tv Late Night With Jimmy Fallon NBC July 10, 2012 12:35am-1:35am PDT
oh ♪ ♪ i wanna settle down i wanna settle down ♪ ♪ i wanna settle down i wanna settle down i wanna settle down ♪ ♪ i wanna settle down i wanna -- hey ♪ ♪ hey oh hey oh hey oh hey oh ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jay: kimbra. nice job. that was great. thanks so much. that was worth it. see that was great. thank you. i want to thank my guests wanda sykes, rob riggle, and of course kimbra. tomorrow night, zachary levi will be here. but jimmy fallon is happening
right now. jimmy, take it! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's what i'm
talking about. i feel the love. thank you so much. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon" everybody. thank you for watching. thank you for being here. hey. [ cheers ] thank you, guys. it is going to be a fun show tonight. here's some political news. last week house speaker john boehner said that americans won't fall in love with mitt romney before the election. [ light laughter ] yeah. which explains romney's new campaign slogan, mitt romney, will you accept this rose? [ laughter ] that's right. boehner said voters won't fall in love with mitt romney. then it got weirder when boehner was like, "at least not like i have." [ laughter ] here's news on the economy the white house is telling americans not to read too much into friday's bad jobs report. or as americans put it, you had me at "don't read too much." [ laughter and applause ] yeah, i got you. perfect. done. hey guys, comic-con starts this week in san diego.
[ cheers and applause ] it's big. and get this, it actually features a blood drive this year. yeah. because that's what comic books fans need, a way to look even more pale. [ laughter ] perfect. a blood drive. some sports news after signing a new three-year contract with the new york knicks, jason kidd could become the fifth oldest player in nba history. i guess that explains his new name jason adult. [ laughter ] all right. that's a safe one. no, no. ♪ this is nice. on saturday, barney frank became the first congressman to enter a same-sex marriage which makes sense -- [ cheers ] yeah. good for him. which makes sense when you see who performed the ceremony. rabbi magic mike. have you heard of this guy?
that's right. barney frank became the first congressman to enter a same-sex marriage as opposed to most congressmen who prefer to just enter someone else's marriage. yeah. [ laughter ] there you go. you tell them, jimmy. you tell them, jimmy. [ applause ] and finally, you guys, over the weekend, a man in north carolina -- did you hear about this? a man in north carolina barricaded himself in a hotel room and asked for a pizza and then demanded to hook up with paris hilton. cops were like we can definitely arrange one of those, but it might be hard to get a pizza. [ laughter ] we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow that is cheap trick front man robin zander right there. sitting in with the roots! [ cheers and applause ] we love you, buddy! >> thank you, thank you. >> jimmy: you're a good man. cheap trick is on tour with aerosmith this whole summer, and robin is also going to be performing august 5th in los angeles. what is this? a part of the 12 million dog march. >> but yeah, it's this 12milliondogmarch.com. we are doing that in los angeles, chicago and atlanta. and it is similar to what women do for breast cancer. it is to raise money for pets with cancer. >> jimmy: that's a good thing. >> yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: such a good man. robin zander, thank you for being here, buddy. honored. >> thanks for having me man, i appreciate it. >> jimmy: honored to have you here, buddy. big fan. and here's a picture, robin went to ben & jerry's over in boston with his kids. >> last night i took that. >> jimmy: it was yesterday? it was last night? >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: and he took a picture, they stuck their heads to the sign here. that's our ice cream, you guys.
"late night" snack. [ cheers and applause ] yeah. look at cutie. aww, she's awesome. >> jimmy, jimmy, i also have a gift for you after the show. >> jimmy: you do? a guitar? wait. really? what? >> a dream police schecter model. >> jimmy: what is it? >> a dream police schecter model. >> jimmy: dude, i have a gift for you, too, it's a pint of -- ♪ we'll trade up. i'm honored. we have a fun show tonight. he's a legendary stand-up comedian, all around great guy, from "america's got talent's", howie mandel is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] funny all the time. plus, she's back. starring with glenn close in a new season of "damages," rose byrne is stopping by. [ cheers and applause ] and we have a great performance tonight. oh, we love this guy. frank ocean is on the show! [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: come on. >> jimmy: sounds fantastic. beautiful. his highly anticipated debut
album "channel orange" won't be in stores until july 17th. but guess what, it just went live on itunes a few minutes ago. you heard it here first everyone. right now "channel orange," frank ocean, is available on itunes. [ cheers and applause ] major announcement. major announcement. >> jimmy: have you ever wondered what celebrities are whispering to each other when they are on the red carpet, or at press conferences? yeah. me, too. [ light laughter ] we sent out our entertainment correspondent from the uk. >> steve: right. >> jimmy: mr. peggy hess. he has a very highly sensitive microphone to get to what the bottom of what these celebrities are saying. that's right, it is time for "celebrity whispers." ♪ ♪ celebrity whispers >> hello. i'm peggy hess and welcome to "celebrity whispers." [ whispers ] >> hi, welcome. good to see you. >> yes. >> happy you are here. >> nice to meet. >> that's quite a handshake. okay. you can will he go of my hand now. please. okay, let go of my hand. >> okay. >> and this is my friend chris.
>> yes, good to see you. >> no need for a long handshake with him. >> okay seriously, what's with the handshakes? >> sorry about that, chris. >> celebrity whispers. [ whispers ] >> nice to meet you. i'm such a big fan of yours. >> oh, thank you. thank you so much. >> yeah, i remember the first time i saw "city slickers." i was like man, that guy is going to be a big star some day. >> i wasn't in "city slickers." >> no, but you were. i just saw it. >> yeah but that wasn't me. it was billy crystal. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. but it was you. >> definitely wasn't me. >> yeah, i'm sure it was. >> bye. >> celebrity. [ whispers ] >> oh, man. our very own screening of "magic mike." >> what a great movie. good story, good ending. >> jolly good show. >> indeed. >> did you see channing tatum when he was all greased up and those abs? you could crack an egg on those things. >> mm-hmm. >> celebrity whispers. [ whispers ] >> hey, you guys want to play mini golf after this? >> yeah, i'm down with that. sure. >> is there a putt putt nearby? >> yeah, there's one downstairs. >> oh cool. >> yeah, yeah. right next to applebees. last time i got three holes in a one, so i'm pretty good. did you hear about my holes in one? >> yes, sir.
>> i got three holes in one. anyway, bye, guys. >> how are you? >> celebrity. [ whispers ] >> good to see you, man. >> you, too. >> hey what do you say when this is all done we finish the game of tag we had going, remember? >> yeah, yeah, yeah. where did we leave off on it? >> you're it. >> okay now, you are it. >> no, you're it. >> no tag backs. >> i'm peggy hess. i'll see you next time on "celebrity whispers." ♪ >> jimmy: those are "celebrity whispers." stick around. we will be right back with "models and buckets," next. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ...so you can take the man outta new jersey, but you can't take your pants off in a museum." [ laughs ] ted, i can't wait to take you home and run my fingers through that adorable hair. who says we need to wait 'til home? ♪ hey, i don't come here for the ambiance.
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everybody is talking about, doctors, lifeguards, summer school students, the milk man, prime minister of bulgaria, boyko borisov. everyone is talking about it. it is time for "models and buckets." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: that's right. it is time for the game everyone has been talking about. >> i. >> love. >> models. >> and >> buckets. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: now let's get started. let's bring out the models and bring out those buckets. ♪ wow. hi, models. >> hi, jimmy. >> jimmy: how was your fourth of july? >> amazing. [ talking over each other ] >> i did absolutely nothing. >> jimmy: as you can see we have 12 beautiful models with 12 beautiful buckets for our contests to choose from. whatever bucket they pick will be dumped on their head. but one of these buckets contains $100.
[ audience oohs ] >> jimmy: let's meet our contestants. come on over, guys. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ how are you doing pal? what's your name, where are you from? >> my name is evan and i'm from long island. >> jimmy: all right. good man, evan. welcome to the show. what's your name and where are you from? >> calvin from new jersey. >> jimmy: calvin from new jersey. one name. >> yeah. >> jimmy: calvin from new jersey. >> jimmy: all right. calvin and evan. all right, guys. you know how the game works. you have to pick a bucket number. and one of the models will dump that bucket on your head. but first, let's find out what's in some of today's buckets, higgins? >> steve: well, jimmy, today we have baked beans, relish, chocolate syrup, barbecue sauce, and ben & jerry's late night snack ice cream or $100. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy! >> jimmy: lot of money. all right. contestant number one, you are up first. audience, help him out. what numbers should he pick? [ cheers ] >> i'm going to go with five. >> jimmy: five. number five. number five. >> tessa.
♪ tessa >> jimmy: tessa, please dump that $100 on his head. let him have it. [ laughter ] [ sad tuba ] that is not the $100. sorry. that was relish. that was relish. sorry. that was relish. number two, what do you think? odds are a little better. which bucket do you want? [ cheers ] >> number ten. >> jimmy: number ten nadine. ♪ nadine pretty exciting. i've got to be honest, that looks a little heavy. [ laughter ] nadine, give them that $100. yeah. [ audience ohs ] [ sad tuba ]
looks like a swim cap there. you look like one of the -- one of the blue men. that is -- all right, nadine. get off, will you? leave him alone. the poor guy didn't win any money. you want help? here. that's condensed milk, my friend. thank you, nadine. condensed milk, very delicious. all right, what are you thinking now, pal? >> number two. number two. >> jimmy: number two. i'm talking about audrey. ♪ audrey >> jimmy: audrey, let him have it. did he win the $100? he won! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ you get the $100 right there. now, do you want to keep playing and try to double your money? audience, what do you think? [ cheers and applause ] all right. models, reset your buckets. let's go for round two here. you got another shot. ♪ congratulations. you already got $100. all right. now, you are not a loser yet. which bucket do you want, my
friend? >> i'll go with eight. >> jimmy: number eight. i'm talking about chris. come on over. chris. ♪ chris >> jimmy: chris, let him have that $100. let him be a winner, too. no. [ laughter ] [ sad tuba ] sorry that is -- that is melted "late night" snack ice cream from ben & jerry's. very popular brand of ice cream. [ elephant roar ] you know what that sound means. we are down to our last six buckets. well, you know what that sound means, it means it is time for double trouble, you guys. that means each of you will pick a bucket and we will pour them at the same time. what bucket do you got your eye on? [ cheers ] >> 11. 11. >> um, i -- 6.
>> jimmy: 11 and 6. you're talking about kenzy and roberta. ♪ kenzy and roberta >> jimmy: all right. let them have it, you guys. give them that $100, please. [ laughter ] [ sad tuba ] that was -- thank you so much. thank you so much, guys. appreciate that. you've got a pretty decent mix going on over here. let's see. that was chocolate syrup. you had maple syrup, my friend. tastes good with the relish, huh? >> yeah. real good. >> jimmy: all right, here we go. two more buckets. >> number one, number one. >> jimmy: number one. >> number four. >> jimmy: number four. >> four. >> jimmy: all right. yeah. i'm talking about holly and scarlet!
come on down. ♪ holly and scarlet >> jimmy: all right. here we go. all right, guys. let them have it. give them that $100. yeah. no. [ laughter ] [ sad tuba ] thank you, guys. all right. hey, come on. leave him alone. all right. all right. you got to go to therapy after this. that was -- strawberry jam on that one there. [ laughter ] you should get your own flavor from ben & jerry's when this is all over. all right, and you got packing peanuts on you my man. looks pretty good. all right. two more buckets. here we go. >> number seven. >> jimmy: seven. >> number five. >> jimmy: number five. perfect. seven. that's beth. number five is tessa. ♪ beth and tessa
>> jimmy: beth, tessa, let him have it. give somebody that 100 bucks. [ cheers and applause ] he's a winner! ♪ congratulations! you are both winners tonight. unbelievable. what a great game. what a great time. our thanks to our bold contestants right over here. and thank you to our beautiful models. we will be right back with howie mandel, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ it's olive garden's 2 for $25.
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>> jimmy: our first guest is a talented actor, author, and stand-up comedian. you can catch him tuesday and wednesday nights on nbc's hit show "america's got talent." please welcome back to our show, howie mandel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: howie, we love you. >> thank you. thank you. >> jimmy: welcome back. >> i just got to say that being backstage was deja vu for me. all those models. it was like my other show i used to do. >> jimmy: yeah. it's exactly like that. we stole that from you kind of. >> "bobby's world." whenever i did "bobby's world." >> jimmy: it's not "bobby's world." >> yeah, there was always 20 models backstage. and they'd go do the voice, howie. and i'd go -- [ as bobby ] "whatever you want." >> jimmy: oh my god. yeah, i love it. >> i would do that. >> jimmy: you do bobby, people ask you to do bobby all the time. [ as bobby ] >> "all the time." all the time. yes. bobby and gizmo and the other voices. >> jimmy: would you ever bring bobby back as a movie? >> i would love to. i would love to. [ cheers and applause ]
>> jimmy: a "bobby's world" movie. i'd love it. >> that'd be great. i love this show. >> jimmy: i loved that show. it was great. >> i love doing this show. i love coming, you get treats. look at this. i got the -- backstage i get -- i know you've had people wear them before. i just wanted -- i'm just -- thrilled. t-shirts. >> jimmy: you look good in it. it's a great t-shirt. >> people who don't do these shows. see, they're plotting a t-shirt. >> jimmy: you look good. it's a good -- it's a good t-shirt. >> it is good. you know, i will be honest with you, it is a little uncomfortable to wear a "jimmy fallon" t-shirt talking to jimmy fallon. it is so weird to have your name here and i'm talking to you. >> jimmy: it is a little weird. yeah. but, you don't have to do it. >> i'm going to take it off. i just wore it out. but i want to take it off because it is uncomfortable. >> jimmy: okay. >> okay. >> jimmy: i mean, yeah sure. you can do that. yeah. [ cheers ] [ sad tuba ] >> i didn't even realize -- i am so sorry. sorry. i'm sorry. >> jimmy: that is a different. >> i'm sorry. it's the wrong. >> jimmy: no, it's understood. >> i didn't -- i didn't think. >> jimmy: no.
[ laughter and applause ] [ sad tuba ] >> jimmy: that's much better. you feel more comfortable now? >> yeah, want to see my nipples? >> jimmy: no i don't -- [ laughter ] someone stop it. just stop right there. yeah, yeah. thank you for coming back -- >> my pleasure. >> jimmy: -- because i know you've been busy. fourth of july did you vacation? >> amazing. amazing. i don't if people know this, but i was born and raised in canada. and i became an american -- with those people. i became an american citizen. so now fourth of july is something that's -- it's festive, it's amazing. i celebrate it. i actually -- i record my celebrations. i taped myself -- >> jimmy: you do? >> -- the other night. oh yeah. it was great. it was great. the fourth of july. do we have the tape? >> jimmy: yeah. yeah we have -- >> show the tape. this is me on the fourth of july. that's me by the tree with a sparkler. >> jimmy: wow. >> and it's just the pageantry and festivity that goes into that holiday is amazing. [ laughter and applause ] it was -- >> jimmy: yeah. >> i mean, this year was twice as good as last year. i mean -- >> jimmy: because you didn't even have a sparkler. you just stood by a tree last
year. >> i didn't have a sparkler last year. i was just there. but when you add -- >> jimmy: but do you spend it with your family? what happened? >> i spent it with another family but they don't know me. i travel so much. i don't get to spend it with my family. you know what, speaking of traveling, i have got to say this is in my back pocket. i did this. it is not -- this book, i bought, at like the kitchen store, i saw this book. i thought it was funny. i don't know if you can see. can you see the title? [ laughter ] which camera am i on? oh right there. okay. so how to -- what i do is fly with this. i was reading it on the flight. i was just sitting on the flight and reading it. [ laughter ] wait, wait. then i say to the flight attendant can you come here, can i ask you? i know this sounds crazy. is there any way that we can ask the person in front of me not to recline? [ laughter ] but i'm always traveling. i'm away -- i'm away too much. >> jimmy: you are a way too much. >> way too much. >> jimmy: yeah. does your wife enjoy when you are away traveling? >> she enjoys me when i'm away? i have been married for
31 years. i think that's what makes it work. is the fact that i'm always away. but i feel like i take part in it. like, i'll call. i find things. i know what's going on. she took the dog -- i want to ask somebody here. she took our dog to -- do you have dogs? >> jimmy: no. >> i know nothing about dogs. she took our dog to the vet for eating its own poop. has anybody here ever done that? somebody has. >> jimmy: someone is screaming, actually. >> why would you do that? to me that's not a problem. i told her that's not a problem. if the dog is eating its own poop. i said to her, get the message. you know what it is saying to you, don't buy me anything, don't fix me anything. look what i prepared for myself. if you want a little something -- >> jimmy: leave me alone. stop bothering me. >> did the vet help you? lady, up there, did the vet help you? >> yes. he said it is normal. >> it is normal, but what does the vet do to stop it? oh, so there is no remedy. because our -- you know what our doctor said to put some powder on it. she gave my wife some powder. does that make sense to anybody? like all of a sudden, now my dog is going to taste the poop --
>> flavoring. >> what? >> flavoring. >> flavoring. i get it. [ laughter ] but how can you -- >> jimmy: that's orville redenbacher's son is in the audience. [ laughter ] he has been selling it all night. >> how can you ruin the flavoring? what is going to happen? my dog going to taste it going, i don't know, it has got tart, kind of a salty -- how did you ruin my crap? i'm not going to eat that anymore. >> jimmy: oh my gosh. dude you're killing me on "america's got talent," you are so funny. >> thank you. >> jimmy: it's you, it's sharon and howard -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: is it weird having howard there instead of piers? is it different? >> well, i get a little more respect. you know. howard and i have been friends for years and years. and i love him. i'm a fan of his. i think he's incredibly honest. and -- adds a whole new dimension to it. we do butt heads. we don't agree. we don't agree. but respectfully disagree. but i can't convince him with my taste. >> jimmy: you can't? why? what's different -- >> i like -- i think that there's -- it is so weird to me because i think that he makes a big living using his wack pack.
you know, i love like odd people. i think that an odd person is more exciting and probably will be more well-known name than just an average singer or just an average dancer. we have this guy this week called big barry. i think people will remember -- i think big barry is our william hung. like they had on -- people know that name. from "american idol." >> jimmy: i love william hung. m she bangs she bangs ♪ >> okay. you know that. i bet you can't name top ten winners on "american idol" in the last five seasons. you don't know them. i believe that people will glom on to somebody like big barry if you have a great musicians, if you guys would play for big barry and you had great singers and you gave him a note or two, the roots. that would be a concert i would go -- there he is. big barry with howard stern. >> jimmy: big barry, there. he is not big at all. yeah. he's -- >> you have to hear him sing. >> jimmy: we have a clip of actually of big barry -- >> do you? >> jimmy: -- singing. yeah, i want to show everybody. >> watch this. >> jimmy: this big barry. >> this is the talent. ♪ i've got the world on a
string sitting on a rainbow go that string around my itty-bitty finger ♪ ♪ what a word what a life life a is a beautiful thing as long as i've ♪ ♪ got that string i'd be a silly so and so if i should ever ever let her go ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: howie mandel, everybody. we love it when you come on. "america's got talent" airs tuesday and wednesday nights right here on nbc. rose byrne joins us next come on back, guys. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ how much coffee are you fellows going to need today? three...four cups?
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>> jimmy: rose byrne, you look gorgeous. thank you for coming back to the show. >> thank you, sir. >> jimmy: how is the summer treating you? >> it's been lovely. yeah, it's actually been a summer of weddings. i've been going to lots of weddings. i had one in january and i went to one on the weekend and i've got one in two weeks. >> jimmy: and of course you're from "bridesmaids." do people just keep quoting you at every wedding you go to? like, just say something from the movie, please? >> they're just like, you know what to do. you having a good time? are you going to make a speech? >> jimmy: you're like -- >> i'm like, no. what do you mean? no, but yeah. i went to one in january in sydney and i -- you know, i got all dressed up. i was going by myself and i had my hair done and i put on my little frock and it was a few -- it was like half an hour from my -- got a little car. hired a car and drove out. and i got there and got to church and i was early so i stood there at the church, you know, waiting around and then like, 20 minutes went by. no one was there and then i
realized i was there on the wrong day. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you're kidding. >> i was a day early. i went a day early to the wedding. >> jimmy: i mean, that is awful. >> but i was there in front of the church just like, waiting and i like called my friend and she's like, have you lost your mind? it's tomorrow. and i was like -- >> jimmy: but i look fantastic right now. yeah, this is the perfect time. i should be at the wedding now. >> i went home i just went to bed. it was exhausting. [ laughter ] then i had to do it all again the next day. get dressed up. get make up. >> jimmy: hurry up. yeah, yeah. get married. hurry up. i've seen here. yeah, been there. done that. yeah. but you have another one coming up? >> yeah. i'm actually going to be a bridesmaid in two weeks. my best friend in australia. >> jimmy: oh, wow. oh, my gosh. are you -- are you now realizing how hard it is? >> it is so hard -- you're married, right? >> jimmy: yeah. >> there is so much preparation. i always thought people were sort of just, like, going on about it. but there really is a lot of details. really. and i'm dreadful 'cause i'm here so i'm not helping at all. i'm just like, that sounds good. and anything i can do? and like, i'm just totally -- >> jimmy: walking away from your e-mail. >> yeah, exactly. >> jimmy: i haven't seen you
since before you presented at the academy awards. >> yes, yes. >> jimmy: congratulations. you were great. >> thank you. >> jimmy: that was so awesome. [ cheers and applause ] i was like, oh, my gosh. we love her. i'm so happy for you. that's great. >> yeah, it was -- >> jimmy: was that exciting? >> it was. it was amazing. yeah, we presented with the cast of "bridesmaids" which was incredible. and, i mean, a lot of people i think are a bit cynical about the awards. they were like, "was it really boring?" and i'm like, "i had an amazing time!" it was incredible. >> jimmy: it really is. >> i just kept thinking i was going to get kicked out. i couldn't believe i was there. >> jimmy: you were on camera a lot. you got a of camera time. >> yeah, we were in the second row. it was wild. we were right behind all of "the artist" people, which won all the awards. and my brother was my date. and he sat down and he was -- he just went, what? and he's like, "there's been a mistake." i was like, "what's wrong george?" and he's like, "i'm right behind 'the artist.' they're going to be on -- i'm going to be on camera all night." and he was like totally panicked. and the lights are going down. i was like "calm down! calm down! [ laughter ] it's okay!" and then -- and then he was. he was on camera all night. 'cause he was right behind john dujardin who won the best actor. and, but then he started like
winking. like he started going -- [ laughter ] these one's are like getting text messages. like, "we saw the wink, buddy." >> jimmy: yeah, there you go. he's mr. cool guy. mr. cool guy. >> he was loving it. so we had a great time. >> jimmy: let's talk "damages." fifth, final season. >> yes, i know. final season. it's -- me and glenn go head to head over a case and it's based on the wikileaks scandal loosely. and ryan phillip joins the cast. he's a julian assange type character. so it's really good. it's a satisfying finish. >> jimmy: and how is glenn doing? >> she's terrific. >> jimmy: we love her so much. please give her a hug for us. >> i know. i saw her do the sumo wrestle on here. >> jimmy: she does everything crazy on the show. she's the greatest. >> she's game. she's game. >> jimmy: yeah, we sumo wrestled each other last time she was here. yeah. oh, she's so fun. so what's going on? this -- this time -- ryan is like a friend of glenn's, right? >> yes. also ryan plays this -- sort of dubious character who i am defending and she is prosecuting. so it's very -- it's like a head-to-head kind of battle. >> jimmy: we have a clip. here's a preview of rose byrne in the fifth season premiere of
"damages." take a look, you guys. >> i'd like to hire you. >> well, i'm interested. but i just went out on my own. i doubt i have the resources that you'll need. >> no, resources aren't a problem. i have sponsors, donors with deep pockets. >> i'm just curious. but why me? >> you came very highly recommended. >> by whom? >> patty hughes. >> jimmy: there you go right there. [ cheers and applause ] more with rose byrne when we get back, you guys. it's going to be fun. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ dog 1 ] i am not a sheep... i'm a sheep dog! i don't want to just eat plants.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we're back right here with the beautiful rose byrne. rose, thank you again for coming back. a lot of people might not know this. but before -- back in the '90s, before i had this show, before you had "damages," we were actually lawyers for a brief time. >> that's right. i know, i almost forgot about that. >> jimmy: yeah, we had a law firm. >> thank you for reminding me that. >> jimmy: no problem. it was called fallon and byrne. >> and we started as personal injury lawyers. >> jimmy: that's correct. we made a bunch of commercials
to help get our name out there. in fact, i was looking through old boxes and i -- i found our first commercial. [ light laughter ] it's pretty -- want to take a look? do you mind? >> let's take a look. yeah. >> jimmy: all right, let's take a look at this. ♪ [ sirens ] ♪ >> jimmy: have you been hurt in an accident? if the answer is yes, then congratulations. it's your lucky day. [ laughter ] >> because we are going to get you cold, hard cash. >> jimmy: have you been rear ended by an out of control driver? >> cash. >> jimmy: have you been maul bad neighbor's out-of-control cockatoo and/or out-of-control child? >> cash. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: have you tripped and fallen down? well consider this. maybe you didn't fall down. maybe the earth fell up. [ laughter ] we will sue the earth. [ laughter and applause ]
>> cash. [ laughter ] we're fallon and byrne and we'll get you your cash or you can sue us! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: now -- fun to look at those things. we were sued 648 times in less than a month. >> that really caused a lot of trouble. but we didn't give up. we just decided to switch our focus and our practice and we became divorce lawyers. >> jimmy: that's right. we became divorce lawyers. and luckily i found that commercial, too. [ laughter and applause ] let's take a look. ♪ [ sirens ] ♪
>> i'm going to the bar to meet some men. i'll see you in the morning, husband. >> jimmy: oh wife, what about this casserole that i made up? sound familiar? [ light laughter ] is your wife a big slut? [ laughter ] >> is your husband a crothcless, overbearing, insecure man? >> jimmy: does your wife not respect you for trying to build a loving home? >> does your husband leave the toilet seat up? >> jimmy: does your wife not even use the toilet? [ laughter ] >> we understand you are disgusted by this person that you said you'd love forever. and we hate them, too. >> jimmy: we're fallon and byrne. and we'll get you your cash. but if not, up can't sue us. [ cheers and applause ]
took a little nap it was so good. >> you're tired. >> jimmy: really tired when i saw it. yeah. >> you're tired. you're tired from your holiday. >> jimmy: i just -- i like to watch tv down here with my head down. [ light laughter ] but, that -- >> yeah, that slogan didn't really help us either did it? >> jimmy: it did not. no. in fact, we stopped focusing on divorce and then reinvented our practice yet one more time. >> and i thought we'd really found our niche with this one because it was a very specialized area of the law. >> jimmy: yeah. let's take a look at that one. [ sirens ] ♪ >> jimmy: have you recently gotten a bad haircut and wanted to sue the hair stylist who gave it to you? >> as the leading bad hair cut law firm in the tri-state area we'll make that crappy hair stylist pay. >> jimmy: just look at some of our satisfied clients.
[ cash register rings ] [ laughter ] >> and here. [ cash register rings ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and here. [ cash register rings ] [ laughter ] don't take our word for it. listen to this client's testimonial! >> hi. [ laughter ] my name is bill clumbers. this was me two days ago. [ laughter ] and now thanks to fallon and byrne, i'm a rich man. [ laughter ] >> no. >> no. [ cheers and applause ] [ together ] thank you, bill. we'll make a -- [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: beautiful. look familiar. the day after that one aired we closed the law firm forever.
>> that was it. >> jimmy: we certainly -- yeah. >> we were disbarred for life. >> jimmy: we certainly -- but we had a good run. rose byrne, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] we had a good -- "damages" airs wednesdays at 9:00 p.m. on directv's audience network. stick around, everybody. because frank ocean performs next, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ male announcer ] now at your neighborhood subway: dinner...is...served. tonight, take it easy and enjoy your favorite soup, salad and hot, hearty sub. like the toasty big hot pastrami melt. get to your local subway for some dinnertime deliciousness tonight.
♪ i'm teaching performance. here's what they'll need. ♪ get your backpack, your hoodies, harajuku, ♪ ♪ turquoise kinda purple orangish sorta blue. ♪ ♪ backpacks, yeow, ♪ to put their stuff in. ♪ graphic tees and denim, denim, denim, denim. ♪ ♪ backpacks. school takes a lot, target has is all. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest, we're excited about this. he is garnering huge buzz for his debut album "channel orange" which is available at itunes
right now and in stores on july 17th. we are honored tonight to have his first ever tv performance with the song "bad religion." with a little help from the roots, please welcome frank ocean! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ taxi driver be my shrink for the hour leave the meter running it's rush hour ♪ ♪ so take the streets that you want to just out run the demons could you ♪ ♪ he said allah hu akbar
i told him don't curse me bo bo you need prayer ♪ ♪ i guess it couldn't hurt me ♪ ♪ if it brings me to my knees ♪ ♪ it's a bad religion ooh, this unrequited love ♪ ♪ to me it's nothing but a one man cult and cyanide in my styrofoam cup ♪ ♪ i could never make him love me no never make him love me ♪ ♪ love me love me ooh, hoo hoo hoo ooh, hoo
ooh hoo ♪ ♪ taxi driver i swear i've got three lives balanced on my head like steak knives ♪ ♪ i can't tell you the truth about my disguise i can't trust no one ♪ ♪ and you say allah hu akbar i told you don't curse me no no no ♪ ♪ bo bo you need prayer i guessed it couldn't hurt me if it brings me to my knees it's a bad religion ♪ ♪ ooh unrequited love to me it's nothing but a one man cult ♪ ♪ and cyanide in my