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tv   Late Night With Seth Meyers  NBC  May 14, 2014 12:36am-1:38am PDT

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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight, will forte, cooking with michael symon, the premiere of second chance theater,
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featuring the 8g band with fred armisen. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ and now, here he is, seth meyers. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: good evening. [ cheers and applause ] i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everyone doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] are we well? everybody well? lets start off tonight with some really cool news. this is very cool. seattle native sargeant kyle white was awarded the medal of honor by president obama today for running into enemy fire to save his wounded comrades. meanwhile, i sent back a salad because the croutons were too big. [ laughter ]
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and i didn't get anything. [ laughter ] well, donald sterling is still at it. i don't know if you've been following the donald sterling saga, but during last night's interview with anderson cooper, donald sterling said, "magic johnson, what has he done? he's got aids." [ laughter ] [ audience oohs ] he then added, "now, what are these cameras for? [ laughter ] oh, this is a filmed interview. no, i did it again." [ laughter ] "donald!" some international news. yesterday, iran claimed to have created a replica of an american drone they captured three years ago. apparently, it's such a realistic copy that when they turned it on, it immediately bombed iran. [ laughter ] so joke's on them. this is crazy. ohio police are investigating who broke into president james garfield's tomb to steal a
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set of commemorative spoons. i don't know what's worse, stealing from a tomb, or requesting in your will to be buried amongst my finest spoons. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] "bury me with my forks, unless i'm assassinated." [ laughter ] then with my spoons. [ light laughter ] i hope heaven has soup. [ laughter ] and i would be so upset if it did." [ light laughter ] and i was without my spoons." [ light laughter ] and i did a lot of research to make sure that's exactly how he sounded. [ laughter ] this is kinda cool. new research suggested people who are more ambitious will live longer, while people who are less ambitious will live longer with their parents. [ laughter ]
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this is crazy. the staff at laguardia airport reportedly walked out after the air conditioning broke down on monday morning. staff members said it was unbearable and disgusting. and then the air conditioner broke down. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] this is amazing. a former executive of t.d. bank has been accused of accumulating $220,000 in strip club charges on a company credit card. interestingly, t.d. bank is also the name of the strip club. [ laughter ] spelled differently. [ laughter ] yeah. yeah, i also like that one. [ laughter ] there's a new study out, everybody. we love new studies here at "late night." a new study claims that one in ten americans no longer carry
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cash. they're called english majors. [ laughter ] eh. [ light laughter ] not sure what to make of this. a virginia teenager was kicked out of her prom after male chaperones said her dress aroused impure thoughts. the creepiest part of this story is that nobody kicked out the chaperones. [ laughter ] [ applause ] "i would like to lodge a formal complaint. my impure thoughts have been aroused." [ laughter ] he could probably chaperone a tennessee williams play. [ light laughter ] this is cool. ikea has announced plans to turn its first ever store into a museum. and all they need to do it is four pegs and an allen wrench. [ laughter ] but here's the bummer, one of the pegs is missing. [ laughter ]
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they're trying to stay cool, but they're eventually gonna lose their temper. [ laughter ] looking for that fourth peg. this is interesting. a psychologist from rutgers published new research, claiming that sexual pleasure can block out pain entirely. now i just have to convince my dentist. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] gas, no thank you. i have a better idea. [ laughter ] this is incredible. new research suggests that dogs' noses are four times better at detecting prostate cancer than normal tests. the hard part is getting them to stop. [ laughter ] how many times are you going to check, i'm fine. [ laughter ]
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stop it. and finally, the president of social media site buzzfeed announced today that he's stepping down. when asked why he was leaving buzzfeed, he listed 37 reasons that will blow your mind. [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, this is the 8g band. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: how are you 8g band? [ cheers and applause ] you guys sound like a million dollars. a million u.s. dollars tonight. it's so great to see you all, and it's so great to see you, fred. >> fred: great to see you seth. >> seth: it's lovely to have you here. i love having you here, because i feel like when you're here, even though i've known you a long time, i feel like i learn a new thing about you everyday. >> fred: oh, great. [ laughter ] >> seth: and, i do think -- i worry sometimes that people at home, because there's so many new things, it seems like you're doing, that they think you might just be making them up off the top of your head. [ laughter ]
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which i know not to be true. but i just worry at times. and on that note, did you just buy a farm? >> fred: i did. [ laughter ] >> seth: you did? >> fred: mm-hmm. of course i did. >> seth: that's great. >> fred: it's um, it's a lava farm. [ laughter ] so we make lava. [ laughter ] you know we make lava to -- >> seth: yeah. >> fred: to, you know, distribute and -- [ laughter ] you know, it's a lot of work. >> seth: i bet. >> fred: it's a lot of work. >> seth: it can seem like -- now is the farm anywhere near a volcano, or are you making the lava without a volcano? >> fred: we're making it without an actual volcano. we're just making our own lava. i mean, it's near a volcano. so, we get some of the lava from there, bring it over, and we just -- it's like seeds. and you just -- [ laughter ] >> seth: i see. so you plant the lava. >> fred: yes. >> seth: and then, and then more lava grows? >> fred: yes. it just sort of bubbles up. [ laughter ] >> seth: gotcha.
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now, here would be my biggest question for you. who wants lava? [ light laughter ] >> fred: we're finding that out. you know, this is an ongoing -- [ laughter ] you know, i just saw on tv that there was so much of it. i was like, "wow, what is -- you know, what's that world of lava?" [ light laughter ] so, we're finding out little by little. >> seth: that people don't need it. so it's a lava farm. does it have a name? because i think like, sometimes people have such cute names for their farms, you know? it seems like such a cute thing. did you name yours? >> fred: i did. now, here's the deal. okay, don't be upset about this. it's seth meyers lava farm. [ laughter ] it's this huge legal thing. so that we just had to it that way, and i hope you don't mind. >> seth: i mind, like, a lot. [ laughter ] i mind a lot. but at the same time, i'm kind of excited. so, does that mean that i like benefit if it's a hit? >> fred: well, if there are some benefits, yes, you will definitely benefit from it. >> seth: okay, great. well, then i'm very excited about that. and where is seth meyers lava farm? >> fred: it's in iceland. [ laughter ]
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>> seth: give it up for fred armisen. and congratulations. >> fred: thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: we have a great show. dare i say it? an historic show for you tonight. my good friend, will forte is here. [ cheers and applause ] one of the funniest people fred and i ever worked with at "snl." and tonight, we are doing, for the first time, "second chance theater." this is something we've always wanted to do with the show. we're so excited to be doing it with will. and what this is, is we are going to take skethces that were written at "snl" either that went to dress and never aired or ones like the one you'll see tonight, that did not even go to dress. and we're gonna give it a second and probably last chance here tonight. [ laughter ] will, very passionate. a lot of people don't know that will is also one of the most exceptional writers ever in the history of "snl." he wrote such great things and he's very passionate about the things he wrote. so when he's on, we're also -- we're gonna talk about "jenjamin franklin" and then
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we're gonna see "jenjamin franklin" for the first time which is really, really -- [ cheers and applause ] and then, after second chance theater, from "america's best cook", chef michael symon -- [ cheers and applause ] -- will show us how to make meatballs. so tonight will be the definition of dinner theater at "late night." and we'll be right back with more after this. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ hi, jan! hi, jan! welcome to the toyota time sales event. we're looking for something safe with a really smooth ride. he's a very light sleeper. oh, the camry's safe and has a smooth, comfortable ride. oh, the camry's perfect. and you're in luck. it's toyota time. so it's a great time for a great deal. [ both ] yes! [ baby crying ] [ male announcer ] during toyota time, get 0% apr financing for 60 months on a 2014.5 camry. offer ends june 2nd. for more great deals, visit toyota.com.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to "late night" everybody. you know, at this show we are huge fans of product slogans. for example, l'oreal's slogan is "because you're worth it." you are. great slogan. g.e., "imagination at work." it is. it's working. burger king, "have it your way." i will, thank you burger king. well, we were thinking. why should only products have slogans? everything could benefit from one, so we came up with some for you in a segment we call "new slogans." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: let's get this started right off with a new slogan for papayas. "papayas, the fruit you thought was a mango."
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[ laughter ] don't pretend like you know which one is which. you don't know which one is which. next we have e-mail. e-mail has never had a slogan until now. "e-mail, hey, did you get my e-mail?" [ laughter ] very helpful slogan for email. [ applause ] next, we've got chili. chili, a delicious dish. i can't wait to see chili's slogan. "chili, ruining other people's elevator rides since 1870." [ laughter and applause ] honest. it's a very honest slogan. moving on, we have compact fluorescent light bulbs. "compact fluorescent light bulbs, you're gonna hate the way you look. i guarantee it." [ applause ] you really are. you're gonna hate the way you look. next up, we have off-brand cereal. that is the cereal in the clear plastic bags on the bottom shelf of the supermarket. let's see their slogan. "off-brand cereal, if you find a prize inside, it's a mistake." [ laughter and applause ]
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and also, just a note. a dead mouse is never a prize. next, we have roommates. "roommates, eating your food so you don't have to." oh, and fyi, dave, i know you spread around my hummus to make it look like you didn't eat it, but i'm on to you. get your own hummus, dave. next we have bananas. "bananas, not yet, not yet, too late." [ laughter and applause ] very small window to enjoy a banana. next, we have salads. we're all eating these. let's see their slogan. "salads, full? not for long." [ laughter ] also "good? not really." next, we have plays. i can see how plays can benefit from a slogan. "plays, because you couldn't think of an excuse not to go." i couldn't, and then i was at a play.
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next we have brunch. people seem to be going to brunch quite fine without a slogan, at least according to instagram. but let's see brunch's slogan. "brunch, breakfast for alcoholics." [ cheers and applause ] it looks like we've got tomato juice and a drinking problem. next up, we have blue socks. not really sure what the slogan for these could be. let's see. "blue socks, those are black." [ laughter ] you got me again, blue socks. you son of a bitch. [ laughter ] and finally we have condoms. "condoms, for when the only thing you want to feel is safe." [ applause ] this has been "new slogans." [ cheers and applause ] and it's been brought to you by red lobster, whose slogan is "red lobster, honestly it's mostly shrimp." [ laughter ] we'll be right back with will forte. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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>> seth: welcome back to "late night," everyone. you know our first guest tonight from his eight seasons on "saturday night live." he also won critical acclaim for his role in last year's academy award nominated film "nebraska." please welcome, my good friend, orville willis forte iv. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: what a delight to have you here, my friend. >> it is a delight to be here. it really is a delight. >> seth: a very exciting night. we just heard from the neilsen people that currently, because of second chance theater, our ratings right now are higher than the last episode of "mah." [ laughter ] >> seth: that's how many people are tuned in for this. now, you'll be fine. >> that's awesome! >> seth: it's awesome. it's a really big night for both of us. you -- i can't help noticing you have a beard. >> yes. >> seth: why do you have a beard? for a part? >> i am doing a show on fox
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called "the last man on earth." and if you're the last man earth, you're not going to shave. >> seth: yeah. >> ever. >> seth: so you play the last man on earth? >> i play the last man on earth. yeah. and this is nowhere near where i'm hoping to get to. maybe my beard length -- i don't know if beard hair just stops at a certain point. >> seth: right. is this the longest you've ever gotten? >> yes. >> seth: okay. well, i can see that. [ laughter ] >> seth: i can see why you would go maybe it's time to trim it. it's a little -- it's a little squirrely on the edges. no, no, no! [ laughter ] >> i'm not doing jenjamin franklin anymore! >> seth: come on! please. >> what do you think of my beard? >> seth: i think it's wonderful. >> okay. >> and it reminds me -- it has little falconer to it. >> yes. >> seth: it does have a little falconer. you had so many characters on "snl," falconer, espn classic guys with sudekis, hamilton, yet there's one -- >> which i got to do at his wedding. >> seth: you did do hamilton at my wedding. one day, we'll show that incredible speech. now -- tell us about this character
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that never got on, and why it's still so important to you. >> the name of the sketch and the name of the character in the sketch is "jenjamin franklin." >> seth: yeah. >> and this was one that was very special to me. it was very close to my heart. i enjoyed it. you know, it is a -- i was going to say a stupid sketch, but it's a really well thought out -- >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> intentionally smart stupid. like brilliant stupid. >> seth: yeah. >> just like, if einstein was a comedy writer,i would like to think that this would make him look like a dip [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] >> this is one of those -- >> seth: right, right. now you and i -- 'cause you wrote, you submitted it to the table four times. never went to dress. >> right. >> seth: and we, you know, had a slight difference of opinion the last time. i was a fan of it. but then the last time, your writing partner, john solomon, who you wrote it with -- >> yes. >> came to my office on a wednesday morning. we'd been up all night writing. and he said "what do you think
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about that resubmitting jenjamin franklin?" and i said -- again, i wasn't talking to you, i was talking to john. i said, "i have to be honest, i feel like it flatlined the last time it was at the table." maybe a bad choice of words. not knowing -- why don't you tell everybody what happened next? >> if that sketch flatlined, then you had a couple [ bleep ] in your ear that day. [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: john -- i told john it flatlined. he pretty much went and told you and then you came right into my office and said something along those -- >> it was like a general how dare you! >> seth: yeah. >> what are you -- this is -- >> seth: and we didn't really butt heads much. like we were on the same page on comedy. this jenjamin franklin is -- >> yeah. >> seth: very rare for us. >> i have the utmost respect for you. you have helped me out in so many situations. we just don't see eye-to-eye on jenjamin franklin. >> seth: now, one thing i see eye-to-eye about
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jenjamin franklin, and something i remember all the time, it's sort of burned in my brain. you did something very few people do when they write a sketch at "snl." because usually when people describe a character, they describe it in words. you thought jenjamin franklin was very important, that you draw what jenjamin franklin looks like. >> i mean, you want to know what jenjamin -- >> seth and you are, can i say this? you're an excellent artist. >> it takes at -- yes. >> seth: so here's -- the drawing of jenjamin. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: if you -- if there was a serial killer loose, and you found this drawing at someone's house, you would be like "we have our guy." now, i have noticed jenjamin franklin -- this is very important, 'cause again, today, it's your second chance. but really, it's last chance theater. jenjamin franklin doesn't have a beard. are you worried about the beard getting in the way at all? >> it's a very sensual character. so the beard, i think, will be good for it's sensuality.
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>> seth: oh, it's a sensual character. >> did you think i said "central?" >> seth: i thought you said "essential." [ laughter ] >> it is essential, central and sensual. [ applause ] >> seth: yeah. again, because tonight is about giving it the fairest of shakes, is there anything you feel like youneed to tell the audience before we mount jenjamin franklin. >> a couple references. uh, you've all heard of john wayne gacy, who is a serial killer. just in case you haven't, you might hear -- this has nothing to do with a serial killer. just a reference you may hear. >> seth: yeah, yeah. >> eric stoltz. that's a name probably you should be familiar with. one ofhe names, you know what? no. and -- >> seth: okay. you feel like -- >> i'm trying to say i want this thing, you know, i want this thing to fly like an eagle. i want it to --
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soar. >> seth: this seem like an audience that believes in jenjamin. [ cheers and applause ] i will though -- 'cause i feel like in my, and again, i also desperately want this to work. i do want to point out, though, there was one of people you wrote it for, of the many hosts, was nbc's nightly news anchor brian williams. >> yeah. >> seth: and i want people to think at some point, like, oh, i could see why maybe that wasn't the right sketch for the guy who reads the news every night. >> he was quite good. he made a mistake by not doing this sketch. [ laughter ] >> seth: do you think it's cost his career? >> you don't know where he would be, the heights that he would be if he had done this sketch. you'll see. >> seth: yeah, well, i can't believe this is finally happening. you're one of my oldest friends. and here and we are, i feel like we're on the precipice of -- >> a real "put your money where your mouth is" situation and i'm
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terrified right now. >> seth: i am not. i am so excited. i am so thrilled. >> thank you for letting us do this. it is really -- this is something i've thought about for a long time, believe it or not. >> seth: i also -- we talk, when i got this show, i talked, i said one of the first things i said was i would want you to do jenjamin franklin on the show. and you said immeditely "we'll do it in the premiere." and i was like "slow down." [ laughter ] >> it was wrong for me. yes, yes. >> seth: the other good news for everyone here is we have some special guests who will sort of come out and help us out. [ applause ] so when we come back, everyone, will forte will be presenting you the premiere of "second chance theater" right after this. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ honestly, the off-season isn't really off for me. i've got a lot to do. that's why i got my surface. it's great for watching game film
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and drawing up plays. it's got onenote, so i can stay on top of my to-do list, which has been absolutely absurd since the big game. with skype, it's just really easy to stay in touch with the kids i work with. alright, russell you are good to go! alright, fellas. alright, russ. back to work! [ girl ] my mom, she makes underwater fans that are powered by the moon. ♪ she can print amazing things, right from her computer. [ whirring ] [ train whistle blows ] she makes trains that are friends with trees. ♪ my mom works at ge. ♪ my mom works at ge. it is tobringing in the you're tincome, you know? that money, you're trying to stretch it as much as you can and as a parent you don't want to have to put
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: hello, and welcome to "second chance theater." where sketches that's were once cut from "saturday night live" are given, well, a second chance. tonight, a tale as old as time. two young dreamers find themselves on a blind date, and just like a key at the end of a tight string, this couple
quote
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discovers electricity. we now present the sketch "jenjamin franklin", starring will forte and featuring the second chance players, fred armisen, vanessa bayer and jason sudeikis. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> you know, guys, i really appreciate you setting me up on this blind date. you know, ever since georgia left me, i've been bone dry in the sex department. [ laughter ] >> well, we met jen at a colonial bookstore, and we just immediately hit it off. >> yeah, since we're kind of taking a break from threeways until the kids are out of school, introducing her to you was the obvious way to go. >> yeah. >> hey, will you tell me more about her? >> very studious, hearty laugh. >> inventive, pretty heavy drinker. >> and just your type in the
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rack department. >> flat as a board? >> flat as a board. >> uh oh, houston, we have liftoff! [ laughter ] >> here she comes. over here, jen! [ cheers and applause ] hello there, tina. hello there, jeff. and you must be grady! [ laughter ] >> guilty as charged. >> and should i sit? >> no. actually before you do, will you do a real quick 360 so i can check out that butt? [ laughter ] >> really, a 360? how about a 720? >> yeah. [ laughter ] yeah.
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oh. yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. i like all that. what's going on over there? >> okay, well, i know what i'm going to have tonight, and it's not on the menu. >> grady! [ laughter ] >> let me get your chair. let me get that for you, jennifer. >> oh, it's jenjamin. jenjamin franklin. >> jenjamin. and i assume from your accent that you are from boston proper, yes? >> well, then you assumed wro -- right! [ laughter ] you thought i was going to say wrong. >> i did, i did for a second. i really did. >> i said right. >> you did. you really did. >> and what's your last name? >> gacy. yeah. grady wayne gacy. >> jenjamin franklin wayne gacy. that's got a ring to it, don't you think? [ laughter ] >> a real ring. a wedding ring. [ laughter ]
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>> do you guys want to order some appetizers maybe? >> i don't think appetizers will are gonna satisfy my hunger, jeff. >> well, then, why don't i cook you up a hot fanny sandwich? [ laughter ] >> what about the spring rolls? [ laughter ] >> jen. jen, i'm curious. do people ever tell you that you remind them of someone? >> yeah. i get dick cheney a lot. [ laughter ] eric stoltz, the quaker oats guy. >> yeah. i can see that. you know, i was going to say the fellow who played boss hogg on "the dukes of hazzard." >> oh, sorrell booke! >> sorrell booke, yeah. >> yeah, i get that a lot. thank you! >> no, no, no, no, thank you. hey, how about you hop up and do a little dance for me? i want to see how you move that machine of yours. >> i can't dance when there's no music, silly.
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>> one music, coming right up. ♪ dance music dancing around dance music music to dance to ♪ ♪ dance music feel the rhythm getting excited down in my slacks ♪ [ laughter ] >> oh! >> wow! >> hey, what do you say we ditch the chair and you come park it on my lap. >> oh, grady! okay, but i have to warn you, i'm a very bad parallel parker. >> don't worry, baby. i'll guide you in. [ laughter ] >> let me put it in reverse. boop, boop! i'm making the reverse sounds of a truck.
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boop, boop, boop, boop! oh, i am parked. >> oh, oh, oh, jen! >> jenjamin! >> jenjamin! [ laughter ] jenjamin. do you believe in love at first sight? seriously, do you? >> i do now. [ laughter ] >> well, i guess we're two of a kind, huh? and these deuces are wild! >> what? [ laughter ] >> screw it, jenje, will you marry me? >> really? i can't marry you yet. i don't even know what our kissing chemistry is like.
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[ laughter ] >> well, how about i slip on my lab coat. >> oh, you know what? [ cheers and applause ] >> let's get out of here. >> we're outta here. we're gonna go home, pack up and move to another state. >> don't bother sending us wedding invitations. we're busy that weekend. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> i'm sorry your friends left. >> oh, you know what? i don't care. because this night, it's all about the jenjamin. may i have this dance? >> you may. ♪ slow dance with the
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boss hog look-alike slow dance with the woman i'm going to marry tonight ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: let me bring out the cast of jenjamin franklin! come on out, guys! here they are! [ cheers and applause ] it finally got done! incredible! incredible! we'll be right back with more "late night!" [ cheers and applause ]
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[ woman ] and i love new orleans! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: our next guest is an award winning chef and a mentor on the food network show, "america's best cook", which has its season finale this sunday. ladies and gentlemen, michael symon. [ cheers and applause ] >> good to be here. >> seth: thank you so much for coming! >> good to be here. >> seth: what are we making today? >> we're going to make lazy meatballs with a greek tzatziki sauce. super easy. you can get them done in five minutes. >> seth: that's great. and that's what the lazy is, that it only takes five minutes? >> yeah. instead of taking the ground beef, mixing with the eggs, doing all that stuff, we're just gonna start with some spicy italian sausage. >> seth: all right. >> roll it into balls. and then we put on it kebobs and grill it. >> seth: all right. this i think i can do. >> can you do this? >> seth: yeah. >> so if you can just -- we're gonna roll these into about balls this size. >> seth: great. >> so, if you would -- roll my lazy, spicy balls, that would be great. [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah. in the words of jenjamin franklin. yeah. >> all right.
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>> seth: she's inspired a generation, a jenji-ration. >> yes. of young, aspiring chefs everywhere. >> seth: so, you're from cleveland. >> i am. born and raised in cleveland, ohio. >> seth: all right, love it. and a cleveland browns fan? >> huge cleveland brown fan. >> seth: so big draft. exciting times. >> oh, it was a big draft. we had a great draft year. we actually had -- i know you're a steelers fan. >> seth: yes. >> we had jerome bettis on the show today. >> seth: oh, that's great! >> on "the chew." >> seth: all right. and how was the bus? >> and he even liked our draft. so, that was good. >> seth: yeah, johnny football. that's very good. >> johnny football. a lot of good picks. they got a shut-down corner, they got johnny football, and they got a tackle. life is good. >> seth: so do you -- when you are watching football, are you the guy in charge of cooking the food for everybody to eat? >> yeah. you know, i throw it all together. i mean, i like doing quick dishes like this. >> seth: mm-hmm. >> you know, so it really makes it easy. you can enjoy your time with your friends and you're good to go. you've got to get in there a little bit. i know you're kind of fancy, got your cufflinks on. [ laughter ] >> seth: they said we're making meatballs. i said "bring my fanciest suit!" [ laughter ] >> this kind of what we're -- the show that i'm doing on food
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network now, "america's best cook", it's kind of like this. i mentor home cooks, not chefs. >> seth: right. >> we all compete against each other. alex guarnaschelli's a mentor, i'm a mentor, tyler florence and cat cora, we each have two people. >> seth: gotcha. >> and they cook against each other. and then they get judged. >> seth: now, when you're mentoring someone, do you know right away if they have it? >> yeah. i wasn't worried about how they could cook, i was worried about kind of like, if they had a little bit of spunk to 'em. >> seth: gotcha. >> so the finale is sunday. and i have two people left. the two i started with. >> seth: that's good. >> 'cause you know, i'm from cleveland, we win stuff. >> seth: absolutely right. city of champions. [ laughter ] >> city of champions. and then alex has one and cat has one. >> seth: right. >> so the finale is this sunday at 9:00 and bobby's judging it. bobby flay. >> seth: oh, great. >> works out great. >> seth: all right, what's next? >> this tzatziki. greek yogurt, a little bit of fresh mint, some diced cucumber. >> seth: gotcha. >> um, the zest and juice of a lemon. >> seth: all right. i like that. >> so you just -- a little bit of that. it's gonna give it that tartness. this is a pretty classic greek sauce.
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and you can even make the sauce a day or two ahead of time, because it actually gets better as it sits. >> seth: now, you have greek heritage, right? >> i do. my mother is greek -- so you're doing a great job with those. >> seth: thank you. it's really good. >> you keep going, i have 'em all done right here. [ laughter ] >> seth: why though? why do we do this? >> i just wanted to tell you to roll my spicy balls. i don't know. >> seth: there you go. the good news is that you can't even see i have it on my hands. it's great. it leaves no marks. >> but you can do this with -- i like spicy. so i did it with spicy sausage. but you can use a sweet italian sausage, any sausages you want. >> seth: now what do we have over here? i have to ask. just because this looks like the most delicious thing i've ever seen. >> that's is afried pork cutlet. >> seth: great. >> it has a little bit of rapini on it. it's on a soft egg roll with some parmesan cheese. >> seth: that's great. and that's just to be here to be awesome. >> just -- i wanted to give you some extra stuff. >> seth: i love it. it's great. >> like these are two rows -- i have a cookbook called "5 in 5." it's five ingredients, five minutes, for under five bucks. and these are two things from the book. >> seth: all right, i think i can do this too, if you wanted to get me in there.
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>> yeah. come over here. >> seth: so on the finale of the show, what did the chef have to cook? how does it work on that show? >> well, every week, it's a different thing. the judge is based on what the thing is. they've done desserts, they've done, kind of, weird foods. this week, there's a burger contest, and then the winner of that contest goes into the final contest. >> seth: all right. >> so it should be interesting. would you like to try one? >> seth: i would love to try one. >> i mean, you worked so hard rolling them. >> seth: i worked so hard. >> this is delicious. >> seth: excellent. i want to take full credit for them, even though i really didn't do anything. [ applause ] >> it was the rolling that put them over the top. >> seth: we're a team. >> absolutely. >> seth: we're a team. pittsburgh and cleveland, together at last. the season finale -- i have to finish this. i'm sorry. the season finale of "america's best cook" airs sunday, may 18th on the food network. we'll be right back with more "late night." [ cheers and applause ] this is what we want to show.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to "late night." my thanks to will forte, michael symon, vanessa bayer, jason sudeikis, and as always, fred armisen and the 8g band. [ cheers and applause ] "carson daly" is up next. but first, to conclude tonight's episode, an in-depth discussion of this evening's sketch which
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we are calling "after jenjamin." [ light laughter ] for those of you at home, feel free to go online and see the rest of this segment. we expect it won't last longer than eight hours. [ light laughter ] vanessa bayer had to leave because a hollywood producer saw her in tonight's sketch and offered her a 100 picture movie deal. [ laughter ] so will, let's start, do you feel satisfied having finally performed "jenjamin franklin" for an audience? [ laughter ] >> did herman melville feel satisfied when he finally did "moby dick" for the first time? they staged it many times. did ernest hemingway get the same satisfaction from staging "the sun always rises?" did tom clancy love "hunt for red october?" i mean, it is more a question in
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a question, you know? it's more about a life philosophy. i mean, yeah, it was all right, it was good, it was great, it was fine. it's more like, how can we make ourselves better as people? how can we learn from this situation tonight? [ laughter ] >> seth: gotcha. >> and that's what i'm happy about. i felt like we were teaching people. we weren't, like, showing a sketch. we were teaching people. we were growing and, you know, this is a template for -- >> what's next, right? >> thank you. [ light laughter ] >> seth: jason, you inhabited a role -- >> yeah. [ cheers and applause ] so many had grappled with and had not quite wrestled to the ground. jonah hill, ashton kutcher, brian williams. what was your approach to this character? >> you know, i just sort of -- will wrote a beautiful letter. we usually text but when someone
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writes a letter now -- [ laughter ] i don't know about you guys. i don't wanna speak -- but i freak out. i get scared first and i assume the worst. >> seth: anthrax. >> anthrax. exactly. [ laughter ] but i read it. it was very well written. it was incredibly concise. it was like, i'll see you here, or i'll cut off your [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] and i -- and i didn't want to say goodbye to my [ bleep ] yet. so it was like -- [ laughter ] so, here i was, and i tried to not watch the other versions of it. i know it was easy, because we don't videotape table reads. >> seth: right. >> so there was nothing to watch anyway. >> seth: never been on tape. >> never been filmed. and just a matter of diving in and saying the words written on the cue cards and not fake laughing in order to bring it home. >> seth: yeah.
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fred, you and vanessa probably have the hardest part in the sketch. because you played a couple who took quite a journey. you had met jenjamin. you seemed pretty into her. you were going to have a threeway with her, but then you decided to meet your friend. and then in the course of really only a few minutes, you became repulsed by jenjamin. it was a roller coaster, really. how do you approach that sort of scene? >> we saw ourselves as little tiny soldiers. [ light laughter ] you know what i mean? this is for jenjamin. so it was our duty, therefore, to leave. we exited at the end. that was our job. and we are just wheels for his truck. [ light laughter ] >> seth: now, will, i can't help but notice that you still have both lipstick and eye shadow on. [ laughter ] when, what point of tonight will that come off? >> i don't think it comes off tonight. [ laughter ] i wait until time and the elements drip it away gradually
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from me. [ light laughter ] >> seth: that's gross. >> as a showering man, it probably will be tomorrow at some point, basically. [ laughter ] ♪ >> carson: well, good evening. you're watching "last call." i'm carson daly and we are at "dimples" again for tonight's broadcast. coming up, night terrors of 1927 rock the troubadour and cristela alonzo performs in our "comedy spotlight." but first, we check in with an actor and director who's having a hell of a moment right now. not only is john slattery tearing it up as roger sterling in the final season of "mad men" but he's also making his directorial debut with the film "god's pocket" which screened at sundance earlier this year. for more, we got to barbarella bar and kitchen for the "last call spotlight." ♪ >> having had maybe a half cup of coffee to get to work and then they give you a glass of water

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