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tv   The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon  NBC  May 28, 2014 11:34pm-12:37am PDT

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it's expected to sell for more than $1 million. the artist calls it her confessional self-portrait. she woke up in the bed, she thought it was a work of art. that's $1 million. >> please. >> that looks like a bad weekend. anybody could put that together. >> every night in college. >> yes, exactly. okay. >> yeah. thanks for joining us at 11:00. we hope to see you again tomorrow. >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- arnold schwarzenegger. carson daly.
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musical guest, vampire weekend. and featuring the legendary roots crew. and now, here's your host jimmy fallon! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much! hey! welcome, everybody, to "the tonight show." welcome, welcome. thank you for watching. let's get to what everyone is talking -- i love you, too, ma'am. [ laughter ] let's get to what everyone is talking about. everyone's talking about the situation in ukraine still. and over the weekend vladimir putin ordered
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fireworks to go off in moscow to celebrate crimea joining russia. and also the fact that he had stanford beating kansas in his march madness -- [ laughter ] what are the odds of that? it's so great. you have to light fireworks with the -- that's right. putin ordered fireworks to go off in moscow. either that or one of putin's rivals tried to start his car. [ laughter ] boris was giving us big show to say thank you. [ laughter ] seems like everyone's weighing in on the situation in ukraine. in a new interview, mitt romney criticized president obama for being naive, unprepared and using bad judgments. [ audience oohs ] which is also how people describe romney when he's buying jeans. [ laughter ] [ imitating romney ] "do you have anything with pleats? anything here at all with pleats? like a dress jean. [ laughter ] like a dress jean that -- forget it. just buy the place out and i'll look through it later." [ laughter ] what? but obama has other things to worry about. today he was in the netherlands
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for a nuclear summit with 50 other world leaders. not saying obama's unpopular right now, but every time he puts down his tray in the cafeteria, all the other leaders move to another table. [ laughter ] c'mon bullies! bullies. [ applause ] forget it. i'll sit with you -- no, i don't want to sit with you. and get this, vladimir putin didn't even attend that nuclear conference. yeah. he sent his foreign minister in his place. i guess he said he doesn't want to visit any country he can't keep. [ laughter ] not interested. and this is pretty cool. i saw that president obama will travel to the vatican this week to meet with pope francis for the first time. yeah. now, when meeting the pope, it's important to keep certain things in mind. so here are some do's and don'ts that should help. ♪ [ applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: first, do talk to him about serious religious issues.
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don't ask him if god really sounds like morgan freeman. [ laughter ] just don't get involved. do ask him how to be a better person. don't ask him how to make billy dee williams a better dancer because -- ♪ [ applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: oh, my god. >> jimmy: starting to grow on me a little bit. i like it. yeah, yeah, yeah. it's so cool, yeah. and finally, do admire the pope's hat. don't tell him pharrell's hat is way cooler. [ applause ] i mean, he doesn't want to hear that. >> steve: why would you do that? >> jimmy: because it's larger. >> steve: no need. >> jimmy: of course the other big story is march madness. there were a ton of big upsets. everyone's bracket is ruined, right? yeah. i saw the answer this weekend. there are no winners in
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warren buffett's billion dollar march madness challenge. but on the bright side, warren's kids are speaking to him again. [ laughter ] you were going to leave all the money to some person who's a a good guesser? and not us? [ light laughter ] that makes sense. thanks, dad. >> steve: yeah. this is cool. this is my favorite ride. i heard that this year marked the 50th anniversary of disney's "it's a small world" ride. i love "it's a small world." yeah. they're actually making some changes to it, though. i heard they are making the russian section much, much larger. [ laughter ] why are we stuck by crimea the whole time, mommy? i don't know. just wave at the little troops and we'll be good. [ laughter and applause ] they're not doing that. >> steve: yeah, come on. >> jimmy: that's not how they dance. >> steve: it's lando calrissian. >> jimmy: that's not how lando dances. [ laughter ] oh, edward snowden is in the news again. i can't believe this guy. now, intelligence officials are
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accusing snowden of helping the russian government get around nsa surveillance. snowden said, "look, what i do with my computer on my time with your information is nobody's business but mine, okay? [ applause ] we cool?" speaking of the nsa, this is pretty interesting. in a new interview, former president jimmy carter said he thinks the nsa is reading his emails. then he looked at his grandkids and said, "well, at least somebody is." [ laughter ] [ audience aws ] grandpa just wanted to tell you how he grows peanuts. [ laughter ] you don't want to read grandpa's emails. i'm fine, i'm going to be fine. this is just weird here. an official in new jersey just admitted to stealing $460,000 in quarters from a a state storage facility. yeah, he was sentenced to one year of doing everyone's laundry. [ laughter ] people like that are just going to bring the country down. [ scattered applause ]
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here's a crazy story. there were no injuries on saturday when three elephants briefly escaped from a circus in missouri. when i heard that i was like, "there weren't any clowns that got loose, were there? [ laughter ] then it gets real scary." >> steve: yeah, that's scary. >> jimmy: did i tell you that idea i had for a movie? >> steve: what's that? >> jimmy: clown lake. >> steve: oh, yeah. >> jimmy: this is scary. chiller, do we still have that? does that cable network still exist? >> steve: hey, if not, we'll make it exist. >> jimmy: chiller. it should go on the show chiller -- the channel chillers. >> steve: right. >> jimmy: or whatever the channel horror movies go on. and what happens is it's a a clown car. >> steve: right. >> jimmy: it's going over a a bridge. it just falls off the bridge and 800 clowns die and drown. [ laughter ] so they haunt the lake. >> steve: right, so 800 clowns? >> jimmy: 800 clowns. they're in one tiny car. >> steve: they're in a tiny car. >> jimmy: it's just a fluke accident. >> steve: freak accident. just find out that somebody did some evil to them. that's why they had the
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accident. >> jimmy: i'm not writing the thing. i'm just saying it's going to -- [ laughter ] the idea, i'll give it to some writer. if you want to do it, please. [ laughter ] we'll get some famous voiceovers. >> steve: yeah, bunch of clowns. emmett kelly. >> jimmy: no, no. no clowns. no real clowns. >> steve: okay. >> jimmy: yeah, no. just famous voices. >> steve: okay. james earl jones? >> jimmy: james earl jones, okay. he's interested. i've heard from his agent. [ laughter ] >> steve: morgan freeman as clown god. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: he said he might do it. he's on the fence. >> steve: he's not for sure. >> jimmy: i have to talk to his agent. >> steve: i mean, this is big. >> jimmy: yeah, this is giant. [ laughter ] and finally, you guys, this is -- we'll talk about this later. this was getting big on youtube today. i guess this dad was filming his son and he asked his son to name all the bad words he knew. and watch the kid's response. >> tell me all the bad words you know. go. >> crap. shut up. butthead. butthole. and -- butt crack. and --
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[ bleep ]. >> jimmy: there we go. [ applause ] i have a feeling he's going to learn a few more words when his mother sees what daddy put up on youtube. we have a great show. give it up for the roots, everybody. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome, everybody. oh, man. this feels good. >> steve: yeah, monday! >> jimmy: we got a hot show. we've got a hot week ahead. i had kind of a stressful day yesterday. i went out with my wife and my baby. we were driving around. and we were driving -- drove to this beach in the hamptons. it was like a beach, just to look at the ocean or whatever. and i go to my wife -- i thought it would be romantic because i think you can drive
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on the beach after 6:00. and i got one of the cars that are like, you know, whatever -- earth rover or something like that. earth -- whatever. you can drive anywhere. i've seen commercials where they drive up rocks. and the guy's got all these logs in the driveway, and he drives up. so i go, there should be nothing to this. there's a dial you can turn and there's the car, and it's next to a cactus. i'm assuming sand. [ laughter ] >> steve: cactus -- >> jimmy: you're in arizona? i don't know what that means. but i turned it around. i go, "what do you say we just drive on the beach?" my wife is like, i guess. i mean, it's pretty steep here. i don't know if you can drive this thing there. i'm like, "honey, who cares? all right. let's just do it." so she goes, "i don't know." so i just figured i'd make the manly thing and let's just take off. put it in sand. [ laughter ] for a second i think the car flashed "no." [ laughter ] like, trust me. so i'm driving in the sand and it's just awful.
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i'm hydroplaning on the sand. and i'm trying not to act not nervous. the baby's mobile is going like -- she loves it. she didn't know that you could do that with the mobile. she's like, this is awesome. and then i'm like, "all right. i just got to figure this out." so i go, "okay, honey, i think this was fun. we had enough. this is romantic." there's sweat coming down my face. i go, "i'm just going to go right up to the next way i can get off the beach onto the thing." i go up this giant hill and -- [ imitates engine ] and my wife goes, "you know, the more you keep doing that, the more you're going to get stuck." i go, "all right. okay, well, what do you want me to do?" i mean, i have nothing. so i go -- [ imitates engine ] and i feel us just getting lower. [ laughter ] and i totally -- i totally got stuck in the sand. [ audience oohs ] like pulling -- that's on the highest suspenon. that's touching the ground. and i was just trying to be cool. of course, there's no other cars trapped in the sand because i'm an idiot. >> steve: no one else is driving. >> jimmy: i'm an idiot. yeah, yeah, yeah. i'm the only -- so, i didn't know what to do. i called 911. [ laughter and applause ]
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i didn't know what to do. i had no idea. guy was like, "don't call 911, you idiot. you call a tow trucking company." i'm like, "i'm so sorry." i felt stupid, but i didn't know who to call. so i just ended up getting some tow company. this guy's named -- oh, we don't have to show the number or anything. but it's a comedy name. hammer towing. [ laughter ] i swear. >> steve: it's a guy with a a hammer toe. >> jimmy: the guy's name is elijah osborn. he totally saved me. pulled me out. he had a really funny joke. of course, my phone was dying. and he came up and he looked at us and goes, "uh, you know you can't park there." [ laughter ] it was a good opening joke. but anyway, thank you, elijah, for saving me out of that sand. i won't do it again! i promise! [ applause ] we got a fun, fun show tonight. [ imitating schwarzenegger ] "he's a big time action star. he's the former governor of california." [ cheers and applause ] his new movie "sabotage" is out on friday.
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arnold schwarzenegger is here! >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] come on! >> jimmy: he's a manly guy. also, we have a guy. he hosts one of the biggest shows on tv, "the voice." carson daly is stopping by. [ cheers and applause ] he's a busy, busy man. and we got great music from vampire weekend tonight! [ cheers and applause ] it's a hot show. it's a fun, fun show. do you guys ever go on twitter and you see a tweet from a a celebrity or somebody that looks like it makes no sense? it's like a random statement out of left field. and then you click expand and realize they're actually just responding to another a a person's question? i'll show you what i mean in this next segment called "in reply to." here we go. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: so the way this works is i'll show you a celebrity's tweet, and then we'll see the question they were replying to. first example is from cnn.
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they responded to @sturasherema. "8:00 in the morning and 10:00 at night." [ light laughter ] i'm not really sure what they're talking about there. but let's see what they were asked. "how many people watch cnn?" [ laughter ] but now it makes more sense to see where it goes. >> steve: yeah, i see what it is. >> jimmy: that's the gist. [ applause ] so this next one is from vice president joe biden. he responded, "they've crossed a boundary that should never be crossed." [ laughter ] let's see what he was asked. "what do you think about taco bell selling breakfast tacos?" i mean that's -- [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: yeah, that's not -- >> jimmy: stay out of our business. [ applause ] >> steve: stay out of breakfast. >> jimmy: breakfast is breakfast. >> steve: yeah. tacos is tacos. >> jimmy: thank you. moving on. here's one from the clothing company ralph lauren. they responded, "polo." here's the question. "marco?" [ laughter and applause ] i mean, it just -- that happened all day long. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: all day long. >> steve: all day long, right? >> jimmy: until they finally got the tag off --
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>> steve: marco! >> jimmy: they finally tagged ralph lauren in it. and that was the end of it. >> steve: they're fun people. >> jimmy: this one is from dwayne johnson. he replied, "i'm the rock. i'll win that match-up every time." i was like, what's going down? here's the question. "do you think you could beat scissors?" [ laughter ] and you go -- >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: rock beats scissors. >> steve: every time. every time. >> jimmy: don't ask him about paper. >> steve: don't. >> jimmy: he gets upset. [ laughter ] >> steve: he gets real upset. >> jimmy: he gets real upset. >> steve: he's the rock. >> jimmy: yeah, he's the rock. this next one is from the state of colorado. they responded -- the state of colorado, by the way, yeah. >> steve: okay. >> jimmy: they responded, "anything is possible if you put your mind to it." let's see what they were asked. "can you make a bong out of a a ukulele?" [ laughter ] i mean -- this is true. i guess. [ applause ] >> steve: i guess. >> jimmy: they're nice people. >> steve: it's america. >> jimmy: you can do whatever you want. it's america. >> jimmy: this next one is from hugh hefner. he replied, "they dangle down around my ankles." [ laughter ] let's see the question.
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"where do you wear your ankle bracelets?" i don't know what they were thinking. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: but now it makes sense. >> steve: dirty. >> jimmy: here's the last one here. this is from toronto mayor rob ford. [ audience ohs ] he replied, "whoo, it's spring break!" [ laughter ] let's see the question. "what do you say when you wake up every morning?" [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] there you go. that's all the time we have for "in reply to." we'll be right back with arnold schwarzenegger! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ when was the last time your wireless company made you feel like this? or this? the new cricket wireless believes you should be doing... a lot more of this. so we don't have any of those silly annual contracts. but we do have a whole lot of coverage. all for just $35 dollars a month; after a $5 credit for using auto pay.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest is the former governor of california. not to mention one of the biggest action stars in the history of film. his newest movie "sabotage" is in theaters everywhere on friday. ladies and gentlemen please welcome arnold schwarzenegger! ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: arnold! [ cheers and applause ] welcome. >> thank you, thank you. >> jimmy: welcome to our "tonight show." i appreciate you coming back. >> thank you. it's wonderful to be back. by the way -- >> jimmy: yeah? >> --congratulations on the huge success. i mean, you have the highest ratings. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. >> unbelievable. >> jimmy: thank you very much. good people. >> and i heard your story about going to the beach with your family. >> jimmy: oh, no. [ light laughter ] >> have you ever heard of the car a hummer? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no see i have never heard of that thing. >> you got to go with a hummer to the beach with your family so they're safe and protected, not with this little thing. what is that? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: whoa, whoa, whoa -- you have never been in a a situation -- >> that's a girly man car. >> jimmy: a girly man's car. give me a break. [ laughter ] >> this is not a man's car. [ applause ] >> jimmy: it's unbelievable. >> it is unbelievable. [ laughter ] it was.
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i was just shaking my head back there in the green room. i said, "what is he talking about?" "what's he doing with this red car?" i mean the color alone already is dangerous. [ laughter ] i go to the beach with my family when you have a baby there that means safety is the most important thing. >> jimmy: yeah. >> you got to go with a car that has 45-inch tires and go you go out there 4-wheel drive. >> jimmy: i don't want to drive a monster truck around the beach. >> but you're safe. >> jimmy: i would keep my baby in the back of grave digger? and then like driving around like monster truck? >> hanging on the ceiling, bouncing around. >> jimmy: that's not safe at all. to be honest we were safe because we weren't moving anywhere. [ laughter ] we just kind of nestled in the sand like ostrich eggs. >> what if the water rises? >> jimmy: i was afraid of that, by the way. the tide came in. i mean i thought maybe that would give me traction to get out. [ laughter ] i really i had no thoughts. it was just awful. >> i can tell you have not done any action movies. [ laughter ] [ applause ] otherwise you would know those things.
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>> jimmy: last time i saw you, you taught me to man up a a little bit. you taught me about cigars and what good cigars to have. we went to -- >> havana room. >> jimmy: a club. havana room. some secret club and i didn't know even that we were underground. we're under like six layers of earth. almost where my car ended up. i could have met you there. we were in an under ground bunker. we were sitting there, just smoking cigars and you tell me -- you said, "no you don't -- stop lighting. stop lighting it! you lit it already." you were yelling at me. [ laughter ] i thought i saw people turn -- they use to rotate the cigar around. i've seen that in movies and you go, "you lit it! stop lighting it! it's lit!" [ laughter ] >> well because your sleeve was on fire. >> jimmy: well i didn't know my sleeve was on fire. something was burning me. >> i remember you kept sucking on it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i was not doing that! that's what people do. >> i said, "be calm. just pull back. let it cool." i said --i said, "put it between your teeth." >> jimmy: alright.
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>> then just like this, just nice and slow. [ laughter ] and the ashes -- the ashes will glow. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: let's just let the memory be what it is. [ light laughter ] >> let them know what was going on behind doors. >> jimmy: that was unbelievable. >> you picked it up. >> jimmy: yeah. >> even though you said, "i'm little dizzy now." all right, all right. >> jimmy: i don't wanna tell everybody what's going on down here. >> let's not talk about it. well, you do stuff that i go, "i would never in my life dream about." here's one thing that you're doing now. i just love this. you're doing this for charity. you take you're tank. you own a tank. >> right. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: this is a real photo. and you just drive it and crush over -- you just drive it over things and crush things. >> that's right. [ laughter ] why not? >> jimmy: best thing in the whole wide world. >> i know. >> jimmy: i've been doing this for a long time. then i thought, "i could never get a tank. how did you get a tank?" >> this was the very tank i actually drove in the austrian army.
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when i was 18 years old i went in the austrian army and i became a tank driver. and then years and years later, decades later, i said to myself, "well now they don't need it anymore." it's a patton tank that america gave austria after it became a a neutral country after 1955. and so i drove the tank and we had 500 of those tanks. but then they became obsolete. so i asked the austrian army if i can have it back. [ laughter ] if i can have my tank that i drove exactly with that number. i had to get permission from the austrain -- from the american -- the pentagon and from the military and all of those kind of things which was easy to get for me because i was then the chairman of the president counsel and fitness center. i knew very well dick cheney and colin powell and those guys. they got me the permission and the austrian army sent me the tank. [ applause ] >> jimmy: only you could get a a tank. >> and now -- i mean now we're using it like for fundraising,
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you know? i'm very passionate about after school programs which i've been doing nationwide for the last 20 some years. and you know we always need money for it so we can enroll more kids in after school programs. and here we have found a way of just having people participate and pay. we raised through this fundraiser over a million dollars for after school programs and for kids -- >> jimmy: oh my god. >> to join and get them off the streets. [ applause ] >> jimmy: you go on youtube, you can see these videos. >> that's right, yeah. >> jimmy: it's are really, really fun. it's like, you're like, "oh, my gosh." cause like when you're a kid you just want to crush things, and drive trucks and tanks. but you never thought it could really happen in real life and you're doing it. >> you get into real trouble also i can tell you that because i remember when i was 18 years old and i started as a a tank driver. we made mistakes. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: well like how? like i would totally love --you could drive pretty fast in these things right? >> yeah but it's not so much the speed. it's 35 miles an hour, 40 miles an hour at the most. but i remember one time we were
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on maneuver. it was 12:00 midnight. and so we broke for lunch -- what they call lunch even though it was at midnight. but we decided, my friend who had the tank, an m-60 next to me which was a modernized tank. so i said to him, i said, "let's see who's faster down this hill." [ light laughter ] and so we took off. and we drove down this hill at least 40 miles an hour. >> jimmy: you put click into hill mode. yeah, yeah, yeah. put it into hill mode. >> just downhill in the middle of the night. we didn't see where we were going. we're just crashing through trees and bushes and everything. but by the time we came down to the bottom, i beat him even though he had the more modern tank. but i realized the whole infantry, 15 guys that were standing on top of the tank, i totally forgot to tell them to get off the tank. [ laughter ] so they were just holding on and then they were falling off. i heard the screams the whole time. [ screaming ] i said, "what is going on here?"
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and all those guys were falling off. by the time i got to the bottom there was no one on the tank anymore. i was in the tank. and then of course, when we came back -- >> jimmy: you kind of -- you're like, "i won." >> we were punished. >> jimmy: oh yeah. >> we had the to crawl under the tank in the mud. it was like thick mud. we had to crawl under the tank, up on top of the tank, up into the turret, down the bottom, out again, underneath the tank. we did this 50 times. i tell ya, when you get full of mud, you can't move. >> jimmy: yeah. >> it was impossible --after 25 times i couldn't move anymore. it took me from 12:00 midnight to 6:00 in the morning to do this 50 reps. to do the whole thing over and over again. i was so exhausted, i slept for 24 hours after that. those are the kind of punishment they will give you in the army for making this kind of -- >> jimmy: making a mistake, yeah. same with me almost. i had about maybe a pound and a a half of sand in my shoes. [ laughter ] and i was walking and my shoes -- i could barely lift my legs. i was like -- i slept for 20 more hours. >> how many more times do we
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have to see the red car? >> jimmy: help me! i'm crushed. i'm crying. help me! >> you needed the tank. you needed the tank. >> jimmy: i want to talk about -- so you needed the tank. first of all, that sounds like something that could have happened in your new movie. i love this. if you love action films, you want to see cool guns, cool equipment, explosions, it's just fun. it's "sabotage." it's out this friday. it's you --great cast of people. sam worthington from "avatar," mireille enos from "the killing." i love her. she's awesome. terrence howard is in it. do you want to explain what it is? i know you're in the d.e.a. >> well yeah, the d.e.a is really the top task force. it was a task force. we are part of, you know, a a group that infiltrates into a a drug cartels. drug organizations. and it's a very dangerous job, but eventually, you know, the work backfires. and, but it is an action hero that is crossing the line himself too many times. >> jimmy: and no one does
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action better than you. [ applause ] no one. here's a clip. here's arnold schwarzenegger in "sabotage" out this friday. take a look. >> guess i'm the only one with any balls here. i've got money. >> let it go. all right? >> no. >> it's an occupational hazard when you fight the cartels. >> oh, really? you see any other feds getting smoked? >> it could happen to anyone. >> bull [ bleep ]! look are we that cheap or is that some [ bleep ] you're spitting in case this place is bugged? >> someone is listening. >> i ain't going to fight you, boss. >> jimmy: yeah i wouldn't fight you either. [ cheers and applause ] more with arnold schwarzenegger when we get back, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. i'm here with the great arnold schwarzenegger. [ cheers and applause ] new movie "sabotage" out this friday. now, arnold, i was up late last night. i was watching some tv and i could have sworn that i saw you on qvc. >> that could be. i mean, the thing is that it maybe sounds weird but when i see a product i really love -- i mean, i really get into it. i mean really get behind it. i want it to be successful, and to sell it, to market. the whole thing. i mean, that's just me. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: last night you seemed really into one product in particular. and it actually -- well, we -- we have a clip. let's check this out. ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back to qvc. i'm your host zach striker. and with me today is renowned foodie and a guy who really knows his way around the kitchen, arnold schwarzenegger right there. arnold? [ cheers and applause ] >> it's great to be here, zach. >> jimmy: now, arnold, what would you say if i told you that we have not one but two amazing product offers today? >> i would say, "wow! [ laughter ] this is really incredible! what are they?" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: the blamazamo. first we have this amazing vit-a-mix stainless steel blender and over here, we have a killer vegetable chopper. now, if you do a lot of slicing and dicing, this is the chopper for you. >> chopper. okay, so now we have seen both of the products. so, tell me about it. >> jimmy: you know it, arnold. here we go. now, feast your eyes on this blender here. this bad boy is the perfect product for making smoothies, milkshakes, even pina coladas if you're feeling muy caliente. [ laughter ]
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you name it, that'll blend it. kablamazamo! >> no, no. i mean, we all know this is a a blender so go ahead. let's get to the chopper. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: okay. but that's coming up. but first, this baby comes fully-loaded with tons of high octane features. i'm talking spill-proof lid, easy grip handle, and what's that? shatter-proof container? kablamazamo. [ laughter ] >> look. we know this is a blender and we know exactly what the blender does. but let's get to the chopper! [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: don't even get me started on the variable speed control here. what do you say we take this puppy for a spin here? here we go. oh, look at that right there! look at it go! >> get to the chopper! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right. now, soup's on, kids! i almost forgot to mention that the q -- the hp motor here is a a two-piece hp motor. and once we get that going, you're going to really want to see -- >> let's get to the chopper! >> jimmy: all right.
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>> let's get to the chopper! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right, well, folks, we're going to take a a quick commercial break. we'll be right back. okay? [ cheers and applause ] >> i'll be back. >> jimmy: we'll be back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: now i didn't see the ending of that because i was gonna sleep. you were wearing that apron there. what happened? [ laughter ] you were wearing that -- i see it looks something like that last night. >> i loved it. >> jimmy: you do, yeah. so you took it with you? >> i kept it. this is one of the products that i loved so much. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: what ended up happening? >> we got to the chopper. >> jimmy: absolutely, yeah. my thanks to the great arnold schwarzenegger. [ cheers and applause ] "sabotage" in theaters everywhere friday. stick around.
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we'll be right back with carson daly! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i don't like the look of this mob, lenny. a.m. crunchwraps over here. cinnabon delights over there! looks like a morning rave is about to go down. next thing you know they'll be twerking with their waffle tacos hanging out. we survived disco, now this. oh, yeah, that is definitely a rave... what's a rave? what's a twerk? [ male announcer ] the next generation of breakfast is here. the waffle taco, a.m. crunchwrap, and cinnabon delights, part of the all-new breakfast menu at taco bell.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is a a producer and the host of the emmy award winning show "the voice," airing mondays and tuesdays at 8:00 p.m. on nbc. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome carson daly! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: carson, welcome my friend. >> hello, everybody. thanks for having me. >> jimmy: welcome, pal. >> what's happening, buddy? congratulations on "the tonight show"! >> jimmy: oh, thank you very much. >> this is awesome. >> jimmy: it's crazy. congratulations on the "today" show. >> this is crazy. thank you. >> jimmy: we are taking over nbc. that's so fun. >> we used to just drink beers at the crappiest bars here in new york like ten years ago.
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>> jimmy: yeah, not even that long ago. we're still doing it. [ laughter ] >> i know. >> jimmy: it's unbelievable, but congrats. >> i have children now. >> jimmy: i know. by the way, i got the cutest christmas card from you. thank you so much. your kids are gorgeous. >> oh, and likewise. winnie's beautiful, too. >> jimmy: thank you, thank you very much. should i -- we're talking cars. >> yeah. >> jimmy: because last time i talked to you, we were talking about getting a minivan. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and you're like, "oh, you've got to get a minivan." >> oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. i've got two kids. >> jimmy: is that the most fun? >> i have a 5-year-old and my daughter is 19 months, and we're expecting a third. so, we need to -- >> jimmy: is that right? [ cheers and appla >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: congratula buddy. >> thank you. >> jimmy: no congratulations >> thank i could use a cocktai >> jimmy: yeah, exactly. yeah, oh my gosh. >> yeah, we wen we wanted the we saw this great toyota sienna? you have >> jimmy: no one "swagger wagon" but you. >> no, it's fine. i swear to god. they have a whole campaign about it. the rapping parents. you haven't seen it? >> jimmy: no. >> it's great. anyway, we got it. [ laughter ] i highly recommend it. like, i love -- i love our swagger wagon. you should get it. what are you driving? >> jimmy: right now it's a clown car.
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>> other than that thing that's stuck in the sand. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's a clown car. i got it from b but it's all on lease, so i can always give >> i'll sell you mine. because i h now, i'm going to get another car. i need th all the kids are going to come out of it. >> jimmy: yeah, exactly. you're having you t how's mom doing by the way? >> she's doing great. thanks so much. >> jimmy: is she happy being grandma? >> oh, you have no idea. "hey, when are you go have a kid?" take it easy. >> jimmy: "what's the rush now, carson?" >> why you having so many chil >> jimmy: well, she talks to my mom all the time >> she's great. yeah, our moms are friends. i found out you got this job from my mom. i called my mom like, "what's going on?" she's like, "did you hear about jimmy? he's got 'the tonight show.'" "i talked to gloria." i talked to your mom. >> jimmy: really? that's how i found out, too. >> yeah. i was like, "tell jimmy [ laughter ] >> jimmy: my mom told you? your mom told my mom now, she told me. >> my mom should worked for "the hollywood >> jimmy: i know. it's a telephone game, yeah. >> my mom calls in a bad mood, she's telling me "last call" i'm like, "what do you know?" >> jimmy: you know some scoop. no, no, no nev >> "what do you "carson, are you si >> jimmy: well, you have -- wait. so, how many days of the week are you in new >> it's crazy. >> jimmy: ar where --
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>> we're here. we're really based here. >> jimmy: do y are now? >> i do. i'm on "the tonight show", jimmy fallon. i'm stoked to be here, man. >> jimmy: oh, no, i love you but -- >> i'm so happy for y >> jimmy: oh, stop. are because you've got the "the voice" and then you come back then -- >> when we used to go on "snl," he would -- our office be next to each other. and we're both big music fans and he'd walk in with glasses on when i was doing "trl mtv and he'd be like, "hey, how about this for snl? "hi, i'm carson daly and i'm a a massive tool." [ laughter ] i would be laughing, you know, and i'd like, "i don't even wear glasses, why are you doing that?" >> jimmy: i remember you did at on you did wear glasses. >> yeah, i did at one poi >> jimmy: but i h costume for you. >> it's so crazy. and here we are. i'm so stoked for you. >> jimmy: i know. now here we are next to each other. you the best yo remember when as you? >> dressed as me! >> jimmy: as you, yeah. we both had matching outfits. why did you do that anyway? >> jimmy: i don't know. >> was that eminem, real slim shady or something? >> jimmy: no. wait, wearing the or which one? >> yeah, no, why were we dressed alike? "trl." >> jimmy: i said what if i wen on dr so we both went and got special outfits. >> th [ laughter ] >> jimmy: just to make the joke funnier. i don't know w it got a good re >> look, i'm happy for >> jimmy: i watch the "today" show and i think now and then i go, "this is like trl."
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>> i love it. it is. people ask me what it's like. grown-ups." >> jimmy: it really is. it reminds me of carson daly "trl," except you're teaching like -- you got matt lauer and you got al and you're teaching them about apps. i just think you're doing such a great job over there. >>hanks. i mean, it's so much fun. really, it's crazy. >> jimmy: and "the voice" is just the biggest earth. [ cheers and applause ] so exciting to watch. >> thank you. >> jimmy: you do a great job. >> it's fun. it's fun. >> jimmy: there's all those different variables and different rules had to go in. oh, no, round comes up and then they'll get them in the stealing round so it really keeps me excited all the way through watching it. >> you know how much i love music. we just -- we care so much about the the show. we don't ever want them to think that they're on just some we try to take care of them. we try and find really good talent and getting guys like usher and shakira, or even this year we have chris martin from coldplay. you know, we are getting good people in the business side. they look at the show as music credible and that's really important to all of us. >> jimmy: chris martin is coming on the show this year? >> yeah, it's great. >> jimmy: oh really? oh, he's smart. i love that guy. one of the nicest guys. >> one of the nicest guys. it's been really fun to do it. >> jimmy: you're the resident
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bartender? >> i am, yeah. i'm blake shelton's personal bartender. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's a full-time job. that's a full-time job right there. >> that's a full-time gig. they don't pay me enough for that. i do. we shoot these long d have this trailer village and i'm the bloody mary guy. > >> yeah, i like to make a good bloody mary. >> jimmy: what's your secret? what's your sec >> i like to -- my secret is really just i use a little worcestershire, a lot of kettle one. like a lot of vodka. [ laughter ] worcestershire. i do a prepared hor there. i do a little lemon because i think that cuts through some of the worcestershire. i put beef jerky on the top of it. it's just like a full thing. >> jimmy: here we go. now we're talking. beef jerky on top? >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: oh, i like that. >> and i'll put cheese. i'll make like a cheese sandwich. it's crazy. >> jimmy: no, really? you made a couple tonight? i actually made these. >> jimmy: with the beef jerky on top. >> i actually gave this as my christmas gift to friends. all the ingredients wrapped with -- i wrote out the recipe. >> jimmy: is that right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: i heard a little tip one that somebody told me. if you put a little shot of guinness in a bloody mary. >> oh, i do that. >> jimmy: you do? >> i'd do that on anything. [ l >> jimmy: eggs in the morning.
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dude, it can't happen to a a better guy. congrats on everything. >> and likewise. i'm so happy for you. >> jimmy: congrats on baby number three. that's awesome, buddy. >> tha >> jimmy: carson daly. "the voice" airs m tuesd vampire weekend performs next. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪it's so good to see you, got me dancing right out of my shoes.♪ ♪don't need a reason, all i really need is you.♪ ♪just for the fun of it, delicious crisp taste of it.♪ ♪just for the love of it. ♪just for the feel of it. ♪just for the taste of it, diet coke.♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guests, boy, we love them. we love them. they're here to perform
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"unbelievers," their latest single from their grammy winning album, "modern vampires of the city." please welcome vampire weekend! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ got a little soul the world is a cold cold place to be ♪ ♪ want a little warmth but who's gonna save a little warmth for me ♪ ♪ we know the fire awaits unbelievers all of the sinners the same ♪ ♪ girl, you and i will die unbelievers bound to the tracks of the train ♪ ♪ if i'm born again i know that the world will disagree ♪ ♪ want a little grace but who's gonna save a little grace for me ♪ ♪ we know the fire awaits
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unbelievers all of the sinners the same ♪ ♪ girl, you and i will die unbelievers bound to the tracks of the train ♪ ♪ i'm not excited but should i be ♪ ♪ is this the fate that half of the world has planned for me ♪ ♪ i know i love you and you love the sea but what holy water contains a little drop little drop for me ♪ ♪ ♪ see the sun go down it's going on down and the night is deep ♪ ♪ want a little light but who's gonna save a little light for me ♪
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♪ we know the fire awaits unbelievers all of the sinners the same ♪ ♪ girl, you and i will die unbelievers bound to the tracks of the train ♪ ♪ i'm not excited but should i be ♪ ♪ is this the fate that half of the world has planned for me ♪ ♪ i know i love you and you love the sea but what holy water ♪ ♪ contains a little drop little drop for me ♪ ♪
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♪ i'm not excited but should i be is this the fate that half of the world has planned for me ♪ ♪ i know i love you and you love the sea ♪ ♪ but what holy water contains a little drop little drop for me ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, buddies. vampire weekend! "modern vampires of the city" is in stores right now. we'll be right back, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to arnold schwarzenegger, carson daly! vampire weekend! [ cheers and applause ] and the roots, ladies and gentlemen, right there. stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night. hope to see you tomorrow. buh-bye! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- ellen page. lewis black.


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