tv The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon NBC May 1, 2014 11:34pm-12:37am PDT
now to capture all of this was the teenager's mom who took these photos. we are happy to report the squirrel and teenager are doing just fine. >> oh, terrible. >> and mom probably said, don't get close to the skir el. probably an good idea. and he took the selfie with the squirrel. >> listen to mom is the moral of the story. >> classic. >> we have time when we wake up in the morning. how are we looking. >> 67 and clear. warming up quickly tomorrow but not as hot. can you see by 3:00 p.m. instead of 90s, upper 80s. plenty of sun to snap a a selfie. >> but not with a squirrel. >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- andrew garfied.
mary lynn rajskub. musical guest, chvrches. and featuring the legendary roots crew. and now, here's your host, jimmy fallon! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, that's the stuff right there. oh. oh, that makes you feel so good. welcome to the "tonight show," everybody. here we are. [ cheers and applause ] oh, that's fun. we're going to have fun tonight, everybody. oh yeah, it's a hot show.
welcome, welcome, welcome. here is what everyone is talking about. it's a tough day for our pal, toronto mayor rob ford. [ cheers ] today he announced that he is checking into rehab. yep. he said he entered rehab this week to deal with the problem swiftly. and also because monday is cinco de mayo and he ain't missing that. [ laughter and applause ] that's the day of all days. >> steve: come on. >> jimmy: i got to get this taken care of, man. quickly. that's right. rob ford checked into rehab. >> steve: oh, no, no, no. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: that's right. rob ford checked into rehab. >> steve: oh no, no, no. >> jimmy: because of a new video that shows him allegedly smoking crack in his sister's basement. [ light laughter ] we have to say allegedly because he doesn't really know whose basement it was. [ laughter ] it could be under tim horton's,
i don't remember where it was. that's right, rob ford is taking time off from his reelection campaign. [ light laughter ] it just sounds weird saying it, right. yeah, yeah, yeah. >> steve: yeah. take a little time off. >> jimmy: a little. >> steve: 'lil time off. >> jimmy: like 'lil wayne. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: a 'lil. >> steve: a 'lil. >> jimmy: a 'lil time off from his reelection campaign and going to go rehab. and we've done a lot of the rob ford jokes in the past. but actually, we're glad he's getting some help. and you know what? they have tvs in rehab. >> steve: really? >> jimmy: so if you are watching this mayor ford, we hope some of these jokes cheer you up. [ laughter ] here we go. [ cheers and applause ] you can tell rob ford is turning things around because now when he's holding a pipe in the basement, it is because he's fixing a leak. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] that's right.
now rob ford, he drinks coke. >> steve: what? >> jimmy: it's very interesting. ♪ now his favorite rock is chris. ♪ [ honk ] [ cheers and applause ] [ imitating chris rock ] >> jimmy: "smoking crack." [ imitating chris rock ] "basement crack! not even upstairs crack. got a dirty crack, basement crack! crack is rob ford smoking basement crack." now the only crack in his pocket is on his iphone. ♪ hashtag the panda everybody, right there. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] there you go. there you go. ♪ ♪ [ honk honk ] [ laughter ] all right. >> steve: is he
still there? >> jimmy: is hashtag still out there? ♪ [ boing ] [ laughter ] ♪ [ honk ] [ laughter ] ♪ [ honk ] [ laughter ] ♪ [ honk ] tired. his back is hurting. his back is hurting. >> steve: he's exhausted. he's drenched in sweat. gonna have to drink like three gatorades. ♪ [ honk ] [ laughter ] ♪ [ honk ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he almost fell down on that one. almost fell down on that one. yeah, don't make him do it again -- all right. one more time. ♪
[ honk ] [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: it's the sweat. it's the sweat on the floor. >> jimmy: he almost went through the wall on that last one. oh, all right. let's get to other stories here. of course the other big story continues to be los angeles clippers owner donald sterling. [ audience boos ] and now sterling's wife, rochell is being accused of making racist remarks during an incident back in 2009. you know what? sterling should just break up with his girlfriend and go out with his wife. [ laughter ] this donald sterling -- they have a lot in common. yeah. >> steve: they have a lot in common. >> jimmy: this donald sterling situation has everybody nervous about saying the wrong thing. and on espn, they were talking about clippers coach doc rivers and the anchor got caught up trying to be too careful. listen to this. >> you know, whatever it takes
with the team. thanks, guys. >> so doc rivers got a game to coach, but still giving that media that 15 minutes on the day that his owner, or at least the team owner -- probably a bad choice of words there. his -- the franchise owner donald ster -- donald sterling. >> jimmy: nothing sounds more racist than a white guy catching himself sounding racist. [ laughter ] "and no words from his owner of course, he doesn't have an owner. not a slave owner. i saw '12 years a slave.' i really liked it. i mean, great movie. i mean, not a great movie. it was a bad movie. it hated the movie. i did enjoy the people that were in the movie. i mean, acting in the movie. and they're good people. i mean, slaves, slaves aren't good people. they are good people, but whoever slave owners. they're the ones who are bad. it's hot in here, isn't it? live tv. is it hot? no, it's not. 68 degrees. good to work indoors." [ laughter and applause ] anyway.
at least donald sterling's girlfriend, v. stiviano. at least they say she's acting like a normal sane person. listen to the latest thing she had to say. >> stiviano pictured here today riding roller skates outside her home in los angeles. >> i'm going to be the president of united states of america. >> jimmy: when did she become a a member of daft punk? [ laughter ] ♪ [ humming "get lucky" ] "i'm going to be the president of the united states." she says she's going to be president of the united states one day. yeah, like we're going to elect someone who secretly records people's private phone calls and conversations. [ light laughter ] keep dreaming girl. ain't gonna happen! [ laughter and applause ] and this isn't good. heisman trophy winner, jameis winston is in the news after he -- [ laughter ] laughing at the trophy itself? hiesman trophy.
yeah, jameis winston, you hear about this? >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: he shoplifted $32 worth of crab legs from a a florida grocery store. [ light laughter ] not good. experts say that if he doesn't clean up his act, and stop breaking the law, he could end up in the nfl. [ laughter ] and you gotta watch that stuff. that's right. jameis winston stole crab legs from a florida grocery store. that's not such a big deal. in fact, i just read a study that says most college kids get crabs when they're in florida. [ laughter ] a very popular thing. >> steve: they don't get just one. they get like a whole case. [ imitating chris rock ] >> jimmy: "basement crack! like a five star crack. this barely gets half a star and yells crack." [ light laughter ] a lot of people are excited about this. the kentucky derby is this weekend. [ cheers and applause ] i'm excited about that. they have officially announced the lineup for the big race which includes horses named california chrome, wildcat red and wicked strong.
and of course that means there are some horses that did not make the race. and here are a few that won't be running saturday. of course there is last place. that's terrible name for a a horse. and concious uncoupling. will not be running. we have late night text from mr. franco will not be running this race. we have a horse called actually a camel. [ laughter ] that's just illegal. one called elmer. and here is the last one here. v. stiviano. [ cheers and applause ] they will not be running this weekend. don't bet on them. and finally, this made me laugh. earlier this week, a graduating student at davenport university of michigan was on stage getting his diploma when he decided to attempt a backflip. it didn't go so well. take a look. >> keaton taylor briggs. [ cheers ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: well, he was smart. bad news is his parents spent a
a lot of money on his education. the good news is they'll make it all back on youtube. we have a great show. give up for the roots right there, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hey. [ cheers and applause ] is hashtag still out there? ♪ [ honk ] he's woozy. guys, it's been a fun week so far and there's more ahead. tomorrow night, kevin spacey will be here. [ cheers and applause ] that's right. kevin and i are going to do a little singing together. you might even see the rag time gals return. plus, always one of my favorites, lewis black will be
joining us. [ applause ] great comedian. and of course, we'll have "thank you notes" so it's gonna be a good show tomorrow. but first we have got a great show tonight. this guy stars in the biggest movie in the world right now, "the amazing spiderman 2." he's also hosting "saturday night live" this weekend with musical guest, coldplay. andrew garfield is stopping by. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: oh, wow. a delight. >> jimmy: he's a good guy, right? >> steve: he's great. >> jimmy: having fun up there? >> steve: super great. >> jimmy: andrew and i are going to race these tiny motorcycles around. and it's pretty much a sure thing that i'm going to win. plus, she's back. i'm so happy she's back as chloe! we don't have time for this chloe, dammit! "24: live another day," mary lynn rajskub is back on the show. [ cheers and applause ] she's one of my all-time favorites. so funny. and we got great music from chvrches, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] it's a whole great show.
well, it's time for "tonight show hashtags," you guys. here we go. ♪ hashtags hashtags ♪ >> jimmy: you guys are on twitter, right? [ cheers ] it's fun. well, we use twitter on our show every single week. so if you watch our show and you want to play along, we do this thing every wednesday where i send out a hashtag. and then we ask you guys to tweet out things based on that topic. so since the kentucky derby is this saturday, i went on twitter started a hashtag called "kentucky derby rap." i asked you guys to tweet out a a funny rap that you made up about the kentucky derby. we got thousands of tweets. thousands. within 20 minutes, it was a a worldwide trending topic. so thank you for those tweets. [ cheers and applause ] that's so cool. now i thought i'd share some of my favorite kentucky derby raps from you guys. the roots are going to help me out. this first one is from @jcmorgan. he says -- ♪ ♪ i got my fancy hat and i'm rocking seersucker drinken mint juleps
while you're ♪ ♪ drinking beer sucker ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: this one's from @llamadama. ♪ ♪ i run laps like a purebred and all they do is stare my body is a wonderland they call me john mare ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i got, i got it, i got it. yeah, yeah, yeah. next one from @ctate002. he says -- ♪ if you wanna go and take a ride wit me you got the weigh 90 pounds and be 4'3" ♪ ♪ oh why do i live this way hey must be kentucky ♪ >> jimmy: that's a good one. that one's going to stick. that's a great one. this one's from @kristenrose124. she says -- ♪ mother effin' horses are on the chase even donald sterling is cool with this race ♪
>> steve: good ones. >> jimmy: i liked his voice there too. tariq changed his voice on that one. this one's from @ryannotron. he says -- ♪ i'm the only derby donkey ridin' in a thong my whale tail showing for a couple furlong ♪ >> jimmy: my whale tail. yeah. this one's from @thedocumentary. he says -- ♪ i'm ridin' round i'm gettin' it pooped on the tracks you stepped in it ♪ ♪ 'cause i'm first and you second i'm first and you second -- ♪ [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: hashtag wants to take a nap. yeah, yeah, yeah. hashtag, he's holding his head. >> steve: he's sore. >> jimmy: he's upset. >> steve: he's upset because it's about hashtags. >> jimmy: that's her name. >> steve: yeah, that's her name. [ honk ] ♪
[ honk ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: this one's from -- >> steve: hashtag for hip replacement. >> jimmy: i know. this one's from @tifftiffgirl3. she says -- ♪ i'm gonna wear my hat only got 1,000 dollars in my pocket ♪ ♪ i'm watchin' bettin' on some horses it's kentucken awesome ♪ [ cheers and applause ] there you go right there. [ applause ] >> jimmy: the last one's from @rgoden. he says -- ♪ racin' round the track trottin' quickly sippin' on mint juleps laid back ♪ ♪ got my mind on my horsey and my horsey on my mind ♪ >> jimmy: there you have it! [ cheers and applause ] those are our "tonight show hastags." to check out more of our favorites got to tonightshow.com/hashtags. or submit your by downloading our tonight show app available
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest tonight is a tony and golden globe award nominated actor. you know him from "the social network" and of course the biggest movie in the world right now, "the amazing spider man 2." he's also hosting "saturday night live" this weekend with musical guest coldplay. it's gonna be a good show. say hello to a talented man, here's andrew garfield! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about, buddy. fun times. here he is! andrew garfield, thank you for stopping by the show my friend. >> what a lovely new home you
have. >> jimmy: it's really nice, thank you. >> it suits you, and it's lovely. >> jimmy: thank you, and we've got the best crowds ever. thank you very much you, guy. [ cheers and applause ] >> amazing. >> jimmy: they're excited for you. i'm excited for you. you're hosting "saturday night live" this weekend. >> yes. >> jimmy: for the first time. >> yes. >> jimmy: it's so much fun. are you nervous, are you excited? are you? >> it's a role -- it's all of it. i was really dreading it before we started. it's like a nightmare. it's like the worst nightmare of my -- i've had nightmares about hosting saturday night live. i've even had nightmares where i've sent someone off in place of me because i baffled it five minutes before my monologue. >> jimmy: really? >> so it's like deeply -- deeply terrifying. >> jimmy: what did the person look like? the person you sent up? >> he did actually kind of -- >> jimmy: did he have brown hair and a gray suit? >> like maybe on older brother type? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i'd feel bad if something happened to you saturday afternoon. [ laughter ] >> there is a character -- ere is a character in one of the sketches that's definitely a fallon character i'm thinking. i'm playing it but i think you would be able to play it almost as good. [ laughter and applause ]
>> jimmy: you put that in there. "almost," yeah, yeah, yeah. so look, marvel sent over this action -- we have this action figure. how cool is that, look at this. here he is. >> that's not me though. it's spider-man. >> jimmy: yeah, but it's you as spider-man. >> there is no one in that suit. it's a toy. [ laughter ] i'm not in that suit. i'm sat here. i play the character. >> jimmy: you are in this. [ laughter ] this is you dressed as -- this is you as spider-man. here is how i know because this one, how much is this? 15 bucks somewhere? yeah, this one's 30 bucks. check this one out. slow jam spider-man. that's me. [ applause ] and this one you can tell it's me. that is the smart thing they did. so this one's harder to get. it's a slow jam spider man. it comes with the collectible roots on the box you get roots. [ cheers and applause ] >> that's pretty cool. >> jimmy: it's pretty good.
>> that is pretty cool. >> jimmy: i didn't like this. look at this, kind of like a a doughy spider-man. >> that doesn't look anything like you. >> jimmy: it looks like i just came out of the dunkin' donuts. [ laughter ] like i'll swing buy. i just got to get a couple hoagies. but this is a big deal. this is a big deal this is -- you've got, jamie foxx. >> jaime foxx, yeah. >> jimmy: unbelievably great. >> amazing. >> jimmy: emma stone. the stone-bone. >> the stone-bone. [ applause ] >> jimmy: that's my girl, man. >> the boney-stone. that's my girl. she was on the show, and we did a lip synch battle. >> yes. >> jimmy: and she destroyed it. >> never give her that kind of opportunity. >> jimmy: really? >> never give her that space. because if you give her that space she'll be walking out with your body over her shoulder. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: she destroyed me. >> she killed. >> jimmy: everyone was like, oh my god is she a musician? like she was really that great. >> no, she's just magic. >> jimmy: she is just magic, absolutely. [ laughter ] now this is. [ audience aws ] >> aw. wasn't that a sweet thing -- yeah. >> jimmy: i think she's magic infinity. [ laughter ] force field. high fi-i-i-i-i-i--
[ laughter and applause ] -- i-i-i-ve? [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ laughter ] "the amazing spider-man 2." this time -- this you got dane dehaan, is the green goblin. >> yes. >> jimmy: and -- is there anything else i have to set up? >> [ coughing ] >> jimmy: are you all right? >> i've got a cough. i've got a cough. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you were smoking a a pipe back stage. >> i wasn't smoking a pipe. >> jimmy: yeah, you were i saw you in the basement of a tim hortons. [ laughter and applause ] i saw where you were. unbelievable. catching like wildfire. i want to show a clip. here's andrew garfield in "the amazing spider-man 2." it's in theaters everywhere! check it out. >> reporting live from new york one, chopper. an oscorp truck carrying plutonium has been hijacked. a police chase is in progress.
[ sirens ] >> gotcha, gotcha. >> nope, got you too. [ sirens ] hey you! no, you're not going anywhere. come here, come to daddy. [ yelling ] >> okay, stop it, stop it. phew. oh, come on! make way! come back here. heel! gotcha. [ cheers and applause ] >> that's really fun. congratulations. no he's not. >> i'm doing the thing. >> jimmy: doing the web thing. >> doing the web thing. >> jimmy: you can't do the web thing! >> i can do the web thing. >> jimmy: no you can't do the web thing. >> i'm still playing the part.
as long as i'm playing spider-man i'm able to do the web thing. >> jimmy: can you do a mall tour? >> i'm just like, hey guys, check it out. >> jimmy: what's up dudes. >> yeah, check it out. you get it? >> jimmy: yeah i get it. but look i know this. because i checked you out in wikipedia. >> oh thank you. [ laughter ] i'm flattered. >> jimmy: i know that you hate mondays you love lasagna. >> oh, come on. [ laughter ] don't laugh at that! >> jimmy: i know that you were once the president of the united states. they're laughing at that. >> ugh. oh, come on. no. >> jimmy: no i looked it up. >> did learn you are learning how to play guitar. >> ugh. >> jimmy: is that true? you are learning how to play guitar. >> yes, i play -- i play cat stevens songs. very simple cat stevens songs and very simple neil young songs. >> jimmy: uh-huh. [ cheers and applause ] >> woah! how did that? >> jimmy: i don't know, it fell from the ceiling! >> and it didn't get harmed. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no it did not. can you give us a little taste of something, please? [ cheers and applause ] >> this is -- this is -- okay. thank you. this is important -- oh my god
my heart just died -- oh. >> jimmy: come on. >> this is important. i'm no -- i'm no adel nazeem. [ laughter and applause ] idina menzel. >> jimmy: that's true. or adel nazeem. yeah, she's great. >> adel nazeem. >> jimmy: all right. this is gonna be nice. should we take this seriously. it's a nice serious song. >> no, i don't even -- this is the first time i've ever sung in public. >> jimmy: okay. you're at a comfy home. [ cheers and applause ] we're very nice. this will be fantastic. >> okay, so what are you thinking? >> jimmy: something nice. some that everyone can like. older people, younger people -- >> old demographic? >> jimmy: yeah. ♪ ♪ spider-man spider-man does whatever a spider can ♪ ♪ spins a web any size
catches theives just like flies ♪ ♪ hey there here comes that spider-man ♪ [ cheers ] ♪ is he strong? listen bud he's got radioactive blood ♪ ♪ can he swing from a thread take a look overhead ♪ ♪ hey there there goes that spider-man ♪ ♪ in the chill of night at the scene of a crime like a streak of light he arrives just in time ♪ ♪ spider-man spider-man friendly neighborhood spider-man ♪ ♪ wealth and fame he's ingnored action is his reward ♪ ♪ to him life is
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hello, everybody. i am here with andrew garfield. [ cheers and applause ] he is the star of "the amazing spider man 2" and it's the biggest movie in the world right now. and so in the spirit of the spiderman movies, andrew -- what's up? >> spiderman movies. >> jimmy: spiderman movies. [ laughter ] you play edward spiderman. >> larry -- >> jimmy: larry spiderman. >> attorney at law. >> jimmy: attorney at law. very good. it's a great movie. right, it's a big law drama. and it's great. and it's four hours long with an intermission. [ laughter ] andrew and i -- i only saw the first half, but it's good. [ laughter ] we're are going to do something fun and dangerous. it's our first "tonight show" pocket bike race. [ cheers ] now, we're going to get on these tiny motorcycles -- this is a bad idea -- and we're going to race two laps around the studio, out those double doors, down the hallway, around the back, and onto the floor up stage. two laps. first one to cross the finish line is the winner. andrew, these bikes are faster
than they look. so like always, we'll be wearing helmets, because safety is sexy. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] there you go, that's good. thanks, brother. here we go. now higgins, you're going to count us down and start the race, right? >> steve: yep. >> oh, god. >> jimmy: i don't even how we're going to do this. okay. >> i don't agree -- >> jimmy: all right, all right. >> -- with this. >> jimmy: okay. >> what? is this too small -- >> jimmy: i don't know what to do here. all right higgins -- >> steve: gentelmen, start your engines! on your mark. get set. go! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> whoa! no good! no! ♪ very bad -- what! ♪
[ cheers and applause ] oh, you're right on my tail. oh -- ♪ >> jimmy: oh. gosh, i lost! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i got creamed. you and emma are not invited back. you and emma are not invited back. go see "amazing spiderman 2." don't miss andrew garfield on "saturday night live" this weekend with musical guest, coldplay. mary lynn rajskub joins us after the break. stick around everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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"24 live another day" premiering this monday at 8:00 p.m. on fox. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome mary lynn rajskub. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] mary lynn, welcome. you look beautiful. thank you so much for being here. >> thank you. what happened in the bike race? >> jimmy: pal, thank you for coming on the show. you know i'm giant fan of yours. and now "24" is back. i'm very, very excited about this. [ cheers and applause ] and you flew all the way from london to come on the show and i appreciate that. thank you very much. is that true? no. >> that is true. >> jimmy: thank you. >> and it was my absolute pleasure to be here. >> jimmy: you look very pretty. well you're shooting in london. >> we're shooting in london. yeah, every other time they when it's, you know, it was supposed to be in new york, they would just send a crew and film here for one day. so i never thought i would
actually be going to london. yeah, six months we're shooting the whole thing there. >> jimmy: wow. >> my son and husband were able to come with me. my son is 5 years old. >> jimmy: does he love europe? >> he -- yeah, you know, he's cool like that. >> jimmy: yeah right. [ laughter ] world traveler, he's like whatever. >> he's just like, i want to ride on the tubes mummy. >> jimmy: no he is not. does he have an accent? no. >> no. >> jimmy: he doesn't have an accent. [ laughter ] [ english accent ] -- we're in the wrong spot. >> but he did for the first three days go hey, double decker bus, double decker bus. double decker bus. >> jimmy: he loves double decker buses? >> he loves his double decker buses. we have to go up to the top and pretend to drive, of course. >> jimmy: yes. that's what i do when i got with my wife. i'm like, double decker bus. >> double decker bus. >> jimmy: she's like, calm down buddy. but you went to italy as well. and he did enjoy that. >> well italy, yes. have you been there? have you been to venice? >> jimmy: yeah. no, i haven't been to venice. >> it's crazy. well everywhere and it was great. we went to florence and rome. venice is like, everywhere you look is so beautiful. you're just taking pictures. you can't stop taking pictures.
but you know what five-year-old boys don't like? walking around looking at stuff. [ laughter ] they don't care for it. >> jimmy: not into that at all. >> i mean, he does not stop moving, running, you know, very physical. the second you want to go into a museum it's like," my legs are tired." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> really dude? he's never tired ever. so we knew that was going to happen. so we got like a cheap stroller and he's really way too big to be in a stroller. so, his knees are up here. >> jimmy: how old is he? >> he's five. [ laughter ] and we gave him like iphone you know in the sistine chapel. it was just like this, pouting kid. [ laughter ] this one guy is like, "well, he doesn't look very interested." he's like looking down because he's on his iphone. >> jimmy: well he's interested in minecraft. >> exactly. >> jimmy: look at him, here he is. he's cute. look at this guy. awe. [ laughter ] there is a pizza kid. >> so they see the pouting kid like, give him a pizza. that will make him feel better. >> jimmy: pizza make him happy. yeah, absolutely. >> bonjourno.
>> jimmy: do people always up and call you chloe on the street and come up to you like, "chloe." >> yeah. >> jimmy: "i'll pretend i'm jack." and do they do that? >> you know what, i actually had a -- >> jimmy: i would do that. [ laughter ] >> there was a -- this is a a whole other story but there was a warrant out for my arrest. i just didn't -- >> jimmy: for real? >> like i didn't put in the paper. >> jimmy: there's a warrant out for your arrest? >> yeah my car wasn't registered in time and so the thing wasn't on there. and the guy pulled me over. i'm driving a mazda like under the speed limit and he pulls me over. and you know, said what it's for. and i was like, really? and then he thought i was making fun of him. so he's like, "get out of the car." and then he recognized me. thank god, that totally saved me from being put in the slammer for being a smart ass. [ laughter ] so he's like, "oh you're the computer girl from that show." and then he says, "oh yeah, my friends call me jack bauer." [ laughter ] yeah, thank god i held my tongue because inside i was like, oh yeah really? you mean you make your friends call you jack bauer. [ laughter ] you know he's in the shower like, you know, "i'm
jack bauer." i'm pretty. like he's in the mirror. like no, you're pulling over like a full grown women very driving a mazda for having her expired registration. like you're not jack bauer dude. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that would be the best episode of "24" ever. "you got to pull over right now. there's a warrant out for your arrest." >> jack bauer will choke a man out just to get through a a corridor. did you do that this morning? no. he said, excuse me please. jack bauer wouldn't that. >> jimmy: but you got away with it. >> i got away with it. >> jimmy: see? so jack bauer. >> yeah, saved me once again. >> jimmy: yeah. did you thank him? did you thank the officer? >> i was like, "thank you officer rodriguez. i mean jack bauer." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he was like, "yes! cool!" he's like tweeted everybody. "cool they call me jack bauer. i told you guys." but now "24", we're not allowed to talk about anything right? what it's about and all that stuff for spoilers, is that right? >> it's kind of like "spider-man" a little bit. i don't' know. >> jimmy: not like "spider-man." >> no. >> jimmy: chloe's back. i saw the poster. and there's something different
about chloe this time. >> she's in a bad way. >> jimmy: what happened? >> she has become very anti-government. she's working for an organization similar to wiki leaks, giving out government secrets. she suffers personal tragedy. so she's heavily tattooed and pierced and a lot of black eye liner. >> jimmy: yeah, totally different chloe. oh i'm very excited. >> she's from the other side of the tracks. >> jimmy: oh i can't wait for this. i'm so excited to watch this "24." you're my favorite, pal. i want to show everyone a clip of mary lynn rajskub in "24, live another day." take a look. >> here i got this from a cpu. >> design schematics. some kind of multi-channel polaroid system. just ten modules. it's drones. you were right jack. this system can commandeer up to 10 u.s. drones. >> they're planning a full scale attack? >> all the evidence is here to alert the authorities. they can decrypt the data. >> okay good. >> no.
no, no, no, no, no. >> what's happening? >> jake invented a a self-destruct program. it's erasing itself. >> can you save it? chloe save it. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: please save it. we don't have time for this chloe! it's the best. i cannot wait for this. mary lynn rajskub. the special two hour premiere, "24: live another day" airs this monday at 8:00 p.m. on fox. chvrches performs next. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ a title sponsor has a certain responsibility to push the sport. it's through technology that we test the limits. and because results matter, a lot will be tested this season. by combining verizon technology and a network of track cameras, drivers and crews gain vantage points that can shave fractions of seconds. and by providing a live view from within the cars, fans can see what drivers see. so we're not just on the edge of our seats... ...we're on the edge of human potential.
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call 1-800-dentist today. ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guests made their american tv debut on our "late night" show almost a year ago. and since then they've exploded in popularity all over the world. 'cause of us. [ light laughter ] not at all, they're just so talented. performing their single "recover," from their album, "the bones of what you believe," please welcome chvrches! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ carved earth cold ♪ ♪ hiding from you in this skin so old ♪ ♪ i'll come clean
everywhere everyone knows it's me ♪ ♪ and if i recover will you be my comfort ♪ ♪ or it can be over or we can just leave at here ♪ ♪ so pick any number choose any color ♪ ♪ i've got the answer open the envelope ♪ ♪ i'll give you one more chance ♪ ♪ to say we can change or part ways ♪ ♪ and you take what you need and you don't need me ♪ ♪ i'll give you one more chance ♪ ♪ to say we can change our old ways ♪ ♪ and you take what you need and you know you don't need me ♪ ♪
♪ blow by blow honest in every way i know ♪ ♪ you appear to face a decision i know you fear ♪ ♪ and if i recover will you be my comfort ♪ ♪ or it can be over or we can just leave at here ♪ ♪ so pick any number choose any color ♪ ♪ i've got the answer open the envelope ♪ ♪ i'll give you one more chance ♪ ♪ to say we can change or part ways ♪ ♪ and you take what you need and you don't need me ♪ ♪ i'll give you one more chance ♪ ♪ to say we can change our old ways ♪
♪ and you take what you need and you know you don't need me ♪ ♪ ♪ and you know you don't need me ♪ ♪ ♪ and if i recover will you be my comfort ♪ ♪ or it can be over or we can just leave at here ♪ ♪ so pick any number choose any color ♪ ♪ i've got the answer open the envelope ♪ ♪ i'll give you one more chance ♪ ♪ to say we can change or part ways ♪ ♪ and you take what you need
and you don't need me ♪ ♪ i'll give you one more chance ♪ ♪ to say we can change our old ways ♪ ♪ and you take what you need and you know you don't need me ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: fantastic. thanks, good to see you again buddy. great to see you again. thank you so much. chvrches! chvrches, everybody! see them live friday, saturday and sunday right here in new york! we'll be right back. so great! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to andrew garfield, mary lynn rajskub. chvrches once again. and the roots ladies and gentlemen over there. stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thanks for watching, have a a great night. hope to see you tomorrow. bye-bye, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- kiefer sutherland, rose byrne,