elvis duran! elvis duran on the morning show. it airs every morning. check out elvisduran.com thank you. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ . [ male announcer ] cowhide dries out. so does your manhide. regular men's body wash can dry out your skin.
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♪ >> jimmy: our next guest will head out on their first tour in nine years in early june. tonight, debuting their first new song in a decade. which you can download now exclusively from latenightwithjimmyfallon.com. and it will be out on the new album this summer. here to perform "melon bend," please welcome dispatch! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ saw you in the moss see the birds up above you stood up with a shot and said that it's time ♪ ♪ we ran through the old car woods saw the shadows on car hoods ♪
♪ swinging on the old town telephone lines ♪ ♪ oh my love i think that i could run forever ♪ ♪ may you stay so true and not be lonely ever ♪ ♪ now my world come right i will swim the river until my bones give up ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ said when you were born your daddy took you home he whispered to the ground ever softly ♪ ♪ left the shovel on the stone left the hill alone ♪
♪ drove like the road was the only life to know ♪ ♪ oh my love i think that i could run forever ♪ ♪ we don't stand a chance so we will run the river i swore on your bed i will leave her ♪ ♪ never until my bones give up and the birds they land ♪ ♪ and i see both of you are there and we are walking and we are walking ♪ ♪ and as you turn around i see your hands they look like mine and we are walking ♪ ♪ and we are walking back toward the hill oh my love
i think that i could run ♪ ♪ forever we don't stand a chance so now more than ever ♪ ♪ may you stay so true and be lonely never ♪ ♪ until your bones give up yeah oh my love ♪ ♪ i think that i could run forever we don't stand a chance so we will run the river ♪ ♪ now my world come right i will never leave her until our bones give up ♪ ♪ ♪
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey! >> thanks, jimmy. >> jimmy: dispatch! thank you, brother. dispatch. visit latenightwithjimmyfallon.com and download the song you just heard. see them on tour, beginning june 3rd at redrock in colorado. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ curtis: welcome back to geico radio, it's savings, on the radio. gecko: and the next caller is doug from chico. doug: oh...hey there hey...! gecko: you sound like a happy man. doug: yeah yeah! i saved so much by insuring my motorcycle and rv with geico, i wrote a song about it. gecko: alright, let's hear it! curtis: yeah jam session! doug: one, two... ♪ (singing) i got my motorcycle ♪ ♪ and my rv now i gotmore money. ♪
when a neighbor's house burns down, if someone needs lifesaving blood or the comfort of a helping hand. hope. support the american red cross and help save the day. visit redcross.org. ♪ jimmy: my thanks to seth and josh meyers, elvis duran and the morning show, dispatch, and the greatest band in late night -- the roots, right there, everybody. [ cheers and applause ]