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tv   Late Night With Seth Meyers  NBC  May 6, 2014 12:36am-1:38am PDT

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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- mindy kaling. jenna elfman. music from young the giant.
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featuring the 8g band with fred armisen. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ and now, here he is, seth meyers. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: good evening! i'm so excited. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers ] yeah? thank you for your enthusiasm. it's a great day because today is cinco de mayo. [ cheers and applause ] cinco de mayo, which commemorates the day that french armies were defeated at the battle of pueblo by drunk blonde girls in sombreros. [ laughter ] for those who don't know, cinco de mayo is basically st patrick's day with more lines.
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[ laughter ] some political news, the supreme court ruled today that public prayer, public prayer can be used to open official government meetings. that makes sense. a lot of people like to pray right before they go to sleep. [ laughter and applause ] please, please don't make this public meeting go on forever. this, i found this to be refreshing news from the world of business. the ceo of target resigned early this morning, saying that he holds himself personally accountable for last year's massive security breach. though he says he takes no responsibility for people calling it "tar-jeh." [ laughter ] that's on them. and they should be ashamed of themselves. you guys, this week is international clitoris awareness week. [ cheers and applause ]
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though, though i will say, i looked at my calendar and i couldn't find it. [ laughter ] this is cool. this is cool music news. adele posted a cryptic tweet today that hints about a possible album release in the coming months. and in anticipation of the album, women everywhere have already started crying. [ laughter ] the album is good news for adele fans, bad news for her boyfriend. got to figure he takes some hits when a new album comes out. "a new album? what did i do?" this is just nuts. over the weekend a georgia man robbed a local waffle house using a pitchfork. [ laughter ] which is surprising because people at waffle house are usually eating with a pitchfork.
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[ laughter and applause ] sorry. [ applause ] i messed that one up. it was supposed to start with, "you might be a redneck if --" [ laughter ] did you guys know that saturday was world naked gardening day? well, it was. at least according to a man being dragged away in handcuffs. [ laughter ] "i was celebrating!" [ laughter and applause ] a very weird story here. this weekend a drunk woman was questioned by police after she was caught having sex with a stranger in an airplane bathroom on her way to las vegas. the woman reportedly responded to every question with, "sure, why not?" [ laughter and applause ] i've seen the movie.
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this is scary. a washington, d.c. strip club was forced to evacuate after a nearby building collapsed on friday. authorities are blaming the incident on destiny, but she hadn't even started her shift yet. [ laughter and applause ] it seems unfair to blame destiny for this one. this is sweet. this is some sweet news. last week a pair of 78-year-old twins were reunited for the first time since birth. since birth. and what some are calling the most touching coors light commercial of all time. [ laughter ] "oh, twin?" philadelphia police are searching for a man who was caught masturbating on a city bus. and new york residents are searching for a city bus that doesn't have a masturbating man on it. [ laughter and applause ]
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so you can just complain about one in philadelphia? you're only allowed to complain about one in new york if it is the driver. [ laughter ] and even then, if he's making all the stops, why shouldn't he have a good time? this is weird. a group of three teenagers were arrested on saturday after they stole the flintstones car while it was on display at a comic book convention in sacramento. they were caught when they stopped to order a big tray of ribs and it tipped the car over. [ laughter and applause ] you gotta know better. crazy news. a resort in ft. lauderdale now offers mermaid weddings where the bride and groom can exchange vows under water while dressed with mermaid tails. which is great if you like weddings, but you love drowning. [ laughter ]
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you might be better off drowning if that's how your marriage is starting. and finally, i love this story. administrators in vermont had to call police after they found a group of middle school students, middle school students, baking pot cookies in home-ec class. [ cheers and applause ] in home economics class. although it sounds to me like they've got the economic part figured out. ladies and gentlemen, the 8g band! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> seth: how are we doing, 8g band? so lovely to see you guys after a weekend apart. fred, i'm always so happy when it's a monday and you're here with us. >> fred: yeah, i'm so glad.
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>> seth: that's great. and you were at the white house correspondence dinner this weekend? >> fred: it was so fun. >> seth: it was so great. i think joel mchale just did a great job. >> fred: absolutely. >> seth: that's great. i love when you're here because i feel like when you're here, i learn something new about you every day. you're just one of the most fascinating people i've ever come across. >> fred: thank you very much. >> seth: you're very welcome. although i do think sometimes people watch and they might think, like, oh, i just put you on the spot and you're just making something up as you go. [ laughter ] which, i would never accuse you of because you're my friend and why would you mislead me, you know? [ laughter ] so what i heard is --and i don't know if this is true -- have you launched your own line of flavored vodkas? >> fred: i did. [ laughter ] >> seth: great. so you did you that this weekend? >> fred: i did. it's a sort of --there's like a potato flavored one. [ laughter ] >> seth: i think a lot of vodkas are made with potatoes so there's not -- they're all -- >> fred: right. but this is like fried potatoes that i crammed down to the bottom of the bottle with a
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stick. [ laughter ] >> seth: gotcha. >> fred: so it's the true flavor of potato. and yeast and breads and just a lot of carbs just at the bottom of the bottle. [ laughter ] >> seth: so can you visually see it? is it like a bottle of vodka that looks like it has what sounds to me to be french fries at the bottom? >> fred: yes. exactly that. it's like a sediment. like a brownish, sort of yellowish sediment at the bottom. >> seth: now that i will say does not sound refreshing. and it seems like a lot of alcohol is just sort of marketed for being refreshing and whatnot. >> fred: yeah, but this is like my signature. do you know what i mean? this is more about like, putting my name on something. and it's more about that. and also it's got the real flavor of french fries. you know what i mean? like, it's more of like getting back to the potato. [ laughter ] >> seth: because you know you feel vodka has gotten away from its roots. >> fred: far, far away. >> seth: yeah. >> fred: just far away. >> seth: that's great. >> fred: yeah, i'd like to see that a lot more. >> seth: so now, if i'm at a bar in new york, i'm assuming it's in most bars, how do i order and what is it called? like, how would i order it? >> fred: ask for frankie's. >> seth: okay.
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>> fred: it's called frankie's vodka made by fred. i know, i know. i know, i know. [ laughter ] i know, i know. it's frankie's vodka made by fred for you. [ laughter ] >> seth: so i'm just saying, can i get a frankie's vodka made with fred for you? >> fred: made by fred for you. >> seth: on the rocks? >> fred: yes, uh, no. it's to-go. [ laughter ] but it's not to-go. that's just the name of it. >> seth: okay. [ laughter ] although it's weird, because when i order it, if i say "for you" it will sound like i'm talking to the bartender, but of course it is for me. >> fred: they'll know what it is. [ laughter ] >> seth: okay. well, congratulations. i'm so excited for you. really. >> fred: thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: um, a little housekeeping real quick. i don't know if you watched the show last week. i told the story, amy poehler and i were out to dinner like two weeks ago. we split the bill for dinner and we ended up with each other's credit cards. i returned hers with the money
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for the things i had bought. she has not returned mine. every time i ask her to return it she sends me a photo of her holding it in, like a store. [ laughter ] i'm going to see her tomorrow night at a charity event, so hopefully we'll sort everything out. it was a very quiet weekend on the credit card front. and i know this is a thing that people only say in movies, but i actually thought it for the first time. it was almost too quiet. [ laughter ] i was a little worried. we talked on this show, we've had a lot of, fred and my old friends from "snl" have been on. we talked about doing something called "second chance theater" where old "snl" cast members will come out and they'll talk about a sketch that either got cut at dress rehearsal or never went past the read-through table. and we're gonna give them a chance to mount it here on our show, and will forte is booked for our first "second chance theater" may 13th, and the world will for the first time see jenjamin franklin, a sketch that will forte -- [ cheers and applause ]
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a sketch that will forte wrote and submitted probably five to 11 times at "snl." and did i hold the position that i didn't think it was a sketch we should do on the show. but now i'm going on give him a chance and we'll give the audience a chance to see who was right, myself or will forte. and if jenjamin franklin was in fact something that america was robbed of jenjamin franklin. and my last thing, which was an inconvenience that my wife and i have been dealing with for awhile with our cable, but it's very specific. and last night we were so excited to watch "game of thrones," but we were also worried because this is a thing that has been happening for over a year, which is on our hbo, "game of thrones" is in spanish. hbo is not in spanish, because we double checked. we watched the show before it. it's not in spanish. and after it's not in spanish. and we've gone through the spanish language hbo hoping it would be the english "game of thrones" and it's also spanish. [ laughter ]
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and it's very --it's so -- it's actually more thrilling in an episode of "game of thrones" watching to see if we have the spanish one or not. because you don't know during the opening song. the song's the same in english and spanish because there are no lyrics. it's like, "da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da." that's the same in english and spanish. and you'll have to excuse me, 'cause my spanish isn't great, but basically we know we have the wrong one when all of a sudden "game of thrones" comes over the screen and the voice over goes -- [ speaking in spanish ] [ laughter ] [ applause ] i'm like, oh man. [ applause ] we have spanish "game of thrones." so i'm a day behond on "game of thrones." i have to wait to watch it on on demand or something. so we have, you guys, "game of thrones" or not, we have a great show for you tonight. from "the mindy project," mindy kaling is here. [ cheers and applause ] a really good friendf mine, mindy kaling. from nbc's "growing up fisher," the lovely jenna elfman will be stopping by.
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[ cheers and applause ] and we will have music from young the giant. [ cheers and applause ] so i don't know about you guys, but recently i've been hearing a lot in the news about the issue of net neutrality. and it's a bit of a complicated issue. but basically, it's about being able to access internet content without limitations imposed by your service provider. and while many people are confused by the issue, i actually think i can explain it pretty quickly and accurately. in fact, ben! can you come out here, ben? all right, everybody please, give it up for ben. [ cheers and applause ] ben is one of the writers on the show. can you help me out tonight, ben? >> sure, seth. i'm always happy to do anything you force me to do. >> seth: okay, great. [ light laughter ] well, i bet i can explain net neutrality to our audience faster than you, ben, can open this blister pack of headphones. [ laughter ] the only catch, ben, is that you
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can only use your hands. no scissors. do you think you can beat me? >> i do not. >> seth: are you ready? [ laughter ] ready, set, go. ♪ net neutrality is the idea that you should have the freedom to access web content without a restriction. however, internet service providers contend that they have the right to set up a so-called fast lane, where they charge companies extra to transfer large files like movies or video games. and a free full lane for less complicated files like pictures of your dog wearing heart-shaped sunglasses. it also means that internet companies can make their own content free, easy and fast while making their competitors' content expensive, difficult and slow. in fact, verizon is facing allegations they've been slowing access to netflix. so if you thought netflix couldn't get any slower, you're wrong. ben, hang on a second. ben, how are you doing over here? >> it's coming. it's not there. it's like -- >> seth: well, what if i gave you some scissors? would that help, ben? >> yeah. that would help a lot. >> seth: okay, great. well, here are five. hit it. [ laughter ] for a while it seemed like the fcc wasn't into that. but last january, it was ruled that the fcc actually has no authority to regulate the way internet companies determine service. the reason the story is in the news now is that last month the fcc -- [ taking very fast ]
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[ cheers ] so that's basically what net neutrality is. how did you do, ben? [ cheers ] [ light laughter ] >> it's not about who won or lost. [ laughter ] >> seth: but i won, right? >> yeah, you did. >> seth: well, thank you so much, ben. >> can i keep the scissors and headphones? >> seth: you bet, buddy! [ cheers and applause ] >> things are looking up for ol' ben. >> seth: give it up for ben, everyone. we'll be right back with more "late night" after this! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ water's everywhere. like in our sinks... our hands... excuse me... sorry!
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to "late night," everybody! one of the main things we do at this show are called "desk pieces." they let us tell all kinds of topical jokes in a sort of set format. "venn diagrams," is an example of a desk piece. letterman's "top 10 list" is a classic example. the problem is these pieces are time consuming and they exhaust my writing staff. [ light laughter ] but not for long. because we here at "late night" just bought this bad boy on
12:57 am it is called, here we go, i think i had it backwards. it is called "the desk piece robot." and it is designed to come one topical jokes, so we don't have to. so all you have to do is talk into this microphone. say who or what you want to joke about and it responds within seconds. do you guys want to see the desk piece robot in action? [ cheers and applause ] all right. so, i will turn it on. [ ding ] [ light laughter ] >> hello, "late night" network talk show host. awaiting command for joke. >> seth: all right. and it sounds like it's ready to go. let's test it with something pretty easy. kim kardashian, she's is always in the news so here we go. kim kardashian. >> kim kardashian. begin comedy connection sequence for kim kardasian. >> seth: okay, so right now, desk piece robot will scour the internet for the latest kim kardashian news and her potential comedic connections with other people, places and things. >> comedic connection sequence begin. kim and kanye tweet memes of pharrell's hat taking selfies with obama on twitter backlash female nudity on "game of thrones."
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kim kardashian joke now calculated. >> seth: that is amazing. [ laughter ] it would take a human writer all day to research the entire internet to make the perfect joke. it took desk piece robot five seconds. >> would you like to hear joke? >> seth: yes. >> kim kardashian walks into a bar and says, "my butt is big." end of joke. aha! aha! aha! [ laughter ] did you enjoy joke? >> seth: no. i didn't enjoy joke. this thing cost me $22,000. >> prepare for next joke. >> seth: well, maybe it just needs to get the digital blood flowing. okay. what else is in the news? okay, here we go. obamacare. >> comedic connection sequence for obamacare. obama tweets memes of kim and kanye. upworthy. what happens next will make you cry, cry, cry. "huffington post." 27 .gifs of dogs who look like rob ford. grumpy cat, epic fail, twitter backlash. >> seth: all right. well, we're excited to hear how this all gets pulled together. >> obamacare joke calculated. would you like to hear joke? >> seth: yes. >> obamacare walks into bar and says, "i have a big butt. viagra." end of joke. aha! aha! aha!
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woody allen. >> seth: okay, i'm very concerned because i gave my writing staff the next two weeks off because i thought this thing would write the show. >> two weeks, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two weeks, two weeks, two weeks. >> seth: stop it. stop it. stop it. tell better jokes. >> i am sorry. please don't hit me. >> seth: okay. [ laughter ] let's try another one. this one will be very easy, okay? this is a very easy one. chris christie. >> comedic connection for chris christie. chris christie laugh and tweets memes of tinder, okay cupid, facebook, buzzfeed, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat. chris christie is fat, fat, fat, fat, fat. make fun of him because he is fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat. joke calculated. would you like to hear joke? >> seth: yes, fine. >> chris christie walks into bar and talks about obesity in america and his personal battle with weight loss. very humanizing. then falls down into cake and farts. viagra. [ laughter ] aha! aha! aha! >> seth: why are you -- that's not a joke! [ laughter ] that's not a joke to just say "fart." >> fart, fart, fart, fart. hbo's "girls." fart, fart, fart.
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retweet my podcast. >> seth: you know what? >> fart, fart, fart, fart. >> seth: something is wrong with it. you know, i think this is a situation where you want to unplug it and reboot it. see what's going on. and i'm so sorry about this. but i did -- that's $22,000. >> fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart. >> seth: connor? >> fart! >> seth: this is one of our writers, connor. get out from under there. [ cheers and applause ] what's going on? are you the desk piece robot? >> no. no. >> seth: are you lying to me? >> uh, wait, no, maybe, i don't know. i think so, kind of. am i in trouble? >> seth: why are you doing this? >> so i can be rich and famous. hey, did you like desk piece robot? >> seth: no. where are your clothes? >> i took them off because it's super hot down here. hold up. shut up. am i on tv right now? >> seth: yes. that's a camera.
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>> awesome. hey, what's poppin' party people? get freak nasty while watching "crate night" with seth meyers. >> seth: all right. you know what? we're gonna talk later. we'll be right back with mindy kaling! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to "late night," everyone. our first guest is the creator and star of the very funny series, "the mindy project." the second season finale airs tomorrow night on fox. please welcome my friend, mindy kaling! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: so lovely to have you here. >> so good to see you. wow! i love this. i love this environment.
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>> seth: it's a nice environment, right? >> hi, fred! >> seth: fred's there. >> how are you? hello, girl in audience that said hello to me and me alone. [ laughter ] >> good to see you, seth. >> seth: we've known each other for so long. >> yes. >> seth: but i'm so happy, because your show has all these great guest stars. but i was one of the first guest stars on your show. i was -- >> oh, yeah. >> seth: i was in your second else. >> yep, old school. >> seth: and it was great, because i'm also a lover of romantic comedies. and we had like a meet-cute as you would call it. i feel like you popularized that term more than anyone in this country. >> you were first meet-cute on our show. >> seth: which is really -- that's like historic. >> yeah. >> seth: that's smithsonian level stuff right there. [ light laughter ] >> i loved it. >> seth: and we have a -- do you mind? it's like very sort of self-promoting, but i would love to roll a clip. >> i would be so excited. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: all right. so here we are. here's my meet-cute. i play an architect on "mindy." >> are you gonna buy that book? >> seth: i was thinking about it. >> i'm only asking because i have two books and you have one. so if we combine them, i can get a tote bag.
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>> seth: but why wouldn't i get the free tote bag? >> 'cause you're a guy. what do you need a tote bag for? >> seth: i can store all my tote bags i don't use in it. >> all right. well, um, i'm going to ask that old lady. maybe she'll play ball. see you. >> seth: wait, wait, wait. maybe we can work this out. >> how? >> seth: i'm thinking joint custody. you get the tote bag during the week. i'll take the tote bag on the weekends. >> yeah. i can live with that. >> seth: all right. great. shall we go shakespeare? >> no no. i don't support shakespeare. i heard a story that he didn't write any of his plays. he made his butlers and then he took all the credit. >> seth: so you're saying the butler did it? that sounds pretty dumb. >> but if it is true, isn't that the most despicable thing you've ever heard? [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: that's great. >> the whole episode is just us talking. >> seth: that's actually so not true. but that's the end of my role in that episode. >> it's great. we never -- you're very charming. you're picking -- you're picking my character up in that. >> seth: absolutely. i totally picked you up. >> effortlessly. >> seth: the tote bag. >> yeah, i thought it was so adorable. people loved it. but then we never heard from the architect.
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>> seth: never heard from again. do you as a creator of the show, have any sense of what happened to my character? >> no, it could go so many ways. [ light laughter ] part of my thinks like, sure, he could be married and have a by now. but he could also be a murderer -- a serial murderer. [ laughter ] >> seth: that's great. >> you know, like maybe if i had gone on a date with you, i'd be dead. the character would be dead. >> seth: well, in later seasons, if you feel like the need to shift it up into, like, "csi: the mindy project" -- [ laughter ] >> yeah, yeah. >> seth: i'd love to come back. >> murder-suicide. that would be great. no, you're alive and well. hopefully when you have a break from this incredibly busy, full-time job you have -- >> seth: okay, good. i want to still be alive. i want to hold out hope. now you -- i also have the distinction of your guest stars. 'cause, like, right after me, you pretty much make out with every guy on the show. and you didn't go near me. >> yeah, so the one thing -- i've even made out with your brother. >> seth: yes. my brother, josh. >> seth's brother, josh, is incredibly, funny, talented handsome actor, came on the show. and, um, we made out a lot. [ laughter ] >> seth: yes. >> and you're the only love interest i've had on the show that we never smooched. >> seth: yeah. >> it's great. i've kissed like everyone in your immediate family except for you.
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>> seth: i think -- i think you had a murderer vibe from the beginning. [ laughter ] >> no. i want to, like, get your dad on the show and then be like, tick, tick, tick. it's only a matter of time. >> seth: i've made out with every man in the meyers family. >> yeah. you -- i love you on twitter. i love out instagram. you engage with your fans, which is really nice. >> mm hmm. >> seth: and you recently got the greatest gift from one of your fans. >> yeah this is so -- if you hashtag "the mindy project" or my name i can search for people. and recently a fan named a pet after me. which has never happened. >> seth: okay. i have a photo of the pet. >> yeah. >> seth: which is great. so why don't tell us what's going on here. >> a little rat. [ laughter ] >> okay. sure, you know, in your -- when you grow up and you want to be an actress on tv, you hope that maybe someone would name like a cuter, like a basset hound or like a goldfish or something. >> seth: sure. >> whatever, i'll take a rat. now here's the thing -- she was like "hey, so i got two new rats. one of them is named luna and one of them is named mindy after 'the mindy project'." i'm going on assume here that i'm the darker one.
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[ laughter ] >> seth: i just think that that one is so clearly a luna. >> and i'm -- that's me there. and then, a little disturbing though. it's a cute, adorable girl, very excited about these new pets. and she's like, "you know, new rats can never replace the rats that died last week." and i'm like "wait, what?" [ laughter ] so i read on and she had these other two rats that passed away. so i don't try to normally do this. i commented on it. and i was like "hey, can i sponsor the rat? i would like it to have a nice long life." >> seth: you're worried that she maybe hasn't been the greatest rat owner. >> yeah. i mean -- i mean it's hard when you have a rat. like, who wants to love a rat? >> seth: like if there's a "doctor" in her twitter name, that's when i would be worried. 'cause they're doing experiments on rats pretty much 24-7. >> oh, god, you're right. that's sad. >> seth: that is sad. >> i hope i'm not being torturedin the lab. >> seth: no. i think you look pretty happy. again, i just want to show mindy the rat one more time. [ applause ]
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i actually -- you know what? i think the rats are acting out our scene from "the mindy project." [ light laughter ] there is a pretty flirty vibe between these rats. >> yeah. >> seth: you actually had a for real life meet-cute this weekend. >> oh, yes, yes, yes. >> you were also at the white house correspondence dinner. >> that's where i saw fred. >> seth: yeah. so you're taking the train home. >> i'm trying so hard to have a rapport with fred. >> seth: it's impossible. >> and he is just standingly their stonily, not giving me anything. >> seth: he has a very rock star vibe on this show. >> yeah he does. [ laughter ] >> fred: i was told not to talk. seth asked me not to talk. >> seth: and i also told you never to say that on tv! you have to make it look like it was your choice. >> just because when i saw him this weekend, i was like "fred!" and he was like, "mindy!" and we were like blah, blah, blah, blah, blah! chatty, chatty. and here, on television, he's rendered silent. so i think it's weird. [ light laughter ] he's saying, "free me, free me." that's not right, seth. that's not right. >> seth: so your meet-cute.
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>> oh, yeah, my meet-cute. [ laughter ] >> stop distracting me. okay, no, so i, um -- i was coming back from d.c. and i was on the train. and of course i packed way too much stuff into this enormous suitcase. so, i was trying to lift it, no one was helping me. all of a sudden, this incredibly dashing 6'3" blond man with, like, a perfect body was like, "can i help you with that, miss?" and without me even answering, lifted it, hoisted it up with what seemed lik his pinky. and, like, put in it there and closed and it smiled at me. and i was like "oh, my god. this is my husband. it's happeneing. this is real." [ laughter ] >> seth: right. >> um, it's andy roddick. >> seth: oh, my god! >> and i was like -- and he smiled at me. he sort of did a double take like he might have known me or something. and i was like "oh, thank you so much." and wandered away. but when people say you have these like handsome guest stars, like you or whoever, glenn howerton or seth rogen -- it happens in my real life. like, these are people who are really happening. >> seth: also, it like happens in your life with handsomer people than you cast in your
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show. >> it's insane. [ laughter ] i know, that's true. >> seth: that's like, i'm a real uggo compared to like -- >> no! you guys are -- you're like a funny guy. [ laughter and applause ] no, no! no! that's not -- he wishes he was -- >> seth: all right, i know what this is about. and i am sorry i did not help put your luggage up. i had a bad back. >> he was -- if i was at a book store table with him, he'd be like, "uh, tennis?" and you were, like, keepin' up. [ laughter ] >> seth: nice save. >> thank you. [ applause ] >> seth: so happy to have you here. >> i'm so happy to be here. >> seth: give it up for mindy kaling, everyone. [ cheers and applause ] the season finale of "the mindy project" airs tomorrow night on fox. we'll be right back with jenna elfman! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to "late night," everybody! you know our next guest to know from her past work on the hit series "dharma and greg." she is currently starring in the new comedy "growing up fisher" which airs tuesday nights at 9:30 on nbc. please welcome the lovely
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jenna elfman! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: thank you so much for being here. >> thanks for having me. i love you! >> oh, thank you. and congratulations on the show. you sort of play like a cool mom on the show. you don't -- you sort of want to be a little bit younger, act younger. >> yeah. she has had a divorce and was married and had children very young and to a blind man. so, she's now getting divorced and is actually going to be seen by men. >> seth: right. so this is a big step. >> yeah, it's a big deal. like, oh! [ laughter ] there's something here to this! so she's trying way too hard. and she's going back to college. and is trying to live vicariously through her teenage daughter. >> seth: that's great. so we have a clip. do you want to set this up for us at all? >> yeah. she kind of goes back to work for her ex-husband who is a blind attorney. this is all based on a true story by the way.
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100% true. seems outrageous. but -- >> so she is just kind of giving him the like low-down for the day. >> seth: all right. let's take a look. >> good morning, joyce. >> just an fyi. i am expecting my first round of grades this afternoon and i'm a little nervous so don't expect too much from me workwise. >> well, good luck with the grades and don't expect too much from me paywise. >> and the copier -- and papers, they look sort of contracty. just thought you should know. >> no problem. [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: he is so great. >> he is super talented. >> seth: having to play that, you really totally believe that. he's great. >> yes. he's brilliant. >> seth: now, you are a mother of two in real life. are your children entertaining to you? >> endless. and lovely. they're so sweet and beautiful. >> seth: how old are they? >> two boys, 6 and 4. actually, i was driving them the other day and they're in the backseat and they're talking about their girlfriends. [ laughter ] >> seth: they both have girlfriends. >> they both have girlfriends. my 6-year-old was talking about, i will not say her name so it keeps their privacy -- >> seth: gotcha. also, they shouldn't be watching
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at this hour. >> really shouldn't. and then the 4-year-old, not to be outdone by his six-year-old brother, was talking about his girlfriend who's a dolphin. [ laughter ] >> seth: really? >> yeah, and he was talking about -- >> seth: how did they meet? [ laughter ] >> a really romantic date at the aquarium. and he was talking about how he like, can't wait to like, stick his finger in her wet hole. [ laughter ] >> seth: not knowing like -- no awareness of what -- >> dolphin science. >> seth: gotcha. so he's -- >> but it was in the context of his girlfriend. and he wants to see how far he can stick his finger in her hole. [ laughter ] >> seth: gotcha. >> seth: i feel like they might put a photo of your son at the aquarium with like a "do not admit." [ laughter ] >> exactly. he is already getting a reputation. i was choking to death while driving in the front seat. because i didn't -- he is so genuine. he is so sweet. and i didn't want to be like laughing at him. i didn't want to have to explain the context.
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and i was -- my 6-year-old is very astute. he's like, "what, mom?" i was choking. and he heard like something. and he was like, "what? what?" i was like, "nothing, nothing." changing the subject. but it was awesome. [ light laughter ] >> seth: here's what the really awesome thing is there's like one weirdo watching at home watching tonight that's going, "there is nothing wrong with any of that." [ laughter ] >> yeah! i think i just got him turned on. [ laughter ] >> seth: now, you have been married for almost 20 years. >> a hundred years. >> seth: a hundred years. >> yes. [ laughter ] >> seth: in married years you're 100 years. >> like 500, really. >> seth: and you and your husband have a podcast. >> yeah, we do a podcast. >> seth: that's great. and is it about relationships? >> it is nothing educational or pedantic or anything. we have been together forever. we have hung in there and we're both very un-serious. and we just talk about our marriage and our issues and just throw it out there. and it is funny and r-rated. do not listen to it while you're
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driving the kids to school. [ laughter ] >> seth: okay. >> and we just throw it out there. >> seth: what is it called? >> "kicking and screaming." it's on itunes. >> seth: "kicking and screaming." that's great. now, i just got married in september. >> congratulations. [ cheers and applause ] and to a very amazing woman. >> seth: she's an amazing woman. >> seth: yeah, she's a very smart lady. but you're the expert. so i wanna take -- >> i'm an expert. >> seth: i'm going on ask you some questions. so here's some marriage questions. >> i will answer your questions. >> seth: we're moving. in our building, same apartment, a couple floors away. i love our apartment now so i want to redo it so it looks like the exact same apartment. my wife wants to use this opportunity to fix the things she doesn't like. >> absolutely. yes. >> seth: so i'm right, right? >> no. [ laughter ] you are wrong. >> seth: okay. gotcha. >> the homestead is for her to determine. >> seth: okay, gotcha -- >> you can be consulted -- you know what? you get like a zone. >> seth: okay. >> that's your zone. >> seth: -- very small like my zone would be like -- >> it's an apartment, right? >> seth: a new york apartment. >> so then your zone is probably like, you know, a hole in the closet. it's yours.
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>> seth: here's another one. every time i come home there is a guy there that she says is our gardener, but we don't have a garden. [ laughter ] should i be concerned? [ laughter ] >> are you still getting laid? >> seth: yeah, i'm doing pretty good. >> then don't question it. >> seth: okay, great. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] so helpful. jenna elfman, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] "growing up fisher" airs tuesday nights at 9:30 here on nbc. we'll be right back with young the giant! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ to make the boulevards, the avenues, the concrete, chaos and congestion we call civilization easier to navigate, we made the all-new jeep cherokee. with blind spot monitoring, forward collision and lane departure warning. because even a restless mind, needs peace of mind.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: my next guests are a critically-acclaimed rock band from southern california. and they're here to premiere their new single, "mind over matter." please welcome young the giant! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ mind over matter does it matter to any of us
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don't change the subject i'm heavy on your love ♪ ♪ i missed that train new york city, it rains fly to east l.a. in big jet planes ♪ ♪ you know you're on my mind ♪ ♪ and if the world don't break i'll be shakin' it 'cause i'm a young man after all ♪ ♪ and when the seasons change will you stand by me 'cause i'm a young man built to fall ♪ ♪ ♪ mind over matter
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i'm in tatters thinkin' about her taste my disaster ♪ ♪ it's heavy on my tongue ♪ ♪ all the lights aglow tokyo, it snows go to watch the show curtain's closed ♪ ♪ i'm watching you this time ♪ ♪ and if the world don't break i'll be shakin' it 'cause i'm a young man after all ♪ ♪ and when the seasons change will you stand by me 'cause i'm a young man built to fall ♪ ♪ i missed that train new york city, it rains fly to east l.a. in big jet planes ♪ ♪ you know you're
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on my mind ♪ ♪ all the lights aglow tokyo, it snows go to watch the show curtain's closed ♪ ♪ i'm watching you this time ♪ ♪ ♪ mind over matter mind over matter you know you're on my mind ♪ ♪ ♪ and if the world don't break i'll be shakin' it 'cause i'm a young man after all ♪
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♪ and when the seasons change will you stand by me 'cause i'm a young man built to fall ♪ ♪ and if the world don't break ♪ ♪ and when the seasons change will you stand by me 'cause i'm a young man built to fall ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: young the giant! the album, "mind over matter", is available now. for tour dates go to stay tuned for more "late night"! [ cheers and applause ]
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: my thanks to mindy kaling, jenna elfman, and once again, young the giant! and of course the 8g band. stay tuned for carson daly. we'll see you tomorrow! ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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♪ >> carson: hey, what's up, everybody? i'm carson and you're watching "last call." thank you for that. tonight, we're at "dimples" in burbank to bring you music from lp, a snapshot on the austin band, ume, and right now, the "last call spotlight." in about five years, sophia amoruso went from selling vintage clothing on ebay to running the fastest growing retail company on the planet. the story of "nasty gal" and her rise as the company's founder and ceo is chronicled her new book, "#girlboss" and for more, we go to 57 in downtown l.a. and meet sophia. take a look. ♪ >> a girlboss has her smile. it's ready to go as her


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