tv Late Night With Seth Meyers NBC May 8, 2014 12:36am-1:38am PDT
music from the 1975. featuring the 8g band with fred armisen. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ and now, here he is, seth meyers. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everyone doing tonight? well, all right. well, let's get started. the obama administration announced new guidelines today, that would require schools to provide equal education to all children, regardless of their immigration status. so sorry illegal immigrants, you're getting an american education. [ laughter ] i don't know if you've been following the donald sterling
saga, but it continues. the los angeles district attorney is now investigating sterling's mistress after she allegedly threatened to release more audio recordings in order to blackmail him. sterling is very upset. because he prefers to be whitemailed. [ laughter and applause ] he's made that very clear. he's made that very clear. rob ford is still in the news, perpetually in the news. yesterday, rob ford told "the toronto sun" that rehab reminds him of the football camp he went to as a kid. while everything else reminds him of crack. [ applause ] "what does that cloud look like to you?" "i don't know, maybe like a butterfly? why?
what does it look like to you?" "crack." "oh, i love this song. the last time i heard this song i was doing crack. it's our song." [ light laughter ] the nfl draft is this week. is anybody excited for the nfl draft? [ cheers and applause ] the nfl draft is this week and the nfl estimates that over 1,000 members of the media and 3,500 fans will attend. so come and see your favorite players do what they do best. hold up a shirt. [ laughter and applause ] very new hats at the nfl draft. it's always young men with giant heads wearing very new hats. very flat brims. very new, on giant heads. [ light laughter ] richard branson, we all know richard branson. richard branson has announced plans to develop a new type of
plane that could fly from new york to tokyo in one hour. one hour. apparently the engines are powered by human screams. [ laughter ] also, the bad news, it still takes an hour and a half to deplane. i don't know why. this is very surprising. a british travel company has launched a new app designed to help users plan a vacation to north korea. but they're still working on an app to get you back. so you wait until that one's beta tested before you go over there. [ cheers and applause ] this is a scary story, i apologize in advance for telling you a scary story. a hospital in great britain has issued a formal apology to a man after they accidentally gave him a vasectomy.
the crazy part is that he only went into the hospital to ask for directions. [ laughter ] "oh, you were looking for a cul-de-sac." [ laughter ] i don't see what happened. oh, i see what happened. i read it wrong, didn't i? i was surprised by this. a new survey suggests that buying a dog can be the key to fixing a failing relationship. or if you would rather end the relationship, you can get a cat. [ light laughter ] and then it's over. this is a really sweet story. this week, pittsburgh window cleaners dressed up like superheros, in order to cheer up patients at a children's hospital. though it backfired, because the kids were super bummed out to learn that batman spends his days cleaning windows. [ laughter ] his new archenemy is streaks.
[ light laughter ] this is interesting, ontario nutrition company c.e.n. biotech has announced plans to build the world's largest and most efficient marijuana factory. though, i bet there isn't a ton of competition for most efficient marijuana factory. [ light laughter ] i bet there isn't. i find this fascinating. yesterday, a 6'8" brazilian woman married her long time boyfriend who's 5'4." the couple met at a park after the woman noticed her shoe was untied. [ light laughter ] "oh, hello. how long have you been down there?" according to a survey by the condom brand, durex, couples in
mexico had the most exciting sex, and i'm guessing it's because they don't use durex. [ light laughter ] it's a guess. i just didn't take the survey, i don't know. this is just crazy. a man in louisville has gotten a tattoo of a kfc double down sandwich, which is two pieces of fried chicken with cheese in the middle. but don't worry. it's not permanent because it's tattooed on his foot. [ light laughter ] that's a very serious joke about diabetes. and i want to assure you that no one was more confident it wouldn't work than i was. [ light laughter ] this is cool. google maps announced an update to their mobile app that will incorporate the car service, uber into its directions. while apple maps announced an update that will incorporate maps.
which would be helpful. which ultimately will be helpful. this made me feel old. the series finale of "friends" aired 10 years ago today. and also, eight years ago and five years ago. and three times last monday, as long as you have cable. because that show is on all the time. [ light laughter ] and finally, more surgical mishaps, an australian surgeon has been suspended after he accidentally removed a man's testicle as well as the wrong kidney. suspended? what do you have to do to get fired? ladies and gentlemen, this is the 8g band. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
>> seth: how are you, 8g band? everybody good? great to see you all. fred, how are you? >> fred: good, how are you doing? >> seth: i'm great. i'm so happy to have you here this week. it's been a delight. and i love having you here, because, we've known each other a long time. but i feel like when you're here, i learn something new every day. >> fred: great. >> seth: you have such an interesting life. and it's so interesting, and i hope this isn't true, but i do feel like sometimes people watching at home feel like you might be making it up off the top of your head. [ light laughter ] i don't feel that way, but i just want you to know that i do sometimes worry that people feel that way. but, i don't know, did this happen? i heard you were doing renovations on your apartment, and you found something in one of the walls? >> fred: i did. [ laughter ] tons of sugar cubes. just tons and tons of sugar cubes. and i unraveled it and they just kept spilling out.
you know, these just little perfect little -- >> seth: wrapped sugar cubes or unwrapped? >> fred: both. [ laughter ] and they were everywhere. i mean, just leading into every room. just so many little sugar cubes. the whole place. >> seth: now, i would assume that if your walls are filled with sugar cubes, you're going to have a mouse problem? >> fred: yeah, there were all different kinds of animals that have been in there because of the -- >> seth: gotcha. >> fred: some you wouldn't even recognize. just all kinds of animals. >> seth: so you knew about the animals before, that wasn't the surprise? >> fred: yes, and i knew about them, because i would see them coming out carrying little sugar cubes. you know what i mean? [ light laughter ] so they would be holding them. and i thought, "well, that's nice." i thought maybe they were bringing them in, i wasn't really sure. [ light laughter ] but then, little by little, i thought, "well, where are they getting them from?" so i just sort of dug in, and there they were. >> seth: gotcha. so are you having like -- is a company coming to help you get rid of the sugar cubes? what are you gonna do? >> fred: what i'm gonna do is i'm going to try to make the whole house kind of more filled with sugar cubes -- so there's this sort of symmetry. you know what i mean? so that this way it's all one thing. you know what i mean?
>> seth: i do know what you mean, but it seems to me you're going to continue to have this animal problem. >> fred: all right. [ laughter ] uh-huh. all right. well, thank you for that. i didn't even see it that way. >> seth: no worries. >> fred: i'm so busy all the time, it's so hard to keep track of what's what. >> seth: sure. >> fred: i see what you're saying. >> seth: yeah. well, either way, congratulations on your new renovations in your apartment. that's great. >> fred: oh, thank you very much. >> seth: give it up for fred armisen, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] i have some good news. my long, national nightmare is over. my personal, national nightmare. i don't know if you've been watching the show, but three weeks ago, myself and the great amy poehler went out to dinner. and we went out to dinner and we split the bill. and we each -- we have the same kind of credit card. we paid with our credit cards and we accidentally took each other's credit cards. i, being a good citizen, immediately returned her credit card. she has been going on a three-week spending spree. [ light laughter ] so, last night we were at a charity event together. we were there at this great
event called lol for los to raise money for leukemia research and lymphoma research. and we were there with all these great comedians. nick kroll, judah friedlander. tina fey was there, john mulaney. bleachers was the band. it was a great night. and i knew i was going to see amy there, so i knew i could get back my credit card. and when i got there, amy, she was on stage. and she told -- she knew i was there and she told this audience of wonderful people who paid to be there that she would like to make a $5,000 donation in her name on my card. so round of applause to the audience, very exciting. [ applause ] that's what happened last night as well. at which point she said, "although i do feel like i should bring seth out and make sure he's cool with it." so then i came on stage and she said, "seth, are you okay making this donation? and if not, you can just tell everyone here -- that you have better things to do with your money than help fund research."
so i said, "no, i'm good. we can make the donation." at which point, the host thanked amy for her generosity. but it's great, i got my credit card back. -- the money went to a good cause, and i'm very happy about that. and, of course, i'm always very happy to spend time with amy poehler. [ cheers and applause ] so you guys, we have such a great show for you tonight. anna wintour and sarah jessica parker are here. [ cheers and applause ] very excited to talk to them. also stopping by from the nfl network, rich eisen is with us tonight to talk about the nfl draft with rich eisen. and we have music from the 1975. we'll be right back with more "late night." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ male announcer ] we start the day thinking about one thing.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to "late night," everyone. if you know me, you know that i love breakfast. so, i thought it would be fun to show you everything i ate for breakfast this week in a piece we're calling "this week's breakfast." [ rooster crows ] [ applause ] so, i started off the week with what i thought was the perfect breakfast. and what -- [ cymbal crashes ] i'm sorry, just hold on one second. hey, um -- everything okay over there? >> fred: yeah, sorry, we're trying to get another stool here. >> seth: why do you need another stool? >> fred: we just got your note about you wanted your nephew derek to play drums with kim tonight? >> seth: my note? >> fred: yeah. it's got your signature and everything.
we just got it. >> seth: derek. no, i didn't -- that's not my note. that's -- somebody forged my signature. derek! derek, get over here. god, i am so sorry about this everyone. my nephew derek is visiting, and i promised his mom i'd keep an eye on him tonight. [ applause ] and make sure he'd do his homework. but it looks like i can't let him out of my sight. so, now he has to sit with me at the desk -- where he can't get into any trouble. have a seat, derek. [ laughter ] >> hey, uncle seth. cool house. [ laughter ] >> seth: you know i don't live here. >> yeah, but maybe you should, right? [ laughter ] what's up? >> seth: no, i'm not going to high-five you, derek. >> why? give me some. >> seth: no. you're interrupting our show. we talked about this. you said you were going to be cool? >> i know. i thought it would be funny. but i guess it was just immature. i'm sorry. [ laughter ] >> seth: it's okay. it's okay, buddy. your mom told me you still had algebra homework to do? okay, great. so -- where was i? this week's breakfast, right.
so, monday was a great breakfast. i had two eggs over easy, grapefruit juice, an english muffin and also i'm a butt face. i'm a big old butt face. my face is my butt and i'm -- i'm sorry, wait. [ laughter ] what's going on? wally, why is that on the cue card? >> i got your handwritten note about changing all the rest of the lines on the cards, seth. >> seth: wally, do you think i would, for no reason at all, decide to just say that my face is a butt in the middle of a segment? >> it's -- it's got your signature and everything. [ laughter ] >> seth: okay, you know what -- thanks a lot, derek. [ cheers and applause ] >> uncle seth. come on, uncle seth, it was just a prank. up top, give me some! >> seth: no, i'm not going to high five you. [ laughter ] >> give me one. somebody's got to give me one. >> seth: no one's giving you a high five. wally, what the hell? [ cheers and applause ] derek, no. >> wally's my man. >> seth: you're in big-time trouble. i'm not even kidding right now. >> well -- geez, uncle seth, just -- will you relax? come on, it's a comedy show, right? everybody is laughing and having
a good time. everybody's having a good time, right? [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: sorry. everyone, i'm sorry. i'm glad you're having a good time. but don't encourage him. really not cool, derek. >> you're right. i know. i'm sorry. [ laughter ] >> seth: it's all right. but at some point, you have to stop being sorry and you have to change your behavior, you know? like -- when i was your age, i would have killed to have the privilege of being on a television show. but i feel like you're here and you just -- [ laughter ] -- you don't seem to understand. i'm sorry, what's -- what's going on with my monitor? why are we full screen on my nose? all right, this has -- alex? alex, are you there? >> yes, seth? >> seth: what the hell's going on? oh, wait. let me guess, you got a handwritten note with my signature on it? >> no, there is no note, seth. just the voice mail you left. >> seth: voicemail? [ laughter ] >> yes, this one. [ beep ] >> oh, hey, alex. uh -- yeah, this is your boss seth meyers. i was hanging out in my office this morning just staring at my own weiner --
[ laughter ] when all of a sudden i got a great idea in my big, weird head. i think halfway through the desk piece today, you should just zoom in on my big honkin' schnoze. [ laughter ] anyway, i gotta go sniff a fart. i love you. [ beep ] [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: derek, i was mad before, but honestly now, i'm just hurt. [ laughter ] what's going on, man? we used to be buds. remember that vacation in denver? i took you to the rockies game. like, what happened to that kid i knew? >> honestly? i guess i just haven't really been feeling like myself lately. i mean, like, i just started high school, and it's like super weird. all my friends went to another school and i don't know anybody. it's all different. and -- kinda scary, you know? and actually -- never mind. >> seth: no, no. derek, what is it? >> no, it's embarrassing. >> seth: derek, i'm your uncle. you can tell me anything.
what's wrong? >> my body -- [ laughter ] -- it's changing. >> seth: derek, you're 14. everybody's body changes. >> no, it's not what you think. it's my hands. [ laughter ] they're super weird. >> seth: derek, what's wrong with your hands? >> i -- just forget i said anything. [ laughter ] >> seth: derek -- >> no -- >> seth: -- let me see your hands. >> you're going to laugh at them. >> seth: no, i won't laugh. i'm your uncle. you can always talk to me about anything. >> yeah? >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: you're a bad kid. you're a bad kid. you're a bad kid. we're going to be right back with anna wintour and sarah jessica parker. why? don't -- [ cheers and applause ] ♪ how may i enrich your day? jennie: we have a noon pedicure!
amy: whoa whoa those pants?!... where did you get them... and can i try them on when your getting your toes done? jennie: i got them at old navy and... no. amy: this is a place of sharing and positivity and i'm hearing a lot of no right now so... jennie: they're actually on sale. the crops start at $19! amy: wow i'm getting a lot of spirit... from that price... jennie: are you ok?? amy: i'm going to let that price come up through my body... jennie: and the shorts are from 10. amy: take it! the spa is closed ladies!! look out!
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institute gala, celebrating the new exhibition, "charles james beyond fashion." please welcome anna wintour and sarah jessica parker. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: people are very excited that you guys are here. >> well, we're excited to be here. >> seth: myself included. >> we're very excited to be here. >> seth: congratulations on monday's event. it was beautiful, you raised $12 million. that's incredible. [ cheers and applause ] >> that's a record. >> seth: now, you were a co-chair of this event, you'd never been a co-chair before, correct? >> correct. >> seth: are there different -- what are the responsibilities with co-chairing the met? >> well, first of all, to be somewhat presentable. >> seth: right. >> not embarrass the institution or -- >> seth: yes. >> -- the actual chair of the event.
and you must stand in a receiving line and receive those who i've invited into my home, the metropolitan museum of art with, you know, grace and elegance as charles james would, and as ms. wintour has taught me. it seems a fairly simple task, right? >> seth: yes. it does seem fairly simple. >> not very burdensome. and so it should be. and i enjoyed it, but i was -- if you don't mind my saying, i was reprimanded fairly early on in the process. [ laughter ] >> she talks too much. >> seth: oh, yes. >> you know, she talks. >> i just stick out my hand and say, the exhibition is that way, i'm sure you're gonna love it. or this is my co-chair, sarah jessica parker and bradley cooper then they run from me. but sarah jessica parker, she's so polite. >> well, i think you have -- also by the way, we are announcing here tonight the kickoff of our college tour. >> seth: oh, good. >> yeah, we're doing a little comedy show. but anna has -- i'm going to talk about you as if you're not here. anna has developed over the many years of doing this -- how many years have you stood on
that receiving line now? >> sixteen. >> sixteen years and raised $125 million -- [ applause ] -- for the museum. >> so, she's very practiced and she understands brevity. so, she offers a hospitable hand and without using any words, is able to communicate that that is all that will happen between. and then i ask about the health of the wife, you know, were you able to get parking? >> each year is different. each year is different. i mean, the year that we had oprah winfrey as the co-chair for american women, it was -- people would courtesy in front of her. it was the same with bradley, actually. when we had george clooney as the co-chair for superheroes, i mean, the women would just not leave his side. they were obviously handing out the e-mail addresses, the phone numbers. but he had the best line of all, he said, "hello, i'm george clooney and i'm running for congress. do i have your vote?" [ laughter ] >> seth: now there is -- i love hand shaking, but i'm assuming there's a fair amount of kissing
in the line as well. like, as ladies i would panic walking up to the line, as far as like what to do. >> um, was -- i did not kiss a lot of people. >> the worst is those people that you've never met in your life before, that want to hug you in an major embrace. so, you have to step back and say, "how do you do?" >> seth: you extend the hand and move the body back. >> and actually, i was wearing gloves, and i noticed the next morning in the sober light of day, that my right hand, what was a pristine, creamy, was pretty filthy, not from me, but rather from -- so imagine what poor anna's right hand -- >> seth: i don't want to. [ laughter ] >> i'm sorry. >> seth: you also -- obviously, these are very extreme dresses and you're wearing shoes. you at one point -- >> well at one point sarah jessica got so exhausted and there was a break. she just collapsed on the floor. i mean, it was the chicest
collapse i'd ever seen. >> seth: it is. i have a photo of the most graceful collapse. look at you. that dress, like, that fact that it keeps its shape. i saw girls doing this on st. patrick's day that i don't think -- i don't think were resting. [ laughter ] >> that's new york city tap water. but i want everyone to know there was a lull in the line, i didn't do that while anyone was the line. >> seth: right. >> that would have been really deserving of actually being removed from the line, rather than a mere slugworth reprimand. >> seth: and it was the inaugural year of the anna wintour costume center. [ cheers and applause ] and michelle obama was there. >> yeah, it was an incredible morning for me, the first lady came to open the costume center and talk about our work. and what was really humbling to me was she focused on something that was so important to me, which is that one needs to use one's position to help others, and that was really what meant the most to me. and having sarah jessica. >> it was, um -- i was in the audience, and as were so many of us who have long admired anna and the work, and i --
what i loved about it was "a", that anna really couldn't forbid it from happening. you know, she couldn't stop somebody from singing her praises and the virtues and -- >> seth: i believe she could stop most people, she just can't stop the first lady >> but not the first lady. >> seth: it's the first lady, then anna. >> seth: every year the met has a theme. you seemed to embrace the theme, last year was punk. >> mm hmm. >> seth: and you truly embraced punk. this is sarah at last year, punk. and you went full mohawk which is really impressive. that's like the real deal. [ cheers and applause ] anna not to call you out after all your praise, but i feel you did not embrace punk in the same way. [ laughter ] >> seth -- seth, my punk days are behind me. >> seth: yes. that was -- >> it was here. it was here. it's all there. >> seth: now this year was white tie. >> right. >> seth: which was -- which -- that for a guy a lot harder. is that why you chose it? >> well, we chose it, because we
felt it would reflect the theme of the exhibition. charles james was a designer who worked primarily in the '50s, when men did still wear white tie, seth. >> seth: yes. >> and we also -- i think the women, traditionally, have to spend so much time thinking about what they're going to wear, we thought it was time to turn the tables. i had no idea how much panic this would make the men of new york and all over the world think about their outfits. but the most amusing e-mail i had was from tom ford who dressed many of the most handsome men there on monday night. he said that he not only had hundreds of men coming in, asking him to explain what white tie meant. they were very, very confused by decorations. >> seth: right. >> in fact, there were a couple of people who wondered did that mean christmas tree decorations and -- >> ornaments. >> -- ornaments, and could tom ford please pick them out. >> seth: i can't imagine anything more terrifying than being at the met, wearing your christmas ornaments, and looking around and realizing, "i think i got this wrong.
i think i'm going to go hide in this mummy's casket." now, real quick, i want to show, you can explain how -- i'm going to show people how they chose white tie. this is some of the guys. given this level of difficulty, from you anna, how they did. so here we go. we're gonna look at this monitor here. who's up first? all right, so that's tom brady, it just seems like he just didn't do it at all. [ laughter ] >> he has giselle, so that helps. >> seth: yeah. >> but he is -- he is wearing classic black tie. he obviously did not look at the invitation. >> seth: right. but because it's not white tie, he looked very ugly and unattractive that night. >> finally. >> seth: finally. who's up next? all right, so that's jake gyllenhaal, what does he seem to be doing here? >> sarah jessica? brooklyn -- >> uh, brooklyn white tie. [ laughter ] brooklyn white tie. >> seth: all right, let's see the next one. okay, so that's hugh jackman. he still doesn't seem to quite have nailed it. >> my understanding is, this is called white tropical dinner jacket. >> seth: got you. >> seth: let's see the next one. here's me. this is myself and my wife. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: so i'm --
wearing a white tie. >> seth, apparently you are allowed to wear dark blue, that is possible with white tie, but you didn't have the tails. >> seth: i didn't wear tails, but i can explain. when you work on "snl", if you ever wear tails, it looks like you were just in a sketch. [ laughter ] >> seth: you can't pull it off. it's just two -- not serious enough. now we're getting a little closer to right here. what's next. [ cheers ] so, that's kanye, almost perfect. >> almost perfect, but he doesn't have the winged collar or the white tie. >> seth: yeah, right. >> otherwise -- >> seth: so i like that he got absolutely as close as he could and then didn't wear the white tie. [ laughter ] that is a very kanye take on this. >> bradley was 99% >> seth: i think we have bradley next. bradley? do we have a picture of him? >> 99 and a half. >> 99 and a half. >> seth: now, what did bradley do wrong? >> well, if you read your emily post, which i know you do, seth. >> seth: i do. >> his studs are onyx and they should have been mother of pearl.
>> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> you knew that. >> seth: that's pretty -- >> you just want tone on tone. >> seth: when i saw him wearing onyx instead of mother of pearl, i went up to him and i shook his hand. i leaned in and i said, "what are you doing?" [ laughter ] >> seth: you are ruining everything! and now we finally have somebody who totally nailed it. >> yes, yes. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: benedict cumberbatch. i will say, if there was ever anyone you were going to bet on to nail white tie, it would have been benedict cumberbatch. >> i know. i told him ah, yes. you brought a little class to this -- >> seth: that's right. >> -- what do they call it in football when you're all out, with your trunks open and you're -- >> seth: um, i don't know if they do that in football. [ laughter ] >> no, no, when they go to the game. he brought class to -- you know, that thing where -- >> tailgate! >> tailgate, yeah. >> seth: your trunk's out? [ laughter ] >> you know, your trunk in open -- >> seth: gentlemen, i filled a trunk with beer and sausages. tonight we tailgate. >> in other words, he elevated it. >> seth: he elevated the evening. and the evening was wonderful.
congratulations again. you're a wonderful co-chair. and you, of course -- >> thank you, seth. >> seth:-- are the perfect chair. anna wintour and sarah jessica parker, everyone. "charles james beyond fashion" opens at the metropolitan museum tomorrow. we'll be right back with rich eisen. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ pepsi wild cherry. explosively cherry. ♪ killing weeds where they grow ♪ ♪ a barrier forms so weeds can't appear ♪ ♪ serious weed prevention up to a year ♪ ♪ new roundup max control 365 ♪ with no more weeds, it's your year ♪
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as well as "the rich eisen podcast." beginning tomorrow night, you can see him anchoring nfl network's coverage of the 2014 nfl draft, please welcome, rich eisen. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: anna wintour, sarah jessica parker, rich eisen. >> and me. >> seth: yeah. that's what you call synergy. >> yeah. we're going to go take out our trunks and go tailgating. [ laughter ] >> seth: so, uh -- >> that was fantastic. i don't know where that was going, but -- >> seth: it was great. congratulations. this must be one of the more exciting times of the year, the nfl draft. >> it is. it is also, from what i heard earlier tonight, the part where guys just hold up shirts and put large hats on their unusually large heads. i think it's usually where dreams come true, but other than, you know. >> seth: i just think it's the shirt. >> -- you know, it is an odd event, in a way. that just everybody gets together in radio city music
hall, right across the street is art deco jewel. right? >> seth: yeah. >> and it's basically names being read out at a podium once every ten minutes. >> seth: yeah. >> and fans can't get enough of it. which is great. >> seth: people are lined up outside. >> they are right now. >> seth: yeah. they just can't wait to get to the nfl draft. >> they can not -- or inside anywhere at this point and time. >> seth: right. yeah, that's true. now are you -- how many drafts have you done? >> this is my tenth. >> seth: your tenth draft? and did you watch the draft as a kid? i was obsessed with the draft. >> oh, of course. absolutely, yeah. yeah, because this is when everybody is 0-0. no wins, no losses. and hope can spring eternal. as you saw tom brady, in your previous segment, pick 199 as you know. >> seth: yep. >> and he became one of the greatest players in the history of the game. so you just never know. >> seth: so, you a tradition ten years ago, at the nfl combine. this is where all the players go, and they test their height and their vertical leap and their speed. >> yes. >> seth: you started doing the 40 yard dash. >> in my suit and tie. >> seth: how do that start? how does this tradition start? >> well, just like most things in television, out of pure boredom.
we were sitting, myself and terrell davis, former super bowl mvp of the denver broncos, waiting to shoot a segment. and in the old rca dome, i asked him if what thought i could -- how fast i could run the 40 if i went out and did it right now in my suit and tie and lace up zanya crocs. and he laughed like you just did. >> seth: right. >> and i took that as an affront and i went down and i ran it in a very, very slow 6.77 seconds. >> seth: now, what does an nfl player run it in. >> if an nfl player does not run it in anywhere between 4.5 or 4.7, unless they're 390-pounds, it's a very bad time. >> seth: gotcha. got it. >> but, you know, that's why i talk about it for a living. i don't actually run it -- >> seth: right. >> -- or shouldn't. but i didn't know -- unbeknownst to me, the network crew that was on break actually recorded it, and then showed it on tv to surprise me, and then folks like joe gibbs and mike holmgren and tony dungy were talking about it, and they
wanted me to run every year. and, you know, you have to give the people what they want, seth. [ laughter ] >> seth: yes. now, obviously, as we both know how time works, every year you're a little older, are you getting slower? >> i'm a fine wine, i am getting faster. >> seth: you're getting faster? >> i am. i just, this year, cracked six seconds for the first time. i did. >> seth: you cracked six seconds. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. >> seth: i'm very happy to say, we have tape of what a man like you breaking 6 seconds -- >> let's take a look at it. >> seth: and i'm so happy, because you're genuinely very pleased about the fact. >> oh, i am. my gosh, am i ever. >> seth it's really -- congratulations. >> thank you. really. >> seth: it's really -- you rarely see -- like, you never see yourself running in a wide shot like that.
that's the worst part. >> it's not good. and normally at the combine you don't see someone run out of their pocket square. >> seth: yeah, that's true. >> that's how fast i was. >> seth: you have pocket square speed? >> yes, i have pocket square speed. yeah. >> seth: now, you've been doing so much research. i'm so happy you're doing this for us tonight. you actually have some little known tid bits about some of the players. some of the negatives that you might not know from the combine. >> nuggets, as we call them. >> seth: you call them nuggets. >> yeah. >> seth: we call them tid bits here. you guys call them nuggets. well, that will be great. who are you going to start with? >> first up is mike evans, a wide-receiver out of texas a&m. well all know he's a big red zone target for his quarterback. and he's strong after the catch. but what people don't know, and this could hurt him come tomorrow, but he eats pizza with a fork and knife, seth. [ laughter ] >> seth: that is shocking. >> it is shocking. coaches are definitely going to have to take a harder look at him with that in mind. knowing just how demoralizing it can be to see somebody eat pizza like that. >> seth: sure, sure, sure. so, who's up next?
>> johnny football, johnny manziel. quarterback out of texas a&m. a lot of buzz around johnny football. he grips the ball well on the move. he has a great improvisational skill in the pocket. but what many people don't know, he calls audibles in a borat voice. [ laughter ] >> seth: so, whereas like peyton manning yells "omaha," johnny manziel would say -- >> mah wife. [ laughter ] >> seth: right, right. that's really troubling. >> it is. >> seth: that's really troubling. >> he's got to get over that. >> seth: yeah, he's got to get over that. who's next. >> jadeveon clowney. >> seth: okay. >> could be the number one overall pick. defensive end out of south carolina. the guy's great. plays with leverage and power in his hands. he collapses the corner around the edge with ease. but what a lot of nfl owners are a little bit worried about going into the draft is he hates the movie "finding nemo." [ laughter ] >> seth: what? what could he hate about "finding nemo"? >> i know. seth, they found nemo. >> seth: he didn't like that part? >> no, no. >> seth: who's next? >> we have greg robinson,
>> we have greg robinson, >> seth: okay. >> he's an offensive tackle from auburn. first team all-sec. he's got excellent reach, block ability, athletic and vertical sets. but unfortunately he suffers from chomp-ophobia or, what is known as a fear of alligators. >> seth: oh. so if at any point in his nfl career an alligator gets loose on the field. >> you can not count on greg to protect the quarterback. he'll be running the other way, screaming. screaming. >> seth: who's up? last one. >> yeah, last one. jake matthews, probably the best offensive tackle in the draft. he's also out of texas a&m. the guys' quick, active hands. he's quick to adjust to the blitz, but -- and this could knock him down to the second round or maybe out of the draft entirely altogether, seth. he wears socks with sandals. [ laughter ] >> seth: that could potentially really -- that could hurt the team. [ applause ] >> seth: that could hurt the team. >> well, what it's really -- it's just called locker room poison. >> seth: locker room poison. socks -- rich eisen, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] thank you so much for being here. >> this is good. >> seth: nfl network's live coverage of the draft begins tomorrow and lasts for a month, right? it's a full month. >> that's right. a full month. >> seth: we'll be right back with the 1975.
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>> seth: my next guests are a u.k. rock band who billboard named one of the year's biggest breakouts. here to perform "girls," please welcome, the 1975. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. ♪ ♪ ♪ i like your face despite your nose 17-and-a-half-years-old worry about ♪ ♪ my brothers finding out where's the fun in doing what your told ♪ ♪ i said, "no!" oh, give it a rest i could persuade you i'm not your typical ♪ ♪ stoned 18-year-old
give me a night i'll make you ♪ ♪ i know you're looking for salvation in the secular age but girl i'm not your savior ♪ ♪ wrestle me to the ground god help me now because they're just girls breaking hearts ♪ ♪ eyes bright uptight just girls ♪ ♪ she can't be what you need if she's seventeen they're just girls they're just girls ♪ ♪ a pair of frozen hands to hold oh, she's so southern so she feels the cold ♪ ♪ one moment i was tearing off your blouse now you're living in my house what happened to ♪ ♪ just messing around i said "yo!" i think i better go i can't take you ♪ ♪ you sit and get stoned when you're 30-years-old and you think you've made it ♪ ♪ well should you be with somebody your age instead of making changes ♪ ♪ wrestle to the ground god help me now because they're just girls breaking hearts ♪ ♪ eyes bright
uptight just girls ♪ ♪ she can't be what you need if she's seventeen they're just girls they're just girls ♪ ♪ i told her from the start destined to be hard told her from the start i'll break your heart ♪ ♪ destined to be hard i'll break your heart i said, "yo!" i think i better go ♪ ♪ i can't take you i know you're looking for salvation in the secular age ♪ ♪ but girl i'm not your savior well shouldn't you be with somebody your age ♪ ♪ instead of making changes wrestle me to the ground god help me now because ♪ ♪ they're just girls breaking hearts eyes bright, uptight just girls ♪ ♪ she can't be what you need if she's seventeen
and of course, the 8g band. stay tuned for "carson daly." we'll see you tomorrow. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> carson: hey, folks. you're watching "last call" with me, carson daly. thank you very much. we're at dimples in burbank. we got one heck of show for you tonight. coming up -- kaiser chiefs perform from the el rey. and we use the "last call" snapshot to introduce you to the legendary songwriter, chuck e. weiss. but first, marc maron is the comedian best known for his hosting one of the most praised about podcasts in the podcast universe, "wtf." this week, he also kicks off the second season of his ifc series entitled quite simply, "maron." for more, this marc maron in t